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#115 +(7337)- [X]

<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived?

#1867 +(264)- [X]

<mD5> i thought everything on the internet was aol

#3038 +(228)- [X]

<Javi> irc is like a cigarette
<Javi> you know it's bad for you
<Javi> but you just can't stop

#3181 +(1491)- [X]

<jip_> anyone know offhand how to make comments in lisp?
<Jumper> people still use lisp ?
<Liqd_Work> people started using lisp?
<MediArc> people can program?
<Jumper> ..people ?
<MediArc> ??
<drlion> there was light?

#4110 +(469)- [X]

<Ouroboros> Tang is as good as sex.
<ruiner> my sex isn't powdery and orange

#4724 +(282)- [X]

* spockdude rustles smoothly and gingerly
<Wyatt> spockdude: Careful, don't exhaust your vocabulary
<furan> haha

#7517 +(200)- [X]

<rawkus> fuckin women.
<rawkus> i call for booty and get a lecture on racism
<rawkus> wtf?

#7541 +(192)- [X]

< FuzzyKaos > oh oh guess what i got today!!??
< Zooz > Fuzzy - Herpes? :)

#8799 +(15)- [X]

<Adrxelna> Besides, I can't go directly to sleep after playing a game. My heart beat goes WAY up when playing AO or AC or DAoC or EQ

#9036 +(1349)- [X]

<DJTodd> Which is gayer? Pokemon or Pro Wrestling?
<LarsC> wrestling.
<Amoeba> Wrestling.
<jt`> wrestling.
<[prone]> wrestling.

#9119 +(238)- [X]

<Mikado`> dammit
<Mikado`> I misspelled a l33t w3rd
<^cell^> u have brought shame to the l33t community

#9220 +(17)- [X]


#11620 +(399)- [X]

<Astroboy> Im going to murder the next girl I ever hear make some comment about being over weight.
<Astroboy> Unless the girl is like 500 pounds.
<Trinity> I am so over weight.
<Astroboy> Trinity way to be a absurdly difficult distance away for me to murder you.

#13608 +(276)- [X]

<]Darkstar[> Everyone hit ctrl+v
* MMK[TP] hits ctrl+v... ctrl+v runs away
<MMK[TP]> Now I lost these two keys!

#13745 +(178)- [X]

#17273 +(363)- [X]

<0dan0> i have peed like 10 minutes in the last 5 minutes

#20466 +(152)- [X]

<freedumb> He's the kind of person who will wind up paying for this first sexual-encounter at age 31, get frustrated in the middle, and kill himself

#21827 +(618)- [X]

<ChikBRB> My bagle bites tray had fuckin 10 bites
<ChikBRB> they usually have nine
<Guilty> Wow thats quite a find
<Guilty> The gods have truely smiled upon you

#22352 +(390)- [X]

<ignatz> If you piss off enough people, it's hard to tell the difference between a distributed denial of service attack and public opinion.

#24749 +(30)- [X]

<Locke> WinAmp 3 sucks, well it rules cept I keep getting errors

#33885 +(96)- [X]

<Conny> Hello
<Conny> Someone who feel like talkin' ?
<Aristotles> Conny: male or female?
<Conny> i`m male
* Aristotles 's interest fades fast

#35936 +(506)- [X]

<SageChris> and honestly, as amusing as the handicapped are, to make fun of them on the internet is just cold...
<street> they shouldnt have been criminals in their past lives
<SageChris> hahaha, thats the best excuse i've ever heard

#36714 +(321)- [X]

<krazegurl> fuck
<krazegurl> i smell like cock
<krazegurl> i didnt wash my face well enough or it went up my nose

#37368 +(380)- [X]

<Fiero_Firestorm> My sister's singing to her crap...
<Strife> ...
<Strife> Your sister is singing to her turds?
<Fiero_Firestorm> No.
<Fiero_Firestorm> Her music.
<Strife> Does that make it come out easi--oh!

#37715 +(404)- [X]

<zlisto>  dude, I just couldn't make it through that movie clockstoppers
<uk55> I know, It was pretty bad. 
<zlisto>  fuck that, i just couldn't put up with the constant violations of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd laws of thermodynamics

#41903 +(554)- [X]

<Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
<Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
<Denium> wow
<Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
<Denium> at most
<Cassy> a SHOW
<Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<Cassy> you know ....play music!?

#59120 +(282)- [X]

<sgamer> man
<sgamer> i know how pepsi can beat coke
<NookieMonster> Hey Gamer!
<sgamer> they need to get britney dumbass again
<NookieMonster> by tasting better?
<sgamer> and they need a commercial
<sgamer> during the super bowl
<sgamer> at the hottest part of the super bowl
<NookieMonster> Britney with no panties...
<sgamer> and she does this:
<sgamer> takes a drink
<sgamer> *ahhh*
<sgamer> then says "oh yeah, i swallow"
<sgamer> then keeps drinking
<sgamer> fade to pepsi logo, fin
<NookieMonster> Thats great!!
<sgamer> i am an advertising genius

#75357 +(204)- [X]

Rock'et> Why there is random damage in Subspace?
Op>JEDI>Gau> because SS is kinda realistic...
Op>JEDI>Gau> In reality some bullets would hit in harmless places, not everything will be deadly.
Op>JEDI>Gau> meanwhile other shots will get through and break off heat tiles on your wing
Rock'et> what harm could that possibly do?

#81804 +(203)- [X]

<Moiee> i have perfect biceps
<demalavor> only in one arm though

#81842 +(-85)- [X]

{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} soemtime
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} or get huge ass fan
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} :D
{@III-wiz} quiet*
{@III-wiz} wiz*
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} wel ima putt a courq in yer moth
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} :D
{@III-wiz} cork*
{@III-wiz} mouth*
{@III-wiz} pu...fuckit
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} put*
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} gedez
{@Stoner-EH} yer ferkin nutz whiz
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} where idd u take eglsh?
{@Stoner-EH} engish?
{@Stoner-EH} err
{@Stoner-EH} engrish
{+GhETToHooLIgAn|CM} i tink dis es besh.org materl

#99315 +(247)- [X]

<Seed> I had to remove one of toastt's organs once.. because he didn't pay attention
<md`> i see
<Supachikn> which organ?
<Supachikn> his skin?
<Supachikn> pancreas?
<Supachikn> appendix!
<Seed> Supachikn: a 1967 Hammond organ

#101186 +(156)- [X]

<MagnaUnum> just got off the phone with a redhead
<MagnaUnum> she's cool
<MagnaUnum> she likes helping retarded kids though
<MagnaUnum> I dunno if I can justify that with my conscience

#104713 +(148)- [X]

<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<thecool> lol
<hgl> no porn is me time

#115468 +(341)- [X]

<Bendit> damn it, the cherries I bought yesterday are bad
<Bendit> cherry season is already over
<Bendit> :(
<Bendit> 1/3 of them seem to be almost rotting
<Bendit> and the rest have no flavour
<Bendit> there are so few things I like, WHY MUST THEY BE SEASONAL??!!?
<Bulk> ://
<omega> lucky for you cock isn't seasonal, so you may continue to enjoy it all year round.
<Bulk> im so glad you're in a good mood omega

#138514 +(26)- [X]

<Virgin_girl> there is a new killer virus.... i can feel it.... scan ur discs people!
<Virgin_girl> i think im infected... im feeling like that
<Virgin_girl> norton knows it is inefcted
<Virgin_girl> it does not tell the truth

#162487 +(3314)- [X]

<Ocher> hey guyz
<Ocher> o god...
<Ocher> i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
<Ocher> yep...
<Ocher> he does...
<Ocher> argh brb
* Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
<Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz> O SHIT HERE HE COMES

#175183 +(-263)- [X]

<zhirinovsky> do you know why old women don't get sex? have you ever tried to peel apart grilled cheese sandwich?

#221367 +(1188)- [X]

<PasteyGamer> So, what class of character would you like to be?
<Malt_Liqa> Possibly a theif.
<PasteyGamer> Um, alright. There are many forms of that class like, rogue, assassin...
<Malt_Liqa> I'll be an assassin!
<PasteyGamer> Are you sure, there are some downsides.
<Malt_Liqa> Are you fucking kidding?! It has ass in it! TWICE!
<PasteyGamer> Why the fuck haven't I killed you yet?

#267723 +(1475)- [X]

#386207 +(806)- [X]

<Paul> So anyway, i hit him over the head with a shovel
<Paul> and now he's all "Lawsuit" this and "Jailtime" that

#398362 +(3622)- [X]

AngryGackt: hey
Kagato: yo
AngryGackt: did you hear about lindze's dad?
Kagato: ..nikki....
Kagato: you just like..
Kagato: scared me... so bad...
Kagato: cuz when I first read that it looked like "did you hear that Lindze's dead?"
AngryGackt: OH
Kagato: I swear my heart jumped into my throat.
AngryGackt: NO
AngryGackt: gahhhh
Kagato: I was chewing on my heart and freaking out until I reread it.
AngryGackt: jeeeeessus
Kagato: ........>_<
AngryGackt: *flails*
Kagato: what happened to her dad? ::relaxes::
AngryGackt: He's dead.
Kagato: ........

#416931 +(1049)- [X]

<SJEZealot> You know your car is slow when it has a blue circle with the letters F-O-R-D in it.
<Zoomzoom123> At least they circled the problem.

#499474 +(877)- [X]

<chanman`> everyone at school is saving for a car
<chanman`> im saving for a server rack

#576116 +(1810)- [X]

<Quast> bbg: homosexuality isn't a badge you get after you fuck a guy in the ass for the first time
<Quast> or get it yourself
<xooz98> which badge do you get again?
<xooz98> the boy scouts system is so complicated

#580604 +(1453)- [X]

<Char> i think my favourite smooth move of his was when she said in aim he was kind of being creepy
<Char> so he got her mobile number form somewhere and phoned to apologise

#635590 +(1083)- [X]

<&TwoZero> so.. the internet at work died completely and after trying to fix it I said fuck it and went home
<&TwoZero> and ran netstumbler on the bus.. and found 336 accesspoints
<&TwoZero> the bus stopped in front of a church, and the SSID 'satans partyhouse' appeared
<&TwoZero> must be some student living next to it or something

#662153 +(1652)- [X]

<Claes> hey
<Claes> I was just thinking...
<Claes> If someone sent you 10 cd's and a note saying: 9 of these cd's contain porn. The last one fries your computer.
<Claes> what would you do?
* Claes Quit (Ping timeout)

#714570 +(-863)- [X]

<komies> It got dead in here.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.

#764412 +(816)- [X]

<air>I think i'm addicted to DDR
<air>I need a twelve step program

#839758 +(609)- [X]

<gaarie> who the fuck names a lake winnipesaukee
<DX|laptop> indians
<ch> yep
<gaarie> truth
<DX|laptop> and not the tech support kind
<ch> the casino kind

0.0298 20956 quotes approved; 4270 quotes pending
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