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#484 +(996)- [X]

"A lot of people wonder how you know you're in love. Just ask yourself this
one question: "Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?"
   - Ronnie Shakes

#765 +(1094)- [X]

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
                -- Wernher von Braun

#3280 +(192)- [X]

<Evasion> they say astroglide doesn't get sticky for hours, thats bs, it gets sticky in 5-10 minutes
<aNuBiS-> Evasion: you arent supposed to mix it with feces

#4792 +(409)- [X]

[Synoptica] no, he's not lagged. he's just stupid.

#5520 +(176)- [X]

<Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists appointment :(
<automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?

#7292 +(225)- [X]

<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away :)

#8576 +(583)- [X]

<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again...

#12500 +(206)- [X]

<mrs> ontariom the phone is for you
<sully> OntarioM is ~Ontario@CPE************.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com * Toronto Man
<sully> OntarioM on #toronto #phonesex #masturbation
<sully> Coincidence?

#13063 +(325)- [X]

<hawker> just grab a gun then...
<hawker> end ur misery...
<TomServo> shooting my boss?
<TomServo> good idea

#13198 +(217)- [X]

[01:05] <Hiyaz> I have my Windows 95 dick from my old Desk top
[01:05] <Elysian`> hmm
[01:05] <Elysian`> win95 dick
[01:05] <magtec> some may call me desperate, but i really don't think i'd want one of those.
[01:07] <MrSparkle> magtec:  you never know what kinda virus you could get from a Win95 d....
[01:07] <Elysian`> a STD
[01:07] <Elysian`> Setup Transmitted Disease

#14925 +(600)- [X]

<SS|Away|Dreaming|> RUSSIAN ROULETTE - Take your chances.  2:1 odds. Type @pull to see if you win or lose - If you loose you get kicked.
<SPiN|> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<SPiN|> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
Quits: SS|Away|Dreaming| (SierraSoni@AC829966.ipt.aol.com) (Excess Flood)

#17168 +(364)- [X]

<Fishfood> HAHAH

#17218 +(-146)- [X]

<SoulEdge> You are a fucker!!! A nasty fucked damn sucked, lesbian gay transsexual pedophile dighead!!! AND U ARE NOT GOING TO KICK OR BAN ME OUT!!! I'M LEAVING MY SELF!!! GET A LIFE!!! GET A NICE ATTITUDE!!! FUCK U!!! MAKE FRIENDS, IF U CAN, SILLY LITTLE NERD!!! d:-(

#18845 +(203)- [X]

<ToXiC> i bet in < 2 years, when someone get's pulled over by the police, they will hear "Can I please have your MSN Passport"

#20259 +(410)- [X]

<marcus> what is this "work" thing you've gotten yourself involved with?
<marcus> sounds like some sort of cult or something
<marcus> seemsm you are spending all of your time there lately
<marcus> how does your family feel about your involvement with it?

#20505 +(321)- [X]

<frink> A properly configured microsoft firewall will stop 100% of hackers.

#23298 +(149)- [X]

<Kethry> Leida, you're more than a trend now
<Leida> what am i now? what can there possibly be above a trend?
<Sensai-Sakiya> god? immortal? person worshiped by all?
<Leida> you are all worshipping me?
<Ibaimendi> I never realized the line between abuse and worship was so thin.

#24753 +(187)- [X]

<Misfortune_Cookie> I went to CostCo today
<Misfortune_Cookie> and you shoulda seen the look I got when I tried to hitch a ride on the forklift

#24755 +(920)- [X]

<Foberts> Dude, you're an op on IRC.
<Foberts> You're a geek.
<tnoy> not really, i just gave the channel owner nude photos of my sister
<Foberts> Wow.
<Foberts> Why do you have nude photos of your sister?

#24790 +(189)- [X]

<mike> haha
<mike> you should add something to the "add quote" page
<mike> something like "remember, your quote may or may not be approved because THE QUOTE DATABASE IS MODERATED BY HUMANS."
<RainWind> lol
<mike> i was serious
<Guilty> You should see how many people email me asking why I didnt approve their awful quotes
<Guilty> Like "HEY I submitted a 14 page long chat log and I dont see it added yet!"
<Guilty> Or "Whats the deal I submitted myself mentioning that I wanted to be in the QDB, and its not on there!"

#35939 +(129)- [X]

<Bubbs-> arg, too... much, garlic bread... breast, stinks
<Bubbs-> er...breath

#42453 +(725)- [X]

<aurikan> i got a pre-broken AOL cd in the mail today
<aurikan> how considerate of them
<aurikan> they saved me the trouble of breaking it

#54356 +(9)- [X]

<Comarcracy> anyone know a good game for pc that is similar to gta?
<ircbuddy> GTA2
<ircbuddy> (You must have seen that coming...)
<Comarcracy> kinda, i didnt think anyone would say that since i was refering to all gta games...but expect the unexpected
<ircbuddy> Fair enough.

#57753 +(225)- [X]

< peter> alanis morrisette is a prime example of why horses shouldn't be allowed to sing.

#71853 +(290)- [X]

<ZiR0> damn
<ZiR0> whenever i clean my glasses, my monitor becomes dirty as hell

#83510 +(561)- [X]

<corey|sleepin> bush is on tv
<static> wut he sayin corey?
<corey|sleepin> 'all yer oil are belong to us'

#85565 +(291)- [X]

<revision> in biochem class today, and our teacher, has the hugest fastest ass ever, massive fat ass right.
<revision> so hes writing on the board, and moving as he goes, when all of a sudden *WHACK*. he turned around too fast and his FAT ass hit the corner of his desk reall really hard.
<revision> lol drops to the ground for like 30 seconds while clutching his rump, then gets up and runs out, blubbering all the way.
<revision> i have never laughed so hard at someone elses expense.

#89019 +(491)- [X]

Anatole: I like when my dog thinks I'm going to get up, so he gets up to follow me, then I don't and he looks at me then goes for a walk like he was going to walk anyway. He thinks he's people.
Melthar: He thinks he's 'people'? He has a split personality?
Anatole: Yeah, like last night he's going on about how he'll teach me to use the force, then today he's all "We can conquer China by next week".
Furr: Your dog said this?
Anatole: It's fucked up having a dog with an MPD man.

#102160 +(301)- [X]

< Hippo> i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine

#105337 +(423)- [X]

<MpTaNk> today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"

#111854 +(-13)- [X]

CTCP VERSION reply from Khaled: eggdrop v1.6.15

#135115 +(691)- [X]

(Scorpion): hi
(Scorpion): do you spek englısh
(Scorpion): do you spek turkish
(Scorpion): admın
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Zaphod): You want to buy the channel #zurna?
(Scorpion): okey
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): Sorry, i dont quite understand you
(Zaphod): You want to pay money for the channel?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): what good is ?
(Zaphod): that doesnt make any sense
(Scorpion): how much
(Zaphod): How much will you pay, what is fair you think ?
(Scorpion): do you speek turkihs
(Zaphod): no
(Scorpion): hıms
(Scorpion): sop to add
(Scorpion): alo
(Zaphod): Hi
(Zaphod): how much will you pay?
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): make it $30 and you have a deal
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): No deal
(Scorpion): 15$
(Scorpion): ?
(Zaphod): $30 is the price
(Zaphod): that is a good channel
(Scorpion): 20$ ?
(Zaphod): ok, ok, its your lucky day, im feeling in a good

mood and i just got a new shipment of channels in, £20 is fine
(Scorpion): end money
(Zaphod): How will you pay
(Scorpion): give me check number
(Zaphod): lol
(Zaphod): im joking with you
(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
[(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): £20
(Scorpion): okey
(Zaphod): No sale
[(Zaphod): Not selling
[(Scorpion): why ?
[(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
(Scorpion): oky.
(Scorpion): insistenly canal
(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): insistently canal to want?
(Scorpion): pls
(Scorpion): alo
(Scorpion): to speak
(Scorpion): plssss. :(

#164446 +(366)- [X]

<organicintelligencebody> they probably have practice at it
<organicintelligencebody> like those telemarketers that have answers for anything you can possibly say
<justin> they do not
<justin> tell them you don't have a phone

#187136 +(749)- [X]

* Eudoxus has joined #math
<Eudoxus> Can anyone help me write 1/(x^2-3x+2) as a power series in x and find its radius of convergence?
<vrover> No
<vrover> But we can give you a lollipop
<vrover> Have a lollipop?

#205824 +(573)- [X]

•Berrik• I swear I hate German
•Berrik• You take some 3-letter word in English
•Berrik• and in German it's "Schtuffwaftefloswhosit"

#218036 +(578)- [X]

* FL|Oz has joined #gamesnet
<FL|Oz> i am not banned anymore
* [29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa has joined #gamesnet
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> YAY
<FL|Oz> were u banned too?
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> no i forgot how to use mIRC

#231033 +(221)- [X]

[hehohno] I really swear rev is a music columnist.
[hehohno] You have that bitter, "radiohead is ok, if you like rehashed pink floyd tracks" feel about you.

#244602 +(1075)- [X]

<Timelord> My beard has blonde hairs.
<Timelord> And red.
<Timelord> And brown.
<Timelord> And black.
<Timelord> And white.
<Timelord> And a couple of other shades of those.
<asshat> stop going down on carebears

#308197 +(369)- [X]

(%b0x) there used to be this song by Genesis that said "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm right."
(%b0x) apparently though, i used to go around singing "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm white!" when I was 5 rofl

#374953 +(420)- [X]

Pikeman: I wonder if sex in heaven is considered necrophilia.
    Pikeman: Or hell.
*** Jam (Jam@ has joined #ev3
    Pikeman: Jam, wanna test my theory?
        Jam: sure
      forge: Heh.
        Jam: do i have to get naked?
      forge: In a way...

#417107 +(3060)- [X]

<PacerX> i made a kid stop crying today
<bemyfreak> awww, how sweet
<PacerX> i knocked him unconcious
<bemyfreak> WHAT

#429582 +(809)- [X]

<Ale> they are closing down both streets that access my house (I live on a city street conrer)
<Apaul> You live on a street corner?
<Apaul> Work there too? :)
<Ale> Yes, I do
<Ale> shit

#514109 +(2432)- [X]

<RobbiePaul> i really wish the redneck neighbors that moved in next door would feed their children anti-freeze
<Nichole> slip it into some popcicles and serve
<RobbiePaul> "anti" freeze...

#525439 +(872)- [X]

<Darth_Blade> Wow.
<Darth_Blade> Word crashes whenever I try to quote the constitution article about human rights. Conspiracy theories anyone? %)
<aetherspoon> heh
<Darth_Blade> But it's really really weird.
<aetherspoon> try openoffice.  It only crashes when you quote Microsoft License Agreements.  :P

#526775 +(1054)- [X]

<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor
<Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT

#604861 +(2454)- [X]

Geekie: This chick was yelling at me when I was eating chicken nuggets at mcdonalds today.
Geekie: and this guy behind me goes 'Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to eat my puppy-burger.
Ashleh: What did she do?
Geekie: she stfu. and cried.

#654066 +(287)- [X]

<Dann> this is so sad...
<Dann> i want to find the "super mario bros movie" on limewire, just for old times' sake... but guess what my first search result is?
<Dann> the 40 year old virgin

#756664 +(-3)- [X]

walshy117: im afraid of the internet pr0n
walshy117: its like
walshy117: i was playing around the stove
walshy117: and i got burned
walshy117: now i dont fucking go in the kitchen anymore
walshy117: not saying i was literally beating off in the kitchen of course

#813756 +(371)- [X]

<M1k3> hey, the girlscouts would need some parent to look after them, are you in?
<Bo13> wait 1 quick question, does this increase my chanses to get laid??
<M1k3> but they are like 12 years old!!!
<Bo13> so that's yes?

#961099 +(342)- [X]

<Nichole> my sister is giving birth on thursday. Drug baby. Apparently CPS is going to contact me to take him.
<Azalea> Ahhhhhhhh
<keith> what kind of drugs?
<keith> a baby full of drugs could be worth something
<Nichole> heroin, Oxy, meth
<Nichole> mostly heroin
<keith> expensive baby!
<blaxthos> so... your sister will be free this weekend?
<Nichole> yep have at it
<assfetish> i got this mental image of a baby shaped pinata full of drugs being broken at some wall street party
<Nichole> she's in prison
<Nichole> she makes me feel very normal
<latras> you are very normal ;)
<keith> shes still getting heroin, oxy and meth in prison?
<blaxthos> is she imprisoned because of baby ?
<keith> yeah id say your pretty normal
<Nichole> keith: she's on methadone now
<blaxthos> i think having babies should be a crime
<keith> procreating is definitely a crime
<Nichole> she's imprisoned because she broke parole, child endangerment (from first daughter), and drug related charges, and being on the run
<Azalea> That is a shitty situation
<assfetish> are you gonna take the baby?
<Nichole> i dont know
<keith> azalea needs another kid i hear
<assfetish> i have a friend who wants a kid real bad
<blaxthos> if you are on irc and you can't figure out how to unload a kid, you're doing it wrong

0.0560 21038 quotes approved; 104 quotes pending
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