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#3687 +(472)- [X]

<OutLore> your the moron that believed us, i's not my fault your tent fell in the river

#3689 +(644)- [X]

<Valathar> No matter how depressed you are.... there is NOTHING that can't be fixed by titties.

#3690 +(240)- [X]

geoffduman: :: watches a movie with 2 word documents open, mail running and 3 im conversations going with absolutely no problems ::
e l i t e m r p: yeah well once i get my new pc ill watch 2 movies, with no word cause i dont have it, but instead ill open PS and load high res porn for midget transformation, then ill chat with hot 13 year olds via AIM AND ICQ... while LAUGHING AT YOU

#3694 +(427)- [X]

<CrackHoe> I was so drunk last night I could not even jerkoff
<CrackHoe> well I could
<CrackHoe> but I was so drunk I lost interest

#3695 +(386)- [X]

<CorranFox> but I wanted to ask something about a certain girl... who likes me
<CorranFox> its been buggin me for a while
<CorranFox> well since last night anyways
<CorranFox> care to listen?
<Slant> Sure. Do tell.
<scummo> "See.. her name's 'my mom'...

#3697 +(528)- [X]

<Villager> i was really pissed off this morning
<Villager> it was about 9am, i had a free period and i had just bought my breakfast; an egg, bacon & sausage bap, hash browns and a coffee,
<Villager> when the damned fire alarm goes before i've taken a bite
<Joshua> ...
<Joshua> you left the building just because an alarm went off?
<Joshua> with FOOD waiting for you?
<Villager> i put the hash browns in my pocket and carried the bap, but they all got cold
<Villager> i was going to stay but the security guards came round
<Joshua> oh
<Joshua> we don't have security guards just for fire alarms
<Joshua> "ya stay, ya burn" is the official policy i beleive

#3698 +(127)- [X]

<Joshua> i'm almost out of money for food... and i've got 4 more months before i go home...
<Joshua> all of my remaining food money is going towards caffeine.
<Villager> who needs food when you have caffeine eh?

#3703 +(391)- [X]

[dodgey   ] wow!
[dodgey   ] somthing fucken weird happened
[dodgey   ] i just deleted porn :|

#3704 +(39)- [X]

<gecko__> i just oiled up my cats ass,but now when i try to boff him he slips away!
<gecko__> =[~!
<Esad> i knew there was a reason i hated cats

#3705 +(201)- [X]

<orge> !speedtest
<orge> (_*_) @ 599Mhz
<claws03> at 907Mhz
<hydro-> niggers picking cotton @ 998Mhz
<jestuh> s00p3r 4thl0n runn1ng 4t 1696Mhz
<bos-> >=[ @ 341Mhz
<bradley> jerkin it @ 306Mhz
<DigDug> 207.4 millions of cycles per second :-o

#3706 +(226)- [X]

<+Xta-C> once, dad told me about the birds and the bees
<+Xta-C> i tried to shag a wasp :/

#3707 +(282)- [X]

* taz chills to : [Shonen Knife - Do The Bartman (Simpsons)] [3:20] [3.05MB/44KHz/128Kbit]
* Jumper chills to : [Your MOM and I.DIVX.XXX.AVI] [45:60] [560.04MB/44Khz/1024KBit]

#3710 +(139)- [X]

<Epesh> I wish I was in control of all hiring
<Epesh> for everywhere
<Epesh> McD's would have no labour shortage

#3711 +(470)- [X]

<ckjesus2k> Jews are so...Jewish
<pyristorm> HEY, no insults on this channel!

#3719 +(246)- [X]

<hit_doctor> Man, I had the longest shit today at work. my legs went numb

#3720 +(206)- [X]

<Scofco> old men are hard to seduce

#3721 +(356)- [X]

<boog> paedophilia is okay, as long as the kid is dead

#3723 +(632)- [X]

<FreshBrew> if i ever get arrested for something serious, 20/20 and Dateline are going to have a field day with my irc logs.

#3726 +(336)- [X]

<zeepe> swede girls are legendary
<Janus120> can i have one?
<zeepe> well
<zeepe> you have to be young and pretty with a big cock
<Janus120> im 5 inches myself, but im a very good listener

#3728 +(276)- [X]

<Slant> I lost $50 to sexual laws in Washington.
<Corranfox> if I have to pay $50 to fuck my girlfriend so be it

#3733 +(61)- [X]

<[ric]> I need viagra just to go to the toilet.. :)

#3734 +(210)- [X]

<tomg> old, ancient, shouldn't be used, replaced with something better
<[ric]> yeh, like the excuses I get when I am dumped

#3736 +(203)- [X]

<Alexander> see, shift, when you said you got a laptop, I automatically assumed 'dance'

#3737 +(924)- [X]

<lonelyfig> who here can name all the punk bands that have won Grammy's?
<Lawd> u2 and umm
<Lawd> fuck thats it
<nXwetrust> u2 punk?.......
<lonelyfig> U2 = not a punk band
<Lawd> yeah they are
<blazemore> hahaha
<lonelyfig> no they arent
<Lawd> they started out as a punk band
<blazemore> michael jackson also started out as a black person
<Lawd> haha wtf :|

#3743 +(268)- [X]

<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy

#3748 +(939)- [X]

<tomg> are there any programs that will scan a remote ip to see if there are any common trojans on it (I want this for GOOD use :))?
<JibberJim> Does anyone know where I can buy big guns, it's okay it's for a GOOD use.
<Eibon> I'm looking for anthrax. Anyone know where I can find some?

#3749 +(275)- [X]

<Mir> I'm based on a true story
<eldee> mir: what book? kamasutra for homos? :)
<Mir> no....
<Mir> not a book
<Mir> I'm based on the Story of Dave. The guy that was.
<eldee> the guy that was _____? (gay?)
<eldee> bwahahhaa
<boozie> hahaha
<Mir> no
<Mir> the guy that was.   theres no more words, I put the . in there.
<eldee> dang
<eldee> he's right.
<eldee> punctuation's a bitch
<boozie> poop

#3751 +(547)- [X]


#3752 +(227)- [X]

<ChewToy> hrm... my girlfriend should be getting off work soon
<ChewToy> i should get really really stoned before she gets here
<spazzer> actually
<spazzer> chew
<spazzer> i got off your girlfriend this afternoon first
<ChewToy> spazzer she's fucking hot :)
<ChewToy> she puts out!
<spazzer> hence, i said i got off of her first
<ChewToy> she sucks good dick doesnt she?
<spazzer> i was getting close, and she told me to put my finger in her ass
<ChewToy> she's a manager at a victorias secret
<ChewToy> :>
* KNG_SNK wonders how chew scored that
<dazemobil> he ordered her in the catalog =o

#3753 +(342)- [X]

<CoMBo> how do you learn new words and puts it in your everyday talking?

#3755 +(237)- [X]

<tyne> ive tossed around joining places like the peace corp and green peace and the navy
<tyne> but green peace is too much
<tyne> navy is too hard
<tyne> and peace corp is hard to get into
<tyne> so
<tyne> my final answer is
<tyne> bartender!!

#3756 +(474)- [X]

<Ad0> I met my gf (which is here as we speak) over IRC
<Wyatt> Ad0: Are you both IRCing side-by-side?
<Ad0> almost
<Ad0> she is in the kitchen with the laptop

#3757 +(533)- [X]

<Xta-C> what's a working efnet server?
<Lord-Data> an oxymoron?

#3761 +(477)- [X]

<[ric]> although.... dark makeup (check)... peircings (check)... wearing black (check)... leather & studded wristbands (check)... mad stare (check)
<[ric]> she has all the hallmarks of a good date if you ask me... now if we could just add a some mental instability and bizarre drinking habbits then we have my perfect woman

#3762 +(65)- [X]

<[ric]> god, damnit... wished I had never started on that gothornot.com  ... I'll never get any work done now.

#3763 +(932)- [X]

<[ric]> as the old joke goes, commodore is so bad a marketing, if they bought KFC they would rename it "warm dead bird"

#3764 +(380)- [X]

<ric> tbh, I would like to know why only fat women who have no chance of scoring with anyone seem to see *me* as their ideal partner
<tommy_> ditto
<ric> maybe, it's my good looks, my charm, my generosity....
<ric> or perhaps it's my hat of meat... just who knows?

#3768 +(-7)- [X]

<changO-> dude
<changO-> ive had 3 hot sounding bitches call here for the last 3 days with the wrong number
<changO-> what is this shit
<changO-> next time a bitch calls im gonna tell her to shut the FUCK UP and shove the phone UP THEIR CUNTT and DIE

#3770 +(551)- [X]

<kolby> man I am getting layed so many times this weekend
<kolby> I don't care how tired my hand gets.

#3774 +(572)- [X]

<MrP-> that 40 days and 40 nights movie pisses me off... ohh can he go 40 days without sex? try 19 years!!!
<ine> i think there is an additional restriction regarding masturbation as well, MrP-
<kalani> LOL
<SprSamat> hrmm
<MrP-> oh

#3776 +(322)- [X]

<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B

#3777 +(242)- [X]

<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)

#3779 +(525)- [X]

<nitrifik_> black chicks scare me :|
<Slant> nitrifik_: There are scary black chicks and then there are the amazing ones.
<nitrifik_> Slant: yeah, I know, but how often do I actually see the amazing ones "IRL"?
<nitrifik_> Never!
<Slant> nitrifik_: I'm sorry, once again, where do you live? ;-)
<nitrifik_> Slant: SWEDEN

#3780 +(404)- [X]

(nexxai) I just tried to light my smoke, but I forgot to put it in my mouth, and burnt my nose :(
(nexxai) I lit the lighter, then realized the smoke was still on the desk
(nexxai) D:

#3781 +(342)- [X]

<@sh0x> in a free society, if you're making your animal happy, why should it be illegal

#3783 +(524)- [X]

(acidxxx) phone sex isnt expensive
(acidxxx) dial 0 and start talking nasty
(acidxxx) takes them at least 45 seconds before they hang up on you
(acidxxx) "I wanna take you doggie style in this phone booth and rub your head in the chewing gum"

#3784 +(556)- [X]

<Joshua> funny how sodomy and clowns are linked in my head... i'd better not investigate that any further...

#3787 +(1411)- [X]

<Dst> revenge is sweet
<Dst> revenge is a dish best served cold
<Dst> ergo; revenge is ice cream
<Joshua> peanut butter is good, boobies are good, therefore boobies are peanut butter
<Dst> i like your twisted logic there
<Joshua> i like boobies.

#3791 +(251)- [X]

<ScumDog> in some ways, I wish I could sit around picking bananas all day

#3792 +(1433)- [X]

<tomg> I appear to have accidentally learned java

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