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#558 +(68)- [X]

<@xvize> xwin is like an os

#763 +(293)- [X]

<rusty> /. has spawned a whole self-sustaining troll subculture
<rusty> they're busily trolling the shit out of plastic.com right now

#1176 +(307)- [X]

(jayo) heh, apparently when i was 4 my dad took me to the pool, i saw a black guy and said "hey dad.. its michael jackson"

#1490 +(388)- [X]

* AaronWL licks jwilbur seductively.
<jwilbur> AaronWL: rawr, you're a frisky one. Too bad you're on AOL, I might catch something

#2576 +(348)- [X]

<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.

#4389 +(217)- [X]

<Campster> "DOOM 3 WILL BE PRODUCED ON A BUDGET OF 439 DOLLARS AND A PACKET OF JUICY FRUIT"

#5495 +(270)- [X]

<roded> i have one last thing i can try
*** roded has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))

#7056 +(210)- [X]

<Dracleath> You know, its disturbing how much the frosting for dominos cinnamon sticks looks like semen

#7484 +(223)- [X]

<Chrizto> this unix shit is never going to catch on at this rate.

#8722 +(328)- [X]

<Cyb> I remember the first time I talked to my ex girlfriend on aim
<Cyb> and I said 'heh'
<Cyb> and she was like "I hate when people say that!"
<Cyb> that was like the most traumatic moment of my life

#9214 +(667)- [X]

<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack

#11428 +(363)- [X]

<antix> i have a poem
<Lulu> share
<antix> its call "an irc life"
<antix> my bandwidth
<antix> i lag... i lag
<antix> i die....
<antix> the end
<fluxz0r> that was so touching

#13583 +(478)- [X]

<SinclairC> Anyone been to Taco Bell lately?
<Piccolo> No. I hate mexican. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Mexican, it's Taco Bell
<Piccolo> No. I hate Taco Bell. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Taco Bell, it's hamburgers
<Piccolo> No. I hate Hamburgers. :] Cheeseburgers are a different matter.
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't hamburgers, it's Dragonball Z
<Piccolo> Damm you

#14139 +(222)- [X]

<Choc> CARDIFF: Twelve people have been taken to hospital after Spanish world title contender Carlos Sainz's Ford left the road and hit spectators at the British rally here.
<morty> they were obviously cheering for another driver

#14217 +(1020)- [X]

<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself

#14788 +(174)- [X]

<s___> nair is scary
<s___> ive always been afraid i would go too near it at the grocery store
<s___> and it would spray me in the crotch or something

#15696 +(30)- [X]

<dem-> how long does it take for best to turn up my FR from 128 to 384?  like
  a day or so?
<PetrDoubt> About 5 minutes, I think.  Now ask how long PacBell takes.

#17271 +(981)- [X]

<Tetrad> the program I just wrote 1) compiled the first time without any errors and 2) worked like it was supposed to
<Tetrad> I don't know whether to be proud or scared to death

#20924 +(294)- [X]

<Chebarak> dude where you live?
<Ildefonse> i live in the netherlands
<Chebarak> right
<Chebarak> so where you live ?

#25572 +(46)- [X]

<unknown> A Blow Job Is Better Then No Job...

#46313 +(382)- [X]

Rangsk: I'm watching a movie and I hit some key by accident... dunno which
Mmytacism: haha
Rangsk: and all the sudden something seems... not right
Rangsk: after about a minute I realize that the sound is going 2x as fast but the video is still going 1x
Mmytacism: hahahahaha
Rangsk: and I'm like... wtf... why would someone program that as a FEATURE?

#46431 +(134)- [X]

* Admiral_Justin shoves vex into /dev/null
* Vex Quit (Connection reset by peer)

#47633 +(235)- [X]

<milenko> brand new gaming pc $2500
<milenko> upgrades to play the latest games $500
<milenko> losing your girlfriend  $0  
<milenko> having a state of the art rig and spending all of your time bumming around on irc with other losers just like you PRICELESS

#49298 +(266)- [X]

<Tetsubo> ever wish you could just start life over cause you didn't know what to do the first time around and messed it all up?
<Tetsubo> why doesn't real life have a tutorial mode?

#54264 +(216)- [X]

<Que> i don't mind talking
<Que> but having pictures of my penis online
<Que> yeah, not safe
<Throttle-OSX> nah, havin yer cock and yer face in the same pic is not safe ;)
<Odin> lol
<Throttle-OSX> havin yer cock and yer exgirlfriends face in the same pics...now thats just funny

#60831 +(778)- [X]

#75229 +(181)- [X]

<Josh> Fenix, what program are you using to connect to IRC
<Fenix> program?
<Josh> yees
<Fenix> im not using one

#82049 +(24)- [X]

<[eep]matt> bearing in mind all rap songs are about sex, drugs, and how they were fucked up the arse as a child.. there aint much to choose from

#84402 +(296)- [X]

<drunkers> is your real name gabe?
<Gabe-33> yes
<drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?
<Gabe-33> no
<drunker> concider it

#100523 +(55)- [X]

<Vangalisk> Gawd, if that american idle twat got any heavier rotation her makeup is going to fly off her face in large cakes

#106393 +(575)- [X]

<evildoer> EXCERRENT
<Kitsa> what are you babbling on about?
<evildoer> EYE BOUGHT A NEW GITARE AND POLICE QUEST + SWAT COLACTIAN
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> ah
<evildoer> IT ES TEHS QUALETY GITIR FOR 5 DOLARS
<Kitsa> flea market?
<evildoer> yas
<Kitsa> what did you barter, your spelling ability?

#106851 +(630)- [X]

* Yugi_moto take out his card deck
  <DoesNotExist> Yu-Gi-Oh is fricking hilarious.
  <DoesNotExist> the hero's all like "I play my Blue Eyes White Dragon in defense position and attack!" and they all act like it was a stunning strategical move.
  <DoesNotExist> it's an overly dramatic version of a magic the gathering tournament, which makes it so hilarious.
  <Yugi_moto> I play black skull DRAGON IN ATACK MODE NOW BLACK SKULL Dragon ATTACK BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
  <Yugi_moto> ablterrate
  <DoesNotExist> and they EXPLAIN THE RULES BEHIND EVERY SINGLE MOVE.
  <DoesNotExist> "My blue eyes white dragon attacks... THE MOON!"
  <Yugi_moto> black skull dragon  has  3200 atack points blue Eyes white dragon has 3000 atack points i have the stronger monster by atack points that means you lose 200 life points
  <DoesNotExist> no, i play Mystical Swirling Hat Shield to counter that, which increases the Blue Eyes White Dragon's attack by 53...
  <Yugi_moto> I play pendulam machine
  <Yugi_moto> no
  <Yugi_moto> Mysticazl Elf does that
  <Yugi_moto> Mystical Elf
  <DoesNotExist> i play Flaming Sword of Cheesy Goodness on Blue Eyes White Dragon as my last move, increasing my BEWD's attack by a triumphant 3333 due to my cheescake i'm eating.
  <Yugi_moto> I sumon exiodea
  <Yugi_moto> autometic win
  <DoesNotExist> i play counterspell, discarding it.
  <Yugi_moto> yuoo cant
  <DoesNotExist> Yes i can. o_O
  * DoesNotExist holds up his counterspell.
  * DoesNotExist taps two islands...
  * DoesNotExist plays counterspell on exiodea...
  * DoesNotExist discards exiodea.,
  <DoesNotExist> Now then, i play...
  * DoesNotExist summons Sephiroth!
  <DoesNotExist> I summon Sephiroth in the Lance Bass position, which causes your black skull dragon to commit suicide from the terrible n*sync music.

#109385 +(291)- [X]

<@Phae> we could get a hooker, and patch it with a gf crack... then it'd be free,a nd you wouldn't have to register it

#118035 +(136)- [X]

<Nermal> the only way I could secure windows was by putting bars over my monitor

#127867 +(43)- [X]

<@Dock> I crushed my cpu
<@Dock> Worked though, so I didn't break it.
<+Arrowmaster> grr wtf
<+Arrowmaster> theres a reason its called a ZIF socket
<@Dock> ZIF my ass.
<ASk> a ZIF ass?
<ASk> that's a treasure, man
<ASk> just think of all the possibilities

#138652 +(30)- [X]

<Vikki> everyone send me more pics of you all :)
<Vikki> lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag
* Vikki was kicked by Vikki (stop flooding)

#147236 +(206)- [X]

<-yptosis> Hey, I took a picture of my wang like df did. Let me upload it.
<-yptosis> It'll take a bit, it is a 9 meg file.

#176261 +(939)- [X]

<crfh_> I just witnessed the weirdest threesome ever
<Invictus> ?
<TheBlackCupid> ...
<ShadesFox> oh?
<Strangeone> Larry, Moe and Curly?
<Reltzik-CodingForDearLife> .... Ooo..... kay....
<crfh_> My cat, another cat, and a POSSUM

#187110 +(1573)- [X]

paper: shit
paper: flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?!
paper: shit i gotta warn bob

#199293 +(467)- [X]

<davidr> w00t! I installed a camera and a monitor ... the cam points at my door so I don't have to turn my head to see if somebody opens the door
<iku> ;D
<davidr> and now I'll start recording everything so I don't even have to listen to my family, I'll just watch it when I have time

#253362 +(986)- [X]

(@Aircraftkiller) I want a drum of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) They're only like $50 I think, full barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) I just want the barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) Then
(@Aircraftkiller) When someone comes over, and asks you "hey dude, is that a drum of oil? Real oil?" You can say "Yeah. Where's YOUR oil?"
(@Aircraftkiller) Because real men own oil.

#329553 +(1283)- [X]

#452197 +(1100)- [X]

<karl> where is everyone?
<Kayote_G> Well I'm trying to explain to my (now ex) girlfriend why I own a porn site.
<Kayote_G> :'(

#486091 +(1334)- [X]

<finch|a> pie; if you sued for getting a tattoo, you're a fucking idiot. about as stupid as sueing someone for an accident
<Zachery> finch, never been to the states?
<finch|a> no

#635274 +(1753)- [X]

#737075 +(491)- [X]

n3xg3n> weird... i just found this: Walker Texas Ranger is an anagram for Karate Wrangler Sex

#814751 +(616)- [X]

<negev> Have a good time on Friday?
<Sefrian> got proper fucked up
<Sefrian> started seeing binary on the fuckin walls
<negev> lawl
<Sefrian> you know you're a geek when you hallucinate binary

#835023 +(-281)- [X]

<Ceru> when my sister went to the hospital, the bill was $11,000
<Ceru> the insurance company had a major fit
<R3mix> what did she go there for? O_o
<Ceru> she drowned

#835536 +(1257)- [X]

<korn> yeah so i got into ITT tech today
<possible> what did you have to do?
<possible> open the door?
<korn> up yours man

#930784 +(449)- [X]

<mindbomb> anytime anyone refers to themselves as a 'foodie' I want to knock their fucking teeth out
<mindbomb> oh you like to eat food that tastes good? congratufuckinglations
<mindbomb> blog about it

0.0377 20958 quotes approved; 4413 quotes pending
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