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#203 +(78)- [X]

(Guilty) If only shafr was a large negro like the real shaft, then he could bust into the colo and frighten them

#247 +(416)- [X]

n e r d b 5: you use redhat?
n e r d b 5: thats a program you can get warez from, right?
n e r d b 5: like napster
n e r d b 5: d/l apps from other people

#618 +(27)- [X]

<Ash> My Amazon package arrived in Baltimore at 9pm last night... but there's no data after that!
<wild> ash: where is lk's package?
<MadHatter> mind your business wild
<MadHatter> I'm already taking care of lk
<MadHatter> don't ever mention it again
<MadHatter> ever
<gb> Ash: where is lk's package?
*** gb was kicked by MadHatter (..)

#3300 +(204)- [X]

<StoneDog> The mental image that went with getting head from a severed head?
<StoneDog> Didn't bug me.

#4036 +(945)- [X]

<Tragician> MOTHER...FUCKING...FIREWALL!
<mightyflo> that's a horrible mental image

#4109 +(32)- [X]

*** williard (~buttertop@sdn-ar-003njnbruP070.dialsprint.net) has joined #oscars
<williard> this channel should win a award for being so lame

#5883 +(457)- [X]

<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody. shes not around,
          he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?

#7322 +(259)- [X]

<chris> Spit or Swallow?
<holly> both, I spit and let you swallow

#11042 +(880)- [X]

(@MpTaNk) today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"

#11322 +(491)- [X]

<RunninRaven> I don't think I have once asked Jeeves a damn thing
<moestavern19> I asked him once where i could find some kick-ass porn
<RunninRaven> What did he say?
<moestavern19> he said kickassporn.com

#11628 +(460)- [X]

<dJOEk> okay, now seriously for a moment
<dJOEk> a dear friend of mine needs to break up with this girl
<\slick> punch her in the face and play sir mix-a-lot
<Crow> slicks solution to every problem.. 100 percent success rate

#21122 +(86)- [X]

<DrStrangelove> I used to swallow coins aswell.
<[DMK]Relvox> im too cheap to do that!

#26791 +(639)- [X]

<bn> YOU SON OF A BITCH
<Watts> bn raises an interesting point

#33509 +(50)- [X]

<Ghetto> OMG it's raining here like a cow pissing on a flat rock

#34271 +(198)- [X]

<[PLF]TehKirby> in canada; if you rape a dog
<[PLF]TehKirby> they give you money
<[PLF]Sohryu> shit
<[PLF]TehKirby> im serious.
<[PLF]Sohryu> jesus
<[PLF]Sohryu> id be rich

#37080 +(5)- [X]

[robbie-a] svcds? arent those dvds
[robbie-a] and you need a dvd burner

#44755 +(129)- [X]

<Jedateach> anyone in here got a spare xtra dialup account I can use
<_Godless_> lol. yeah ... sure ... no realy ... have my first born too while yer at it.

#44917 +(150)- [X]

<Kosta> I'm paying for 4 different hot chicks' EQ accounts in the hopes that one of them will put out.

#45241 +(280)- [X]

<crikket> spyware is stuff that looks at where you go on the net and tells some market research group
<strangefour> hmm, market research now know I go to japanese websites that have scantily clad drawings of green haired women with glasses
<crikket> next year that's what'll be advertizing pepsi
<crikket> thanks alot s4

#45521 +(-7)- [X]

<Christof-Dupri> This 13 year old girl on Dr Phil is rapeable

#46150 +(3)- [X]

<Jugsy> I've gotta read the "bible" in exchange for intraweb time

#49429 +(182)- [X]

shocka: God should have put women's eyeballs in their boobs

#49770 +(612)- [X]

* zYgoat announces a historic moment in the history of powered human flight
* zYgoat reaches into his backpack
* zYgoat pulls out a rocket powered dildo
<zYgoat> }===========>
* zYgoat jams it up Mikeyben's ass
* zYgoat takes a sledgehammer and slams it all the way-in
* zYgoat cues up Tom Petty - Don't Come Around Here No More
* zYgoat lights the fuse and salutes
*** Mikeyben was kicked off #Lopster by zYgoat (zYgoat)

#51517 +(182)- [X]

<Khey> There was this soap opera on the TV in the customer lounge at work and there were these black people on it
<Khey> And I thought to myself
<Khey> "Man, why don't they get 'real' black people in soap operas?"
<duffey> Haha
<Khey> I'm not talking about some upper-middle class light-skinned 'nigga' either.
<Khey> Some dark-skinned, thugg'd out, bling-blingin', grill'd up guy.
<Khey> With cornrows and a stocking cap
<Khey> I'd watch soap opera's then.
<Khey> "Oh no, Johnny's mom was kidnapped"
<Khey> "AW SHIT NIGGA I'S FUNNA CAP ME SOME CRACKAS"
<Khey> or something
<Khey> Anyways, enough of Stereotype Theatre with Mr.K

#63067 +(173)- [X]

<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> You know what I find funny...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Companies like Sony
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Who produce the copy protected CDs...
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> Yet also produce things which can crack it
<@ketsugi|scanning> like marker pens?
<+N-Bomb|Super_Pants> CD-R drives
<@ketsugi|scanning> close enough

#64732 +(773)- [X]

[StrikeBot] 65.  Who sought to create The Great Society?
[StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__
[Chevelle] bhudda
[Video] Lando Calrisian
[MinuS] lando calrisian

#68626 +(117)- [X]

<+MegamanX2K> They shoulda advertised UT03 at the super bowl
<@Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
<+MegamanX2K> who needs Football when you have BOMBING RUN!
<+MegamanX2K> <Jerry_Rice> YOU BLEED BETTER THAN YOU PUNT!
<Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
<MegamanX2K> with all the interceptions Tampa Bay made, John Madden shoulda yelled out "RrrrrrrrrrrrrRAMPAGE!"

#76653 +(262)- [X]

<germonik> pot is the one truth in the universe.
<germonik> it will neverget pissed at you and not wanan hang out.
<germonik> it never freaks out.
<germonik> it never whines.
<germonik> it never argues with you over stupid shit.
<germonik> even if all my friends abandoned me, pot would still be there for me.
<germonik> pot's a member of my family.
<FDR> That's because it's dead and it lacks the ability to move.

#84291 +(52)- [X]

<@nanashi> Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces...
<+Mara> -_-
<@Pokute> It's too bad you can't put the right emphasis on the words with IRC

#89278 +(-27)- [X]

* Sindacuion goes in front of a mirror and stares at his bootyful hair. Mmmmmm. The only good thing about my head.. Wait.. Those eyes... * drools and licks the mirror *

#94094 +(614)- [X]

<Doodleheimer> To all the girls here: What's it like having boobs?
<Doodleheimer> I just have some questions about them.
<Peter_Griffin> Doodle wants to know if he scans his hand and sends to you and you rub it on your chest if it still counts as getting to second base.

#131201 +(-4)- [X]

<Zibro> geez
<Zibro> these posters are dumb
<Zibro> it's all just cars
<Zibro> and women

#150655 +(778)- [X]

<cvd> fscking Cisco 3.0 material is in Engrish or some shit
<cvd> It's hard to study shit when they can't even write a complete sentence
<Macolio> super happy 100% network failure occurance!

#239322 +(2658)- [X]

<stuberg> we got home from fishos at about 3 am drank as fuck
<stuberg> drunk*
<stuberg> and decided to have this mass acid/shrooms binge
<stuberg> and we kept goin all mornin on it like trippin out crazy and watching some chinese subtitle moviee
<stuberg> and at about 8.30 in the mornign paulie decides he has to go to school and he actually left and walked to school
<pualat> ur friend went school on an acid/mushies trip nice
<stuberg> no no u dont get it, hes 24 and owns his own business hes not sposed to go to school

#267308 +(444)- [X]

<StreetPsychologist> Wow I just met a chick online who lives about 10 miles from me.
<punkpet> and her name is ted
<StreetPsychologist> NERD SEX!
<punkpet> create some nerdlings
<punkpet> when he's born it will be the first and last time he sees female gentalia
<StreetPsychologist> Our geographical proximity is making me thing MARRIAGE already.
<punkpet> lol
<phenobarbital> you might even take a shower today
<HellKat> no computer nerds breeding, next you know we'll have children running about with 20 fingers for more efficent keyboard use and an extra arm for cyber sex

#278755 +(879)- [X]

<Whammo> I lost my virginity to a ham sandwich
<WeblionX> That's not losing your virginity.
<Whammo> baloney

#447980 +(306)- [X]

<holgie> One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom,The wife was getting out of the shower   and the husband grabs her boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn`t need a bra." The wife was repulsed by his behavior and ignores him. The next week the two are again in the bathroom and while the wife was getting out of the shower he grabs her ass and says "If your ass was firmer you wouldn`t need a girdle." The wife is now pissed and is ploting her revenge. One day a week later the husband is getting out of the shower and the wife grabs his dick and says "If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn`t need your brother."

#449622 +(269)- [X]

<Miharu> you know you're asleep when you put your  jeans on backwards.
<Kriss> That, or Kriss Kross..

#546383 +(432)- [X]

<Shiv> really, how can you make a "combatting illiteracy" poster anyway?
<Shiv> make it a map to the library?

#572338 +(1312)- [X]

<Shakeman> holy christ, there is a hurricane Beta too?
<Linkin> yeah, its in development..

#627530 +(616)- [X]

<Thuryn>  irc is the u-bend under the sink of society

#638675 +(442)- [X]

[blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they cannot get more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's like Moore's law applied to annoyance
[blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a megaphone built-in. That way, your conversations will be clearly audible to everyone within 500 feet

#659425 +(372)- [X]

Andy: when I finish a song, I automaticly hate it.
Nielzor: that's quite a healthy attitude, though, I think, hating what you've created
Andy: like punching babies!
Nielzor: EXACTLY

#694493 +(561)- [X]

Brendan: A client of mine wants a cheesy backup solution
jbailey999: Cheese is no good as a data storage medium. It's unstable at room temperature.

#704840 +(729)- [X]

dan: i need a serious, business-type description of a blog
null: Unprofitable.

#755080 +(454)- [X]

<lanken> suppose I have a file tree, and I want to move all the leaves to the root of the tree
<infernal_jesus> lanken: shake tree -h

#759102 +(1412)- [X]

smack: get that .45
NOFX: looks nice
smack: it's the nicest gun i have ever shot/owned
NOFX: wtf 7 rounds
smack: it's a .45 man
smack: if you need more than 7 .45 rounds, you either can't shoot, or are in WAY over your head

#765549 +(5)- [X]

<%crazy_clown> php is like teh pron
<Keef> quick, dirty and cheap?
<%crazy_clown> and i fap over it

#790686 +(474)- [X]

RadioMatthew:  LimeWire is like committing a solo crime.
RadioMatthew:  Torrenting is like being a part of the mafia.

#949486 +(430)- [X]

<Me> the nigerian prince scam is old
<Me> today you do it like this:
<Me> hi, im an arabic dictator, and i have to get my vast fortune outside the country soon

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