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#2025 +(392)- [X]

(synak) have you ever had to take a shit so bad, but you didnt want to leave irc that you just ended up shittign your pants? .. well, i just did .. computers are cool.

#2094 +(401)- [X]

<Miss_RPM> they used to say i was named after some chick dad saw in a dirty magazine..

#2404 +(424)- [X]

<BlackDeth> did you know i'm sitting on my toilet right now
<BlackDeth> taking a crap
<myhero> :L
<BlackDeth> i have been this whole conversation
<BlackDeth> brb wiping
*** myhero changes topic to '<BlackDeth> brb wiping'
<SD-Washu> erm k thats just wrong
<SD-Washu> you're not supposed to irc or call ppl from teh fucking bathroom
<SD-Washu> i dont fucking care if you are joking
<ryo-ohki> I do it all the time. :/
<BlackDeth> i'm back on the couch
<BlackDeth> i dont talk to people on the phone when i'm on the toilet
<BlackDeth> because they can hear the gruesome details

#2911 +(945)- [X]

* Berzerker gets hungry 
* Berzerker eats his e's 
*** Berzerker is now known as Brzrkr

#3065 +(1087)- [X]

<putnam> i got a speech from my latin teacher about how in europe its commonplace for men to cry
<putnam> and crying is so special
<putnam> i asked her if she wanted me to cry for her and she said no, stop being a pussy this is america

#4186 +(58)- [X]

<Anton> for a guess you had a shit day at work as usual?
<Alexander> just boring
<Anton> ever actually had a good day at work?
<Alexander> well ok boring and shit

#4525 +(446)- [X]

<drlion> i think all the spam broke my god damn mailbox
<drlion> porn is fucking up the internet
<drlion> and we can do nothing but watch
<RabYak> heh...nice choice of words :)
<drlion> thanks, and i don't mean idiomatically

#7250 +(449)- [X]

<yunicus> god has so many stalkers

#7374 +(524)- [X]

<[[tom]]> this game is damn addictive...
<xcon6> minesweeper?
<[[tom]]> final fantasy x
<xcon6> same thing

#7710 +(72)- [X]

<IlpaTYPER> would this have anything to do with banning Class316? heh
<Fakester> no
<Fakester> he should be banned at all times
<Fakester> IMO
<DN|PISSED> he should be klined from planet earth

#7782 +(1574)- [X]

<faustwork> she looks good
<chaommm> is she hot?
<faustwork> id bang her
<chaommm> that doesnt mean shit
<faustwork> id bang her with no beer
<chaommm> WOAH

#8846 +(300)- [X]

<IH8Pants> I was too talented for the football team
<IH8Pants> So I joined band

#10928 +(55)- [X]

<Methical> i need to get a 100 gig HD just for samples, then another 100 gig so that i cna back up everything
<Entomorph> methical, I'll give you something that's 100 gig
<thePoizon> hehe
<thePoizon> ento swingin with ol' lazy thunder again
<Entomorph> 'ol lazy thunder?
<Entomorph> more like milimeter peter

#11171 +(196)- [X]

<pupkick> i just did my first mouthrinse with the shit i was prescribed.. i've been putting it off because i was worrying about pain like i get with scope and shit.. it was hella easy.. almost even tasted good.. now i can only blame myself for infections and extra swelling =/
<blitzoid> pupkick: You knew the risks when you became a gigalo.

#11836 +(138)- [X]

<Luna`> I need to start getting out there and...
<Luna`> prodding buttocks

#14700 +(11)- [X]

<b0ing> I listen dark evil jungle and pounding acidy goa, not happy 'i love you, you love me, lets go in the bathroom and fuck because we are fags' music.

#22856 +(297)- [X]

(Gr0wleh) ouch
(Gr0wleh) I just hit myself
(Gr0wleh) in the balls
(Gr0wleh) brb while I wince in pain
(Gr0wleh) this... hurts
(Gr0wleh) had my hands on top of my head
(Gr0wleh) and they slipped off

#29003 +(800)- [X]

<nosliwc156> So I walk in to the living room, and Patricks watching Hanson on TV...
<nosliwc156> he turns around to me, and says "I would so totally do her"
<nosliwc156> and all I could think to do was turn around, and walk out...

#31558 +(167)- [X]

<ginger> my summer was alright i guess, went to the beach and met a couple guys blah hehe
<ginger> still a virgin

#34153 +(173)- [X]

<[COOLIO]> could someone tell me what this error means? -> [Thu Sep 19 04:04:31 2002] [warn] long lost child came home! (pid 10048)
<mezcal> it means you can notify the police and tell them everything is ok now.

#43741 +(657)- [X]

<snowzone> well that's weird. i just got memory access violations from a windows program and it DIDN'T crash...
<Olafsson> it violated another program but the other program must have liked it..

#48208 +(426)- [X]

<v-ger> it's fun to hate people online - it's like a video game and sensitive people's feelings are like quad damage

#49547 +(399)- [X]

<@martini> my weed dealer, was drunk last night
<@martini> and she started feeling me up
<@rommel> lol
<@rommel> did you advance?
<@martini> i said "call me when you sober up"
<@rommel> aw, you weren't lookin for some butt that night?
<@martini> not at that very moment
<@martini> shit was crazy
<@martini> too many things going on at once
<@kvm> u were chewing gum then?
<@martini> har har
<@rommel> HAHAHAHA
<@rommel> owned.

#50412 +(7)- [X]

<LB|homework> holy fuck, this log in my ass is no longer just a pieceful log floating in assjuices, its somehow become a battaring ram of "holy fuck i got to go"

#54343 +(1521)- [X]

* Lilmuckers hugs iphopper
* iphopper reciprocates the hug
* Lilmuckers grabs iphoppers lowest common factor and makes it proportianal to 1 over 2
* iphopper primes lil's hug
* Lilmuckers differentiates iphopper gradient
* Lilmuckers takes the second differential to work out the highest and lowest points
* Lilmuckers looks about at the assembled masses confused faces and blushes
* iphopper tries to find lil's limit as it approaches x, and the derivative of that value
<ragnarok2040> okay, who said maths geeks could cyber in here?

#55341 +(833)- [X]

<whiskers> wtf
<whiskers> my sister just called me from her room
<whiskers> told me to turn down the music
<Spyder|TV> crank it
<torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT
<Kinuvan> CRANK IT
*whiskers turns up the music
<whiskers>i hear steps
*** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)

#56044 +(1616)- [X]

DasKrav: Know what I hate?
DasKrav: Repeating myself.
Destroy_Boy2000: What?
DasKrav: I said I hate repeating myself
Destroy_Boy2000: Huh?
DasKrav: I SAID I HATE-
DasKrav: Oh wait
DasKrav: YOU FUCKING QUEEF

#61535 +(1381)- [X]

<Slime> I saw a headline on the newspaper today: "Horrific Rape in Alley", or something.
<Slime> I was like "Is there any other kind of rape?"
<Slime> "HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED"

#62223 +(134)- [X]

<shoe_> when i watched the two towers the other day... it hit me ddenly
<shoe_> WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE?

#62685 +(483)- [X]

<puppydo> what speed do you burn svcd at?...is 48X ok?
<_super_> 12
<_super_> never 48
<_super_> no
<_super_> never go that fast fools
<_super_> think of the reader
<_super_> give it a break
<_super_> why stress the dvd player
<_super_> trying to read at 48x
<_super_> stupid
<_super_> just slow that shit down
<_super_> just because a burner is fast is no reason to go that fast
<_super_> it isnt that fast anyway only on the edges
<_super_> so cd has all kinds of speed on it
<_super_> fluctuates
<_super_> too mnuch
<ciscosyko> wait a minute..are u telling them if they write the cd fast the dvd has to read it at that speed?
<_super_> yes
* ciscosyko stares at super for a minute and wanders off

#72079 +(330)- [X]

<markogogo> :(
<markogogo> I try and try and try....
<markogogo> ... and nothing comes out of it.
<Yellow-Snow> try using the other hand mark

#76402 +(374)- [X]

<Darric> Dammit. Nothings working.
<Darric> Maybe my connection died.
<Darric> Or maybe.... the LAN server died.
<Darric> Or... THE WORLD'S OVER.
<Head> that sycks
<Head> sucks even
<Darric> Oh. You're still here.
<Darric> False alarm, everyone.

#88320 +(182)- [X]

|N3O| (XP@ACC014A1.ipt.aol.com) is now known as windowsxp
<+windowsxp> thought a nick like this would be taken
<+windowsxp> guess whoevers computer who had this nick before crashed

#99796 +(6)- [X]

<Bizznatch> my dick is 3 inches long
<chris> thats small.
<DrunkenMaster> sad
<Bizznatch> yus
<deathazre> chris: not for a 3 year old
<Bizznatch> death
<chris> ...
<Bizznatch> so you look at 3 year old's cocks every once in a while
<chris> :D
* deathazre has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Bizznatch> THE TRUTH HURTS
<Bizznatch> ...
<Bizznatch> :P
<incubus_chick> o.O

#101881 +(2501)- [X]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

#105209 +(369)- [X]

<omega> it was funny
<omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of these latley, about the us)
<omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
<omega> like
<omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
<omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
<omega> gave him weapons
<omega> and shit
<omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama, and then had to later go in and get him
<omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
<omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
<omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
<omega> and then he stopped talking

#106186 +(249)- [X]

[WaRe-WoLf] you know i gotta find a girl, get her pregnant so i can have a kid to dig around with those cables behind the tv

#152578 +(801)- [X]

join: (RIAArep) (LucerinRd@128.163.205.182)
(+Xelopheri) ::: Metallica - The Call of Ktulu : 8:53 : 128kbps : Joint Stereo :::.
(+Xelopheri) oh shit!

#205825 +(697)- [X]

* Quits: Serge (Connection reset by peer)
* Joins: Abe
<Locke|Away> Have you considred sacrificing a pig to appease the evil spirits plaguing your internet connection, Serge?  Western medicine seems to have failed you.
<Abe> well, right now it all comes down to the network engineer's bad back. if he hadn't hurt his back, he would have fixed it by now; as it is, he's off until monday
<Locke|Away> Well, have you considered sacrificing a pig for his back?  An evil dab may have followed him home from work.  It might be eating his marrow.
<Locke|Away> Look, I'm hungry and I want some fucking bacon.  Just kill a pig already.

#246241 +(282)- [X]

--> Kelle has joined #vendetta
<StarFreeze> What goes up must come down. You're gonna run out of Viagra soon enough.
<Kelle> I came in here at the WRONG time..

#246405 +(10560)- [X]

<[BAC]Draxon|TWL>  "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK

#301558 +(628)- [X]

<angeles> i really shouldnt take you seriously should i
<hoyhoy> sure
<hoyhoy> it makes the channel amusing for the rest of us
<angeles> i'm pretty gullible
<hoyhoy> angeles: LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY , I AM MR. TIJANI YUSUFU CREDIT OFFFICER WITH THE UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC (UBA) BENIN BRANCH, I CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION,WHICH INVOLVES TRANSFERING HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE

#419746 +(36)- [X]

<worstazn> yo i need to find a new bitch..
<mejmanyme> k i have a plan
<mejmanyme> you running windows or linux?
<worstazn> winxp....
<mejmanyme> k, hit start and then "run"
<mejmanyme> type in "cmd"
<mejmanyme> after commandprompt opens
<mejmanyme> type currentbitch /release
<mejmanyme> then currentbitch /renew
<mejmanyme> now type currentbitch /all and send the results

#447942 +(410)- [X]

<T-Dragonus> Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your pants!"
<T-Dragonus> Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole in there now."

#449100 +(413)- [X]

<Nalfein> A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer.

#598430 +(1715)- [X]

<shwatta> never drinking again
<shwatta> went out yesterday for a few lunch time beers in the city right
<shwatta> those 'few' turned into lots
<shwatta> woke up at 9am the next day in a park down by the beach which is 30 kilometres away from the city... no phone, no wallet, no memory, blood all over myself with no obvious wounds
<shwatta> the weirdest thing was that in my hands there was this little statue of a hindu god with a massive grin on its face

#669963 +(2536)- [X]

* | gets lazy
* | is now known as _

#673145 +(327)- [X]

Dudespunk7: 90% of domestic abuse happens due to shitty compaq products.
Dudespunk7: They don't want to ruin their expensive shit so they take it out on the wife, or kids.
Famethrow1: and because that bitch doesn't vacuum.
Dudespunk7: Exactly.

#737902 +(100)- [X]

obscurityusa: i showed my roomate ftw.generation
obscurityusa: he's... he's not talking to me anymore....
obscurityusa: like first random he gets is the hulk getting butt raped by capt. america

#797153 +(4024)- [X]

Slimtoad20: US Airways flight 404 is flying through the Bermuda Triangle today.
Slimtoad20: Yeah, that one doesn't stand a chance.

0.0795 21077 quotes approved; 497 quotes pending
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