#97901 +(188)- [X]

<deepspring> well.. my car just passed it's blueslip inspection and I mean just...
<deepspring> the mechanic said that he found plenty of "minor" issues that I would have to fix... luckily he let them slide
<deepspring> minor oil leak from the automatic transmission
<deepspring> bad hatch alignment
<deepspring> one of my driving lights (little halogen addon ones) was buggered
<LrdShaper> bad driver behind wheel
<deepspring> my ignition key can drop out of the ignition while the engine is running
<LrdShaper> right front wheel held on by masking tape
<LrdShaper> but the cathodes and led fans are what made himover look the problems

#97911 +(227)- [X]

:::: Now in #bearcave
* martraci slowly leaves; back against the wall

#97923 +(550)- [X]

<ChangWufei> it was well funny when we all went in a gay bar, they all just stared at us
<ChangWufei> hehe
<loveya> u went in a gay bar???
<ChangWufei> yeah, we didnt realise at first
<astrotrain> what... that you were gay?

#97927 +(145)- [X]

<Gav> Freshly reinstalled computers are a bit like a pair of new shoes - you're happy that you've finally got a new pair, but they're awkward to use for a little while :-)

#97931 +(117)- [X]

<RugNug> naw......just reboot
<crak_pipe> that works
<RugNug> and fantasize about keeping the inventer of popups in my basement for a coupla years
<crak_pipe> hell yah
<crak_pipe> lemme beat on him for a bit as well
<RugNug> heheheh......i could make millions......with a cover charge

#97934 +(136)- [X]

<Nush> im not racist, i had black friends, but my dad sold them all

#97939 +(113)- [X]

<Tleilaxu[UN1]> I am soon to be my own corporation!!!
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> now to start the shady deals and insider trading
<BigSax[UN1]|aboot> send some stock tips my way
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> im the only stock owner... guess i shouldnt try to cheat myself
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> ill be a type-s corporation
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> tried for the faster type-r for the extra horsepower

#97942 +(285)- [X]

<Dabz> u know i'm currently being paid to sit home reading bash
<FuzzBuzz`> lol
<Dabz> sick pay rules
<Dabz> mind u, i would usually be being paid to sit in work and read bash :/

#97955 +(382)- [X]

<Zer0_-X-> animeology - the study of japanese animation
<ecat> u must study it quite well
<Zer0_-X-> yah
<Zer0_-X-> i've got phd :D
<Goddess> permanent head damage?

#97963 +(175)- [X]

<Gothic> I sound Lovecraftian backwards
<Gothic> Cithog, the black cloud of despair, hatred, and donuts

#97977 +(815)- [X]

<manero> so our friend, she's in the part of med school where  you do all the genital exams and shit
<manero> and prostrate exams, etc
<manero> and a couple weeks ago, they had to do it on a real person for the first time. and so she was very nervous
<manero> so she's doing the exam, she does the front and everything is ok
<manero> and she does the back door and she gets through it all
<manero> but at the very end, as she finishes
<manero> she didn't know how to tell the dude she was done, so she slapped him on the ass
<manero> i had tears running down my face for 10 minutes after she told the story
<blach> alright bitch, im done with your bunghole *smack
<manero> the funny part was the dude was like 60, too

#97980 +(357)- [X]

<Knives-> MY MODEM KEEPS DESYNCING.
* Knives- kicks the modem
<Knives-> I'll call the ISP
<Knives-> They'll tell me "It must be something you've installed"
<Knives-> And I'll go "INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT DESYNCS A MODEM IS LIKE INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT BLOWS UP A PS/2 MOUSE!"
<Knives-> And then they'll blame the phone company.
<Knives-> And I'll say FUCK IT.
<Knives-> And wait until it fixes itself.
<Knives-> There - saved my self the bother and money of calling those pricks.

#97981 +(617)- [X]

<Dave2> Had my french oral exam today
<Dave2> It sucked

#97983 +(138)- [X]

<Japhro> cams: think you can try and mention e3 a few more times, I don't think I ignored you enough the first few times.

#97987 +(32)- [X]

<rB> best part of waking up is vagina on your cock

#97989 +(424)- [X]

<Scoteh> Im depressed
<wizzer> why?
<Scoteh> I realised I have more money in an mmorpg than in real life....
<wizzer> Ah......

#97996 +(333)- [X]

<Icedude> you know what pisses me off? when morpheus was jumping for the helicopter in the matrix, agent smith uses a wallhack! THIS IS NOT CS, ITS THE MATRIX! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT AGENT!

#97997 +(158)- [X]

<timovgod> Man, when I saw they said they were going to add color to the $20 bill I thought the meant they were replacing Jackson with Al Sharton

#98001 +(258)- [X]

<[CMF]O-Face|wurk> uhm, I never thought that "I am BREADMAN!  With the POWER TO EAT A SLICE OF BREAD IN 1.9 SECONDS!!!  - would be a valued superhero power.
<Commando^> Superheros have gone downhill recently

#98002 +(25)- [X]

<Ryan> Wind Waker sucks.
<Ryan> Seriously.
<Aduin> RYAN
<Aduin> DIE!
<Ryan> Aduin.
<Jesper> Ryan: You suck. Literally. Aduin told me all about it.
<+Legion> Ryan, you are incorrect.
<Ryan> Nevermind..
<+Legion> WW rules ass.
<Ryan> No, i'm not
<+Legion> Tell me why it sucks.
<Aduin> GO LEG!
<+Legion> And if you say graphics, you die.
<Jesper> I think the graphics look better.
<+Legion> Jesper, me too. :)
<Ryan> No, everything about the game sucks, not just the graphics
* Quits: Ryan (Ryan@cloak-2236C47B.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed (Jesper (YOU SAID GRAPHICS)))

#98010 +(32)- [X]

[+JM_LOL8] Good thing I have LOTS of HD
[@Tabitha] My penis is bigger than your HD.
[@Tabitha] We should all merge our penises into one big, superpenis.

#98014 +(647)- [X]

<Gil_AFK> i hate stuff that works for ages without probs and suddenly dies without a single error message or anything.
<ElctroJkr> like senior citizens

#98015 +(381)- [X]

<`Riku> nighty night, don't let the bed bugs bite your head clean off and shit into your neck.

#98016 +(36)- [X]

<kszer0> OMG what is the teddy bear doing to that little boy 'O

#98017 +(281)- [X]

<+HackerDragon>: uhmmm yeah I had some lube and "other objects" wrapped up in a towel under my bed.  My mom decided that she was going to be nice and do my laundry for me today cause she is home sick.  Yeah I just looked under my bed and the lube with objects is there but no towel...

#98020 +(824)- [X]

<Blum> I was with a girl once and she pointed and laughed. She said "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
<Blum> I said "Me"

#98024 +(169)- [X]

-|- mode/#pwot [+u Snoof] by ChanServ
<Umaro> * ChanServ sets mode: +fu Snoof
<Snoof> :'(
<Umaro> sorry =/
<Snoof> that's the most action i've seen all week

#98037 +(143)- [X]

*** sonic_1 (rick@highlife.net) has joined channel #perl
<sonic_1> can someone tell me whats wrong with this script?
<sonic_1> #!/usr/bin/perl
<sonic_1> for $x in 'ls --width=1';
<sonic_1> do 'mv $x ~$x/Mailbox;chown $x.mail ~$x/Mailbox';
<sonic_1> fi

#98039 +(184)- [X]

<Tkil> chaos_ -- oh... and if you're a beginner... don't worry overmuch about efficiency.
<billn> if I wanted efficency, I'd put bigger tires on my truck, so I could get the whole cat in one pass.

#98040 +(415)- [X]

<q[merlyn]> lem... know any good austin Perl hackers for hire?
<q[merlyn]> I'm on a hunt for one for a friend.
<archon> for a job?
<Stupid_> No, in his spare time merlyn bow-hunts for perl programmers by their scent.

#98042 +(398)- [X]

* [petey suspects I-Que of not being 1337!
<I-Que> I'm only 22!
<I-Que> not 1337

#98043 +(209)- [X]

<Murr> DrForr, presumably the tank crew *knew* how to swim, but not how to escape from a tank with open hatch that had turned on its roof before sinking.
<DrForr> The tank flipped over -then- sank? Now that's rich.
<arkuat> what is this about?  cisco is building tanks now?
<Winkola> arkuat: If they do, you can count on a lot of drowned newbie net admins.
<Winkola> "To report a drowning emergency, press 1, and hold for 27 minutes."

#98045 +(729)- [X]

<Mutiny> I'm having this teeny problem and I want to know if somebody can help me with it..
<mjd> mutiny: Sever the main neck tendons before cutting through the spinal cord.  That will allow you more opportunity to separate the vertebrae prior to removing the head.

#98046 +(488)- [X]

<ROM_Man>  can anyone point me to a resource on how to deal with shadow passwords in perl?
<ROM_Man>  anyone alive?
<\mjd>  <rattle> Who dares to disturb my eternal rest?
<\mjd>  <clank>    <clank>                     <clank>

#98048 +(361)- [X]

<Pinkie2> some guy pissed me off today so i sat on my scanner to send him picture of my ass and the glass broke i just got back from getting 15 stictches
<Louey> pinkie you serious?
<Pinkie2> yup
<Dk__> lol
<Louey> and what was your excuse at the hospital?
<Dk__> you had a really bad day
<Pinkie2> sittin on one cheek right now
<Pinkie2> i told em i sat on a drinkin glass my kid put on chir
<Louey> ahhh
<Dk__> we'll probably be seeing flatbeds with weight restrictions now on
<Dk__> or warning labels, do not sit on glass
<Pinkie2> hehe
<Pinkie2> im gonna sue
<Louey> and now your out a scanner and no retribution for the fuck who made you sit on your scanner
<Pinkie2> next time i will just shit on the scanner and send that to him
<Dk__> ROFL
<Dk__> good idea
<Louey> haha
<|Korombos> Pinkie2 Sometimes man, it is best to remain quiet and thought a fool, than to do what you did, open your mouth and remove all doubt!
<Dk__> heh
<Louey> kor=confuscious
<Dk__> a inspirational quote from kor

#98050 +(322)- [X]

<MEGA-Shrike> lat you off my xmas card list
<MEGA-Shrike> you now on another list
<LatinoReheat> list of "Who to make love to before im 30"?
<MEGA-Shrike> THE LIST OF ALMIGHTY PUNISHMENT, PAIN, DEATH AND GENERAL NASTINESS
<LatinoReheat> so shrike, the "Who to make love to before im 30"? then

#98054 +(206)- [X]

<Latino_Reheat> where would us anime fans be without masturbation? probably married by now.......

#98056 +(802)- [X]

<ironfrost> life sucks
<Majji-woo-woo> so do whores
<Latino|NotIn> but life sucks for free

#98059 +(231)- [X]

<Innocent_ASK> Spike from Buffy is my ideal man!
<BishiGartt> he's the male version of Cher
<BishiLatino> only with less penis and more makeup

#98060 +(-134)- [X]

* yugi--moto[A] is now known as yugi--moto
<Candy> jsfd;'fd
<yugi--moto> hgfnkhgf
<Candy> klfsd;aiou;sda
<yugi--moto> gjfnhmgfhgf;hxfg
<Candy> klsdfj;asljfiosausfd
<yugi--moto> jknbjk
<Candy> lkjsafjl;dsajfsadfoiusafp
<yugi--moto> fm,gnhdkln ,dfznl,df hf
<Candy> asldkjfl;kdsa
<yugi--moto> jfgbhdfjbf
<Candy> Be Right Back
<yugi--moto> ok
<yugi--moto> =

#98061 +(335)- [X]

Lawyer-Acidbuk has 11 fingers
<Lawyer-Acidbuk> 10 on my hand and one....*shuts up*
<LatinoReheat> up your ass?

#98063 +(265)- [X]

<Guardian_Latino> manboobs give girls something to look at when they're talking to you

#98065 +(160)- [X]

<Sugoi-Cless> Lat! what have I told you about eating packets of gravy you find in parking lots!?
<Latino|Working> the same thing you told me about peeing in the sink cless  <Latino|Working> "its fine if no ones around"

#98066 +(45)- [X]

[ LopeDogg ] u know warren
[ LopeDogg ] he always talks about weed affecting him
[ LopeDogg ] questioning whether it does or not
[ LopeDogg ] then he said he went to muyi tai once
[ LopeDogg ] stoned
[ LopeDogg ] and took a piss
[ LopeDogg ] then as he walked away from the urinal he wanted to flush it
[ LopeDogg ] so he pressed his alarm remote
[ LopeDogg ] then when it didnt flush he was like what the fuck

#98067 +(34)- [X]

<aBoijj> just realised I'd set the web cache on my proxy to 1TB instead of the 1GB I thought I'd set it to
<aBoijj> the machine only has a 4.3GB drive

#98071 +(818)- [X]

<Shawn_Michaels> u no, the moon landing was fake, right?
<t3hpwn> Only in the US will you find people who think the moon landing was fake and wrestling is real...
* Shawn_Michaels kicks t3hpwn in the nads
<t3hpwn> The truth hurts, eh?

#98072 +(399)- [X]

<The-Jim> Next time I fly British Airways I'm gonna steal the little knife, fork and spoon, they're like 2/3rd the size of normal ones, gonna keep them in my bag.
<xace> do it
<xace> then when people try to make you use a spork
<xace> be like
<xace> FUCK YOU I HAVE MINI FORK, KNIFE, AND SPOON

#98079 +(1231)- [X]

<@Splodge`> I think there might be some incest in my family because my dad's cock tastes exactly like my sister's snatch.

#98080 +(111)- [X]

Scarface8393: i was just looking at the bottle of cooking oil because im making spaghetti and i was wondering. what is extra virgin? is that like never ever gonna get laid?

#98097 +(302)- [X]

<GodsJiva> cloning should be allowed!
<f0dder> cloning is bad
<f0dder> cause there's too many errors
<GodsJiva> but... if they dont practise, there will always be errors!
<f0dder> just stick to animals at least
<GodsJiva> yeah, to start with
<Koding_W> aye. stick to animals.
<Koding_W> thats my motto.