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#537 +(182)- [X]

<enex> You have invited Vic Viper to start using Microsoft Windows. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.
<enex> Vic Viper does not have Microsoft Windows installed and is not able to accept your invitation.
<enex> Look how clever I am! ^_^

#618 +(62)- [X]

<Ash> My Amazon package arrived in Baltimore at 9pm last night... but there's no data after that!
<wild> ash: where is lk's package?
<MadHatter> mind your business wild
<MadHatter> I'm already taking care of lk
<MadHatter> don't ever mention it again
<MadHatter> ever
<gb> Ash: where is lk's package?
*** gb was kicked by MadHatter (..)

#1187 +(177)- [X]

(SpAc3d-) T@$#@R!@##!I!#!#P!#!#
(SpAc3d-) if you were tripping it would show up really clearly :P

#2279 +(289)- [X]

<BombScare> im fuckin done
<BombScare> bah..no high speed net = no streaming pr0n movies
<BombScare> gotta jerk off to memories then :(

#2361 +(188)- [X]

<chrysOUT> bye =D peace and love!!!
<Sarutobi> peace & cookies, tyne
<Sarutobi> be safe :]
<chrysOUT> ***poOf***
<djglitch> she's not gone
<djglitch> she's addicted
<djglitch> ;)
<chrysOUT> die
<djglitch> hahahahaha

#3265 +(409)- [X]

<HondaRace> ask shok and how much I charged him for his clutch
<HondaRace> ;)
<Shok> no
<Shok> i'm embarassed
<poste> how much?
<HondaRace> he sucked my dick
<Shok> i felt used and dirty after
<spicrx7> HR, he sucked mine for a stick of gum the other day
<spicrx7> you got ripped off

#6781 +(501)- [X]

<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I", "myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.

#7247 +(185)- [X]

<sylwia> I'm drawing black people
<sylwia> for a poster for my english class
<sylwia> I think I made tham too black
<sylwia> you can't really see their faces

#7903 +(34)- [X]

<S|Foo2rama> Don't make me go GTA III on your ass

#7974 +(231)- [X]

<Pirificio> Anyone on here with a higher level of Estrogin than Testoterone?
<mogismog> lemme guess, you don't have a girlfriend?

#8863 +(150)- [X]

<Bikky> I've been staring at fserves so long I don't know whether I need a shit or a haircut

#10028 +(1749)- [X]

*** wolex has joined #lockergnome
|wolex| hi
|wolex| Anyone active at this time?
* nobody is
|wolex| thanks
|wolex| but I need some help
* nobody can help you
|wolex| thanks again
* nobody wants to help you
|wolex| have a great day then
|wolex| oh thats better
|wolex| and why is that
|wolex| oh. nobody is a name!!!
|nobody| hahaha

#14232 +(611)- [X]

<sWampy> he should have had anikin walk in on jarjar doing portman, and that be the reason that anikin turned so dark, and jarjar being luke and leia's father would explain a lot about why they were so dippy to have such a strong father.
<clemmy> but why would darthvader tell luke he's his father then?
<sWampy> just to confuse him so he could cut off his hand, plus he's in denial that his wife would cheat on him with jarjar.
<clemmy> I guess luke would be more shocked to find out jarjar is his father
<Harekiet> darth vader still had some good in him so he didn't want luke to know

#14781 +(277)- [X]

<throwback> you mean to say that someone overreacted on irc?
<throwback> when the fuck does that happen?

#15482 +(122)- [X]

<ZioB> I hate clipping my nails, its hard to pick my nos

#16510 +(170)- [X]

<mb> everytime i've seen Iron Chef they always use sweet fish
<yesyouam> what's sweet fish?
<mb> the meat is supposed to be really sweet
<mb> and the guts are supposed to be bitter
<yesyouam> like ma wimminz

#16511 +(332)- [X]

<noah> no I need a way to come to terms with the fact that I wasted
<noah> my horny years whacking off to porn instead of bagging college
<noah> tail
<dr.adam> might i suggest bourbon

#16734 +(45)- [X]

ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now

#20383 +(329)- [X]

[topic changed [ @lelesan [ Attention IRC Users: No one fucking cares what mp3 you are listening to ]

#21858 +(494)- [X]

<user> when I can figure out how to compile sex, we're going to be rich
<someone> so true
<someone> geeks everywhere will be so happy
<user> "download the latest binary of sex for Linux, or build it from source"
<someone> ummm
<someone> build from source with my options
<user> I'd have the longest configure line you've ever seen
<someone> --swallow=yes
<user> ./configure --with-toys --
<user> damnit..I wasn't done
<user> --enable-plugins
<someone> oh yah
<someone> --outside=yes
<user> --set-max-users=10
<someone> --set-max-female-users=10

#22245 +(400)- [X]

<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<Quintus> let me get this straight
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<Quintus> if i understand you correctly
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<Quintus> two words, two syllables, sounds like..

#22256 +(361)- [X]

<Arcane[maid]> i stole one of those blue signs that says "phone" on it
<Arcane[maid]> what should i do with it
<suds> stick it down your pants and ask hot chics if they want to call collect.

#23455 +(199)- [X]

<KooLLaiD> I'm not FAT!!! I'm pleasently Plump :o)
<Piston> and i'm not white i'm just not really tan.

#29402 +(425)- [X]

<misogynic> Senor: tell me, is your mother still attractive?
<SenorWeird> for someone her age, I'd say so.
<misogynic> Can I have her number?
<SenorWeird> (305)867-5309
<misogynic> :D!
<misogynic> What's her name?
<SenorWeird> Jenny
<misogynic> Is that her honest number?

#31155 +(461)- [X]

<Firamas> bash.org is the cure for everything
<Firamas> insomnia
<Firamas> homework
<lvlsixtyclr> sexual needs?
<Firamas> hunger
<Firamas> ok, almost everything
<lvlsixtyclr> come on
<lvlsixtyclr> you cant tell me u dont masturbate to the quotes
<Firamas> i'll admit that i have yet to consider beatin off to it
<lvlsixtyclr> I'm masturbating right now thinking about you masturbating to bash.org

#31338 +(376)- [X]

<FJ> you know what the coolest thing about IRC is?
<ashendragon> what
<FJ> you can talk with your mouth full and still be understood

#34320 +(179)- [X]

<Tozz> <Tre`> I have no girl
<Tozz> <Tre`> to give me sex
<Tozz> <Tre`> all I have
<Tozz> <Tre`> is binary and hex
*** Tozz is now known as Tozz|Coden
<iceblox> what does he want to tell us :>

#34461 +(398)- [X]

<verin> and on the fourth day, there was pr0n, and God said, "let this be a blessing onto you, since Eve is out shopping"

#42626 +(262)- [X]

<CapnCloud> i have a screenshot coming... it's coming... hrrrrrghhhh
<ashen|nekogirl> O.O
* ashen|nekogirl backs far far away from CapnCloud
<CapnCloud> XD
<ashen|nekogirl> >.o
<plubeard> ....screenshots have never sounded so dirty

#42743 +(83)- [X]

<easytease> i got the winamp setup file i think
<Soimafrea> kool whats that do?

#47530 +(235)- [X]

IVIasterFunk: biacksfourteen
Biax14: iviasterflunk
IVIasterFunk: funk*
IVIasterFunk: bastard
Biax14: D'oh
Biax14: My mistake ;
IVIasterFunk: my ass
Biax14: is smeely
IVIasterFunk: the l is nowhere near the l key
IVIasterFunk: u*
IVIasterFunk: fuck

#47583 +(170)- [X]

<@nik0li> SANTA MONICA, Calif. (Wireless Flash) -- A woman in Santa Monica, California, is attempting to lose weight in a manner others may not be able to stomach -- an all-semen diet.
<@nik0li> Starting December 1, a plump porn star named Kim Kelly hopes to lose between 10 and 20 pounds by spending 30 days on a diet consisting largely of semen -- or as she prefers, "man juice."
<@prence_> shit, ill eat my own man-juice if it will help me lose 30 pounds!

#50573 +(340)- [X]

<EviL`J> i had soem 10 year old ask me to cyber the other day
<LordOfSwine> how was it?

#56949 +(34)- [X]

[18:04:13] Nick change [ crashloop CrashFOOD ]
[23:03:48] Nick change [ CrashFOOD Crashloop ]
[23:03:52] ([Binary]) That's a long lunch.
[23:04:25] [Crashloop] it is important to eat proper. :)

#64166 +(4)- [X]

<imbezol> one thing about dvorak though... you never make typos because you're watching the screen all the time and never the keyboard

#70207 +(-80)- [X]

<fnad> damn look at those spaceship quotes plummet on the QDB!
<grongy> SHIT!
<grongy> at this rate I'll never be able to find good nigger quotes again

#76954 +(172)- [X]

<Thorndy> whats the worst geek?
<ashley> the worst possible geeeks know that they are geeks but think they are better than anyone else.
<ashley> watch
<paveway> keep dreaming

#104029 +(397)- [X]

<RedVapor> hearing my dad say "Wow, Tifa's hot." is scarring
<RedVapor> You wanna know what I replied with? "No duh, dad. Funny thing is, I have a better chance witgh someone like that then you do." I was grounded for 2 weeks
<ecco> Yes, you have a better chance with VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS
<ecco> ahaha dork boy

#122901 +(580)- [X]

<michaelr> heh, new zealanders think the aussies are shagging the sheep, and the aussies think the nz'ers are shagging the sheep... quite frankly, i think it's the sheep who are sluts

#137969 +(192)- [X]

<[Max]Kaz> does any1 know if I can extract a bit of a movie without all the files?
<[Max]Kaz> Its p0rn so I dont need all of it

#184655 +(27)- [X]

longislandicedtea: What about New Jersey? It has all the glamour of NYC with half the price
BarbiefromBR: whats in jersey
longislandicedtea: Nothing
longislandicedtea: Toxic waste

#441984 +(97)- [X]

<TIK_> Feck.. my machine just caught fire.. still going tho..
<-- TIK_ has quit (Quit)

#480421 +(756)- [X]

<olik> Jesus was the best pirate of them all.
<olik> He walked the seven seas!
<deathfish> and got nailed to the plank instead of walking it

#510765 +(2074)- [X]

<s3b`> Vegetto: /join #someonewhocares
<s3b`> Oh, look, the channel is empty

#782656 +(397)- [X]

<Sapient> hey guys
<Westovski> Hey Sap, wanna do a knock-knock joke?
<Sapient> err, ok
<Westovski> you start
<Sapient> k
<Sapient> knock knock
<Westovski> who's there?
<Sapient> ...

#783472 +(1385)- [X]

<@Aaron> It's really simple to watch a move, just open the console, and type "
<@Aaron> ffmpeg -i "$(find ~/.mozilla -regex '.*Cache.*' -a -not -regex \
<@Aaron>   '.*_CACHE_.*' -printf '%T+ %p\n' | \
<@Aaron>   sort -n | awk '{ print $2 }' | xargs file | \
<@Aaron>   grep -i "Video" | tail -1 | awk -F : '{ print $1 }')" \
<@Aaron>   -vcodec msmpeg4v2 -b 200 -ab 64 -ar 22050 -s 320x240 \
<@Aaron>   /tmp/video.avi

#785961 +(772)- [X]

<peer`> I cut off gummy bear heads and put them over the LED's on my keybaord
<peer`> now I have glowing gummy bear heads

#820787 +(1297)- [X]

(Andrzej) I had a waking dream about a tsunami once
(Andrzej) except the tsunami was made out of clowns.
(Andrzej) and I was 5
(Andrzej) I didn't sleep that night

#874923 +(877)- [X]

kawiz: being gay would be no problem with me
twins421: ..why
kawiz: its like... digging for water in a different spot in the desert
kawiz: sure, it's different... but you're still not gonna get any
twins421: ...............
twins421: wow
twins421: just ..wow
kawiz: i know
kawiz: i have profound analogies

#950977 +(1012)- [X]

<hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

0.0584 21090 quotes approved; 911 quotes pending
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