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#101 +(134)- [X]

<Fred> isnt bitchx mirc?

#2570 +(798)- [X]

<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"

#2792 +(618)- [X]

<pupkick> 37?
<devinfo> i heard 37 is any 3 digit multiple of 37, when the digits are cyclicly permutated is still divisible by 37, ie: 37*13 = 481, 148/37 = 4, 37*11 = 407, 740/37 = 20, or oddly enough, this works in other bases too... 0x37 * 0x19 = 0x55F. 0xF55 / 0x37 = 0x47, or you sucked 37 dicks?

#4627 +(349)- [X]

<Ear> ARSENIC IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY BECAUSE IT KILLS CHILDREN.
<Khross> YES
<Ear> DEAD BABIES EQUALS PROFIT.
<Khross> LESS MINORITY KIDS = LESS WELFARE
<Khross> MORE PROFIT
<Ear> IT ALSO PROVIDES FREE BACON.
<Khross> YES, OF COURSE

#6810 +(17)- [X]

<Funicide> oh oui oui merci oui oh oui merci
<Funicide> awwwww oui
<Unill> french?
<Funicide> thats the sound of 2 gay dude humping in paris

#7812 +(773)- [X]

<Allen> what about Hall?
<CactusJac> he died
<Mikey316> he was arrested
<Allen> make up your mind..
<CactusJac> He was arrested for dying.

#8681 +(219)- [X]

<Ryk> you know the bottom half of an egg carton? I got me one of those, and cut holes where the eggs sit. I'm gonna take it home tonight, get nekkid, and have my own game of "smack the weasel".

#9329 +(277)- [X]

<@PakiSpice> missy elliot bothers me
<fromtheashes> that video where she wore a garbage bag scared the bejesus outta me
<fromtheashes> im a supa fly, supa dupa fly
<@PakiSpice> yea
<@PakiSpice> i think it left me somewhat scarred
<fromtheashes> why don't you supa dupa fly your fat ass out of a 4th story window
<fromtheashes> and stop giving me nightmares

#9900 +(310)- [X]

<clemmy> DarkFader: warning! reading of this line triggers a hidden routine in your brain and you will forget some of the information stored there
<clemmy> DF: it worked, right?
<Costis> cl, ahahahahahahahaha
<DarkFader> what did work?
<clemmy> DF: I knew it would
<Costis> cl, ahahahaha! good joke :D
<DarkFader> WHAT?

#11339 +(1222)- [X]

(NOTE: The URLs were coloured out with IRC colours, or something ^_^)

<@Saiko> Hello #sqrxz my name is Claudia, I have 36D tits and I am very horny. You can read more about me HERE ----> ( http://goatse.cx http://goatse.cx ) and i also have some nude pictures of me! I also talk about when I had oral sex with my roomate. I'm only 17 and I'm very lonely, pls cum and chat with me!
<@Zinco> Who would be retarded enough to click on a link they could not see?
<Loco-san> HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT!!!!!!

#14623 +(333)- [X]

(_3TS|ZaW): ahh yes...i recall when i first lit my nuts ablaze...it was in chemistry...it said "light the burner." and when i was lighting it, my pants slipped off and my penis flopped over the bunson burner...darndest thing...

#14702 +(238)- [X]

<th0m> i've had cocaine stuck in my ass since then
<PTM> *snort*

#14722 +(42)- [X]

<meatpie> Cuz I'm a mean nasty cruel asshole who wants to make the entire world eat a loaf of his shit while he stands on high and has his schlong adored by a bunch of really hot red heads with bald snatch!!!!!!!!!!!
<dorqus> meatpie: you sound like marilyn manson

#14860 +(681)- [X]

[01:03am] ·ct· last night
[01:03am] ·ct· my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] ·ct· and she walks back in
[01:03am] ·ct· and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] ·ct· and she turns on the light
[01:03am] ·ct· and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] •Necro• ...

#15840 +(1537)- [X]

<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get.

#22124 +(216)- [X]

<Fixxxer> I'm thinking about using Jennifer Connelly's breasts as a setting for an adventure

#23044 +(19)- [X]

<z0rk> why do you want this indian so much?
<acid> i want him as a wallpaper, reminds me of something my gf did tonight

#24893 +(594)- [X]

<VgameT> hahahaha, aol just froze
<Mooseka> VGAME THAT'S LIKE SAYING DROWNING VICTIMS ARE WET

#25503 +(1168)- [X]

<infinitySPZ> Pong is probably the best designed shooter game in the world.
<infinitySPZ> It's the only one that is made so that if you camp, you die.

#27477 +(230)- [X]

* Joins: Julie_ (~warez@63.243.0.98)
Julie_ is ~warez@63.243.0.98 * * I'm to lame to read BitchX.doc *
<jube> Julie_ you're using bitchx and therefore unix.
<jube> that doesnt bode well for your dress size
<Julie_> ha
<jube> prove me wrong in .jpg form

#33801 +(351)- [X]

* Tschech0w tries to phone anyone on site ...
<Tschech0w> ah.
<Tschech0w> oh.
<Tschech0w> ugh.
<RichiH> Tschech0w: the telephone attacking you?
<Phoon> sounds like it's raping him
<Isle> ohhhh
<RichiH> bringing phone sex to a whole new level

#34043 +(550)- [X]

<CYwolf> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and hang a little curtain

#35764 +(261)- [X]

<Celestar> They have found an enourmous security hole in Microsofts VPN implementation on all Win2000 and WinXP versions
<RichiH> Celestar: did they have enough free space on the bug list to add it?

#37077 +(150)- [X]

<trunck> i miss the times when i had my 2 dumps
<trunck> didn't need to go anywhere
<trunck> had everything in 2 ftps
<trunck> 100+k
<trunck> download
<trunck> now i suck
* Nec unzips his pants
<Nec> go ahead

#38145 +(1105)- [X]

<dbanks> does anyone know what DS would mean if someone said "you are DS"
<@kellogs> <dbanks>: you are a dumb shit
<dbanks> fuck you, i come in here asking for someeno to hepl me and you abuse me fuckin cunt
*** Parts: dbanks (banksey@138.21.122.92)
<petey> lol dumbass
*** Joins: dbanks (banksey@138.21.122.92)
<dbanks> oh shit i just got what you meant sorry
*** kellogs sets mode: +b *!*@138.21.122.92
*** dbanks was kicked by kellogs (banned: whoever said that about you was right)

#39702 +(169)- [X]

* PuffinFreshWog munches on the contents of a huge viagra bottle
<PuffinFreshWog> guess what
<HyperHorse> what?
<PuffinFreshWog> i'm not typing with my hands right now
<HyperHorse> whatwhatwhatwhat?
<PuffinFreshWog> :o)
<PuffinFreshWog> you don't want to know how i hold down shift

#43808 +(484)- [X]

<bigboss> I just got a popup ad that used the ms voice agent thing to talk to me.
<bigboss> It was like stephen hawking selling me mutual funds.

#44983 +(12)- [X]

<eDRoaCH-nothere> akuma noticed me
<Nariz> "noticed" you? so you were hiding and he saw your big ass behind the curtians?
<Nariz> you should never hide behind the curtians
<Nariz> i've tried it before, it doesn't work...
Nariz was kicked by eDRoaCH-nothere (/notice Nariz ur an idiot)

#58997 +(639)- [X]

<Peter> My brother got a $1500 car deck for $6.58 today.
<kaliyama> Was that the cost of the crowbar and ski mask?

#74700 +(761)- [X]

<XorioN> o
<XorioN> o/
<XorioN> /o/
<DummeGaas> Heh
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
<DummeGaas> It's fun to stay at the
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o

#75651 +(378)- [X]

KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office manager please(very gruff voice)
KArmA-: me: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?
KArmA-: me: no asshole, I said, who do you think you're talking to, with that tone of voice
KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like that
KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak to your office manager.
KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so special?
KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?!?
KArmA-: me: *click*

#76899 +(164)- [X]

<iconc1ast> my rhymes are fatter than the average irc girl

#81070 +(311)- [X]

<cyo> everytime i try to tell my parents that i have a girlfriend they start to walk away
<cyo> i swear they want me to be gay or something

#89980 +(270)- [X]

<HungSolo> goin with xp
<HungSolo> never done linux so i dont wanna screw around with somethin i know nothin about
<Nemephosis> like girls?
<tdh> LOL

#90174 +(914)- [X]

< hunterr83> my penis is this big: 8========================================================D
< Pokute> That's fewer than 6 inches on my screen, man.
< Pokute> and your balls are tiny
< Pokute> I don't even know what's going on with your head, there.
< Pokute> It's all out of proportion
< Pokute> you should see a doctor

#98015 +(371)- [X]

<`Riku> nighty night, don't let the bed bugs bite your head clean off and shit into your neck.

#105643 +(329)- [X]

* Dr_Dos|KLONE has joined #zeuxworld
<Revvy> OH NOS
<Dr_Dos|KLONE> How do I kill on esper?
<EvilMario> ghost?
<Revvy> msg nickserv kill
<Dr_Dos|KLONE> I guess.
<Zenholder> /quit <nick> <password>
<Dr_Dos|KLONE> ok
* Dr_Dos has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
* Dr_Dos|KLONE has quit IRC (Quit: Dr_Dos censored)
<EvilMario> Hahah.
<Zenholder> :D
<EvilMario> You're the best, sir.
* Dr_Dos has joined #zeuxworld
<Zenholder> :P
<Zenholder> Did it work?
<Dr_Dos> heh
<Dr_Dos> Yes
<Zenholder> Good
* Dr_Dos has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by EvilMario)))
<Zenholder> :D
<EvilMario> Excellent.
* Dr_Dos has joined #zeuxworld
<Dr_Dos> That's not right...
<EvilMario> You fool.
<EvilMario> Mwahah.. I mean.. HIIII

#144827 +(244)- [X]

* punxy has joined #emo
<punxy> hi all
<_John> hi
<_John> do you have a vagina?
* punxy has quit IRC (Read error: No route to host)
<_John> asking people if they have a vagina is a new h4x0ring technique to crash people boxes

#144901 +(20)- [X]

<digitok> which finger does a marriage/engagement ring go on a chick?
<taco_boy> left

#161834 +(346)- [X]

•Fileman• i slept like a baby last night
•DuFF• suckin your thumb and shittin the bed?

#221002 +(256)- [X]

<TKD-Azmodeux> I'm embezzling all the clan funds into jerkin's hand lotion.
<TKD-Strider> Why do you need that?
<TKD-Azmodeux> ...Yes...why indeed...

#239650 +(254)- [X]

<drangdloon> I work on my knees 8-10 hours a day..
<drangdloon> get your minds out of the gutter
<drangdloon> i am a flooring contractor

#267317 +(1437)- [X]

* Bobber lights up the crack pipe and takes a hit
* Bobber passes it to Jesus
* Jesus takes a hit
<Jesus> Argh, my dad is gonna KILL me

#408649 +(1408)- [X]

(Chimerasame): I HAVE COMBINED TWO JAPANESE WORDS TO CREATE A MASTERPIECE OF HORRIFYING PROPORTIONS
(Chimerasame): seppukakke.

#560932 +(384)- [X]

<ckoo> haha some lady asked me where she could get headphones so I told her "the source"  aka radioshack.   She walked outside,  turned,  and walked straight toward "SOURCE adult video"
<reaper> Ahahahah!

#755062 +(399)- [X]

Zedian: D&D Monopoly
Pregga Zexas: "I land at Wallstreet Avenue and roll a critical hit so all of the orcs in your hotels die."

#780779 +(609)- [X]

<wretched> I started doing crystal meth for the weight loss, now I just enjoy stealing cars...

#808898 +(593)- [X]

<danly> 'cause you know, behind every nympho-elf there's a 40 year old man living in his parent's basement just hoping you’ll make a pass at him so he can initiate cybersex.
<Xore> many 40 year old men are better at cybersex as nympho-elves than most nympho-elves
<danly> That's strangely insightful and revolting at the same time

#903821 +(1258)- [X]

<StanM> Pussy is like MP3s
<StanM> For every one who pays for it, theres thousands more getting it for free.

#914142 +(196)- [X]

*** pipes changed the topic of kiwicon to: - Kiwicon marketing
        department back in action!
< rauc> good topic
< pipes> many people in here will know what that means ;)
< rauc> ok...I do not really know what it means, but I am glad to see
        Kiwicon run again. Let me know if I can help
< pipes> rauc: first time we did kiwicon
< pipes> no one wrote any stories
< pipes> so we wrote our own
< pipes> and kind of xss'd em into major news sites

0.0663 21047 quotes approved; 295 quotes pending
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