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#32 +(1202)- [X] <Goemon> you know how they have the /whois command, they should have a /whowas command to see who people were after they quit.
<Spidey> they do, goemon
<Goemon> damn.
<Goemon> my mom must have dropped
<Goemon> me
#937 +(466)- [X] <QuoteSick> >:)
<QuoteSick> {:-)
<zantispam> :-{
<zantispam> ^^^ moustache
<zantispam> :-{>
<zantispam> ^^^ goatee
<acestus> {:-) ?
<acestus> Toupee?
<DigDug> >8)
<finkployd> :(-<(&) - not happy having a tapeworm
#945 +(287)- [X] (Fee^) i try to help...it's only a 28.8 , so pack a lunch
#1078 +(506)- [X] (idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box
#1137 +(404)- [X] <notgoth> FUCK DAMN IT
<notgoth> i shot cum in my eye
<notgoth> fuck that burns
<notgoth> i was jerking off
<notgoth> and damn!
<notgoth> ow
<enex> were you jerking off to your dick or something?
#1862 +(-99)- [X] <Mass> i have a total of * drum roll plz* 83 Units
<kisama> yeah i have 354 units of nigger blood.
<Guilty> Snow is trying to become a true nigger by way of transfusion
<Guilty> Silly gook
#2479 +(610)- [X] <Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days
#3306 +(231)- [X] [|crazy|] channel is +s
[sk8-girl] whats +s?
<thc\ip> cant tell u
<thc\ip> its a secret
[sk8-girl] oh.. ok =\
#6930 +(894)- [X] <psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"
#7466 +(248)- [X] <gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
<gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
<gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten with a
sledgehammer
#12547 +(451)- [X] <veggie> when matthew was just learning to talk we were on the bus
<veggie> and he couldnt quite pronounce truck
<veggie> he pronounced it fuck
<sully> back to work with you :)
<sully> LOL veggie
<veggie> so he looks out the bus window and says really loud...
<veggie> OH MOMMY BIG FUCK
<sully> LOL!
<veggie> hahaha
<veggie> BIG HUGE FUCK
<veggie> firetruck = firefuck
<veggie> dumptruck = dumpfuck
<veggie> etc..
#12899 +(730)- [X] <DireWolf> My life'd be a whole lot cooler if Vikings invaded every once in a while.
#13200 +(576)- [X] <erisynne> he has a ctcp version fetish
<erisynne> he did it to me 7 times
<GreenMtn> did you lose your versionity?
#14792 +(1)- [X] <collie> Why did irc2-1.netcom.com sets mode: -o collie deop me?
<Temps> cause you wasn't opped first
<collie> I was opped now. Why did netcom deop me.
<collie> I can see some other server deoping me but not my own that I pay every month.
*** collie has left channel #netcom
#14886 +(343)- [X] <karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell script.
<Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.
#22580 +(348)- [X] (PowrSlave) how r things?
(DAMMiT_) good
(DAMMiT_) well
(DAMMiT_) except for the fact that my 88 GT just got blown away by a Beetle with
a license plate labeled "KIWI"
#23089 +(429)- [X] <FFChatter> I wanna' change my nick!
<Onyx> type /nick (NAME HERE)
<FFChatter> Trying to trick me?....
<FFChatter> I won't fall for it....
#31132 +(122)- [X] <IlPalazzo> I fucking bought a dreamcast because of Seaman
<Zackary> I fucked a bought Dreamcast full of semen
#33984 +(30)- [X] (DownKaos): free phone sex....tight
(DownKaos): what is it
(dvast8): KIS-SASS
(DownKaos): I hate to think what your day job is with a phone # like that
(dvast8): union rep
(DownKaos): so worse then a gay male prostitute
#34969 +(226)- [X] <D4NG3R0U5> i swear to god my college is selling personal info to bookies or somethen
<D4NG3R0U5> "Do you plan on living in the residence you've written above, for at least a year 1=yes 2=no |__|"
<R4V3N0U5 1> every college asks that
<D4NG3R0U5> "Would you say you're a fan of college sports, and are responsible when it comes to making bets 1=yes 2=no |__|"
<D4NG3R0U5> "Do you have a domestic animal that could be killed if you were to fail to pay a dept 1=yes 2=no |__|
#36476 +(416)- [X] <trekkie47> u know how my bros comp is the same room as mine right ?
<jbean> yeah
<trekkie47> well my bro was dling pr0n on his computer
<trekkie47> and he just fuckin left the downloads to go and went to a friends
<trekkie47> then dad went on his computer
<jbean> and then
<trekkie47> i dunno
<trekkie47> he told me to leave
<jbean> hahahaha
#42033 +(251)- [X] <AutistiCat> Anyone know how to get a halogen light bulb to fit into a halogen lamp thing?
<Ochopatas> Push on it
<AutistiCat> It has two little things sticking out and they won't go in...
<AutistiCat> If I push any harder it'll break before it goes in.
<Sensi> you slide it in and rotate the light. it should lock in
<AutistiCat> It won't slide in. It's like the holes are too small.
<Squinky> Wait until it passes adolescence.
#44297 +(-106)- [X] <DonThorino> en der kan låne mig en cd-key
<FeliX> 1. English only
<FeliX> 2. Warez is not allowed
<FeliX> 3. Good bye
* FeliX sets mode: +b DonThorino!*abw@0x503e007e.albnxx8.adsl.tele.dk
* DonThorino was kicked by FeliX (DonThorino)
#44900 +(249)- [X] <Marvin> I've found one, and only one practical application for "13375p33k"
<Marvin> secure passwords
#45876 +(111)- [X] <Noz> i've just run my finger along the floor of the case and picked up enough dust to choke a midget
#48302 +(566)- [X] <Rufus> Damn, a job at blizzard would certainly be cool
<Shinji> nah
<Shinji> you'd get your paycheck 7 months after you are supposed to
<Rufus> So true
<Rufus> And it would be "patched" and "downgraded" by that time
<Rufus> Your net result would be a check for 5 bucks with "gogogogogogoggogogo" written all over it
<Shinji> But don't forget
<Shinji> There'd be a dupe bug, so you could get double your pay as much as you want
<Rufus> You'd have to throw the check on the ground, then pick it up and your pocketbook at the same time
<Shinji> ... but then you'd lag trying to cross the street to get to the bank, get hit by a bicyclist repeatedly, and die :)
#53939 +(1594)- [X] <quintessential> HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE JUST FIRED A FIRECRACKER ONTO MY BALCNONY
<kuntraver> heh
<quintessential> i should close teh door, but its not a noisy one, its just a sparkler on steroids i tink
<kuntraver> anyhoo, how are the submissions going?
<quintessential> ok, i just uploaded a batch yesterday
<quintessential> wtf
<kuntraver> ?
<quintessential> CRAP MY CAT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
#55128 +(-20)- [X] <The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4
<[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons desease
#58600 +(147)- [X] <Meshugga> sleep is supposed to be done between 6 am and 2 pm
<octane> whats this sleep thingie anyways?
<octane> is it something real or yet another urban legend?
<Meshugga> sleep, neut., The thing which makes all your boxen idle
<octane> thats called `power outage' here.
#61903 +(164)- [X] (+RC-Cola): it'd be awesome if like there were people breakdancing
(+RC-Cola): and you just got your boner out and spun like a top on your boner
(+RC-Cola): and held your feet behind your head in a suplex-style arc
(+Mr_Legacy): RC: you just might be retarted.
(+RC-Cola): oh my bad
#73081 +(136)- [X] <Taerom> "On tonight's headlines, Tony The Tiger is arrested for sexual assault. He would not comment on the charges, except to say: It's rrrrrrrrrrrrape!"
#91826 +(-20)- [X] <REDkryptonite> i wish g bush would wage war on fat chix
#104238 +(346)- [X] bISMARCK: man yor stupid
Wheelman56: man yor is stupid?
Wheelman56: who is man yor
Wheelman56: sounds japanese
Wheelman56: MAN YOR?!? HE NO HERE!!
bISMARCK: :|
Wheelman56: HE TRY TO FIX VCR CAUSE LIGHT BLINKING TWELVE ALL TIME!!
#139611 +(122)- [X] * Aphal sets mode: +b brit!*@*
<Aphal> haha i got u
* Kat sets mode: -b brit!*@*
<Aphal> wtf
* Aphal sets mode: +b cats!*@*
* Kat sets mode: -b cats!*@*
<Aphal> >:|
* Aphal sets mode: +b polaris!*@*
<Kat> k
<Aphal> :D
<Polaris> :(
#145857 +(1008)- [X] MonkeysMa: fuck that, if all chicks wanted was a huge dick, asians wouldn't be the largest ethnic group on the planet
#167054 +(720)- [X] (@[e]space) going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion
#173451 +(1388)- [X] <theclubhousebarandgrillgod> i have a ????? who is the admin here
<Kyle> You have a horse?
<jeff> I'd like to buy a vowel.
#193399 +(197)- [X] <SumGeye> I met God once.
<Bern> Ok...
<SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like whiskey.
#283819 +(932)- [X] <ic3n3t> there is a bunch of girls playing soccer in the park
<uberartsyboi> im coming over.
<ic3n3t> i think they are 15
<ic3n3t> pedophile!
<uberartsyboi> im shaving the goatee then coming over.
<ic3n3t> i'll get the lawn chairs
#334911 +(2021)- [X] ThAJuGgAlEtTe987: Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this worldthat youu would die for. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you dont even know exists loves you. When youuu make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. So if you are a loving friend, send this to everyone on you list
ZooTYaDeaDHomiE: Go Fuck Yourself
#395262 +(575)- [X] krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire countries. A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an unfortunate error in translation.
#408550 +(706)- [X] <BunnyMan730> So in my massive driving fit yesterday, I went into a Smiths up in north ogden to get a drink and a snack, I saw the pharmisit thingy and decided to walk up to it and ask for some condoms... The guy there said "Sure... What are you going to use them for?"...
<keucu> ..............
<keucu> What the Hell.
#423529 +(1545)- [X] Kult Radio: So I was with this girl
Kult Radio: She said "Give me eight inches and make it hurt"
Kult Radio: So I fucked her twice and hit her in the head with a brick.
#432550 +(1021)- [X] Rabidplaybunny87: A Touching Story of Love and Marriage
Rabidplaybunny87: An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly
smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up
the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from
the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the
bedroom, and with even greater effort inched himself down the stairs,
gripping the railing with both hands.
Rabidplaybunny87: With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into
the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought
himself already in heaven. There, spread out upon newspapers on
the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate
chip cookies.
Rabidplaybunny87: Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted
wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one
great final effort, he moved himself toward the table. His parched lips
parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was almost already in his mouth;
seemingly bringing him back to life.
Rabidplaybunny87: The aged and withered hand, shakily made its way to a cookie at
the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula
by his wife.
Rabidplaybunny87: "Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."
#601337 +(1078)- [X] <sev> so I was walking through the city with a bunch of roses in one hand and a bag of potaotes in the other, and I had something like five people stop me and ask if I was going to propose to an irishman 8\
#617477 +(1244)- [X] <Nichole> at what point do you cross that line from "seeing someone" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" status
<RobbiePaul> After he starts hitting you
<Nichole> fist or open handed?
#647601 +(1376)- [X] Jeffrey: Our customers at Cox are simply amazing.
Jeffrey: So I'm trying to troubleshoot this customer's cable. I tell her to punch in "zero, three" on the remote control.
Jeffrey: These instructions were followed shortly by two tones in my ear.
#658354 +(389)- [X] Sarah: I hate how society says we all have to be thin
Jenn: I'm fat because I'm rebelling
#729963 +(470)- [X] <Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma?
<Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta, Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release
#776099 +(269)- [X] <Valaris> Q: How do I get child pornography?
<Valaris> A: Start a free image hosting site.
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