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#833 +(919)- [X]

<timmo> i got a lego fetish whats it to ya?
<iMike-> damn norwegian toy companies
<McMoo> it's danish
<iMike-> what the hell is that
<iMike-> danland?

#1827 +(485)- [X]

(V_Audax) flip da flop da boing floygan
(d-_-b) v_audax has been possessed by the spirit of cosby~!?~@

#2379 +(52)- [X]

(rageboy) id tell you to put my box in the topic so i could sell shells but its not static ip and only 28.8 connection
(rageboy) and im in windows right now

#4372 +(984)- [X]

<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis

#6998 +(231)- [X]

<enojy> im gonna tell my parents im a father so i get a present on sunday

#7316 +(49)- [X]

<alisia> I'm fat
<dave> you're not fat you fat ass

#8293 +(137)- [X]

<sarahlee> got hooked on those stupid video chatrooms
<deepcut> the kind where you see old guys jacking off into a sock and stuff ? :\

#8628 +(118)- [X]

<FactsOfLife> wasn't linux a peanuts character?
<FactsOfLife> yeah linux, the kid who carried a blankie to keep the bad guys away...
<FactsOfLife> yeah yeah, linux, short kid, charlie brown's friend...

#8735 +(597)- [X]

<arfmcbarf> i'm gonna teach you a lesson you wont soon forget
<arfmcbarf> i.e., how to integrate ln x from 0 to infinity
<arfmcbarf> first you get the antiderivitive
<arfmcbarf> of ln(x)
<arfmcbarf> i.e., 1/x
<arfmcbarf> then i forget the rest

#8983 +(69)- [X]

<RPG> Grrr
<RPG> Whenever I need someone, they are not to be found.
<scar3crow> i must be around a lot

#9304 +(1623)- [X]

<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance.  Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid.  Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes.  Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder.  An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great".  Is it anthrax?

#21147 +(30)- [X]

<soimafrea> missing a that i think blood
<BloodNose> ?
<soimafrea> you dont know THAT much about me to tell
<blender> what blood said works fine
<soimafrea> i know but the grahmmer was appouling .
<blender> bahaha

#23390 +(293)- [X]

<klerck> I think they should build an airport at the WTC site so the planes can't miss the runway next time

#25503 +(1168)- [X]

<infinitySPZ> Pong is probably the best designed shooter game in the world.
<infinitySPZ> It's the only one that is made so that if you camp, you die.

#36782 +(471)- [X]

<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all the people around the world who work in any form of customer reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so people will never have to deal with completely retarded customers again.

#37120 +(72)- [X]

quits: ReD_JaCk (john@mask-29052.intrstar.net) (Quit: Errection killed by beer)

#37558 +(265)- [X]

<HandiKap23> Man, I am completely in love with this girl and I don't even know her name. 
<uk55> hmmm, is it Sarah ?
<HandiKap23> I told you I dunno her name
<uk55> what about Tanya?
<HandiKap23> shut up man, I really need your serious advice on this one.
<uk55> is it Lisa, or Betty,  what about Nora, Catherine is possible, hey maybe its Barbara, yeah Barbara, definitely Barbara- I think it is Barbara
<HandiKap23> you are an asshole
*** Quits: HandiKap23

#41202 +(116)- [X]

--> cue_ball (~que_impor@a66b91n118client144.hawaii.rr.com) has joined #WOPN
<cue_ball> does anyone know a channel on any server where they trade books?
<Han_Skywalker> nope, not me
<^_sdh_^> book warez heh
<cue_ball> any ideas on what server to look?
<CKH> cue_ball: i hear amazon.com is setting up a irc channel for book warez
<cue_ball> ok thanx

#48206 +(1954)- [X]

<spil0ink> is it pronounced live or live?
<Shit_Pifter> live
<spil0ink> thanks
<Shit_Pifter> np

#48736 +(115)- [X]

<G[a]lly> i'd like to download virtual valerie
<decryption> lol
<decryption> ive downloaded that
<decryption> hahah
<decryption> its crazy
<decryption> does a strip to the mp3 your listening to
<pancakes> what is it?
<G[a]lly> really?
<G[a]lly> i thought you had to try and get her off with a virtual dildo..
<decryption> ohhh..
<decryption> well this one aint
<G[a]lly> I'll give it a go anyway
<decryption> but that one sounds much more interesting
<G[a]lly> and how!
<decryption> virtual dildo.. need i say more?
<G[a]lly> mate's dad has it on his computer, i was kinda freaked out, but didn't play it in case he has a high score and i accidentally break it and he finds out

#49191 +(426)- [X]

<mikebwork> but, lets say she asked me.. "do you ever have fantasies about
            girls that are petit"
<mikebwork> id' have to answer..
<mikebwork> "on occasion, yes. but not because they are petit."
<sh-> i'd say something like "yes, but occasionally i fantasize about having
      sex with a horse, while a young mexican boy takes pictures, so it's
      nothing you have to be insecure about"
<sh-> but not everyone is as suave as me

#49347 +(58)- [X]

<Upth> did you know that the plastic used to make the keyboard keys warps when it gets wet and dries off?
<ChryoZach> Nope.
<Upth> my keys are beginning to wrinkle from sheer skin moisture.
<ChryoZach> And now I've learned something today.
<Upth> a bunch of the keys you can't even read anymore.
<ChryoZach> I don't know whether to laugh or feel really bad.  Wow.  This place really has made me numb.

#50115 +(17)- [X]

<Lagamuffin> 1280x1024 32bit ->60Hz<- That sucks xpert
<Lagamuffin> you should fix that to atleast 85Hz
<weapon01> lol
<weapon01> overclock your monitor!!!!!!!!

#50729 +(23)- [X]

<Justn> I cant wait till the summer i'll be working out so much... I'm gonna be ripped!
<Ian_540> maybe working out will give you big muscles, but it won't make your small dick any bigger

#51861 +(490)- [X]

<Red_Sky> It must have been a slow newsday. The headline for today's paper is 'Suicide Bomber Killed'.

#66208 +(460)- [X]

<Firemoth> Weird, My cat's got conjunctivitis in one of his eyes and i have to put like a jell type cream on his eye. He doesn't mind me puting it on there one bit, He just sits back and lets me squeeze it on. Doesn't flinch or anything.
<Agg> dude, he's been dead for 2 weeks now.

#69709 +(46)- [X]

*** Quits: Columbia (Connection reset by atmosphere)

#76628 +(407)- [X]

<Kinsy> my gf thought i was a raging paedo friday
<Kinsy> i said i was taking photos of 15 year olds
<Aries> i wonder why shed get suspicious
<Kinsy> i forgot to tell her i was taking photos of her mates little sister who was 15 and was out on the piss
<Aries> ....
<Aries> and you were taking photos because?
<Kinsy> because we were wasted and were having fun
<Aries> with 15 year olds?
<Aries> you were drunk, having 'fun' taking photos of 15 year olds?
<Aries> how does that NOT sound wrong in your head kins?

#79660 +(678)- [X]

<Shrike> those lesbians
<Shrike> is there anything they won't do
<Guardian_Latino> fuck men?

#80915 +(1416)- [X]

<seph429> okay my uncles neighbor needed help with her computer (shes hot++) so i said yea i'd help
<seph429> and i was installing windows xp on it and she was in the shower, so i went to watch tv
<seph429> about 20 minutes later she walks in the livingroom completely naked
<seph429> and is like OH SHIT I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE!
<Incubus1n> lol
<seph429> and all that came out of my mouth was woot! :(
<seph429> i live a sad life

#82149 +(125)- [X]

@soul|FL: porn is because too many women say no
<Dyn|work> porn is because too many women say no... to soul
<nikky> no soul not even if you paid me
<soul|FL> what if i paid you a lot

#84878 +(260)- [X]

<@|-ZenitH-|> cow
<@|-ZenitH-|> I been on many travels
<@|-ZenitH-|> but today
<@|-ZenitH-|> I saw a guy in a wheelchair try to play D.D.R
<@|-ZenitH-|> as I walked from my bus to the train station passing the local brisbane city arcade
<@|-ZenitH-|> The people surrounding him were thinking the same thing cow :P
<@|-ZenitH-|> many tried to hide it
<@|-ZenitH-|> since I was just walking past I felt it was my duty to laugh out loud.

#103558 +(290)- [X]

<@GeNOc|DE> damn i wanna bone the lead singer of evanescence
<@eught> what does she looks like?
<@GeNOc|DE> sex

#117002 +(9132)- [X]

* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #

#136763 +(403)- [X]

<GD[IceCream]> brb, eating ice cream and blueberries. ^_^
<The_Ayatollah> blueberries piss me off
<The_Ayatollah> if you step on one, they're not even friggin' blue
<The_Ayatollah> lying bastard fruits

#138640 +(345)- [X]

<Insomniak> so anyways
<Insomniak> I had just got back from a school camping trip
<Insomniak> and I had a school tent being kept in a black garbage bag
<Insomniak> i had to return it that morning
<Insomniak> i was running late
<Insomniak> so I pick up a black bag and go to school
<Insomniak> and later in the day, my Outdor Ed teacher comes up to me
<Insomniak> "do you know what was in that bag you brought me?"
<Insomniak> me: "uh, a tent?"
<Insomniak> "no"
<Insomniak> "soiled diapers"
<Insomniak> i had brought the wrong bag

#155516 +(375)- [X]

<Nastard> i like phonics
<Nastard> one might even go so far as to say i'm hooked on them

#217761 +(456)- [X]

DinjackPD: so I'm studying for my history final
DinjackPD: And there's this old WW2 propaganda poster
DinjackPD: Of this guy driving along alone with an outline of hitler next to him
DinjackPD: And the title is
DinjackPD: isn't that contradicting?
Jahman98: hahahahah
Jahman98: yeah
Jahman98: that's great stuff
DinjackPD: 'When you ride alone, you ride ALONE, however you do use up valuable gas that is intended for the war effort and thus make it easier for the Nazis to win. You Jew hating BASTARD.'

#230727 +(577)- [X]

[@cwatford] i really do need to write my childrens books
[@cwatford] i plan on scaring children shitless about common programming errors
[@Entrope] "jane thought overrunning buffers was great fun until the exploit monster bit off her head!"

#281263 +(841)- [X]

<CloneGamer> dude
<CloneGamer> i just went to put this tape on and its at the bottom of the pile right..
<CloneGamer> so in true table cloth style i yanked it out swiftly
<CloneGamer> also in true table cloth style, it went miserably wrong and like 15 tapes landed on my head
<CloneGamer> and like then my mum come in, wondering wtf the commotion was
<CloneGamer> and like, i was also like a little 'uncovered' cus i was 'polishing'
<CloneGamer> and i see the door move and see her face and covered myself up but my balls were still showing
<CloneGamer> she just looks at me, looks down, looks at the tape, rolls her eyes and walks off
<CloneGamer> i tell you, i aint leaving my room for days :'(

#303329 +(727)- [X]

<[X]> What the fuck? Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter "Apple". What the fuck is it with celebrities naming their kids weird shit?
<Alex> I'm gonna name my kid Strawberries
<bobik-> Alex, you a dumbass
<Schwert> the kid will kill you ,Alex
<Alex> true :(
<[X]> It could be worse... when I was two or so, and living on an Air Force Base in Utah there was a family living on base whose last name was Cane. Their daughters were Sugar, Candy, and Nova.

#389514 +(734)- [X]

<Quasadu> i'm the kind of guy who, when i accidentally see myself naked in the mirror, i think "my god if i saw that in the woods i'd shoot it and run back to the car"

#518696 +(2419)- [X]

<RustySpoon> Hahaha... I just came back from Phlanges girlfriend.
<Phloam> Wtf were you doing there? ffs man have some respect
<RustySpoon> Let\'s just say she was glad to see me
* Phlange is now afk
<RustySpoon> fuck when did he log on?

#616895 +(2729)- [X]

[translated from German]
<MuschiExpress> kater are you there?
<KoolerKater> yeah
<MuschiExpress> What kind of spaz are you?
<KoolerKater> what's up?
<MuschiExpress> You were supposed to burn my holiday videos on DVD for my wife
<MuschiExpress> NOT your porn collection ffs
<KoolerKater> omg wait a minute... you said you wanted the holiday stuff and that porn
<MuschiExpress> Yes, but on TWO, in numbers, 2, you understand, TWO DVDs!!!
<KoolerKater> ...

#625276 +(899)- [X]

{RainmakeR}: fuck I'm a retard
{RainmakeR}: I was trying to use windows magnifier to enlarge the dead pixel area to look at it better
{RainmakeR}: i had it open for like 5 seconds, then like "wait a minute... "

#670375 +(16064)- [X]

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

#670911 +(874)- [X]

<Sic> I seen a story about a guy who took the horse cock up the ass but it was angled so it pushed in all the way, he died from internal bleeding.. There was a whole video. :p
<LLora> your ass is designed for poop
<LLora> not for horse cock
<antek> i wonder what the last thing going through his head was

#702658 +(1275)- [X]

Yogo: i hate stupid people!!!!!
Yogo: stood in the queue at a self service checkout
Yogo: guy infront scans a bottle of milk and looks at the screen, a message pops up and an automated voice say "please place item in bagging area"
Yogo: he looks at the screen, then tries to scan the item again
Yogo: and again, "please place item in bagging area"
Yogo: so his wife looks all confused, grabs the milk and....
Yogo: tries to fucking scan it again!!
Yogo: i was almost in tears
Yogo: i think these machines should be build so if it has to tell you what to do 3 times a small arm should pop out and remove that persons reproductive organs!

#739936 +(5206)- [X]

<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some shit
<Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit
<Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
<Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers"
<Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola

#921144 +(1196)- [X]

bp: how did my collar get popped
bp: srsly my neck felt weird so i felt it and my collar was popped without any physical intervention from me
esch: you have a douchebag poltergeist

0.0644 21057 quotes approved; 2120 quotes pending
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