#6512 +(261)- [X]

<xorg> you know how you hang up the phone after talking to an asshole
<xorg> and you say "Asshole"
<xorg> well
<xorg> in my brain, that has superimposed "goodbye"
<xorg> i talk to that many assholes

#6514 +(255)- [X]

<monami> hm, these girls sure are fat
<QJ> where where?
<monami> can you look at pictures of fat naked girls wherever you are?
<QJ> yes
<QJ> it's in my contract

#6515 +(16)- [X]

<Debbie_UK> anyway bet you dont even know what Britain is you bigot arsehole  
<alex> what's britain???
<xorg> its about 3 fags north of France

#6516 +(843)- [X]

<bus> what can I help you with, xorg?
<xorg> well
<xorg> when uncle daddy touches my bathing suit
<xorg> i get all tingly
<xorg> but the bible says NO

#6518 +(1783)- [X]

<QJ> your grandma opened the shower door
<QJ> while you were wanking?
<knox> yep
<knox> it was worse than that
<QJ> she finished you off?

#6519 +(2023)- [X]

<monami> my boss is okay except for the following scenario that we have to play out four or five times a year :
<monami> Act I
<monami> BOSS: Do A.
<monami> ME: If we do A, B will occur.
<monami> BOSS: I don't care, do it anyways.
<monami> Act II
<monami> BOSS: OH MY GOD, B HAS HAPPENED.
<monami> ME: sigh

#6520 +(324)- [X]

<halos> here's the thing about fucking pamela anderson:
<halos> it's been done

#6527 +(160)- [X]

<CitizenC> The "P" in "#P-Raves" stands for "get the fuck out of our channel, bitch!"

#6530 +(230)- [X]

<Zaph23> I am getting so sick of my underling
<Zaph23> He sucks ass
<Zaph23> Almost every time I come out of my office I catch him web surfing
<biggles> any good sites?
<biggles> i'd be pissed if he was only looking at fatchicksinpartyhats

#6531 +(1086)- [X]

<Grumman> I got windows 200pro today.
<shithead1> windows 200? did marcus aurelius use that?

#6534 +(276)- [X]

<SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention president stirred interfaith tumult when he described Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed pedophile."

#6538 +(576)- [X]

<_404notfound> Best prank ever: while your male friend is sleeping, slip a condom on him, and get one of your female friends to lie next to him until he wakes up.
<BobTheMilkman> 404: or better yet, a male friend

#6545 +(258)- [X]

<Goodlookinguy17> if anyone wants to cyber with a hot 17 year old male, message me
<Owaru> if anyone wants to hear desperate pleas of attention by a decrepit 17 year old weirdo, msg me!
<Owaru> i'll make you sound like you're normal!

#6546 +(509)- [X]

<pimpDT> you need a nice phrase to tell women when they mention babies
<boXlor> "stfu" ?

#6547 +(424)- [X]

<Soulphonat> My cat only speaks in analog
<Soulphonat> it's cute

#6549 +(195)- [X]

* Lemieux doesnt do the menage-a-trois thing
<Lemieux> at least... not if there's 2 women involved
<skidd> so you're a multiple input woman?
* Lemieux is not a porn star
<JayByrd> you don't have to be a porn star
<JayByrd> dirties across the land are getting it at both ends, as we speak

#6552 +(303)- [X]

* dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun development environments.
<dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE"

#6556 +(363)- [X]

<Yawgatog> If I were two I'd try to eat everything in sight, just in case it's a boob in disguise

#6557 +(272)- [X]

<barkode> firewire is the greatest thing since people started taking pictures of other people in thongs.

#6558 +(442)- [X]

<zhixel> I'm starting to think I drive too fast.
<felix> nothing wrong with 80mhz.
<felix> unless a highway patrol officer tells you otherwise.
<felix> like one did to me today.
<zhixel> I'm sorry felix, my car isn't a 486.
<barkode> got a ticket?
<felix> i got a speeding ticket going work
<barkode> "sorry officer, i had my soda on the turbo button"
<felix> zhixel: fuck off.  80mph, too

#6560 +(167)- [X]

<mistress> no throw nice laptops against wall.  p2-233, 192mb ram.
<mistress> (thats his. mine's a p200 with 32mb of ram.
<mistress> maybe his is a 266. i forget. but i remember what video chipset it uses.
<mistress> i guess its up to a girl to know a man's hardware better than he does.

#6562 +(9029)- [X]

<skrike> I think the people above me are having sex
<skrike> either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing with each other a lot.

#6563 +(31)- [X]

<copernicu> Though it is the fourth largest city in the country, Houston's television market ranks 11th.
<WonkoSane> how does a tv market rank 11th if they're 4th in population?
<CubsWoo> Remember Houston is close to Mexico

#6564 +(658)- [X]

<skrike> zhix: guess what Im doing
<zhix> skrike - what?
<skrike> zhix - Im doing the dishes, cuz sometimes thugs gotta tell the dishes whats up
<zhix> skrike - damn straight
<skrike> Im in the kitchen going "bitch you betta get clean"

#6565 +(319)- [X]

<barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless modem, a
sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're dressed like a mariachi.

#6566 +(108)- [X]

<goatbustar> the church sex scandal: what would jesus do
<goatbustar> turn the other cheek

#6567 +(-164)- [X]

(ubergash): i swear to jebus if one more fucking nigger uses the word jew or kyke or the, I'll shank you all

#6569 +(262)- [X]

<skullY_> <-- Feels really bright now
<barkode> did you get a new lamp?

#6571 +(542)- [X]

<felix> eek
<skrike> felix just screamed like a girl
<felix> no, I said "eek"
<skrike> girls say "eek"
<skrike> YOU GIRL
<oat`meal> guys say "oh SHIT, what the FUCK, BITCH"

#6572 +(515)- [X]

(motardo): gay men are more likely to have homosexual sex than straight men

#6575 +(266)- [X]

<@_uaioe> BITE THE PILLOW, KID... ITS GOIN' IN DRY!

#6576 +(53)- [X]

<NMO> Instuructions to format: rip out hard drive, tie to back of car, drive on shit road, harddrive gone

#6578 +(200)- [X]

<sE|PassePartouT`v> i can beat you like sgamer beats off
<sE|PassePartouT`v> and that's a lot
<sgamer> that is a lot, but i doubt you can

#6590 +(452)- [X]

<continuum> is there anything sweeter than the first few downloads once you switch to adsl?
<continuum> first sex, first drugs, first drink... don't think any compare to watching 12Mb d/l in like a second or two

#6592 +(71)- [X]

<desaster> why get a gf when i have volvo
<montz> yeah a volvo has enuf of holes

#6596 +(57)- [X]

<Mr_Bandit> how come when ever i go in the sea it makes me scratch in my private bit

#6601 +(308)- [X]

Fred> This computer deserves to go to hell
Max>  Dont you mean Siliconhell?
Fred> What ?
Max> Its the place where all dead calculators go to
Fred> Really?

#6605 +(147)- [X]

<Lewda> no oral pleasure for JOO
<RB> ..
<RB> I do not understand
<Philgone> oh dear
* Philgone motions leeda to the private window

#6607 +(454)- [X]

<niff|n> why do you have so much porn Greebo?
<Greebo> 'cos i like masturbating, niffin.

#6611 +(206)- [X]

<@meiso> he was trying to secure his server and made the root filesystem un-writeable

#6612 +(113)- [X]

<@meiso> ftp: 80921107 bytes received in 87.26Seconds 927.40Kbytes/sec.
<@meiso> man this modem turbo booster really helps

#6613 +(325)- [X]

<@arioch> the UT chicks looked too manly for my tastes
<@arftron> serious
<@meiso> wtf she is sexy
<@meiso> her beard is pure ripe for stroking

#6615 +(411)- [X]

<@amfeorgmloow> jon do chicks dig the C
<@Jon> amfeorgmloow: they scream preprocessor directives when I take em from behind

#6616 +(468)- [X]

<@Jon^D> I used to pop on IRC at 13:37 for the pure novelty of it
<@Jon^D> and I'm not a loser

#6618 +(806)- [X]

<Jon^D> I had to cat 8-9 seperate quote files, compare each line in each of them to make sure there weren't any duplicates then sort
<Jon^D> I wrote a nasty perl script to get it donw
<Jon^D> and it didn't work very well
<skank> cat quote*.txt |sort |uniq

#6619 +(252)- [X]

<Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
<Jon^D> he's my hero
<Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
<arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to the surface now
<Jon^D> I wish I was gay

#6622 +(618)- [X]

<ScottO> How was your interview, meta?
<nietmeta> it's on monday
<nietmeta> i gotta wait!
<ScottO> How will it be, then?
<nietmeta> it will be awsome
<ScottO> Congrats, then.

#6625 +(179)- [X]

<@Greg> how do i start apps automatically when i log into os x?
<@desnarf> hit it with a hammer
<@desnarf> but you need a robot arm for it to happen automatically

#6626 +(483)- [X]

<BrantB> OMG!
<CecilPL> what?
<BrantB> I just used an acronym for Oh My God for the first time ever

#6627 +(374)- [X]

<CecilPL> I have a life, I just don't do anything in it