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#1054 +(296)- [X]

(wundr) gizm... why do you never use the same nick for more than 25 minutes?
(scolnick) i got tired of 'gizm'
(scolnick) at first i thought it was dope, just due to the fact that tht i liked the letters
(scolnick) g-i-z-m
(scolnick) but then it got old to me
(scolnick) so for now you can just call me lewis

#1319 +(142)- [X]

<DigDug> i have gay fantasies about every guy i meet
<DigDug> i try to take his picture
<DigDug> and then i masturbate to it
<DigDug> i have a whole archive of it on my hard drive
<DigDug> that's why i'm running out of space
<DigDug> not because i download warez

#1856 +(608)- [X]

(dOkTeR---) doesnt matter how hot a girl is, if they do drugs and have a stupid personality, they are just as ugly as the fat bitch who won the pie eating contests

#2050 +(79)- [X]

<B_Spears> Jimmy Buffet? aww
<Slander> Jimmy rocks man
<Ferney> heh
<B_Spears> yeah, in a rocking chair ;)

#4080 +(431)- [X]

<ar5WRK> Is it fucked up, to like, when she was sleeping, jerk off on her so when she would wake up she would have a mound of jizz on her body some where?
<ar5WRK> Not like i ever did that.
<ar5WRK> Just wanting to know...
<ar5WRK> ...

#6545 +(249)- [X]

<Goodlookinguy17> if anyone wants to cyber with a hot 17 year old male, message me
<Owaru> if anyone wants to hear desperate pleas of attention by a decrepit 17 year old weirdo, msg me!
<Owaru> i'll make you sound like you're normal!

#16511 +(316)- [X]

<noah> no I need a way to come to terms with the fact that I wasted
<noah> my horny years whacking off to porn instead of bagging college
<noah> tail
<dr.adam> might i suggest bourbon

#17861 +(35)- [X]

<ouija666> this gay guy was bitching about only being with guys with small dicks
<ouija666> which is pointless if you have a gaping queer anus
<ouija666> so i say like
<ouija666> he needs a tattoo on his ass that reads 'you must be this tall (arrow) to ride this ride'

#21316 +(445)- [X]

<@JackPott> JACK POTT
<@JackPott> ON TEH RADIO
<@GingaNutz> nice abuse of the english language
<+Oz> abuse is an understatement
<+Oz> more like "flagellation followed by intense anal rape by at least seven well-endowed males, two goats and one horse, in turn followed by an intragenital injection of H2SO4"

#22978 +(283)- [X]

<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you burn.

#23116 +(139)- [X]

<antijon> So, what does everyone think of a web server written in Java?
<d-aliegri> slow?

#33702 +(1773)- [X]

<BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it.
<LULU> You wear pants don't you?

#33797 +(24)- [X]

<greenl1284> and they're made of fire so they are coool
<SicGtar> yea
<greenl1284> whooosh!
<greenl1284> arise hellfire
<greenl1284> and a fire wall will appear to protect your computer

#36602 +(146)- [X]

<Lilmuckers> ever had a wank in school where it hits the blackboard?
<ibor132> i hate those

#36707 +(99)- [X]

*** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has joined #c++
<Aplo> !list
<Hexley> Aplo: Please type "no warez here toidinamai" (without quotes).
<Aplo> no warez here toidinamai
<Hexley> Aplo: Thanks for Playing. Now read what you said (last word reversed)... ;)
<IRoC> lol
<TelimTor> lol
*** Aplo (bos21@ppp212-134.access.bryansk.ru) has left #c++

#39280 +(227)- [X]

jenmigrant: I've figured it out.  There are two distinct species of male in the world:  All the men I want, and all the men I can have.

#39635 +(805)- [X]

<Jules--> i mainly listen to battle music
<Jules--> which is basically rappers
<Jules--> insulting each other and calling each other fags
<Jules--> its like irc set to a beat

#40392 +(182)- [X]

[+Badtz] good sex = the best shit out there
[@orion] what's the bandwidth requirements?

#40911 +(206)- [X]

@j0hn: haha
@j0hn: 35 trojans
j0hn quit (formatting)

#42372 +(408)- [X]

<PropWash> I really was hoping I could be 'special enough' for an exception..but alas..im full of myself ;>
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I'm full of many things.
<Karnophage> Like a Pinata
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Very close, actually.
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Except I'm not surrounded by little kids with bludgeons, hoping to consume my innards.
<PropWash> quick, gimmie a stick
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> GET AWAY FROM MY ENTRAILS!!!

#44232 +(178)- [X]

[JaymoFish] I can change jumper settings on my HDs via BIOS right?
[Ben`] nope
[JaymoFish] thats gay
[Ben`] no, you're gay for not having them set right in the first place :P
[JaymoFish] no
[JaymoFish] they're set in right
[JaymoFish] but to make an ext. HD
[JaymoFish] you gotta set it to Master inside a computer
[JaymoFish] then take it out
[Ben`] dude
[Ben`] you'll need to pull it out anyway to make it an EXTERNAL hard drive
[Ben`] Won't YOU!
[JaymoFish] oh yeah
[JaymoFish] damnit

#51418 +(179)- [X]

<NyseriA> i think i should inform you that i am totally naked at the keyboard.....and i just sat on a box of screws :(((((((((((((
<Weebl> is your webcam on nys?

#52775 +(992)- [X]

#58239 +(588)- [X]

<fluffy> note to self. when scanning a portion of your anatomy. remember the scanning software keeps that preivew image. untill your parents go to use it.

#72122 +(1306)- [X]

<StreaK> fuck im in a lot of channels
* Volt|Sleep does a whois a StreaK
<Volt|Sleep> StreaK is on #3drealms @#incest_r_us @#animalphilia @#fecalphilia @#luvn_lambs_rule @#mom-fuck-movies #disney_pics
<StreaK> WTF
<StreaK> i thought i had ops in disney_pics

#78912 +(163)- [X]

<leokitty> ok who wants to come over and help me find all the underwear that i've scattered around my room? i need to get it all into the laundry bag.
<DrTrevorkian> todd, you start searching.  i'll make the ebay seller account.

#87369 +(2015)- [X]

<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded man to death.
<Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
<Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill retards (/sarcasm)
<Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.

#103102 +(512)- [X]

<Shempo> WHAT!?
<Taiken> WORSE!
<Shempo> Oh
<Shempo> My
<Shempo> God
* Shempo calls up Canabis-Man
<Taiken> ...
<Taiken> Where is Cannabis man?
<Shempo> Probably high.

#106853 +(32)- [X]

<Olympus> Mikelo2k is gay
* Mikelo2k pwnz
<akcom> you pwn rosey palms
<Olympus> hehee
<akcom> she nevers talks back, and i hear she gives great hand jobs

#107809 +(962)- [X]

<Wheelman56> when i look back on what i just did to my dog i no longer wonder why i have no friends
<Jessi> what did you do to the poor thing
<Wheelman56> i took an empty cup and put it on my mouth and inhaled, therefore sticking it to my face
<Wheelman56> then i jumped up at down at my dog
<Wheelman56> waving my arms
<Wheelman56> and making bird sounds
<Wheelman56> ...

#115506 +(414)- [X]

<chris> i've been to a lan-party with 130 people on the weekend
<Matthew> Cool.
<Matthew> I have the internet.
<Matthew> It's one big lan party.
<Matthew> But the difference is...
<Matthew> You can jerk off, and no one knows.
<chris> true that

#134499 +(482)- [X]

(@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
(@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
(@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about that
(@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the switch ?
(+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch with my linux box
(@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the windows machine you are on now ?
(+Andross): yeah

#137692 +(523)- [X]

<Procyon> I don't know the world around me!
<Procyon> I'm scared, and confused!
<DS> have you felt a strong desire to vote for george w. bush recently?

#168093 +(16)- [X]

* Now talking in #israel
<Idiot-boy> Hey #israel!  Soo... hitler.

#221671 +(202)- [X]

<Nathicana> invasion, penetration, domination ... tis all related.
<Sirithil> Yes, my militarism is just all Freudian expression...

#237965 +(254)- [X]

(+^Bunny) without the sex
(@Squiggle) the sex doesnt matter
(+^Bunny) like prison mates :)
(+^Bunny) lol j/k
(@Squiggle) I would SO much rather have someone hold me and play with my hair and snuggle me while I sleep than have sex.
(@Squiggle) sex is irrelevant to me most times.
(+^Bunny) i think a lot of women would ;)
(@Squiggle) Besides, my washing machine has a great spin cycle.

#392848 +(558)- [X]

<X-G> Yay, I wrote a todo list
<X-G> Now I can procrastinate more efficiently!

#447596 +(733)- [X]

<@topsoil> The College Jeopardy winner wagered $1,337 in Final Jeopardy... seems more like the geek hero to me :)
<@topsoil> I was hoping he'd come back and lose and then Alex would be like, "Sorry to say this...but you wagered $1337 and lost, which now means, *holds up sign* 'j00 4r3 n0t 1337.'"
<@topsoil> Either that or Alex would just look at him and say, "pwn3d".

#489516 +(1391)- [X]

Swatt> wait, whats 2nd base?
Garay> well 1st is making out, 2nd is hand job/fingering, 3rd is oral, and 4th or home is sex...
Swatt> what about 5th?
Garay> 5th?
Swatt> anal...
Garay> oh thats not 5th, thats a foul

#537155 +(1863)- [X]

<Handy> Japanese scientists have created a camera with  such a fast shutter speed,
<Handy> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth  shut.

#576373 +(26)- [X]

<Baumann> all I know is that Pascal is really pretty
<Dan> I think Pascal is a little chubby to be called pretty.
<Baumann> <<insert your mom comment here>>
<Dan> man, comparing my mom to pascal would be harsh
<Baumann> on Pascal, I know
<Baumann> you're mom's more like VB
<Baumann> bloaty and only stupid people would touch it

#668361 +(-26)- [X]

<@Nefro> so Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 sucked?
<malakian> yeah
<malakian> it sucks hard
<malakian> then swallows, sadly
<malakian> so you dont even see the climax.

#699308 +(4157)- [X]

<Ich> I've discovered that people on IRC don't get offended or riled up by racism
<Ich> nor politically incorrect jokes
<Ich> nor feminism, nazism,
<Ich> nor goatse, or even tubgirl
<Ich> not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody
<Ich> but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than PC's, things get ugly

#738715 +(1189)- [X]

Anti: Physics is like sex, it has practical results but that's not why we do it
RaefWolfe: Physics is like sex: I just don't get it

#767958 +(1440)- [X]

<Maniaman> so lets say i have a date
<Andares> Who's the lucky girl?
<Maniaman> if that date occurs between 2 dates in a single row in a database

#811374 +(908)- [X]

strummer126: Fucking asshole said this was going to be a video of an elephant sticking it's trunk up a rhino's asshole. Fucking Rickrolled again today. fuck this shit.

#817843 +(1681)- [X]

<phil> ok ok ops quiz
<phil> what's the command to leave an irc channel?
* Garron has quit IRC (Quit: )

#907021 +(1746)- [X]

<Jesus> a black baby died and went to heaven
<Jesus> and god looked at him and said, "you've earned your wings"
<Jesus> and gave the black baby wings
<Jesus> the black baby look up and said, "am i really an angel now"
<Jesus> and God looked down and said,

#925793 +(1721)- [X]

<Rei> who lived in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
<Rei> who died in an oil spill because of bp, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

#954863 +(371)- [X]

<SirWolfgang> i just paid $85 for a hoodie...
<tetsu> but it lasts for a decade right
<tetsu> youll be 30 before you need to buy another hoodie
<tetsu> and by then youll be an adult and just buy a coat

0.0328 20982 quotes approved; 6051 quotes pending
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