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#408 +(132)- [X]

<EviL_Dr_BounCe> Heh ya moms got one tooth in her mouth and she snaps holes into doughnuts for a living....

#1175 +(95)- [X]

<Loser> i just got an idea
<Loser> i bet noone's done this before
<Loser> get like 100 guys to come into a bottle
<Loser> and then pay a chick to drink it
<AlmtyBob> Loser: um, that's what bukkake is all about
<ryo-ohki> I have videos to prove it.
<ryo-ohki> We're talking like a fucking clear saucer FULL of spooge
<ryo-ohki> Like, she could pour some cereal on it and still not have enough cereal to finish the jizz off.

#1833 +(648)- [X]

<fileface> can someone help me with my IDENTIFY, i forgot my pass
<fileface> any opers alive?
<cd> me
<cd> type: /quit i am gay
<fileface> Y?
<cd> cos it will fix your password
<cd> it will set it to 'iamanidiot'
  quits fileface (Thug4life@c47s127h6.upc.chello.no) (Quit: i am gay ~{Polaris IRC}~ v2.04)

#2394 +(491)- [X]

<McMoo> but then last year the sermon like a week before christmas was like 'CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT PRESENTS - OUR ONE TRUE PRESENT IS JESUS CHRIST!!!'
<McMoo> my dad didn't even get my mom anything
<McMoo> she was pissed.

#2887 +(522)- [X]

<McMoo> those presents are wrapped like motherfuckers.
<McMoo> like very thoroughly wrapped motherfuckers.

#3240 +(560)- [X]

* RatWork hands Matt^^^ the cluephone
(RatWork) it's for you

#5671 +(260)- [X]

<KeeperS> is Jedi Knight 2 more sexy than me?
<Tsunamio> Yes
<Sivako|Morrowind> especially if you have the nude patch

#7483 +(237)- [X]

<Chrizto> 6 irc channels, 7 mailing lists, and not a damn thing is going on

#7963 +(144)- [X]

<Vhata> #linux is one of those...
<Vhata> things
<Vhata> what do you call a project that is no longer being maintained?
<Nimnod> a failure.
<Vhata> heh

#9490 +(78)- [X]

<avalach_> "not even i", that is so arrogant and deluded. "look at me, i'm so pretty, it's a MIRACLE i've not been raped yet!"

#9665 +(756)- [X]

<d4d5d6>anyone interested in beta testing a virus that i just compiled?
<|89|> hell yeah
I Have Finished Sending File virus01.exe to |89|
<d4d5d6> open it
|89| has quit IRC (quit: computer - dead)
<d4d5d6> haha what a tool

#12143 +(350)- [X]

<PrincessLeia2> he's not my step dad, he's my mother's new husband
<PrincessLeia2> that way i can say that my stepbrother that i dated isnt really my stepbrother

#12303 +(517)- [X]

<baldurk> btw, happy independance day!!
<baldurk> although in england we call it thanksgiving day

#21830 +(322)- [X]

<MrSaturn> <Sergo_k> so you say that you r a good player in CS
<MrSaturn> <MrSaturn> Yes.
<MrSaturn> <MrSaturn> I am l33t beyond all mortal comprehension.
<Sergo_k> no way man
<MrSaturn> Yes.
<Sergo_k> i think you talk bvetter than pley
<Sergo_k> i think you talk bvetter than play
<MrSaturn> I certainly hope you play better than you talk

#31165 +(398)- [X]

truthug17: so u have a man
Cassandra: Oh yes.
truthug17: do u love him
Cassandra: I do.
truthug17: could u love me
Cassandra: I might. But I'd never sleep with you, so I guess it doesn't matter.

#31632 +(320)- [X]

<CreepingDeath> what was that other guy
<CreepingDeath> during WWII
<CreepingDeath> he was in charge of the concentration camps
<CreepingDeath> argh can't remember his name
<Malek> colonel klink?

#33586 +(319)- [X]

<daenonok> i remember this one time, like two years ago my girlfriend (at the time) was trying to learn me...somethen, i wasn't really paying attention, but she said
<daenonok> 'if barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours'
<daenonok> after like a minute of thinking i was like 'that seems like icing on the cake'

#33939 +(576)- [X]

<Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
<Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half of a black man if you know what I'm saying
<Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while the bottom half does nothing?

#36737 +(188)- [X]

<Althorrat> Sean and Dan provided communion wafers as refreshments. They got them surplus off eBay.
<Althorrat> mmm... surplus Christ.
<Asshead9000> heh. were they the good ones or the papery ones?
<Althorrat> to be honest, I didn't try them.
<Asshead9000> who won the debate?
<Althorrat> (considers saying, "Jesus always leaves a bad taste in my mouth", but doesn't)

#43348 +(34)- [X]

<[RUA]WoRm|`gayNINJA`> wtf did u do on a mac
<[RUA]Mibby> look at porn
<[RUA]Mibby> porn is all their is
<[RUA]Mibby> not like there are games
<[RUA]WoRm|`gayNINJA`> and since it was a mac, its only capable of gay porn
<[RUA]Mibby> hahah
<[RUA]Mibby> yea

#44938 +(43)- [X]

<StoneColdSpider> YAY IM FINALY BACK ON FFS!!!!!
<k> worst 5 mins of your life eh scs
<k> you missed
<k> [16:30] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has joined #NV
<k> [16:35] *** Spazz (Spazz@210.49.208.***) has left #NV
<k> ;p

#46858 +(591)- [X]

<CHAT Phut>  I'm a rebel.
<CHAT Phut>  Yesterday, I crossed the street and I only looked TO THE LEFT!
<CHAT Phut>  (you are supposed to look both ways)

#47044 +(178)- [X]

<+PrincessKristen> --Thanks for the Voice, Magestryn--  Hvly ddo
<+neotek> --Thanks for the making IRC a gayer place to be, Hvly ddo--

#54009 +(217)- [X]

<rh-Raz_w3rk> if im not married by the time im 30, im going to slaughter a newly married couple
<rh-Raz_w3rk> i like to set goals for myself

#56122 +(107)- [X]

<Comrade_90> any one have the new "best of nirvana" album?
<`2L> best of nirvana?
<`2L> whats that?
<`2L> 74 minutes of silence from just after when Kurt died?

#57017 +(133)- [X]

Legion Kreinak: The world's so fuckin' politically correct these days. Before you know it, we'll be required to call black & white cookies african american & caucasian cookies!
Dragon Phoenix: I could just see that on crayons...

#84711 +(121)- [X]

<@Chimerasame> pancake bukkake :9
<@Chimerasame> it's just syrup from a bunch of aunt jemima bottles

#104226 +(121)- [X]

* Gandalf should answer the phones at work with a different song lyric each time
<Gandalf> "I'm the operator with my pocket calculator. May I please have your U* IT Name?"
<ai> I just want to answer the phone "Fuck you, this is Ben, how can I help you?"
<Gandalf> heh :)
<ai> "I'd like to file a claim."  "Miss Scarlet, I don't know *nothin'* bout birthin' no babies!"

#106531 +(124)- [X]

<isosceles> remove your pants and do the roast beef dance

#107538 +(226)- [X]

<InvisableMan> with the new P4s and the amd opteron...
<Wish> Apple getting bashed everywhere :)
<InvisableMan> apple is the chick at the bukakke party

#124854 +(384)- [X]

<shiwan> Geez, can't a guy mention Janet Reno on Margaret Thatcher strap-on porn and not empty a channel?

#179036 +(1027)- [X]

<Ghoulem> I think Grand Theft Auto 3 gives a wrong impression of how the world really is.
<Eclipse> Because of all the violence?
<Ghoulem> No, Because of all the black people driving Ferraris.

#187930 +(627)- [X]

Flint62704: Maybe someone should invent floating point D&D
Flint62704: Roll a d[1,6]
Flint62704: I got 4.4546347578554!
Flint62704: Sorry, he still has 0.000002425 hp left
Flint62704: You lose

#217728 +(414)- [X]

<Onux> [Onux PING reply]: 2mins 48secs
<Onux> =(
<rich> man
<rich> i could probably drive out to you
<rich> say something
<rich> and drive back to peoria
<rich> and it'd be faster than if i typed it here

#231033 +(226)- [X]

[hehohno] I really swear rev is a music columnist.
[hehohno] You have that bitter, "radiohead is ok, if you like rehashed pink floyd tracks" feel about you.

#247834 +(309)- [X]

ArgosBM : hell, i think i modong protty good for typihg whting my eyes closed
ArgosBM : ...or not...

#274037 +(8)- [X]

* Sabdo listens to Meat Loaf - Atkins? I FUCKING ATE HIM

#352050 +(255)- [X]

twentydeadbodies: Now that you're gay you should be picking up all sorts of chicks.
Staticd00r: lol

#449314 +(1388)- [X]

<knobboy> I hate physics
<knobboy> Having to learn all this crap about wave and frequency is killing me
<knobboy> Some might even say it Mhz

#458436 +(858)- [X]

SherbyCool: not tuesday
exeblah: ok
exeblah: um
SherbyCool: tuesday the world ends
exeblah: wednesday?

#566576 +(1256)- [X]

<Shinji> good thing my microphone converts text two words! i never half too worry about some won beeting me two the punchlime.

#674850 +(720)- [X]

<drev> how was your weekend?
<LaDyLoVe> amazing! my friends threw a surprise party for my birthday :)
<drev> fuck the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party was a fucking intervention

#715026 +(496)- [X]

<Apoc|Sharger> how do you masturbate when a blind man is watching you?
<Apoc|Sharger> quietly.

#726333 +(833)- [X]

MasterH: They should make the entire world follow the same timezone. They could have like orbital mirrors which reflect the sun to every corner of the earth.,
MasterH: And have night at the same time.
Faethyr: And nightime would happen How?
MasterH: Turn off the mirorrs

#736323 +(426)- [X]

<%kastein> jack be nimble, jack be quick... I'm not an asshat so I'm not gonna finish this line
<%spock1104> jack be nimble, jack be quick, jacks a pedo and touched a young chick
<+Chronojam> She tripped, fell, landed on his dick; isn't that right Jack
<+Chronojam> Jack be nimble, Jack be quick; she tripped and fell, woke up on his dick
<+Jack> hey they're cute what do you want from me

#736856 +(57)- [X]

<+Dave2> myspace valentines messages.
<+Dave2> that sentence is 66% evil
<+Dave2> that is all

#743428 +(2326)- [X]

culturejammer: you know what pennies are AWESOME for?
culturejammer: throwing at cats
culturejammer: it only costs a single penny
culturejammer: and they'll either chase it, or get hit by it and look pissed off
culturejammer: i now use that system to value prices of things
culturejammer: for example, a thirty dollar game has to be at least as awesome as three thousand catpennies

#779288 +(4408)- [X]

<TRG> so, my mom was putting in her CD with church pics but it wouldn't work on her computer
<TRG> so she put it in mine
<TRG> now, the last thing I watched on windows media player was hardcore lesbian porn
<TRG> that got into the action right away
<TRG> so my mom puts in the cd into my computer
<TRG> opens up windows media players
<TRG> and the porn starts playing
<TRG> and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh fuck"
<TRG> but then...
<TRG> she goes berserk
<TRG> she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!!"
<TRG> and she took out a HAMMER
<TRG> and smashed the fucking CD
<TRG> it was the best thing ever
<TRG> not only was I completely off the hook
<TRG> you have to love the awesome displays of religious apeshit
<TRG> I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on this earth to entertain us

#809241 +(697)- [X]

<Clyve> God... I swear this is the only place on the net with any intelligence whatsoever.
<That_RPG_Guy> It is silly for a woman to go to a male gynecologist. It is like going to an auto mechanic who has never even owned his own car.
<Clyve> Well, if I didn't just put my foot in my mouth.

#954171 +(286)- [X]

<Cob|afk>: fellows
<Cob|afk>: let's chill
<Cob|afk>: and be friends
<jasper>: why
<Cob|afk>: because i'll fucking stab you if you don't

0.0667 21065 quotes approved; 839 quotes pending
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