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#1525 +(197)- [X]

(JazzSax) tim likes 8 year old girls
(JazzSax) he looks sooooo big in their hands.
(JazzSax) they like picture books
(tiko) rhonda: Think of me more as a childhood educator.
(dev-) um, I don't think sex ed lessons aren't supposed to be in the back of a white van

#1641 +(418)- [X]

[tonsai] i once bought a non-lubricated mint condom just to taste it.

#2201 +(308)- [X]

<Guilty> I see, your ignorance expands far beyond ATI video cards

#2316 +(235)- [X]

<sceptre70> anybody here know how i can get laid or eat out a pussy without spending money msg me

#2515 +(1263)- [X]

<ckx> hrm does anybody else ever think "yep... the internet... vast information and opportunities at my disposal..."
<ckx> and then just sit at the search engine
<ckx> :/

#2523 +(909)- [X]

<berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
<berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
<merkaba> thats pretty good berz
<berzerk0r> i like it
<MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme

#3000 +(142)- [X]

*** madwoota changes topic to 'Synoptica needs a dick slapped against his forehead.'
<incorrect> that an offer woota?

#3243 +(295)- [X]

* yossarian doesn't have a middle name
<yossarian> i was going to press charges against my folks for circumcising me anyway, i might as well throw in "lack of names"

#9322 +(12622)- [X]

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> |    .
<Ouroboros> .    |
<tag> |  .
<Ouroboros>    . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros>      | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

#9417 +(119)- [X]

(Psy`): Skins tell crespo when he comes back
(@Skins): hopefully he has brains to read topic
(@Skins): actually i best wait

#10380 +(157)- [X]

<@cloudchild> if i wanted to drink the blood from a horned creature, i would've went after bob dole
<@DarkDread> I just thought those were really large ears.
<@cloudchild> nope horns.  and he hides his tail well...but you can see his hoofed feet if the camera angle is right
<@cloudchild> "I'm bob dole!  i kill virgins and drink the blood of the pope!"
<@DarkDread> what's so bad about that?
<@cloudchild> nothin.

#12299 +(1238)- [X]

<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!

#16387 +(92)- [X]

<@MousePad> Mainframes never forget ;)

#16977 +(723)- [X]

<Uzzie> i'm sueing herbal essences
<Uzzie> i didn't get orgasms

#20071 +(536)- [X]

* Doughboy ponders
* Beryllium contemplates
* Doughboy slips Beryllium a penny
* Beryllium makes a template of the coin
* Doughboy turns Beryllium in for counterfiting
<Beryllium> I just wanted to open-source it! Money was meant to be free!

#22177 +(188)- [X]

<RedXIII> I'm thinking of becoming a health inspector :o
<RedXIII> "there's a 20 in this for you if you let that whole cockroach thing slide"
<RedXIII> "vishbar, you drive a hard bargain"

#23843 +(299)- [X]

<Weng> If one were to download every piece of porn on the internet, paysites and all, and remove the duplicates, how many 120 gig hard drives would he have to span?
<Cray0la> hmm
<NaiWiste> a lot
<Weng> including gay, kiddie, fetish and assorted other disgusting variations
<NaiWiste> i'de say. at least 200gb for kiddie pr0n
<Weng> only 200?
<Snickerdo> Wang: Maxtor and WD would get into a bidding war over you, that's how much.
<Weng> Cool. Time to put this 56k pipe to work

#26999 +(23)- [X]

<+MaNiAk> she cant use stuff like
<+MaNiAk> webcams
<+MaNiAk> since she has win95
<+Yamatto> why does your mom wanna be on webcam?
<+Munkey> lol
<+OGE> *coughcamwhorecough*
<@Magus> eww
<+MaNiAk> fuck you oge and i hope you balls rot off

#31543 +(532)- [X]

<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes

#35522 +(748)- [X]

<_rm> xp is great
<_rm> better than fucking me or 98

#36514 +(639)- [X]

<dOink> brb gotta drop the kids off at the pool
<dOink> i mean... i gotta shit
dOink (dOink@vw27711.pacific.net.au) is now known as dOi[fOOd]
<logicalentity> wtf?!
<logicalentity> food?!
<logicalentity> I thought...
* logicalentity runs away screaming

#36672 +(971)- [X]

<Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
<Ramza> and don't say because of windows
<Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown Host"?
<Ramza> yes
<Cyan683> .....
<Cyan683> YES IS NOT AN ANSWER TO "A OR B?"
* Cyan683 sets mode: +i
* Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham!    --  Kibou to Hikari no script)
* Cyan683 sets mode: -i
* Ramza (spoon@anandtech.com) has joined #starmen
<Ramza> no?

#36736 +(89)- [X]

<kitteh> new vanilla cock
<kitteh> cock!@?!@
<`e|mmaS> BAHAHHA
<kitteh> COKE

#39142 +(235)- [X]

<Cornell> damn I wish I could have gone to my friends summer camp.. 9 guys my age, 18 girls, and another 18 or so a year younger
<Cornell> *18 or so girls
<Beoulve> Dude.
<Beoulve> You'd still be a virgin in the end.
<Cornell> most likely.
<Cornell> but still, you knever know, and think of all the possibilities...
<Tarl> Yeah..
<Beoulve> It's possible that you'd die.
<Beoulve> Horribly.
<Tarl> "Hey <Insert cornellmun's name here>! Could you go to the convienience store and pick up some more condoms for us? Thanks!"

#44868 +(298)- [X]

<|-|LoD|-|> What website?
<danno> one of my side employments
<danno> redesigning the website for a dance studio
<danno> my girlfriend is a teacher there
<|-|LoD|-|> ooh
<|-|LoD|-|> Dancers are flexible ^_^
<danno> ya
<danno> but they can also kick hard >_<

#46593 +(361)- [X]

<kmad> ppl should stop using worn-out cliches because they're not funny anymore
<}}T-DuB--> is that your final answer?

#49528 +(96)- [X]

<@Skute> so what is elf doing going out with a 14 year old??
<+Rebs|busy> having a good time it seems

#51038 +(161)- [X]

<Really_Stoned> why is it when you buy a new hd and they tell you, that you can never fell the sob up in about 2 weeks your deleting stuff on it just to make space
<zvxrfpu> because data expands to fit the space available.
<dfwdaddy> so do warez and porn.
<dfwdaddy> you didn't make your requirements clear to the salesperson, clearly.
<Really_Stoned> i actually dont have any porn on any of my computers now cause it takes up to much space
<dfwdaddy> when you walked into compusa and said 'where are your harddrivez' he didn't really hear the Z

#54134 +(207)- [X]

<Kalony> i thought it was some cool hand of fate deal or something
<dredg> fate needs to deal me a sandwich
<Kalony> fate could deal me a hand job too
<Kalony> preferably after washing its hands
<dredg> and then washing its hands before it made my sandwich

#55453 +(178)- [X]

<N1k1tA> i can blow a perfect 2600hz pitch with my ass
<Nab> heh
<N1k1tA> the goatse man is not gay, he is a phreaker

#55876 +(607)- [X]

* saxxonpike has joined #wtf
<gt64> i wanna suck some DICK
<saxxonpike> wow i like this channel already

#76049 +(253)- [X]

<Castle> To drive a cab in NYC, you have to get at least a B in Crazy Taxi

#82196 +(177)- [X]

* Avie|work tabs back in *
<Avie|work> what are you _talking_ about?
<ithil> I started with 22 as the lowest possible base, got 210, added 9, noticed 219 was a factor of 3 (216 + 3), and realized it was going to stay that way. :P
<Xrtsys> Wait.  The three rule breaks down in non-/10 bases.
<DND> virgin girls are cool
* PxM watches Avie tab back out
<Avie|work> some people are talking about virgins, some people are talking about math, someone said something about God, and _I_ thought you were still talking about typology.

#96067 +(347)- [X]

<akim> man, i fucking hate my comtech teacher. he's always riding my ass about something
<akim> i'd like to slap him around with his stupid skullcap
<goojoe> oh is that the uber-jew teacher?
<akim> yeah
<akim> im starting to think it has something to do with the fact that my last name is auschwitz...
<mfer> ahahahahahahahahah
<mfer> i mean.. yeah man, that sucks
<akim> :/

#105847 +(1138)- [X]

<three> why the FUCK do we say TUNA FISH
<three> we don't say CHICKEN BIRD

#117673 +(349)- [X]

<jgannon> Quicktime 0wnz... if you have a Mac. :-)
<PatrickD> so where can I go to download a Mac? ;-)
<jgannon> PatrickD: www.goatse.cx
<jgannon> Wow... I haven't said THAT in a long time.
<PatrickD> somehow that version of the Mac never worked well for me
<jgannon> Yeah... too many wide open ports.

#140675 +(789)- [X]

<RogueFoxx> I'm going to go outside
<RogueFoxx> where no nerd has gone before
<RogueFoxx> pray for me

#189375 +(519)- [X]

--> Colt (~Colt@*********.*******.net) has joined #lobby
<Colt> ............................
<Colt> ...............
<Colt> .............
<Colt> .
<Alek> .......................
<Alek> ...........
<Alek> ..
<Colt> ...
<edisk> what is this, some kind of lame winamp visualization?

#213586 +(1698)- [X]

#218865 +(566)- [X]

<Macavity> Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poems write you.
<Costilled> next time please just link the bash quote
<|Wolf|> my ass is red, my balls are blue, you read bash.org, I DO TOO!

#280918 +(415)- [X]

<Borgis> I think there's air in the pipes in my house
<Borgis> Every time you turn the tap on, the water heater outside makes this loud 'BBBRRRAAAAPPPPP' noise
<Uric> yea
<Uric> that happened at my old house
<Uric> I dont know what it is
<Borgis> Your old house didn't explode or anything did it?

#291648 +(660)- [X]

<icekickr> i think i made my mom wonder why she ever had me
<icekickr> she told me she was going to a couples shower
<icekickr> so i said, "oh a gangbang"
<icekickr> i guess its times like that

#304653 +(1410)- [X]

<Lurker> one time my mom fell asleep on the couch, no joke, I switched it to a porn and started fwappin it. I later found out she wasn't asleep
<Lurker> :(
<Dan> your kidding right?
<Lurker> no

#386538 +(273)- [X]

<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
<simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
<simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap
<simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone...
<simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous.

#395867 +(567)- [X]

<Stryst> DSP-: You're an idiot, aren't you?
<DSP-> Stryst: only on days that end with a "y"
<Stryst> DSP-: In your world all days must end in 'y'.
<Stryst> Go away moron.

#537199 +(415)- [X]

<Koentje3> There are 2 secrets to follow if you want to live a succesfull life
<Koentje3> Rule #1: Don't tell all ur secrets

#625959 +(629)- [X]

* McPierce once wrote a webserver in VB that was more powerful than apache.
< bkjones> I once coded an operating more powerful than windows using PHP  while standing on my head and driving a car.
< ScottCh> I once mistyped a command in emacs, and made a more powerful webserver than IIS

#646624 +(411)- [X]

t903576: When I got arrested my dad told me "Youre lucky there arent any "doctors" around here that will perform 72nd trimester abortions"!

#790334 +(649)- [X]

crwuidth: It's going to be hilarious if i ever live long enough to have grandchildren.
crwuidth: "Wait, Gramps, so you guys used to drink ethyl alcohol? Isn't that what's in jet fuel?" "Yep. Great stuff, that. Shame they banned it when the synthetic stuff got made." "Wasn't it bad for you, drinking jet fuel?" "Made you feel like hell the next morning if you got hold of too much, that's for sure."
crwuidth: they may be psychics and cyborgs and shit, but we are going to be hardcore in ways our grandkids could never dream of being.

#824171 +(1710)- [X]

drool: i did a bit of an audit one month and discovered i had spent $600 on alcohol so i gave it up
drool: the auditing, not the alcohol

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