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#3004 +(195)- [X]

<ChunLi> my friend works at a hospital and said this guy came in with an aspargaus stuck up his ass =)

#3698 +(114)- [X]

<Joshua> i'm almost out of money for food... and i've got 4 more months before i go home...
<Joshua> all of my remaining food money is going towards caffeine.
<Villager> who needs food when you have caffeine eh?

#5078 +(253)- [X]

<joey``> ryan...what are you doing for new year's
<ryano> going on dalnet

#7248 +(25)- [X]

<BBKahuna> shae, my ejaculation was increased by 300%!!!!

#7268 +(33)- [X]

( `46and2   ) i've learnt alot about getting a woman off... it's not that hard. i even convinced my friend to show me where the effing g spot is... i tried it on my g/f and all this clear shit came out

#8902 +(262)- [X]

<DL|horses> Death to all who oppose me!
* Warlord dies

#11520 +(1070)- [X]

<jre> If you were a Nazi and had 2 hostages but only 1 bullet, who would you shoot?  Some normal crew-cut soldier or G.I. Joe?
<Gudrow> I'd shoot myself because Nazis are assholes.

#11701 +(550)- [X]

<Lt Hawkins> someone from 127.0.0.1 keeps trying to hack me!
<Podex> You should send them a virus to destroy their computer!!!!!!

#13395 +(216)- [X]

(akerom) anyone gota picture of a fat naked stomach?
(akerom) or a fat naked girl
(akerom) im making a comic of last night

#15769 +(674)- [X]

<jor>  NE SXE/F W/P N A/S/L PM ME PLZ IF U R D 1 2 C 4 A BJ KTHX

#17642 +(916)- [X]

<Squee-G> You're old school? I beta tested the mother fucking abacus!

#20225 +(472)- [X]

<XDice> My last g/f retrated into a shell, and ended the relationship.
<maxathome> cool, she knew unix?

#22098 +(11)- [X]

<supreemball> my cock best viewed @ 2048x1536 resolution

#22393 +(115)- [X]

(cubeman) there is a big fat bug in Joust 2
(cubeman) I just found it
(cubeman) you can make the pterry kill itself in the lava
(cubeman) you kill a few then...
(cubeman) you have a screen where you don't advance
(BenJos) So what if you have the bug kill itself in the lava? I mean what does the big fat bug in Joust 2 have to do with it?
(cubeman) ummmm
(cubeman) I believe you are trying to obfuscate my senses

#22978 +(278)- [X]

<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you burn.

#24304 +(573)- [X]

*** cK|idle has quit IRC (penisland.com - order your free PEN now from pen ISLAND! We don't suck.)
*** bunka has quit IRC (penisland.com - order your free PEN now from pen ISLAND! We don't suck.)

<ce|Chanto> umm thats not pen island thats penis land

#27914 +(390)- [X]

<aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
<aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people would automatically start masturbating.

#33322 +(261)- [X]

(Fetch) freebsd and novell can go fuck themselves
(Fetch) with a pole
(Sancho) why don't you tell us how you really feel
(tobyl) Sancho: Because it would be too disturbing for words.
(Fetch) I'd like to hold the pole, so that I could violate them in a more
+bloody fashion
(Fetch) I would wiggle it around, so that their irritated and bloody anus
+holes would become twice their normal diameter.
(IDK) Sancho: And THAT's why he shouldn't tell us how he really feels.

#34252 +(520)- [X]

<NinjaDebugger> Too... many... fetch... quests!
* Zrith parsed that as "fetish."
<Mandoric> "My black leather panties fell down the well! I'll give you the Dildo of Erdrick if you retrieve them!"

#36722 +(169)- [X]

<NickBlasta> i just pwned a fly with a quarter
<rzrshrp> real blastas use their hands
<NickBlasta> i have evolved to use tools of pwnage
<rzrshrp> ...a quarter
<rzrshrp> it's a fucking quarter
<NickBlasta> deadly in the right hands
<rzrshrp> lol, fool

#38925 +(191)- [X]

<LunchBox> why is my usb-to-usb networking not working :(
<q[torg]> LunchBox: it's netnotworking

#41657 +(55)- [X]

<Meowfaceman> I Gave NAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid.

#41771 +(587)- [X]

<naga> 'dixy normus' won for class princess this year at our school
<naga> at the assembly, they called her name, but she didn't come down to take the prize
<naga> took 'em 5 minutes to figure it out
<parnbl00d> sounds sexual.
<parnbl00d> was she absent or somethin?

#43000 +(344)- [X]

<Avalanche> !seen bud
[@bud] Avalanche, I'm right here. Quit wasting my time!
<Avalanche> !seen vagina
[Respecter] lol
[@bud] Avalanche, I don't remember seeing vagina.
<Avalanche> why does that not surprise me

#43469 +(230)- [X]

Wayfarer[GX] has joined the channel.
<Wayfarer[GX> wow, takes a few minutes to connect to chat :( But it sure is nice to be here :)
<MrMac> Wayfarer: only happens to me when going through a NAT
<MrMac> through direct its fine
* Wayfarer[GX] doesn't do nat
<Wayfarer[GX]> wots NAT?
<MrMac> Network Address Translation
<Wayfarer[GX]> But mines english :)
<Wayfarer[GX]> it doesn't need translation

#43489 +(106)- [X]

taintedepitome: its sad
i am RAWK: what?
taintedepitome: when a boy wants ebola more than he wants you

#44788 +(86)- [X]

(RattX) my mate got slapped by a fat chick today
(RattX) she came up to us and asked him how fat people have sex and if they have to pull the flab up
(RattX) he turned around and said :"you should know u fat bitch"

#50824 +(1046)- [X]

jim: :D
jim: http://www.bash.org/?random1
jim: top one :D

#54520 +(1)- [X]

<Trestkon> A girl got her tonsels (sp?) out, so we all sign the card, and someone gives it to her, and she's like "..."
<Trestkon> cause she can't talk yet:P

#60061 +(-17)- [X]

<FlaVouR> if http was cooler it would be YO!/SUP!

#63068 +(-6)- [X]

<AlSkapone> It sounds like someone has sand in their Vagina.

#64445 +(672)- [X]

<timmo> i remember when my art teacher the first day of class
<timmo> first day of highschool
<timmo> made us write a a one page essay
<timmo> on
<timmo> "WHY PORN IS NOT ART"
<timmo> i think thats what set the mood for me hating him for the rest of my highschool career
<timmo> so i wrote one on why i thought porn was art
<timmo> and got 0 for it
<timmo> i shrugged it off though
<arse-poet> so why was porn art
<arse-poet> according to your essay
<timmo> i dont know
<timmo> i think it had something to do with airbrushing
<arse-poet> lol
<timmo> i cant really remember
<jestuh> lol

#82121 +(-73)- [X]

[ @LoGo ] somethings wrong with the internet
[ Billy ] lol

#103537 +(163)- [X]

<hohum> when you get to the printf(); *BAM* instant coredump followed by an suid shell
<hohum> get it?
<brandon> to a degree
* brandon isn't much on programming
<hohum> don't worry, neither are the people who write software :)
<brandon> lol
<hohum> you'd fit right in

#104238 +(425)- [X]

bISMARCK: man yor stupid
Wheelman56: man yor is stupid?
Wheelman56: who is man yor
Wheelman56: sounds japanese
Wheelman56: MAN YOR?!? HE NO HERE!!
bISMARCK: :|
Wheelman56: HE TRY TO FIX VCR CAUSE LIGHT BLINKING TWELVE ALL TIME!!

#148098 +(607)- [X]

<timovgod> I was in a rape awarness class once, well... my picture was.

#213367 +(280)- [X]

<Pr|muS> (H|J|nX)  BBS Warez?
<Pr|muS> (H|J|nX)  What do you have BBS related?
<hydro> wtf is be back soon warez

#221849 +(111)- [X]

<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world

#237981 +(570)- [X]

#337295 +(2328)- [X]

<[UA]lavalamp> I was playing chutes and ladders with my 4-year-old son...when he won, he jumped up, pointed at me, and shouted "pwned!"

#370931 +(456)- [X]

* nufan Is a GENUIS
<nufan> oops

#374451 +(1103)- [X]

<barnaby> TheMage: jess was hinting that i should ask her out :/
<TheMage> barnaby: ask ExZippo for advice.
<ExZippo> barnaby: Punch her in the tit.
<TheMage> barnaby: or not.

#374822 +(747)- [X]

Becca: find a penny pick it up all day long you'll have good luck
Matt: yeah... but
Matt: if you throw the penny at someone
Matt: it's funny

#402242 +(2176)- [X]

[fris] whats the most rebel thing you have done
[O_o`] destroyed the death star

#455450 +(1079)- [X]

<@Vegetarian> i cant wait till i die, im either gonna have "BRB" or "AFK" on my tombstone..

#472471 +(-218)- [X]

<NASDAQbastardo> Black Mesa is nothing but a Gungan minority

#580701 +(2906)- [X]

<iibbmm> Stupid World of Warcraft.
<iibbmm> I have no money, I have no skills.  All of the hot hot elvin women are dancing with the big warrior guys.  It's college all over again.

#592829 +(1801)- [X]

<Ksosez> i fucking hate ADD
<jesus_X> As in Attention
<jesus_X> Attention Deficit, something...
<Ksosez> Disorder
<jesus_X> What?

#620218 +(832)- [X]

[PlatypusMan] You're cluttering the chat.
[PlatypusMan] It's like littering on a highway.
[PlatypusMan] Somewhere an e-indian is crying.

#801477 +(2727)- [X]

(idestroy) sigh
(idestroy) ok so
(idestroy) my friend got a handle of smirnoff vodka
(idestroy) we killed it together in like an hour
(idestroy) I went to bed
(idestroy) in boxers
(idestroy) apparently
(idestroy) I woke up and had to poo
(idestroy) instead of going to my bathroom
(idestroy) I went out into the hallway
(idestroy) into the stairwell
(idestroy) removed my boxers and placed them on the stairs
(idestroy) then took a massive liquidy shit at the top of the steps
(idestroy) walked THROUGH it
(idestroy) leaving poopy footprints
(idestroy) left my boxers there
(idestroy) went DOWN TO THE 2nd FLOOR
(idestroy) from the third
(idestroy) banged on random people's doors
(idestroy) people came out and saw me walking down the hall naked with shit on my ass
(idestroy) I made it to the stairs again
(idestroy) went back to my floor but down a few doors to my friends
(idestroy) there was like 15 people in their room
(idestroy) it was packed
(idestroy) I was naked
(idestroy) I went into their bathroom
(idestroy) and everyone was like what the fuck
(idestroy) went into the toilet stall, tried to clean my ass
(idestroy) FELL OVER AND SMEARED SHIT ON THEIR WALL
(idestroy) meanwhile someone went back to my room and got my clothes
(idestroy) and someone else found the poo
(idestroy) they brought my clothes over
(idestroy) I tried to put my shirt on my legs
(idestroy) and said THESE ARENT MY PANTS
(idestroy) so I got help with that
(idestroy) got walked back to my room
(idestroy) and went back to sleep
(idestroy) woke up the next day
(idestroy) thought it was a dream
(idestroy) called my friend paul
(idestroy) he told me all about it
(idestroy) :(
(ZS) note to self: never let idestroy have alcohol
(idestroy) there's a facebook group "who pooped on the stairs"

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