#36258 +(243)- [X]

<Gwindor> I wasn't paying attention until I glanced and saw "squishing" and "cleavage" in the same sentence

#36265 +(392)- [X]

<cherno> midori will pay,
<cherno> somehow, i will find his family,
<cherno> and make hamburgers out of them
<cherno> and make him eat them!
<cherno> and then i will say
<cherno> "midori, would you like some more of your mother?, i mean beef"
<cherno> but it will really be his mother

#36275 +(285)- [X]

<chikster> I am 15
<hardlined> 15 is prime age to start experimenting with anal sex.

#36296 +(352)- [X]

* inshadowhiding sets off a small sodium bomb for warmth
SeaWolf has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Windesong has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Rish-sims has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Hypnos has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
Vulpine has quit irc : NETSPLIT :
<inshadowhiding> well that was efective

#36308 +(642)- [X]

<AwhSchitt> Well, a guy's puts objects into one of 3 categories.
<AwhSchitt> 1) "I want to have sex with it"
<AwhSchitt> 2) "I want to eat/drink it"
<AwhSchitt> 3) "It exists"

#36325 +(54)- [X]

<Snio> pathetic !!!!
<Snio> PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS = Lost dollars
<DawaiDOOM> you tried them?
<Snio> no ! of course !
<Snio> lol
<p0s> *LOG*
*** Parts: Snio (~jne@Mix-Bordeaux-208-2-43.abo.wanadoo.fr)

#36342 +(41)- [X]

<l_oke> im sure velocity sucks. Not that i use it, but most people that plugs their solutions all the time tend to be morons, and we all know what kind of code morons write.

#36344 +(435)- [X]

<jamesf> go to work, put your jacket over your chair and a cup of coffee next to your keyboard, then go home
<jamesf> everyone will think you're in a meeting
<jamesf> turn up again at 4, do an hour's work and then go home again
<jamesf> no-one will be any the wiser

#36349 +(129)- [X]

<Unhealthy_Hobo> i like, so have to stop saying 'like' and 'so'

#36355 +(247)- [X]

<synthetic-> God simply does not want me to have any meaningful relationships
<synthetic-> I'm up until 5:15 in the morning talking to a nice 18-year-old girl from Louisiana...
<synthetic-> AND SHE'S MARRIED
<synthetic-> even though I have no hope of ever meeting her, she's still unavailable

#36357 +(32)- [X]

>snoogins> yeah... I can get an ass fucking for free nowadays...

#36359 +(641)- [X]

<Kaymanistic>Jesus Christ.  My dog has been licking herself for almost 30 minutes straight!!!
<Rockjunky>God I wish I could do that..would never leave the house
<Whatsupdude>Dude I realize its a dog but dont you think you should ask her first?

#36361 +(261)- [X]

<Sulayman> That was pretty slick of you, trapping Kaete, EQ, and Fry into making idiots of themselves.
<Arazan> yeah they think there so smart but smart peoples always falls for traps because they think there smarter
<Sulayman> Guess you're pretty trap-safe then, huh?
<Arazan> what?
<Arazan> fuck u
*** Quits: Arazan (No route to host)

#36365 +(30)- [X]

<pr0tM4n_> anyone interested in 8 fatty mcse books? the ebay homo doesnt want to pay shipping
<ESD-Wyrk> no thanks, I got the movie

#36367 +(305)- [X]

<Jorenko> I'm getting a 96.1% in ORGASM right now, though. That's good.
<ZRaven> i didn't know Schroe had a grade book
<Jeff> Wow, I wish I could be graded for having orgasms.
<Schroe> ...
<Jorenko> EECS-2100: Computer Organization and Assembly Language
<ZRaven> the nice thing is if you weren't doing well, you could withdraw

#36368 +(246)- [X]

<gh0z> Microsoft gives you windows, linux gives you the whole house

#36373 +(489)- [X]

-plot· then i masterbated
-plot· :D
+chimney· we didn't need to know that last part
-plot· but you wanted to know
+chimney· oh yes, i just LOVE knowing when EVERY ONE has recently masturbated
+chimney· it's my top priority, i made a mysql database just to keep track
-plot· dude
-plot· thats sick

#36382 +(-51)- [X]

::: Mode: (@agg) sets (+m)
[@agg]: say nothing if ur gay !!!!!!!

#36392 +(129)- [X]

<Lestat> @find africa
<Ganner> @find nigeria
<Lestat> @find cuban missile crisis
<Lestat> @find fisherman tim
<brolli_420> @find SHUT THE FUCK UP

#36394 +(259)- [X]

<lec> saying "no kick?" is like walking into the YMCA shower, dropping the soap, and saying "wow, nobody fucking me up the ass?"

#36395 +(395)- [X]

<antimatter> i like my penis
<antimatter> it's so cute
<antimatter> sometimes i put makeup on it and talk to it
<antimatter> one time it talked back...scared me
<antimatter> it said 'wie geht es ihnen mein freunde'
<antimatter> my penis is bilingual

#36400 +(302)- [X]

<zs> i wanted to talk to him before i suicide
<zs> afk for a minute
<waffle> suicide does not count as afk

#36401 +(231)- [X]

<guest1101> techno...  I pity you..
<guest1101> I really do
<@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
<guest1101> NOT AT ALL
<guest1101> U ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT
<@Boogaleeboo> "U"
<@Boogaleeboo> Good move

#36402 +(298)- [X]

<Decoy-> hey, the funniest thing happend in 5th period today
<Decoy-> some chick was giving a guy a hand job
<Decoy-> the whole class knew it, they thought they were sneaky ;)
<Decoy-> I was so close to saying "Hey, im next right?"
<Threeboy> sloppy seconds.

#36403 +(492)- [X]

<daveb> ide is hot pluggable, right? ;)
*** daveb has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))

#36405 +(3)- [X]

<overkill_> yo
<overkill_> i bought these
<overkill_> fucking
<overkill_> cookie monster cookies
<overkill_> they are the bomb
<overkill_> haha
<ACExNx316> Cookie monster cookies?
<aNuBiS-> overkill_: was it hard to pick up the box with such limp wrists?
<overkill_> yea dude
<overkill_> hahahah
<b0nk> ehehaha

#36408 +(351)- [X]

<guest1101> YEAH I MEAN.. HEY... HOW MANY PPL HAVE A TAN AND USE IRC.. I MEAN CHRIST..
<Selfloathing> I used to have a tan, but then I lost it.
<Boogaleeboo> I always get a tan before winter
<anna_jpg> Tan is not the color cheetos leaves on your fingers.

#36410 +(233)- [X]

<Posty> what is it about the lead singer from Garbage that makes me wanna fuck 'er 'til my willy falls off?
<Threeboy> its cause she looks like a guy.

#36416 +(254)- [X]

<Kris> Gay men, after diamonds, are a girl's best friend

#36418 +(119)- [X]

<Arielana> i will not eat animal penis' for $50,000
<Arielana> lol
<Arielana> no way
<Phrizzawh> Arielana is a wuzz
<Phrizzawh> i would eat penis any day

#36419 +(756)- [X]

<Shibbz> my oven goes to like 750, lady who used to live here was a chef or some shit
<Shibbz> i can bake a baby in like 10 mins
<Shibbz> OOPS i mean chicken...
<Shibbz> yeah chicken

#36422 +(330)- [X]

<PyRo_ZaCh> i think i gota try sellin weed or something
<KeLLy`R> i'll buy some!
<PyRo_ZaCh> u got a heat lamp i could borrow?
<KeLLy`R> no sorry
<PyRo_ZaCh> hrmmmmmmm
<PyRo_ZaCh> i need that first
<PyRo_ZaCh> i got it planed so if i would  no one could find
<PyRo_ZaCh> but i need a heat lamp
<PyRo_ZaCh> and a rabbit
<PyRo_ZaCh> and some sort of hover craft

#36425 +(662)- [X]

<WillaCuz> *sigh*
<WillaCuz> why do people shoot at robocop

#36426 +(762)- [X]

<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition.

#36427 +(27)- [X]

<Geezus-stick> irc has to be the greatest achievement of mankind

#36429 +(776)- [X]

<bobaverill> "OH LORD I PRAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO RELEASE THESE DEMONS FROM MY BOWELS"--guy in next stall over from mine

#36430 +(362)- [X]

<CheapSk8[RKI]> I am against drugs
<CheapSk8[RKI]> I look in the mirror every morning and remind myself what they can do to a fetus beforth birth.
<tsingtao> your mom did drugs or something?
<CheapSk8[RKI]> No. She doesn't do drugs. I just happen to be in front of a mirror when i remind myself.

#36432 +(186)- [X]

<Gplex> is this the main channel
<Gplex> where's the main channel?
<Gplex> what's a "main channel"
<Gplex> what does that mean: "in the main channel"

#36433 +(34)- [X]

<chabo> I love you like Ike loves Tina

#36435 +(265)- [X]

<Volt9000> .. WHY THE FUCK DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it

#36436 +(230)- [X]

<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children

#36438 +(47)- [X]

<Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a bath, and watch the spice channel every day
<Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their fridge
<Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf"

#36442 +(245)- [X]

<RollingBrass> hey...the us open is coming to long island
<BADGER> <RollingBrass> You want a U.S. Open?! * Rollingbrass unveils a banner of Goatse Man
<RollingBrass> TigerWoods: Now THAT'S a 19th hole!
<BADGER> RollingBrass: More like a new hazard :P
<BADGER> <Ref> In the Goatse! Shoot from where it lands or mulligan? <Tiger> MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!

#36444 +(1474)- [X]

<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"

#36445 +(891)- [X]

<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!"

#36446 +(-2)- [X]

<WillaCuz> THERES A MIDGET ON MTV
<WillaCuz> noooooooooo
<WillaCuz> i missed it
<WillaCuz> lol
<aNuBiS-> :/
<aNuBiS-> I wanna fuck a dirty midget slut
<aNuBiS-> Then when I go to cum on her face, have her jump up trying to catch it like raindrops from the sky
<Chr[i]s> hahahah

#36451 +(82)- [X]

<Hsu> you can have such amazing battle in the beta
<Hsu> i suck ballz and i still have a shit load of fun
<Hsu> it gets you so pumped
<Methos> keeps you fit too sweating from all that adrenalin gaming.. that's how i stay fit
<Hsu> you smell
<Methos> yes, that's the sweat from the "set" i just did..
<Hsu> reps
<Hsu> got to love them
<Methos> it was a quick fast paced HL gib-fest
<Methos> my next "rep" is slower a calmdown by playing solitaire

#36454 +(16)- [X]

<neotech-> ;\
<neotech-> It ate my penis and then choked.

#36456 +(84)- [X]

(T1MMY) i just pinged yahoo.com
(T1MMY) 1st trial 888
(T1MMY) 2nd trial 741
(T1MMY) 3rd trial 439
(T1MMY) 4th trial 499
(T1MMY) min 439
(@Okelydokely) ...
(T1MMY) max 888
(T1MMY) avg 666

#36458 +(204)- [X]

<Talaysen> ...I used to get an erection watching the My Little Pony movie. I didn't know what it was but I kind of liked the feeling.