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#1193 +(416)- [X]

<|Chris> i want you to setup a word substitution in your head
<|Chris> whenever you see the term "wrestling," i want you to think, "white trash"

#2133 +(432)- [X]

<Kashan> I think we should circumsize horses so they look prettier in the porn videos

#2252 +(262)- [X]

<neekola> i should do that
<neekola> be like
<neekola> yo buy my dirty underwear
<neekola> 40$ a piece
<neekola> use the money to buy more underwear
<neekola> i could be an entrepreneur

#2290 +(698)- [X]

<eldee> finding wiring diagrams on the web isnt fun at all
<eldee> because.. you really dont find any wiring diagrams
<eldee> just porn.. how wiring diagrams and porn can be confused in a search engine, i've yet to discover

#6633 +(434)- [X]

doubting: interesting
doubting: popup ad suggests I use www.blackjack.com to backup my critical data
doubting: strangely, I'm not wont to gamble with my backups

#8324 +(29)- [X]

<Phettachu> cherry coke - letters at the end = herry cok  LOL LOL LOL
<Phettachu> GET IT HERRY COK?!?  HAIRY COCK?!?!
<Phettachu> LOL
<Phettachu> maybe only gays get it

#8511 +(390)- [X]

<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i pray

#11028 +(512)- [X]

<evn|z> Anyone who feels like sending me GTA3?
<Zappha> no
<dkcp> You can download it from www.iamaretard.com/GTA3
<evn|z> Thx...
<evn|z> ...
<evn|z> asshole

#11424 +(46)- [X]

<]CkB[Ireckon> OMG...I found a KrissKross/Britney Spears mix

#15450 +(298)- [X]

<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit

#18887 +(162)- [X]

<Chikster>Does anyone know if I can DL a complete version of photoshop on the net?
<Gary> They have photoshop on Pcs...
<Chikster> God why do newbies all try an help me..

#20431 +(26)- [X]

<Dirty_Society> im talking this gurl into letting me give her a internet Facial

#20446 +(176)- [X]

<freedumb> When i was like 8 my dad tried to teach me to count cards in blackjack
<freedumb> for when im 'of legal age'

#20748 +(643)- [X]

<ShadowMouse> bye
<Coan_Arcanius> bye
<[Bryan]> bye
<cams> bye
<[Bryan]> (damn we sound like a boy band)

#23397 +(814)- [X]

<MuNkEy`> MuNkEy looks better than Munkey
<Munkey> looks worse
<MuNkEy`> no way
<MuNkEy`> urs looks like a babys been at it
<MuNkEy`> with the lowercase
<Munkey> indeed. random guess. FPS player?
<MuNkEy`> counter-strike.

#24280 +(40)- [X]

thedrhino: oh man, i got an email called, chefmaster blowout
thedrhino: it's like, we have way too many chefmasters, PLEASE BUY ONE
thedrhino: they're 18 bucks
thedrhino: they must suck ass
Princess Ryo: yes they must
thedrhino: what if it was rocks, and a bit of wood
thedrhino: you bang the rocks together to make the fire
Princess Ryo: and a long dirty branch
Princess Ryo: to stick the food on and hold it over the fire
thedrhino: with bugs in it
Princess Ryo: and a piece of paper with a guy with a pipe in his mouth anda chef's hat on smiling that says "YOU'VE JUST PURCHASED THE CHEFMASTER!" with step by step instructions

#32491 +(-341)- [X]

<Atrox> So there I was, hunched over Vorgen's dog. The car's grill kind of left this nice opening in it's abdomen, cause really, I wasn't about to fuck a dead dog in the ass, that's just wrong. Anyway, I was thrusting hard, and like hit something hard, I was all WTF, then realized I fucked through the dog and hit the cement. Was wierd.

#39553 +(1244)- [X]

<SirChris> After using Yahoo, google, ask.com, etc.. to no avail, all I need to know is what currency uses as their symbol. I need to convert 189.00 into english dollars.

#46496 +(359)- [X]

<nirosys> whoever decided it'd be a good idea to rar an iso up, then throw it in a tar... then gzip it...
<nirosys> should be shot..

#47032 +(203)- [X]

*** julia_roberts was kicked by neotek (banned: spamming)
<@neotek> who would have thought that a successful actress like julia roberts would stoop to spamming her "phat pic site"

#48808 +(237)- [X]

<Lilmuckers> i called my headmaster dad today =/
<ibor132> hahaha
<ibor132> howd u manage that?
<SonicRageX> heh
<Lilmuckers> he said something and i saidm "yes dad"
<Lilmuckers> in the lesson
<ibor132> rofl
<Lilmuckers> in front of the calss
<ibor132> whatd he do>?
<Lilmuckers> said "i doubt i was that promisuous 16 years ago"
<Lilmuckers> promiscuous
<ibor132> ROFL!!!!
<SonicRageX> dude
<SonicRageX> thats classic
<ibor132> someone bash that

#51418 +(190)- [X]

<NyseriA> i think i should inform you that i am totally naked at the keyboard.....and i just sat on a box of screws :(((((((((((((
<Weebl> is your webcam on nys?

#55872 +(49)- [X]

<[N]> if a chick just comes over gives u head and leaves
<[N]> it just rules
<[N]> for lazy ppl
<[N]> u could even irc while getting the job done
<WTM2K> would that be like road head?
<[N]> hahah
<WTM2K> irc head... geek version of road head

#62373 +(26)- [X]

<nuggs> how do i find out my irc number?

#76857 +(601)- [X]

<Noobe> Look at me. I'm topdeck. I use retarded internet lingo.
<Yawgatog> Noobe: Your nick is NOOBE.
<Noobe> Dude, Noobe is my real life name.
<Yawgatog> lol noobe

#103409 +(237)- [X]

<quacks> u look like that milk girl
<quacks> on the cup
<@dolphie> huh?
<@dolphie> nonsense.. that girls so ugly
<quacks> precisely.

#116604 +(628)- [X]

<weed> wtf is this world turning to?
<@Phucker> America.

#126280 +(355)- [X]

<PA_stoned> for once i wasn't thinking about sex   
<PA_stoned> lookit that, i guess being stoned does not necessarily make me horny!   
<DS_lonely> *gasp* and i bet your not stoned.  
<PA_stoned> yes i am!   
<DS_lonely> WHAT!  
<PA_stoned> why else would i be eating pussy with my finger?   
<PA_stoned> oops!   
<DS_lonely> noice!  
<PA_stoned> i meant puddding

#147509 +(417)- [X]

<Trippin^Chick> it wouldnt hurt to talk u know
<Trippin^Chick> i know coz i talk all the time
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
* Trippin^Chick shrugs
<Trippin^Chick> can i lie?
<Hash_Pipe> im a cop you idiot
<Trippin^Chick> cool
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> Hash_Pipe...has any1 ever had the heart to tell u that ur boring?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Trippin^Chick> who was whining?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Hash_Pipe> i hope you leave enough room for my fist because im going to ram it into your stomach
<Trippin^Chick> ur not a very nice person r u Hash?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......

#159746 +(690)- [X]

<Zeion> mints must be very profitable
<Palmetto> what are you talking about?
<Palmetto> mints are government institutions
<Palmetto> they don't make any money
<Zeion> yes they do

#182125 +(734)- [X]

<joshua_> AaAAAAAAAAAAAAAACC.............................!

#189549 +(467)- [X]

<Kunda> I wanna see a Jerry Springer episode where a Scientologist gets into a scrag with a Raelian when they can't agree which planet humans were sent to earth from

#194258 +(613)- [X]

<Thom`Manson> "The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children."
<Manboy> hahaha
<Manboy> OH YEAH
<Manboy> (sobbing)
<Thom`Manson> hahahaha
<Manboy> OH YEAH!!!
<Thom`Manson> hahaha

#212642 +(255)- [X]

<Drav> where the hell can a well-intended, modest, christian fellow go to get a handjob around here?
<ktrout> look no further than the end of your arm
<CoverSlide> Drav: are you under 12?
<CoverSlide> because you could become catholic

#232020 +(380)- [X]

<b1u3> good...admitting your stupidity is the first step to disguising it as charming immaturity.

#290896 +(1551)- [X]

<Flamebird> i was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon the other night.. and i was wondering where all the tigers and dragons are
<Flamebird> then i realised they're all crouching and hidden
<Flamebird> :/

#350534 +(441)- [X]

Pingu: heh just randomly i said to someone
Pingu: "kate, why are you such a bell end?"
Pingu: just to see what theyd say
Pingu: kate  says: because i was born that way
Bull3h: you've been blocked
Pingu: nah
Pingu: kate's hardcore
Bull3h: does hardcore ?
Pingu: yes
Pingu: i just asked her if im allowed to call her a bell end to her face and she said yes
Pingu: im toying with the idea of asking her if i can slap her in the face with my bell end
Bull3h: clearly she fancies you
Pingu: yeah
Bull3h: but is she hot ?
Pingu: well...
Pingu: she's not not hot
Bull3h: with my few years extra of experiance i'd say that the girls who are fairly hot but not really hot are the best kind
Bull3h: they're not cock sluts who fuck you over and just keep you about because they like the attention
Bull3h: tho you gotta watch out, crazy girls... watch out, they'll do something like split up with you because everythings going to well and they dont want to get hurt
Bull3h: then stalk you and keep suggesting that you get back with them
Pingu: sorry
Pingu: carry on
Bull3h: so basically drug her and rape her.
Pingu: k
Bull3h: roofies
Pingu: best way

#397766 +(502)- [X]

HDF_Red wakes up
<HDF_Red> my mom taste funny ;_;
<HDF_Red> oh man
<Lord-Lard-Arse> OMG :x
<HDF_Red> typo city

#421559 +(82)- [X]

<TorpedoDog> well whats your take on the whole refugee bit then?
<MalcomX> sailings not the fastest way to get places

#428429 +(465)- [X]

[ Parroflex ] I have a badass hangover.
[ @Ashley ] Don't drink so much next time.
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that, Ashley.
[ Parroflex ] Ow.
[ @Ashley ] You're very much welcomed.
[ @David ] Have a few shots to numb the pain
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that entirely unhelpful advice, David.
[ @David ] You won't feel any pain with no head.
[ Parroflex ] Owowow. There is a medieval re-enactment going on inside my head.
[ Parroflex ] Fat geeks with cardboard armour are arguing about what type of swords they'd have had back then.

#440169 +(612)- [X]

<baloo>lispy: I have this horrible addiction to food. I try to quit, but I just get wracked with pain after a day or two every time and just have to have a cheeseburger.
<baloo>They only told me the positive effects of food. Nobody ever told me food would be hard to quit.
<malfunct`>their highly addictive products which are advertised as safe got me hooked and ruined my teeth and put me at high risk for heart disease and diabetes
<malfunct`>and from what I hear, mcdonalds is ruining my liver
<baloo>Not to mention high cholestorol
<lispy>baloo: i find myself horribly addicted to O_2...i can't go five minutes without it...i get shakey and light headed...i'll fight someone that won't let me get my O_2 fix
<malfunct`>ok bal, I don't buy that pepsi gave me high colesterol
<baloo>lispy: I know what you mean. I get the same way about water after a couple hours on a hot day.
<malfunct`>lispy: yeah, the 02 addiction is nearly as bad as my dihydrogen monoxide addiction
<malfunct`>and you know how many bad things dihydrogen monoxide can do
<baloo>malfunct`: Yeah. I mean, holy hell, you mix dhydrogen monoxide and dioxygen long enough undisturbed on the hood of your car and it'll eat right through it. Might take a few years, but it'll do it.
<malfunct`>baloo: yeah, and how many natural disasters can be traced back to the dihydrogen monoxide as a source
<lispy>baloo: it only takes a couple ounces of that stuff to kill a baby in a matter of minutes if you leave their face in it
<baloo>malfunct`: No kidding. You breathe even a little of that and it'll hurt like hell for days.

#514344 +(400)- [X]

<GooberMan> sony were handing out PS2 condoms
<GooberMan> the cover design had condoms in the shapes of the buttons ie X, square, etc
<darknation> awesome
<darknation> I always wondered about those vibrating controllers. Now we know.

#536971 +(730)- [X]

<Jess> When I asked my Gyno if he could make it feel good,
<Jess> he looked at me in a really weird way and moved his hand back out.

#568344 +(415)- [X]

<Brian> I'll drink to that.
<Huitzil> You'll drink to changing the batteries in your smoke detector!
<Huitzil> Which is quite important, don't get me wrong, but not really a drinkable occurance.
<Brian> Hey!  I don't have a drinking problem!
<Brian> If anything, I'm TOO good at it. <_<

#596241 +(1488)- [X]

<Yaksha> I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas.
<Yaksha> He said he wanted cold hard cash.
<Yaksha> So that's exactly what I gave him.
<Yaksha> I got 20 $1 bills, soaked them in water and put them in the freezer.
<Yaksha> When he got it, it was just a block of green ice that took a day to thaw.

#638242 +(222)- [X]

<Hawk|School> i wish emo kids bled money, atleast then their suicide would be worth something

#744007 +(685)- [X]

<Chains> fuck that AM/PM shit, i'm european, i can have 13:37 every day!

#774024 +(326)- [X]

[vvandering_nomad] I took some of that fake blood one night, and made it look like my eye was gushing blood. I walked up to the front office of the complex where this poor cute little asian gal was working.
[vvandering_nomad] I walked up to her and said "Is Student Health Services open?"
[Lehsa] ROFL
[vvandering_nomad] I scored some free wet-naps!
[Ku'vah] LOL
[Lehsa] you are so mean Nomie
[Ku'vah] I need to get some fake blood
[vvandering_nomad] She almost called an ambulance, until I convinced her that I was "getting some pills for it." and that it "Happens every winter."
[Lehsa] LOL
[Lehsa] rofl
[Ku'vah] LOL
[lvlarein] Haha

#827929 +(1771)- [X]

Seppukakke: You know, in the Old Testament, God was full of Wroth and Vengeance. You did bad stuff, he rained brimstone down on your ungrateful ass or harrassed your people with 7 plagues.
Seppukakke: In the New Testament, its like he has turned over a new leaf, you don't hear some much of the nasty things he did to his people (because if you believe in it, everyone on earth is his creation)
Seppukakke: You know what happened around the time between the New Testament and the Old Testament?
Seppukakke: He got laid.

#862002 +(1190)- [X]

JBdarnet: I've been told I'm not a bad looking guy here, which is a red-light to hear from someone else in the Navy.

0.0640 21065 quotes approved; 824 quotes pending
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