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#283 +(980)- [X]

<GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
<GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big Dicks
<GreenJelly> IM SO IN

#2861 +(57)- [X]

[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <exploding_elf> watch it `Jamesy, keep your fluids to yourself and dont flood

#3152 +(58)- [X]

<Spin0ut> ok, going to try the bed thing again <aNuBiS-> Spin0ut: Fucking your pillow till you bleed?

#3761 +(449)- [X]

<[ric]> although.... dark makeup (check)... peircings (check)... wearing black (check)... leather & studded wristbands (check)... mad stare (check)
<[ric]> she has all the hallmarks of a good date if you ask me... now if we could just add a some mental instability and bizarre drinking habbits then we have my perfect woman

#3812 +(162)- [X]

#3918 +(424)- [X]

<zetullus> This is just not happening. Im sure I was smarter than this when I went to bed

#5712 +(68)- [X]

<+Krispy> i talk about poo a lot
<+gwenhyvar> Krispy: I had to poo really bad when the AT&T guy was installing our phone.. and I couldn't untill he was gone
<+Straylight> why not? installing a phone in the bathroom?

#6155 +(818)- [X]

<Mooglez> the lack of intelligent and cultured converstaion bores me
<Mooglez> laterz bitchez

#6758 +(285)- [X]

<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .:: -
<Kilroy`> well, all I saw was the top of her head
<Kilroy`> I wonder if I'll recognize her if I meet her again
<Kilroy`> .....
<dh> Kilroy`: I guess you'll just have to make every chick you meat give you head
<dh> err meet
<dh> but then, meat works too

#6869 +(201)- [X]

* BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.
BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person.  In fact, if people like that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss Freaking Congeniality, dammit!

#7943 +(63)- [X]

<Neptune^> ok you jackasses..just cause im drunk doesnt mean the discussion has to degrade to high schools

#9589 +(5)- [X]

<CMR> We're having a solar eclipse!
<RJR> Oo! Where?

#16749 +(774)- [X]

<Phillip`> i just had starbucks coffee
<K_Russell> join #someonewhocares :(
<Phillip`> no one is there :(

#24912 +(198)- [X]

<radish> id root you, but im busy trying to work out why it is that whenever i
get paid a series of bills arrive for just about the same amount of money

#33960 +(267)- [X]

<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards
<Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover?
<FooMashoo> yes

#34070 +(881)- [X]

<melvin> you need a mullet piccolo
<piccolo> [Jan Johnston - Unafraid][3m52s/192kbps/stereo]
<piccolo> :/
<piccolo> [DeVision - Heart-Shaped Tumor (Icon Of Coil Mix)][5m38s/192kbps/stereo]
<melvin> don't make me turn my mp3 script back on >:|
<piccolo> [01 - Martyr][4m06s/224kbps/stereo]
<piccolo> [Fear Factory - Martyr][4m06s/224kbps/stereo]
<melvin> that's it assmunch
<melvin> prepare to be assaulted by fagotry
* melvin IS SENDING WINAMP DATA TO MIRC!! HE IS PLAYING Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus OMG OMG OMG!! I HOPE THIS ISN'T ANNOYING ^_^ KEKEKEKE HUK HUK HUK - NOW GET ON YOUR KNEE'S AND BOW BEFORE ME!! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus ! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus ! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus !!!
* melvin dances! :D|-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
* melvin dances! :D/-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
* melvin dances! :D|-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
* melvin dances! :D-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
<melvin> Please note as I (melvin) am playing Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus. It is currently 19:25:19 - 18/09/2002
<Kitsa> melvin: fuck off
<melvin> <3

#34184 +(172)- [X]

<BlinkingBear> 'manipulating' is a catholic term for masturbation
<flawd_> !dict manipulation
<MarvinAndroid> - 2: the action of touching with the hands or the skillful use of

#39750 +(163)- [X]

<picklehammer> im nude right now
<xooz98> are you hammering your pickle?
<picklehammer> I was a while ago
<picklehammer> oh shir I got blood on my keyboard

#39908 +(89)- [X]

<Arbo> IRC: Therapy for the deranged.

#41536 +(139)- [X]

<toe2toe> what would happen is you were MEANT to type "prosecution is pressing for maximum sentencing on the count of vehicular manslaughter"....but ACTUALLY typed "the judge licks penis"
<Jade_Vixen> If i was a legal secretay, this might all be a problem...
<toe2toe> thats a pretty big if
<toe2toe> perhaps you and your IF would like to come back to my place one day
<toe2toe> and i can show you my big "perhaps"
<Jade_Vixen> I can't spell for crap tonight... :P
* Jade_Vixen rolls her eyes
<Spizzer> ROFL toe2toe ur such a clown
<toe2toe> im crying on the inside.

#46672 +(680)- [X]

<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on

#46927 +(377)- [X]

<niglet3> my "father" sent me a mail with an image (joke about florida's voting procedure, has a picture of some fisher-price toy) -- the source?  forum.incesttaboo.com ...

#48629 +(436)- [X]

<Xellos-san> don't confuse barbecues with hookers
<Xellos-san> the only way you can tell them apart is to set them on fire
<Xellos-san> if it runs away, it's a hooker
<Xellos-san> if it stays, it's a barbecue
<Xellos-san> or a dead hooker

#49889 +(1097)- [X]

<Zang> How old is Sky?
<Cyril> 25 i think
<Cyril> he just gained a level
<Cyril> er year

#50236 +(155)- [X]

* Scout wants to die while having sex. not really.
<Opoggo> that'd suck for the guy
<Opoggo> think he'd go on?

#52006 +(89)- [X]

<Thep> I want to clean up bio-waste
<Sora> Um.
<Sora> Hint: That involves other people's shit and piss.
<Sora> And amputees wiggling their stumps at you and moaning. That always creeped me out.
<Thep> I'd like to retract my last statement during the minute of 5:30 EST
<Sora> Ah ha ha
<Sora> Yeah.

#75198 +(250)- [X]

<Sloan_Chanston> I wonder if eating dropped froot loops off a semen-stained floor is acceptable under the 10-Second Rule convention
<Yeyende> No, I really dont think it is
<Sloan_Chanston> Too late.
<Yeyende> eeeeewww
<Dredly> No. Fucking. Way.
<Yeyende> That is disgusting Sloan
<Sloan_Chanston> Oh, like neither of you have tasted your own semen.
<Yeyende> ...
<Yeyende> No, I can't say that I have
<Sloan_Chanston> In liberal California we call that "self-discovery"

#93846 +(104)- [X]

<poo_al> A friend of mine once went to a public toilet for a dump and found to his horror that the last person in there had wiped their arse with the toilet paper while still leaving it attached to the roll and then wound it back up out of sight. So as well as getting it on his hand, my friend accidentally wiped his arse with someone else's shit GROSS!

#100494 +(293)- [X]

<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH

#106771 +(6)- [X]

<RocketMan> i came up with a new chocolately cereal that turns your milk brown
<RocketMan> they're called Negr-O's

#106897 +(244)- [X]

<diktatormike_> that's the tao of machines....corect one problem only to see 3 more underlying problems
<Vlad902> I know, wtf, that's what happened in 1969, they found a bug in ls and ended up with Windows...

#126826 +(771)- [X]

<Oddlies> spawn killing is when you kill someone as they respawn you nub
<Chimp> I do that in wolfenstein with the mortar
<Oddlies> then you're a spawn kiling nub
<Oddlies> :. sux
<Oddlies> spawn killing is not cool D:
<Chimp> I only do it when I need the xp
<Oddlies> that's like saying "I only rape toddlers when I need to get laid"
<Oddlies> it doesn't make it cool

#142976 +(661)- [X]

<Zok> Oh, it needs to be in jpg or png
<Sephiroth> okay I changed the extension
<Sephiroth> but isn't any smaller

#146989 +(263)- [X]

<Entriech> Theatre tickets are 91$ at the cheapest?
<Entriech> Jesus Christ.
<Entriech> What do they think I am, made of money?
<Entriech> Cause even if I was, that's like sawing my dick in half for theatre tickets.

#147029 +(500)- [X]

<TriviaBot>  BIG.1372. Norse mythology: What killed Baldur ?
<TriviaBot>  1st Hint: *********   Question Value : 3 Points
<Darric> his gate
<kutuzov> a gate
<sheoul> lol
<Darric> lolol
<sheoul> NERDS!

#239140 +(794)- [X]

<CactusJac> I remember the days when I was angry at the world for no apparent reason

#260330 +(1017)- [X]

<VOmitOry> I have a problem, every file i download gets corrupted, anyone know why? :o
<kn1ves> is your computer republican?

#262518 +(1274)- [X]

* Shockla has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* rooties-w has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* Mr_Hahn has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* rup\tek has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
<wandarah> holy shit.
<wandarah> truly your meep is a powerful weapon.

#350537 +(617)- [X]

<mebR> cs players dont need condoms, we use our personality

#376558 +(294)- [X]

<bean> i remember back when irc was different
<unseenn> it still is different

#416835 +(482)- [X]

(@Shockwave) Windows 3.11 calculator is broken in an amusing way.
(@Shockwave) Put in 3.01 - 3 and it gives you 0, every time.
(@Shockwave) Hurray for flaws in MS's basic math table
(JIM_BOB7813) Well if you need a calculator to do that, you deserve that answer :P

#509607 +(1026)- [X]

<Seikun> My friend (mike) bought a sword and bb guns in the states. he tried to bring them over to canada. and they said "the bb guns are a replica of the real ones. so you can't bring them in." "but you can take the sword, because thats not really considered a weapon"

#571826 +(351)- [X]

Annabel0Lee: I saw Jesus in my pop tart this morning.
LUunfortunate: did you eat it?
Annabel0Lee: Yes, is that wrong?
LUunfortunate: You coulda made money off of it
LUunfortunate: and then bought like a bunch of replacement poptarts
Annabel0Lee: Well, I haven't had communion in a while...

#606919 +(680)- [X]

<tetsuo> why do our bathroom signs at work have braille on them?
<tetsuo> for that matter, why do any?
<tetsuo> what kind of cruel fuck wouldn't lead a blind person to a bathroom?
<tetsuo> "I'm kinda busy so here's what you're going to do. Walk down this hallway for about 40 feet. You'll come to an interesection, take a left down that hallway and walk another 20. On your right you'll encounter two doors. Now, I can't tell you which is which, you'll just have to find that out on your own."

#637196 +(1800)- [X]

<LordPie> which part confuses you more, my complex lexicon or the fact that i beat you with your own logic?
<jestaa> using big words doesn't make you more smarter.
<LordPie> Sorry, let me put it in an language that you can understand
<LordPie> OMG, ROFL LOL!!!!!!!!! J00 GOT OWNED!!11111!!

#708719 +(635)- [X]

James: I have a problem.  My iTunes can't find any of the files...
Paul: Double click on the songs and click find
Paul: then find where they are
James: one problem
James: i don't know where they are
Paul: well, it looks like you and iTunes have something in common

#714823 +(377)- [X]

<Nrrd> never mind telnet I've been wokring on a communications protocol using smoke from spliffs and bongs
<Nrrd> Toke-n Ring networking I'm calling it

#809241 +(684)- [X]

<Clyve> God... I swear this is the only place on the net with any intelligence whatsoever.
<That_RPG_Guy> It is silly for a woman to go to a male gynecologist. It is like going to an auto mechanic who has never even owned his own car.
<Clyve> Well, if I didn't just put my foot in my mouth.

#918433 +(725)- [X]

JxJ: im sleepy and I need something to pick me up, what should I drink?
GCa: Well, a  can of coke has about 45 mg of caffeine. A shot, about 90. 8oz drip coffee 180-220. Ice coffee ~250+.
GCa: These are estimates, btw
GCa: My ultimate pick-me-up drink was an iced venti coffee with no ice, add two-three shots, a couple pumps of syrup and top it with cream
GCa: Then I would slam it... INSANE amounts of caffeine
GCa: Approx 16oz (you can get 32oz now) of iced coffee (500mg)+3 shots (270mg)= 770 mg of caffeine, or the equivalent of 17 cans of coke at once
GCa: I used to pull up allnighters on that stuff just to ace finals. never failed anything.
Dorne: shit, at that point caffeine is basically coke
GCa: Don't try to drive while on that.
JxJ: what the hell was your major?
GCa: english

#953518 +(2680)- [X]

<No_One> Damn my land mine collection is gone.
<No_One> Also so is my shed
<No_One> That's gonna be fun in the morning
15 minutes later.
<No_One> Fuck afk police pulled in
<Dwarf> k
<Dwarf> have fun
10 minutes later.
<No_One> Shiit
<No_One> Someone broke into my shed
<No_One> They won't do that again
3 hours later.
<No_One> Can I be charged with criminal negligence even if the said deceased person used bolt cutters to access something that killed them?
<noregister> I doubt it
<No_One> Good

0.0504 20982 quotes approved; 6268 quotes pending
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