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#334 +(570)- [X]

<Dert> i would much rather have a big thick detailed atlas of mars than a pair of breasts for one evening

#391 +(384)- [X]

<Zer0sKewl> Haha, I just nuked someone for my first time, Am I elite now?

#414 +(362)- [X]

<Wooben> So she called me and i told her she was really ugly
<Wooben> so that was the end of that

#1266 +(585)- [X]

<NonFish[> I installed Norton SystemWorks once and it tried to take over my computer =|
<NonFish[> I had to bust a regedit.exe cap in it's bitch ass.

#1936 +(316)- [X]

<fimmtiu>  asylum, then your disk is full. *shrug*  Wield rm -f wildly.
<asylum_>  fimmtiu. yeah right dude.
<DemoN>  rm -f is too slow.  newfs.
<rudefix>  hell, i just prefer to take the disk out and lick it!

#2394 +(443)- [X]

<McMoo> but then last year the sermon like a week before christmas was like 'CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT PRESENTS - OUR ONE TRUE PRESENT IS JESUS CHRIST!!!'
<McMoo> my dad didn't even get my mom anything
<McMoo> she was pissed.

#3659 +(655)- [X]

<Mazroth> A girl waved to me once before making out with her boyfriend, does that count as scoring?

#3920 +(715)- [X]

<djLiKu> tell her to give me a blueprint of her vagina
<blazemore> wtf are you gonna do with a blueprint
<blazemore> construct your own vagina?
<djLiKu> yes
<djLiKu> it's like ocean's 11
<djLiKu> i'm gonna plan out first with a demo

#4207 +(255)- [X]

<eldeesux0r> i used to think lysol was a lice repellent
<eldeesux0r> one day i sprayed it in my hair before i went to school cuz they were doing lice checks
<eldeesux0r> i got a rash :|

#5903 +(175)- [X]

<Gir> Final Fantasy: The Bible Adventure Coming to DVD
<Toen> what the hell is that?
<Gir> hehe
<Toen> "Cecil, deliver baby Moses! Please do not throw him into the water!"

#6810 +(8)- [X]

<Funicide> oh oui oui merci oui oh oui merci
<Funicide> awwwww oui
<Unill> french?
<Funicide> thats the sound of 2 gay dude humping in paris

#8217 +(1799)- [X]

<noskill> I was banned from my junior highs network for having every printer in the school print 5000 pages of "FEED ME PAPER!" simultaneously

#8470 +(316)- [X]

<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.

#8555 +(184)- [X]

<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though: "Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.

#11038 +(400)- [X]

<@AniDean> THIS FREAK NAMED NICKSERV KEEPS ASKING ME FOR MY PASSWORD
<+darkmind> Report him :x
<+darkmind> Or try to flood him off

#11923 +(165)- [X]

<Rann-chan> 0123.
<Rann-chan> Er, sorry. ^^;
<Reddjango> at least we know you can count to 3 ^_^
<Gary> And like a C programmer, too. :)
<Rann-chan> Of course I can. That's the number of guys a girl can take without using her hands, right? n.n

#12489 +(128)- [X]

*** CASH4GRLS has joined #toronto
<CASH4GRLS> Any Greedy Female College/Univ. Students in here want me to completely pay their for tuition?

#13728 +(190)- [X]

<Darth-Phenom> So Sumez...how was Nadine?
<Sumez> Nice
<Sumez> She liked big cocks
<Sumez> And she did oral
<Yolkhead> Luckily you are a big cock then.

#15074 +(301)- [X]

<Bryan> I need to find some vanilla cock to drink...

#16566 +(416)- [X]

<jenn> BUKKAKE!
<DogBoy> ouch
<Asmodean> bukkake? isn't that the japanese rope tying fetish?
<DogBoy> no
<prefect> you're so young and innocent, asmodean
<DogBoy> lol
<Asmodean> young.. maybe.. innocent.. no :)
<DogBoy> hmm
<DogBoy> I can't even spell that
<DogBoy> I'm gonna ask my mom what it means
<Asmodean> bukkake?
<Asmodean> oh my
<Asmodean> hitting "i am feeling lucky" in google for bukkake was umm.. *sooo* not work friendly

#20137 +(220)- [X]

[@haro] 220-You are connected to our server, please note that
[@haro] all hack attempts are reported to the FBI.
[@haro] lol, right..
[@haro] a israeli site, reporting to the fbi

#25375 +(581)- [X]

<jonathans> brooklyn rules
<jonathans> some dude just leaned on his horn in his old italian mobster car and it played the theme to the godfather

#33810 +(116)- [X]

<@igl0> i blame her , and entirley her that i m doomed to hang out in channels like #incomplete-warez

#34507 +(47)- [X]

Pron_Czar_Mike- inner city broadband is silly, like a crackhead mom with 6 kids can afford it, get it out to us middle class rural people first you bastards!

#42384 +(49)- [X]

<Supachikn> i've been getting off on my moving-to-japan thing lately
<Supachikn> so asianthumbs.org is in my cache for the last few days
<Supachikn> :(
<Demigoat> move to tokyo and become a porn star
<Demigoat> "Chen Hung Long"

#42629 +(27)- [X]

<Nagosaki>   ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;lkjh/;.lmnbv bnm./'"?:>,mcv b m,/."
<Nagosaki> "?VGbm/'
<Nagosaki> sorry
<Nagosaki> wiping off keyboard

#47959 +(235)- [X]

<Orian> Due to typing classes when I was six I have the keyboard memorized for the most part :P
<RedComet> Ori: somebody ever told you you need a life?
<Orian> Yes quite often
<BlackMage> did you ever ask what the url was?

#51240 +(258)- [X]

*** ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.EnterTheGame.Com) Quit (Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** BuM (~bum@ool-18bf3781.dyn.optonline.net) Quit (Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** igl|Quew{nBw} (~Quew@d150-29-112.home.cgocable.net) Quit (Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** deftik (~deftik@ptd-24-194-205-26.maine.rr.com) Quit (Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
<}{^{end}`sk00l> Netsplit Detected Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com from: Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com
<Nemephosis> thanks for telling us after the fact
<Nemephosis> isn't that like getting hit by a car then having someone say "dude there's a car coming"

#65222 +(245)- [X]

<Minion> I think I might have genital herpes.
<Minion> Holy fucking shit
<Minion> Why does herpes.com have a dating service?
<Minion> "I got genital herpes! Better go spread it!"

#68577 +(39)- [X]

( LiNKz )  I need to grab a good copy of Win2k server
( SpiritMaster )  my friend had it but during installation it scared him so he installed win me again

#85466 +(286)- [X]

<@crispexi> hah i think i went sober for a second there
<@crispexi> that was weird

#95326 +(2142)- [X]

<ajax> Some people...have the idea that evolution is a fucking system of...
<ajax> "oh i need flippers, i'd better grow some" type bullshit. :P
<ajax> It's more like "Oh shit look at that freak over there with the flippers hahaha OH SHIT I AM DROWNING OH GOD SAVE ME FLIPPER BOY".

#101269 +(1001)- [X]

<@Stormrider> If I got arrested and had one phone call, I'd call the police station with a bomb scare

#105832 +(945)- [X]

<Ubik> speaking of Jenga, it's the 1-year anniversery of 9/11 tomorrow

#107298 +(327)- [X]

<Xenophon> I was talking to this really cute girl, when I was on a walk with my parents. I hadn't seen her in years. After exchanging university experiences, I asked for her ph # and my dad jumped out of the woodwork and said "I'll memorize half of it for ya!"

#136840 +(543)- [X]

<Dock> Tristan: We understand, you're just brain damaged.
<Dock> We know you find those "things" fun, your POV is warped and it's OK.
<Dock> We'll all smile and talk behind your back.
<Tristan> OH YEAH
<Tristan> ATLEAST I DATE INSIDE MY SPECIES, YOU WENT OUTSIDE OF YOURS WHEN YOU DID IT WITH MY MOM
<Tristan> SO THERE

#163169 +(547)- [X]

#218099 +(255)- [X]

[+Silus]: is there anywhere you can fix graphics cards ? Pm me plz
[@foulkesaway]: what u mean 'fix'
[@madmk]: like.. he snapped it in-half and needs some special graphics-card glue

#244545 +(2219)- [X]

<Slimjim`> My parents caught me masturbating one day, and responded with making me a cake to celebrate my ascent into manhood. At the time I should have been "what the holy bejesusing fuck" but instead I was like "hey, free cake."

#244651 +(382)- [X]

Rovin: MY AUNT WENT OUT WITH IVAN FROM MEN WITHOUT HATS
Shorah: Did they practice safety sex?

#246262 +(505)- [X]

<Zardoz> Damn those blow-up sheep.
<Zardoz> I got fucking TWO of them for my 21st.
<Zardoz> wtf.
<Zardoz> from DIFFERENT PEOPLE !

#271263 +(394)- [X]

< gt3> a million people applied for the apprentice 2
< gt3> and you know damn well its just gonna get outsourced to india

#299413 +(1785)- [X]

<Simich> omg its too hot here
<Simich> and yes, hot in canada, and no, my igloo is not melting
<Simich> BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ONE
<Simich> BITCHES
<[Evil]Zen> O.o
<Rhodz> heh, we dont insult simich about being canadian so he insults himself then lashes out at us

#514344 +(374)- [X]

<GooberMan> sony were handing out PS2 condoms
<GooberMan> the cover design had condoms in the shapes of the buttons ie X, square, etc
<darknation> awesome
<darknation> I always wondered about those vibrating controllers. Now we know.

#638258 +(749)- [X]

<Tully> Without looking at your keyboard, tell me what order the letter keys are in (from left to right)

#659306 +(213)- [X]

<tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
<tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o

#700280 +(27)- [X]

<dauphin> wrath, what do you mean in a sense you're also african?
<wrath> cause i was born here
<dauphin> are you black?
<wrath> no
<GWF> yeah, you arent african wrath
<GWF> if a dog is born in a stable it doesnt make it a horse

#755629 +(529)- [X]

<+knife> i produce enough semen in one day to feed half of africa
<+msBob> no wonder they all have aids

#814698 +(2063)- [X]

<JayNiN> So yeah, guys, my dad and I had a big arguement last night...It's actually pretty fucking awkward.
<SimCard> Yeah? Tell us about.
<JayNiN> Heh, you guys aren't going to believe this...but anyways.
<JayNiN> So last night, my sister was trying to get her AOL connection shut off (yes, I know...who the fuck still uses AOL?)
<JayNiN> and I decide to go to the regional chatrooms
<JayNiN> 10 minutes in the chatroom, some random guy IMs me and is like "ASL"
<JayNiN> so I fuck around with the guy saying "19/F/WY"
<JayNiN> The guy starts tripping out and is like "omg, I'm from Wyoming!"
<JayNiN> and so I'm like "Oh, really? What part?"
<JayNiN> the guy goes "Cheyenne"...I shit myself. I'm from Cheyenne!
<JayNiN> Out of nowhere, the guy asks for my phone number...so I was feeling a bit mischievious and I wanted to have my sister talk to him and then we would just prank the guy.
<JayNiN> Well, I give the guy my number and out of nowhere he goes..."JAKE!? What the fuck!?"
<JayNiN> I trip out and I'm like "Who the hell are you? And how do you know my name/number!?"
<JayNiN> and he goes "GET THE FUCK HOME RIGHT NOW!"
<JayNiN> It was my dad...

#946424 +(368)- [X]

<Psychofreak> I have a kid (3 yo) with toys that do stuff and/or beep. Easily 100 AA batteries in JUST her toys. (although she does not play with many anymore so they are getting packed up for donation) Funny thing is we got her a wooden train set, no batteries at all, and now almost all the fancy electronic toys are left alone! We will see if this holds true for more than a few weeks.
<Psychofreak> Amazing how much more powerful imagination is than batteries.
<Anonymous Coward> Try telling that to my wife.

0.0326 20954 quotes approved; 4375 quotes pending
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