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#111 +(1355)- [X]

<jestuh> i was trying to go the speed limit so i didn't get a ticket but a cop got me in a school zone
<DigDug> How much?
<jestuh> i'm talking about need for speed not real life

#286 +(3056)- [X]

<Infe> what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
<HomerJ> blows up
<Andrigaar> Don't they explode?
<Andrigaar> I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking battery acid.
<Infe> i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for 'rechargeables' and ---
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#974 +(290)- [X]

<Guilty> $30 - PC133 128MB
<Guilty> $31 - PC100 128MB
<Guilty> What a world when PC133 is cheaper than PC100
<D1-> where?
<D1-> nigga where?
<Guilty> Pricewatch
<D1-> oh
<D1-> thats white trash generic ram

#976 +(461)- [X]

<digdug> wow
<digdug> did you ever wake up and feel like you've accidentally managed to get yourself into another dimension?
<digdug> it's one of those days...
<tokage> try /nick DigDug
<tokage> that'll probably fix it

#1794 +(270)- [X]

<Semi> What good is a car with no dildos?

#1977 +(85)- [X]

*** Now talking in #bearcave
*** Topic is 'This is NOT a warez channel....'

#2041 +(447)- [X]

<Mr_Durden> no wonder superman's ship is powered by the only thing that can kill him
<Mr_Durden> it was designed by a canadian

#2175 +(504)- [X]

<boozie> during my nap i farted underneath the blanket and i almost killld myself

#5276 +(312)- [X]

<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows

#7268 +(59)- [X]

( `46and2   ) i've learnt alot about getting a woman off... it's not that hard. i even convinced my friend to show me where the effing g spot is... i tried it on my g/f and all this clear shit came out

#7533 +(40)- [X]

<yunicus> i like fat black women filled with syrup

#9169 +(889)- [X]

[Modnar] 3y3 0wnz j00
[TMBG37] n0 j00 d0n7
[Modnar] dude, i've got the inv0ice right here

#10430 +(301)- [X]

* cj_ installs svgalib.
<cj_> gonna test quake2 on linux
<nwinter> nice.
<cj_> then i can play with myself
<nwinter> GRODEY.
<cj_> no seriously. my monitors face inwards at me, and both the mice are
within an arms reach. i can chase myself around.

#10926 +(222)- [X]

<Macca_> hi all 
<Macca_>  can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it hasn't been as 
          easy as i thought it might be

#16376 +(191)- [X]

<BabyDuck> i fucked my wrists playing a pinball game on my PC
<BabyDuck> but I played like 400 games, which would cost $100 at the arcade. I bought the game for $15, so I have saved $85 so far

#21124 +(173)- [X]

<Road|\{ill> anybody have that picture of that fat chick sitting on a chair with the little dog underneath it?
<Road|\{ill> i need it

#23260 +(172)- [X]

<waffle> just forward all the mail locally
<Docter> can I echo mage > /home/kyle/.forward
<waffle> Kyle: i think
<waffle> then just finger kyle and see if it stuck
<Kevyn> Heh.

#31563 +(264)- [X]

<sin|away> wanna see a turtle ride a slug?
<sin|away> compile a vb program in wine

#33563 +(200)- [X]

<@UBC_Wiska> I have invented a vibrator featuring a CPU, 64 MB RAM... it is wireless and LAN capable
<@theamy> *vibrates*
<@UBC_Wiska> wtf?
* kevinb notes that UBC has invented anal vibrator for personal use
<@UBC_Wiska> it will be able to download "personalities"
<@Narcissus> Why would one want to switch personalities mid-use?
<@UBC_Wiska> for example
<@UBC_Wiska> the leo personality shuts the vibrator off :)
<@theamy> What would your personality do Wisket
<@theamy> I know what matt's would
<@kevinb> It would shrink to half the size
<@theamy> LOL
<@UBC_Wiska> the size and diameter are variable
<@UBC_Wiska> and set on personalities
<@Narcissus> That's one sophisticated vibrator:)
<@UBC_Wiska> for example, kevin's would be swollen from all the previous j/o :)
<@kevinb> It would also implement Impotent sub-routines.
<@kevinb> lol
<@Narcissus> Keep the vibrator discussion clean, Wisk:)
<@UBC_Wiska> How?

#36670 +(131)- [X]

Dribblee: how many coursees yo udoing?
Dominion: 5 or 6...I forget
Dominion: 2+1+1+1+1

#38636 +(161)- [X]

<Threeboy> neeks. i hate it when i type "~" by accident.
<Threeboy> it makes me question my sexuality.

#39122 +(17)- [X]

<myutwo33> i should stick to stupid jokes... for stupid people... that means you guys!

#39655 +(886)- [X]

<Sharkey> Always had that trouble at libraries. "How much to buy this book." "This is a library, not a bookstore." "Alright, what happens if I lose it?" "You have to pay for it." "Alright, I'd like to borrow this book. Oh! Where did it go?"

#40522 +(473)- [X]

<ratsun> damnit i started a smallbox game but nobody came on the field so i exited and now i cant get in
<ratsun> what to do?
<super-radish> reboot
<ratsun> the computer?
<super-radish> no, i mean take your shoes off and put them back on
<ratsun> i'm not wearing shoes.....

#41085 +(21)- [X]

<Danarchy> anyone know any p2p programs that are heavy with movie trading?
<Duker900> dalnet?

#42037 +(495)- [X]

<Arno^QS> Intel Inside: The world's most widely distributed warning label

#48425 +(272)- [X]

<velco> real men use mailx *g*
<ahu> real men whistle into the cable
<movement> no, real men stand up for a 1, and lay down for a 0
<movement> and transmit it over a webcam

#49007 +(220)- [X]

<dustin> you ever masturbated on a washer when it was on spin cycle ?
<dustin> it's the best
<Sh3lby> if u say  so
<dustin> just make sure it's not a public washing place
<dustin> they don't take kindly to things like that

#49441 +(280)- [X]

<+sp0re> most CS players are illiterate
<+sp0re> infact nearly everyone on the internet is
<@nem0r> sp0re
<@nem0r> its alliterate
<+sp0re> no
<+sp0re> illiterate
<@nem0r> nah
<@nem0r> alliterate
<+sp0re> shut up
<+[IRF]Peng> illiterate nem0r :P
<+DCCwis> <nem0r> alliterate
<+DCCwis> lol
<+sp0re> he's a n00b
<@nem0r> smb
<+DCCwis> so if you were sick you'd say i'm "all"
<@nem0r> forget it
<@nem0r> fucking n00b clan anyway
* Parts: nem0r (dopedealer@host217-41-6-148.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
<+sp0re> you can tell the CS players from a mile

#56170 +(25)- [X]

TaniquaLoL: i stole my moms stash and sold it to her friend hahaha
EyezBloodshot: lmao
TaniquaLoL: shes all bitchy now though

#59027 +(-125)- [X]

<biXen> LMAO, I got kicked from DC because of animal porn? WTF?
<biXen> I dont have any animal porn!
<biXen> well I guess for some people movies that has black guys in them, they can go as animals

#70296 +(245)- [X]

--> Sunny (~Sunny@as1-71.w3c.com) has joined #gtk+
<Sunny> hello every one
<Sunny> can anyone tell me waht to choose QT or GTK+

#81379 +(163)- [X]

<Juz[code]> i think i will call
<Juz[code]> the 5th level in my puzzle game
<Juz[code]> "i'm bored of making levels now"

#81449 +(614)- [X]

<mewse> that was awesome
<mewse> err wrong window
<zarcyb> mewse: cybering? :P
* mewse licks it
<mewse> FUCK WRONG WINDOW

#82238 +(199)- [X]

* Robzy tries to remember wher goatse ASCII is...
* Robzy wonders why the *ENTIRE* geek community is obsessed with goatse
<Tripwire> Robzy: it's tradition
<Robzy> Has anyone ever spared a thought for the photographer of goatse?!

#88306 +(32)- [X]

<timmo> wtf you need resin for
<timmo> you have more pot then you can handle
<c-rOCK> im like an indian
<c-rOCK> I use all of the weed.  time to hit my peace pipe, bitch.

#103476 +(196)- [X]

<Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor
<Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous
<Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged

#123552 +(213)- [X]

Dough Girl7777:  my grandma is funny
CherryOnion1979:  okay
Dough Girl7777:  she tries to spoil me, but she has like no money, so she gives me plants 
Dough Girl7777:  and she gets all excited when she gives em to me

#372065 +(420)- [X]

<Max2645> Now my kid is all pissed off, and she won't even let me talk to her, see her, or even touch her.
<Piggah> yes, sometimes you have to feed them candy

#393554 +(1766)- [X]

<watashi-wa>necrophilia is dead boring
<chersucks> wtf?!?
<watashi-wa>try incest instead
<watashi-wa>it's only relatively boring :p

#452205 +(976)- [X]

<Cardo> I reckon they should keep making Jackass shows
<Shady> yer
<Cardo> That way we can use Darwin as a turbine while he spins in his grave
<Shady> lol

#464125 +(2262)- [X]

<cancerpass> ever watched the monty python show/movies?
<over-thurr> yeah he's a very funny guy!
<cancerpass> i'll take that as a no

#483363 +(358)- [X]

[KillerGeek] Everyone thinks I can pull computer equipment out of my ass on demand.
[KillerGeek] Ah well.
[KillerGeek] If I could shit new P4 systems, I wouldn't be here.
[KillerGeek] Fucking sell the GoatsePC.

#525433 +(419)- [X]

<Breserk> I love your humour :D
<ErectuZ> I love your balls
<Breserk> :/
<ErectuZ> you seen Team America?
<Breserk> Physically?
<Breserk> Nope.
<ErectuZ> oh
<ErectuZ> then that miht have sounded a bit perverted
<Breserk> Yes.

#607493 +(141)- [X]

<Azn> This guy came to our school, and talked to us about how drinking and driving is bad...
<Azn> And he mentioned that if you are convicted, you will have a breathalizer installed in your car, so you have to breathe into a tube to start your car...
<Azn> And some guy shouted "What if you fart in it?"
<Azn> Everyone laughed, and the speaker looked pissed and said "Well, gas expelled from the anus contains methane, not alcohol.  It would be difficult for an intoxicated person to perform such an action with their distorted hand-eye cordination"

#680498 +(378)- [X]

<@Canis> i wanted to move my nintendo once but didnt want to lose my game
<@Canis> so i wired on a second power cord
<@Canis> and then walked it from outlet to outlet
<@Canis> im really lucky i didnt hit two circuits out of phase
<@Canis> that would have SUCKED

#681240 +(397)- [X]

<Farcaller> to get spare parts disassemble/assemble some device
<Farcaller> repeat until you get enough spare parts

#757724 +(2575)- [X]

<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> "There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]"

#819212 +(395)- [X]

swansonmarpalum: I dunno
swansonmarpalum: I do not think I would hang around someone who could not get hard and fuck me
Sigma X: Wait
swansonmarpalum: I mean if I was a chick.

#894334 +(628)- [X]

<BobbyJenkins> Any GLBT fellow Scots going to the Pride Scotia March at the end of this month in Edinburgh?
<Sensationalism>  I take it you are going? If I go to any Pride events this year, it'll be my first. I'm excited!
<BobbyJenkins> I was going to but I found out I've got work.
<Lost-Chances> Call in gay.

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