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#2026 +(598)- [X]

<DMC[hi]> IF i had a nickel for everytime a black man tried to have sex with me.... i could have built a house made out of nickels in the middle of the woods to secretly masturbate about black men having sex with me

#2027 +(365)- [X]

<jk-> hheh, back when I was on aol, I would go into chat rooms pretending i was a teenage girl with pictures, and when all the guys would ask me for them I sent em gay porn
<DMC[arf]> i look at gay porn while drinking apple juice sometimes
<datz510> i have some

#2028 +(110)- [X]

<_Bas> how come cars only have 4/5 gears?
<_Bas> if they make like overdrive on an overdrive
<_Bas> would you get much much gas mileage?

#2030 +(283)- [X]

<FieroMan> I wanna jerk off but my nose is too stuffy.

#2034 +(546)- [X]

<Brentai> ...you guys realize that this is the least I've ever laughed.  I'm anti-laughing.
<FoxieMoxie> You're anti-laughing? Good, I hope your lungs implode then.

#2037 +(726)- [X]

<timh> okay, kraken- you don't need to know a person before you talk to them.  otherwise there would be severe bootstrapping issues with human interaction

#2039 +(305)- [X]

<hypr> joker is playing all his vinyl from 1998
<hypr> heh
<hypr> or somthing
<hypr> old ;P
<caspuh> hah
<caspuh> 98?
<caspuh> they had vinyal then?

#2041 +(447)- [X]

<Mr_Durden> no wonder superman's ship is powered by the only thing that can kill him
<Mr_Durden> it was designed by a canadian

#2046 +(106)- [X]

<train> i'm on prison net
<train> that still works
<Hooblah> wtf
<Hooblah> prison?
<Hooblah> as in locked up n shit?
<Zebracake> heh!
<Zebracake> no, irc.prison.net

#2047 +(695)- [X]

<Slander> so what happens to all these trout after they're used for slapping? are they in a pile somewhere?

#2048 +(316)- [X]

<Birdzii> i've got this fucked rash all over my body
<Morbii> heh
* Slander takes a step back from birdsigh
<Birdzii> heh
<Birdzii> sore throat + rash
<Morbii maybe you're allergic to masturbation
<Morbii> jkjk ;P
<Birdzii> I would have been dead long ago then

#2049 +(760)- [X]

<Ferney> I think the clog is bonged
<Ferney> LOL
<Ferney> whoa...I think the BONG is CLOGGED

#2050 +(96)- [X]

<B_Spears> Jimmy Buffet? aww
<Slander> Jimmy rocks man
<Ferney> heh
<B_Spears> yeah, in a rocking chair ;)

#2051 +(267)- [X]

<Julia_M> Arthur C. Clarke:
<Julia_M> "There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum."
<Julia_M> you know...space?
<Jeff_R> ya
<Julia_M> there can be no nations that can conquer space! aww yea it's great
<Jeff_R> I don't believe the whole vacuum thing...I mean...that would be one big ass Dirt Devil dirt bag to hold all that stuff in space

#2052 +(450)- [X]

* Arsentia pets his cable modem 
* [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups and string. 
* PresWRK cuts Arse's modem 
* Arsentia cuts Toby's string 
*** Quits: [Toby] (...) 
<Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :) 
<[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string. 
<[Toby]> Schmuck. 
<[Toby]> :)

#2053 +(379)- [X]

<Gwar> u might as well be holding your penis if you're using a joystick in quake

#2056 +(1290)- [X]

<Dr_zapp> sek: you find the hex adress? 
<Sekmu> yes. 
<Dr_zapp> and it is....? 
*** Quits: Paco- (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: Nytefall (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: PyroGX (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: liljerk (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: Karash (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: _Ender_ (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: PyroPimp (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: Sekmu (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
<Arsentia> This is like when the informer is about to tell the detective the identity of the murderer, and then he gets shot. :)

#2061 +(752)- [X]

<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-)

#2062 +(742)- [X]

<Arsentia> ARRRRRRRGH
<Arsentia> I just lost the fucking picture on my Chem lab!
<Merl> hehehehehe
<Merl> neeeener neeeener ;-)
[Time Passes]
<Merl> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
<Merl> I just lost my whole fucking ESSAY i wrote this weekend
<Merl> DAMN MS WORD SHIT
<Assasin> wait
<Assasin> Wait a second.
<Assasin> Was it you who was laughing at Arse?

#2065 +(1084)- [X]

<matts> hal check your privates
<matts> err
<matts> messages

#2067 +(612)- [X]

<tobes> Have fun at work? ;)
<Morbii> not particularly ;)
<Morbii> been back home a few hours tho
<Morbii> anything related to the word "work" isn't fun generally :P
<Morbii> pornstars may see things differently, but I wouldn't know
<Morbii> heh!
<tobes> Actually, that would probably get to be a pain in the ass.

#2068 +(274)- [X]

* Ashboy notices that solidair has changed his alias
<SolidLand> yes.
<Ashboy> wh00p! l8r.
*** Ashboy has quit IRC (yes)
<SolidLand> never seen a guy so excited about my nick change

#2069 +(1078)- [X]

<Daz-D3> wanna see somethin funny ld?
<LordDeath> No. Please pull your pants back up.

#2074 +(328)- [X]

<memo> Kazz, do you WANT your dick bit off? Didn't we just have an in-depth discussion earlier today on why that's not a good thing?

#2080 +(84)- [X]

<kay|oss> i am at work
<epp> hehe.. that's not the worst place to be
<epp> (if there's no airplanes around)

#2081 +(283)- [X]

<JDigital> How has a white girl got a brown cock? That's just weird.
<DigiGnome> YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN.

#2082 +(729)- [X]

<Brentai> Michael who?
<TonsOfFun-MasterToSmallGirls> J. Fox, Brent.
<Brentai> Oh, he's only mostly dead.
<Thom> Hutchence. An Australian rock star of little talent.
<Thom> Died having a wank.
<Brentai> Poor guy.
<Thom> Whilst hanging off've the back of a door by his tie.
<DigiGnome> His last words were "OH GOD! I'm COMING!" He never knew how right he was.

#2084 +(312)- [X]

<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you don't let it out of its room.

#2085 +(375)- [X]

[rancid_mf] wow i need to be a better typer i dont know what is going on
(|Chris) typist*
[rancid_mf] ok im am idiot too

#2087 +(389)- [X]

<DMC[18s]> heater cores look like baby radiators that fell out of the sky for my enjoyment.. i just wanna give them a hug they are so cuddly

#2088 +(186)- [X]

{<DMC[m1ls]>} you might as well shove a giant yellow penis in to your dishwasher and turn it on then run around your dining room table 3 times screaming about how your children are going to be shaped like triangles when they pop out of your wifes pyramid shaped pussy

#2090 +(88)- [X]

<DMC[hi]> where just before you go to bed, you put on a suite and shit, and look in the mirror and kinda jerk off a little then, go to sleep?

#2091 +(671)- [X]

<DMC[mav2]> human/animal hair can be stuffed inside panty hose and used to suck up oil out from an oil spill
<DMC[mav2]> did you faggots know that

#2093 +(294)- [X]

<dr_tril> i wanna be bruce lee
<aNuBiS-> i wanna fuck his tight chinese ass
<ChewToy> ok that's a visual i didn't need anubis
<ChewToy> what is it with you and homosexuals this morning?
<dr_tril> or what is it with him and homosexuals every morning

#2094 +(400)- [X]

<Miss_RPM> they used to say i was named after some chick dad saw in a dirty magazine..

#2095 +(899)- [X]

<JDigital> We need our own Dance 4.14 bot.
<JDigital> *Dancer
<MrSede> A dance bot..?
<MrSede> Do a random Kirby dance every few minutes?
<MrSede> ..while telling the weather
<Brentai> <(^_^<) (>^_^)>  It's fucking hot!
<MrSede> Forecast for today will be cloudy [*bust a move*] with a slight chance of [*booty shakin*] rain
<MrSede> If the weatherman were more like that I'd watch the News more often

#2096 +(308)- [X]

(therap|st) IMPERIAL PARKING is seeking a JUNIOR FIELD AUDITOR. This full time position will require a self starter who has their own car and analytical mind with an eye for detail. Interested applicants please fax resume to 943-XXXX attn: Operations Manager.
(therap|st) would that mean id be the bastard who drives around and gets people towed?
(Cid-Away) be like "your hawt and illegally parked i think somthing can be arranged" :)
(Dane_) tow pimp
(Cid-Away) you can tell if someone is hawt by the way tehre illegally parked
(therap|st) those guys must think im hella hot
(therap|st) cause i park like shit

#2097 +(384)- [X]

<phlo> i believe i'm going to have to explain to my gf that you dont put the ashes from the last bowl back into the box with the rest of the dope

#2098 +(914)- [X]

<digidug> i love it when geeks take every chance they get to brag about their hardware
<digidug> so i was lying in my bed and my DUAL ATHLON 2GHZ SERVER was keeping me awake with its 5 SUPER HIGH THROUGHPUT FANS so i went downstairs and played a SPECIAL SUPER BETA VERSION OF QUAKE 3 (FOR WHICH I AM A BETA TESTER) on my PLEXIGLASS-COVERED TRANSPARENT TOWER WITH FIVE INTEL PENTIUM 4'S RUNNING A CUSTOMIZED VERSION OF LINUX
<digidug> so i didn't get much sleep last night

#2099 +(949)- [X]

<ScratGod> I put a comment by each line of code that says
<ScratGod> x = 1;  // FUCK YOU FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF BITCH

#2102 +(722)- [X]

<LegendZ28> I remember when I was a kid and I was at my friends house, my friends big brother ran into the room with a huge turd in his hand and was like "LOOK HOW HUGE THIS IS!"

#2104 +(669)- [X]

<Tim_K> last time I jumped into a convertible.. I nearly got but-fucked by the gear shifter..

#2105 +(292)- [X]

<RockShox> greddy is pretty high quality stuff
<RockShox> i prefer apexi exhausts tho
<ocx> for cars?
<RockShox> no for bicycles

#2106 +(346)- [X]

<RockShox> girls love attention and irc is some place where everyone pays attention to them

#2107 +(472)- [X]

<SPD-DMN> yo theres a fucking swat team on the road accross from me
<SPD-DMN> im going to check it out
<RockShox> SPD-DMN will be back in 10 to 20

#2109 +(394)- [X]

<aNuBiS-> i like my women like i like my roads... flat and well traveled

#2110 +(626)- [X]

<RaMTuFF> i like my women like i like my coffee
<RaMTuFF> quiet !

#2112 +(20)- [X]

<moomba> i heard that a company called nissan was coming with a Z type thing
<moomba> but that's not out yet
<moomba> it's supposedly really fast but only has 2 seats

#2113 +(257)- [X]

<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for '01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin limp?

#2114 +(91)- [X]

<opivy-z28> black chix vaginas look like a 10 year old leather wallet


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