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#559 +(283)- [X]

[05:45pm] [+xvize] yea aol's supposed to be harder to trace

#1322 +(537)- [X]

<MadMAxJr> they should replace /kick with /stab

#1351 +(464)- [X]

<slyfox> lol
<slyfox> dude! I typed "lol" with my head!!!

#2898 +(74)- [X]

<XxDeThxX> thats what the sperm whales do..they check out the females then all the males rub against eachother til they spooge

#3413 +(216)- [X]

[DigDug] wow, i was so dehydrated this morning...
[DigDug] i took a piss and it looked like there was an egg yolk coming out of my penis

#5304 +(3010)- [X]

<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'

#6998 +(232)- [X]

<enojy> im gonna tell my parents im a father so i get a present on sunday

#7436 +(309)- [X]

<DangerousBeauty> do u seeing me giving two fucks?
<Phuser> i see you giving everyone fucks

#7443 +(553)- [X]

<`]{rAzY]`> My penis is so big that when black men look at it, they say "Hey man, you got a big penis"
<dubdope> krazy... why do you have black men looking at your penis?
<dubdope> plus krazy.. how do they know what your penis looks like when they have you bent over?

#7888 +(205)- [X]

<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/

#8125 +(513)- [X]

<Avatar> who are you
<harold> oh fuck off avatar. i see you've found another channel to ban n00bs in :)
<Avatar> oh good, we've met

#8197 +(603)- [X]

<er0s> you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life, and that's when i thought i was wrong but was actually right.

#8866 +(364)- [X]

<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know

#14860 +(684)- [X]

[01:03am] ĚctĚ last night
[01:03am] ĚctĚ my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] ĚctĚ and she walks back in
[01:03am] ĚctĚ and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ĚctĚ and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ĚctĚ and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] ĽNecroĽ ...

#15730 +(177)- [X]

<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for AllYour
<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for BaseAre
<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for Belong2Us
* depresso falls over
<depresso> those were actual klines that just poped up on my screen

#18161 +(160)- [X]

<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)

#28690 +(196)- [X]

<Falsity> tricks are fo kids
<ircbuddy> And hookers.

#33736 +(104)- [X]

<@PookHappy> Clinique invisible skin remover
<@PookHappy> for when you really want to show off your cranium!

#34221 +(11)- [X]

*** Armagon has quit IRC (Quit: [07:45pm] ĚDide_BotĚ I last saw Bel's ass, I think it got sold on ebay 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours 37 minutes 55 seconds ago.)

#37334 +(259)- [X]

<FairchildDrumr> Damn the internet.
<FairchildDrumr> It gives you easy access to lots of great women that are not easilly accesable.

#37364 +(-39)- [X]

<Trivzor-Bot>  oth.247. Category:If you live in the northern hemisphere, Polaris, the North Star, can be found be looking in which direction?
<Trivzor-Bot>  1st Hint: *****   Question Value : 18 Points
<PCG-Digipak> north
<Trivzor-Bot>  YES, PCG-Digipak!!!  got the answer ->  north <-  in  9.564  secs, and gets  18  Points

#38336 +(762)- [X]

<dudeXIII> you guys hear about that sniper in washington?
<dudeXIII> camping bitch D:

#40027 +(73)- [X]

<Griffin> my dicks not that long
<Griffin> eyeglasses should do
<pagan> so you cant see your cock with the nakid eye?

#41614 +(67)- [X]

<MrMortisland> I know emo
<MrMortisland> Emo is little boys crying on stage because their daddy touched their pee pee

#44820 +(1057)- [X]

<Mime> You had sex with the little mermaid!?
<PeeTree> hahaha
<Phyresis> that's gross
<Phyresis> does she even have a... a...
<Phyresis> does it smell like people?

#51382 +(640)- [X]

*  magicsmoke  returns with a mug of coffee that is still almost black after adding milk
kiri : lol
kiri : that's some heavey coffee then
magicsmoke : i could say that the spoon is standing up in it..
magicsmoke : but i can't see the spoon. i think it's dissolved
Alpha1 : There is no spoon

#57086 +(877)- [X]

*** Psy is now known as PSG
*** Signoff: PSG (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by Amulya)))
*** Psy (Psy@cloaked.tnt73.nyc3.da.uu.net) has joined channel #penny-arcade
*** Mode change "+v Psy" for channel #penny-arcade by ChanServ
*** Psy is now known as PSG
*** Signoff: PSG (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by Amulya)))
*** Psy (Psy@cloaked.tnt73.nyc3.da.uu.net) has joined channel #penny-arcade
*** Mode change "+v Psy" for channel #penny-arcade by ChanServ
*** Psy is now known as PSG
*** Signoff: PSG (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by Amulya)))
<Anatole> You know, a lab mouse would have learned by now.

#80833 +(168)- [X]

<cyberia> anybody know how to hack banks

#82089 +(816)- [X]

* Alpaca is listening to : Celine Dion - Where Does My Heart Beat Now.mp3
<Alpaca> NOOOOOOOOOO
<Alpaca> STUPID SCRIPT

#86421 +(208)- [X]

<CodeMason> I never sleep.
<CodeMason> I just lapse into alcohol-induced catatonia on a regular basis.

#108657 +(95)- [X]

[Pete] pulling out the bad HD now.
[-QUIT-] - Pete[-Peter@hartmut-82lgcgo.mphknet.ca-] - smeg.hub.us.striked.org devil.bc.ca.striked.org

#109376 +(836)- [X]

<@deez> yeah there's like 6 of us... with the same sense of humor in here
<Skail> who's using it now?

#114352 +(2251)- [X]

Spoon35: http://www.oddworldz.com/fmweekly/kellypinup.jpg
SenorWeird: who?
Momog: hehe
SenorWeird: who is that?
Momog: kelly hu = the wolverine chick from xmen
SenorWeird: Kelly who?
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly?
Momog: heh
Momog: it's a trap!
SenorWeird: Just tell me the chick's name. It's Kelly what?
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: ?!
SenorWeird: The chick you just posted a picture of!
Spoon35: Hu
SenorWeird: That's what I wanna know! Kelly who!
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: So it's Kelly Exactly!
* Marty11 Laughs in the strange confusion
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: The girl in the picture you posted is Kelly Exactly
Momog: Hu, Kelly.
Momog: HA!
SenorWeird: Yes, Kelly, Momog.
Spoon35: Kelly Momog??
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly
Momog: doh
SenorWeird: Okay, you know what? Forget this.
SenorWeird: Let's talk about that hot chick in Mulholland Drive and The Ring.
SenorWeird: What's her name?
Momog: who?
SenorWeird: her name
Spoon35: Watts.
SenorWeird: yes, I think my question was quite clear.
Spoon35: Watts.
* Momog covers his ears and screams
SenorWeird: are you not understanding me?
SenorWeird: Who is the chick from The Ring?
Spoon35: I think I understand. you want to know Watts.
SenorWeird: Not What, who. Who is the chick from The Ring.
Spoon35: no, Watts is the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Who is?
Spoon35: no, she was in X2
SenorWeird: What?!
Spoon35: exactly.
SenorWeird: Exactly was in X2. okay.
SenorWeird: so then Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: Hu was.
SenorWeird: Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: no. Watts was in the Ring. Hu was in X2.
SenorWeird: Exactly. Now, let's get back to the Ring. What's that chick's name?
Spoon35: watts.
SenorWeird: okay, I'm lost.
SenorWeird: What's the name of the chick from X2?
Spoon35: no, Watts is the name of the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Forget about the ring. I don't want to hear about Who was in the ring.
Spoon35: watts
SenorWeird: Am I not clear? Who was in X2?
Spoon35: yes.
SenorWeird: Yes?
SenorWeird: Yes what?
Spoon35: Yes Hu! No Watts.
SenorWeird: ....
SenorWeird: What?!
Momog: i am logging this and using it as blackmail against you both
SenorWeird: oh, this is either genius or stupidity.

#147279 +(178)- [X]

* hunterkll kneels and prays liek a good knight
<hunterkll> hunterkll: you have earned 10 virtue points and 5 strengthpoints
<hunterkll> and access to two hints
<hunterkll> heh :D
<jgannon> However, you still have -8 charisma.

#149419 +(223)- [X]

<fly> i need a life out side of sex
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> funny
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> most people want it the other way around

#162595 +(1240)- [X]

<Mary> will you come to my friend from schools engagement party?
<John> where?
<Mary> hamilton
<John> when?
<Mary> this Saturday
<John> no.
<Mary> Please?? why not?
<John> I dont know her and it will suck
<Mary> You can dance with me!
<John> :)/-<  <-- Me
<John> :)-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)|-<  <-- Me
<John> :)|-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)-<  <-- Me
<John> :)/-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)|-<  <-- Me
<John> :)|-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> Me -->  8====D~ O:  <--- You
<Mary> thats cute!
<John> if you only knew, babe.
<Mary> knew what?? HEY whats the last part mean?

#162647 +(502)- [X]

absorb: seamus
absorb: why
absorb: dont
absorb: you
absorb: kiss
absorb: my big
absorb: DICK
absorb: you bitchass pussylift
Seamus: absorb: because your dick is about as long as your average message length

#189209 +(259)- [X]

<aux_> i got gigs like i got ladies
<c0al> ? ur hard drive crashed/
<c0al> ??

#193399 +(264)- [X]

<SumGeye> I met God once.
<Bern> Ok...
<SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like whiskey.

#245967 +(915)- [X]

<ecks> I'm so virgin, there isn't even a word to describe how much sex I have not had.

#329897 +(647)- [X]

volume Maxed out: it's fun talking to "suicidal" chicks
volume Maxed out: because they always make the silliest excuses
volume Maxed out: for why they haven't succeeded in their attempts
volume Maxed out: and i give them like
volume Maxed out: every tried and true suicide method
volume Maxed out: including really simple and painless ones
volume Maxed out: and they make up the dumbest excuses
volume Maxed out: like
volume Maxed out: start a car in a garage
volume Maxed out: and sit back
volume Maxed out: and theyre like
volume Maxed out: i dont have a car
volume Maxed out: or
volume Maxed out: my parents wont let me use their car or something
volume Maxed out: and i'm like
volume Maxed out: bitch your gunna die who gives a shit

#406373 +(11704)- [X]

<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

#414327 +(435)- [X]

<HF|CM_Krayakin> but come on bio, the chances of you getting a girlfriend are what? 0?
<Biolution> no i had one in the sims
<Biolution> actually, i'm gonna go download the sims 2, that way i can get lots of girlfriends
<Biolution> and i'm going to get the british version
<Biolution> that way the girls have that sexy brit accent when they talk dirty to me
<HF|CM_Krayakin> they don't talk in the sims2
<Biolution> they will when i'm sitting alone simulbating

#461874 +(409)- [X]

<Brock> Work work work!
<Brock> That's all I do for me
<Brock> You'd think I'd pay me in something other than handjobs.

#673145 +(320)- [X]

Dudespunk7: 90% of domestic abuse happens due to shitty compaq products.
Dudespunk7: They don't want to ruin their expensive shit so they take it out on the wife, or kids.
Famethrow1: and because that bitch doesn't vacuum.
Dudespunk7: Exactly.

#713158 +(981)- [X]

A> I lost my virginity around 5 years ago.
Rice> Virgin by choice
Random> heh
Pork> Whose choice Rice?

#714195 +(727)- [X]

<Tom86> can i ask you a personal question?
<MoHaWk> 8 inches

#742204 +(410)- [X]

<@dekkon> ive got an appointment at the eye doctor on the 13th
<@dekkon> finally going to get contacts
<@terminal_> contacts are a pain in the ass
<+jmx> terminal they go in your eyes

#756762 +(2693)- [X]

The Fishchaser: we should tell the japaneese we found a planet full of giant tentacle monsters and their females are somehow little school girls
The Fishchaser: we'll be going faster than the speed of light in a week

#756793 +(-18)- [X]

<tigrow> if u think its getting to hot masterman
<tigrow> put water on it
<tigrow> use icewater
<tigrow> they need that the first 2 hours or so
<Crimpy> dont forget to jam knives into the back while you do it
<Sacred_> you guys are mean
<Sacred_> yer gonna fuck his box up
<Sacred_> use olive oil

0.0612 21064 quotes approved; 411 quotes pending
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