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#1377 +(422)- [X]

<TheFlux2k> i just teleport everywhere
<TheFlux2k> walking is for faggots

#1566 +(383)- [X]

<Chis_> this problem calls for a trip to #math

#3474 +(298)- [X]

<@Catgirl> The three stages of Catgirl hating: #1) "FUCK YOU I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG" #2) "FUCK YOU I BET YOU'RE NOT A GIRL" #3) "FUCK YOU" *ban* PM: "I'd like to fuck you."

#4204 +(53)- [X]

<kr0ss> people who get offended by '666' can suck my 6.66 inch cock

#5407 +(398)- [X]

<Ron> I am from the land where we do not speak english, I am sorry for this minor setback

#6885 +(371)- [X]

<rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
<rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
<rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
<rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
<rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
<rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal passage
<rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL

#6908 +(1811)- [X]

<Toen> OH NO! A steamroller comes barreling down on brentai! He must roll 1d20! Less than 6 escapes death!
<Toen> unless he wants to use up his luck charm and make it a 1d10!
<Brentai> I use my raping skill to rape the steamroller.
<Toen> your rape is ineffective against the cold, solid steel!
<Brentai> Well, crud.
<Brentai> 1d10
<Dildice> Brentai: 9
<Brentai> Er, 1d20.
<Brentai> 1d20
<Dildice> Brentai: 14
<Brentai> Crap, and crap.
<Toen> squish
<Brentai> Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller.  It's a man's death.

#7133 +(395)- [X]

<Rasputin> eiiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> eiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> we won't be leavin' til we get some pus-sy sooooooo
<CrashCat> i'm not complainin' but shut up or I'll beat your brain in

#7972 +(321)- [X]

<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?!  it'll take you all day to download that bagel!

#8192 +(120)- [X]

<Joe_> gheybot, life?
<gheyBot> life is all about lounging in front of the fireplace w/ a wyse terminal

#8962 +(307)- [X]

* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff

#9291 +(1012)- [X]

<jre> I wouldn't eat dolphin.  I refuse to eat anything smarter than me.  Which is why I abstain from broccoli.
<AmbushBug> I would love to only eat things smarter than me.
<AmbushBug> ...
<AmbushBug> I assume the silence is all of you standing agape at the opening i left for all of you.
<jre> Ambush:  It's too predictible.  We want originality in our comedy.

#9413 +(709)- [X]

(@Bean): rofl
(@Bean): I asked my g/f too marry me, she took me seriously

#11185 +(1034)- [X]

<[AFT]^Kempi> what really got her mad was....
<[AFT]^Kempi> when i was burning a CD and got up from sex 1/2 way through and changed the cd
<[AFT]^Kempi> she didn't talk to me for a while

#11260 +(183)- [X]

<DumbCatgirlSexSlave> no.  must slay Willian Shatner.
<DumbCatgirlSexSlave> ... his name is "Shatner".  this never struck me as funny before but it does now.
<Tomko> william scatner
<Tomko> spock: your feces is ILLOGICALLY DELICIOUS

#11577 +(833)- [X]

<Dark_Lord411> hi
<Dark_Lord411> asl
<ShockSMX> no, dsl... you?

#12118 +(88)- [X]

<BurntAsh> i just know the shit has officially pissed me off beyond belief, ive had it up to here ^ with that place screwin with me
<@tmbg> BurntAsh: three words:
<@tmbg> Rocket Propelled Grenades

#14414 +(1)- [X]

<[s-fury]> windows .net is the plot to take over the world.
<KittyBoy> the computer world?
<[s-fury]> no, the WORLD!

#22240 +(174)- [X]

<TMT> I have my gf keep me warm in the winter. ^_^
<Y|yukichigai> Sigh.... all I have are cats
<prophecy> all I have is a tiger blanket -.-
<TMT> crazy cat person! Run!
<TMT> jk
<prophecy> =p
<prophecy> truth be told, I am a furry. *hides, expecting to be lynched*
<Y|yukichigai> I'm a furry too.  It's just that most people don't find it attractive when you keep getting your velcro watchband caught on your ass

#23459 +(81)- [X]

<sg> um did you guys look at my collage :( :(
<Slappie> I couldn't
<Slappie> the filter here at the office said it was "Tasteless"
<sg> it's huddie ledbetter
<sg> that's not tasteless.
<-- sg has quit (QUIT: )
<Slappie> I was being serious
<evad> haha

#28007 +(493)- [X]

<|Crash|> condoms suck!
<iota> so do kids

#31551 +(149)- [X]

<spacegirl> because i don't suck dick
<P-Rex> how do your mates keep you from talking during sex then, kellie?

#33604 +(129)- [X]

Kim: brb.. needta potty
Mike: well thank you for that info
Mike: my life is complete with the knowledge yer emptying yer bladder right now
Mike: speaking of which.....
* Mike brb

#33866 +(43)- [X]

<brolli_420> World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (Champion) vs. Unknown Opponent
<brolli_420> WOW
<brolli_420> that should be a good match -_-

#39183 +(385)- [X]

<fanf1> linux is more compatible with unix than windows is with windows

#39671 +(121)- [X]

<dan-o2> fuck my mirror is messy
<KGB_ate_my_bread> maybe if you didn't jack off to yourself..

#43827 +(173)- [X]

*** NinjaStu listens to abba - dancing queen
*** suds listens to a-teens - dancing queen
*** EvilJoven listens to Bitchy Customer - My Webpage Isnt Working (Why wont you die remix)
*** Fraggy plays 'Trance Control - Welcome to the House'

#55170 +(82)- [X]

<KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot?
<KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to
<RX> good things kevin
<KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D

#58051 +(152)- [X]

<Maltagal> hi
<Ace> sup
<Maltagal> r u over 40
<Ace> haha no
<Maltagal> well i was going to see what u r like b/c my mum is single

#58173 +(323)- [X]

<Vuriand> Curz: Does OFP have good music?
<Curz> No. It sucks
<Curz> And it sucks very hard
<Curz> Now I'm off to suck
<Curz> Argh
<Curz> *sleep

#61317 +(265)- [X]

* [TxC]-LaSeK is back from having hot sex. I was gone for 3secs

#62235 +(213)- [X]

<Afxtwin> I am looking for some really good ascii art
<ecto> I got it
<ecto> but you got to suck my dick first.
<sXr> show him your cok pls
<ecto>            _
<ecto>           /\) _  
<ecto>      _   / / (/\ 
<ecto>     /\) ( Y)  \ \
<ecto>    / /   ""   (Y )
<ecto>   ( Y)  _      ""
<ecto>    ""  (/\       _ 
<ecto>         \ \     /\)
<ecto>         (Y )   / /
<ecto>          ""   ( Y)
<ecto>                ""

#73199 +(592)- [X]

(slippy): saw chocolate boxer shorts yesterday
(slippy): it said "may contain nuts"

#84294 +(77)- [X]

<Numloxx> hmmm, wonder if i should have chinese tonight
<Numloxx> yeah... a bit of shaved asian would feel good :)
<Numloxx> i mean.. umm... sweet and sour pork..
<Numloxx> wait.. i meant.. umm.. satay chicken and fried rice :)

#106787 +(2441)- [X]

<Supra87T> aw, for shits sake!
<Snipa> what?
<Supra87T> remember sarah? well, the other night we fucked, and now i have to get tested for aids.
<Snipa> Think positive
<Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny

#108614 +(548)- [X]

<ChopLogik> ie ergo vis-a-vis concordantly ex thusly betwixt!
<Brass> Chop:  You missed a "therefore" and a "etc."
<ChopLogik> well i didnt miss YOUR MOM WITH A HUGE LOAD OF SEMEN

#119853 +(132)- [X]

#146402 +(297)- [X]

(bigwurm) if your concerned about the ammount of cpu time an onboard sound card uses, you should really get a new cpu + mobo
(@|-ZenitH-|) or a life

#154043 +(1121)- [X]

<Poo> norp I will scan you now
<norp> poo so what ports do i have open?
<Poo> I am not looking at ports I am looking at services
<lukeiyo-e> i've run a scan on both of you... i'm not detecting girlfriends

#213947 +(1046)- [X]

<Burn132> How do I make it so that I can hear you guys talk and not just see the captions???

#223408 +(535)- [X]

(@WrmSlayer] wow
(@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
(+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
(@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds

#398219 +(558)- [X]

<b0b> i can impregnate from 10 meters
* felix takes a step back

#491608 +(888)- [X]

vampiriclord98: sup
trevmaniscool: my day was horrible, i lost a 20 dollar bill, got beat up, and was late for all my classes
vampiriclord98: dang
vampiriclord98: why u get beat up?
trevmaniscool: For stealing a 20 dollar bill when I should have been going to class

#549651 +(1094)- [X]

<Velk> I have my school pay phones on my cell contact list
<Velk> my friend and I plan to go to New York city and take down as many pay phone numbers as we can
<Velk> and single out a person, and every payphone he passes we'll call
<Velk> just to creep him out

#676796 +(239)- [X]

<Osiris_69> we cant be a couple because she wont agree to oral sex before mariage
<Osiris_69> catholic chinese, who is the ass who converted them? im gona kill those fuckers
<AntiZzZ> i dated one of em
<AntiZzZ> she never gave it up in like 8 months
<AntiZzZ> she was rich tho
<Poppet-> damn
<Poppet-> 8 months
<Osiris_69> on the 9th month anti?
<AntiZzZ> we broke up
<_hit> she had a black baby

#679854 +(1157)- [X]

<bTm> I swear to God, if you ever say that to me again, I will remove each and every one of your limbs, including your tiny penis, with a rusty spoon, shove your bleeding stumps into buckets of rock salt, then force you to eat your way out of a hole filled with your own feces and body parts.
<Xeonspire> Er. All I said was, "Hi".

#698189 +(715)- [X]

[XClaireX]: i was masturbating the other day
[Childzy]: uh.. okay
[XClaireX]: i think i did it wrong
[XClaireX]: ..
[XClaireX]: i'm pregnant now :' (

#729203 +(1053)- [X]

<dogs> we use IPv7 now
<dogs> it's pretty much IPv6, but the headers contain porn
<dogs> saves bandwidth

#764110 +(328)- [X]

Muri> "Does it count as crossplay if Im a man, cosplaying a man, who dresses as a woman?"
Dephemait> no... but it's STILL gay

#896740 +(181)- [X]

<silicate> shit, it looks like it's gonna be sunny on saturday
* Zally glares at you
<silicate> that's not good ... for reasons, that would require a much un-needed and long story
<Zally> hmm, ya ill take your word for it?
<silicate> yeah, i don't feel like explaining it
<Zally> Its all good
<Zally> I dont feel like pretending im interested

0.0426 20982 quotes approved; 5904 quotes pending
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