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#2571 +(245)- [X]

Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?

#4337 +(201)- [X]

<Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default
<Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully body kit :)

#4850 +(952)- [X]

<TittiesMcEarmuffs> ( . )^_^( . )

#10486 +(466)- [X]

<cj_> we lost 20,000 rows of customer data
<Twid> cj: eek!
<Twid> I hope the innocent were blamed.
<Kin-San> 20k? holy...
<cj_> we blamed the guy that didn't come in today.
<Kin-San> lol
<Twid> good.  as long as normal business procedures were followed

#30504 +(258)- [X]

<+emul8or_> http://www.nylug.org/images/adler_images/linux_nylug_booth.jpg
<+kritical`> damn look at them linux people
<+kritical`> are they ever gonna get a woman???
<+emul8or_> maybe if they pool their money

#33678 +(125)- [X]

<+Link-> <skitzm> i have a serious prob with my quake 3 please helP!
<+Link-> why do people instintively pm me for help on q3?
<+Link-> i have a serious problem with my q3 as well
<+Link-> it sucks.

#34421 +(129)- [X]

KoG_Work> God damn it... "the westbound backup to the toll plaza is horrible! west 80 is slow from central, 580 jams up from lakeshore, and north 880 is slow from the grand avenue curve. the metering lights are on, and traffic on the upper deck is slow from the incline into san francisco" ~_~
* KoG_Work ponders taking the 92...
<KoG_Work> if it's backed up to lakeshore, can't even make a detour to Ikea like I normally do!
<St0rmD> you go to the furniture store so much you have detours and shortcuts to get there?
<DishHole> maybe ikea has a drive-through

#36780 +(209)- [X]

·Serfer· Let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
·pHluid· 10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead and grease up.
·Serfer· Not enough time.
·pHluid· Must be a lot of you to grease.

#37714 +(220)- [X]

<TwiggYGoD> you have all the movies in .rm format, dont you?
<Hiroechan> rm blows goats
<Hiroechan> you don't want it
<TwiggYGoD> yes i do
<TwiggYGoD> it's the smallest format
<TwiggYGoD> and if i want it different, i'll use a converter
<TwiggYGoD> but i myself, PREFER rm
<Hiroechan> you *PREFER* Rm?
<TwiggYGoD> yes
<TwiggYGoD> best visual quality i've seen yet
<Hiroechan> okay, now this is some funny shit
<TwiggYGoD> i hate avi and asf and mpg
<Hiroechan> do you use a Mac?

#38235 +(-95)- [X]

<Powie> When sucking my dad I know which women in the family are pregnant, and which are in their period

#42678 +(365)- [X]

<danhon> overheard in the lab:
<danhon> "try doing javac first before you do java"
<Cringer> hahaha
<danhon> "what does that do?"
<danhon> "dunno, but it works"

#43005 +(208)- [X]

<+Sythro00> Omg this is so messed up. I keep taking this gender test at http://test.thespark.com/gendertest/ and it keeps coming up with that it's 86% sure I am a girl, WTF
<@Jed-> Sythro00: maybe its right..
<+Sythro00> No thats whats so scrwewed up. I am totaly right-winger, heck I collect Glocks for the love of god

#43801 +(33)- [X]

<_MADMAN> i went to my first AA meetings last night
<_MADMAN> i had a good time
<wasting> african american club?

#46001 +(72)- [X]

<vic> isn't the jackass movie what got a kid to burn himself
<Hypnotoad> well nothing makes you do things to yourself...but if he copyed it then prolly is jackass yea :)
<Hypnotoad> have to be very fucking dumb...like G. Bush st00pid to copy the things they do
<Hypnotoad> feeding aligators with your arse isnt something i would copy :D..nor is getting shot with a .12 gauge riot gun
<Gothmog> darwin's spinning in his grave about now :)

#46461 +(20)- [X]

<miv>   http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm
<miv>   final meals of people who are on death row
<miv>   "Justice, Equality, World Peace"
<miv>   what kind of request is that
<miv>   U CANT EAT THAT! moron
<miv>   if it was me i would have asked for a 6 year old japanese girl
<miv>   i'd eat her out

#50201 +(144)- [X]

<Speed3D> FUCKING HELL...its bad enough that Im struggling at drawing, but now there's some neighbours partaking in some fucking aweful karaoke!
<wsmp|phrack> D:
<wsmp|phrack> want me to take them out?
<Speed3D> how?
<wsmp|phrack> well
<wsmp|phrack> Ill turn up
<wsmp|phrack> and take them to dinner
<wsmp|phrack> on my bmx
<wsmp|phrack> take them out to some russian restuarant
<Speed3D> not quite what I had in mind
<Speed3D> I was thinking more along the lines of Death from 1001 papercuts
<wsmp|phrack> hmmm
<Speed3D> with the use of iodine
<wsmp|phrack> I think I could arrange a beating to death witha teaspoon
<wsmp|phrack> but paper cuts are hard :(

#51045 +(47)- [X]

<nix-> -17/30- <intrinsic> We can't talk anymore, okay?
<nix-> -17/31- <intrinsic> Because of certain circumstances.
<nix-> -17/31- <nix-> Which are?
<Jon-> wtf?
<Jon-> she has problems?
<nix-> ermm
<nix-> interesting
<Jon-> shes prolly a guy and now he feels guilty

#51830 +(527)- [X]

<Red_Sky> We'll call it "Shut the hell up", and you'll go first. 
<Red_Sky> Now, the object of this game, Deos, is to shut the hell up.
<Red_Sky> You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner.

#54029 +(365)- [X]

<Torontoye> Hi guys,. i have a P90 24mg Ram,.I would like to make it a gateway,. how much Swap space should i give it??
<afterstep> Torontoye: 24 milligrams of ram?
<afterstep> oh, i'd say about an ounce or so of swap.

#61370 +(201)- [X]

<Fredu|mega_sad> vodka would keep us warm
<k2tu> so would stroh 80 :P
<dr_dna> so would not drinking outside in freezing temperatures

#62799 +(497)- [X]

<Gudrow> being a virgin at 25 is one thing, being a FEMALE virgin at 25 is...unheard of...except in cases of gross physical deformity
<Al> I don't know any 25 year old male virgins either
<Gudrow> you're sitting in a channel full of people who are well on their way
<Al> Gudrow: good point

#72225 +(229)- [X]

<koitsu> you know you're doomed when a COMPUTER matches you up with a she-male.

#76012 +(144)- [X]

<SkeleFoDoh> this bot sucks ass
<tony|werk> i wish it did

#80627 +(297)- [X]

<Schroe> Christ, I don't know how those girls think their bones are so attractive.
<TheNintenGenius> Attack of the Super Thin
<TheNintenGenius> Of course, they're easily defeated. Just tell them they're fat.

#81250 +(209)- [X]

<CrypticB> I heard the funniest quote on the radio on the way home
<CrypticB> that they are using surgical strikes on military targets only, and only those military targets that wish to fight, and not the soldiers who don't want to fight....
<CrypticB> how do you determine that?
<wo1f> they spin crucifixes and bomb in whichever direction jesus' feet point

#87751 +(772)- [X]

<revmoo> download the cky movies, they are a lot better
<ImpLin> where i get those?
<revmoo> kazza mart
<ImpLin> wheres that?
<Geoff-> at the corner of kazzalite and google
<ImpLin> what town?
<Geoff-> takingthistoofar, USA

#99683 +(159)- [X]

<Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to label him gay ^_^
<dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
<DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with what looks like pudding.
<DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.

#103985 +(341)- [X]

<M4`Shock> i was talkin to these fine ladies
<M4`Shock> and i sorta put my head down
<M4`Shock> and puked quickly and continued my conversation
<M4`Shock> they barely noticed

#105159 +(237)- [X]

<Batty> Darth Vader is Lukes father!
<Batty> and father in dutch = vader
<Borlath_Mon> ...yeeeeeees
<Batty> So he's darth father!
<Borlath_Mon> So? George Lucas wasn't counting on Star Wars fans to be clever enough to speak any language other than "Trailer Trash".

#136355 +(240)- [X]

<mReD> wtf happend to that blaster virus
<mReD> did microsoft get attacked
<]Oxygen[> they pointed www.windowsupdate.com somewhere else
<]Oxygen[> what they should have done is point it at apple.com

#136366 +(983)- [X]

<KoKaiNo> i just got pwnd what does that mean?

#177472 +(972)- [X]

<timovgod> Q: How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
<timovgod> A: Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out.
<enaz> did your insurance cover it timovgod?
<timovgod> My car insurance covered it, I said I had I broken tail light.

#195132 +(618)- [X]

<Eck> British Prime Minister: I hope this can signal a reconciliation and a unity of the Iraqi people meaning freedom and hope for the people against whom the atrocities have been committed etc.
<Eck> American Guy: WE GOT HIM! YEAAAAHHHH!!!!!

#239455 +(556)- [X]

[@Killer2{SoB}] WTF
[@Killer2{SoB}] Stupid CNN
[@Killer2{SoB}] "PHILADELPHIA, PA—Researchers at the University of Temple announced yesterday that they had finally discovered a cure for nicotine addicts: smoking cigarettes."
[@Killer2{SoB}] "The only way to effectively fight the cravings associated with the highly-addictive drug, nicotine, is to give your body its supply of desired nicotine, via smoking another cigarette. Smoking allows the nicotine found in cigarettes to travel to your brain in just seven seconds, effectively satisfying the craving.""

#252759 +(587)- [X]

<DuTcHiN> This dude at my work had red hair so we call him santa.
<XtACY> ???????
<DuTcHiN> Well he obviously has a red sack

#384495 +(436)- [X]

<Mansion_Maniac> I just realized something
<TheEnforcer> ??
<Phone> ??
<Mansion_Maniac> if you renamed "humans" as "Terrans"; "aliens" as "Zerg"; and "Predators" as "Protoss", the new Aliens vs. Predator movie would totally be a movie adaptation of StarCraft.

#540271 +(2478)- [X]

<tennisgh22> i was watching this porn and the girl keeps goinng "see!!! see?!!!! seeeee?!!!!"
<tennisgh22> and i was like wtf see what?
<tennisgh22> but then i realized
<tennisgh22> it was in spanish :(

#627287 +(613)- [X]

<NG-Buddhist> I found something humorously racist on Friday
<NG-Buddhist> I was reading a magazine from my English room after my exam, about the most influential people of the last 50 years
<NG-Buddhist> and various pictures were cut out, but i didnt think about it
<NG-Buddhist> then i got to the back of the book, and someone glued in Rosa Park's picture of her sitting there

#631850 +(757)- [X]

Tammy: julia is having to cancel lunch, her uncle was murdered
tladd: :O
Tammy: you want to do lunch :)
tladd: sure.

#639759 +(478)- [X]

< ElAngelo> it's about the most survival city i've been in in the US
< RedKennedy> survival isn't an adjective.

#649536 +(244)- [X]

<NCommander> Its nothing like coming back from a two month vacation, and discovering a surprise in the toliet
<g4lt-U60> TMI
<g4lt-U60> in fact, you've left the TMI thoroughfare and entered the "why the fuck do you have free speech" turnpike
<NCommander> g4lt-U60: I didn't say that surprise was shit.

#706323 +(1247)- [X]

<TMH_> does anyone else find that they are in a fuckton of channels
<TMH_> and they only actually care about two or three
<jmx> define a fuckton?
<Thuryn> ten times a buttload
<LPF> that's a metric fuckton

#720959 +(586)- [X]

disturbed c0w: but jesus
disturbed c0w: how can you read all of bash
disturbed c0w: thats like reading the dictionary except cock is in there a lot of times

#742547 +(1212)- [X]

<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay

#760806 +(1418)- [X]

<[18s]> i accidentally went to 'bach.org' instead of bash
<[18s]> and i found some sweet tunes.

#831458 +(1479)- [X]

evilada: damn girls are too confusing about what they want from guys
lantern: Well they certainly know what they dont want
lantern: see now i'm tall, but not athletic, i don't have a full head of hair
lantern: so bam three strikes
evilada: girls dont work like baseball
evilada: if they did, everyone would cheer if you stole second base when no one was looking
evilada: and thats the complete opposite of what happens, trust me

#880252 +(-101)- [X]

jessejames: i love pooping
jessejames: it is so relaxing
CutiePieNerd: your so strange
jessejames: no like all guys like pooping
CutiePieNerd: haha
jessejames: it like theonly time we can relax without being nagged by the women
jessejames: cuz they are all afraid of poop

#882107 +(2306)- [X]

<Alucard> is the reason r2-d2 beeps so much because someone fucked up the alsa drivers?

#913842 +(-578)- [X]

T: that Haitian earthquake is a bad one
T: even the Presidential Palace was destroyed
c: Yeah, nothing was left but two wheels and an axle

#952948 +(1254)- [X]

<gmaxwell> 1960: "I have a great idea! lets have every person in the country carry a radio tracking beacon!" "That'll never fly!"  2012: "I can has TWO iphones??"

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