#1807 +(645)- [X]
<Fry> Well my beard was a first commander in the Camanche Army !
<JDigital> No he wasn't, Fry. You lied to impress us.
<Fry> Bah...I am ashamed...How did you catch me ?
<JDigital> You misspelt Commanche.
#2428 +(288)- [X]
<Steil> snag you set off the gaydar again didnt you???
#3703 +(365)- [X]
[dodgey ] wow!
[dodgey ] somthing fucken weird happened
[dodgey ] i just deleted porn :|
#3984 +(296)- [X]
[11:29] *** kiwix is now known as kiwiGF
[11:34] *** kiwiGF is now known as kiwix
<mightyflo> that was quick.
#6042 +(200)- [X]
<Ichiro51> LOL I remember picking up this chick at a bar several years ago .. we went back to her place, she asks me if I minded if she "made herself at home" .. I said no, so she took her teeth out and blew me.
#6483 +(337)- [X]
<dj_ak> i just popped a zit on my shoulder
<dj_ak> and it hit me in the eye
<dj_ak> then i licked my eye
<splifs> women must love you
#6571 +(493)- [X]
<skrike> felix just screamed like a girl
<felix> no, I said "eek"
<skrike> girls say "eek"
<skrike> YOU GIRL
<oat`meal> guys say "oh SHIT, what the FUCK, BITCH"
#7199 +(62)- [X]
<lilp00t> give me somin new to make fun of u for
<death2all82> ummmm i came in today and idled and u went on for like 45mins. until i responde. then i left for a half an hour and u were still going on talking to no1
<death2all82> now the fruitcake is PMing me
#7469 +(197)- [X]
<gage> i drank a beer in the shower today
<christ> dude, you drank a beer in the shower?
<gage> i sho did
<gage> cold beer + hot shower = good
<christ> dude, this is what state OPs is in, we don't have time to drink a
beer like normal people anymore
#7762 +(218)- [X]
<TFA|Swoop> I hate being on 14.4..
<chao[i]> are u kidding
<TFA|Swoop> I can't do anything but talk in irc..
<TFA|Swoop> bored out of my fucking skull
<chao[i]> lets quake swoop
<chao[i]> TFA|Swoop was pummelet by chao[i]
<TFA|Swoop> I'll start a server.
#7854 +(400)- [X]
[Zaun] Have you ever been to Vegas?
[Zaun] Let me rephrase that. Have you ever paid for sex?
#8120 +(480)- [X]
<DisposableHero> is semen conductive?
<Iceman> DisposableHero: yes
<DisposableHero> (Iceman): fuck
#8605 +(87)- [X]
<Primal[Djedi]> rent: am i in rnd1...my wife wants to know NOW
<tiepilot> I told you Primal, you should fuck the wife inbetween rounds
#8896 +(213)- [X]
<StoneTear> damn i'm hot
<StoneTear> i smell like barbequed eliteness
#8993 +(186)- [X]
<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!
#10345 +(525)- [X]
<AceAway> well later bitches of to the hospital
<SForce> that sounds promising
<AceAway> not really spend half my life going to them all part of being stuck in this damn wheelchair
<SForce> makes me want to stand up
#11444 +(-3)- [X]
<synk> I know this is a dumb question
<synk> but how do you tell what kind of fish something is
<synk> like bass or northern and stuff
#12889 +(1013)- [X]
<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll".
#16807 +(148)- [X]
<mptBreak> hyatt, what are you doing?
<hyatt> mpt, sitting here in my underwear talking to you.
#17363 +(67)- [X]
<@SixSyx6> ugly is ok as long as I don't have to kiss them
<@SixSyx6> or look at them
#22090 +(334)- [X]
<TrutHurts> o____o: Christ died for all and one day you will acknowledge this fact
<wired> ORRRR you will die and be dead and you'll wish you didnt spend all your time in an IRC channel preaching
#25418 +(204)- [X]
[@c-rOCK] no mad
[@c-rOCK] just because you and I and guilty had dealings
[@c-rOCK] we were drunk
[@c-rOCK] and we agreed it was a mistake
[@madog] Guilty was a good piece of ass.
[@c-rOCK] i gotta give him that yeah he was
#37381 +(19)- [X]
<Curtis> whenever you rub it you know it feels better
#38352 +(171)- [X]
<TenBaseT> I'm having a nice voddy tonic
<TenBaseT> when you use that absolut citron, you dont need a lime.
<Scribble> My favorite.
<TenBaseT> yeah. it's sublime.
<TenBaseT> badum dum CHING
#40271 +(398)- [X]
<luva_bd> i want a dick in my pussy
<luva_bd> oh and a puppy
#40907 +(137)- [X]
<trog> one day, I'm gonna find the guy that created polaris, and shove bright colourful things down his throat til he chokes on them
#41213 +(17)- [X]
<JBerg> I once did a project for an asshole I hated. His name was Jack. Project name: JackOff.exe
#44865 +(498)- [X]
#45669 +(267)- [X]
<LightningX> I just got a message from SexyChick1242
<LightningX> I am so happy
<LightningX> think there could be sex?
<Ron-Ton> If he takes his viagra
#49573 +(165)- [X]
Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat and what you can eat is blurred
#54791 +(182)- [X]
<GregMoore> -v raxor
<GregMoore> -ox raxor
<GregMoore> -o raxor
<GregMoore> HOW DO I FUCK YOU OVER!
#58692 +(28)- [X]
<silk|around> whats that site where you put a name in and it says your a homo or somthing
<silk|around> ahh got one
<silk|around> nn all
#70310 +(87)- [X]
<@lemming> i had my box for a while, and had to have replacement HDs twice, since they kept getting errors on them... the second time they sent a different make, 60gig, instead of the 40gig i had before... and it's noisy as fuck :/
<@lemming> still, if i turn my death metal up load enough i can't hear it, and that allows me to have 20 gigs more death metal than i could have had before... ;)
#72206 +(491)- [X]
<@pc|dogg> I'm using a file search engine, looking for the wonderful 6-movement "Dona Nobis Pacem" by Vaughan Williams. The only result it comes up with is (no joke)
<@pc|dogg> "Donald duck gets a blow job.wma"
#75956 +(104)- [X]
<artfag> stfu n00b
<Cap'n_Andy> are you just throwing out every random acronym you know?
<Cap'n_Andy> come on, make a zero wing reference and be done with it
<Cap'n_Andy> say it or I will
<Cap'n_Andy> all your base are belong to us!
<Cap'n_Andy> ha! warned you
#103102 +(508)- [X]
<Taiken> A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!
<Shempo> TIMMY FELL DOWN THE WELL?
<Taiken> IM OUT OF MARIJUANA!
* Shempo calls up Canabis-Man
<Shempo> SAVE HIM CANABIS MAN!
<Taiken> Where is Cannabis man?
<Shempo> Probably high.
#108694 +(111)- [X]
<prence> i wonder if that time i choked on a popsicle meant i deep throated it
#146008 +(752)- [X]
<Winterhart> I just told my mom "AFK, I'm going to work"
<Winterhart> She's like, "What?"
<Winterhart> I told her it means "just so you know" in latin :/
#163052 +(315)- [X]
<@NullC> LOL. so some 18yr chickie that I talk to just called aol support for
some dumb ass problem.. and now the AOL support guy is IMing her and
talking dirty to her and she's freaked out.
#212619 +(185)- [X]
<+l4mby> HOLY COW !
<+l4mby> there's a cockatoo on here selling for 12,000$
<@Phoenix> Must be good in bed or something
#240871 +(479)- [X]
xlegoLASelfx: lifes a bitch
x0xsmeagol1x0x: but if it were a slut, it would be too easy
#255209 +(1398)- [X]
<arsifoofoo> you know...
<arsifoofoo> people rub corn on themselves for skin therapy
<arsifoofoo> "hard pore cornography"
#441927 +(380)- [X]
notorious phake: everybody gets mistaken for a whale at least once in their life
notorious phake: it just happens to her a whole lot more
#635705 +(38)- [X]
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko
#649664 +(965)- [X]
<Knightmare> Well that was a night of fear and terror.
<Knightmare> I bought a bag of mushrooms and a bottle of Everclear.
<Knightmare> Settled down for a nice evening of mind altering psychadelia
<Timork> Bad trip huh?
<Knightmare> Horrible, I never want to go through it again.
<Knightmare> Somewhere along the line I installed emacs.
#655055 +(949)- [X]
<Heiler> I feel stupid asking this, but how many pints are in a cup?
<Swinky> it depends on how big the cup is
<Heiler> Thanks, suddenly I don't feel so stupid.
#680946 +(508)- [X]
SignorMartinelli: how is the weather?
vacapalida: Dunno. I'm in a room with no windows.
vacapalida: My widget says it's 84 and sunny.
vacapalida: ...trust the widget...
#859848 +(3503)- [X]
<Myrf> I was giving some guy a job interview today, and it turned out he didn't know who the Beatles were.
<Myrf> So, of course, I had to turn him down :P
<bozz> wtf, a bunch of people don't know who the beatles are
<bozz> whyd you have to turn him down just because of that
<Myrf> Dude, I work at a RECORD STORE.
#863463 +(2756)- [X]
BlkBlade393: would you hit it?
WordsLikeVenom: i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain
#930885 +(2720)- [X]
<@whm> "A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctors described his condition as stable."