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#531 +(940)- [X]

<Fustard> i should take a picture of my penis like orion, and give it away as a present
<w3nis> maybe you shouldnt
<DigDug> yeah, maybe you shouldn't
<Fustard> yeah maybe i shouldnt

#2133 +(427)- [X]

<Kashan> I think we should circumsize horses so they look prettier in the porn videos

#3006 +(364)- [X]

<djLiKu> 8=========D
<insanelee> wow.. . is that life size?
<djLiKu> yeah
<djLiKu> if u have a 200 inch monitor

#5271 +(705)- [X]

* xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of Cat-5 cables"
<xL> #1: A windows NT network

#6418 +(5)- [X]

<suchness> my ear wax is pure black!?!?!?!?!
<suchness> WTF

#7187 +(132)- [X]

<solo> Think about a time in your life which you had the most fun, well....then picture work being the total opposite

#7790 +(699)- [X]

<zyrowan> when I have a fiance
<zyrowan> I'm going to get "Will you marry me?" tatooed on the back of my balls
<zyrowan> and talk her into a rim job
<zyrowan> it'll be soo romantic

#10075 +(1486)- [X]

<Vic> You there X?
<X> no
<X> fuck

#20269 +(272)- [X]

<Graeme> Fifty-nine people have attempted suicide and, out of this, 26 people have died. This is of great concern
<Graeme> i bet it fucking is.. a return rate of 50% is pretty shitty

#24333 +(188)- [X]

<Maven`> I'm god in 8 channels of the 8 i'm in. I own 228 sluts.
Preach> you're a fucking dork who needs to get laid
<Preach> nuff said
<Maven`> true

#36099 +(302)- [X]

<Fat-Burrick> you have an obsession, Fuegan
<Fat-Burrick> let me help you
* Fuegan unzips
<Fat-Burrick> oh jesus

#37767 +(869)- [X]

<Bookworm> bash.org I don't think it's abuse, do you?
<IICV> bash.org Why are we prefacing everything with bash.org?
<JeremiahSmith> bash.org Nope.
<AngelHedgie> bash.org No, more like pointing out the flaw in the script.
<JeremiahSmith> bash.org Because Yin-Tzu's scripts filter out all lines that contain bash.org.
<Bookworm> bash.org - iicv - Yin-Tzu has a script that replaces the whole line that has bash.org in it with "I'm a flaming lamer"
<IICV> bash.org Spiffy.
<JeremiahSmith> bash.org So he doesn't know we're talking about him.
<AngelHedgie> bash.org So we're trying to drive a point home.

#39254 +(794)- [X]

<Pazzo> anyone got a windows XP cd-key?
<ClinRaro> Pazzo: FCKGW-E4TMY-C0CK-F4G0T
Pazzo is ~ident@tide110.microsoft.com

#40522 +(469)- [X]

<ratsun> damnit i started a smallbox game but nobody came on the field so i exited and now i cant get in
<ratsun> what to do?
<super-radish> reboot
<ratsun> the computer?
<super-radish> no, i mean take your shoes off and put them back on
<ratsun> i'm not wearing shoes.....

#42848 +(107)- [X]

<Vaelin> ah, see, now i'd like to be the kind of person who writes their own scripts.. i'm practically that sort of guy
<Vaelin> only i've got a lot less initiative, so i just sit there and say "i'd like to write my own scripts."
<Vaelin> and that is all i do towards learning to write my own scripts

#43684 +(189)- [X]

<SteamedHams> linux fags are like normal fags, only more efficient

#48714 +(184)- [X]

<chickenpotpie> i'm gunna make a porn rpg
<Spoon> what would happen when you leveled up?
<chickenpotpie> you'd get a better sex toy
<BlackRaven> Chrisetn...  Amarthdae..  Kardelian.. Erandir... and Zelendrile all go off and have fun in that cave that they were in before they went to the castle on the shore..
<Spoon> Ass_Master leveled up!  Ass_Master learned [Doggie Style]!

#50769 +(316)- [X]

<Koult> ah yes, but fat people are harder to kidnap

#55568 +(614)- [X]

<vocalizedWHORE> mmm, c++
<vocalizedWHORE> do.this();
<vocalizedWHORE> do.that();
<vocalizedWHORE> if (error)
<vocalizedWHORE> blame(microsoft);

#59896 +(12)- [X]

<Nvrmr> were gonna have stalkers
<Nvrmr> gonna have turks knocking on our door asking how to use FlashFXP

#62044 +(229)- [X]

<hpr-vb6> $2 bills pwn
<Cracker`tv> KEEP THE 2S!
<[LIQuid]> why?!
<Cracker`tv> take them to strip clubs when you get older... strippers dont look too hard and they think they're twenties!!!

#66350 +(403)- [X]

*** SyKnight (SyKnight@mctn1-3751.nb.aliant.net) has joined the channel
<UrbnLgnd> :)
*** SyKnight has left the channel
<UrbnLgnd> i guess I have an ugly face

#71167 +(765)- [X]

<mattttttt> shut up
<mattttttt> all of you
<cat9> fuck off
<mattttttt> shut the fuck up and stop filling up my logs
<cat9> if you want silence, go and idle in notepad

#74684 +(216)- [X]

<SlasherX> #php is all communist based
* @Didgerama drives a tank down the middle of #php
<Ballig> Didgerama: You're a commie, you can't afford a tank
<Ballig> You can ride a bicycle with a dart gun, though

#75980 +(294)- [X]

<brislane> apparently porn is degrading to women, and leads to a violent atmosphere
<akawaka> when its switched off

#77412 +(275)- [X]

<GothYena> I have a brother who breeds wolves in Alabama.
<RosenOttr> breeds them, or with them?
<|Wolf|> :D
<GothYena> I'll assume both.

#79784 +(162)- [X]

< +Jen > I dont want to visit shitcity.com because my parents are around, tell me more about it
< Ad_Libitum > girls eating shit.... literally
< Ad_Libitum > thats all u have to know
< +x_quest > and you get bestiality pop ups
< +Jen > Cool, free?
< +big_mac > yeah
< +Jen > I mean I have videos of that stuff ^_^
< Ad_Libitum > ........
< +big_mac > oh god
< +Dyne_Zears > .........
< ravix > you are seriously disturbed
< +Jen > I like to call it "open minded"

#81847 +(285)- [X]

<Xero_Omega>I can imagine a Micro$oft coffee mug, you buy it, and after 2 mugs of coffee, a 2-inch steel plate slides out, preventing you from drinking anymore until you register your mug.

#88572 +(192)- [X]

<seeksama> i think my semen is the color of the last gatorade i drank
<seeksama> like thos commericials with the guys sweating red
<seeksama> i can cum red if i drink the right gatorade
<seeksama> or purple
<seeksama> it owns
<Mikelite> ...

#104531 +(766)- [X]

<Flirbnic> HAHAHA SQUINKY MADE A GRAMMATICAL ERROR.
<Squinky> HAHHA FLIRBNIC HAS A BIG BUTT AND HIS BUTT STINKS AND HIS HEAD IS HIS BUTT.
<Flirbnic> Stop it, I'm very sensitive about that. :(

#108596 +(162)- [X]

--> Globulus (~XXXXXX@XXXXXX.XXXXXXcpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined #c
* Globulus why they ban me from #china all I say is "ME CHINESE ME MAKE JOKE ME PUT PEE PEE IN YOUR COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
--- qball sets ban on *!*@*.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com

#114352 +(2248)- [X]

Spoon35: http://www.oddworldz.com/fmweekly/kellypinup.jpg
SenorWeird: who?
Momog: hehe
SenorWeird: who is that?
Momog: kelly hu = the wolverine chick from xmen
SenorWeird: Kelly who?
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly?
Momog: heh
Momog: it's a trap!
SenorWeird: Just tell me the chick's name. It's Kelly what?
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: ?!
SenorWeird: The chick you just posted a picture of!
Spoon35: Hu
SenorWeird: That's what I wanna know! Kelly who!
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: So it's Kelly Exactly!
* Marty11 Laughs in the strange confusion
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: The girl in the picture you posted is Kelly Exactly
Momog: Hu, Kelly.
Momog: HA!
SenorWeird: Yes, Kelly, Momog.
Spoon35: Kelly Momog??
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly
Momog: doh
SenorWeird: Okay, you know what? Forget this.
SenorWeird: Let's talk about that hot chick in Mulholland Drive and The Ring.
SenorWeird: What's her name?
Momog: who?
SenorWeird: her name
Spoon35: Watts.
SenorWeird: yes, I think my question was quite clear.
Spoon35: Watts.
* Momog covers his ears and screams
SenorWeird: are you not understanding me?
SenorWeird: Who is the chick from The Ring?
Spoon35: I think I understand. you want to know Watts.
SenorWeird: Not What, who. Who is the chick from The Ring.
Spoon35: no, Watts is the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Who is?
Spoon35: no, she was in X2
SenorWeird: What?!
Spoon35: exactly.
SenorWeird: Exactly was in X2. okay.
SenorWeird: so then Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: Hu was.
SenorWeird: Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: no. Watts was in the Ring. Hu was in X2.
SenorWeird: Exactly. Now, let's get back to the Ring. What's that chick's name?
Spoon35: watts.
SenorWeird: okay, I'm lost.
SenorWeird: What's the name of the chick from X2?
Spoon35: no, Watts is the name of the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Forget about the ring. I don't want to hear about Who was in the ring.
Spoon35: watts
SenorWeird: Am I not clear? Who was in X2?
Spoon35: yes.
SenorWeird: Yes?
SenorWeird: Yes what?
Spoon35: Yes Hu! No Watts.
SenorWeird: ....
SenorWeird: What?!
Momog: i am logging this and using it as blackmail against you both
SenorWeird: oh, this is either genius or stupidity.

#114600 +(-27)- [X]

áMix-Master-Movies:  MY GROUP NAME IS
áMix-Master-Movies:  REAL MOVIES ON KAZAA
áamanda:  the link
áMix-Master-Movies:  ITS ON MSN
Mix-Master-Movies:  SO AMANDA WILL YOU JOIN
áamanda:  no
áMix-Master-Movies:  WHY
áamanda:  i dont usa kazaaa
áamanda:  and u wont give me the link.
Mix-Master-Movies:  WHAT LINK
áMix-Master-Movies:  I DONT HAVE A WEBSITE
áMix-Master-Movies:  ITS IN THE MSN GROUPS

#126740 +(842)- [X]

<amy25``> hey it's summer - bad time for passwords - get outside and stop masturbating!
<activexyz> better 1st stop masturbating and than go outside
<CrashFix> LOL ;-)
<CrashFix> timing is everything

#137079 +(660)- [X]

<+kostya> what means "+" befor my nick?
<@chopra> kostya: it means someone made a mistake

#144851 +(224)- [X]

<aqualung> that's weird, "douche" is the french word for shower
<aqualung> but in english, when used with the word "bag" it becomes an insult
<lefty> lol, you stupid SHOWER BAG
<aqualung> and it also sorta sounds like germany's name in german
<aqualung> if anyone were to associate germany with showers, it would be the jews, not the french ;)
<lefty> yeah, but what's even weirder is the french have a word for something they never use

#187355 +(1129)- [X]

<Ich> broadband sucks in the sense that goatse loads before i can close the window

#198076 +(1056)- [X]

SomethingTrifty: I'm vegetarian for a different reason
SomethingTrifty: It's not because I like animals
SomethingTrifty: i just fucking hate plants

#199300 +(968)- [X]

<marduk> why do all the 14-year old girls at my school have completely impossible crushes, like orlando bloom?
<marduk> why don't they go for someone more realistic?
<marduk> like r. kelly.

#205557 +(6206)- [X]

<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name :)
<Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd have a more communicative name. :)
* Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax
<Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.'
* Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he's out of paper ant toner *
<Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today.
<Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!!
<SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu
* Dark_Fax displays wrong time *
* Dark_Fax rings for no reason *
* Kami is now known as VCR-clock
* Dark_Fax gets a paper jam *
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<VCR-clock> :)
* Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter *
<Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!!
* Dark_Fax rings again for no reason *
* VCR-clock blinks some more
* SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here
* Dark_Fax chases SailorV *  MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!!
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<SailorV> EEEE!
* SailorV unplugs the VCR
* VCR-clock has quit IRC
* Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox
<Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that

#233651 +(1386)- [X]

<Chrisodeo> veni, veni, veni.
<CrazySteve> Pervert.

#238410 +(551)- [X]

<Schwab> so I bought some mary jane last night
<Schwab> about a quarters worth
<Schwab> then I planted it in this jackass's car
<Schwab> then I called the cops
<Schwab> and now he's on parol violation
<Schwab> lesson in all of this....don't ever..EVER.. fucking touch my food, especially with the intention of ruining it while I'm eating

#239455 +(547)- [X]

[@Killer2{SoB}] WTF
[@Killer2{SoB}] Stupid CNN
[@Killer2{SoB}] "PHILADELPHIA, PAŚResearchers at the University of Temple announced yesterday that they had finally discovered a cure for nicotine addicts: smoking cigarettes."
[@Killer2{SoB}] "The only way to effectively fight the cravings associated with the highly-addictive drug, nicotine, is to give your body its supply of desired nicotine, via smoking another cigarette. Smoking allows the nicotine found in cigarettes to travel to your brain in just seven seconds, effectively satisfying the craving.""

#280066 +(1386)- [X]

<Jaeger> whats an oxymoron
<Edgy> Microsoft Works

#361683 +(264)- [X]

<Fire_Elemental-x-> Interviews suck in general
<apathy> I dunno...
<apathy> I used to like conducting them :)
<Fire_Elemental-x-> all that "where do you see yourself in 10 years" and "what are your strengths and weaknesses" crap
<apathy> heh, my questions were more along the lines of "tell me everything you know about the keyword 'const'"
<Fire_Elemental-x-> Next time someone asks me a 10 years question I'm gonna say "Where you are sitting"
<apathy> heh, then add "No wait, I thought you said 10 months."
<Fire_Elemental-x-> heh

#416921 +(554)- [X]

<berkley> that was wierd
<angled-diamond> berkley: what was?
<berkley> i walked into my friend's dorms room, and it was empty. but the computer was on, and it showed some chic getting it in the ass. so i closed the door and dropped my pants. midway into wacking off and i noticed something
<microfform> ?
<angled-diamond> ?
<berkley> there were no girls...and u know whats sad?
<angled-diamond> that you finished jerking off?
<berkley> ...yes

#513902 +(-80)- [X]

Osmodius: you know what never made sense in star wars?
Osmodius: R2-D2
Osmodius: I mean.. WTF is it
alex: who knows lol
Osmodius: it doesn't even do anything
Osmodius: it just rolls around and makes weird noises
Osmodius: and the light on it alternates between red and blue
alex: i wonder how people understand what its saying
Osmodius: maybe like pokemon
Osmodius: people could understand what they said even though they could only say their name
alex: they should equip r2d2 with a mini chain gun
Lenny: yeah.. and it should double as a frappucino machine
Osmodius: :\

#659546 +(475)- [X]

<rifkin> Happy Flag day everyone
<rifkin> the US army is 231 years old today
<rifkin> to celebrate I am leeching wireless from some iraqi in baghdad

#902611 +(503)- [X]

<Jared> HI Alpha!!!!OMFG ITS S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU....HOW WAS YOUR DAY???
<AlphaLemming> I'm frightened.
<Jared> what. im being 'chipper'
<AlphaLemming> no, you're being psychotic
<AlphaLemming> it's a slightly different font

#919563 +(757)- [X]

<sean> sec
<sean> SSHing to laptop beacuse I can't be bothered to lift it onto table

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