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#616 +(125)- [X]

<Saige> cureobsession is a guy who might be cute, but you can't tell from the low-quality pictures

#751 +(1070)- [X]

[reidman   ) why is there an ad for Windows Media Player on the Apple Quicktime site??
[|Dan|     ) god only knows why
[|Dan|     ) and he's laughing

#1585 +(2682)- [X]

<vortex502> 3+5
<vortex502> oops
<vortex502> thought i had the calculator prog. open

#2425 +(59)- [X]

<gb> tip of penis stuck to underwear after jackin

#3011 +(241)- [X]

<Viscant> cockblock (COK'blok) n. 1. to stop in the sexual escapading by another willfully and wantonly. 2. to deflect the cock "viscant was eyeing ricky ortiz lustily until arturo cockblocked him"

#6994 +(654)- [X]

<mgod> weights 300 or something 
<mgod> she sez she has a thyroid problem
<bats> um i didn't know nabisco made thyroids

#7010 +(64)- [X]

<`Kd> theres another good spelling leason

#7529 +(85)- [X]

<yunicus> i could fuckin crack your head like a walnut with my clit

#8711 +(23)- [X]

<JtHM> http://members.cox.net/image.server/nat-portman-pikey.jpg <- hrmmmm
<shpongle> jt - shes going commando !
<JtHM> she's going on an archeological dig!

#9031 +(579)- [X]

<DJTodd> My sister in law once asked me if it counted as sex if she fucked some guy but didn't kiss him.
<DJTodd> She's a real brain.

#10676 +(44)- [X]

<ZackSmurf> ur a gay cs whore rnt u skratch
<[-FeC-]sKratch> other than the gay and whore part, yes

#10781 +(296)- [X]

<Jed_D`Lagged> I don' tknow, I really woulden't want a penis I coulden't hide under my desk.
<Jed_D`Lagged> Or one that would take more than one hand to masturbate
<Farnarcle> did i miss something

#11395 +(317)- [X]

<dine-sa> no it won't MoP, amusment park jobs actually suck
<dine-sa> I had a friend who worked at six flags all summer.
<SA-MoP> dine had a friend! *dies* :D
<SA-Metathrom> Hehe
<dine-sa> :P it was before I had a modem
<SA-MoP> lol ok

#14843 +(319)- [X]

<Azadre> Computers kick ass
<Western_Chee> my gaydar totally wasnt functioning today
<Azadre> My ass hurts
<Western_Chee> i was about to buy shit from express for men
*** Western_Chee was kicked by Puedlfor (Puedlfor)
*** Azadre was kicked by Puedlfor (Puedlfor)
<RunninRaven> Pued, you are a saint
<Puedlfor> I do what I can

#16062 +(111)- [X]

<Robzilla> yeah, you know merc, you should share your gf
<Robzilla> givin im sharin my winxp :)

#16979 +(297)- [X]

<mgt> i can't find any good porn anymore tho
<mgt> i like reading stories now
<mgt> it gets my imagination going
<mgt> the trick is getting yourself to actually believe they are true
<mgt> and not written by some fat horny star trek fan

#17991 +(259)- [X]

<destruct> my boss just said  o/~ be a man o/~
<archon> did he say it while removing his belt?

#22754 +(548)- [X]

* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb

#23370 +(170)- [X]

(@{basara}): i can live with aaygo being texan and i can live with mos and his love for the male genatalia but i draw the line at a DIET drink

#40905 +(75)- [X]

(WillJitsu) how do I tell BitchX to use a certain port range for dcc transfers?
(nyisles) /disco DCCportrange <port1> <portwhatever>
(WillJitsu) hmm  that's not working
(WillJitsu) ACiDDoG is the one running BitchX
() join/#bitchx (ACiDDoG!~willjitsu@cpe-024-165-204-216.midsouth.rr.com)..
(ACiDDoG) me
(ACiDDoG) so I type:  /disco DCCportrange 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) right?
(shattah) yeah
(nyisles) yes
() signoff/#bitchx.. ACiDDoG (DCCportrange 5990 6000)
(WillJitsu) funny joke
(WillJitsu) seriously, how do you change it?
(nyisles) /exec -o yes dcc_port_range num1 num2
(WillJitsu) is that another joke?
(nyisles) No
(nyisles) enough humor for one night
(WillJitsu) -:- No target for this window for -OUT
(nyisles) WillJitsu: you have to be connected first
(nyisles) and i think in a channel as well
() join/#bitchx (ACiDDoG!~willjitsu@cpe-024-165-204-216.midsouth.rr.com)..
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
() signoff/#bitchx.. ACiDDoG (Excess Flood)

#43132 +(381)- [X]

<Celia> la la la
* Archy` stretches and slowly moves arm around Craig
<Archy`> oops
<Archy`> damn TAB
<Archy`> erm....
<@Azhrarn> HAH

#50087 +(586)- [X]

<Gartt> 60% of girls first kiss is with another girl
<LatinoReheat> that is a most sexy statistic

#52978 +(377)- [X]

<FLB> once sex tv showed a room full of women masturbating
<FLB> it was an "orgasm class"
<FLB> and they all go there
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> did you tape it?
<FLB> and in a group
<FLB> finger themselves.
<FLB> Umm
<FLB> No.
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> bastard
<FLB> I was uhh....
<FLB> taking notes?

#57008 +(385)- [X]

DasKrav: We were playing a review game in history class, on the topic of the roman empire
DasKrav: The game was like this: The class divides into 8 groups, and one person rotates with the rest of the group in jeapordy-style questions,
DasKrav: and the question was "What was the name of the emperor who built a wall in britain?"
DasKrav: and nobody knew it, so he said "Here's a hint: Its named after him."
DasKrav: and so this one jock guy in my class goes,
DasKrav: "Berlin?"

#71815 +(174)- [X]

<kichigai> *:-}8 8-   transvestite

#75995 +(141)- [X]

<geekster> ssh on 56k is about as fun as a frontal labotomy with a chainsaw
<geekster> and don't even thing about downloading anything, then it's like castration with the same chainsaw, after the labotomy

#79825 +(674)- [X]

<Hiryuu> Hey, which is more evil, kicking puppies or tearing those tags off of mattresses?
<Estelle> Puppies heal, matresses don't

#81215 +(212)- [X]

ErikB -> you know what is funny? i can measure my level of health by playing quake2. when i eat bad, sleep irregular and drink much, i play like shit. when i skate, take vitamin pills and sleep good i rule the scene. vitamin C is the key

#100203 +(344)- [X]

<devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
<devilc0ck> guess who'z d/l'ing turtle power
<devilc0ck> guess who'z got the ninja rap..
<fingers> guess who's all alone in thinking how kewl that is

#115781 +(708)- [X]

<noddy> oops, i banned tgo last night and forgot to remove it :/
<Mortarion> yes you did
<noddy> sorry dude :*(
<The_Gifted_One> yeah, u whore :P
<noddy> :/
<Mortarion> am i gonna have to start checking the ban list when i get up every morning again?
<noddy> again!?
<Mortarion> yes, when i first gave you ops i'd have to check the banlist, usually you hadn't banned anyone in particular, you'd just filled it up with crap banmasks
<Mortarion> i got up one morning and like 40 countries had been banned
<The_Gifted_One> ROFL

#171987 +(14796)- [X]

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

#221002 +(269)- [X]

<TKD-Azmodeux> I'm embezzling all the clan funds into jerkin's hand lotion.
<TKD-Strider> Why do you need that?
<TKD-Azmodeux> ...Yes...why indeed...

#238914 +(423)- [X]

<nien_rima> actually, jaffars right there
<Jaffar> Oh for the love of Christ, shut the Hell --
<Jaffar> Oh wait.
<Jaffar> You were agreeing with me.
<Jaffar> Nevermind then, carry on.

#284014 +(959)- [X]

<Max> I went to donate some money to bash.org today
<Max> I clicked the Paypal Donate button, and it comes up with the message:
<Max> Bash.org Paypal Donation attempt #56489 pending
<Max> *two minutes later*
<Max> Bash.org Paypal Donation attempt #56489 rejected

#301270 +(900)- [X]

<senorperrito> jesus christ my moms a n00b
<senorperrito> she walked into my room and asked what i was doing and i told her i was burning CDs
<senorperrito> she was like do you want me to open a window so u have ventilation?

#339458 +(1419)- [X]

<Monsoon`> people are stupider than previously imagined
<Monsoon`> My roommate talked to a customer today, told him to right-click on something.  So the customer got a pen and paper, and proceeded to write "click" on it.

#363820 +(1825)- [X]

<Duzzy> today at work, i was cutting gras outside the local school.. and then a chick came up to me.. kissed me, squeezed my balls, gave me a note and the she ran of.. and i was like wtf?!? when I got my mind gathered I looked at the note and there was a phone number.. I should send an sms to it, and that was when I realized the bitch had stolen my cellphone =(

#397491 +(383)- [X]

BUMKEI: wanna go to the republican national convention
sKratch: pony it
BUMKEI: assassinate bush
sKratch: fbi gonna get you
BUMKEI: ill just hand him a bag of pretzels

#426275 +(1959)- [X]

Be1ial: remember the old arcade games that had a message from the president about saying no to drugs?
Krizkor: haha yeah.
Krizkor: because of that blue screen before mortal kombat, i stayed off drugs.
Krizkor: but unfortunately, i began pulling people's spines out.

#571902 +(369)- [X]

* PotSmoker has quit IRC (Broken pipe)
<careyasd> that's why you smoke joints

#577451 +(10382)- [X]

<DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
<DmncAtrny> and run like hell

#603885 +(575)- [X]

<MrCoffee> Your mom is such a whore, if she was a chmod she'd be 777 because everyone has access

#650342 +(710)- [X]

<Sam> But why is it 69 and not 96?
<Sam> Oh wait...
<Tim> :/ Thats a weird fetish and I don't want to know what it is :(

#750346 +(940)- [X]

<tastycake> anyone know of a voice changer program
<denke> ya
<denke> its called puberty

#760869 +(200)- [X]

<Randy`> took duey 2 hours to complete the vista cycle
<Randy`> from 'I'm going to install vista' to 'vista ftl'

#775579 +(171)- [X]

Sunspot: They don't make 'em like they used to. That's all I have to say.
Bobby: Nope, they sure don't.
***Sunspot jumps in his Time Machine (don't forget the flux capacitor) and goes back to watch some cartoons.
Sunspot: Seriously. I want to get a Delorean and ducttape a blender on top.
Sunspot: Sad thing is, very few people would get the joke.
Sunspot: And even sadder, I'm saddled with a Delorean with a blender duct-taped to the top.

#787031 +(3189)- [X]

<obm>If they make a Nano Iphone, I may be interested.
<obm>oh, or an iphone shuffle, no screen and it phones random people

#814243 +(5375)- [X]

<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

#875655 +(2638)- [X]

<rizerz> A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
<rizerz> can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him
<rizerz> looking for work in six weeks.'
<rizerz> A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one
<rizerz> person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
<rizerz> A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we
<rizerz> can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have
<rizerz> them both looking for work in two weeks.'
<rizerz> A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind.  We
<rizerz> took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House, and
<rizerz> now half the country is looking for work.

#903821 +(1278)- [X]

<StanM> Pussy is like MP3s
<StanM> For every one who pays for it, theres thousands more getting it for free.

0.0846 21096 quotes approved; 1596 quotes pending
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