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#291 +(2188)- [X]

<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area

#601 +(78)- [X]

<{ReNeGaDe}>  ok why is no one writin back to me; what do i got no fingers to type with and im just imaginin writin all this?

#647 +(400)- [X]

<Medieval> the chances of me spontaneously climaxing while thinking about that are increasing

#1379 +(1406)- [X]

<studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
<studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
<studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century

#2425 +(13)- [X]

<gb> tip of penis stuck to underwear after jackin

#4779 +(563)- [X]

<Lucent> i'm just about fucking tired of middle schoolers named samantha e-mailing me for chemistry homework
<Lucent> without giving a picture

#7848 +(1506)- [X]

Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war! o/`
Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level. %)
Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war!
E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that currently houses my conscious and those physical manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!

#7998 +(220)- [X]

<mewse> i bet she was really hot in preschool

#10925 +(394)- [X]

<meiscoole:#pc> my ethernet card isn't lighting up and displaying physical
    connection.  Any one have any idea why?
<munky:#pc> broke ethernet cable
<meiscoole:#pc> what is an ethernet cable?

#14100 +(178)- [X]

<mommiebear44> so max....how long have you stopped smoking for?
<|non_smoking_max|> let me see ....... about 1 hour 30 min ...

#15961 +(328)- [X]

<ninth> creed is the cutting edge
<JtHM> just cuz they make you want to slit your wrists doesn't make them cutting edge

#17900 +(253)- [X]

<Shadowline> kinda quite in here lately ? What seems to be the problem ?
<PovRayMan> fap fap fap

#17950 +(137)- [X]

<billf> if someone tried to pull a "surprise" prostate exam on me, I'd get up and leave

#23356 +(258)- [X]

*** tanner has joined #support
<Tabby_Tech> Welcome to ISP Support Chat, How can we help you?
<tanner> i need a good dildo site to go to
<@jeff-ISP-away> tanner why dont you go away
<Tabby_Tech> tanner: you should find a search engine like www.google.com
<Tabby_Tech> tanner: we don't provide support for things like that
<tanner> then what
<tanner> do i type in dildo shop
<Tabby_Tech> tanner: you type in whatever you want to search for in the search window
* @jeff-ISP-away thinks tanner is a little kid who learned a new word today
<tanner> I am 20 and i am a sexy woman
<@jeff-ISP-away> uh huh
<tanner> i am
<@jeff-ISP-away> and one who is about to be without an internet connection if you do not stop asking those questions in here
*** tanner has left #support

#30461 +(227)- [X]

<Kevyn> Windows XP has been running for 2wks 6days 49mins 26secs
<Kevyn> Heh. Damn.
<Kevyn> I thought I smelled something burning.

#37080 +(5)- [X]

[robbie-a] svcds? arent those dvds
[robbie-a] and you need a dvd burner

#38503 +(522)- [X]

<27946889> hola.
<Losifer> Do I know you?
<27946889> No, I found you on random chat.
<27946889> What, just because you don't know someone you won't talk to them?
<Losifer> Pretty much.  This is my work account.  I conduct business through this account.  I don't have time to chat.
<27946889> Sorry.
<27946889> i think you're very rude
<Losifer> That's interesting.  I find it more rude to continue to send unsolicited messages to a stranger once you've been told that the stranger in question isn't interested in talking to you.
<27946889> why are you in such a bad mood, you are so young, sorry that i thought it would be nice to talk to you because i saw your info and i found you interesting,,,
<Losifer> I'm in a bad mood because I'm working and you keep interrupting me.  Please go away.
<27946889> so where do you work?
<27946889> let me ask you something, how come it says satan ate your ears in your info?

#38877 +(835)- [X]

<darknation> wtf is the point in storing quotes?
<boris_> darknation: it's like taking a photo in real life :P
<darknation> I wouldn't want photos of retards

#39079 +(687)- [X]

<+EGreg> ATA? RAID? ATAPI? IDE? EIDE? SCSI? what is the world coming to?? FTP? SPAM? HTTP? HD? I have been here for a short while and already so many acronyms :-)
<+EGreg> of course there are 10x more that I know, but still. :-)
<@O_6> ever heard of 'stfu' ?

#40524 +(344)- [X]

*** Mode change "+b *!*@24CBE824.816AE85.502C52D6.IP" for channel #s*p by Spazz
<Spazz> Typo.
<amishjosh> typo? YOU BANNED HIM!
<Spazz> b and v, they're right next to each other

#41211 +(172)- [X]

<madog> because your a little pee-on
<madog> who has no pull on this network
<madog> try it agian, ill make sure you're glined
* madog (scottx@vulnerable.org) Quit (Local kill by humble (no pull on this network :)))

#41253 +(297)- [X]

<Jessica6> I may not be good at languages but I'm a lot better at maths than you two! :P
<Jessica6> Er....I mean 'you three'

#42033 +(310)- [X]

<AutistiCat> Anyone know how to get a halogen light bulb to fit into a halogen lamp thing?
<Ochopatas> Push on it
<AutistiCat> It has two little things sticking out and they won't go in...
<AutistiCat> If I push any harder it'll break before it goes in.
<Sensi> you slide it in and rotate the light. it should lock in
<AutistiCat> It won't slide in. It's like the holes are too small.
<Squinky> Wait until it passes adolescence.

#43207 +(202)- [X]

<sev> asus makes shitty mobos
<sev> overpriced too.
--> omega (medusa_a@A4B2D84.20510306.1C9FC6DF.IP) has joined #hell
--- ChanServ gives channel operator status to omega
--- ChanServ sets mode +a #hell omega
<asus> loud out laugh's
<asus> i have 3
<asus> :P
<sev> cool
<sev> i have 1
<sev> but it's dead
<sev> ;)
<omega> I have 0
* omega wonders what the convo was
<sev> japanese love slaves.
<omega> oh
<omega> yeah, I have 0

#44029 +(80)- [X]

<Mars_Alien> okey wat am i missing
<Gandalf> your h key?
--> jennings1 (jirc@vic-dial-196-31-177-46.mweb.co.za) has joined #Highveld
<Mars_Alien> gulo jennings1

#49289 +(9)- [X]

[gsf]Tomato: It's only rape if you don't take them out to dinner first.

#54933 +(214)- [X]

*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to
<Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art.
<Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to hentai" :)?
<Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]

#62248 +(1219)- [X]

<Dromous> I think a church with a lightning rod shows a decided lack of confidence.

#72721 +(437)- [X]

<Pyrate> I was downloading a hentai game, but it was slowing down my Harry Potter download, so I canceled it... I think I may be a little retarded

#74816 +(154)- [X]

* z2so4 is just freaking out cause he has a live patient final tommrow and hasn't really studies so is freaking out and erattic in thoughts and such
<Kristoph> which field?
<z2so4> Cardiac and blood mechanics
<Kristoph> have you done cadavers and shit?
<z2so4> yeah... now I work with them
<Kristoph> :D

#76490 +(78)- [X]

<well-howdy-doo> does anyone know stuff about laptops and their connections?
<well-howdy-doo> well we have it connected to the dsl-works fine
<well-howdy-doo> but it wont connect to phoneline
<CowBot> RJ-45 connectors (ethernet) won't plug into a phone line, well-howdy-doo
<well-howdy-doo> is there a way to configure it-cowbot?

#80932 +(296)- [X]

#107433 +(357)- [X]

<kmad> if your parents named you 'Penis' would you kill yourself
<Bertovo> No
<Bertovo> I would kill my parents
<kmad> good point
<Bertovo> "Penis, quit jumping on the table"
<kmad> "penis, clean up after yourself"
<Bertovo> if only it were that easy

#190535 +(2019)- [X]

Quaestor> how frequently does a question need to be asked to be considered a Frequently Asked Question?
Archon11> 7 times in the US and 11 in Canada. The European Union is considering a common number of five, but Great Britain refuses to comply and insists on using its own number, six. China does not allow questions except in Hong Kong.

#349094 +(700)- [X]

(alchemist) does a ps2 gameshark let you play burnt games?
(Victor`) the short answer is: yes, you can play burnt games with a ps2 gameshark.
(alchemist) long answer?
(mojo) it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

#371438 +(2724)- [X]

* ^haksor^ has joined #pipari
<^haksor^> anyone have a serial for Soldier of Fortune 2???
<tiltti> Y34H-R1GH-TYOU-N3RD-4SS
<^haksor^> thanks

<^haksor^> not enough letters in that???
<tiltti> try adding -H0L3 to the end of it
<^haksor^> ok

#396022 +(249)- [X]

<JohnPnP> Hey, porn is good. SEX CAN WAIt, MASTURBATE.
<JohnPnP> Abstinance is in the palm of your hand.

#398224 +(2027)- [X]

<[BU]RaptoR`> I'd like to travel back to the year 1337 and point and laugh at everything

#416931 +(1048)- [X]

<SJEZealot> You know your car is slow when it has a blue circle with the letters F-O-R-D in it.
<Zoomzoom123> At least they circled the problem.

#433425 +(-926)- [X]

[30/10/04 00:32:41] Tinkerbell :
last funny for the day
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are
there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself
with intelligent people."
Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really
The Queen takes a sip of tea.
"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister
in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty..."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have
a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's
not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him
an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in
the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have
a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face,
"No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

#480765 +(625)- [X]

<savage> Comic convention all day tomorrow, then off to a role playing (paper & pencil) convention for the remainder of the weekend :-)
<marv> role-playing a pencil sounds like it could get boring after a few days

#524062 +(2616)- [X]

3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena

#630094 +(1276)- [X]

<Revolution|AngeL> he thinks because we idle 4 of the same channels
<Revolution|AngeL> we're somehow friends
<Revolution|AngeL> i dont even know how it started.
<Revolution|AngeL> a casual glance here
<Revolution|AngeL> a soft touch there
<Revolution|AngeL> gentle, warm and caring chatting.
<Revolution|AngeL> brokeback irc.
<Revolution|AngeL> i wish i knew how to /quit you

#631598 +(1299)- [X]

<DooMGoaT> OMG
<DooMGoaT> shame none of the 360 games are as good as the spider squashy banner

#643308 +(6)- [X]

<qu37z> thats the last time I let a mexican live in my garage
<qu37z> especially a quaker mexican
<qu37z> that fucker gets up at 4am and starts sleeping.

#674850 +(697)- [X]

<drev> how was your weekend?
<LaDyLoVe> amazing! my friends threw a surprise party for my birthday :)
<drev> fuck the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party was a fucking intervention

#696478 +(781)- [X]

<Anony-X> Whats the worst thing about rollerskating?
<Anony-X> Telling your parents your gay.

#739354 +(37)- [X]

CharmQuark42: a math sheep?
Quillethe: it would explain the counting
CharmQuark42: it does integ-wools!

#764292 +(1356)- [X]

Magna Carta: Being in Alexa's top 1000 says a lot for any site...
Motley: Related: In walmart today, it was pretty packed
Motley: and my nephew (11) is going to get some icees, he gets ready to turn left out of electronics
Motley: and he goes 'dude, what flavor?'
Motley: I shouted 'MOAR MUDKIPS' (aka blue)
Motley: Then this is what I hear..
Motley: Far left: 'KILL IT WITH FIRE!'
Motley: Far right: 'NO U'
Motley: Behind: 'DO NOT WANT'
Motley: and then god bless 'em, the guy standing *right* next to me goes 'shut the fuck up btards!"
Magna Carta: ...
Magna Carta: You live in EKY?
Motley: ...yeah
Magna Carta: OSHIT

#830741 +(428)- [X]

<Geekzilla> "Ah. I see here you were a Geek Squad Special Agent"
<Geekzilla> "Yes, sir. Three years in the field. I was quite good at my job"
<Geekzilla> "I see. Well, thanks for coming in to interview, unfortunately we have no need for your services"
<Geekzilla> "But... but I thought you said you needed an experienced, talented IT tech?!"
<Geekzilla> "Exactly.  Good luck in your job search"

0.0343 20956 quotes approved; 4410 quotes pending
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