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#276 +(704)- [X]

<papasui> i bought a box of crab ragoons
<papasui> and i looked to see how many calories are in each one
<papasui> and its freaking 400 and 250 fat calories
<Marcus-> "WARNING: May cause manboobs!"

#398 +(1087)- [X]

<PERvERT> i have a 9 inch penis
<Duce> is that in dog inches?

#713 +(281)- [X]

<Lowridah> I don't like getting  8===========D dcc'd to me

#1077 +(287)- [X]

(frOsty-) s|urpee: holy shit, i just stopped caring about this thread of conversation

#1660 +(7921)- [X]

<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

#1860 +(331)- [X]

<DigiGnome> When you recognise most of the links from Portal of Evil because they're on your favourites list, that's the time to start worrying.

#2955 +(54)- [X]

<trccccc> I was going down on this one girl once.... and her clit was the size of my pinkie... I was all DAMN and exscused myself and went back down to the party

#3283 +(245)- [X]

<JibberJim> Your bios doesn't like your 5 1/4" drive roded?
<roded> vmware doesn't actaully
<Jumper_> yeah, downgrade to the 8" again
* Jumper_ had a dual 8" drive - rocked
<JibberJim> 8" is a downgrade? - man you must be liked by the ladies.

#3581 +(268)- [X]

<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err .. inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse, I'll be eating it carefully monitored.

#3632 +(174)- [X]

<tsui-ji> gyl: go into #asian and tell em you are white, have muscles and drive a nice car and mad chicks will msg you

#3689 +(642)- [X]

<Valathar> No matter how depressed you are.... there is NOTHING that can't be fixed by titties.

#3913 +(253)- [X]

<ScumDog> Mexicans rock because down in Mexico they're too poor to update any of the arcade games
<ScumDog> so all the players rock at games on 12-year-old hardware
<ScumDog> not surprisingly, there's also a large concentration of Double Dragon champions there

#4871 +(360)- [X]

<reuben> my dad claims that he got his first piece of ass from a cow.
<reuben> i had a great upbringing

#5703 +(498)- [X]

<DAL9000> VB is like fingerpainting.
<Epitaph> except it's not fun.

#6133 +(333)- [X]

<BedBoB> ERR: scsi_wait_goat() no goat.
<lsd> i'm sure i don't remember having any goats near my old all-SCSI amiga
<Bruce> the mac II here doesnt need goats either
<BedBoB> they have inbuilt goats
<lsd> on-board goat controller

#6418 +(12)- [X]

<suchness> my ear wax is pure black!?!?!?!?!
<suchness> WTF

#6482 +(973)- [X]

<funknut> I like my women like I like my coffee.
<Dokterrock> What, tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro?

#6565 +(317)- [X]

<barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless modem, a
sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're dressed like a mariachi.

#7588 +(244)- [X]

<human> beethoven and mozart should have had a kid
<human> then marry this kid to enya
<human> then have their children play with a roland xp-30
<human> then you'll get some nice tunes

#9683 +(860)- [X]

<Brainded> can anyone help me with a ppp problem?
<mustang> you have a stutter and you're trying to urinate ?

#9684 +(634)- [X]

<darw> where did they drop the hiroshima bomb?

#10615 +(136)- [X]

<WOGBOY_24_7> hey what is windows 98 called = Windows NT4.0 or Windows 9x

#11229 +(27)- [X]

<Bismarck> i recently decided that bsd is dead because it cannot hope to survive when it gives away it's IP with no protections whatsoever.

#11281 +(365)- [X]

<Ouroboros> I think the downfall of the Roman Empire was caused by something similar to IRC.
<Ouroboros> The Roman equivilent of a lawless, perverted group of weirdos, if you will.

#15192 +(232)- [X]

<Kallahar> use telnet
<Nygis> i cant find the answer in telnet
<Kallahar> well, try harder.  maybe you aren't pushing the keys in all the way.
<Nygis> but im pushin as hard as i can

#16926 +(517)- [X]

<@harb> farq: Do I look like the sort of man who'd go and find unsuspecting Japanese schoolgirls in short skirts and white panties and ask them if they want to see my "Cthulu Special"?
< farq> harb: no, but I just got a new .sig

#21915 +(363)- [X]

<@Cain> i
<@Cain> am
<@Cain> ALIVE
<@Cain> yes iam
<@Cain> but no sleep
<@Cain> in days
<@Cain> makes me sad
<@Cain> and not here
*** Cain has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<@Domino_> was that a poem?
<@Domino_> cuz i hate drive-by prose :\

#22135 +(28)- [X]

<kentyman> Show the following problem is NP-complete:  The dominating-set problem:  given a graph G and an integer k, does there exist a subset S of G with k nodes such that each node is either in S or adjacent to a node of S?
<Oax> exactly k nodes
<kentyman> yes, but adding nodes wouldn't change it, no?
<Oax> no
<Oax> it's monotone
<kentyman> like my prof

#22849 +(196)- [X]

<Stormcaller> oh! i found a caltrop in my living room today

#33646 +(115)- [X]

<@PkLvKimZz> Remember to wash: Colon, socks, tshirts

#38429 +(27)- [X]

<Feerless> SCHOOL haha
<Feerless> i have holidays
<Fleebis> DUMBASS haha
<Fleebis> i have ops

#45009 +(489)- [X]

<fireslide> i turned the windows narrator on
<fireslide> it funny as hell :)
<Tolkien`> what does it do?
<fireslide> it narrates stuff man
<Tolkien`> like the text on the screen?
<fireslide> yes
<Tolkien`> is it for deaf people
<Tolkien`> or something?

#45803 +(344)- [X]

<Kevyn> Ugh. I just had to explain to Jessica what fap meant. Thanks guys.

#48967 +(350)- [X]

<ChaosDragon> Can someone explain this to me?
<ChaosDragon> "Christmas Star - Outdoor Icicle Lights
<ChaosDragon> For indoor use only."
<Custodian> lol
<Custodian> that's almost as good as the shower cap box with "fits one head" on it
<Custodian> (from a hotel in disney, france)
<Roachie> LOL
<Custodian> I can only assume the french have some odd shower habbits

#49288 +(133)- [X]

<Morokiane> you go fishing for couches?  that's gotta suck
<Khe> you're telling me
<Khe> only got two catches last month
<Khe> had to throw the other one back, too small
<Morokiane> damn...bad day
<Khe> they bag you if you keep loveseats
<Morokiane> figures they wouldn't let you have the best
<Khe> cause then they can't go upsteam and spawn
* Morokiane makes note not to couch fish in Cali
<Khe> and you fsck with the population for next season

#71641 +(142)- [X]

<DJDevil-San> i currently have no CDBurner/copier/etc....and is it possible to download the drivers and stuff and my CD drive becomes one?

#71888 +(213)- [X]

* Apollo- pokes IceKarma
* IceKarma pokes Apollo- back
* Apollo- i spoked
<Apollo-> s/i/is/
<Apollo-> s/spoked/poked/
<Apollo-> s/Apollo- i spoked/Apollo is drunk/

#75274 +(357)- [X]

<SpaceCow> moses
<SpaceCow> did he have his own group of folowers as jesus and mohammed did?
<AL9000> No
<AL9000> He just led the jews out of Egypt
<AL9000> for 40 years
<+Exor[B-A]> heh
<AL9000> Worst. Guide. Ever.
<SpaceCow> hahaha
<+DopefishJustin> hehe
<+DopefishJustin> well God was deliberately making them go in circles
<+DopefishJustin> because they pissed him off with the golden calf
<SpaceCow> "Ok, lets go across the desert" *Two years later* "Wait, lets go back, I dropped a nickel"

#75993 +(106)- [X]

* Dark is listening to his roommate play Mike Tyson's Punch-Out
<Durandal> Dark : Isn't there a bonus level where you can rape Mike Tyson's wife?

#82153 +(-20)- [X]

<soul|FL> i am gonna move to utah
<soul|FL> and bang that chic doggy
<soul|FL> shes 64

#217286 +(301)- [X]

Ifonlyiwerecool: we're supposed to make a program for java, and it has to get the highest # out of a set
Ifonlyiwerecool: and we're supposed to name the program 'getHigh'

#231223 +(1257)- [X]

<lude> Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.

#238071 +(381)- [X]

<Guest34423> is Microsoft Access available in windows?
<Pinchiukas> no, it's for linux

#246585 +(532)- [X]

Montehall: eh 9 inches less and I would have a scar
TwitchOSX: lol
TwitchOSX: uh huh
HomeBrewR: 9" less and you'd have a 7" deep pussy

#356183 +(835)- [X]

<GWH> funny when you and your girlfriend are fighting over aim
<GWH> and then you realize you dont have to sit there till she answers, you can do other shit too

#375158 +(359)- [X]

cardrealmsk8: i made it to 2nd base today
Nck Tracy: nice.
Nck Tracy: I made it to third, but there was no one else with me.

#414407 +(7)- [X]

* Force| looks at the topic
*** Topic on #athlon is: Welcome to #longbus
<Force|> Wow!
<Force|> I'm finally on the long bus!!!

#569178 +(176)- [X]

<SharpShooter>  else if( $A['type'] ']']']']']== ']']']']']==']']']']==']']']==']']==']=='poll' )  <--- anything wrong with that line?
<@Gordon> Ya, I get kinda dizzy when I try to read it
<@Working> what the fuck.

#591385 +(1297)- [X]

(cyber1|t0) anyone know how i can open up pm's without a mouse pm me now
(cyber1|t0) actually dont pm

#816652 +(2672)- [X]

<-Roach-> Ah you see I wouldn't always trust Wikipedia as it is edited by people.
<Bewildebeast> I hear Brittanica is edited by manatees.

0.0506 21085 quotes approved; 626 quotes pending
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