#446 +(358)- [X]
<SYch0> my mom got rearended
#459 +(207)- [X]
<panacea_> im going to the doctor tomorrow morning regarding my thumb
<Lordaerom> panacea_, so much fucking wanking
#2551 +(363)- [X]
<Amanda> And do these people in the STD medication commercials really have the advertised diseases, and if not, how much extra do they get paid to say that they do?
#2958 +(320)- [X]
<datz510> u prolly race grandmas goin tot he grocery store too huh
<BenK> I race hardcore racers
<BenK> people with tinted windows
<BenK> and 20 inch rims
<datz510> Ben.. like other hondas?
#3188 +(522)- [X]
<Chaderz> Damnit man, get MSN!
<Dog_Welder> Unlike most, I find that Bill's dick chafes my ass
#3694 +(430)- [X]
<CrackHoe> I was so drunk last night I could not even jerkoff
<CrackHoe> well I could
<CrackHoe> but I was so drunk I lost interest
#4202 +(430)- [X]
<kr0ss> some idiot on the radio said dildos are banned in alabama
<X-Spectre> dildos proably were banned like a hundred years ago with some dumb law and they haven't changed it yet
<CiXeL> cant ban broomstick handles
#8614 +(144)- [X]
<shwartz> anyone know about text interface ftp browsers?
<inflex> "text interface ftp browsers"
<inflex> are you referring to ftp(1)?
<Deviate> Like the kind where you have to do all that typing?!
<Deviate> Those are so 80's!
#12112 +(930)- [X]
<zfact0r> I was playing Monopoly last night when I was drunk and I paid a chick 500 bucks in Monopoly Money for a blowjob.
#13111 +(215)- [X]
<neia_doll> Im 5 foot 11 and 116 lbs..i lost 3 on accident..
<neia_doll> so Im pretty skinny
<k-rad-bob> you got an abortion?
#14305 +(464)- [X]
PhantomStark> <-- laughing too hard to express it in internet acronyms
#14331 +(227)- [X]
[Lyme] My granpa is seriously nuts. When my parents went to visit him for his 60th anniversary thingie, he wore 1 dangly woman's earing and a gilligan hat.
#14454 +(297)- [X]
<gweeds> i am now completely out of credit card debt
<gweeds> time to dive back in
#14977 +(47)- [X]
<H8Breeder-> when i was 13 i would go over to my brothers house to watch a porno when he wasnt there, then i'd ride my bike back to my house to beat off
#16665 +(521)- [X]
<@drew> my uterus is bleeding
<@cognac> drew, you don't have a uterus
#21908 +(45)- [X]
<+LC-Slayer[FS]> can i have ops in here soon
<@SkyHawk> prolly not, we need some pe0ns
#22096 +(483)- [X]
<pooshda> ICQ is nicer than AIM because it doesnt pop up like BLAM I JUST FUCKED UP YOUR BRUSH STROKE NIGGA!
#23382 +(386)- [X]
<jonathans> can you kick his ass
<Rjx> I know karate, he knows kickboxing
<Rjx> but if I punched him he'd break my network card
<jonathans> nevermind then
#37120 +(88)- [X]
quits: ReD_JaCk (firstname.lastname@example.org) (Quit: Errection killed by beer)
#42657 +(576)- [X]
<Kosh> Wait for the LotR cereal to come out... Frod-O's, with a free prize ring inside
#43487 +(176)- [X]
(trich): man, I'm bored
(slippy^): this is accepted already by the fact you're on irc
(slippy^): mind when i do something interesting i tend to come on irc to tell everybody
#43514 +(52)- [X]
<fuGs|xoph|work> his pr0n is only readable in win98 form?
#51990 +(138)- [X]
< gimbgoth> Fatal-Err: yeah, that's a bummer huh
< Fatal-Err> bummer? what means bummer?
<+Moak> it's fuck in the "okay-to-say-at-mom's-table" version
#52757 +(729)- [X]
<Erth2rst> I'm seventeen years old, I'm home alone, sitting here naked, and I'm rubbing my nipples.
<Erth2rst> If only I were female..
#58995 +(81)- [X]
<Rackshack-GregM> got my first DVD-A on Tuesday
<RS-Andrew> dvd-a? double vaginal double anal?
<Rackshack-GregM> DVD Audio
#74579 +(129)- [X]
<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail# man how to get laid
<mindfuck> No manual entry for how
<mindfuck> No manual entry for to
<mindfuck> No manual entry for get
<mindfuck> No manual entry for laid
<Nikita> see if there is an RFC for that
<Nikita> maybe a mini HOW-TO or something...
#75636 +(-153)- [X]
<jjwalker> hhmmm, not breathing isnt good
<Mulvane> jjwalker: it is for you
<Mulvane> Or least for us if you dont
<+seraph> jjwalker: that just earned you a spot on bash.org
<jjwalker> I didn't say anyhting funny
<Mulvane> the ever faithful reply one can expect from jjwalker ..
#83994 +(163)- [X]
<migas> is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
<Kurin> Or, hrm
<ninj4_> dood, its a robot, hes not actually looking for an answer
<Kurin> Really? Fuck em
#88575 +(10535)- [X]
<Stormrider> I should bomb something
<Stormrider> ...and it's off the cuff remarks like that that are the reason I don't log chats
<Stormrider> Just in case the FBI ever needs anything on me
<Elzie_Ann> I'm sure they can just get it from someone who DOES log chats.
*** FBI has joined #gamecubecafe
<FBI> We saw it anyway.
*** FBI has quit IRC (Quit: )
#89668 +(601)- [X]
<SPeedY_B> q c12sd4r5tf`1 vb`1qqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws
<SPeedY_B> q c12sd4r5tf`1 vb`1qqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws
<SPeedY_B> q c12sd4r5tf`1 vb`1qqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws
<SPeedY_B> ..And so ends lesson 1 of : "how to clean the keyboard while on IRC"
#137351 +(605)- [X]
<jeebas> seems like i have quite a few kids on ebay
<jeebas> err bids
#143577 +(400)- [X]
<Zorah> You're like a merry go round.. everyones had a ride.
<Exodus> just the ones who are taller than 5'
#158246 +(720)- [X]
<Spektor> A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.
<Spektor> Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."
<MikeYb0y> Not another life story Spektor!
#219421 +(372)- [X]
<Lunaris> In Taiwan, A Sperm Whale Suddenly exploded in the streets
<Lunaris> according to my newspaper
<Stiletto> I heard something about that
<Stiletto> I wish I had been there
<Lunaris> theres blood and guts everywhere...
<Stiletto> That would have fuckin ruled to see
<Thalamasa> So wait
<Thalamasa> So there's this sperm whale
<Stiletto> "Dude that fuckin whale just exploded!"
<Thalamasa> In the streets
<Thalamasa> And it just exploded
<Thalamasa> Out of nowhere
<Stiletto> It was being hauled
<Stiletto> To a science lab
<Lunaris> it was being carried on a flatbed
<Stiletto> And internal pressure caused it to combust
<Stiletto> Sperm whale isn't meant to be anywhere except water
<Lunaris> and BOOM!!
<Stiletto> I can explain more if you like
<Flession> now they gotta clean up all the sperm
<Lunaris> I am never going to that site again
<Thalamasa> Thank you for turning a whale exploding
<Thalamasa> into a bukkake fest
<Flession> I try
#257382 +(2187)- [X]
<Berawler> Is there any sanity or light left in this shrivelled husk of a world?
<SingingDancingMoose> There was, but we had to trade it in for the internet.
<Berawler> That is quite possibly the best response to any question ever.
#343805 +(1847)- [X]
<Elbonio> You know how women say "I wouldnt sleep with you even if you were the last man on earth" ? Well if you WERE the last two people on the earth, i hardly think sex is the first thing on your mind... it's clearly going to be "let's raid Toys'R'us.."
#348498 +(9256)- [X]
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?
#364005 +(1585)- [X]
Spreadursunshine: wow you werent online all yesterday
EinhanderMKII: Yeah I was out doing things PRODUCTIVE
Spreadursunshine: omg! its a breakthrough
Spreadursunshine: like what?
EinhanderMKII: fixing my internet
#374313 +(1625)- [X]
jdayish: what do you think of bush and kerry
perfectblue_halo: the movie trailer for Aliens Versus Predator comes to mind... "Whoever wins, we lose."
#375296 +(42)- [X]
<tomato> So Chris, you blew bubbles as a kid?
<Chris> yes tom i did
<tomato> Well Chris he just called, he's looking for you
#428807 +(2318)- [X]
Safia: your just sittin there watching me?
Sean: No I have creepy music playing too
#448314 +(2261)- [X]
* badlands dials phone-a-hooker
<WhitAdept> phone brb
#453626 +(293)- [X]
<@Carmen> I wish I did all the things I wanted to do to my EX before we broke up
<@Carmen> Selling her to that guy out east for 6000 would have been a good start
<@Deadlymouse> should have taken four goats and a Camel when you were offered it
<@Carmen> Ya would have gotten more from the goat
#514827 +(3052)- [X]
<Azemilcar> What do you Brits say when you stereotype American speech?
<Starblaydia> anything lacking irony or sarcasm usually qualifies, Azemilcar
<Yamatto> or we just hoot like gibbons and invade sandy countries.
#576373 +(48)- [X]
<Baumann> all I know is that Pascal is really pretty
<Dan> I think Pascal is a little chubby to be called pretty.
<Baumann> <<insert your mom comment here>>
<Dan> man, comparing my mom to pascal would be harsh
<Baumann> on Pascal, I know
<Baumann> you're mom's more like VB
<Baumann> bloaty and only stupid people would touch it
#627287 +(618)- [X]
<NG-Buddhist> I found something humorously racist on Friday
<NG-Buddhist> I was reading a magazine from my English room after my exam, about the most influential people of the last 50 years
<NG-Buddhist> and various pictures were cut out, but i didnt think about it
<NG-Buddhist> then i got to the back of the book, and someone glued in Rosa Park's picture of her sitting there
#696388 +(2434)- [X]
<Jace> god this computer is running like a dog
<h0ax> Jace unless it is a lame dog or missing several limbs, dogs usually run pretty fast
<h0ax> I wouldnt want to race one
<Jace> god this computer is running like an elepant
<Jace> hope they run slow
<h0ax> memory is working well then?
<mole-inc> elephants are pretty fast
<ReKTeK> they can run faster than humans :P
<h0ax> why dont you say a turtle or something
<h0ax> turtles are KNOWN for being slow
<Jace> god this computer is running like a TURTLE FINE HA
<h0ax> but then.. it did beat the hare..
<Jace> god this computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> no, they're fast, usually. except against turtles.
<mole-inc> god this computer is running like a crippled ant.
<Jace> god this computer is running like a turtle unless competing against a hare in which case the computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> you know you could just say it's running slow.
<Jace> oh yeh
<Jace> could do that... i guess...
#754623 +(693)- [X]
srjames: my girlfriend called asked me to come over, i told her i was setting up freebsd
srjames: she thought i was doing drugs
#808383 +(418)- [X]
<jarmund> I've always wanted to have sex while watching midget-porn, just to see if it's humanly possible to have an orgasm while laughing your ass off
#847733 +(4254)- [X]
l70uke: network connections says it cant find an IP address
dbbolton: open a web browser and type 192.168.1.1 in the address bar
dbbolton: what happens
l70uke: "please enter disk into drive a"
dbbolton: what the FUCK