#75 +(-134)- [X]
<skunko> well i officially have jacked off
#2743 +(255)- [X]
<doctor`> "hallo! i am reeecki marten! sex masheen! i love all the preeety gerls! lets us have secks! constantleee! i am south american sensation! bulging spaniard genitals!"
#4754 +(59)- [X]
<`tate`> you ever see palm's api, my god, its like they said "you know what, apple's api is good(ie we're insane), lets copy it"
#5010 +(465)- [X]
<clay> SHUT THE FUCK UP, SOLPIT
<clay> I WILL DESCEND UPON YOUR FUCKING MOTHER IN THE NIGHT AND SPROUT A BROTHER TO YOU
#5660 +(377)- [X]
<Sys> I hate maths. What do you reckon they'll do if I fail it?
<0ut_Lore> you repeat it. fail it AGAIN, and you face the exclusion board. guess what they do? ;P
<Sys> Exclude you from having to do it a third time? :D
#5715 +(281)- [X]
* NovaScorp just taped his old 15" monitor connected to his server sideways on a chair so he can IRC while in bed =-D
#6198 +(63)- [X]
<signine:#916> is that the one with the old people that have huge mouths that blow people the fuck up?
#7703 +(1045)- [X]
<Multus> Indeed. And, fear not, a sense of humor be not required for my employ, though a sense of direction helps, or perhaps a Yahoo! Map, for finding my land can be a chore in itself.
<Jolieve> (( Multus... you have been warned about the out of genre commentary... please cease and desist now, this is your final warning. ))
<Multus> Forgive, I did not mean Yahoo! Maps. What madness do I speak? I, um, believe they are called Huzzah! Maps in this land. Yes?
#8080 +(425)- [X]
<z_evil1> what would be the good of a 3m dong? apart from the fact that you could only use the tip of it, not even that if it was in proportion, it would be reeeeal easy to get damaged, you'd have lag problems with sensations along it's length, and it would make you pass out upon erection :P
<z_evil1> mind you, you might be able to hang yourself with a 3m dong
<z_evil1> imagine that for a front page headline
<Bug> tie it round.. get an erection.. it'll do all the work..
<z_evil1> "IRC addicted freak hangs self with genitals"
#8565 +(1066)- [X]
<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass
#11094 +(183)- [X]
<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey
<herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards
#16047 +(188)- [X]
<Concise> I would like to say that im on windows not on redhat...reason i said i was in redH. cause I thought everyone that was leet was on linux or unix so to fit in I had to lie...sorry..
#16764 +(116)- [X]
* ETP runs away like a one legged trialathete in the special olympics of your mind
#31120 +(247)- [X]
<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> pm me if u know some good ftps for movies
<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> is that up right now?
#34707 +(1234)- [X]
<morah> I MADE A VOODOO DOLL
* morah stabs Vireo in the eye
* Vireo (firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Dead socket)
#37954 +(719)- [X]
[@Unknown_Source] : Dogs are weird and dumb
[@djjason] : Agreed
[@Unknown_Source] : I mean, wave the biscuit, and the dumbass dogs comes
* Unknown_Source waves a biscuit
[Join (#afterhoursdjs)] : [DJAngelicon (~DJAngelic@12-231-113-90.client.attbi.com)]
[@Unknown_Source] : ...
#37996 +(195)- [X]
<Soberguy> redhat 8 can't decide if a rpm is installed or not
<toxictv> Redhat is like anal sex - good every now and then, but if you rely on it too heavily, it starts to bleed out the ass.
#39448 +(230)- [X]
<Measure> hey cao how can I win back raltash's love?
<Measure> I think I pissed her off
<Caoilin> stop saying she has a huge hairy clit for one
<Measure> good idea
#43479 +(973)- [X]
Davo: i made a carrot cake once.
Davo: no-one told me you had to grate the carrots i put em in whole
Davo: they got burnt black sticking outta top
Davo: looked like a birthday cake holocaust
#44953 +(123)- [X]
<wolfstg> I stopped watching wrestling when i got gay.
#45966 +(270)- [X]
<DarthSemiAway> man, I passed a church the other day who had something like "Not Christian?" on the top line of their board outside, and on the line below it, it said "Dude, you're going to Hell!" Seriously.
#49398 +(180)- [X]
<Nick> i go over my friends' houses with the sole intention of eating their food.
#49770 +(627)- [X]
* zYgoat announces a historic moment in the history of powered human flight
* zYgoat reaches into his backpack
* zYgoat pulls out a rocket powered dildo
* zYgoat jams it up Mikeyben's ass
* zYgoat takes a sledgehammer and slams it all the way-in
* zYgoat cues up Tom Petty - Don't Come Around Here No More
* zYgoat lights the fuse and salutes
*** Mikeyben was kicked off #Lopster by zYgoat (zYgoat)
#53179 +(1903)- [X]
<@TheRef>My girlfriend caught me sleep-wanking last night
<hoochy>lol, typo. i'm a post that to bash
<@TheRef>Dude, that wasn't a typo.
#53419 +(173)- [X]
<Oliver> uni is too hardcore for me
<Oliver> spent 2 days there
<Oliver> could hardly walk
<teles> lol :)
<teles> that'll teach you to visit the toilets in the art school :p
#53933 +(31)- [X]
<GeNOc¦DE> man ur making as much sense as a letter box in africa
#55951 +(200)- [X]
<Wolfy> if i ain't a geek i'm certainly not a nerd :p
<Wolfy> so that leaves normal or extrovert
<+damadm00> or 'wanker'
#57753 +(227)- [X]
< peter> alanis morrisette is a prime example of why horses shouldn't be allowed to sing.
#58677 +(235)- [X]
<Miz> why does windows messager not close? :E
<Miz> there isnt anything using it!
<Miz> not visible anyway
<Miz> no windows open 'cept this
<Cheez> try killing the process
* Miz has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<Cheez> wrong process...
#63054 +(205)- [X]
* kurt[A] is now known as kurt
* kurt was away, and is back from: life
<Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?
#76012 +(142)- [X]
<SkeleFoDoh> this bot sucks ass
<tony|werk> i wish it did
#82075 +(-3)- [X]
<@RxR|Skitzo> !access MyAssHard
* @Anjali accesses skitzo's hard ass
<@Anjali> its to hard
<@Anjali> i cant access it
<@Anjali> i cant get thru
* TheCardboardTubeSamurai takes pics of the action
<@RxR|Skitzo> try harder!!
<@RxR|Skitzo> it shouldnt be that hard...but you should
* @Anjali fists Skitzo
<@Anjali> STILL NOT PENETRATING
<@Anjali> SOMEONE HELP ME
* @Anjali pushes harder
<@Anjali> i feel something smushy pushing against my fist
* TheCardboardTubeSamurai records action on camcorder
<TheCardboardTubeSamurai> omg irc gone wild
<TheCardboardTubeSamurai> who wants beads
#99746 +(80)- [X]
<end|Anthroborg> those are the risks people take to enjoy quality porn
<Saevus> neg, quality porn sites dont do that
<Saevus> if you pay
<end|Anthroborg> it only takes the main page to get off on
#102104 +(290)- [X]
<|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a bad time
<Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic"
#112614 +(322)- [X]
<Shuichi-k> I learn something new everyday
<Shuichi-k> whether it be about norse religion or how far a man can stretch his ass
<Shuichi-k> ah, irc
#129539 +(189)- [X]
<UGA|CE|UaH> STOP CLALING ME BY TAG
#137913 +(503)- [X]
<Ziller> I'm confused now
<Ziller> am I me?
<Ziller> [12:14] *** Ziller (email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout)
<_jackal> it's weird to see yourself quit from irc..
<Ziller> like seeing your own death
#140756 +(206)- [X]
<Justin> Sluts are like web hosts - they spend all their time going down.
#162603 +(296)- [X]
BOSS: you know this one website?
A7X: thats a cool site
#163584 +(1610)- [X]
<AL> Two families move from Pakistan to America.
<AL> When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win.
<AL> A year later they meet again:The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
<AL> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."
#194906 +(383)- [X]
<sincere> there was a huge protest here
<sincere> i walked out into the middle of it
<sincere> i was like
<sincere> get away hippies
<sincere> im only trying to get to the liquor store
#254271 +(263)- [X]
<dunce> We were doing shots of BBQ sauce at the anime con
<dunce> Granted, that BBQ sauce also had vodka in it
<dunce> And I hadn't eaten for 2 days
<Nd> Weren't you there to like... er, what did you do there?
<dunce> I was there to drink
<dunce> And have fun with half naked girls
<dunce> What... you think I give a shit about that anime stuff? :P
<dunce> Didn't actually see any anime while I was there
<dunce> I mean, I can watch it at home, didn't see what the big deal was
#268803 +(333)- [X]
<Shark463> hey, did u see stevie wonders new album?
<Shark463> neither has he.
#301935 +(1292)- [X]
<Beer^Me> hey guys
<Beer^Me> i need to print stuff from phothsop and it has a lot of White
<Beer^Me> is their a way to NOT print the white?
<Beer^Me> caue the paper is white
#414565 +(123)- [X]
< CryptoCat> fucking oracle.
< CryptoCat> rhymes with horrible
< CryptoCat> I probably wouldnt hate it so much if Elison wasnt such a nutjob.
< siglite> well, at least HE hates bill
< siglite> so that's some consolation
< CryptoCat> I dunno man
< CryptoCat> stalin hated hitler
< Kornchild> stalin was worse then hitler in many ways
< CryptoCat> yeah
< CryptoCat> hitler didnt want to buy Peoplesoft.
#447397 +(425)- [X]
<@ping> my ex was Mennonite
<@ping> well, is
<Xolution> What the hell does being from Minnesota have to do with anything?
<@ping> are you really that stupid?
#448982 +(689)- [X]
CwD | Asbestos: calculus is
CwD | Asbestos: triangle over triangle is equal to square diveded by - y x
CwD | Asbestos: what is z
CwD | Asbestos: youre like
CwD | Asbestos: wtf
CwD | Asbestos: there is no z
CwD | Asbestos: and they say
CwD | Asbestos: wtf is z n00b
CwD | Asbestos: and while youre sitting there trying to think
CwD | Asbestos: they say
CwD | Asbestos: times up
CwD | Asbestos: youve just been pwnd
CwD | Asbestos: and youre like wtf h4x0rs
CwD | Asbestos: thats calculus
#539936 +(-329)- [X]
<darkstar> ball men
<darkstar> swgtlm seeks non-human dick slave to swab bedsores and eat poo
<d00rmaus> I only do sbgtlm
<darkstar> so you only dig single black gay transgendered lesbian males
<darkstar> sorry we didn't match on e harmony
<d00rmaus> no category #22 failed
<d00rmaus> although we got 100% on #23, do you eat dick.
<d00rmaus> too much data, kernel panic
<darkstar> libdickslurping.so was not loaded at boot
#572512 +(421)- [X]
<@roddie> LCDs don't show porn properly because they don't have the concept of black or black levels
<@ecoli> i don't watch interracial porn anyway
#746793 +(882)- [X]
<Etir> I want to see Clinton versus Rice in 2008 just to see if a 3rd party candidate can win on the "I'm Male" platform