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#1231 +(455)- [X]

*** Ryan_ sets mode: +b *!*@*.homosexual.opers
<vanity> wow
<vanity> you just banned 85% of the channel

#1306 +(391)- [X]

(nexxai) holy fuck...I was just reading a ton of IRC quotes, then got up, and it was like I entered a new dimension
(nexxai) reality.....it's weirder than you think.

#2506 +(374)- [X]

<Dracon> weird.. seems like no matter what i do, cpu usage never shows 0.0%.

#2913 +(202)- [X]

<Berzerker> what are you goign to pick? 
<ding> HAWT PAWKETS

#3465 +(423)- [X]

<f9|war3beta> These Mint Skittles taste like shit.
<Brentai> MINT SKITTLES?
<JDigital> f9: Tell me about it. Over here, we call the green ones "Excre-mint".
<JDigital> Alternatively known as "New car smell" flavour.

#5785 +(51)- [X]

<scar_> what was the fastest vehicle in ww2?
<Hatter> ?
<Hatter> Jet
<Hatter> ww2 saw the first jet engine
<scar_> no, silly
<scar_> a jew on a bicycle through berlin
<Hatter> :\

#6130 +(555)- [X]

<nail|away> Packaging systems are lame. Tarballs are lamer.
          So is source. I install me software with personally magnetized
          needles and a steady hand.

#6464 +(657)- [X]

<chin|werk> msimn can kiss my fucking bloody ass
<chin|werk> outlook express is a little fucking drama queen
<chin|werk> "OOoOHHHH, YOU UPGRADED TO IE 6"
<chin|werk> "WELL IM NOT GONNA WORK ANYMORE"

#6734 +(160)- [X]

<pms> If you spot a minority in your gated community who is not holding a leafblower or other lawn-care device, call your local police immediately.

#7889 +(288)- [X]

<rabbit|hci> www.crap.com/welcome2lastweek.jpeg  <- fodder :p
<Fodz> welcome to being gay <- rabit
<rabbit|hci> well, a welcome from an established member of a community always means something. :)  Thanks fodder

#8504 +(584)- [X]

<dr_rotcod> my poo was white again. this cannot go on

#11159 +(404)- [X]

<Knighted> korosu: Nah, next month we'll get 9/11-themed Jenga

#11208 +(432)- [X]

<Mr_Evets> I wonder what would happen if I were to eat some Brine Shrimp
<Mr_Evets> I wonder if they'd mix with the semen in my stomach and create a seaciety
<Sabrejack> yes. they would.
<Mr_Evets> Would they build statues of me and worship me?
<Mr_Evets> Then the other half build statues of something else, worship it
<Mr_Evets> and start suicide bombing each other??
<Sabrejack> quite likely.
<Mr_Evets> Excellent
<Mr_Evets> Because I already ate the brine shimp

#12068 +(139)- [X]

<NC> So you're a family full of Meekos?
<NC> That's.. scary.
<Meeko> NC: *nods* Every end in our gene pool is the deep end.
<Meeko> In fact, any less chlorine and we'd all be drowning in our own pee.

#13211 +(401)- [X]

<PJ> Ok
<PJ> let me get this straight...
<PJ> Your pregnant wife shoved speed down your throat during sex?
<Covert22-UNS> Yup pretty much

#13295 +(213)- [X]

<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here

#14232 +(597)- [X]

<sWampy> he should have had anikin walk in on jarjar doing portman, and that be the reason that anikin turned so dark, and jarjar being luke and leia's father would explain a lot about why they were so dippy to have such a strong father.
<clemmy> but why would darthvader tell luke he's his father then?
<sWampy> just to confuse him so he could cut off his hand, plus he's in denial that his wife would cheat on him with jarjar.
<clemmy> I guess luke would be more shocked to find out jarjar is his father
<Harekiet> darth vader still had some good in him so he didn't want luke to know

#15561 +(143)- [X]

*** WD_40 is now known as Memory_Leak
<Memory_Leak> hmm... I could become a faulty breast augmentation and change to Mamory_Leak

#15704 +(108)- [X]

<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you at Verio!

#15754 +(150)- [X]

<demit> oh my confidence in pac bell hosting is SO high.. quote from support
  guy about the pop server disconnecting ONE of 32 users here 'well sir your
  tcip session is your internet connection, it has nothing to do with our
  servers'

#21898 +(1004)- [X]

<alisdair> context, boy.
<sev> and his trusty sidekick: punctuation, man

#33590 +(198)- [X]

<TigerSun> bhahahahahahaha
<TigerSun> article on k5
<TigerSun> "setting a cookie is very simple"
<TigerSun> <INSERT 150 LINES OF C CODE>

#36446 +(-8)- [X]

<WillaCuz> THERES A MIDGET ON MTV
<WillaCuz> noooooooooo
<WillaCuz> i missed it
<WillaCuz> lol
<aNuBiS-> :/
<aNuBiS-> I wanna fuck a dirty midget slut
<aNuBiS-> Then when I go to cum on her face, have her jump up trying to catch it like raindrops from the sky
<Chr[i]s> hahahah

#41213 +(30)- [X]

<JBerg> I once did a project for an asshole I hated. His name was Jack. Project name: JackOff.exe

#41789 +(337)- [X]

* Fireball kicks his computer.. why won't you mount the ipod?
<nica> maybe it's not interested?
<William> :^D
<nica> maybe a bit of wine and some candle light? ;)
<Puppeteer> Fire- Uhm... it's not a Mac?
<nica> KillJoy says, "maybe it's having troubles... viagra?"
<William> Show it porn of Yum, the iMac girl?
<nica> =D
* Fireball grumbles... perverts

#44705 +(52)- [X]

-ChanServ- (#help) >>>READ THIS<<< AUTH INSTRUCTIONS: /msg authserv@services.gamesnet.net auth <handle> <password>
<Hk> Plz... How do I auth with chanserv?

#48297 +(730)- [X]

<Shinji>  I have a riddle: What type of dog doesn't bark?
<Shinvega>  Your mom?
<Tanya>  A hotdog ^_^
<Neopanda>  my penis.
<Shinji>  The one I hit with my car yesterday!

#49891 +(1084)- [X]

(R-66Y) 1280x1024 at 60hz hurts my eyes
(raygun) hmm
(raygun) it Hz your eyes
(raygun) SNORT SNORT

#53487 +(166)- [X]

<JanusLexington> have you guys seen the new MSN commercial?
<JanusLexington> with friend browsing?
<JanusLexington> worst
<JanusLexington> invention
<JanusLexington> EVAR
<Caff> pay $14.95 to browse web with your friends
<JanusLexington> friend porn browsing...
<Caff> it's like "SHARE YOUR PORN PASSWORDS!"
<Caff> "DON'T BE EMBARASSED UR NOT TEH ONLY ONE MASTER BATING~~~~~"

#53817 +(281)- [X]

<Anatole> The PS2 is the *only* choice, if you like those kinds of games.
<SINsApple> Not *really* since the xbox *is* the *one* that has Nascar *Thunder* and Outlaw *Golf*
<SINsApple> I'm mocking your use of asterisks, in *case* you didn't *notice*
<SINsApple> :D
<Anatole> Wow...you sure are *funny* when you're *drunk*, you dirty *bitch*

#58129 +(239)- [X]

* Schroe enjoys the benifits of dial-up
<ZRaven> benifits?
<Schroe> In between page loads, I have time to clean various parts of this eternally dirty house.

#77712 +(302)- [X]

<Burning> it's funny 'cause it's out of context

#80751 +(23)- [X]

<tomje> i once put ice cream in a rubber and wanked it was unreal

#81979 +(338)- [X]

* Squizzle is now known as Love
* Scourge punches Love in the face.
* Love avoids Scourge forever.
<Love> (This is called an "allegory".)
<Love> (Which derives from the Greek for "Scourge will never have a date in his life".)

#97901 +(179)- [X]

<deepspring> well.. my car just passed it's blueslip inspection and I mean just...
<deepspring> the mechanic said that he found plenty of "minor" issues that I would have to fix... luckily he let them slide
<deepspring> minor oil leak from the automatic transmission
<deepspring> bad hatch alignment
<deepspring> one of my driving lights (little halogen addon ones) was buggered
<LrdShaper> bad driver behind wheel
<deepspring> my ignition key can drop out of the ignition while the engine is running
<LrdShaper> right front wheel held on by masking tape
<LrdShaper> but the cathodes and led fans are what made himover look the problems

#106860 +(186)- [X]

<Kazimierz> the fast and the furious was full of homoerotic undertones
<Kazimierz> just you couldn't hear them under the loud music and loud car engines

#137222 +(591)- [X]

< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally

#147020 +(118)- [X]

<Pico> I might have to reinstall Win...I mean, GAYdows
<Killfrenzy> *snrk*
<Steve> Hey! I take offense to that!
<Steve> I have sucked MUCH less cock than Windows has!

#147509 +(409)- [X]

<Trippin^Chick> it wouldnt hurt to talk u know
<Trippin^Chick> i know coz i talk all the time
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
* Trippin^Chick shrugs
<Trippin^Chick> can i lie?
<Hash_Pipe> im a cop you idiot
<Trippin^Chick> cool
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> Hash_Pipe...has any1 ever had the heart to tell u that ur boring?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Trippin^Chick> who was whining?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Hash_Pipe> i hope you leave enough room for my fist because im going to ram it into your stomach
<Trippin^Chick> ur not a very nice person r u Hash?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......

#254361 +(1422)- [X]

<RizBow[RF]> winmx if the song is popular (you can download same song from multiple people simontaneously) , soulseek if its rare
<maddox> I get my mp3s from the store.. it's pretty nice, they already have them burned on CD and they come with cases and booklets.
<RizBow[RF]> maddox: where?

#258609 +(1012)- [X]

<bunnyrape> Unscramble this: tq/iu
* Quits: mnk0 (~mnk0@router.globaladsl.adsl.golden.net) (?)

#283022 +(521)- [X]

<+DEK> i heard oral sex is better than fucking
<%Disarm10> Uh, depends.
<%Disarm10> On what you're in the mood for.
<%Disarm10> 9 times outta 10, a hand job is perfectly fine.
<+DEK> ahh i guess
<+DEK> masturbation works too
<+DEK> it works for me, since my hands are girly and soft
<+DEK> <33
<%Disarm10> >_> I meant getting one, not giving yourself one, but yea =P
<%Disarm10> lol
<+DEK> its fun watching myself in the mirror cuz it looks like a girl is giving me a handjob
<+DEK> but in reality, it is me
<%Disarm10> ...
<+DEK> masturbating
<+DEK> infront of a fucking mirror
* +DEK cries
* You were kicked by Disarm10 (ZOMG)

#295915 +(722)- [X]

<Fiz> i'd rather type than talk to a fucking computer
<Fiz> i feel stupid talking to a computer
<Fiz> talking to the TV is okay, because it talks back

#411155 +(221)- [X]

<Twins> I watched a vesectomy reversal last night
<Fullauto> eeeh
<Fullauto> I hate nose surgery
<Fullauto> it's soooo sick
<Twins> D:
<Twins> Vasectomy = genital surgery D:
* Fullauto runs back to modelling

#596026 +(744)- [X]

<phlick>so apparently there was some tragedy in the neighboorhood involving some people dieing
<phlick>and this ugly chick, nearly in tears, says "words just can't express how many lives those people touched"
<phlick>so of course, taking the literal meaning of that i said "of course words don't. numbers do"
<phlick>and now everyone mourns and hates :)

#638675 +(458)- [X]

[blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they cannot get more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's like Moore's law applied to annoyance
[blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a megaphone built-in. That way, your conversations will be clearly audible to everyone within 500 feet

#645921 +(865)- [X]

SeanM: Go ahead and try it - just back up the database first.
PaulN: I am pretty confident everything will just work.
SeanM: That is the tech equivalent of "hey guys watch this!"

#707257 +(866)- [X]

<__20h_P9_> DOS is the OS of the future.
<__20h_P9_> It doesn't suck. :P
<spaceinvader> __20h_P9_: but it dosent have a decent windowing system
<spaceinvader> and no dos dosent suck, it blows
<spaceinvader> Is there anything that dosent suck or blow?
<__20h_P9_> Feminists

#946687 +(582)- [X]

<h00k> making a twitter bot to watch a timeline of a certain (prominent public figure, politician) and tell him he had [x] amount of characters left when he tweets
<h00k> 'went 2 $place 2 talk about r jobs'
<h00k> Dear @personsname, you had [x] characters remaining and didn't have to shorten it so much. #pleasestop'

#948110 +(2011)- [X]

<Matt> A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar.
<Matt> He orders a beer.

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