#354 +(1600)- [X]
*** Penfold has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
*** Penfold (email@example.com) has joined #keble
<Penfold> Excess flood my arse
<Ganesh> no thanks
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*** CSGpunk (CSGpunk@dialup-188.8.131.52.Dial1.Raleigh1.Level3.net) has joined #winprog
<CSGpunk> anyone live in raleigh, nc and know where i can get drugs
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<PolestaR> nah you can survive short periods
<PolestaR> in space
<PolestaR> but its cold isnt it aswell
<PolestaR> I donno for sure
#4442 +(823)- [X]
<amit> there was a girl in my english class who had a lord of the rings bookmark. she looked at me, then at the bookmark and said "Bilbo's so hot!" and put it in the cleavage between her breasts.
#6622 +(614)- [X]
<ScottO> How was your interview, meta?
<nietmeta> it's on monday
<nietmeta> i gotta wait!
<ScottO> How will it be, then?
<nietmeta> it will be awsome
<ScottO> Congrats, then.
#6727 +(603)- [X]
<k8_fan> I have this nightmare that I die suddenly...and everyone I know starts looking through my browser cache.
* Hogie-One has that same dream!
#7884 +(169)- [X]
<Kamz> ur a freak chika - go pig hunting or something
<cHIKa`> I do pig hunt
<cHIKa`> Your mummas to fast these days
#9041 +(1237)- [X]
<phatmike> i want hard boiled eggs
<phatmike> why is that?
<Dayv> Your body is craving extra fat and protein.
<Dayv> Obviously, you are preparing for mitosis.
#9185 +(688)- [X]
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
#22910 +(28)- [X]
<Ancalag0n> yes i just used residents as a verb
<dragonbyt> i hate fskcing dialup
<Ancalag0n> dialups gay
<Akki> how about "resides on"
<Ancalag0n> u should get aol
<mikephoen> what the hell, did they install irc at the retard house :/
#29549 +(293)- [X]
<@rudesmurf> my mom got me "real brewed" iced tea
<@rudesmurf> it tastes like cold tea
<@pikacheney> iced tea is cold tea...
#32591 +(573)- [X]
<ZWeirdVT> how's life?
<BubFISHi> it's ok for a fiber filled oat square covered in cinnamin, but personally, I prefer Frosted Flakes... why do you ask?
#34512 +(39)- [X]
<helpmemor> which port that ping used?
#35339 +(293)- [X]
<kuruption> OMG I HATE LINUX USERS
<kuruption> this guys gave me a shell on his box
<kuruption> and vi is symlinked to pico!
#36676 +(335)- [X]
<atomicbanana> Realtor came today.
<martha> did you get any on you?
<atomicbanana> no. I had a cumbrella
#43348 +(35)- [X]
<[RUA]WoRm|`gayNINJA`> wtf did u do on a mac
<[RUA]Mibby> look at porn
<[RUA]Mibby> porn is all their is
<[RUA]Mibby> not like there are games
<[RUA]WoRm|`gayNINJA`> and since it was a mac, its only capable of gay porn
#46047 +(505)- [X]
* Mark is away: out to dinner with potential women :D
<Jon-> just need the operation eh?
#56702 +(244)- [X]
<NvA> I threw a chiken nuget at a trafic cops while driving back home
<NvA> he was on his bonet talking on his cell phone
<NvA> fucker has no sence of humor
<NvA> agravating a police officer
<NvA> he had mayo on his hat tho
#61348 +(836)- [X]
<Bruns> I got used to people calling me 'Miss' or 'Maam' on the phone when doing support
<Bruns> then they apologize like crazy after I tell them my name
<Bruns> "Oh, I'm sorry sir. Its just that..."
<Bruns> "...That I sound like a girl. I know. Thanks for reminding me."
#85402 +(225)- [X]
<enid> laz. sounds like you just need to get sex.
<enid> hold on, i'll scan my tits for you.
<^Laz> yeah... theres been a serious lack of that lately for me
<^Laz> lately being the last 20 years
#102354 +(1233)- [X]
<Faight> Reproduction is stupid.
<AndrewLB> You want sex, don't you?
<Faight> I have a 6 year old brother.
<Faight> He's an annoying little bastard, but I love him.
<AndrewLB> That was quite possibly THE most disturbing answer you could give.
#106442 +(32)- [X]
<Simofett> Frosty. There's three way to do it, the right way, the wrong way.. And the Simofett way, which is the wrong way, but Faster.
#107359 +(394)- [X]
||RoGuE||: yesterday, my sister came to me and asked me where were my parents, and she smelled like beer
||RoGuE||: and i said... Minni, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been drinking
||RoGuE||: and then she said... well, by the smell of your breath i can tell you have been sucking cock
[StOrM]: what did you do rogue?
||RoGuE||: i brushed my teeth ¬_¬
#130643 +(360)- [X]
roovis: oh SHEESH
roovis: kde for women.
roovis: is it strong enough for a man but php balanced for a woman?
#131975 +(460)- [X]
<DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
<DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything
#136522 +(448)- [X]
<eViL_oNe> oh goodgod!@
<eViL_oNe> HELP ME
<@lucifer> sorry. not qualified.
#162955 +(205)- [X]
<Vespertine> I dare you to take out your cock... lay it on the keyboard.. starting at "A" and tell us what letter it ends at....
<Kairu_Hakubi> umm ok
<Kairu_Hakubi> i prolly cant get a good erection right now
<Kairu_Hakubi> so youll get a soft reading
<Kairu_Hakubi> just barely goes to h
#219469 +(335)- [X]
<JtotheB> ( o Y o )
<Nazi[Genocide]> I wonder if anyone's ever gotten off to ascii pr0n, like in the 80's
<JtotheB> Way ahead of you.
#242813 +(415)- [X]
<Raymondo> I'm a lot funnier in real life.
<Megatron5000> that doesn't matter here
<Raymondo> I'm just pointing out I don't suck 24/7
<PrzeCM03|04> who cares what's your sucking timetable
#294158 +(1258)- [X]
* kipton is listening to cute gay boy jacking of in his underwear :: 13s
<kipton> the description is misleading
#373286 +(1351)- [X]
KaresMexxDWNxx: last night me and tawny were in a car.
KaresMexxDWNxx: she was in the backseat reading a magazine.
KaresMexxDWNxx: and i was infront trying to get some rest.
KaresMexxDWNxx: A cop comes by and ask me how old I am.
KaresMexxDWNxx: i told him that i was 23.
KaresMexxDWNxx: then he asked me how old tawny was.
KaresMexxDWNxx: i told him that she turns 18 in 11 minutes.
#373797 +(1433)- [X]
<Xenecrite> wanna hear a joke?
<Xenecrite> Women's Rights
<Lone_wolf_gurl> you have 5 seconds to start running.
#403326 +(447)- [X]
<Slave`Shadu|Gone> So, Nall, what kind of porn you looking at...
<XShadow[Gone]> Anal AND Oral?
<XShadow[Gone]> Irish boxing?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone> Wait, Wtf.
#442705 +(70)- [X]
Vince: I just need a lot of vaseline for the next few days
#447149 +(2500)- [X]
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: how do I end up being a therapist for all my old gfs
OMGIMJ4KE: comes with the territory
OMGIMJ4KE: same thing happened with mine
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: not that I mind, I love 'em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: collect 'em, trade 'em, show 'em to your friends
OMGIMJ4KE: gotta catch em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: Wendymon, I choose you! Bipolar attack!
OMGIMJ4KE: "Im happy! Now im sad!"
OMGIMJ4KE: Monster is confused!
#451536 +(859)- [X]
<poit[fsgc> !decide "slack off and lie about the reason" "do the work and have a clean moral slate"
<CrockPot> The roll of the dice picks: slack off and lie about the reason.
<poit[fsgc> Good bot
* poit[fsgc goes to sleep
#482888 +(730)- [X]
<FarkinWorkin> my dog used to freak out whenever I brought home a fresh jar of peanut butter
<pakman> is that because you let him lick it off your penis FarkinWorkin?
<FarkinWorkin> it was a "she" pakman...I'm no fag....
#536798 +(555)- [X]
<NIGHTMARE> I'm black from the waist down.
<n10shun> How do you steal a TV with your feet?
#544722 +(491)- [X]
<%Justin> I've always wanted to ask a girl for a cron job and see what they would say.
<+Steph> probably, WTF
<%Justin> Steph, will you give me a cronjob.
<%Justin> Everynight @ 2
#574759 +(492)- [X]
<ChernoBog> i will ring for no money, and i know how to speak English, Macedonian, Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian and Bulgarian... understand some of russian too....
<Dashiva> and you haven't ethnically cleansed yourself yet?
#638714 +(-109)- [X]
[sg1138_] My father was nicknamed "Dr Cyclops"
[ianmc38] cos he only ever showed u his 1eyed monster?
#659765 +(435)- [X]
<Az_Eating_lunch> We had to carry our IP packets up hill ourselves
<Az_Eating_lunch> I tell ya, when you are carrying your own packets, collisions suck
#676621 +(508)- [X]
<Cob`Onsite> unfortunately when i leave here, i must go to a church with a 90 year old secretary
<Ridgey_wtf> church? what's that?
<ragtop> its similar to a mental hospital, but with less physical restraints
#698246 +(702)- [X]
JA: would you date a christian?
JK: I'd screw the Jesus right out of her
JA: OMG i can't BELIEVE you just said that
JK: Because once you've been in bed with me, you know the truth
JK: there is no God :(
#723906 +(3723)- [X]
<Phyxius> Hmm there are some black people hanging around outside the gates at the end of my driveway, brb
<Courtney> mkay hb
<Phyxius> HOLY SHIT THEYRE GONE
<Courtney> The black people?
<Phyxius> NO, MY GATES
#749227 +(1445)- [X]
<denshuu> I just spent the better part of four fuck hours trying to get on IRC from campus
<denshuu> just to talk to you artards
<whereisJ> What would you do without us?
#875656 +(-1755)- [X]
<Zuuzou> hello everyone
<pronto> hi, im masturbating
<pronto> how are you?
* coldvodka kills a kitten
* pronto eats that kitten
<coldvodka> cat, the other white meat
<pronto> baby, the other other white meat
#887536 +(2942)- [X]
<@baka> anyone here ever eaten sushi off a naked woman?
<Sloshed> no thanks
<@baka> i'm intrigued
<@Sadrak> I'd volunteer to do the dishes
#889637 +(477)- [X]
<GoldyOrNugget> who would bother decompiling windows
<GoldyOrNugget> thats like breaking in to a top secret company to steal a mop
#908573 +(2398)- [X]
<Rainman> god, my head is killing me, must be the maths classes
<Darkduck> you should drink up an aspirine with some vodka and smoke some weed
<Darkduck> that'll definetly take care of it ;)
<Rainman> dude I'm still at school
<Rainman> where the fuck would I get any aspirine ? :o)