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#2539 +(362)- [X] (eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#2542 +(278)- [X] <PolestaR> what the hell is a segway
<Marudek> we already have electric wheel chairs
<PolestaR> how fast is it?
<DooD> about 15 mph
<PolestaR> pfft
<PolestaR> i can have sex quicker then that
#2544 +(701)- [X] <bunni> your dick is small!!!
<bunni> i can't even see it!!!
<monkey> because i am girl!!!!
#2545 +(160)- [X] <IceWizard> it doesnt take a girl to suck a dick
#2546 +(389)- [X] <wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi
#2549 +(554)- [X] <eras3r> who the hell is digdug?
<element_a> he used to be an old video game
<element_a> then he mutated into an IRC user after someone stole his shovel
<element_a> tragic
#2550 +(1110)- [X] <limited7> i have for(n = 1; n < 99; n = n /2) why is it loopin forever?
#2551 +(358)- [X] <Amanda> And do these people in the STD medication commercials really have the advertised diseases, and if not, how much extra do they get paid to say that they do?
#2552 +(420)- [X] <circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"
#2553 +(629)- [X] <PrEs_WhO> in 50 years there will be only 2 english word
<PrEs_WhO> fuck and Dude
#2555 +(737)- [X] <@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again
#2556 +(458)- [X] <spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and glasses, then it lets u on
#2557 +(449)- [X] <cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her "dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"
#2558 +(1543)- [X] <McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is
#2559 +(1019)- [X] <gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize
#2562 +(601)- [X] <EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq
#2563 +(867)- [X] <DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity.
#2564 +(474)- [X] <Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad, next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media
#2566 +(216)- [X] <timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE
#2567 +(321)- [X] * terra melts JDigital
* JDigital melts
* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie
#2570 +(816)- [X] <D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#2571 +(246)- [X] Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?
#2574 +(523)- [X] <blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just died
#2575 +(385)- [X] <Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English
#2576 +(397)- [X] <dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.
#2579 +(953)- [X] <peng> NOT JUST A PEN
<peng> A LIGHT UP PEN
<peng> IT GLOWED
<peng> IT WAS AWESOME
<peng> IT GAVE ME JOY
<Amanda> SHE WANTED IT AS A TOKEN BY WHICH TO REMEMBER YOU
<peng> I think she used it as a dildo.
#2580 +(96)- [X] <salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL
#2583 +(327)- [X] <kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha
#2585 +(522)- [X] <Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
<wild-> Lepper_: that was me
<wild-> u heat it in the microwave
<SYch0> wtf
#2586 +(89)- [X] <wild-> u want to know a good jacking method?
<wild-> get a baggie
<wild-> dump some lube in it
<wild-> then stick yer dick in it
<wild-> and throw everything between the boxspring and matress
<wild-> then go to town
<BlackDeth> you're a masturbating champion
<wild-> BlackDeth: i wish i could claim i invented it :( but i stole it from www.jackinworld.com
#2587 +(63)- [X] *** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
<mxman> wtf
<mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(
#2589 +(356)- [X] [Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good looking arse
#2590 +(621)- [X] <Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory
#2595 +(57)- [X] <matts_> Okay! So I go to cnn.com and I see about this B1 bomber down! Oh no! :( And then i click on it, and it's a page about the osama bin laden video tape!
<nitr8`> the video is online? or just a description?
<matts_> description
<matts_> no, it's online, the warez group already have it in divx format
<nitr8`> heh..gimme the ftp info
<Nathan--> how the fuck did they do that?
<matts_> Osama_Bin_Laden_VideoTape-12/12/01-FoT
<Plot> what?
<Nathan--> man. this makes no sense, how are they supposed to get the video so soon?
<matts_> I was kidding
#2596 +(368)- [X] <jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.
#2601 +(478)- [X] <async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your performance in bed
<Violus> woah, sweet
* Violus installs ICQ
#2602 +(59)- [X] <shagie> srt.. he would sit at his table, scratching his scalp and make a HUGE PILE of dandruff and PLAY with it all SRT
#2604 +(369)- [X] <zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji
#2605 +(3746)- [X] * dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.
#2606 +(61)- [X] <BlackDeth> warez b dum
<BlackDeth> go traffic cocaine
<BlackDeth> if you want to traffic illegal goods
<BlackDeth> do smth useful
#2613 +(441)- [X] <kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.
#2614 +(208)- [X] <wild-> i like to play this game where i see how far i can stick my arm up someone's ass before their heart stops beating
#2615 +(143)- [X] <fate-> right, people here aren't running a charity
<fate-> it's one big mental maturbation session
#2617 +(2530)- [X] <Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.
#2618 +(84)- [X] *** QvtQht is now known as TomHanks
*** AMANDA is now known as MegRyan
<TomHanks> {S gotmail
#2629 +(442)- [X] <spazzer> ahh fuck
<spazzer> i did it again
<spazzer> spilled tap ramen juice in my lap twice
<Cured> see and I thought you were just singing along to Britney Spears
#2632 +(152)- [X] <spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on my asshole
#2635 +(4563)- [X] <asr> 'fo sheezy.
<Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.
#2636 +(129)- [X] <shervin> i have installed a Semen Control and Flood Restictor Waste System (SCFRWS) to control my ejaculations which land on the keyboard.. and drain it to the local public swimming pool
#2637 +(96)- [X] <_Bas_> I want to be a database admin and part time mechanic when I graduate
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