#46643 +(115)- [X]

<Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
<cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
<l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
<cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
<TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
<l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
<TxcPoison> wow
<l0g1c> just warm the important part up.

#46646 +(146)- [X]

<Kobe> http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ :: for all ur sex0ring n33ds
<TMBomber> ow wheres the search by crime? u don't even get to know what they are in for :P

#46647 +(160)- [X]

<czechreck> Well I bribed the misses to pick us up from the pub with a
          bottle of southern comfort
<czechreck> Apparently I made a boo-boo during drunken sex with her
          tho
<czechreck> I told her I'd 'had better'

#46648 +(92)- [X]

<czechreck> Hey.. I was totally shit faced, I could have impreagnated
          my dog and not known untill I got an ugly litter

#46652 +(370)- [X]

<C4> I overclocked my mousepad.
<tminos> thats nothing, I have my waterbed OC'ed, now I only have to sleep for two hours a night

#46656 +(29)- [X]

<Gusto> you're clearly an anal assassin, your gay insults just prove your desire for penis

#46664 +(114)- [X]

<sh-> i can get myself banned, thank you very much
<ohdiesel> sh-: just stick your hands in the olive tray
<sh-> my idea involves indecent exposure and deli meat

#46667 +(121)- [X]

<WildElf> i dunno notpad scripting too well
<WildElf> java on the other hand i sorta understand..

#46669 +(383)- [X]

<|TripleH|> church
<|TripleH|> ya know
<|TripleH|> that place with the giant T on the roof

#46671 +(301)- [X]

<flawed> if you go test drive a jaguar they should give you a free neon
<flawed> as a gift

#46672 +(693)- [X]

<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on

#46673 +(335)- [X]

<bean-> penises are cute!
<carmzz> they look like little darth vaders

#46675 +(121)- [X]

<energize> either we play ghost recon or i make a lame attempt to beat off.. realize i'm too loaded and end up passing out with my dick in my hand

#46677 +(12)- [X]

(pantherqs) isnt there some gradeschool playground you should be stalking or something?
<Gusto> oh buddy
<Gusto> there are TWO, count em, TWO grade schools right beside my apartment
<Gusto> little jewish preschoolers running around
<Gusto> one day i'm going to snap a load on one of their beanies

#46679 +(225)- [X]

<hoedje> how can I see witch hda I can mount?
<ymir> You don't mount witches.
<ymir> Because, I don't think they'll appreciate it.

#46681 +(-65)- [X]

(panthernt) but theres this big black-ish cloud in detroit's general direction
<energize> that's just niggers reflecting into the sky

#46683 +(198)- [X]

(energize) wanna blow me?
(Wickey) wanna earn my trust back??
(energize) can i do both at the same time?

#46687 +(81)- [X]

<Gusty> being black would be cool
<Gusty> you could have your own neighbourhood
<Gusty> where the cops are afraid to go

#46691 +(212)- [X]

<pantherqs> i wonder what masturbation in the dark under strobe light with fluorescent paint on your penis and a black light would look like...

#46695 +(609)- [X]

<beretta> i just sneezed and smashed my face into my knee!
<beretta> boy is my face red
<mischief> embarassing :P
<beretta> no, blood.

#46696 +(4)- [X]

<|TripleH|> i prefer my ladies dead, and just before rigamortis sets in

#46698 +(131)- [X]

<pantherqs> all this freaky shadow government shit they got setup now
<_Tonto> yeah, they can run it from AF1
<_Tonto> kind of like PC Anywhere
<_Tonto> except
<_Tonto> it's Congress anywhere

#46699 +(154)- [X]

(+Ruskins) AeroBob doenst like star wars, so hes clearly a BIG FAG
(+Normandy) I think he was referring to your sexual orientation actually
(+Kazimierz) I thought he meant he was a giant cigarette

#46700 +(532)- [X]

(+Kazimierz) Groundhog Day is on TV so much it's as if the film's really happening

#46701 +(467)- [X]

<datacide> well
<datacide> and always remember the old saying...
<datacide> no cock is as hard as life
<Rjx> I've never heard that one
<debutante> uh
<debutante> me either
<debutante> FREAK
<Rjx> I think that should have been the line in Forrest Gump

#46704 +(288)- [X]

<Swedishfish> he encodes to .rm
<Swedishfish> he cant say shit about divx encoded eps being shitty
<neclimdul> that's not even encoding
<EddyB43> RM is destruction.
<EddyB43> I might as well fire up BMP and draw crappy pictures of a show while it airs.

#46708 +(661)- [X]

<Spooky42> omg i just stabbed myself in the face with a corncob holder thing
<Funky_> hahahahahahah
<Funky_> is it bad?
<Spooky42> its bleeding a little..
<Funky_> :(
<Spooky42> i got butter on it too :(
<Funky_> ok...
<Funky_> so... WHY did you stab yourself in the face with a corncob holder thing?
<Spooky42> im not sure quite how it happened :(
<Funky_> wtf
<Funky_> you don't know how you stabbed yourself in the face?
<Spooky42> i was eating corn. and it slid out of the corncob and i went to slide it in real quick and it didnt line up with the previous holes and it slid off into my cheek
<Funky_> HAHAHAHAH
<Spooky42> it hurts!
<Funky_> sorry
<Funky_> It's just too funny
<Spooky42> i dropped my corn too!

#46711 +(57)- [X]

<qrg> i dont want to commercialize my orgasms

#46712 +(249)- [X]

<_molly_> i only shower when i A: smell, or B: fall into the mudd
<melf> Does B happen a lot ?

#46714 +(213)- [X]

<Duker900> I wonder if quasar dreams in C++
<Duker900> quasar would like try to have a wet dream
<Duker900> and he'd get compile errors
<Duker900> "ERROR: func_erection is undefined"

#46716 +(31)- [X]

<ateteen> somery: I'm a professional Common Lisp developer and faraday-cage technician.
<sklib> if you mention common lisp again
<sklib> I will fucking put a knife up your butt
<sklib> and carve myself a hamburger

#46717 +(152)- [X]

<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:   Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are ingesting tape worm eggs.
<Jouka> Bwahahaha
<Cindy728> um.....ew....

#46720 +(620)- [X]

<Buck> Light travels faster then sound, thats why people seem bright until you hear them...

#46721 +(207)- [X]

<Baker> Can't sleep properly now... was bad rolling over and the missus wasn't there :(
<Vindictive> I wouldn't be able to sleep if someone WAS there to roll on :P
<Baker> Na - its an amazing feeling - rolling over half asleep and getting a cuddle...
<Vindictive> lol, don't know it :P
<Vindictive> Does a cat count?

#46723 +(22)- [X]

(Torben): a friend of mine drank a glass of vomit for another small frat, although he could have said no to that
(Torben): he got 90 euros for it but i would still never do that
(Alomar): didnt he drink a glass of piss, threw that up and someone else drank that piss-vomit?
(Torben): err another friend drank the piss first
(bananana): what the fuck is wrong with people?
(Biggdogg): yea, id tell them to shove that up their frathappy asses, heh
(Torben): i'm now confusing things, the piss-drinker got the 90 euros, the other one got nothing
([TE]Plantman): lol
(Torben): but still
(Biggdogg): piss drinker. something to be proud of, heh
(Torben): :p
([TE]Plantman): which is worse? Doing something like that for free, or doing it for money? In one you're sort of a prostitute...in the other you're just stupid :p
(bananana): you can fuck a thousand men and noone will say a thing.. but drink piss once and you're branded as a piss-drinker for life

#46724 +(-8)- [X]

• [BD]NDI is away: Curling out nice long strands of Shite
—› nick: ([BD]NDI) is now known as ([BD]NDI|Shoite)
(Dunceor) spam

#46726 +(97)- [X]

(sean) OMFG
(sean) dominos came
(sean) and when dominos comes
(sean) sean cums
(BigRo2k2) ok, and what?
(BigRo2k2) ok buddy
(BigRo2k2) you are a little too excited for shitty pizza man

#46730 +(274)- [X]

<RndmLeon> Well as I'm on this network all the time I suppose I might as well camp here as well
* RndmLeon prods Asimov
<Ankheg> good kid. stand by for assimilation
*** Ankheg sets mode: +o RndmLeon
<Ankheg> assimilation complete
<RndmLeon> Argh, No ple.... Drone ready

#46731 +(43)- [X]

<Hunam> waggy: damn, how old is she, 1?
<waggy> Hunam: no she is like 9 now. but i think she is haveing surgery to fix it soon

#46735 +(232)- [X]

<soapZOMBIE> when you go to college, you'll be the "old guy" in class
<soapZOMBIE> everyone will say "what the hell is that old guy doing here at college?"
<demizius> better than the bald guy right?
<soapZOMBIE> i wear hats

#46736 +(-36)- [X]

<soap> people with crooked pensis are innately gay because they fit in asses better

#46737 +(131)- [X]

<Wynn> Hey, my face is my fortune.. and that's why I'm broke.

#46738 +(176)- [X]

[00:49:53] * Wynn is now known as Wynn|ZzzZ
[00:50:14] * Gothmog is now known as Goth|aslp
<Goth|aslp> nightall
<Wynn|ZzzZ> geez.. don't make it too obvious..
<Wynn|ZzzZ> at least wait 5 mins, dammnit.
<Goth|aslp> i cant. i want you i need you oh baby oh baby
<Wynn|ZzzZ> you *wish* you were Julia Stiles.
<Wynn|ZzzZ> heck, *I* wish you were Julia Stiles.
<Goth|aslp> lol

#46741 +(83)- [X]

<stonr> woulda been fun
<stonr> if i wasn't getting raped constantly

#46744 +(519)- [X]

<_Tenchi_> i also start feeling old when i see all these new fangled colors in
           M&Ms and Lucky Charms
<Vulpyne> Didn't they only used to be like brown and yellow?
<_Tenchi_> yeah
<_Tenchi_> these days i cant tellw hether im eating M&Ms or skittles
<rs> tenchi:  mix 'em together and you've got S&Ms

#46745 +(333)- [X]

<Mojo> FF games never appealed to me
<Mojo> i feel unique and smart
<Mojo> and less nerdy
<Mojo> wait i never was nerdy
<Mojo> YEA
<Threeboy> hey, NEWS FLASH YOU'RE ON GODDAMN IRC!

#46748 +(132)- [X]

<TonyD> wtf is wrong with ztnet?
<Pr3ttyF1y> tonyd: blame lev
<TonyD> i already did, it didn't help

#46750 +(121)- [X]

<PureNRG> Is it ok if a parent forks a few children then dies, leaving the children to finish what they have to do then die themselves later ? or should the parent stay doing nothing and reap the kids ?
<boog2> It's tragic if children die before their parents.

#46754 +(157)- [X]

* osmaker wonders if u have a broken software CD and email it back to the 'publisher', if they will replace it for free.
<Gnimsh> Publisher=MS?
<osmaker> sure
<osmaker> any publisher
<Gnimsh> How do you email them a cd?
<osmaker> dunno for sure

#46757 +(156)- [X]

<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:   Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are ingesting tape worm eggs.