QDB: 50 Random Quotes

<AlmtyBob> I can stick my lele in cd holes

<SuckIt699> ENGLISH people u r in america

(PhAmInE) Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.

<Amanda`> I'm not taking a shower today.
<Amanda`> bastards in class won't know what hit them.
<Guilty> At least take a dip in the swimmin' hole

#1870 +(309)- [X]

<timmo> id like to make a movie with just different ways of [John Travolta] dying

#2180 +(379)- [X]

(`KGB) I'm going to #jamaica I've always wanted to visit

#3221 +(508)- [X]

<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi "carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore: oh.. I forgot to add airline

#4235 +(-2)- [X]

<prence> when i used that tube sock yesterday
<prence> i didnt know i had used it before
<prence> and i cut my penis with the dried up cum

#5614 +(307)- [X]

<quatoria> you shat on your daughter? disgusting pervert.
<Plaid> No, you freak. I puked on her.

#5665 +(266)- [X]

<Spooky> CUNT
<Spooky> Variation on the game fuck (qv), where you have to say "cunt" and get louder and louder.
<Spooky> Use "fatty" near to fat people for a softer version
<Spooky> as it's not really offensive except to the fat person, and fat people can't really punch you because their fingers are like cushions.

#6914 +(-2)- [X]

<pvx> alright, ive come up with a good description.. it looks like snot that was soaked in cum, rolled around in encheladas, and put in a freezer for an hour.

#7513 +(206)- [X]

<eth0_tulip> once, i stabbed a guy in LA, for not closing both eyes at the same time when he blinked

#7556 +(104)- [X]

<mosey> for some reason porn never shows up in my "my recent documents" quick launch
<mosey> i hate having to wait for explorer to come up

#8812 +(272)- [X]

<+Sheri> *gasp* I neverrrrrr
<@LabMonkey> the fuck you didn't, I videotaped that shit

#15690 +(153)- [X]

<@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
<@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in the form of a rap
<@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
<@arfbot> while you rapped
<@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo

#25031 +(350)- [X]

<Axlar`cleaning> shhhhh
<pizza> i didnt make a sound... you ever hear a pizza make a sound?
<Wey> crunch?
<Goatman> i heard a pizza scream once
<Goatman> but maybe that was the kid i baked in it

#27478 +(-2)- [X]

<sdlkfj> ahnyone know what dedicated hosting does? like can I run ICQ in there ?

#33357 +(87)- [X]

< Begbie> I wonder if I pester the Real Doll company long enough, if they'll produce a midget Real Doll?

#33939 +(465)- [X]

<Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
<Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half of a black man if you know what I'm saying
<Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while the bottom half does nothing?

#37353 +(191)- [X]

<[ESF]Pcjoe2> who the fuck is using my name?
<[ESF]Pcjoe2> wait..
<[ESF]Pcjoe2> im using my own name >.<
* [ESF]Pcjoe2 has quit IRC
<[ESF]Pcjoe> hehe:-)

#37967 +(50)- [X]

<Sean> haha you don't like the finns
<Skywalker> i have the finns
<ed|work> in a small box?
<Skywalker> hate*

#38872 +(215)- [X]

* Andrew has quit IRC (Quit: In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom.)
<Mank> Andrew's quit makes me want to duct tape him to a tree and rip his eyes out.
<Coco13> But then he wouldn't have his FREEDOM

#39999 +(776)- [X]

< uidzero> This dewd wanted me to host his site for him one time. So I checked things out and "whois"ed his domain and etc. I wanted to make sure he was legit. So I called the number and he mom and answered. "Can I talk to so-and-so? She replied, "You sound to old to be calling my son.", "Well ma`am, your son wants me to host his site, so I was calling to make sure it was.." <pause> <pause> "hold on..." (In the back ground I heard her yelling at him for being on the computer after 8 and he started crying.) <click>.. Next day, I get /msg "Thanks a f**king lot, she took the computer and found all of my videos, I'm grounded forever.... "Quits:".

#41557 +(41)- [X]

<tr0n> Gulp 'N Blow
<SteamedHams> i usually blow before i gulp

#62145 +(200)- [X]

[ @Treach ] can you hump in the sims online
[ @qoncept ] Treach, i think so but i dont know how. figures.
[ @TribalJedi ] you need the love bed i think
[ @qoncept ] thats stupid why cant you just do it out by the dumpster like in real life

#66405 +(118)- [X]

<NYCchica4EvA> cristal? like the champagne?
<sKratch> no like the meth

#74071 +(614)- [X]

<Hostility[B-A]> new reality show
<Hostility[B-A]> 1 man
<Hostility[B-A]> 25 women
<c0ldfyr3`HW> haha
<Exor[B-AFK]> hottub? :D
<c0ldfyr3`HW> 5 hottubs
<Hostility[B-A]> 15 dream dates
<Hostility[B-A]> in the end they find out he has aids
<Hostility[B-A]> yes
<Hostility[B-A]> Joe Aids
<Exor[B-AFK]> roflmao

#75153 +(94)- [X]

<Amish_FoeTwinny> my ex gf wanted to make an amateur porn site, and she wanted crack to do it..so thats how we really met i guess

#80021 +(227)- [X]

#80426 +(103)- [X]

<Deim0s|1980> Argghh. You don't wanna know what I just did. And for the sake of my reputation, I ain't gonna tell ya. Ever.

#98112 +(101)- [X]

ritilan: and in 2 years u can have your first drink
Halo: Yeah, I cant wait!
Halo: Because I've never had any alcohol before, honest.
ritilan: i belive u
Halo: Then you are gullible
ritilan: yes well there is that too
Halo: Because let me tell ya, I'm a pretty raging alcoholic
ritilan: i find it helps to keep the voices in my head quite
ritilan: at least i think it does
Halo: I sing show tunes to myself in order to keep the voices in check
ritilan: is bad when they all sing along
Halo: Yeah, I just refuse to go along when they try that shit
Halo: Then I yell "DONT MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND"

#107329 +(155)- [X]

<Cyber_Akuma> They REALLY want to make dying in the game realistic
<Cyber_Akuma> The pc insantly locked up when i died

#117947 +(9)- [X]

[@CadWork] I used to be afraid to eat bananas at the office because we had a known homosexual in my dept

#123711 +(653)- [X]

MoonJuice: its amelia you dumb bitch
bryanvaim: you accidently typed "you" instead of "the"

#131568 +(206)- [X]

<lagmagnet> I forgot I downloaded the best of the 70s disco
* lagmagnet burns out to cd to listen on the train tomorrow
<BBQ_69> "best of 70s disco" dude, you got ripped.. there is no such thing!
<lagmagnet> hah fuck off :) 70s disco rocks :)
<BBQ_69> yeah, but then you run out of cocaine
<lagmagnet> true
<lagmagnet> :(

#134607 +(225)- [X]

<VashTS> im going to make a pop up that provides for them all, " DO YOU NEED CREDIT , OR A LARGE PENIS , OR BIGGER BUST SIZE , OR A LOAN ,,, WELL THEN CLICK THIS LINK TO BRING UP 900 MORE POP UPS AND FORMS TO FILL OUT WHICH WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING CUS YOU HAVE NO MONEY , A SMALL PENIS , NO BOOBS , AND NO ONE IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE YOU MONEY , OR DATE YOU , OR ANYTHING , CUS YOUR A NERD , A FUCKIN COMPUTER NERD , SO IGNORE THIS AND CLICK THE X"

#138676 +(199)- [X]

-—› quit: (CIA) (SDF@n00b-3A83B275.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by FBI)))
(@NSA) OMG GHOST GOVERMENT

#161525 +(262)- [X]

ILOVEKAZAA (java@81.109.64.QK00=) has joined. «25 people»
<@Infinik> ILOVEKAZAA: Hello, I work for the RIAA. Your computer address has been logged.
<ILOVEKAZAA> FUCK
ILOVEKAZAA «java@81.109.64.QK00=» has Quit iRC (User exited)

#165238 +(471)- [X]

(token_nrg): btw, I made some kind of statement last nite about Domino's Philly Cheesesteak pizza rox0r'ing.
(token_nrg): I would like to retract that statement if possible
(token_nrg): My anus thanks you
(token_nrg): and good nite

#189149 +(192)- [X]

<Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese prostitutes.
<Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations

#202901 +(701)- [X]

EternityAndAHalf: OMG
EternityAndAHalf: MY BROTHER IS PRACTICING HIS HORN
EternityAndAHalf: AT 2 A.M.
EternityAndAHalf: BRB, MY CAT IS GOING TO HAVE A BRAND NEW USE
HotDamn14S: lmfao

#218182 +(1558)- [X]

<WickedClown> well one night after sex i was lazy and left the condom on the floor till morning
<WickedClown> her dog ate it
<WickedClown> and her dad found it hanging from the dogs butt the next day

#238066 +(756)- [X]

<tah_twig> How do you know I'm NOT a hot, slutty girl?
<go_amd_go> because your here

#241250 +(610)- [X]

<digitz> I really hate it when girls think it's sexy to stand up and pull there cunt flaps apart and make it look like they have the predator between there legs

#291262 +(7814)- [X]

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense

#414951 +(2919)- [X]

<ninevolt> I may not be Jesus but my penis gives women a religous expereience.
<skittz> haha
<skittz> yeah
<skittz> it turns them into nuns

#632900 +(587)- [X]

<sdodson> can you provide that in wma format?
<Corydon76-home> Only if you can provide an encoder
<Corydon76-home> but it has to be able to run on my Apple IIgs
<Wonton> Wma sucks
<sdodson> you can encode oggs on your Apple IIgs?
<Corydon76-home> No, but if you're going to be an asshole about encoding formats, I'm going to be an asshole about the platform the encoder needs to run on.
<Catonic> lol

#695404 +(1254)- [X]

<phenom> would you bang the queen
<phenom> for $10000
<nacho> i dont have that kind of money

#760353 +(428)- [X]

HughDario: Man, so one of my Jewish friends the other day told me he doesn't believe in the moon landing.
HughDario: So I told him that I don't believe in the Holocaust and he dropped the subject.

#780868 +(2881)- [X]

<DrEechmen> So... earlier today, I was watching one of my family's cats hitting a cord hanging from our blinds for about 10 minutes or so, and I started thinking 'gee, the danged animal is so darned easily amused'... and then I realized that I'd been staring at a cat playing with a string for ten minutes.

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