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#1098 +(373)- [X]

<brad> anyone know where i can find a hitman?
<maff> www.amihitmanornot.com

#1487 +(229)- [X]

<`TiGgEr`> fuck u need a dvd drive to rip dvd's thats what the program says
<`TiGgEr`> alls ya want is to put a rented dvd in to ripp it and watch it later but no u need the fuckn dvd drive

#1837 +(237)- [X]

<barkode> you don't even want to be in the same area code as me after indian  food

#2907 +(309)- [X]

<Berzerker> hey
<Berzerker> you hear about the new game they play at the white house?
<Berzerker> swallow the leader.

#3134 +(1358)- [X]

<friedegg>          _.---._    /\
<friedegg>       ./'       "--`//
<friedegg>     ./              o
<friedegg>   ././  )______   __
<friedegg> ./   / /     | |   7
<friedegg>       "     "    "  "
<friedegg>          _.---._    /\
<friedegg>       ./'       "--`//
<friedegg>     ./              o
<friedegg>   ././  )______   __
<friedegg> ./   / /     | |   7
<friedegg>       "     "    "  "
<b|ubeard> eek
<friedegg> shhh
<friedegg> i'm observing wildlife

#4314 +(41)- [X]

<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks
<madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant even get my panties off in here'

#6357 +(193)- [X]

<UrMomsUnt>   U cant ban me .. I'm telnet irc
<paisley> Alrighty.

#7133 +(397)- [X]

<Rasputin> eiiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> eiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> we won't be leavin' til we get some pus-sy sooooooo
<CrashCat> i'm not complainin' but shut up or I'll beat your brain in

#7682 +(126)- [X]

<landen:#math> It was started by Carl Sagan. For astronomers there is not a lot of difference between 10^9 and 10^12.
<asphyxia:#math> yeah, only three zeros

#8632 +(99)- [X]

<@Lum_> 128 mb is enough
<@Lum_> it's fucking enough for microsoft dev studio
<@da_slog> NO IT ISNT STFU NEWB
<@Lum_> I think it's enough for my TANK GAME

#9639 +(110)- [X]

<tigerbot_hesh> "Knuckles of Fury" on amazon? heh heh
<MikeyPain> I actually got mine in the mail from him

<MikeyPain> some of the pages were stuck together though

#10141 +(41)- [X]

<Mr_CAD> let's try a different encoding..
<Mr_CAD> hehe ANSI
<Mr_CAD> !translate en_zh test
<CCU-Bot> TRANSLATING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot>  BABEL&nbsp;FISH&nbsp;&nbsp; The Web is full of suprises. Questions? Check out our FAQs.
<Mr_CAD> lol
<Mr_CAD> well, obviously it doesn't take ANSI :)

#10426 +(18)- [X]

<nwinter> i am personally more concerned about israel and palestine
cutting ties with each other than who's whipping who. :)
<nwinter> but perhaps i am being trendy in my concern for more interesting
issues. :)

#11169 +(673)- [X]

<klerck> I've been wearing my immortality bracelet for a month, and I haven't died yet

#11937 +(19)- [X]

<molesto> damn, i submitted "black pride" to oxymoron.com and they didn't accept it
<molesto> :(

#14303 +(290)- [X]

HyperKinetic> Crap, I got olive jizz on my shirt
Bug> ...
Lyme> o_O
HyperKinetic> It's coooold!
Bug> Why were you jerking off an olive?
HyperKinetic> LOL, no
Bug> Little Hyper has some strange tastes.
HyperKinetic> ARGH
Lyme> Olivefucker
Bug> He's after the pimento.

#17983 +(606)- [X]

<indecisive> I WISH I WAS LIKE 5
<indecisive> I COULD START ALL OVER
<indecisive> LIKE HEY, I COULD PRETEND TO NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE MY LEGS
<indecisive> AND WENT AROUND IN A WHEELCHAIR LIKE ALL MY LIFE BUT EXERCISED MY LEGS SECRETLY AND THEN JUMPED OUT AND STARTED BREAK-DANCING
<Fishfood> YOU COULD GO TO A CRIPPLE CONVENTION AND GET UP IN THE MIDDLE AND SHOUT 'GET WITH THE FUNK' AND JUMP ON THE TABLE
<indecisive> WHILE I'M WISHING, I WISH I HAD FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS

#21832 +(194)- [X]

<supers> one of the tv guide cross word makers died
<supers> i guess they barried him 6 down and 6 across

#21868 +(-155)- [X]

<Hydric> :P
<|Opeth|> lol
<|Opeth|> you're dumb Hydric..do you really don't know?
<|Opeth|> *laughing*
<Tetsubo> do you really dont know hydric?! *laughing*

#27791 +(451)- [X]

<Raenne>  Damnit, my cookies are only half baked
<Tungee>  Smoke em up a bit more then
<Futility>  Heh heh heh... half baked.
<Raenne>  I stuck em back in the oven :)
<Tungee>  Mazi
<Tungee>  Nazi
<Raenne>  ...
<Raenne>  They are COOKIES, not PEOPLE
<Raenne>  chocolate chip :)
<Tungee>  The nazi's didn't believe the Jews were people either

#30255 +(456)- [X]

<Yomanman> we're gonna have a southern wedding!
<PowerRad> Also known as a family reunion

#36499 +(137)- [X]

#37208 +(483)- [X]

<Mr_E> kazaa lite's a little better... I get a good 30 seconds of downloading before it crashes
<Mr_E> regular kazaa crashes on start up
<Mr_E> I need like, kazaa-uber-lite
<Mr_E> if there was such thing
<Mr_E> maybe I'd get a whole file done then
<w|zzy> it is your celery
<Mr_E> excuse me?
<logicalentity> hehe
<logicalentity> NOW THATS TECH SUPPORT

#39432 +(329)- [X]

<D4NG3R0U5> i hjad this really fucken scary dream dude
<D4NG3R0U5> i was walkin down this empty street
<D4NG3R0U5> and for some reason i looked up, and there was a big FATAL ERROR message in the sky
<D4NG3R0U5> and it turned out that god had a dev team scripting dreams, and my (faulty) dream was somehow published wo being tested...
<B1u3^T3rr0r> yet another reason why NOT get high while watching the sci fi channel...last night matrix was on, and after that nightmare on elm st III

#40928 +(240)- [X]

<dingo> so i was talking to k-ron on the phone, telling him about that cop talking shit aobut 'distribution', and he says 'bullshit'!
<dingo> and in the background i hear his sister bitching at him for swearing
<dingo> so he says "shut up, mom says 'shit' all the time!"
<dingo> and her retort is: 'yeah, but you said the WHOLE word!'

#41289 +(97)- [X]

* Ethiopian is now away: away eating
* Ethiopian is now known as Ethiopian_eating

#42625 +(9)- [X]

*** Quits: Noirgrim (I sold my kids for cheese)

#47325 +(455)- [X]

(bi0_away) Universal Realm Enterprises, Inc. (PATHFUSION-DOM)
(bi0_away) PO Box 903
(bi0_away) Volcano
(bi0_away) HI,96785
(bi0_away) US
(bi0_away) HI
(bi0_away) lol
(bi0_away) a city called Hi
(bi0_away) "hi, welcome to hi"
(FenixTxD) Its hawaii
(FenixTxD) idiot.

#49317 +(375)- [X]

<CommanderStab> ARGH
<CommanderStab> It just dawned on me that the "pen" I was chewing was actually a pair of scissors @_@
<CommanderStab> It dawned on me when I cut my lip on them >_<

#61680 +(416)- [X]

<Charlemagne> monkey? what kind of racial slur is that?
<Mercenary9> A primitive one.

#75220 +(119)- [X]

<Krizzz989> The Screensavers on techtv said so and their word is final, sorry

#80753 +(9)- [X]

<Perplex> I cut my pubes to about 1/2 inch, they look neat, tidy, and inviting

#86059 +(430)- [X]

<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the Kleenex I have in a pile by now.
<CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no provisions for people made of Kleenex.

#125229 +(562)- [X]

<Scummder> well thats great. I get to spend about 5 minutes playing gamecube before my mother appears from nowhere and tells me to do more mowing.
<bile> think of your mother as an endboss and destroy her.

#162093 +(478)- [X]

*** Quits: tubgirl (Excess Flood)

#164514 +(1032)- [X]

<dnc> yesterday ivana had some friends over, and they were flicking through the tv channels, and accidentally hit the input selector - and got the pc tv out input... and spent like 30 minutes watching me play halo thinking it was a tv show
<dnc> glad i wasnt looking at hardcore pr0n

#164609 +(429)- [X]

<Legendre> I got two spams today - one for weight loss, and one for penile enlargement. I relplied to both, with cc: and asked if they could work something out to transfer my extra weight to my johnson.

#303093 +(770)- [X]

<@LoungeServ> For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

#356183 +(824)- [X]

<GWH> funny when you and your girlfriend are fighting over aim
<GWH> and then you realize you dont have to sit there till she answers, you can do other shit too

#448261 +(604)- [X]

lab_rat_inph3ct3d: spiderman isnt the only one who gets his hands sticky on the web

#448982 +(675)- [X]

CwD | Asbestos: calculus is
CwD | Asbestos: triangle over triangle is equal to square diveded by - y x
CwD | Asbestos: what is z
CwD | Asbestos: youre like
CwD | Asbestos: wtf
CwD | Asbestos: there is no z
CwD | Asbestos: and they say
CwD | Asbestos: wtf is z n00b
CwD | Asbestos: and while youre sitting there trying to think
CwD | Asbestos: they say
CwD | Asbestos: times up
CwD | Asbestos: youve just been pwnd
CwD | Asbestos: and youre like wtf h4x0rs
CwD | Asbestos: thats calculus

#515134 +(-885)- [X]

<MetalRox66> Could Jesus make a quote so funny that bash.org would not reject it?

#626676 +(1619)- [X]

ShamanMumboJumbo: Dude, I hate AIM Triton but I had to get it because all my friends have it and I can't share files otherwise
ViewtifulDom: Peer2Peer Pressure?

#667762 +(895)- [X]

<Ghaleon> I'm a programmer for a company that ports english made games to the japanese market
<PcChip> Make one say "ALL YOUR BASE" in japanese to get back at them.

#670129 +(1062)- [X]

<Dooley>omg </3
<Mstandot>What does that smiley represent?
<mictoboy>a vasectomy

#699884 +(22)- [X]

ScottDoom1944: I have had several customers inquiring about the Wii, but none had inquired about the 360 previously and none have inquired about the PS3.
h0ckeygod: That's because you work at Toys R Us.

#724976 +(1887)- [X]

<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night

#767620 +(-344)- [X]

CarlXxX: omg
CarlXxX: the power was out when I got home
CarlXxX: so I was like "wtf am I gonna DO!?"
HitmanBravo: =/
CarlXxX: I sat down..
CarlXxX: ate
CarlXxX: cut my nails
CarlXxX: played with my cat
CarlXxX: jerked it
CarlXxX: and slept
HitmanBravo: lol

#877630 +(3697)- [X]

< billn> so pizza hut has that field in the online order form, for special instructions?
< billn> I put 'driver must beat box.'
< billn> turns out, he could.

#877645 +(1255)- [X]

mrspeak3r: i vnc'd from my work box to my home box
mrspeak3r: then remote-desktop'd from my home box to my work box.
mrspeak3r: It was like my desktop was the front man in an 80s music video.
mrspeak3r: ...
mrspeak3r: except it was a video that lasted 10 seconds and crashed 2 computers.

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