#56 +(1267)- [X]
<Wind-X> and penis butter and jelly make a good sandwich
#186 +(433)- [X]
<WhiteLife> i just looked at the ingredients to herbal ecstasy
<WhiteLife> ITS THE SAME THING AS MY SECRET FORMULA :(
#688 +(414)- [X]
<watashi^_> There are 177wks 3days 3mins 44secs until Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson are legal! I can't wait! d:D->=<
#709 +(720)- [X]
<|Chris> how many straight edge kids does it take to drink a six pack?
<|Chris> 1, if no one's looking
#1332 +(444)- [X]
<D1> today, I started the supermodel diet.
<maff> that must be a step up from the all sperm diet you were on
#2082 +(724)- [X]
<Brentai> Michael who?
<TonsOfFun-MasterToSmallGirls> J. Fox, Brent.
<Brentai> Oh, he's only mostly dead.
<Thom> Hutchence. An Australian rock star of little talent.
<Thom> Died having a wank.
<Brentai> Poor guy.
<Thom> Whilst hanging off've the back of a door by his tie.
<DigiGnome> His last words were "OH GOD! I'm COMING!" He never knew how right he was.
#5362 +(284)- [X]
<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if my policy covers gangland shootouts."
#6215 +(201)- [X]
[giR`] WTF am i supposed to do with all of these TV's!!!!
[zimm] ever heard of surround vision?
[zimm] daisy chain them or something
#7707 +(215)- [X]
<ShrikeX> DNS IS BACK
<Damascus`> and it's better than ever.
#7892 +(53)- [X]
#8731 +(500)- [X]
<cams> i dont like risking it. you can never tell if that "Lesbian House Party" hardcore porn turns out to be "Donky Anal Rape"
<Meat_PoPs> or vise versa
#9605 +(444)- [X]
<SaBaS> brb. food stuck in throat
#11264 +(1151)- [X]
<Saber> I had a full can of soda
<Saber> and I slipped
<Saber> and dropped it above my KB
<Saber> and I caught it
<Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
<Saber> so I inverted it
<Saber> and it turns out
<Saber> it was rightside up
#11343 +(172)- [X]
<@FoX> for the record
<@FoX> she never cybered me
<@FoX> i cybered her
<@FoX> oh yeh....did i forget to mention i kept gettign the message no such Nick/Channel
#13634 +(348)- [X]
<me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the curse
<Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct, being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is also clearly labelled.
#22658 +(394)- [X]
<nae> will you guys PLZZ stop that?
<nae> are there any mods around that can ban them plz?
<@Athene> nae: what is the problem?
<nae> correct me if i'm wrong but isn't this channel for d/l?
<@Athene> no, this is a chat channel
<nae> isn't htere any law against spamming?
<nae> slyspy hold 1 out of every two messages in here!
<@slyspy> nothing unusual in that
<@Athene> that is called a conversation
<@Athene> maybe you have had one before
<@Athene> or at least seen them in movies ;)
<nae> then can you plz convirsate in a new chat??? cause it blocks 0.7 of my d/l's speed!
#30264 +(278)- [X]
* Ricyn watches the wind knock someone over outside
<Jedah> don't ya love hurricanes?
* Ricyn checks weatherbug.
<Ricyn> 60mph gusts
<Jedah> this sounds like a fun time to parasail
<Ricyn> yeah, just run into the street and jump
#37389 +(384)- [X]
<picklehammer> im gay too
<picklehammer> oops wrong room
#37619 +(611)- [X]
<DB> So, anyone have a secret to immortality they would like to share with me?
<Nidoking> Don't die.
#38091 +(916)- [X]
(%nickster) my moms gonna be a helper at a school
(%nickster) for mentally handicapped people
(@starbucks_mafia) thats great
(@starbucks_mafia) you'll get to see her more often now
#38258 +(322)- [X]
<brent> I think when you check all the empty beer cans you have a problem on your hands
<sledge> and that would be no more beer
#38687 +(353)- [X]
<Creedy> fucking jesus
<Creedy> i have to kill that bitch
<logicalentity> the romans beat ya
#39711 +(293)- [X]
#39785 +(1032)- [X]
<Haunter> Some ultra-Christian girl said "Jesus loves you" to me today, and I said "Just me?" She said, "No, he loves everyone." So I collapsed in fake tears and started wailing, yelling "What kind of a healthy relationship is THAT supposed to be? I gave 15 years of my life to that man, and he's going around loving EVERYONE?"
#40502 +(246)- [X]
<Perryman> my vacuum blows
<DooMStalK> Perryman: You know, a lot of people have ended up in the hospital with embarrassing injuries because they thought their vacuum "blows"
#44823 +(395)- [X]
X3R0G33Z: wut do u mean typing like an aol dumbass
#45113 +(456)- [X]
<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively
#46846 +(19)- [X]
<Girl_Type_Zhanma> I LOVE irl... the internet can go suck cock in hell for all i care XP
#50521 +(187)- [X]
<My`Albanian`Ass> why u miss me?
<My`Albanian`Ass> how bad
<My`Albanian`Ass> bad enough to masturbate urself infront of a mirror while wearing a face mask that looks like my face?
#50610 +(252)- [X]
<EazyCheez> I know this girl who is really hot and sweet, a Big Beautiful Woman... she makes my Captain stand at attention
<sqweak> hollywood lied
<sqweak> big is not beautiful
<EazyCheez> she's 5'2 and 305 or something, but I don't care... woo hoo she's wild!
<TreeSquid> EazyCheez: HOLY FUCK
<sqweak> DEAR GOD MAN
<sqweak> that's a fucking keg on legs!
<TreeSquid> that is disgusting, and you are a crazy piece of shit
<antivert> hungry hungry hippos!
<TreeSquid> don't ever talk to me again
<TreeSquid> that's just plain nasty
<sqweak> how the fuck do you squeeze 300 lbs into 5'2
<sqweak> thats like, 5 lbs an INCH!
#57059 +(787)- [X]
<cgirl> Wouldn't it suck to find a dead body
<InCDeathmeister> male or female?
#62902 +(328)- [X]
<MaNiAk> damnit damnit
<MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit
<Psyko> what kinda porn?
<MaNiAk> not even porn
<Andaru> German Scheisse
<MaNiAk> its lolita porn
* Psyko pretends he's not interested
<Psyko> ew lolita porn
<haylo> Thats horrible.
* haylo clicks
* Psyko clicks as well
#72623 +(770)- [X]
<palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in them, oh and they were really easy :)
<blindwork> the girls or the classes?
#80765 +(21)- [X]
<DMBot> 747. "They have an acceleration of WHAT ?!"
<lnp4668> around 400 miles/hour.
#101283 +(508)- [X]
<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you had cousins as hot as mine."
#105555 +(130)- [X]
<+fury> i envy cary... he's half my age and gets access to all the goodies :/
<@Chen> How old are you?
#117663 +(479)- [X]
*** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc
<Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch!
<screevo> Doesnt that hurt?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!
#123569 +(669)- [X]
<Swap_File> hey, how many PSI are blow up dolls inflated to, generally?
#141226 +(191)- [X]
<Elise> hey do u have the compu wholesale purchase order at all?
<logik> why do u need it
<Elise> cause im attaching the invoice and entering it in myob then i need to do the billing ....
<Elise> why do u ask?
<Elise> have u eaten it or something?
<logik> nah you see
<logik> the thing is
<logik> there was no toilet paper around
#239106 +(301)- [X]
[zekester] who the hell likes siliconed up tits
[DreadQ] any tit is better than no tit
[DreadQ] except them ones you pay some ho 10 bucks in the park to flash
[zekester] 10 bucks to flash?
[zekester] you can get a baseball bat for 10 bucks and that'll get you more than a flash
#294137 +(383)- [X]
<Bubbaprog> my posters came from the museum of modern art
<Bubbaprog> three huuuge art prints, magritte and miro, for 20 buckls shipped
<Bubbaprog> you should see the giant bazooka they came in
<Bubbaprog> it's like a tampon applicator for rosie o'donnell
#471421 +(11)- [X]
DorianB81: jesus was a humble man
DorianB81: hed drive a ford focus
#513887 +(619)- [X]
Ford_Prefect: I\'m at 2.0 MBPS!!
Navi00: What kinda connection?\\
JK-63: With your cantenna.
Ford_Prefect: no, I am using my standard antenna
Navi00: wtf is a cantenna?!
Ford_Prefect: because I need the connector for my cantenna
JK-63: It\'s a little antenna that can.
Ford_Prefect: works better
JK-63: You know the story, right?
JK-63: The little antenna that pushed the signal through the wall?
* Zortexia sits down for the story
Ford_Prefect: HE was having trouble carrying data fast enough
JK-63: And then, a strange packet came along.
JK-63: And encouraged him, because the packet was from A STRANGE ROUTER! *gasp*
* Zortexia gasps!
Ford_Prefect: I think I can
Ford_Prefect: I think I ca
Ford_Prefect: I think I can
JK-63: The cantenna pushed and pushed as hard as he could, and got a signal through to the strange router!
Zortexia: yay for cantenna!
Ford_Prefect: and downloaded an entire copy
Ford_Prefect: of microsoft XP
Ford_Prefect: in one hour
* Zortexia eyes get big
Navi00: That is the most adorable thing I\'ve ever heard
Ford_Prefect: *pirated I might add
Zortexia: then what happened
Ford_Prefect: he lived happily ever after leaching off of other people\'s wireless connectiong
Navi00: heh heh heh heh
JK-63: And the hacker driving the cantenna was very happy with his new copy of Windows XP.
Ford_Prefect: the end
#612046 +(1673)- [X]
<koharski> heh, my dad "hey, can you run some CAT5 into my room?"
<koharski> apparently he wants to "check his email in bed"
<koharski> yesterday the router was blinking alot in my room
<koharski> so I went upstairs and knocked on his door
<koharski> "get any interesting emails?"
<koharski> he told me to go to bed :(
#635335 +(891)- [X]
<Doc> All this pollen is killing me, You can see the green clouds of it floating in the air.
<Doc> pollen is just tree sperm...
<Doc> I feel like mother nature just gave me a facial..
#675097 +(675)- [X]
<JaKa> In soviet russia, you must kill a kitten to masturbate
#724962 +(1773)- [X]
<VFR8> I was driving home today and I saw the best license plate
<VFR8> 56K SRY
#753830 +(1541)- [X]
<Chipper> Hexidecimal counting systems are awesome!
<Chipper> On a scale from 1 to 10, I give them an E
#840746 +(854)- [X]
<Deco> Two pakis in a Golf tried to cut in in front of me and nearly hit my car. Then they followed me even though it was their fault. They stopped next to me at the next set of traffic lights and the passenger said "I'll follow you home". I replied "Follow me to your mom's". You've never seen me drive as fast as I did trying to get away from them.
<Deco> I loved the look of his face, though.
#877115 +(262)- [X]
WiTriDi: hmm so he got even more raged than you
Searanger: k thnx bye
WiTriDi: your leaving me
WiTriDi: i will not stand for this
WiTriDi: how can we keep our relationship alive
WiTriDi: if you keep ignoring me
WiTriDi: are you even listening
WiTriDi: GOD I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I TRY
Searanger: i go to the washroom for 1 minute
Searanger: and u serve me divorce papers