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#173 +(-186)- [X] <AL> He looks like a fuckin deadbeat dad.
#175 +(1164)- [X] <Amanda_> Alright
<Amanda_> Are multiple people paying attention?
<Amanda_> Here's what I freaking want for Christmas
<Amanda_> Someone find me a friend
<Amanda_> A FEMALE FRIEND WHO IS NOT A DUMBASS
#545 +(514)- [X] <smcn> the only thing we have to ph33r is peer itself
#1243 +(552)- [X] <jinkusu> nd-: you're not lagged
<jinkusu> i'm just typing with one hand
<nd-> ok, 'nuff said
<nd-> enjoy
<[dom]> is the other one hugging mr. wonderful?
<jinkusu> yup
#1667 +(523)- [X] (iSONEWS) [iSONEWS] Update in DivX: My Life *CLASSIC* released by MEDiAMANiACS (49 files, 08/12/2001) www.isonews.com/r/?155D256CD=
(`Thunder) whoa
(`Thunder) they released my life
(`Thunder) how did they tape all that?!
(madman`) no way!! stop lying! it's MY LIFE!!
(runner-) either way its gonna be boring
#2298 +(307)- [X] <Chis> how do you permaterm an aol account assuming you have the password?
<Chis> to an account
<Chis> just incase someone would want to theoretically do this
#3937 +(795)- [X] <Nall> type /nick newname to fix your name
*** amit is now known as newname
#5999 +(406)- [X] <bogue> you need a woman ;P
<bogue> or maybe a very feminine sheep
#6367 +(446)- [X] <Dobbs> I went out on a date once with a women who said that, whatever the society was, it could not function unless women were the "gatekeepers of sex"...
<Dobbs> ...so I said, "Well, not if women were private property."
<Dobbs> That shut her up.
#7291 +(330)- [X] <Iced> the IDE cable from the COM2 to the port is fsked
<Iced> it must be that
<NepCHooN> ide cable?
<NepCHooN> your com2 hooks into your hard drive?
<NepCHooN> i ph33r your pc!!
#8056 +(149)- [X] <evilbob> then you must not be gay!
<evilbob> because if you were, you'd be all over my ass like butter over hot rolls.
<McGrue> Is your ass *that* hot?
<evilbob> no, but it has its own atmosphere.
#8814 +(12987)- [X] <Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
#11820 +(337)- [X] <LL-> why did u msg me?
<marry> realy im searching to get married
<marry> can you help me
<LL-> why u wanna get married?
<marry> becuse i dont want to live in gaza
#13603 +(214)- [X] <Sumez> how hard can it be to change two words in my legend?
<Fuujin> Extremely. You see, he can only do it during a sunspot minimum or maximum, and those only happen once every eight years. Also, it has to be a blue moon and a summer equinox at the same time. Plus, the year must be a prime number. The sum of the day of the week (Sunday = 1, Monday = 2, etc), the date, and the month must also be divisible by three.
#15825 +(359)- [X] <Moogboy> That Quotes page is retarted
<Moogboy> Do you know how much of them are most likely completely fake?
<WeslyC> I hear ya man
<WeslyC> This is one of 'em.
<Moogboy> O_o
#20243 +(96)- [X] <boii> i used to name a box after each girl i nailed
<boii> that way, whenever i nailed a new girl, id treat myself to a new box
#23917 +(173)- [X] <Aus> see, when too many people do something
<Aus> it's just lame
<TK-Work> It could have just been lame to begin with.
<Aus> TK-Work: nah, everything is cool at least once.
<xpander|out> Aus: does that mean child molestation was good the first time?
#24166 +(316)- [X] <x182ways> 4*7= 28, 28+2=20 dumbass
#31781 +(-194)- [X] <blake> they used to play this game called pheonix
*** Satan-\\\ has joined #doctors
<blake> where they dress up like orcs and shit
*** ChanServ sets mode: +v Satan-\\\
<stx-tyler> these people at college last yr always played magic....they were like total fags
*** Murder|away| is now known as LoD|MurdeR
<blake> and run around in the woods
<stx-tyler> i think they were seriouslly homo :/
<blake> and hit each other with styrofoam swords
*** [WS]n00b is now known as [WS]Arutha-Drinking
<stx-tyler> AND THROW BALLS AND YELL "LIGHTNING BOLT"
<^TV^SinSemilla> lol
#34393 +(376)- [X] <oyvind> what's a vegan?
<junk> something you should stab in the face
#34408 +(87)- [X] <o_0--[Away]> is it true that i can get myself messed up from using the die command?
<annjo> you might die
#36677 +(415)- [X] <+Onima> ioops
<@kal-el> iOops?
<@kal-el> heh
<+Onima> oops
<@kal-el> thats the new mac error system :P
<+Onima> lol
#38331 +(114)- [X] <^shauny^> i have a prob here
<And-1> don't we all ...
<^shauny^> no no really
<And-1> we're all on here ... that's our prob
#38377 +(531)- [X] <Popgun> at least 24 people have died in a fire in a chinese internet cafe
<Kuss> popgun, they were probably playing everquest, and didn't want to lose their shit
<Argent-> Popgun - how many terminals were pointed to the local fire department website?
<Popgun> they clicked onto elexa and self-immolated
<Popgun> if that were the case, they would probably welcome the conflagration
<Argent-> "De-ah hon-oh-ra-bo fiahman, we buhning up heah, prease send wa-tah, we no wanto stop praying evahquest."
<Kuss> oh my god
<Kuss> argent
<Kuss> that's hysterical
<Argent-> More negatives on my karmic burden.
<ln> I'd be offended by that if it weren't so funny
* ln gives Arg a token asian smack
<Popgun> they ghost of Chairman Mao will get you, argento
<Popgun> remember the trouble you had with Stalin?
#38485 +(432)- [X] <seven> hooked up with some chick at a party james invited me to last weekend. she comes back to my place, we're fucking around, she gives me a handjob, my vesuvious errupts, I'm content and am ready to go to sleep. then like, 2-3 minutes after said erruption, she's back down there again, and I'm thinking "what the fuck, as if, the guy needs some time to recover", much to my surprise, she got it all back and working again, and lo and behold, a second eruption
<seven> so I said straight away "whoa, you're like, really good at that."
<seven> "do you have a little brother or something?"
#40529 +(165)- [X] (Mase): who we playing italinas?
(DynamoDan): macedonian
(Mase): where r they from?
(DynamoDan): the macedonians are from macedonia
#41269 +(324)- [X] <Vis> ill open it in notepad, print it
<Vis> fax it
<Vis> and you can type it up
<Vis> and save as .avi
#49477 +(295)- [X] <aNuBiS-> she humps me from behind sometimes tho
<aNuBiS-> as a joke
<aNuBiS-> when shes walking behind me
<JayWhoa> she wants to be a man
<JayWhoa> a gay man
<pagan> its all fun and games untill soemone gets their anus poked out
#49756 +(-3)- [X] <NiceAngel> anywayz...watching jackass bbl
<Linkadmin> I misread that for "whacking a jackass bbl"
<pantherqs> link> a mistake like that? blame it on bash. =P
#52089 +(350)- [X] <@Zigatoola> man i wish my dick wasnt so big, I get sick of my gf saying it hurts when I slam into her
<Eastsidaz> «Zigatoola» yeah.. a 12 yrs old get easily scared of a 4 inch dick
#71979 +(630)- [X] <Knives> YOUR RADIO IS BROKEN
<Knives> I DEMAND A REFUCK
<Knives> .
<Knives> REFUND
#75382 +(504)- [X] * maria pokes lisa
* maria pokes steven
* maria pokes dana
* dana deflates
<maria> hmm
* dana pbfbpfpbpfbf's around the room
* maria connects dana to an air pump
* dana recomposes
#76964 +(280)- [X] <DJ_Phatiguez> there is a way you can actually do a jedi mind trick?
<cow> of course there is
<@tolikin-skywalk> DJ_Phatiguez: rohypnol
<Githzerai> Why does he wave his hand then?
<cow> misdirection
<DJ_Phatiguez> ahahah i got ejected from a pub for trying to do a jedi mind trick when they ID'd me
<DJ_Phatiguez> 'you dont need to see any identification.'
#82080 +(27)- [X] * @RxR|SkaAntiFlag slaps TheCardboardTubeSamurai around a bit with a large trout
<TheCardboardTubeSamurai> your fish smells like pussy
#82159 +(28)- [X] <SchoolBoy> http://www.fcntl.net/benz.jpg
<SchoolBoy> thats u ppl ? ;P
<keta> yeh
<keta> im teh gay sailsor guy
#100185 +(253)- [X] <[Piratez]> i had a computer security class; teacher talking about sept. 11 bombing.. he goes.. 'you know how much computers were lost in the bombing'....
#114724 +(1178)- [X] * +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double
* +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut
* +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire
* +politik corrupts ramoth's heap
* +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory
* +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack
* +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins to operate on nil pointers
* +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room
* +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block
* +politik cuts off ramoth's private member
* +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class
* +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate derived classes!
* +politik is out of ideas
* +politik :: ~politik();
* +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace!
<+ramoth4> I win!
* +ramoth4 beat C++.
<+ramoth4> The last guy was hard.
#217067 +(445)- [X] <Pocket_Sized_Jesus> aw shit.
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> i was deleteing some files
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and i sneezed
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and deleted an entire tree
#239529 +(251)- [X] <04+Makkavelli> damn it all
* +Makkavelli is back from "Carefully soldering a mod chip into my PS2." I was gone for 1hr 51mins <+Makkavelli> As soon as my dad saw what I was doing, he tried to "help"
<+Makkavelli> His version of "help" was to burn through the fucking laser cable
<+Makkavelli> with the soldering iron
<+Makkavelli> Son of a bitch
#301963 +(7687)- [X] <lib1790> so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
<lib1790> this is what one kid wrote:
<lib1790> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
<lib1790>As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
<lib1790> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
<lib1790>So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
<liv1790>Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
<lib1790>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
<lib1790> the kid was the only one who got credit
#337079 +(1707)- [X] <IAX> You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.
#375581 +(1137)- [X] DaLady Firestorm: hm... nother random question: if you could do one video game character, who would it be
DerBrystar522666: now that is a tough cookie
DaLady Firestorm: :-P
DerBrystar522666: First thought is Max Payne
DaLady Firestorm: lol
DerBrystar522666: second thought is Justin from Grandia. Or maybe Roman from Armed and Dangerous
DerBrystar522666: another thought is the Master Chief
DaLady Firestorm: so, I ask which video game character you'd have sex with, and all your choices are men... :-P
DerBrystar522666: oh... shit!
DerBrystar522666: I read that one completely wrong
#513920 +(285)- [X] <PO_Dorn> Hey, those of you familiar with iPod's -- how do you put text files onto them?
<Xearz|away> Magic marker?
#603825 +(1923)- [X] <OmegaHedgehog> Haha, a very funny thing happened to my cousin right before Christmas
<OmegaHedgehog> My cousin was watching South Park with me, something he really isn't supposed to be doing
<OmegaHedgehog> The episode where Cartman thinks a dildo is a sports watch was on
<OmegaHedgehog> So he goes and writes down 'dildo' on his list to Santa
<OmegaHedgehog> His dad goes and reads it and freaks out, and goes up to ask him where he heard what a dildo was
<OmegaHedgehog> He replies with "I heard Cartman talk about it on TV. It's something like a sports watch, right?"
<OmegaHedgehog> So his dad (my uncle) tells him it's a chocolate chip cookie, and asks my aunt to make him some
<OmegaHedgehog> So the next day he goes to school, and here's the best part
<OmegaHedgehog> He gets up in front of the whole class and tells them about how his mom gave him her biggest dildos and how yummy they were
#714971 +(-889)- [X] Nolano so this guy gets home
Nolano and his wife tells him that his son got caught having sex with the teacher
Nolano and so she tells him to go scold him
Nolano so they go outside and he says
Nolano "son, U'm really not angry with you
Nolano In fact, I'm damned proud.
Nolano But you need to pretend I'm mad
Nolano After this, we're gonna go down to the bike shop and buy you a new bike
Nolano So just look like your ashamed
Nolano So they go down to the bike shop
Nolano get the bike
Nolano and he says to his son
Nolano "Now, do you want to ride it home, or just put it in the truck
Nolano And the son says
Nolano "well dad, lets put it in the truck. My ass is still sore."
#768024 +(937)- [X] <rabbit> rimming is freaking distgusting
<rabbit> i tried it once with my ex
<rabbit> and she farted in my mouth
<rabbit> and i puked on her ass
<rabbit> never again
#803557 +(1586)- [X] <svarog>You know, the only good thing about Vista
<svarog>Is that even the viruses have compatibility issues.
#875656 +(-1752)- [X] <Zuuzou> hello everyone
<pronto> hi, im masturbating
<pronto> how are you?
* coldvodka kills a kitten
* pronto eats that kitten
<coldvodka> cat, the other white meat
<pronto> baby, the other other white meat
#918366 +(1674)- [X] <sje46> I avoid sex the same way I avoid bullets
<sje46> I haven't had the chance to
#920525 +(1581)- [X] <jaffa> think of the children!
<bobf> oh gimme a break, I've spent *hours* today thinking of the children, my wrist is too sore to do it any longer
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