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#347 +(299)- [X]

(@bart`) bwhahhahahahahah. i think they should send that little girl from the pepsi commercials to cuba too

#395 +(50)- [X]

<Dr_DOS> l33t i got a snickels bal

#1013 +(295)- [X]

(iMike) i dont trust that britney spears has areolas that big

#5665 +(352)- [X]

<Spooky> CUNT 
<Spooky> Variation on the game fuck (qv), where you have to say "cunt" and get louder and louder.
<Spooky> Use "fatty" near to fat people for a softer version
<Spooky> as it's not really offensive except to the fat person, and fat people can't really punch you because their fingers are like cushions.

#9232 +(603)- [X]

<blaky> be back, gotta clean a fan
<chomp> did shit hit it?

#11073 +(596)- [X]

<SpunOne> To The Taliban:
<SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to college.
<nersh> To the US:
<nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.

#13739 +(15)- [X]

<Sumez> Did you fight Ozma?
<Darth-Phenom> Maybe...who's Ozma?
<Sumez> The bad-ass optional big boss
<Darth-Phenom> Where is he?
<Gaffa> Right behind you!

#16464 +(158)- [X]

* C|sur hates being a genius.
<Lindy^> yeah, i'd think your modesty would hamper you.

#22172 +(353)- [X]

<sluggy> my essay kinda sucks, its not long enough
<Stooert> talk about fight club
<sluggy> Both Caesar and Brutus had good intentions and good qualities about them. However, they both contained flaws that led to their downfall, thus making them both "tragic heroes" in the Shakespearian sense. Self improvement is masturbation, and you are not your fucking Khakis.

#22867 +(1288)- [X]

(Headache) oh <censored>, the power just went off
(Headache) ....
(Headache) wait a minute
(Headache) y does this seem wrong

#26729 +(88)- [X]

<Dracostian> i just saw the worst movie ever
<spanker> your birth?

#27944 +(1984)- [X]

UsMc-LiTe: OMFG I JUST GOT A GF!!!!!!!!!
AkIrAgOrN909: Sadly folks, hes talking about the Grandfather sword in Diablo 2.

#34110 +(188)- [X]

Cursed Pirate of the Seas: arrr me lungs hurt
RokChik: stop breathing so much

#34493 +(32)- [X]

crt0- sex criminal?
crt0- oh smooth criminal
crt0- nevermind

#36712 +(73)- [X]

*** Soze-AWAY is now known as Soze
* Soze is back -( Doin' stuff. )- gone 2 hr 46 min 26 s
<Al_Koholic> Jesus
<Al_Koholic> that was a long masturbation session
<Soze> It's fucking raw... luckily, the blood can be used as lube.

#37505 +(417)- [X]

<Ray[RDN]> My skin is all pale, im like superskinny, and I smell bad.
<Ray[RDN]> I think i'm dead

#38233 +(464)- [X]

<SteveTheNormalGuy> link plzzzzzzzzz
<SteveTheNormalGuy> wait, another z should do it
<MegamanX2K> x
<MegamanX2K> err
<MegamanX2K> damnit
* MegamanX2K cannot spell "z"

#41065 +(209)- [X]

<plantboy> all the good presidents get shot
<NovaKANE> plantboy: or head

#42062 +(218)- [X]

<Rangsk> I still remember trying to read from a floppy in dos... with no floppy in
<Rangsk> I was always too scared to press "fail" cause I thought it would ruin my floppy drive
<Artanis> lol
<Rangsk> so I had to scramble for a floppy
<Veldhar[GD]> lol
<Rangsk> then type a
<Veldhar[GD]> reminds me of one of my friends, a LONG time ago, when he knew nothing at comps or so, rebooted his comp each time he wanted to go back at C:> because he didn't knew "cd .."

#43330 +(210)- [X]

*** bflyblue (shaun@a4-jhb-57.dial-up.net) has joined #gothik
<bflyblue> identify d
*** bflyblue has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by Jezebel)))
<Jezebel> *blink*
<Jezebel> omigod
<Jezebel> hahahahha
*** Jezebel is now known as Wither
<Wither> no one say a thing :)

#53487 +(156)- [X]

<JanusLexington> have you guys seen the new MSN commercial?
<JanusLexington> with friend browsing?
<JanusLexington> worst
<JanusLexington> invention
<JanusLexington> EVAR
<Caff> pay $14.95 to browse web with your friends
<JanusLexington> friend porn browsing...

#54110 +(186)- [X]

<kow> anyone know where active desktop info is stored in win2k?
<kow> like the HTML files
<APE_> same place bill gates hides the porn in win2k
<kow> fuck
<kow> I'm not gonna find it right?
<APE_> theres 200mb worth of porn built into windows, i mean how do u think it got that large?

#54352 +(799)- [X]

< cae> you people all suffer from ADD apparently
< krapnggt> i suffer from SUBTRACT.

#60143 +(554)- [X]

<SJr> ped did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Mook did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Mojo did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Liam did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<Mook> no I didn't know that
<Mook> happy kiloweek

#67711 +(448)- [X]

<danamania> pfft. exploding batteries. once again a PC manufacturer copies something apple was doing YEARS ago

#74074 +(180)- [X]

<Sk1nn3r> I like teenagers becuse all you have to do is supersize thier dinner and they put out.

#74519 +(315)- [X]

<sirex> is there an enlightenment key sequence to run a command without a shell?
<Ralp> Probably
<sirex> thanks ralp
<Ralp> I'm here to help!
<Ralp> Wait, no I'm not, I'm here to avoid the drudgery of my real life and wallow in denial.

#75137 +(132)- [X]

<blueroo> Seattle FD has a real time 911 dispatch log online
<blueroo> that's pretty cool
<ircsloth> I bet where I live the log would be like 2
<ircsloth> ours would be like "2:12am Cow on road again"
<ircsloth> "2:30am Drunk guy passed out in middle of road"

#75802 +(406)- [X]

<Volt9000> Grog is where it's at
<AL9000> Yar!
<Volt9000> Do you mock me?
<AL9000> No, I'm agreeing with you
<Volt9000> LIAR! You mock me with your pirate attitude!
<Volt9000> I'll make you WALK TEH PLAKN!!!!11
* AL9000 yanks off Volt's pants

#79625 +(247)- [X]

<Morris> Ahh... alcoholic Jell-O
<reppy> :o
<Morris> Rep, do you understand the excellence?
<reppy> :O

#82226 +(276)- [X]

<a_passerby> and although she has never given me written consent to check her legs, i most certainly have
<flatface> lol
<Saotome_Ranma> testosterone alert
<Saotome_Ranma> woo woo
<Saotome_Ranma> passerb is becoming horny :o
<a_passerby> testosterone makes the world go round
<a_passerby> estrogen makes the world mad and unfriendly
<Everdraed> Says the person who just went through twenty plus pages of Winnie the Pooh hentai

#90120 +(655)- [X]

<screevo> I'm stranded at the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump...

#96125 +(238)- [X]

<nastsmom> this place looks like a ghost town
<Espresso> try changing the colors of your client so it looks like hawaii or somethign

#105177 +(124)- [X]

<phreakinb> 1876: At the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, America's first 100-year birthday bash, fair goers visit the Turkish Hashish Exposition and toke up in order to enhance their fair experience.
<`WarpKat> it's nice to know that my parents weren't the only stoners from the past

#119678 +(1133)- [X]

Fairytalehero: ok, so someitmes me and kel shower together
Fairytalehero: and i'll have to pee. so i go "hey kel, look at this" or something, and start PEEING ON HER
Fairytalehero: she gets so mad and tries to block it
Fairytalehero: but i'm like HAHA I'M PEEING ON YOUR HAND

#141296 +(210)- [X]

<Ayesha> half the men in my family have mullets XD
<dunderhead> are half the people in your family in serious relationships with other people in the famly as well?
<dunderhead> thats usually the consequence of rocking the mullet

#175675 +(1106)- [X]

<nirgleNap> lol, i just put on Najma as i'm sitting here wiring up a circuit board
<nirgleNap> i realized how "odd" this might look.. having arab music playing as i'm soldering red and green wires to a board full of ICs

#200852 +(517)- [X]

P][s7: Jez and I get in line for the bathroom, and every guy in line immediately pushes her to the front. She asks why, and they say, "Because you actually have to go." The door opens and three guys come out of the one-room bathroom together. The last one stops, says, "Oh wait, I have to pee," and heads back into the bathroom.

#205195 +(7428)- [X]

<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!

#389536 +(1521)- [X]

<Foxx> im never fallin in love
<Foxx> i've decided
<FuriousC> you dont choose who you love, love chooses you
<FuriousC> and that little fucking son of a bitch sticks itself to your face like the godless bloodsucking bastards in Alien and refuses to let go until it has drained your soul and left you an empty shell of a human being

#420439 +(357)- [X]

<@Casper> Girl from work and I went to the pool hall
<@Casper> I asked her if she wanted to start talking
<@Casper> She said we would talk about it tomorrow
<@Casper> She has a nice looking sister too
<@cypher> start talking about what?
<@Casper> going out
<@cypher> people _plan_ relationship status?
<Vehementi> not only do they plan relationship status, they plan *talking* about relationship status.
<Vehementi> later in the relationship this is more commonly known as the "Let's talk about our relationship" trap
<@cypher> Vehementi: <3
<sh> $relationship->discuss();
<sh> new Relationship;

#454906 +(1297)- [X]

<Biomech-> i took a shit earlier that weighed about 200g, well unimpressed
<Nezzie> so, do you actually scoop it out of the toilet?
<Biomech-> im slightly more sophisticated than that
<@cai> you're weighing shit, how sophisticated can it get?

#610717 +(731)- [X]

<NathanielsBlaze> what do you think the game would be called if mario had a gun
<FalconWarrior> Metroid.

#623768 +(511)- [X]

MrLauritson: I have concluded that M$ are a bunch of dirty bastards.
Kestral: Why's that?
MrLauritson: Basically I was talking to one of my female friends on MSN this morning.
MrLauritson: And she said "Well, it's Sunday so I'm going to go have a bath before starting one of those wonderful essays which I love writing so much xD"
MrLauritson: Literally JUST as she says that, I get a message at the top of the screen telling me that we both have webcams and can have a video conversation o.O

#625822 +(710)- [X]

Scott: i need a title for an essay about how i go over and above what is asked of me
Scott: because its a reflection on myself
Austin: "Second to None: The Story of How I Spit on God"

#720098 +(861)- [X]

<bluechip> so
<bluechip> apparently my younger sister
<bluechip> learning to drive
<bluechip> does not actually look behind her
<bluechip> when she backs up
<bluechip> or check any of her mirrors
<bluechip> so now, instead of having two separate cars
<bluechip> we have one.. big car

#760798 +(-255)- [X]

<+TrailMix> don't bugs always have wings?
<+Inca> centipede?
<@rowsdower`> centipedes do not have wings
<@rowsdower`> thank god
<@rowsdower`> i would just shoot myself if they did
<+Jack> jesus

#774876 +(919)- [X]

<Sp3cial> STEP 1: Spout retarded crap about beardy guys and overlords.
<Sp3cial> STEP 2: Live in a time when people are retarded.
<Sp3cial> STEP 3: ?????
<Sp3cial> STEP 4: PROPHET!

#794379 +(3209)- [X]

#920525 +(1539)- [X]

<jaffa> think of the children!
<bobf> oh gimme a break, I've spent *hours* today thinking of the children, my wrist is too sore to do it any longer

0.0400 20982 quotes approved; 6265 quotes pending
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