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#322 +(465)- [X]

<sean> Stop adding 2+2! it has taken me five years to develop 2+2, and you "geeks and hackers" are destroying my work!

#558 +(110)- [X]

<@xvize> xwin is like an os

#624 +(719)- [X]

<MadHatter> sjkdfkl;'
<Jingoro`> hatters snorting off his keyboard again

#1484 +(2313)- [X]

(SiNs-) $1,599.99
(SiNs-) $1,599.70
(SiNs-) Save $0.29
(SiNs-) wow
(SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut

#1580 +(418)- [X]

<no_soul> i snorted Ajax
<no_soul> i almost died

#2115 +(334)- [X]

<opivy-z28> I'm being totally serious... do any of you ever see like a 9-12 yr old girl and think she has nice legs
<opivy-z28> i do...and i wonder if thats normal

#7395 +(79)- [X]

<@BondAway> i better get to work
<@IceWizard> heh
<@BondAway> i need someone o administer me an hourly dose of cocaine at work, but i dont know any secretaries, and i dont know if my boss would buy 'its sinus medicine
<@BondAway> and then drive me home

#8394 +(349)- [X]

<crazymaninvan> boobs on the life channel!
<Spamalope> What species?

#8644 +(256)- [X]

<Wehrwolf> From CNN: "Sci Tech / Featured Sections : Is VHS obsolete?"
<SD-Crono> this is a followup to thier Future of Gaming E3 2002 report with a Dreamcast picture ... nice ^^
<Wehrwolf> Maybe their sci-tech guy is some 90 year old who lives in the woods

#10915 +(545)- [X]

<McEi8th> God damn it
<McEi8th> I walked in on my mom last night sucking off my dad and I saw his dong
<McEi8th> It was pretty sick
<Pozzi> Dude that wasn't your dad...
* Pozzi runs

#12864 +(143)- [X]

<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."

#13077 +(1470)- [X]

corner (19:08:21): how tall is a standard guillotine?
Andrick (19:08:33): This still concerns you?
corner (19:08:39): yeah, I really want to build one
corner (19:08:47): I have short ceilings
corner (19:08:51): I wanna make sure I can keep it in my apt
Andrick (19:09:00): I have to admit that I never have committed that number to memory.
Andrick (19:09:06): But I can tell you they are *tall*.
corner (19:09:15): maybe I can make a kid's version?
Andrick (19:09:30): That is probably a wonderfully poor choice of words.

#14257 +(735)- [X]

<@ScuzleBut> I was an athiest until I realized I was God.

#14509 +(1035)- [X]

<Joe> Who invented l33t-speak?
<Evil_Lawn_Gnome> Joe, I did.
<milencho880> i invented it
<Joe> Really? Good. I always wanted to meet the world's biggest fucking idiots.

#15031 +(888)- [X]

<Whoever>So I'm sitting at the lunch table with mostly girls and the conversation wanders about the usual subjects.
<Whoever>Eventually someone say the word "Jizz" And that goody goody girl with the 4.0 GPA and who is very sweet and innocent says, "whats jizz?"
<Whoever>Silence and muffled laughter ensues, one of the girls says "Its something guys do."
<Whoever>So she says "...oh... okay.."
<Whoever>Next period, english class, miss clueless raises her hand.
<Whoever>"Excuse me, can I go to the Lav, I have to Jizz."

#21354 +(1708)- [X]

<Beerman> I demand random linkage! link me to strange things, and entertain me
<tate> http://www.goatse.cx/
<ecs> i was just gunna say that...
<Beerman> my word, whats wrong with that mans bottom?

#23394 +(171)- [X]

<Silhouette> Thats sad, i screwed up while writing a note to myself and looked all over for the undo button

#34220 +(90)- [X]

-!- Maxx-Gothic [Maxx_Gothi@ubju.lekc.rikn.uoap.this.chat.server] has quit [(signed off)]
<@PrincessLeia2> i keep thinking that guy's nick is Mexx-Gothic
<@PrincessLeia2> you can imagine what type of images that produces o_O

#34301 +(193)- [X]

*** Quits: Espresso (my sister is a bitch and needs this computer because her homework is already saved on it)
<^Pa|Busy^> I think all words after "bitch" were probably unnecessary.

#34458 +(610)- [X]

<drdink> blue used to be such a nice color
<drdink> now it means "FUCK IT BROKE"

#34660 +(88)- [X]

<DentArthur> i took it a step further with the super glue in mouth incident :)
<milenko17> DentArthur: it could be worse you could superglue your foreskin together
<DentArthur> milenko17: it'd keep my KB cleaner :)

#36712 +(77)- [X]

*** Soze-AWAY is now known as Soze
* Soze is back -( Doin' stuff. )- gone 2 hr 46 min 26 s
<Al_Koholic> Jesus
<Al_Koholic> that was a long masturbation session
<Soze> It's fucking raw... luckily, the blood can be used as lube.

#36731 +(161)- [X]

<C4ndl3s> I'm Back
<DirtyMexican> oh god no!
<DirtyMexican> bye
* Quits: DirtyMexican (DirtyMexic@CPE-144-132-225-105.nsw.bigpond.net.au) (Quit: )
<BenZor> rofl
<BenZor> i needed to talk to him too, thanks C4ndl3s

#39785 +(1032)- [X]

<Haunter> Some ultra-Christian girl said "Jesus loves you" to me today, and I said "Just me?"  She said, "No, he loves everyone."  So I collapsed in fake tears and started wailing, yelling "What kind of a healthy relationship is THAT supposed to be?  I gave 15 years of my life to that man, and he's going around loving EVERYONE?"

#40171 +(1207)- [X]

tom: why do girls get grossed out when you say you've tried to suck your own dick?
Kanddak: lol
Kanddak: are you saying you've tried to suck your own dick
tom: today in journalism these girls tied my shoelaces together
tom: so I bend down to untie them
tom: and she pushes my head down
tom: and I'm like "believe me, I've tried about a million times, it's not going to work"

#44664 +(202)- [X]

(SaMaNtHa^) as long as you're not attracted to chipmunks
(MarK^MacLeaN) i'm not
(MarK^MacLeaN) except for that whole chipmunk raping incident
(MarK^MacLeaN) poor lil guy
(MarK^MacLeaN) girl girl.. i mean girl lol
(SaMaNtHa^) homosexuality and beastiality all rolled into one
(MarK^MacLeaN) yeah it was a tough year

#45294 +(306)- [X]

<TheCross> anybody up for a bible triva game ?
<Angel1289> I'll play trivia.
<JeremiahSmith> "What was Jesus' middle name?"
<Noah> Fucking.
<Consul> H
<Noah> Right? Jesus Fucking Christ?
<TheCross> gtg
<TheCross> later
*** TheCross (~2thecross@------3176.mainf01.in.comcast.net) has left #bar

#46187 +(359)- [X]

<@netnomad> Why do we as human beings listen to depressing music when we're already depressed.
<Spock> Misery loves company?
<@netnomad> No, that's the explanation for why I'm on IRC.

#46396 +(389)- [X]

«+ aisu_kurimu » damn right
«+ aisu_kurimu » wait i think i messed up my ghetto lang
«+ aisu_kurimu » damn straight*
«+ aisu_kurimu » ughhhh 17 years in the ghetto, you'd think i'd pick up something
«@Xellos-san» yeah, herpes

#46840 +(398)- [X]

<The-Fighter> i'm not a penis-driven tennager, unlike some people in this room
<The-Fighter> *cough*
<BlazeHedgehog> MY PENIS DRIVES ME TO WORK EVERY DAY :D

#48319 +(21)- [X]

<@crikket> hrrm ima go to bed now...
<DarkSpork> 'night crikket
<tuptup> nitenite
<@crikket> na'nite all
...
<neo-kun> cya crikket
* @crikket comes back and turns off his speakers *  o.O;
<@crikket> nite nite neo
<tuptup> awww
<tuptup> i coulda beeped crikket to sleep XD

#50941 +(85)- [X]

* nick > Stalkaout is now known as Stalkachu
<@Miz> and where have you been?
<@Cheez> considering hes at university hes probably been out drinking / getting stoned / getting laid
<@Miz> considering its Stalkeh i'd wager not
<@Cheez> LOL

#56943 +(170)- [X]

<BeZeRK> |NEWS FLASH| ALL K-MART AND WALMART STORES WILL BE CLOSED IN IRAQ. - they will be replaced with Targets!

#57925 +(217)- [X]

<Slime> Smearing your weiner in dog food and going over to Rex does not count as losing your virginity
<Slime> Trust me, I should know
<Slime> You should have seen the faces at the hospital when I asked where the "Ward for People Who Have Had Their Penises Chewed On By Dogs"

#58170 +(116)- [X]

<Presto> why do they even do that on websites.
<Presto> If the link above is flashing you win!
<Presto> but it seems that the link is always flashing...
<Presto> infact, I have never seen it not flash.
<Moeser> its more like "if you are a gullible user, YOURE A WINNER!"
<Presto> pisses me off
<jenara> ive clicked it before
<jenara> turns out, you don't win
<jenara> you sell your soul
<jenara> TO THE DEVIL
<Moeser> NOOO NOT THE DEVIL!
* Moeser rips off his mouse button
<Moeser> must.... not... click...

#75514 +(571)- [X]

<mako> my letter "eye" stopped worng
<luca> k, too?
<mako> yeah
<luca> sounds like a mountain dew spill
<mako> and comma
<mako> those three
<mako> ths s horrble
<luca> tme for a new eyboard
<luca> 've successfully taen my eyboard apart and fxed t by cleanng t wth alcohol
<mako> stop mang fun of me
<mako> ths s a laptop!!

#97442 +(707)- [X]

<A|LOCO> !setinfo #women this is my setinfo, bow down
-ChanServ- You lack access to #women.
<A|LOCO> =(

#105832 +(964)- [X]

<Ubik> speaking of Jenga, it's the 1-year anniversery of 9/11 tomorrow

#118480 +(53)- [X]

<MB|Linux> so Python is a good language to start out with?
<Mike|Linux> heh sure
<Mike|Linux> That's what I am doing right now.. Or breaking another part of linux. ;)
<MB|Linux> I rememeber the old Tandy/Commodore basic :)
<MB|Linux> lol
<MB|Linux> Cool
<MB|Linux> 10 do this
<MB|Linux> 20 do that
<MB|Linux> 30 do this again
<MB|Linux> 40 run
<MB|Linux> 50 go fuck yourself
<MB|Linux> lol
<MB|Linux> 60 go get some food, this will take awhile.
<MB|Linux> Hmmm

#137032 +(451)- [X]

* The_Cat plays 'Godsmack - Voodoo'
<T-112> playing: Daft Punk & Stardust - Music Sounds Better with You.mp3  128kbps 6.77min
<T-112> randomly..
* %Storm plays: Look I'm fucking special cause I'm telling everyone what shitty music I'm listening to by The No one gives a fucks
<Gnome> Good song.

#137733 +(389)- [X]

<obso> christ
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.

#141224 +(1022)- [X]

<barka> one more time, anybody around here use StrokeIt?
<e> no, I prefer KY Jelly
<barka> Y2KY Jelly.
<barka> To cram 4 digits where only 2 used to fit.

#215254 +(621)- [X]

<xtal> Uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh?
<Mazca> stop masturbating quizzically.

#485105 +(762)- [X]

Wolfe177: Me: "so when are we going to use this stuff in real life", math teacher: "when u become a math teacher"

#487298 +(1994)- [X]

-!- Spudnewt [MacroKILLA@S01060004e2286ac3.wp.shawcable.net] has
joined #nanog
<Spudnewt> These goddamn trolls interrupting my flow. These niggas
           don't respek us with a +o.  They gotta color spam and fake
           invite, bombing with asciis in yellow on white.   Shit
           yeah. it's bright, you 12 year old kiddie.  You ain't got
           pubes and you ain't seen titty.  I'll jupe your chans and
           ban your ass.  Don't message me with plz unban, your chance
           has passed!  Other opers crappin up our relay net.
<Spudnewt> Why haven't you delinked your 386 yet? ircd needs xeons and
           dual cpus.  When it comes to irc hardware, you can't be a
           jew.  Shit, nobody knows the trouble I've seen.  On invites
           for websites with naked teens.   Begs for ops and packet
           attacks.  Shit from users who use vi, not emacs.  Another
           long day of patrolling the IRC.  Eating my doritos, and
           having a jerk, I chat with TheWalrus and #nanog faggots.
<Spudnewt> All this niggas do is complain "the lag it's--  bad, chat
           is slow, and we're getting harassed."  Shit, trolls, this
           k-line is your last.  Once more and it's "G" and you're
           gone for good.   Banned from the internet chatting
           neighbourhood.  It's lonely at the top. Just me and
           CHANFIX.  Day in and day out. Banning trolls with my linux.
           We give safe harbor to chatters world wide.
<Spudnewt> From pedophiles to hacker thieves.  Yeah, I won't lie:  IRC
           is a cesspool of e-misfits.  EazyCheezes and bagel-cutters
           like that nigga BitS.  But at least we're the best.
           Disagree and you're gone.  BRB, mom just told me gotta mow
           the lawn.
-!- Spudnewt [MacroKILLA@S01060004e2286ac3.wp.shawcable.net] has left
#nanog []
-!- mode/#nanog [+b spudnewt!*@*] by nar
<Darkcyde> someone give that guy a record deal

#547569 +(3498)- [X]

M8525888: here, you gotta press a and e really fast
M8525888: æ
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
...
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae
M8525888: æ i o u
Ryoji 17: ae
Ryoji 17: ae

#598656 +(780)- [X]

<brooksie> what is the point of a name server
<[Piratez]> hi 67.87.0.196

#603686 +(312)- [X]

<ravon> kamikaze_: japp
<ravon> kamikaze_: Något i den stilen, men du får lugna dig med parametrarna.
<ravon> kamikaze_: Vadå, förstår du inte vad jag säger? Bra kodde.
<wipu> oh setLocale(Locale.EN)
<ravon> wipu: nah, just speak a random language as retaliation.
<wipu> i just did, my choice was java :)

#743353 +(473)- [X]

Matt: I reaaaaaaaaaaallly hope the coding for this grade genie in our online gradebook is fucked
Matt: "You final exam score must be 1.20303288341787e^308 for Final Average to be 90"

#921435 +(915)- [X]

Milamber: hopefully that will get him outa trouble
Mick: yeah because that was in the top 20 of worst wiring jobs
Mick: nothign will beat number 1
Milamber: no. 1?
Mick: ooh that was amazing
Mick: it was a corolla
Mick: painted blue and red with housepaint outside
Mick: with green wheels
Mick: inside was painted blue with rattlecans including the seats
Mick: there was rubbish and rotten food on the ground as high as the bottom of the seat
Mick: the radio was a tape player that he wanted replaced with a clarion cd tuner
Mick: tape player was held in with winnie blue cig packets, some bandaids and chewing gum
Mick: to get the old one out they had smashed the dash
Mick: it was wired up with bits of house wire and extension cords
Mick: they had hacked a hole in the firewall to run the power for the radio straight off the start motor
Mick: which the wiries were sticky taped onto the starter motor
Mick: the speakers in the back were sitting on the shelf being held in by just the force of their own magnets as it had no parcelshelf
Milamber: woooooow did you just tell him where to stick it?
Mick: I threw up from the smell in the car on the workshop floor
Mick: gene had to help me up
Mick: he called the customer who was told to go home and burn the car
Milamber: ROFL

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