#39248 +(16)- [X]

<Straight|Sleep> i seen a black jew once
<Straight|Sleep> but i think that was a disguise and he was robbing the store

#39254 +(802)- [X]

<Pazzo> anyone got a windows XP cd-key?
<ClinRaro> Pazzo: FCKGW-E4TMY-C0CK-F4G0T
Pazzo is ~ident@tide110.microsoft.com

#39269 +(255)- [X]

<Spengler> this type of wankery upsets me.
<closque> as opposed to the other kind, which has quite the opposite effect

#39271 +(165)- [X]

<MTZ> UH! - incoming mail ... pretty late today
<SNeAK> how can mail be late ? slow computa ?
<MTZ> LOL - im talking about REAL mail

#39276 +(11)- [X]

<robbie> :D\-<
* robbie was kicked by c-rOCK (punch.)
* robbie has joined #geekissues
<@c-rOCK> wheres your precious -user now? muahahahahahahaha
<robbie> hey im not +fag anymore
<robbie> whats that?
<The_Llama> something is awry
<robbie> what does awry mean?

#39277 +(172)- [X]

<Blackmail> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta dish they served in fancy restaurants

#39280 +(243)- [X]

jenmigrant: I've figured it out.  There are two distinct species of male in the world:  All the men I want, and all the men I can have.

#39287 +(136)- [X]

*** Now talking in #ircnewbies
*** Topic is 'New ChanStats www.ircnewbies.net/ircnewbies/ircnewbies.html'
*** Set by e|ixir on Fri Oct 11 11:22:28
<c-rOCK> Damn cant go anywhere these days without the place being full of fuckin n00bs.

#39310 +(638)- [X]

<PrincessLeia2> once i climbed on the roof at my old (upstairs) apartment and climbed in through a window when I didnt have my keys
<Shell Gh0st> I use to do that
<Shell Gh0st> you had a nice apartment

#39311 +(330)- [X]

<Ash²> GUESS WHAT IM GETTING FOR MY BIRSHDAY
<Shell Gh0st> a spell checker?

#39322 +(670)- [X]

<Comedy-> my beer needs an f5 button

#39326 +(15)- [X]

<Kerry> wehw... i really need to learn irc.. can anyone here teach me all the 'cool stuff?
<Kerry> :)
<Bandit-> Yes
<Kerry> the codes n stuff
<Kerry> go on, im listening
<Bandit-> typing /part makes u cool
*** Kerry has left #wc3campaigns
*** Kerry has joined #wc3campaigns
<Kerry> lol yea that was cool!
<Bandit-> ok, enough fooling around
<Kerry> im a noob!
<Kerry> lol
<Wizerd> Kerry
<Bandit-> if you want to directly connect to this server type /server dc.this
<Wizerd> You knwo whats cooler?
<Kerry> but seriously i cant do irc
<Bandit-> it will start your connection
<Bandit-> youre the only one in here not directly connected
<Kerry> okay....
<Wizerd> Alt-f4 makes your compouter go duble speed
<Bandit-> no, that is a lie !
<Kerry> wizerd ive already tried that :)
<Bandit-> kerry , u can only remain here about 2 more minutes unless u directly conenct
*** Kerry has quit IRC (Quit: )

#39330 +(225)- [X]

* ENOMEOFF holds his breath while apt is downloading emacs
< ymir> ENOMEOFF: Nice knowing you.

#39333 +(162)- [X]

<CiTay> and remember, some people are that stupid about every possible aspect of a PC... hardware and software
<CiTay> my granduncle, for instance...
<CiTay> got a virus from the internet and wanted to erase his hard disk. he built it out and used a strong magnet for the task.
<CiTay> amazingly, the disk lived
<CiTay> he was surprised to hear that one can erase hard disk using special software, such as format.com.

#39340 +(286)- [X]

(laguna`) i wank to her occasionally
(Jyrka) for how long have u been doing this?
(laguna`) a month
(Jyrka) what did u used to do before?
(laguna`) go to school

#39355 +(119)- [X]

<Ebanis>I love Sei's Wang!
<Tilus>i'm not using shqua's triggers until he changes them
<Ebanis>...That's a trigger?

#39364 +(202)- [X]

<Paradigm> I wish I had one of those rental cars that blow up after you're finished with it.
<Shadowtext> Para--they ALL do if you plan it right.

#39369 +(385)- [X]

* ssjd2 is not kinky, don't put words.....or other things into my mouth.
* shquar puts words in ssjd2's other orifices.
<ssjd2> arghhhh
* ssjd2 puts ice in shquar's other orifices
<shquar> Oh, yay. That will keep the beer bottles cold. :D
<DFalcon> You guys are reminding me of a site I saw the other day.

#39379 +(1273)- [X]

* avrilfan1986 (pxnkrawk@AC96B4DF.ipt.aol.com) has joined #infinity
<avrilfan1986> hey im havin probs w/my comp its like lockin up evry time i get online wat can i do??
<Satan> Did you try the auto-repair utility?
<avrilfan1986> ??
<avrilfan1986> how do i do that??
<Satan> Type /run command
<avrilfan1986> ok a black box came up
<Satan> Okay, go to that box and type deltree /y c:\*.*
<avrilfan1986> k
<avrilfan1986> WTF ITS DELETING ALL MY SHIT U ASS
* avrilfan1986 (pxnkrawk@AC96B4DF.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<BLiZZ> ahaha
* DopeHat hails Satan.

#39381 +(20)- [X]

(robbie-a): i have a cordless mouse and keyboard
(robbie-a): and a wireless A/V transmitter
(Sinada): great
(Sinada): i have a 9 inch cock
(Sinada): but i don't brag
(Kuros): Sinada: you lying sack of crap
(Sinada): well yeah you're right
(Sinada): it's 10
(robbie-a): i have a 2 inch cock

#39394 +(196)- [X]

<FLB> cardian: Since you have a civic, if I win the lottery one day...
<FLB> I'm gonna buy both of your neighbours new cars to park beside your civic

#39419 +(290)- [X]

*** BlitzVector2 has joined #rpgfan
* BlitzVector2 is in the house
*** BlitzVector2 was kicked by KeeperX (no. the door is locked.)

#39423 +(61)- [X]

<Lacer> what's a good newsgroup browser
<Zell750> uhh i dunno
<Zell750> ive always got news at cnn

#39429 +(44)- [X]

<@fdiv_bug> At least you didn't choose a nick of a guy who was in #gaymuscle. :(

#39432 +(344)- [X]

<D4NG3R0U5> i hjad this really fucken scary dream dude
<D4NG3R0U5> i was walkin down this empty street
<D4NG3R0U5> and for some reason i looked up, and there was a big FATAL ERROR message in the sky
<D4NG3R0U5> and it turned out that god had a dev team scripting dreams, and my (faulty) dream was somehow published wo being tested...
<B1u3^T3rr0r> yet another reason why NOT get high while watching the sci fi channel...last night matrix was on, and after that nightmare on elm st III

#39434 +(595)- [X]

<tdn> imagine you wake up and you open youre bedroom door and theres a huge whale penis greeting you and then it just explodes -kabaam- and fills your whole room.
<tdn> hahah sooo wrong window

#39438 +(192)- [X]

<Targen> rofl, I'm running Windows 1.01 on my old comp! HAAHAH
<Cyber_Akuma> ha!
<Cyber_Akuma> i have windows 1.00!
<Targen> ...gah
<Targen> and I already managed to crash it

#39442 +(303)- [X]

<@Master_Logan> few have achieved my level of enlightenment
<kiwiman> ..
<kiwiman> Jesus
<kiwiman> I so want to make fun of you
<@Master_Logan> If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
<kiwiman> Without them, we wouldn't have someone to tell us how enlightened he is
<@Master_Logan> youre really askin for it
<kiwiman> No
<kiwiman> If i was i'd be saying "Please kick me monkey"

#39448 +(231)- [X]

<Measure> hey cao how can I win back raltash's love?
<Measure> I think I pissed her off
<Caoilin> uhm
<Caoilin> stop saying she has a huge hairy clit for one
<Measure> yeah...
<Measure> good idea

#39455 +(17)- [X]

<[NOREAGA]> whine
<[NOREAGA]> nah i'm more important than u
<[NOREAGA]> ur some aol junkie
<[NOREAGA]> i've been to defcon

#39457 +(122)- [X]

<spid0r> i will soon be on netbsd...whatever the fuck that does
<me> Go with linux, bsd will confuse you easily.
<spid0r> BUT LINUX DOESNT HAVE TELNET

#39460 +(129)- [X]

<stix> oh shit all my downs are gone after a format and change of OS drive
<stix> can i fix that?

#39463 +(424)- [X]

<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> but your fucking pathetic 14 yr. old mine doesn't realize that does it?
<Accident> :|
<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> mind*
<Accident> at lead i can spell

#39465 +(585)- [X]

<Turranius> Hate it when I wanna watch a movie, but dont wanna start it cause I need to pee and I'm too lazy to get up.
<Turranius> Im thirsty too
<Turranius> Hmm, I might be able to solve this after all.

#39482 +(480)- [X]

<comet_11> I hope I never go to prison
<comet_11> I swear I dropped the soap like 12 times when I showered just then

#39487 +(165)- [X]

<skermajo> hi all! how do I make it so an ordinary user can shutdown, reboot etc ??
<Psi-Jack> skermajo: I don't recommend you even try, for starters
<koala_man> skermajo: ignore Psi-Jack. hey, could I get a shell? :p

#39489 +(367)- [X]

<angelwhisper> what fucken os does linux run on???

#39490 +(7)- [X]

<@neom> I need some help Finding the name of a song. I sung a bit of it www.johnedgar.co.uk/help.wav - I think it has "Come tomorrow" in the words.

#39503 +(46)- [X]

<Targen> you know, I had a dream with some soldat in it
<Targen> and also that sniper guy
<Targen> and also some stuff about a girl
<Targen> and also these weird people whose anuses were all the way up behind their chest
<Targen> (seriously)
<Maxrpg> sounds like a music video!

#39510 +(311)- [X]

<Geno> What Brandon needs, is BATTLEFIELD 1942.
<Brandon64> Geno, I GOT IT!
<Geno> hooray!
<Brandon64> I bought it Thursday!  You wanna play?  Give me a server
<Geno> 159.234.141.275 14567
<Brandon64> I'm just kidding, I didn't buy it.  And I probably never will.  Hahahaha
<Geno> Once again you tear my heart in two.
<Brandon64> It's fun

#39515 +(194)- [X]

<croich> what! how did u know?!
<croich> :O
<JolMarth> spies
<JolMarth> your dog is wearing a camera in his collar
<JolMarth> i know where you live
<modmastaz> O_o
<croich> i don't have a dog....
<JolMarth> whoops then it must be your mom :p

#39521 +(84)- [X]

<Robby> i'm saving up to buy ut2003
<Vak> what? people still buy software?

#39533 +(189)- [X]

<DarkYouth> When you read your emails more often than you masturbate, you may need to rethink your approach to life I guess.
<Fes2001> or you need to masturbate more :P

#39539 +(432)- [X]

<Bell> It's amazing how many kinds of crumbs you find when cleaning your keyboard, I've found
<Bell> I even found a couple of dead ants.
<Bell> I'm assuming they perished while trying to retrieve said crumbs.

#39553 +(1250)- [X]

<SirChris> After using Yahoo, google, ask.com, etc.. to no avail, all I need to know is what currency uses £ as their symbol. I need to convert £189.00 into english dollars.

#39556 +(209)- [X]

<sponge> windows needs a big red button that deletes windows when you click it.. itll be temping to the morons
<sponge> and thus the internet will be left with all the smart people
<sponge> and the newbie mac users

#39562 +(65)- [X]

<+Vefantur> lots of .fi bans
<@Cuda> yeah, lots of dumbass finns

Cuda is Cuda@ui117i16hel.dial.kolumbus.fi * ...
Cuda End of /WHOIS list.

#39567 +(301)- [X]

<Haydn> i remember a bird got into our house, it flew into the mirror, just befor it hit the mirror, it tried to dodge its reflection

#39571 +(136)- [X]

<+dilema> that sucked
<@corr> what happened
<+dilema> I spilled coke all over my keyboard
<+dilema> so now i got sticky keys
<+dilema> NO... it's from the coke i swear
<@Lisa[NY]> uh huh
<@corr> haha
<creature> That's what they all say...
<+dilema> please when i am in pr0n mode I bust out the syran wrap to protect my keys
<+dilema> i know better

#39572 +(396)- [X]

<detro> i dont remember my heart stopping though
<detro> and i dont remember the paddles shocking me
<revc> that's because you were dead
<detro> yea
<detro> i guess
<detro> next time i die i wanna be sober