QDB Admin 50 Random Quotes
Paypal Donate

#92 +(2037)- [X]

<Xavier> if it has 'teen' in the channel name, the collective iq of the group can automatically be assumed to be a negative value

#93 +(1483)- [X]

<Mootar> what was god thinking when he made my ass sweat?

#841 +(242)- [X]

<Masta_D``> zophar was a trend
<Masta_D``> it was hip to be with zophar
<Masta_D``> till we all realized how gay he is

#951 +(625)- [X]

(Atarax) I think I ogle 14 year old girls just to see the looks on their parents faces

#1554 +(721)- [X]

<ckx> i get a bunch of scrambled porn
<ckx> one time i was jerking off to this channel
<ckx> 102
<ckx> and like then i realized it was two guys
<ckx> cuz 102 was a gay channel
<ckx> 101 was the good hardcore porn
<HomerJ> HAW
<ckx> but by then i was already into it
<ckx> so i didn't change it

#2093 +(285)- [X]

<dr_tril> i wanna be bruce lee
<aNuBiS-> i wanna fuck his tight chinese ass
<ChewToy> ok that's a visual i didn't need anubis
<ChewToy> what is it with you and homosexuals this morning?
<dr_tril> or what is it with him and homosexuals every morning

#2629 +(429)- [X]

<spazzer> ahh fuck
<spazzer> i did it again
<spazzer> spilled tap ramen juice in my lap twice
<Cured> see and I thought you were just singing along to Britney Spears

#2854 +(542)- [X]

<Strafer> If you get collisions on a wireless LAN, do you see sparks in mid-air?

#3774 +(564)- [X]

<MrP-> that 40 days and 40 nights movie pisses me off... ohh can he go 40 days without sex? try 19 years!!!
<ine> i think there is an additional restriction regarding masturbation as well, MrP-
<kalani> LOL
<SprSamat> hrmm
<MrP-> oh

#4478 +(629)- [X]

<tatsumi> There's a difference between being grumpy and hating every little fucker in existence.

#4583 +(488)- [X]

<Spesh> It takes skill to climb the corporate ladder on your knees.

#4871 +(352)- [X]

<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing

#4881 +(272)- [X]

<reuben> send me a picture of you.
<{Elmo}> no scanner
<reuben> get one.
<{Elmo}> no $$
<ryano> in other words reub, you probably dont want to see her

#7433 +(408)- [X]

<Undine> To celebrate football fan twattishness, Birmingham will once again shut down.
<Undine> Because of the fracas of the last match, twats climbing onto bus roofs as they waited in traffic.
<Undine> The routes around the major bars will be shut.
* Hawx imagines Birmingham "shutting down"...
<Hawx> Like Christmas lights going off...
<Hawx> "It is now safe to turn off your Birmingham"

#8159 +(359)- [X]

<Naivete> HE HAS NO FEELINGS
<Naivete> HE IS JUST A GIANT ROBOT WITH A PULSING 8" COCK
<Sky> TRANSFORMER PORN!!! NOW WE"RE TALKING!

#8202 +(408)- [X]

<baietas> hey ppl.. quick question.. just downloaded every KDE3.0.1 RPM for my distro (mandrake) but when i try to install it it asks for some other files taht i dont have.. what do i do?
<Epesh> get those files

#8648 +(251)- [X]

<hakan> i asked this hot girl out, she said she just wanted to be pen pals
<hakan> and she dropped our class
<dr_rotcod> haha
<hakan> is that a good thing?

#8837 +(94)- [X]

<Ez> School books are fun to sell.
<Ez> and will be forever
<Vazagi> Isn't sort of like selling crack? Rots the mind and so on...

#9286 +(1836)- [X]

<jre> What should I read next, the Canterbury Tales, Don Quixote, or a book on Greek Mythology?
<GenericSuperhero> READE YW OLDE KANTVRBVRY TALES
<GenericSuperhero> THEYE ARE SHURE TO BEE VARY INTERASTINGE
<GenericSuperhero> HOPEFULLYE, YOU WILL READE IT IN THINE OLDE ENGLISHE
<EvilKosh> HELLO I AM JRE AND I HAVE TO READ HIGH FALOOTIN' BOOKS
<jre> GENARIKE, THOU ART AN FAGOTE OF THE LOW'ST ORDRE
<GenericSuperhero> THANKE YOU JAREE-EE
<jre> DAMN'D BE THOU SEED, AND MAY'ST IT NE'ER PRODUSE A PERSYONE OF ATTRAKTIVE CALIBAR
<GenericSuperhero> AYE, TISS MUSTVE HAPPENED TO YONDERS MOTHERE WHENCE THOU WAS CAPTURED WITHIN HER WOMBE!
<jre> THOU SPEAKST LIKE A RAGEING MANHAT
<GenericSuperhero> AH! THEN EYE SPEAKTH LIKE THINES FATHRE!

#10860 +(907)- [X]

<rds|squall> im italian plz help me

#15905 +(1117)- [X]

(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'
(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id
(juslooken) it was very jedi

#17363 +(74)- [X]

<@SixSyx6> ugly is ok as long as I don't have to kiss them
<@SixSyx6> or look at them

#33889 +(118)- [X]

<Holden> "The file or directory C:WINDOWSsystem32 is corrupt and unreadable.  Please run the Chkdsk utility."
<Holden> Uh-oh
<Holden> That can't be good.
<Holden> I guess Windows built in random system reformater is telling me I need to do it again.
*** Holden (~Joe@24.43.60.121) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#36359 +(629)- [X]

<Kaymanistic>Jesus Christ.  My dog has been licking herself for almost 30 minutes straight!!!
<Rockjunky>God I wish I could do that..would never leave the house
<Whatsupdude>Dude I realize its a dog but dont you think you should ask her first?

#36418 +(113)- [X]

<Arielana> i will not eat animal penis' for $50,000
<Arielana> lol
<Arielana> no way
<Phrizzawh> Arielana is a wuzz
<Phrizzawh> i would eat penis any day

#38104 +(194)- [X]

* ChanServ sets mode: +o Anubus
<@Anubus> I got the Powwa stick!
<+DaS> how'd you know I called it that?
<+DaS> and what are you doing holding it?

#38893 +(327)- [X]

@(mhweaver) new philosophy on life:
@(mhweaver) "I may have to share this planet with animals, but I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them."

#42919 +(173)- [X]

<Catman102> I'm a dumbass and put the drivers on my firewire harddrive but I can't get them off the harddrive till I have the drivers to activate the firewire

#45703 +(11)- [X]

<H1tl3r-H1ms3lf> well im off to fuck up at installing linux prolly wont be back
<H1tl3r-H1ms3lf> nice knowing you all
<H1tl3r-H1ms3lf> lol
<Satans_LiL_HeLLper> k cya

#46014 +(573)- [X]

* Sock_Monkee deletes some games
<Sock_Monkee> w00t.....freed over a gig
<Sock_Monkee> fucking sim theme park and jedi knight and q3
<Sock_Monkee> !
<Sock_Monkee> my porn was in q3!

#60137 +(969)- [X]

<Superpig> my uncle has a celeron
<Superpig> would XP run on it, do you think?
<ravuya> about as well as a dog runs with no legs or torso
<ravuya> and with bricks tied to its head
<ravuya> at the bottom of a solid concrete pool
<ravuya> filled with dead corpses and rocks
<Superpig> so, about the same as it runs on my P4 then
<ravuya> more or less

#61898 +(102)- [X]

<FIFpe> Dude, can you ask Andrew to look for my wallet when he gets home
<FIFpe> Cause I need it hard
<Qinop> yeah
<Qinop> he has it hard
<FIFpe> THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY
<FIFpe> Tell him to stick it...in his mail-box, and I"ll pick it up on the way to church
<Qinop> we don't have a box, we have a slot
<Qinop> actually it's more like a chute
<Qinop> so we will stick it in our "door"
<FIFPe> sweet

#74183 +(730)- [X]

<CommanderStab> I once knew a guy who impersonated a teenage girl on the Internet
<CommanderStab> He tricked married men into believing he was a 14 year old Swedish girl and then said that "she'd like to get a call from him but Dad woudl get suspicious if he heard the phone ring".
<CommanderStab> So they'd give him their phone number and he'd use it to trace their addresses down and find out information about them.
<CommanderStab> Then he'd blackmail them into giving him their bank account details.
<heythere> ... did he get caught? ^^"
<CommanderStab> Apparantely the cops came around a couple of times investigating him. He always told the cops that he had got the information pretending to be a 14 year old girl that the men had wanted to get in contact with.
<CommanderStab> Apparantely nobody ever pressed further charges =D
<heythere> damn ... i gotta try that!

#84294 +(77)- [X]

<Numloxx> hmmm, wonder if i should have chinese tonight
<Numloxx> yeah... a bit of shaved asian would feel good :)
<Numloxx> i mean.. umm... sweet and sour pork..
<Numloxx> wait.. i meant.. umm.. satay chicken and fried rice :)

#104759 +(314)- [X]

* freeloki hopes that this emote works; otherwise, he'll look like an idiot.
<Abstruse> "emote"?
* freeloki notes that his emoting was successful. 8)
<Abstruse> I remember when the /me command was called an ACTION...now it's an "emote"?  Dude, they've finally managed to pussify IRC...

#105834 +(305)- [X]

<Prozax> 9 cats? you must be really ugly

#125283 +(13281)- [X]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes  Mrs.Miller.. :-/

#140652 +(1624)- [X]

<Unleaded> I did something really geeky just now
<Ex0duz> watched star trek ?
<Unleaded> I was reading a magazine, and I glanced at the bottom right hand corner of the page expecting to see the time... :/

#152138 +(202)- [X]

* Suzzie just learned the term "donkey punch"
<Suzzie> the question is, why is it listed in the "sports" category

#162468 +(7)- [X]

(NooDLe) the next stage of female evolution
(NooDLe) will come with inbuilt oven
(NooDLe) and no vocal chords

#188022 +(24)- [X]

khoveraki: anyway, Desert Storm is so blank to me
khoveraki: I don't know much about it
khoveraki: did we even finish that one?
Screamer499: Nope.
Screamer499: We stopped when we hit Baghdad
khoveraki: figures
khoveraki: any of our guys still there?
Screamer499: It's the same country we're fighting now, man.
Screamer499: so yeah.
Screamer499: A LOT of our guys are there.

#189180 +(860)- [X]

<[GSF]Nitro> if that hot assistant had done a tumor check on my nads, it would have been an embarrassing experience for both of us
<Quizical> heh
<PunMeister> lol
<The_Spaniard> excuse me sir can you do something about that erection
<[GSF]Nitro> unless she found a tumor.. that would kill the mood pretty fast I bet
<[GSF]Nitro> 8=============D
<[GSF]Nitro> you have cancer
<[GSF]Nitro> 8D

#215638 +(1448)- [X]

<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it."

#243693 +(234)- [X]

<Chrisodeo> In Soviet Russia... the jokes tell you!
<CrazySteve> Am I the only one bothered by the fact that there is now no longer a Soviet Russia?
--- ChanServ sets ban on *!*paradym14@pcp02481451pcs.spedwy01.in.comcast.net
<-- ChanServ has kicked Chrisodeo from #jack (Gunned down by the russian mafia.)
<CrazySteve> I guess not.

#396678 +(1026)- [X]

<freud> once i found a gummybear in my computer
<freud> opened it to change graphic card and BANG an evil red gummybear
<Lars2> how did a gummy bear end up in there?
<freud> no clue
<Deto> gummy bears will do anything to avoid getting eaten

#571902 +(355)- [X]

* PotSmoker has quit IRC (Broken pipe)
<careyasd> that's why you smoke joints

#574649 +(1581)- [X]

<Dogan> man, my english class this year is so sweet
<Dogan> there was this quick write on the civil rights movement yesterday
<Dogan> couldn't think of anything else, so i just ended with "In conclusion, all your base are belong to us."
<Dogan> she just wrote "Rephrase?", and gave me 30/30

#577535 +(686)- [X]

<eXeLoR> My gf was all like, "you havn't made eye contact once this evening", she was hell pissed
<sILLA> You should have told her that breasts don't have eyes

#647615 +(553)- [X]

<@semi> heres the way I see it
<@semi> they say you are supposed to spend two months salary on the ring
<@semi> better do that now when you are earning 50 bucks a month

#786759 +(1507)- [X]

<@Thrawn> They did a test in our local riot police lately
<@Thrawn> You know, the one where you have to put creatively shaped wooden pegs in corresponding holes
<@Thrawn> Turns out they have 2 kinds of persons in our riot police
<@Thrawn> Very stupid persons
<@Thrawn> And very strong persons

0.0560 21035 quotes approved; 4 quotes pending
Hosted by Idologic: high quality reseller and dedicated hosting.
© QDB 1999-2017, All Rights Reserved.