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#281 +(394)- [X]

*** Joins: root (kode54@excellent.I.found.yourdads.cc)

#689 +(361)- [X]

<aard> i have a dentist appointment tomorrow
<aard> for these cavities
<joeN> aard is going to get his cavities filled :)
<Number-6> bend over; I'll fill your cavity

#1235 +(384)- [X]

<MadHatter> omg how do I turn mirc timers off
~~~ (signoff) MadHatter ;Excess Flood

#1547 +(2596)- [X]

<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?

#1622 +(405)- [X]

<YehhNO> how i download irc?

#2014 +(564)- [X]

<BonGoaT> i think Bush played counterstrike too much

#2175 +(500)- [X]

<boozie> during my nap i farted underneath the blanket and i almost killld myself

#3410 +(808)- [X]

<ben> on sep 11th dalnet issued a statement offering condolences and saying how they were non-politicial
<ben> and you almost believe them until you see it was issued by Melech which is the hebrew word for king
<ben> i.e. israeli contacts, etc
<ben> NON POLITICAL MY ARSEY
<grifferz> wow, and like, the way bahamut is the name of a dragon, maybe all these names have real meaning and dalnet staff are really hyperdiemnsional dragon warriors from the planet Oper!!
<grifferz> fucking scary eh
<ben> yes
<grifferz> or, they could be just nicknames.  I DO NOT KNOW

#3591 +(299)- [X]

<Slant> ....
<FutabaAoi> i see your ... and raise you ..
<FutabaAoi> !
<Slant> four baby.
* Slant shoots FutabaAoi for cheating at the '.' table.

#4754 +(52)- [X]

<`tate`> you ever see palm's api, my god, its like they said "you know what, apple's api is good(ie we're insane), lets copy it"

#6367 +(430)- [X]

<Dobbs> I went out on a date once with a women who said that, whatever the society was, it could not function unless women were the "gatekeepers of sex"...
<Dobbs> ...so I said, "Well, not if women were private property."
<Dobbs> That shut her up.

#7997 +(141)- [X]

<@mewse> man i had this new jacket for like 3 days before i got puke on it
<@mewse> that must be some sort of record

#11422 +(545)- [X]

<hobophobic> cant be fucked going to the toilet
<hobophobic> i reckon i'll piss out the window
<hobophobic> brb - pissing out my window
<Mr_J_Beam_1981> lol
<hobophobic> brb - pissed on my window
<Syncope> Yeah you gotta open it first
<hobophobic> :(

#11473 +(247)- [X]

<largo`> my client thought an swf extension stood for "single white female"

#14569 +(226)- [X]

<Baby_Gurl16> Does any one here have a thousand dollars i could borrow to bail my boyfriend out of jail with if so please msg me

#15712 +(96)- [X]

<PetrDoubt> "Blackout for 00Q1 begins on 04/07, so there should be plenty of
  time for the options to be credited to your account before then."
<PetrDoubt> Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 16:29:31 -0700
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, Verio!

#16657 +(396)- [X]

<@drew> saceist is a kind of person who always has that dumb look on his face.
<@saceist> huh?

#16744 +(50)- [X]

<Joelz> im gonna savet hgis log so I can prove im drunk

#22668 +(773)- [X]

<Taganath> Mary had a little lamb.  It bumped into a pylon.  Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon!

#28701 +(28)- [X]

<Damocles> one of my classmate from HS apparently got a boob job.
<ogre173> cool
<ogre173> is it done good?
<Wetzel_116> heh
<Jim258> lol
<Damocles> dunno.
<Damocles> she works at the video store by my house.
<Damocles> I should go take a look.
<Jim258> or two...

#36557 +(213)- [X]

<ljlane> I need to do a non-greedy scan on a few gigs of data for a pattern containing hex and some text. Ideas?
<RichiH> ljlane: suicide?

#36784 +(101)- [X]

<bleepstreet> i have 2 dvd drives showing up in my computer but i only have 1
<bleepstreet> how do i delete one of them?
<NE|Strand`WAGr> maybe it had babys?
<bleepstreet> then how do i abort teh baby?
<eyesore> coat hanger and draino

#37988 +(555)- [X]

*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@66.0.92.223) has joined #photography
<BlackNet21> anyone here wanna help me with a photo?
<pd_corax> A what?
<danno> wtf is a photo
*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@66.0.92.223) has left #photography
<danno> sheesh, it takes all kinds...

#45104 +(804)- [X]

<The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
<Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
<Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
<Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"

#48197 +(423)- [X]

(Rjx)[+] #1 cool thing about IRC
(Rjx)[+] no-one knows if you're naked

#49586 +(45)- [X]

<@Vexer`> I just got a new pen, it says "IPMORTANT: WHEN TRAVELING ON A PLANE, UNCAP THE PEN WITH THE TIP FACING UPWARD TO REDUCE ANY RISK OF INK LEAKAGE

#49776 +(517)- [X]

<wahitu> Ok, then. Great time here. Cu all!
<Josher> later
<wahitu> hmm. one last question. How do I log off?
<Josher> X top right
<wahitu> thanks. Bye

#50209 +(164)- [X]

* FerdKat carries Limey to bed
<LimeyKat> night!
<FerdKat> night all
* LimeyKat has left #FPFC_Chat
* FerdKat has left #fpfc_chat
* `Glenn gets the idea there is a chatroom called "#bed" with 2 OPs in it right now ^^;

#50809 +(342)- [X]

#natfans on GamesNET, 01 December 2002

<dzee> want to try again sara
<sara_sig> no
<sara_sig> gay thing
<sara_sig> too pissed off with it
<dzee> why does it crash?
<sara_sig> .
<sara_sig> ^ see that?
<sara_sig> That is a concentrated ball of rage
<sara_sig> Refined hatred poured into one small dot
<sara_sig> "why does it crash" is possibly the only question that can merit an outpouring like that
<sara_sig> I simply cannot even be sarcastic about it
<sara_sig> It goes way beyond that

#53299 +(212)- [X]

<hobbs> SetiAtHome -- turn your laptop into a space heater. :)

#55514 +(168)- [X]

<bbraun> do you think that when thoreau urged us to simplify our lives, he meant going to serial terminals?

#75583 +(349)- [X]

<EvILEyE|ESC> OWWW
<EvILEyE|ESC> I just put a deep gash in my toe
<Bean_Bandit> Good job!
* Bean_Bandit gives EvILEyE|ESC 10 points.
<Goku_D_Luffy> use ur evil powers to heal it
<EvILEyE|ESC> I put rubbing alchohol on it
<Bean_Bandit> Try saltwater next time.
<Kuno> try vinigar
<Swaydude|Naptime> iodine hurts more
<Kuno> ketchup
<Bean_Bandit> WASABI

#79051 +(670)- [X]

<Symantec> HAHAH
<Symantec> my dogs are humping each other, and they are both girls
<Symantec> I should video tape it and put it on Kazaa as "Hot Lesbian Sex"
<LuKe> ROFL
<LuKe> you sick sick fuck
<Extorted-> shut up Luke, you know we'll all be looking for that clip in a few days.

#87725 +(627)- [X]

<burn_prom_girl> our frigde is outside because we got our kitchen tiled
<burn_prom_girl> and its in a puddle of water
<burn_prom_girl> thats bad right ?
<burn_prom_girl> and i shouldnt step in the water around the frigde ?
<burn_prom_girl> its plugged in
<ikari> water doesnt conduct electricity
<ikari> it's an urban myth
<ikari> go dance in the puddle

#98432 +(1147)- [X]

<WrmSlayer> The AI in the matrix got it all wrong
<WrmSlayer> they should have just used cows instead of humans
<WrmSlayer> no chance of rebelion
<Reverend> yeah
<Reverend> stupid AI
<WrmSlayer> and the mootrix would have just been a big sunny infinite field of grass

#100203 +(336)- [X]

<devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
<devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
<devilc0ck> guess who'z got the ninja rap..
<fingers> guess who's all alone in thinking how kewl that is

#105744 +(170)- [X]

<CausticGnome> so, i was in the garage, smoking, when I saw the book the jehovas witnesses gave me about the end of the world
<CausticGnome> entitled: "Revelation Its Grand Climax At Hand!"

#182213 +(2692)- [X]

<Ephialtes> ugh
<Ephialtes> I.
<Ephialtes> Am.
<Ephialtes> Wet.
<Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet
<Ephialtes> I am soaked
<Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked
<Ephialtes> I am drenched
<Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that
*** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood)

#215254 +(623)- [X]

<xtal> Uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh?
<Mazca> stop masturbating quizzically.

#239102 +(1760)- [X]

sdrawkcab yekim: tomorrow i'm going to drink 10 gallons of water
revmoo: why
sdrawkcab yekim: i wanna see how long i can pee for one time
revmoo1: that's it, I'm done with the Internet

#294724 +(381)- [X]

<Tigwa> how funny would it be if you got held-up by a tshirt ninja
<Tigwa> 'can you describe the man?' 'errr....well he looked like he had a ninja hood made from a tshirt, was very pale and thin, and kept yelling i will haxx0r j00'

#377606 +(1800)- [X]

<Mild> a choose your own adventure hamlet would be nice too
<Mild> To be, turn to page 73.

#422753 +(863)- [X]

<demios>Nothing is quite so disturbing as looking under your parents' bed and finding a box labelled "extra-stretchy cock ring"

#431907 +(908)- [X]

<h0ward> it began with the forging of the great servers
<h0ward> three were given to the geeks, immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings
<h0ward> seven to teh jock-lords, great football players and craftsmen of the locker halls
<h0ward> and nine, nine servers were given to the race of men whom above all else desired PRON
<h0ward> within the servers was a power that could govern each class
<h0ward> but they were all of them deceived
<h0ward> for another server was made
<h0ward> stile, the deceiver, forged in secret a master server to control all others
<h0ward> one server to rule them all
<h0ward> one by one the people of the servers fell to the great power of the master server
<h0ward> but there were some
<h0ward> who resisted
<h0ward> a great alliance of geeks and jocks marched against the fanboys of stile
<h0ward> and on the slopes of blogwars
<h0ward> they fought for the freedom of good, and only good pron
<h0ward> AAAHHH
<h0ward> FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP
<h0ward> victory was near
<h0ward> but the master server could not be stopped
<h0ward> the dark lord stile killed brunot son of brunob
<h0ward> and as luck should so have it
<h0ward> brunob cut the wiring of the master server
<h0ward> stile the enemy of good, decent pron of the earth
<h0ward> was wanked out of existence

#485105 +(762)- [X]

Wolfe177: Me: "so when are we going to use this stuff in real life", math teacher: "when u become a math teacher"

#597870 +(1199)- [X]

<Blowjob-Queen> Is she still internet dating him?
<Fizzly> They were in the middle of a "harsh break up" last I remember.
<Fizzly> Text was flying so fast.
<Fizzly> Emoticons ran wild.

#603907 +(1628)- [X]

<kikuichimonji> The cook book said to clean the turkey
<kikuichimonji> the oven had a clean button

#604958 +(-187)- [X]

(+fraseyboy) i got thermal grease on my finger. does this mean its going to melt? O_o!!!
(+chronomaster5042) no, it meand you cant melt, go ahead, touch something hot
(+fraseyboy) wow cool
(+fraseyboy) does it work the same way for cold stuff?
(+chronomaster5042) no
(+chronomaster5042) it THERMAL greese
(+chronomaster5042) not COLD greese
(+fraseyboy) il put my finger in the fridge just to try it out...

#608068 +(2815)- [X]

<asiftosay> my friend kolby decided to play a joke on his mom, so he went into her room at night when she was sleeping. he wore a ski mask and had a fake gun.
<banquet> omg
<asiftosay> and he starts yelling shit with the fake gun drawn, and she wakes up all scared and stuff...so she goes "don't kill me. i'll fuck you all you want if you let me live."
<asiftosay> they avoided each other for days.

#678715 +(1787)- [X]

Ben174: fuckin paypal.. they need new databases or something.. seems like every other day i get an email and have to go update my account information.

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