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#4416 +(348)- [X]

<ltbs> SomeGirl: you have Pantera. It's a weird strain of Anthrax. You should also watch out for Sepultura, Megadeth, and Black Sabbath

#7127 +(161)- [X]

*** Mezoth|work was kicked by Avie_work (the last guy that said, "I think you know what I want" to me ended up in the hospital. FOR SIX MONTHS.)

#7435 +(511)- [X]

<Owyn> I can't double click on a folder to open it.
<Owyn> THat's not a good thing.
<Phuser> keep the chat running man JUST KEEP THE CHAT RUNNING!
*** Owyn has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Phuser> damn
* Phuser throws his hands in the air
<Phuser> WHY GOD, WHY?!

#7638 +(230)- [X]

<com4> PMMe: they're talking about archers retardo
<PMMeWhenServerWorksPlease> i know!
<PMMeWhenServerWorksPlease> and im not a retard com
<com4> i didn't say that
<com4> i said you were retardo.. protector of the weak.. and stupid .. and humper of legs

#8424 +(210)- [X]

<[Phoenix]> My keyboard is gay?
<Howdy> yes, but thats no reason to feel uncomfortable.. a gay keyboard can touch your digits and it not be sexual

#8855 +(126)- [X]

<Anton> whooops
<Anton> I was just talking to a girl on msn and she stopped replying so I said I wanted to fuck her in the ass to get her attention
<Anton> then her little brother just said "soow y anton i have stolen my putta zar is npot bein wude shell brb"

#11943 +(381)- [X]

<Normandy>  I like Pixie's spelling late at night
<Pixie_Pete>  kick Normandy SUHT PU 0F0!!!11

#14648 +(16)- [X]

<pandz>the computer guy at the store told me to flash my bios...i says to him flash this...

#16481 +(801)- [X]

<Johnny-5> i just measured my dick and i was like 'yay ten inches' then i realised i was looking at centimeters. life can be so hard sometimes.

#16607 +(20)- [X]

<`Tenshi> ass munch.
<ibutsu> yes, I do on occaision

#23175 +(717)- [X]

<Ryutaro> I liked it when things were simple
<Ryutaro> gravity wasnt known
<Ryutaro> things stuck to the earth because they loved it

#23284 +(208)- [X]

(Sloth) neighbor's house power is out.. perfect time for me to kill them
(Kirby-no-Osekkai) good idea

#24936 +(-16)- [X]

<[HTK]-Goatmeal> why did dp leave?
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his shirt
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his pants
<[HTK]-sKratch> cause he's too seksi for his irc

#34163 +(36)- [X]

<Mdk>Incest...a totally new meaning for "fun for the whole family"

#34760 +(666)- [X]

<Koyama> that masturbation thread has gotten way out of hand

#36702 +(731)- [X]

<copernicu> what are bad noises for hard drives to make?
* copernicu has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))

#37532 +(701)- [X]

<Sauron> nazis steal everything from other cultures
<Sauron> swastica = stolen, salute = stolen, skinhead name = stolen
<Sauron> nazi banners = stolen
<Sauron> nazi eagle = stolen
<r3q> world domination = priceless
<Sauron> lol

#37996 +(187)- [X]

<Soberguy> redhat 8 can't decide if  a rpm is installed or not
<toxictv> Redhat is like anal sex - good every now and then, but if you rely on it too heavily, it starts to bleed out the ass.

#38489 +(733)- [X]

<arnoboltinager> is goatse down for anyone else?

#40483 +(271)- [X]

<daimonic> i was standing in the kitchen waiting for my toast for about 2 minutes
<daimonic> stoned out of my head so i just stood there looking at the toaster
<daimonic> then when it finally was done it gave me some fright
<daimonic> fuck

#41636 +(894)- [X]

<Amergin|afk> I am dyslexic of Borg. You will be ass laminated

#46700 +(522)- [X]

(+Kazimierz) Groundhog Day is on TV so much it's as if the film's really happening

#47108 +(685)- [X]

Jahidi:   like 10 minutes ago i was walking down the hall and it sounded like
          that ugly freak of nature with the unibrow that lives next door was
          fucking some other dude...freaked me out
bbyhewie: really?
Jahidi:   yeah...but it must have been something else...couldn't have been that
bbyhewie: how do you know, maybe he just happened to meet the most pathetic
          inbred dumbass cock-starved crackhead loser of all time and they're
          gonna live happily ever after.
Jahidi:   Nah, you wern't idle

#48208 +(420)- [X]

<v-ger> it's fun to hate people online - it's like a video game and sensitive people's feelings are like quad damage

#52412 +(624)- [X]

<Brookes_Baby> Hey does anyone have an idea of what I could get for my collection of Final Fantasy games?
<Kevyn> Not laid.

#58146 +(330)- [X]

<[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact same damn thing
<[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both of us..that's fooken strange
<AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
<AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer, for fuck's sake."

#76320 +(704)- [X]

AlexKN3: i'll be a laughting stuck
AlexKN3: stick

#79660 +(672)- [X]

<Shrike> those lesbians
<Shrike> is there anything they won't do
<Guardian_Latino> fuck men?

#90010 +(827)- [X]

<+Erik> my dad knows i was watching him watch porn last night
<@Kodiake> wtf
<@Kodiake> did ya catch ol' dad jerkin off rofl
<+Erik> lol no dont ask
<+Erik> i was watching him cyber on remote administrator
<+Erik> and posting screenshots on irc
<+Erik> and we were making fun of him
<@Kodiake> ROFLMAO
<+Erik> so some fucker gets on msn and starts iming my dad
<+Erik> then goes "erik is watching you downstairs."
<@Kodiake> HAHAHAAHA
<+Erik> "he sees you watching gangbang pictures"

#91807 +(827)- [X]

<Kukyona> how is hacking like sex? gets better with practice?
<m4tt-3> ehh
<m4tt-3> 'get in, get out, hope you dont leave anything behind that can be traced to you

#106450 +(375)- [X]

<Frosty> I hate going into kitchens in Resident Evil. I mean - you just know that there's something in the 'fridge. There always is. And you don't want to open the 'fridge, but you know there's something in there that you need. However, you're running out of ammo, so you're left with killing a zombie using nothing more than a toothpick and the urine from pissing your pants.

#118967 +(452)- [X]

(@Ti-chan) Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser

#123920 +(331)- [X]

<Donut[AFK]> .. this is my new pickup line.
<@Meikai> Twitch.
<Donut[AFK]> "Hey, did I mention I have a single cock, and that it is of average size and shape?"
<Donut[AFK]> "Also, I have no STDs!"
<@Meikai> "Because I never get laid!"

#161880 +(382)- [X]

<sta-hi> er..

#218178 +(590)- [X]

<BMPthePNG> haha
<BMPthePNG> I put on smashing live and my cat laid down and purred
<BMPthePNG> so I thought 'hmmm' and put on System of a down
<BMPthePNG> she went and attacked the dog

#238114 +(248)- [X]

<p0m> AGDN: My father's always calling me to explain the toolbar on Word.
<p0m> Its rediculous.
<p0m> "Whats this button do?" "I Don't fucking know! CLIIIIICK IT!"

#238915 +(463)- [X]

<nimja> so I am afraid I might have scared some people in my photo iii class tonight
<nimja> this fucking housefly landed on my notes in the middle of a lecture on split-filter printing techniques
<nimja> and so I used my ultimate nimja powers to kill it with my bare hand
<nimja> (it seriously was impressive)
<nimja> but then I stabbed said housefly three (or maybe ten) times with my ballpopint pen while yelling "DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!!!"
<nimja> *class went silent*
<nimja> I said: "Sorry, it just seems like it was the thing to do right then."
<nimja> prof didn't miss a beat, pretended to wipe bug guts off his tie, and then proceeded to discuss the use of filters 1/4 vs 0/5

#357274 +(993)- [X]

<Leto> I had a password I could type entirely with my right hand for a while
<Nugget> why?
<Leto> so I could unlock my screen while drinking coffee

#412241 +(1926)- [X]

<Elysium> I think I need to watch some porn for luck
<gNaRKiLL> doesnt work
<gNaRKiLL> id be the luckiest fucker alive
<gNaRKiLL> id shit leprachauns

#526775 +(1053)- [X]

<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor
<Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT

#526916 +(1856)- [X]

<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today... YAG-108
<mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked like BOI-GAY
<mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard :/

#564842 +(1544)- [X]

<%typobox43> (I/O, I/O, it's to the bus we go)
<%typobox43> I can just imagine the electrical pulses singing that.
<+BlindFool> You need to be shot

#625822 +(716)- [X]

Scott: i need a title for an essay about how i go over and above what is asked of me
Scott: because its a reflection on myself
Austin: "Second to None: The Story of How I Spit on God"

#665565 +(-222)- [X]

<wixard> so... anybody know of any cool soldering irons?
<nugent> yeah the soldermatic4000 supermax version 2.0

#669969 +(915)- [X]

<mocker> I just need to do more than play video games on my day off
<Homeworld> but playing games is awesome
<mocker> I wanna play RL sometime
<Homeworld> rl is boring
<Astorite> RL doesn't have enough upgrades.
<mocker> RL has tons of upgrades, they are just much much harder to get
<mocker> and not as fun
<Astorite> Well, yeah, I guess it's just a lot harder to gain XP and GP.
<mocker> I need to find myself a 'sploit
<Astorite> They've got some, but the Mods are hella anal about 'em.
<Astorite> They're all like, "Crack isn't a legal income producer." or "You have to go to College to say you know how to do that skillset."
<mocker> they are just power-trippin mods jeez

#696055 +(643)- [X]

<billy_s> chinese cant be THAT hard to learn, only one characeter to learn - '?'

#746738 +(538)- [X]

Hooka: I'm going to pee on you
Ralphy_Fox: that'd be hot
lemonlimeskull: Only for a while, then it'd cool off.

#782660 +(881)- [X]

<Mercestes> ...omg, that reminds me...I made a faux pas at work..:(
<Mercestes> My boss was talking about this new "religious video game."  (he's catholic).
<Mercestes> and I went off on a tangent and I was like, "oh...wow, what happens when you lose?"
<Mercestes> and he turned his back and I threw out my arms like I was on a cross and went "Game Over!"
<Mercestes> and my other co=workers were like, "OMG!  I forbid you to do that ever again!" and he turned back around and went "what'd I miss?"
<Mercestes> no one would tell him.
<Mercestes> and then when it got quiet, I went "Continue?" and everyone started laughing again.

#916256 +(-172)- [X]

<Orang> Dude, this is weird, I just put an apple next to my Mac and it made a weird noise without me touching anything.
<Joshtrap> My PC does the same thing when I take a shit by it.

#954104 +(134)- [X]

<Sheep> Cat owners - Do you ever find that you're stroking your cat and suddenly everything feels like a tasty chicken dinner?

0.0327 21015 quotes approved; 554 quotes pending
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