QDB Admin 50 Random Quotes
Paypal Donate

#291 +(2264)- [X]

<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area

#548 +(416)- [X]

<freeweed> actuall i'm ambivalent :)
<DaemoN_> ???
<DaemoN_> lesbian?

#913 +(539)- [X]

<matt`> dear god freshmeat looks like ass
<matt`> probably making use of the html 5 <ass> tag
<matt`> <ass tables><hard to read text>blah blah blah</hard to read text><more ass tables><gayness></more ass tables><some gay color></gayness><ass tables>

#1040 +(84)- [X]

<Lou_Ferrigno> I gain $100.000, per month, and i have a z3 im my garage. And im bigger than you, you are subnutrition , hacker stupid

#1330 +(165)- [X]

(fub) I walked into a police station once to pick up some court papers, and I smoked a joint about 5 blocks away and I was was sitting in there for awhile and I looked down at my shoes and the roach was on the front tounge of my shoe ;/

#1971 +(77)- [X]

<Stacey> justin man i want you to meet my nerd friend from school
<Stacey> i want you to make fun of him
<Stacey> i have to run from him everyday
<Stacey> not friend
<Stacey> no no no
<Stacey> and i had to sit for ten minutes watching him show off his dos commands
<Stacey> and i'm like i wanna go out for lunch i have a life...fucking type format C: before i kill you

#3332 +(35)- [X]

<spazzer> i've found out that the longer the muffler body is, the quieter the exhaust is
<spicrx7> duh spazz
<spicrx7> that's like saying...
<spicrx7> i've found out that the fatter the girl is, the more she sweats"
<TheDrip> the bigger my dick is, the more spic will scream when I stick it up the ass
<TheDrip> up his ass rather

#4769 +(305)- [X]

<kyle> if you are aroused by the sight of a penis, are you gay?
<Scofco> nope
<kyle> good
<Scofco> you're A FUCKING QUEER FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE
<Scofco> either that, or a girl
<Scofco> but even girls don't get aroused by penises
<Scofco> at least not MY penis :(

#6242 +(260)- [X]

<_Bliss_> god hates me so he gave me a vagina

#6571 +(538)- [X]

<felix> eek
<skrike> felix just screamed like a girl
<felix> no, I said "eek"
<skrike> girls say "eek"
<skrike> YOU GIRL
<oat`meal> guys say "oh SHIT, what the FUCK, BITCH"

#7153 +(1133)- [X]

<bumr> maybe he makes mad love to the penguin
<dys> Perhaps Cathy wears a Tux the Penguin suit for him.
<dys> And then he "debugs her code" all night long.
<bumr> cunnilinux

#8234 +(322)- [X]

<Ez> I'm having an orgy tonight
<Ez> Right decided to invite left and her friend pillow

#8662 +(896)- [X]

<iggypop> i told my gf some shit when i was drunk, and now she's like "you weren't just saying that because you were drunk, were you?"
<iggypop> and i don't have a fucking clue what i said

#8663 +(51)- [X]

<Renegad3> Cannibal Corpse is good just cause of the lyrics
<Renegad3> i cut her from her neck down to her anus. then i cut out her vagina. then i ate it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#9258 +(56)- [X]

<Murder-Is-Funny> I get this huge kick of trying to talk people I judge as worthless into suicide

#10739 +(7878)- [X]

* Spoon casts Wall of Silence
*** Spoon sets mode: +m
<Goku> why?
<Spoon> Because exo went insane
<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
* Sentinel checks..
*** Sentinel sets mode: -m
<exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!
*** Sentinel sets mode: +m

#11137 +(234)- [X]

<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway

#15710 +(116)- [X]

<Stemish> "How many NOC staff does it take it screw in a light bulb?"
<PetrDoubt> 500 to send the outage notices to nocstaff, 14 managers to
  escalate it to client services and back, and one to change it.

#16196 +(432)- [X]

<Alipha> ..can you fax me some paper for my printer?

#16754 +(359)- [X]

<@whistler> on the down side i no longer have a phone
<@whistler> on the up side i have a brand new bong

#20254 +(69)- [X]

<oz> DYKQUIL - YOUR RUBBING, LICKING, GRABBING, POKING, TEASING, TONGUING, SO YOU CAN GO ALL NITE MEDICINE

#22189 +(122)- [X]

<My3blKa> bizee go get your vacum and imagination.
<andro> I've heards its bad to do that w/ a vacuum
<supreemball> it hurts

#22954 +(1583)- [X]

<Elly_May>  my little sister just asked me why my hair was tangled
<Elly_May>  i told her it was because my boyfriend came all over it when i was giving him a blow job
<Elly_May>  at which point my father admitted he could hear me....

#26296 +(120)- [X]

<Raven> i made a total of 3 total conversions by myself
<Raven> audio, graphics, music AND levels
<Raven> all by myself
<Raven> that was all during one summer
<Raven> i was 12
<skwerrel> was that the same summer you took over the world and dominated Europe's fashion scene raven?
<panda> is that why european's can't dress?

#40505 +(481)- [X]

<MyTh`snoogans> mY¯mom¯stole¯mY¯keYboard¯So¯im¯using¯chaRmap¯to¯type¯this
<MyTh`snoogans> god¯This¯sucks
<Unknown[SwHo]> charmap ?
<Unknown[SwHo]> like a palm-pilot ?
<MyTh`snoogans> yoU¯pRes¯The¯bUTTons¯wiTh¯the¯moUse
<MyTh`snoogans> iT¯TAkes¯foReveR
*  *   *   *   *  *  *  *
* MyTh`snoogans has joined #clan-swho
<MyTh`snoogans> did my mom think i couldnt find the keyboard in the living room
<MyTh`snoogans> wtf was she thinking

#40519 +(153)- [X]

<@ant> With something that my hand spends more time on than my dick, I see no reason not to splurge on a mouse.
<@Scribble> Yeah, but I'd question whether my hand spends more time on my dick or not.
<@shrav> for me its a matter of which hand
<@shrav> i usually have one on each

#44831 +(719)- [X]

<yarokod> does alcohol remove permanent ink from a cd?
<defused> dunno...it does remove clothes on young females tho

#46735 +(231)- [X]

<soapZOMBIE> when you go to college, you'll be the "old guy" in class
<soapZOMBIE> everyone will say "what the hell is that old guy doing here at college?"
<demizius> better than the bald guy right?
<soapZOMBIE> i wear hats

#53487 +(172)- [X]

<JanusLexington> have you guys seen the new MSN commercial?
<JanusLexington> with friend browsing?
<JanusLexington> worst
<JanusLexington> invention
<JanusLexington> EVAR
<Caff> pay $14.95 to browse web with your friends
<JanusLexington> friend porn browsing...
<Caff> it's like "SHARE YOUR PORN PASSWORDS!"
<Caff> "DON'T BE EMBARASSED UR NOT TEH ONLY ONE MASTER BATING~~~~~"

#56509 +(110)- [X]

<MMMaven> I can see the headlines now... "super-modified AIBO captures bin laden!"

#59256 +(-259)- [X]

* ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.GamesNET.net) Quit (*.net *.split)
<DopefishJustin> damn chanserv
<DopefishJustin> they should rename it NegroServ because it never works

#61972 +(289)- [X]

<BonzoBoy> An honorary degree is like a nerf dildo.
<ramoth4> nerf dildos can be fun....sort of
<Equinas> i use a nerf whip
<Equinas> it's part of the Bondage for Beginners set

#62110 +(239)- [X]

<ItBurn|mw> yay tescd cerazeyhes
<ItBurn|mw> crashed
<Celestar|xchat> ItBurn|mw: dude how did you mistype like THAT?

#62481 +(825)- [X]

<haz3l> Anyone wanna do a wakeup call for me?
<haz3l> I need someone to wake me up in 6 hours
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> haz3l: /timer 1 21600 /beep 39482034
<haz3l> really?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> really
<haz3l> Would that owrk?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> yep
<haz3l> :D
<haz3l> lets try 60 seconds
<haz3l> OMG THE BEEEEEPAGE
<haz3l> MAKE IT STOPPP
<haz3l> LGBR HELP

#63067 +(183)- [X]

<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> You know what I find funny...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Companies like Sony
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Who produce the copy protected CDs...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Yet also produce things which can crack it
<@ketsugi|scanning> like marker pens?
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> CD-R drives
<@ketsugi|scanning> close enough

#80851 +(39)- [X]

<dma> I once wrote a program to determine how long it would take to listen to all my cheesy mids.
<dma> forgot the result
<Silencer> ha
<Silencer> thats nothin
<Silencer> one time my friends and i got bored
<Silencer> so we figured out a couple interesting facts about mexico
<Silencer> such as how many parking spaces it would hold if it was flattened and paved
<Silencer> or if the entire population of mexico was to cut the grass of every lawn in the us
<Silencer> how long it would take them (ie, how often they could do it, once a week, once every two weeks, i forgot how long)
<Silencer> and we figured out how many cars it would take to drive the entire population of mexico to the us, if each car held 7 people
<Silencer> or 14 if its a van
<Silencer> (i know, this is horrible stuff)
<Silencer> (it was extremely funny, we actually figured it out too)

#83734 +(339)- [X]

(ohwhatwhat) hi i was wondering why my cursors moves across the screen when i move my mouse?

#88528 +(196)- [X]

<Fark_Ninja> The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if it fouls up there's no law against wacking it around a little.
<Cerebus> The same is actually true for a penis.

#89555 +(1048)- [X]

(w0rd): There is no place like 127.0.0.1

#106286 +(256)- [X]

<Skye-> Talking to my exgf at 3:31 AM  :P
<fluffi> yeahhhh, thats what i do with my ex's at 3 in the morning, i "talk" to them ;)
<fluffi> i havent had a good "talk" lately though
<Skye-> I bet :P
<Skye-> define talk fl00f! :P
<kairi00> so that's what they call it these days... "talk" :p
<Skye-> do you "talk" to yourself alot?
<fluffi> i dont "talk" to myself
<fluffi> i "mime" ;)

#136478 +(218)- [X]

<Nukeitall> Hey guys, I need a list of issues people always discuss but can never truly resolve.
<Dreadnought> whether god really DOES kill a kitten every time a person masturbates
<Dreadnought> and if domokun are real
<WizardofWestmarch> oh domo is real
<Treen> yeah, domo's real
<Astyanax> pfft of course domo is real
* Dreadnought puts on his domo suit
<Astyanax> doiiiii
<WizardofWestmarch> look at all his crazy hijinks living with Usajii
<Nukeitall> Domokun kills kittens because of a large tumor making him think god speaks to him. next.

#171031 +(1200)- [X]

<GoAt> "change your body shape overnight!"
<GoAt> these claims are getting worse every day
<peasant> i call dibs on triangle

#190965 +(550)- [X]

<Emokid01> I am always tempted to mumble "zerg rush" under my breath when I see Koreans on campus.

#264226 +(1253)- [X]

<zN|nJa> I wonder how tough the recruiting for suicide bomber school is
<zN|nJa> 'now watch closely because I'm only gonna do this once'

#300288 +(840)- [X]

(+PJx5x) yesterday u said ur so good at math cuz all u do is think about pie
(+PJx5x) u fat piece of lard
(@OCNoy|At|Work) well you just have to think about it in terms you understand
(@OCNoy|At|Work) for example
(@OCNoy|At|Work) SIN pi
(@OCNoy|At|Work) is 0, because, if you sin (make love to) a pie, there's none left to eat
(@SmurfiCus) .....
(+PJx5x) riiight
(@SmurfiCus) good way of rember it...
(@SmurfiCus) whats COS PI?
(@SmurfiCus) :)
(@OCNoy|At|Work) -1
(@SmurfiCus) >:X
(@OCNoy|At|Work) it's twice a bad because your cousin had sex with the pie

#370987 +(433)- [X]

<+Synista> so
<+Synista> I downloaded this fly fishing movie
<+Synista> since I need to learn how to cast properly
<+Synista> turns out it was a pr0n movie called fly fishing

#395507 +(143)- [X]

<chewy> has anybody an idea where to get torrents of german simpsons episodes?
<Whacko> germany

#700591 +(591)- [X]

Zizzy: The Bible was the first known recorded Wiki, proving once and for all that Wikis are destined to be screwed up by a bunch of teenagers.

#714584 +(440)- [X]

<Eir|food> Y'know, Taco Bell's "Think Outside The Bun" seems perfect for a hilarious anti-gay slogan.
<Eir|food> "Don't put your meat between buns!  Get it in a taco instead!"

#841171 +(219)- [X]

Laggyware has left (Quit: There are three types of software. Free as in speech (FOSS), Free as in beer (Freeware) and Free as in BitTorrent.)

0.0630 21085 quotes approved; 468 quotes pending
Hosted by Idologic: high quality reseller and dedicated hosting.
© QDB 1999-2019, All Rights Reserved.