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#61 +(1261)- [X]

<Guilty> Really, celerons make me laugh
<Guilty> The white trash chip

#802 +(385)- [X]

<SuckIt699> ENGLISH people u r in america

#1264 +(435)- [X]

<@SwampGas> my whoroscope says i'm gonna get overcharged today

#5020 +(520)- [X]

<iban> when i was your age all i had was a mac, and photoshop
<iban> if i wanted an online gf i had to draw her

#5272 +(1917)- [X]

<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid

#6027 +(321)- [X]

<bozo> !v
<bozo> *damn*
<fn> "if you were in emacs, you'd be editing by now."

#7318 +(35)- [X]

<dae> "my dixie wrecked" say it slowly now

#7352 +(168)- [X]

<@[ben]> youd be suprised how many pancakes that mouth has masticated
<@[ben]> and yes, i spelt the last word right

#8031 +(208)- [X]

<iggypop> licking my own sweaty balls > quicktime

#8060 +(174)- [X]

<Floach> It's pretty well known that your brain continues to function for quite a bit after decapitation
<Bitstorm> the mame board is proof of that

#8562 +(482)- [X]

<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> Tornado!
<Guantlet> better get to the basement mins
<Minstrel> bbl, Ima go get stoned and go outside.

#9611 +(92)- [X]

<djglitch> my house is full of doctor's mask and water bottles
<djcrom> house party?
<djglitch> yea, hehe

#10339 +(255)- [X]

<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on their shelves.
<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the actual testicles.

#10997 +(167)- [X]

<Aiee> That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?

#11255 +(293)- [X]

<ducks> I was looking through someone's eBay auctions
<ducks> and this is what I see listed

#11266 +(219)- [X]

<ThisIsASentenceInANick> YOUR TURN
* Tomko awaits anxiously for HAWT STEAMY MANSAWCE
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> IT IS MY TURN AGAIN
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> DO YOU BLOCK?  Y/N
<Tomko> N

#12299 +(1242)- [X]

* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!

#20073 +(428)- [X]

<Calculus> Ah...a dark room, approximately 25 computers, Debian ISOs for six platforms, and two hundred and four CD-Rs.  It's going to be a wiiiild night.
<DamienRoc> Only you would consider that a wild night, Calc.
<Mechalink> Not only Calc.
<Calculus> DR: You'd be *amazed* at what happens if you grind up TDK CD-Rs and sniff them.
<DamienRoc> You get fiberglass in your lungs and lose 10 years to your life?
<Calculus> Well, that too...

#22497 +(14)- [X]

<Haru> Shinji! Do you like Black Cock?
<Solacido> Kyou: Three words for you: Oven - fresh - pizzas
<Solacido > That's right kids, that peperoni, isn't what you thought it was
<Spank > i thought it tasted like soul food

#24976 +(313)- [X]

<Skulljack> Funny how all zombies have muscles, skin and everything else nearly falling off of them, yet they almost always have a fully functioning digestive system.

#26640 +(12)- [X]

<fox1324> fucking hell
<fox1324> my mom dosent want me to get that backpack cause she thinks its gay
<neo123> what backpack?
<fox1324> im gonna get that backpack and then have sex with like 40 hot girls
<fox1324> and then it wont be gay
<neo123> but somehow you will still be
<fox1324> say that after ive had sex with 40 hot girls

#31939 +(455)- [X]

<pleb> hey how long does it take to get back the results from a fertility test?
<Ouroboros> Do you have a girlfriend?
<pleb> yeah
<Ouroboros> 9 months.

#32509 +(1151)- [X]

<Chelly> What is your biggest fear?
<JasonRene> living long enough to become isolated from anyone who cares about me, and then dying alone.
<Chelly> :(
<JasonRene> You asked  ;)
<Chelly> I know
<Chelly> I was expecting something like spiders.

#33861 +(35)- [X]

<kaye> what, like EFnet has a monopoly on lamers? oh wait..

#36401 +(220)- [X]

<guest1101> techno...  I pity you..
<guest1101> I really do
<@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
<guest1101> NOT AT ALL
<@Boogaleeboo> "U"
<@Boogaleeboo> Good move

#36488 +(94)- [X]

<Tweak> did i tell you splits?
<Tweak> i am a camp counslor
<Tweak> for 5th graders
<boysplitter> !!!
<boysplitter> CAN I COME TOO!!??

#42062 +(215)- [X]

<Rangsk> I still remember trying to read from a floppy in dos... with no floppy in
<Rangsk> I was always too scared to press "fail" cause I thought it would ruin my floppy drive
<Artanis> lol
<Rangsk> so I had to scramble for a floppy
<Veldhar[GD]> lol
<Rangsk> then type a
<Veldhar[GD]> reminds me of one of my friends, a LONG time ago, when he knew nothing at comps or so, rebooted his comp each time he wanted to go back at C:> because he didn't knew "cd .."

#46757 +(134)- [X]

<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:   Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are ingesting tape worm eggs.

#47667 +(24)- [X]

<teek> tenchi, ebay!
<_Tenchi_> bah fuck ebay
<_Tenchi_> i wouldnt buy a $9 cutlery set off of ebay
<fate-> heh, a friend of mine in London bought a chest of drawers off of ebay, had to go pick it up by car (an hour away)
<fate-> it sucked and wasn't of high quality like he expected, so we took it back, and on the way smashed it up, and left it on the guy's doorstep

#57013 +(557)- [X]

<IRh@x0r> h0w d0 1 g3t the m0d5 to @nsw3r my qu35+i0n?
<pualat166> stop talkin like a fucked up irc nerd fuckwit and they will listen to you maybe
<IRh@x0r> 1337

#61127 +(190)- [X]

<aweigh> Physical pain?
<aweigh> Sign me up.
<WussyBoy> Pain can be fun, but certainly not in a sexual way
<aweigh> Obviously you've never had a donkey punch.
<Galvatron> ...that was in no way appropriate

#69673 +(653)- [X]

(doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or something
(slippy): me too
(slippy): i bought 5 internets the other day

#80919 +(293)- [X]

<Crystal_s> Where is everyone? I refuse to believe this many people have lives outside of IRC

#80926 +(-3)- [X]

<shortyz> ugly bitches should wear masks all the time.. or rather paper bags
<`FrEaK> plastic bags... so they cant breath

#88683 +(666)- [X]

<OO7MIKE> superconducting is how you turn a 3ghz processor into a 30ghz processor
<OO7MIKE> which is my main research subject
<Rukee> how do you get it that cold and keep it that cold? Liquid nitrogen?
<pocketMidget> use a woman's heart as the heatsink
* pocketMidget rimshot

#98017 +(265)- [X]

<+HackerDragon>: uhmmm yeah I had some lube and "other objects" wrapped up in a towel under my bed.  My mom decided that she was going to be nice and do my laundry for me today cause she is home sick.  Yeah I just looked under my bed and the lube with objects is there but no towel...

#100123 +(277)- [X]

<@Asha`monkey> Storm is like a 64 or something like that.
<+darkLem> boy, he looks younger than he is obviously.
<+nosphalot> he scarifices virgins to keep up appearance
<+darkLem> ...so THAT'S why he hangs around on IRC!

#105842 +(114)- [X]

<@tumult> m what is this piano girls obsession
<@piano_girl_man> tumult cute girls who play the piano
<@tumult> piano_girl_man and what reference are you basing this on
<@Hiryu> elton john

#111649 +(59)- [X]

SlapsterMcFlash: you know what
Phatpandas: what?
SlapsterMcFlash: if you shake your penis long enough, some juice comes out of it
Phatpandas: some women drink that, i heard
SlapsterMcFlash: ewww..who drinks pea?

#124671 +(-4)- [X]

<PRM> Theres a special girl in the office that i got a thing for.
<King-T> Yeah? Who? Is she nice ?
<PRM> She's called clare, i want to fuck her up the arse so that i can tell the bitch who's boss.
<King-T> go for it man!
<PRM> Yeah, just gotta make sure she doesnt fuck my arse first!
<King-T> Whoa, she a man man ?
<PRM> Not any more, think it may of been a dodgy sex-op gone wrong.
<King-T> Dont want to know...

#144936 +(733)- [X]

<distopia> whats the word for that ringing in your ears?
<distopia> begins with T
<overh3at> The Wife

#162004 +(382)- [X]

customer24601: what's that sound?
macholyoke: me banging my head against my desk.
customer24601: why are you banging your head against the desk.
macholyoke: so I can speak to you in terms you'll understand, you retard.

#205847 +(2050)- [X]

<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars
<tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate

#300014 +(1417)- [X]

<Evil Steve> Theres an advert in MSN Messenger: "Buy your winning lottery ticket here"
<Evil Steve> I reckon thats false advertising
<Evil Steve> I should buy one then sue them when I loose
<AnonymousPosterChild> I can represent you in court
<AnonymousPosterChild> I got my law degree online

#374858 +(159)- [X]

<Irish_GothDragon> he just figured out spiders have no genitalia
<Aryn> yes they do
<Irish_GothDragon> no they dont
<Aryn> yes they do
<Irish_GothDragon> they have orafices for fluid transfer
<Aryn> err, good to know
<Irish_GothDragon> the female rubs her tail sac over the orafice to get the sperm.. no real sex occurs
<GlassRain> wtf
* GlassRain exits
* Quits: GlassRain
<Aryn> it sounds very dirty, that's how I know it's real sex
<Irish_GothDragon> hey.. I'm a biology major
<[PR]Swift|ZzZzZ> that mean your getting turned on?

#478519 +(2323)- [X]

<shane> there is a special place in hell, down the hall from hitler, for real player

#553813 +(512)- [X]

<earmuff-man> Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
<earmuff-man> And it's really got me worried
<earmuff-man> I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
<earmuff-man> And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
<spinifex> earmuff man can i be an op?
<spinifex> just for tonight?
<earmuff-man> ok 
* earmuff-man sets mode: +o spinifex
* ChanServ sets mode: +l 12
<earmuff-man> Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
* earmuff-man was kicked by spinifex (quit your singing bitch)
<spinifex> bahahahhhaa

#595604 +(496)- [X]

<jeffrey> guys why does amazon.com suck so much
<jeffrey> it says my estimated ship date is jan 3
<jeffrey> yet on the product pages they both say usually ship within 24 hours
<cromicus> i hope you're ordering a copy of the dictionary that contains a definition for the word "usually"

#623132 +(2107)- [X]

<Bonz> I saw a debate in the US Congress where the Coast Guard and others were saying it's impossible to smuggle nukes into the US. One of the Congressman asked, "What if they're smart enough to pack it in a bale of marijuana? We know you can't stop THAT."

#928768 +(854)- [X]

TRex-o: I want to settle an argument.  Am I an invasive species?
sjackso: invasive species reproduce

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