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#876 +(922)- [X]

* [obi-wan] is away, jedi meditation (sleep) [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
<blazemore> i wonder when n0m is gonna come down from his starwars trip
* [obi-wan] waves his hand in front of blazemore "i am not on a starwars trip"

#887 +(348)- [X]

<blazemore> don't make me press nine limp inches against your forehead and leave a sweaty red mark from the moist underside
<Nikki> sorry

#1932 +(531)- [X]

* Fry plays with his dead baby hand puppets.
<Fry> "I'm Dead."..."Me Too"

#3046 +(166)- [X]

<tomg> er I have no comment on this.
<tomg> :P
<Jumper> tomg: afraid of being quoted ? :P
<tomg> no, I'm afraid my mum will find the quotes :P

#3435 +(1118)- [X]

<Maxstah> i had a cable repair call at this arian nation nazi guys house today
<Maxstah> funny his name was joseph black
<Maxstah> i told him thats ironic
<Maxstah> he got pissed

#3600 +(271)- [X]

<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy

#3869 +(214)- [X]

<Hoosier55> does anyone know where i can get a modchip installed cuz i hate to solder does best buy do it?

#4474 +(-163)- [X]

<resident> Africa is a mix of clit-choppin' negroes, godforsaken deserts, and maneating plants.

#4771 +(-165)- [X]

<ToiletDuk> i want to meet a 2 year old with no gag reflex

#5542 +(1816)- [X]

[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ

#8660 +(224)- [X]

<CactusJac> masturbating is like pringles
<ori0n> once you pop, you can't stop!

#10165 +(620)- [X]

BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf it's the scrotum

#10924 +(59)- [X]

<Knorki666> is solaris fully linux compilant ? or unix maybe ?

#13250 +(688)- [X]

<+phunk> i have to send 8 photos of myself in
<@fraggle> one for each angle
<@fraggle> they're going to make you into a doom monster

#14223 +(224)- [X]

<madz> sbs, would you choose:  Linux, or Windows?
<sbs> I would choose: Oral Sex.

#14544 +(48)- [X]

<@Chibi> You know you're pathetic when roaches are bigger than your penis :o

#15731 +(551)- [X]

<depresso> Compaq FAQ: Where is the ANY Key? (FAQ2859)
<depresso> This is not a key. When you are instructed to press any key, this
  means you can press any of the keys on the keyboard (such as the Enter key,
  the R key, or the space bar).

#20082 +(257)- [X]

<etiolate> high:one post, a girl proclaiming she has leopard print underwear
<etiolate> low:next post, girl proclaiming fred durst turns her on
<Wala> high; girl that lives in your city and then comes over and plays wc3 with you and then you have sex with her and then she brings friends and you have sex with them every day and then you win the lottery for 500million
<Staquaft> What's the low against that?
<Wala> low; girls have aids
<Wala> but
<Wala> that's not very low
<Wala> considering how you have 500 million
<Wala> to pay for treatment
<Kevyn> high; you stop talking.
<Kevyn> low; you keep talking.

#22672 +(493)- [X]

<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs and closes the door*

#29151 +(143)- [X]

<SteveCase> what does one do here?
<hunnybun> jerk off to girls gone wild infomercials

#30264 +(285)- [X]

* Ricyn watches the wind knock someone over outside
<Jedah> don't ya love hurricanes?
* Ricyn checks weatherbug.
<Ricyn> 60mph gusts
<Jedah> this sounds like a fun time to parasail
<Ricyn> yeah, just run into the street and jump

#31698 +(131)- [X]

Feyd-Rautha: So when are you getting cable anyways?
Hsu: soon
Feyd-Rautha: I can taste the broadband
Hsu: taste like victory
Feyd-Rautha: But a word of advice: don't put your lips on a live cable wire.

#33578 +(243)- [X]

<McFly> Note to Self: Make sure boxers firmly attached and functioning before walking into room of 8th graders.

#37460 +(245)- [X]

« Mo0ze » ye u better not be sucking on your own penis again
«@ young_einstein» i tried but im not flexible enough
<CrashMan79> Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.....
«@ Octalus» I wish i could suck my own penis
<CrashMan79> I don't
<CrashMan79> who knows where it's been

#43540 +(109)- [X]

<@skelter> I don't smoke, cocks or otherwise

#48026 +(2055)- [X]

<preda> hehe my penis slowly rolling off my desk and when it falls off its going to hit my cat
<preda> err pen is

#48594 +(547)- [X]

<VooDoo3dfx> She's a lesbian dude.
<Absolut> Really?
<VooDoo3dfx> Yeah.
<VooDoo3dfx> She's never had a guy though.
<Absolut> Once you go dick... you never go chick.
<Absolut> Oh shit
<Absolut> I didn't say that!!!

#49588 +(180)- [X]

<betachken> i want a Mac.
<@Burned> me too
<@Burned> its raining alot these days.

#51146 +(461)- [X]

<hafree> then there's all my friends
<hafree> that for some reason think "jewish" is a nationality
<hafree> yes, i come from jewland

#51200 +(103)- [X]

* I^Need^A^GirL^IN^MY^LifE was kicked by CityWoman (banned: Try a date service.)

#59132 +(325)- [X]

<KeeperX> i have my time machine built into a '67 el camino
<TrueBlue> The front is like a car!
<TrueBlue> The back is like a truck!
<TrueBlue> The front is where we sit!
<TrueBlue> The back is where we... EL CAMINO!

#73108 +(156)- [X]

<martin> USER     TTY      FROM              LOGIN@   IDLE   JCPU   PCPU  WHAT
<martin> martin   :0       -                 8:19pm   ?     0.00s   ?     -
<martin> god      pts/2    h-69-3-170-235.n 11:03pm  0.00s  0.07s  0.07s  -lynx www.worldtranssexuals.com
<Nikita> umm
<Nikita> why a text browser?
<martin> i dunno
<Nikita> lamo
<martin> =/
<GOD> damn it, can't I look at your father in peace?

#105178 +(450)- [X]

<Boycy> ooh, find me an ip :)
<Boycy> have a 3line batch file to send the same net send msg until you push Ctrl+C :D
<Hub-Security> boycy has ip: 137.222.226.67
<Kameleon> 137.222.226.67
<Boycy> excuse me for a few seconds...
<Boycy> FUCKER
<Kameleon> lmao
<Boycy> I know how to find *my* ip you bastard
<Boycy> 600 shitty net send boxes oh god I hate you

#113949 +(229)- [X]

<ph0rce> this is like turning into a war
<ph0rce> back like vietnam
<ph0rce> INCOMING NETSPLIT! GET THE FUCK DOWN
<ph0rce> INCOMING BOGIES INCOMING BOGIES
<ph0rce> RETURN FIRE
<ph0rce> *dos attack*

#116542 +(293)- [X]

<Repent> I hate it when I'm the only one what chats in the room.  Cause then I'm just hearing myself blabber.
<stugster> we hate it when you chat in the room in general

#120239 +(143)- [X]

<Icedagger> this is still the best name i've ever found in canada411... Harry Poon

#179566 +(1256)- [X]

<NiM> I went to church with my friends
<NiM> and they had all the alter boys being commissioned or whatever its called
<NiM> and we pours salt and viagra in the wine
<OttoDestruct> LOL
<NiM> And like 4 of the alterboys spat out the wine
<CF|Okra> hahahah
<NiM> and the priest was like OMFG U SINNERS
<NiM> thats the blood of christ!
<NiM> And the ones that didn't spit it out where walking around in their fucking robs with boners
<NiM> it was the funniest shit ever
<NiM> We where kicked out
<NiM> of the church

#238158 +(441)- [X]

<birdhouseskater> my one goal in life besides a girlfriend is getting in bash.org

#393623 +(28)- [X]

<[foreel]Torisutamu> Warning!
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Warning: The following commercial may not be suited for young children.
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Tired of watching college girls run around like morons and take off their clothes?
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Of course you're not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Tired of those same old girls at those same beaches? We thought not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Fucker beat me to it

#402185 +(106)- [X]

<mookster> Florida's getting fucked again... That really sucks. Good luck, man
<litty> not to avoid or make light the seriousness of any hurricane, but saying florida gets fucked by a hurricane is damn funny.  it's like the eye of the hurricane (the vagina) is on a mission to get it on with something. and there could be no better way to fill it's gaping gash with the biggest penis in the world (florida).

#447564 +(203)- [X]

<Tinted_Green> "oh lord who is idling in #heaven, 1337 be your skillz"

#537896 +(447)- [X]

<&dreams> well
<&dreams> I want a direct link
<&dreams> :P
<@McRuMMy> ugh
<@McRuMMy> www.yahoo.com/DontBeFuckinLazy
<@McRuMMy> here
<@McRuMMy> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1188265,00.html
<&dreams> lmao
<&dreams> thanks
<@McRuMMy> everytime i dont feel like helpin you i look back on this pic of your boobs :>

#538924 +(1574)- [X]

quiksilvrr101: hello
axelay4: went out and bought some dice for D&D yesterday
quiksilvrr101: hot
axelay4: they were mondo expensive  though...so i looked the guy at the counter straight in the face and asked him if i could roll a D20 to haggle
quiksilvrr101: lol
quiksilvrr101: and?
axelay4: goddamn natural 1

#633735 +(2573)- [X]

<Chcherrycola>Oh shit I'm fucked
<Chcherrycola>I hid my weed in my PSP carrying case. So I get up to go get some and I can't find it anywhere, then I realise my little brother must have taken it with him on the plane to Florida with my family... O_O

#695310 +(426)- [X]

<Hrung> yeah, i was going to go to bed like 20 mins ago, but i'm a horrible procrastinator
<Hrung> too lazy to go to bed..

#750058 +(153)- [X]

<Rjx> How to get laid? Uninstall Linux.
<Rjx> case closed

#763307 +(833)- [X]

<j0e> when i want to download music i look up what the band thinks about filesharing
<j0e> if they're okay with it, i download the song
<j0e> if they're against it, i download the song out of spite
<UriGeller> what if they haven't said anything on filesharing
<j0e> that's what i call a tacit endorsement

#774628 +(341)- [X]

<R_M> being drunk is kinda like having a really low framerate

#827006 +(5211)- [X]

ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.

#916256 +(-166)- [X]

<Orang> Dude, this is weird, I just put an apple next to my Mac and it made a weird noise without me touching anything.
<Joshtrap> My PC does the same thing when I take a shit by it.

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