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#757 +(100)- [X]

<Primus> does any1 know how to tell just by looking, what size a RAM chip is?

#950 +(666)- [X]

(Amakusa) ALF and Catwoman snuff porn crossover
(Amakusa) I'm afraid that when I make stuff up like that, it really exists out there somewhere ;(

#1596 +(455)- [X]


#1704 +(1012)- [X]

<tress> I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

#1870 +(428)- [X]

<timmo> id like to make a movie with just different ways of [John Travolta] dying

#2261 +(363)- [X]

<Saffio> I went to microsoft sales training
<Saffio> they gave it to me there [windows XP]
<eldee> Saffio: so did i.. they gave me a laptop case/bookbag thing and office XP pro :)
<eldee> Saffio: the laptop case is sweet... but it has "microsoft licensing agent" embroidered on the back of it... im worried if i wear it in public, i'll get assassinated
<kable> should have told them "no thanks, i downloaded the pro version"

#3302 +(191)- [X]

<nitrifik_> I ROFL:ed :|
<nitrifik_> I need to get off IRC.

#3580 +(357)- [X]

<Slant> Easy way to figure out which episodes Slant likes:
<Slant> for x in StarTrek.Episodes[]
<Slant> if (x.liked_by_everyone)
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = TRUE;
<Slant> else
<Slant> Slant.likes_episode[x] = FALSE;
<Slant> no wait.
<mightyflo> hahahahahahahaha
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = FALSE;
<animegoth> lol
<FutabaAoi> so you hate all of tng!
<mightyflo> it's funny when you can debug someone's real life code

#3842 +(232)- [X]

<Ash> Op me so hard.

#4971 +(291)- [X]

<joey`> clay...doy you know anything about networking
<clay> yes
<clay> the rj45 pee pee goes into the nic pee pee, joey

#8940 +(160)- [X]

«@MegaFrogg» wow... these spammers sure are subtle
«@MegaFrogg» [%] added [GIVE_ME_UR_PUSSY] (*!*getrjtjty@203.135.12.*) to the Shitlist

#10718 +(208)- [X]

HiTtHiS2002 : i'd drive by with all the neons on... and guys everywhere in a 1/4 mile radius would run to the nearest bathroom to nut one
BeHeMoTh101 : who needs a bathroom
BeHeMoTh101 : that's why god invented pants

#16173 +(174)- [X]

*** Topic of #3fs: How to determine how many people are idling in #3fs channel. Take the total number of chatters and multiply by one.
*** Set by Ziggurat!Hipnotoad@xtreme9-126.aci.on.ca 1061 minutes ago

#16543 +(375)- [X]

<Pest> i was talking to a gurl at school
<Pest> her name was nicole
<Koen> heh :)
<Pest> she was like how are you doing today
<Pest> i went
<Pest> well im alright..but id be better if someone named nicole was slobbing my knob
<Koen> rofl
<Koen> :(
<Pest> she smacked me
<Pest> :/

#17009 +(632)- [X]

<jonathans> i can stand on the sides of my ankles
<jonathans> both heels inward
<jonathans> i can balance on one for a bit
<clay> i can touch my penis with my hands

#22149 +(18)- [X]

<Unit01> [Animepix]: go get all your little fairy friends and tell them

#26590 +(733)- [X]

<Greywolf2001ca> I formatted my drive because NWN wouldn't work online for me today.
<Nafoi> Uh dude they took the Master Server down for maitnence no one can play online...
<Greywolf2001ca> ....FUCK

#34049 +(40)- [X]

<andy> there's a total of 3 pelvic orofices in that pool. And only two people.
<andy> There's plenty of room.

#36633 +(293)- [X]

<@PrincessEvil2> <high school student> omg cleavage! i have never seen that before! usually the porn on my computer has chicks completely naked
<@Vekt0r-X> guess what i got in my hand right now?
<@PrincessEvil2> dont ask that right after i mention porn

#40247 +(107)- [X]

<^Jenn^> hard to find good landlords that work with you
<Glyolis> Your landlord works for McDonalds?

#41289 +(95)- [X]

* Ethiopian is now away: away eating
* Ethiopian is now known as Ethiopian_eating

#41536 +(146)- [X]

<toe2toe> what would happen is you were MEANT to type "prosecution is pressing for maximum sentencing on the count of vehicular manslaughter"....but ACTUALLY typed "the judge licks penis"
<Jade_Vixen> If i was a legal secretay, this might all be a problem...
<toe2toe> thats a pretty big if
<toe2toe> perhaps you and your IF would like to come back to my place one day
<toe2toe> and i can show you my big "perhaps"
<Jade_Vixen> I can't spell for crap tonight... :P
* Jade_Vixen rolls her eyes
<Spizzer> ROFL toe2toe ur such a clown
<toe2toe> im crying on the inside.

#41884 +(262)- [X]

<Wayne-aw> 99.9% of the time, the problem lies between the keyboard and the chair.

#47307 +(237)- [X]

<lech> porn and programming, what could be better
<antiuser> hmm, a real girl?
<lech> well that's the source

#47949 +(185)- [X]

<punchcard> a little application logic goes a long way
<DomMac> indeed I can see the possibilities for problems with that being pretty great unless the programmer took his time in designing the app. Since it is MS, one never really knows do they?
<punchcard> hang on, I gotta take a nap after reading that long-ass sentence

#50941 +(88)- [X]

* nick > Stalkaout is now known as Stalkachu
<@Miz> and where have you been?
<@Cheez> considering hes at university hes probably been out drinking / getting stoned / getting laid
<@Miz> considering its Stalkeh i'd wager not
<@Cheez> LOL

#53706 +(500)- [X]

<StuGhattz> I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a handjob for being so good.

#73148 +(1315)- [X]

<Jester|TV> im not much of a programming fan...but i guess my teacher was a dumb biatch which is why
<Jester|TV> well theres some programming in the telecomm as well
<Martel> I'd never done real programming until first year
<Martel> I like how the word programming lined up 3 times
<Martel> YES!
<Martel> 4

#75185 +(233)- [X]

<Gothmog> ive got this to say for that pool after about 10:30 at night
<Gothmog> its absolutely fucking freezing
<Zen> arg
<Zen> ur nuts
<Gothmog> yeah they were freezing too

#84409 +(146)- [X]

<wizards23> anyone get the game madden 2003 from k-mart like me ?
<drunkers> dont ever say that out loud
<wizards23> what that i got madden?
<drunkers> no that you shop at k-mart

#99044 +(150)- [X]

<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh

#105772 +(297)- [X]

* Wes *rimjob*
(Wes): er
* Wes *rimshot*

#111571 +(418)- [X]

<Tonberry> MPs do the same thing on a military base as regular cops do in a city
<metaldark> harass blacks and skaters?

#127272 +(2936)- [X]

<FunFun> We're gonna go eat at this new restaurant opened by this Japanese family tonite...any suggestions on what to order?
<tilted_halo> order bukkake...and ask for a bowl of unko...they'll be impressed and stuff
<Rowan_Knights> dont forget some chitsu...
<FunFun> Thanks!
<tilted_halo> and when the waiter comes to your table say the following: "Atashi katai hakebune no otoko ga suki!"
<FunFun> What does that mean?
<tilted_halo> it's a greeting...
<FunFun> Alrighty I'll be back in a while!
***QUITS: FunFun(Laters!!!)
<MagiTek> I know bukkake, what else did you 2 tell him ?
<Rowan_Knights> Well...I told him to order some vagina...
<tilted_halo> unko means shit and that 'greeting' means "I like a man with a hard dick"
<MagiTek> Bwahahaha...I wish I could be there...
<tilted_halo> We all do...

#136942 +(353)- [X]

(OvrLrd-Q) my longest pw was a case sensitive @ 26
(killjoy) i never use long ones.
(OvrLrd-Q) easily breakable by a slightly modified dictionary though :)
(OvrLrd-Q) was
(OvrLrd-Q) weapon from game + weapon from game + beverage ingredient
(OvrLrd-Q) crap
(OvrLrd-Q) that reminds me
(OvrLrd-Q) that 'beverage ingredient' is my root pw for my *nix box
(killjoy) caffiene !?!?!?
• killjoy starts scanning ovrlrd's ip range
(OvrLrd-Q) WTF

#147549 +(650)- [X]

<klafka> Penis-enlargement pills contain a less-than-sexy dose of bacteria and other contaminants
<Tecato> What's some contaminants when it comes to a bigger penis?
<klafka> what if your penis turns green?
<Tecato> Will it be big?
<klafka> monstrous
<Tecato> Then you could name it Hulk.
<Tecato> And before you have sex you could scream "HULK SMASH!"

#200255 +(671)- [X]

<SSilver2k> he worked on a server called Servix in a college, he asked this girl to log into her "servix" terminal...you can see how that conversation went.

#218569 +(1124)- [X]


#239578 +(275)- [X]

<Tigs> does anyone have a ruler i can borrow?

#246624 +(477)- [X]

<Koban> "Coke"®, "Coca-Cola"®, "The Real Thing"©, "Always"©, "It"©, "Christmas"©, "Summer"©, "The Olympics"© and most other words are owned by the Coca-Cola® Corporation.

#577240 +(2157)- [X]

<spree> i wish i had a southern accent
<shy> gday mate
<videogameaholic> not that southern
<shy> hola amigo
<videogameaholic> getting closer
<shy> howdy yall
<videogameaholic> close enough

#578314 +(667)- [X]

<Rhett> yes yes, but that's bringing hyperbole into an argument that, while silly, remains grounded in fact
<moros|sreep> I'm not quite sure what hyperbole is, come to think of it..
<Rhett> it's where the ADD children have their football championship

#643564 +(608)- [X]

qreepyboris: However, I can tell you with authority that my French extra credit project is going to ROCK
qreepyboris: We're making a film of a few shortish skits in French
qreepyboris: And one of them is so awesome
qreepyboris: Schindler and Santa accidentally mix up their naughty and nice lists. :-)
qreepyboris: So Santa goes to all the Jews' houses and they're not there, 'cuz they're all in camps
qreepyboris: And I haven't read the whole script, but there is no way it can possibly be not funny

#708359 +(831)- [X]

NovaScotia > yes.. us Canadians.. always quiet.. clean.. keep to ourselves.. never bother anyone... sounds like how they always describe serial killers eh?

#739936 +(5206)- [X]

<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some shit
<Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit
<Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
<Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers"
<Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola

#809302 +(3074)- [X]

<Zyrjello> E-mail from my comp sci professor:
<Zyrjello> I want to be clear on this point, because several
<Zyrjello> people have asked me.
<Zyrjello> The release of HALO3, tonight, does NOT qualify
<Zyrjello> as a religious holiday.

#835080 +(2235)- [X]

<us98> hi
<us98> I've windows 98 installed on my computer
<Sygrke> ok
<us98> now i have a problem
<Sygrke> you repeat yourself dude

#881405 +(547)- [X]

xou: What's MMA?
syL: Mixed martial arts...basically grown men dryhumping in missonary position

#950879 +(318)- [X]

* Andaith has changed topic for #warble to: "Drought in the UK means:  It's still raining, but not as much as we'd like."

#961330 +(293)- [X]

<sikory> hmmm, people found a severed head in amsterdam
<sikory> police thinks that it might be connected to the headless body they found yesterday
<Gamah> sikory: well obviously it's not connected...

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