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#1488 +(280)- [X]

<NtG> now if only people would swallow their syringes
<NtG> im sick of stepping on them

#2119 +(284)- [X]

<krayons> 95% of the girls at rutgers university in new jersey
<krayons> have stds
<killspree> haha
<killspree> no way
<kara> bullshit man
<killspree> no wonder their basketball and football teams suck so bad
<krayons> its not bullshit
<VeRrUcKt> lol
<killspree> the players are running around in pain

#2204 +(298)- [X]

<DAL9000> you've never called me dustin before
<DAL9000> you sick?
<Guilty> I bet you thought you had a decent name until Saved by the Bell's Dustin Diamond came "screeching" in

#3487 +(51)- [X]

<]Di[ein> seriously..... imma put 2x turbos....nos....air intake...... get that pos lowered even though it is already lowered
<]Di[ein> get some 5's
<]Di[ein> (it has go cart wheels)
<Vandium> A FESTIVA
<Vandium> ROFL!
<]Di[ein> the only car in the world where u get a buy one get one free deal!

#5621 +(818)- [X]

<Straylight> aw3some
<Straylight> oops
<Straylight> haha... i accidentally l33ted

#6458 +(271)- [X]

<^erica^> god, why dont you apear infront of me when i pray?
<GodFu> because i like to watch

#6909 +(605)- [X]

<AaronSw> To prevent this day from getting worse, I'll just read ERROR as GOOD THING

#7452 +(420)- [X]

*** Now talking in #-[TF]-
*** Topic is '*** Denmark has quit Worldcup (Read error: Connection reset by England)'

#7679 +(368)- [X]

<[BoB]spencer> LOL who has seen the capture the sperm game?
<Sharp|DoD> i play it every day with my sock
<Sharp|DoD> woops

#8226 +(260)- [X]

(@T-56): anyone up for some drunken baseball fun next weekend?
(+de-v1): baseball?
(+de-v1): k before i just THOUGHT you were gay
(+de-v1): now i know for sure
(+de-v1): :P
(@T-56): steph: ok, scratch baseball, how about water polo
(+de-v1): you just want to be in a pool with 20 guys in speedos are trying to grab balls

#8734 +(460)- [X]

Walter39: I woke up in a ditch last night
Walter39: Not sure why
Walter39: Family left me, i cant afford pants
Walter39: But on a plus note, I finally won master status at Everquest

#12081 +(1694)- [X]

<Chirako> You know what cereal is really nasty?
<Chirako> Gravy Train.
<Chirako> It's like, these little hard pieces of bran and crumbly beef flavored crap.  You pour water over it, and it gets soggy and makes gravy around it.
<Disco_Ernie> Chirako..that's...dog food..
<Chirako> It was NOT dog food!
<Chirako> Mommy wouldn't feed me dog food!
* Chirako looks at Mommy
<Chirako> IT'S DOG FOOD!
<Chirako> http://www.gravytraindog.com/
<Chirako> She's always been obsessed with me eating dog food... >_<
<Chirako> When I was little, she told me the Jerky Treats were real jerky, and I kept eating the whole bag
* Chirako gags
<Chirako> If there's one thing dogs love, it's rich,
<Chirako> beefy gravy. That's why every nugget of
<Chirako> Gravy Train is basted in real beef juices.
<Chirako> Just mix it with warm water, and you can
<Chirako> give your dog a warm homestyle meal,
<Chirako> dripping with the delicious gravy he loves.
* Chirako graons
<Chirako> Oh, man.... I'm gonna kill her
<Disco_Ernie> At least Chirako will have:
<Disco_Ernie> Healthy skin
<Disco_Ernie>  Glossy coat
<Disco_Ernie>  Strong teeth and bones
<Disco_Ernie>  Builds and maintains body tissue
<Disco_Ernie>  Efficient digestion
<Disco_Ernie>  Clear eyes
<Chirako> ..I should have known.
<Chirako> She NEVER makes me breakfast

#12088 +(32)- [X]

<DrStrange> i want to be sodomized by lezbians with strap on pickles.

#28690 +(190)- [X]

<Falsity> tricks are fo kids
<ircbuddy> And hookers.

#38385 +(337)- [X]

<Ramza> why am I listening to "Here Comes Team Rocket" in polish?

#45829 +(-2)- [X]

Ragnorak: I got a snowboard last night.
geneseostud: u did?
geneseostud: for what

#46187 +(356)- [X]

<@netnomad> Why do we as human beings listen to depressing music when we're already depressed.
<Spock> Misery loves company?
<@netnomad> No, that's the explanation for why I'm on IRC.

#48782 +(304)- [X]

<Kevyn> I lent my friend money last nite so he could get a lap dance from a stripper. And he just said to me on AIM, "hey, thanks for the lap dance"
<Kevyn> I'm so glad people can't overhear conversations on AIM.

#49499 +(475)- [X]

<Praetor> i got jury duty and I was like
<Praetor> "well.. I don't believe in drug laws... i couldn't convict someone on drug posession bc i don't believe it should be a crime, unless he was black of course"
<Praetor> excused

#49756 +(-7)- [X]

<NiceAngel> anywayz...watching jackass bbl
<Linkadmin> I misread that for "whacking a jackass bbl"
<pantherqs> link> a mistake like that? blame it on bash. =P

#50916 +(245)- [X]

<@Gallahan> Anyone know the geographic distribution for AOL proxies?
<@abombpk> hell?
<@Lyle> thats an understatement

#52063 +(170)- [X]

*** VirginUmboo has joined #html
<VirginUmboo> lo
<VirginUmboo> how do i gret a shocwave file in my html?
* Anapaest googles for "gret"
*** VirginUmboo has left #html

#60137 +(970)- [X]

<Superpig> my uncle has a celeron
<Superpig> would XP run on it, do you think?
<ravuya> about as well as a dog runs with no legs or torso
<ravuya> and with bricks tied to its head
<ravuya> at the bottom of a solid concrete pool
<ravuya> filled with dead corpses and rocks
<Superpig> so, about the same as it runs on my P4 then
<ravuya> more or less

#74094 +(230)- [X]

<Abstract> wb
<Wolf> thanks
<Wolf> I'm jelous of my computer
<Abstract> why?
<Wolf> It gets more fucked up than i do

#76681 +(170)- [X]

<greener> i don't want sex anymore. nasty strippers grossed me out yesterday
<greener> i'm a born-again virgin

#80729 +(-20)- [X]

<timmo> capn slackass: hello kettle, i am pot.
<timmo> capn slackass: you are black.
<timmo> xxx: ?
<timmo> people are stupid these days
<c-rOCK> shes a nigger?

#88569 +(530)- [X]

<Sabrejack> everything is generalized

#100292 +(416)- [X]

<Uhh_Duh> I've got four kick-ass cisco routers coming in the mail.
<Uhh_Duh> Sorry ladies.. I'm taken...

#100336 +(397)- [X]

<ch> Cn linux just drop some chrcters from the keybord or is it more likely tht my lptop keybord is bd?

#105296 +(41)- [X]

<evilpie> what the fuck is wtf
<cardcheat> World Trade Federation
<SteamedHams> world trade fire
<cardcheat> Women That Fuck
<SteamedHams> Wow That's Funny
<cardcheat> Well, Try Farting
<SteamedHams> What The Nigger
<cardcheat> as a respected leader in the african-american community, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using that word
<SteamedHams> hey it'll get me on bash

#106851 +(627)- [X]

* Yugi_moto take out his card deck
  <DoesNotExist> Yu-Gi-Oh is fricking hilarious.
  <DoesNotExist> the hero's all like "I play my Blue Eyes White Dragon in defense position and attack!" and they all act like it was a stunning strategical move.
  <DoesNotExist> it's an overly dramatic version of a magic the gathering tournament, which makes it so hilarious.
  <Yugi_moto> ablterrate
  <DoesNotExist> "My blue eyes white dragon attacks... THE MOON!"
  <Yugi_moto> black skull dragon  has  3200 atack points blue Eyes white dragon has 3000 atack points i have the stronger monster by atack points that means you lose 200 life points
  <DoesNotExist> no, i play Mystical Swirling Hat Shield to counter that, which increases the Blue Eyes White Dragon's attack by 53...
  <Yugi_moto> I play pendulam machine
  <Yugi_moto> no
  <Yugi_moto> Mysticazl Elf does that
  <Yugi_moto> Mystical Elf
  <DoesNotExist> i play Flaming Sword of Cheesy Goodness on Blue Eyes White Dragon as my last move, increasing my BEWD's attack by a triumphant 3333 due to my cheescake i'm eating.
  <Yugi_moto> I sumon exiodea
  <Yugi_moto> autometic win
  <DoesNotExist> i play counterspell, discarding it.
  <Yugi_moto> yuoo cant
  <DoesNotExist> Yes i can. o_O
  * DoesNotExist holds up his counterspell.
  * DoesNotExist taps two islands...
  * DoesNotExist plays counterspell on exiodea...
  * DoesNotExist discards exiodea.,
  <DoesNotExist> Now then, i play...
  * DoesNotExist summons Sephiroth!
  <DoesNotExist> I summon Sephiroth in the Lance Bass position, which causes your black skull dragon to commit suicide from the terrible n*sync music.

#118035 +(132)- [X]

<Nermal> the only way I could secure windows was by putting bars over my monitor

#123562 +(261)- [X]

<Swap_File> explosives + Lan party + flare gun = broken toilet, and report of "fireworks display" on the police radio

#128570 +(-155)- [X]

<spaceDAISY> these american measurement standards are on crank.
<spaceDAISY> what the hell is a jigger?
<r> jewish nigger

#136816 +(665)- [X]

<McRick> I was watching a program on TV, and someone with an English accent said 'And God bless all who sail in her" and the closed captioning read "[speaking in foreign language]".

#146989 +(262)- [X]

<Entriech> Theatre tickets are 91$ at the cheapest?
<Entriech> Jesus Christ.
<Entriech> What do they think I am, made of money?
<Entriech> Cause even if I was, that's like sawing my dick in half for theatre tickets.

#181046 +(241)- [X]

-!- marlies [~m@] has joined #gamesoc
< marlies> ello all
< Jops> welcome to the tumbleweed zone
< kev> o.
< kev>     'o
< kev>                 `o
< kev>                                 o'
< marlies>                                                      o,
< kev> congratulations, you have won tonights star prize!
-!- marlies [~m@] has quit [Client Quit]
< kev> freedom from irc

#216963 +(1426)- [X]

<billiam> crap... some one knocked over my recycle bin... there's icons all over my desktop...

#242402 +(2433)- [X]

DinjackPD: there was this once, like three years ago, I forgot this big project I had to turn in when I went to school
DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home office) and asked him to bring it for me
DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your personal secretary."
DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did

#482546 +(460)- [X]

<eGagz-Trevor`> i spilt weiner juice in my lap
<blue[2q]> WHAT?!
<eGagz-Trevor`> the stuff that comes out of those cans with those vienna weiners

#637722 +(946)- [X]

<Asher_Dorn> somebody suggested that the offical name for our gay straight alliance should be "All You Need Is Love"
<Asher_Dorn> i had to tell him the acronym is AYNIL

#650542 +(269)- [X]

<SHn> how come its cheaper to fly from brisbane to sydney then the other way?!!!
<disco[burrito]> cause you need all the smart people you can get

#664427 +(2214)- [X]

Magus5311: I got a C- in Spanish 1.
Magus5311: Then I got a summer job doing construction
Magus5311: Next year I had an A+

#664770 +(3171)- [X]

<overkill_78> So this chick came over today.
<overkill_78> We talked for hours.
<overkill_78> Then she went to go take a piss.
<overkill_78> I busted in on her while she was pissing, and she got mad at me.
<overkill_78> So I trapped her in my room and set my room on fire.
<overkill_78> Fucking bitch is dead now.
<camdaman86> How are you not in jail?
<overkill_78> It was in The Sims.

#689789 +(-9)- [X]

(Jani) the wii is going to get raped in the console war
(Jani) unless xbox360's start exploding like dell laptops
(%Ransom) ps3 will destroy everything
(Jani) including your wallet

#741216 +(38)- [X]

<Snojoe> I am a genius
<Snojoe> I just came up with a new game
<mbb102488> oh lord, what now?
<Gnarly> did you finally figure out hand + dick, joe?
<Snojoe> Bash drinking game
<mbb102488> lol
<Snojoe> I'm serious! go onto the random page
<Snojoe> and you take a drink for every quote of like
<Snojoe> tubgirl
<Snojoe> or even goatse
<Gnarly> no, 2 for goatse
<Snojoe> uh, no... 2 drinks are reserved for every one about niggers
<Gnarly> lmao
<mbb102488> wow...
<Gnarly> just don't hope you randomly don't get the whole bottom list as random
<Gnarly> else you'd be fucked

#763772 +(337)- [X]

<+AdamR> bahahahahahah just got a reply from zen about that gateway being named "gay-dsl1"
<Er00`> Oh?
<+AdamR> Hi Adam, All of our DSL gateways are named after renowned philosophers, in this case Gay is named for John Gay, see the below website for more information; http://www.philosophypages.com/dy/g.htm
<TheDon> rofl
<+AdamR> notice how there isnt a picture of him on that site
<Er00`> Hehe
<+AdamR> thats the best fucking techincal support response i've ever had

#773975 +(274)- [X]

<Paranoua> Okay, this is the *only* right answer to the question "Do You Think I'm Fat?":
<Paranoua> "No, because if you were fat I'd leave you."

#818300 +(574)- [X]

Garby: I just have to find a crafty way to avoid them on Monday.
Pollerskates: Wear a Madeleine McCann Halloween costume.
Pollerskates: They'll never be able to find you.

#879056 +(642)- [X]

<kaber> My buddy just got a divorce. they had 4 kids. she met some new guy and she thinks she'll have it better with him
<kaber> so the women leave thinking it's greener on the other side and what not.. and they usually end up getting shafted even more
<tomalak> kaber: I think that's the point.

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