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#339 +(741)- [X]

<locust> Hey phil how do I get rid of my ip number

#761 +(903)- [X]

<Martes> I gotta stop sleeping nude with my window open
<Martes> no one exciting comes in anyway

#1052 +(251)- [X]

<_Bas> folks, when people say "power train", do they mean "automatic transmission"?

#1534 +(399)- [X]

<Spin0ut> anubis's nick is cool
<Spin0ut> cuz it contains the words anus and bi

#2157 +(424)- [X]

[16:18] <novocain> shit its 4:20
[16:19] *** THC_420 (VR66@24.102.63.76) has joined #winprog

#4308 +(194)- [X]

<K][cK> just had some cold jack and cock :)

#6125 +(454)- [X]

<HrdwrBoB_> they are poo :)
<HrdwrBoB_> but hten
<HrdwrBoB_> they are not poo
<HrdwrBoB_> so they are poo and not poo AT THE SAME TIME!!
<Fryboy> quantum poo

#7283 +(376)- [X]

( TheFlyingP) i've got a pronoucement : school is bad for your health
( noip-work ) thats an ANnouncement, f00l :)
( Fuzzy     ) you need to pay more attention at school

#7508 +(191)- [X]

<Cerebus> ravers don't go to heaven or hell, they go to plurgatory  :(

#7781 +(419)- [X]

<n2d2> i didnt put bon jovi in the playlist
<n2d2> oh my god
<chaobacca> 11:36:54
<chaobacca> Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine
<n2d2> my bon jovi mp3s have become self-aware

#8067 +(322)- [X]

<Embercide> i was doing 3 things at once, went to take the smoke out and it must have stuck to my lip and flipped up
<Embercide> i must have just closed my eye in time cause the eye itself isnt damaged
<Avatar> who'd've thought a cigarette could be so dangerous?
<Scourge> Not only do they cause numerous cancers and other lung problems but they can also burn your eyes.

#13200 +(671)- [X]

<erisynne> he has a ctcp version fetish
<erisynne> he did it to me 7 times
<GreenMtn> did you lose your versionity?

#15634 +(237)- [X]

<drunkers> do you know who i am?
<vinnieT> nope
<drunkers> i could rip your eyes out and stick them in your knee and make your knee read a book
<vinnieT> i dont read

#16611 +(137)- [X]

<countzero> chubbyken: how chubby are you?..
<markanoid> he's not chubby anymore, he's been working out.. havent you read?
<aander> i heard somewhere that his name isnt ken either
<uprightmonkey> i also read that he isnt even gay!
<aander> upright, now dont be silly. do you believe everything you read?
<uprightmonkey> true true, aander. my bad.

#21863 +(287)- [X]

<eMeow-v2> WTF, why is nmbd dying each time?!
<Tamahome> Meow: it hates you, it's personal.
<eMeow-v2> Tamahome: you used that line already
<Tamahome> Meow: it's true.
<Tamahome> Meow: your computer is getting you back for all the years you     abused it
<eMeow-v2> Tamahome: it's a new computer. The old one is locked in the  cupboard.
<eMeow-v2> Oh wait. it's the old one that runs samba
<eMeow-v2> FUCK

#21879 +(198)- [X]

<[ComHem]HammeR> casca; think? Whats that?
<[PASSIVE]_casca> that's the thing you do before masturbating in public

#31319 +(217)- [X]

* Courthold eats PT
<Courthold> dammit pt having boners making it hard to chew
<PTDC> Hee hee. I hope that was a typo and not a freudian slip.

#33106 +(699)- [X]

<jestuh> and i'm 14k in debt on CCs
<jestuh> ;[
<synth3tic> STOP BUYING SHIT

#36732 +(246)- [X]

<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a lesbian pornstar most of the time

#39141 +(27)- [X]

<PenDragon> ((don't... I don't find it funny... and neither does Kelli...))
<Tarl> (Weelll..for some reason, I consider my amusement more important than your own.)
<Tarl> (Besides.)
<Tarl> (Playing brother sister, while being "sexually active"..)
<Tarl> (It kind of opens yourself up to ridicule.)

#39908 +(109)- [X]

<Arbo> IRC: Therapy for the deranged.

#49642 +(542)- [X]

<@LazyMan13> [包 Lag: 1.048 seconds [包 Project Infusion v0.0.3 [包
* @LazyMan13 gives up
* +Knights slides his dick out of Lazy's connection and zips his pants...
<@LazyMan13> [包 Lag: 0.102 seconds [包 Project Infusion v0.0.3 [包
<@LazyMan13> .....
<@LazyMan13> damn you Knights

#50174 +(534)- [X]

<schnorks> One time I used a sock as a glove.
<Rivorus> One time i used a glove for a condom.
<schnorks> ...
<Rivorus> okay... five times

#58610 +(135)- [X]

<rover> I took my Ventolin puffer, and puffed it onto this cockroach that was still
<rover> it died

#76093 +(115)- [X]

<Hydro> Tragedy ensues as the 80's metal band Great White loses every single one of its 96 fans.

#78798 +(587)- [X]

<DopefishJustin> I just downloaded "Microsoft Visual C++ 6.0 Standard Edition.exe" off WinMX and it's actually a country music MP3 :/
<DopefishJustin> -=[JustinBot]=- Now playing: [EXE] [Microsoft Visual C++ 6] [3:31]
<DopefishJustin> I should have realized when I noticed it was 5MB

#82096 +(109)- [X]

[During an online Scrabble game]
<Grimp> I'd have to see your rack to actually play them :P
<Grimp> uh no sexual meaning intended :p

#89978 +(207)- [X]

<oc3-spd> no way dude my system is so much better than yours it owns yours and is faster.
<Hrrrrm> Ok show ur info.
<oc3-spd> os[Windows 2000 Professional (5.0 - 2195)] uptime[1h 22m 6s] cpu[2-AMD AthlonMP, 1635MHz, 256KB] mem[Usage: 380/3072MB (87.33%)[|---------]]
<Hrrrrm> you forgot to change the % on the ram.
<oc3-spd> os[Windows 2000 Professional (5.0 - 2195)] uptime[1h 22m 6s] cpu[2-AMD AthlonMP, 1635MHz, 256KB] mem[Usage: 380/3072MB (12.36%)[|---------]]
<Hrrrrm> damn youre right... its better :(

#105289 +(256)- [X]

<involution> yeah, my code is so fucking clean, and looks wicked good
<involution> but usually never works
<archimedes> same here

#137243 +(306)- [X]

[@revmoo]: O_o
[@revmoo]: I love windows
[@revmoo]: I unpack a divx on k:
[@revmoo]: and it tells me
[@revmoo]: "C: is running out of space"

#139483 +(320)- [X]

<BLIZZ> the Xbox 2 will include high-end gaming hardware, a mini-fridge capable of holding an entire case of soda or beer, an air-conditioning unit, a four slice toaster, a TIVO unit, cup holders, a diaper changing table, a trash can, and a refillable toothpaste reservoir. Even the new extra large controllers - designed specifically for use by basketball players - will incorporate heated buttons and miniature LCD screens so you don't miss out on any of the action
<BLIZZ> but thats just my prediction.......
<around-Bellerophon> no way...not gonna happen....they'd never pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir

#162081 +(183)- [X]

<ByteSize> warez = abrv. from "where is"
<ByteSize> right?

#192195 +(800)- [X]

<LadyLazaruss> LOL my student just sent me an email with the subject line "hey baby"
<Allahkat> HAHAHAHA
<bunnie> whoa
<LadyLazaruss> closely followed with an "oops... disregard that last email!!!"
<Loser> hahahaha
<Allahkat> LMFAO

#349350 +(704)- [X]

<Arameth> wow if the bible was an rpg then judas was damn poor. he sold out for thirty silver, that is three gold pieces, you can only just buy a dagger for that

#352559 +(972)- [X]

<Xaenyth> I'm going to ask you all a question that got a friend of mine expelled from school.
<Xaenyth> If you were going to shoot up a school...
<Xaenyth> ...what music would you want playing on the loudspeakers as you did it?
<r00x> Kill the rabbit by emler fudd

#491664 +(2478)- [X]

<Zach> Is your Dad home?
<videogameaholic> yep
<Zach> You get any hot chicks on the internet yet?
<videogameaholic> wtf?  There aren't any chicks on the internet.
<Zach> You gotta do what I do.  I get onto one of them lesbian chatrooms and pretend to be a 19 year old girl.
<videogameaholic> I bet the other 60 "horny lesbians" in that room think they are just as clever as you.
<Zach> no no no, they're really women, they send me naked pictures
<videogameaholic> What do you do when they ask for yours?
<Zach> I send them a pic of a 19 year old girl.
<videogameaholic> ...
<Zach> No seriously, they're all lesbians.
<videogameaholic> If you say so...
<Zach> damn straight.
<videogameaholic> I'm sure you are.

#605390 +(12)- [X]

<Ash2Dust> I'm pisexual. I am attracted to 22/7 different sexes

#608523 +(1229)- [X]

<Grakrim> Woo, my doctor is on TV!
<Grakrim> ...Pleading the 5th in a criminal negligence trial...

#639412 +(621)- [X]

(@DaySleeper) straight people only need gays for the fashion industry
(@DaySleeper) gay people need straights so they don't die out

#672690 +(596)- [X]

<Paragon> :j
<Metal_Massacre> is that supposed to be a happy guy with herpes?

#712887 +(386)- [X]

<murrrr> *bites tommah's hand off*
<murrrr> it must be pretty hard to type with only one hand
<FraudulentTommah> I won't respond to that

#725241 +(1772)- [X]

<@DemocracyDan> 5 votes to get kyhx banned!
<@DemocracyDan> fine if you are all going to spit in the face of democracy by not voting we won't allow talking at all
* DemocracyDan sets mode: +m
* DemocracyDan is now known as NaziNorm
<@NaziNorm> this is what happens when you don't allow your voices to be heard
<@NaziNorm> they get taken away
<@NaziNorm> think about that for awhile

#729203 +(1089)- [X]

<dogs> we use IPv7 now
<dogs> it's pretty much IPv6, but the headers contain porn
<dogs> saves bandwidth

#729937 +(289)- [X]

<Erodice> 1 time last year we just had freezing rain and people where goin' 60-70 mps over the bridge form where i live to the main city New Bern. you never seen so many morons slipin' an' swervin' and wouldn't anyone slow down it was insane
<Bligyith> On the fire department we call those return customers
<Bligyith> ...well not really, but I do

#763963 +(3146)- [X]

<ez76> a mac vs. pc commercial you'll never see: "Whatcha doin, PC?"  "I'm playing this new game."  "Oh really, which one?"  "Any."  "Oh."  (silence) (fade)

#779320 +(1804)- [X]

<dsully> please describe web 2.0 to me in 2 sentences or less.
<jwb> you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.

#785961 +(779)- [X]

<peer`> I cut off gummy bear heads and put them over the LED's on my keybaord
<peer`> now I have glowing gummy bear heads

#908942 +(418)- [X]

<@parasyte> I went straight on to my room, where I expected my nice, big bed. So I opened the door...
<@parasyte> ...and saw my sister riding her fat friend
<@parasyte> My first thought was: "wow, she got tits yet " My second on was: "Wow, he got 'em too"

#945605 +(496)- [X]

lemonlimeskull: Room-mate spends so much time strung-out that he hasn't been taking out the trash, so I just started leaving the full bags all over the kitchen floor.
lemonlimeskull: Was all fun and games for me until he called 911 about the 'black midget gang'.

#954214 +(259)- [X]

<bitchcunt> for the love of god, kathleen, he doesn't care about your hair! and if he does, maybe he should be going out with your brother.

0.0639 21096 quotes approved; 1828 quotes pending
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