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#14 +(2125)- [X]

<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS

#242 +(2010)- [X]

<McMoo> An infinite number of monkeys, on an infinite number of typewriters, will eventually produce the collected works of Shakespeare. John Romero's Daikatana was a ten-minute, five-monkey job.

#281 +(346)- [X]

*** Joins: root (kode54@excellent.I.found.yourdads.cc)

#642 +(293)- [X]

<Techbert> I'm an idiot, it's your fault for confusing me. :P

#731 +(421)- [X]

<reptile-> My friend and I took a bunch of fucked up CDs
<reptile-> and labeled them with various things
<reptile-> like
<reptile-> "PRE-TEEN SEX"
<reptile-> "GAY PORN"
<reptile-> "RAPED AND IMPREGNATED TEENS"
<reptile-> etc, etc.
<reptile-> and like stuck the "PRE-TEEN SEX" one in the window of the kindergarten.
<reptile-> and stuck one that said "CHILD SEX" under the bigtoy at primary school
<reptile-> I wish I could have seen the reactions from the people that found the CDs. :|

#3052 +(789)- [X]

<WillaCuz> shervin did u say u had a woman?
<shervin> WillaCuz: yeah but its losing pressure, i think it has a hole or something

#3321 +(741)- [X]

<Road> { private: long member; }
<Road> but for me, that would be a long long
<DAL9000> Road: you'd have to cast it to a char though.
<Road> DAL9000: Hmm, that would cause an overflow
<DAL9000> hah.
<DAL9000> no big deal, i hear you always prematurely core dump anyway
<Road> hahah, ouch
<DAL9000> I COUNTER YOUR GEEK COUNTER WITH AN EVEN GEEKIER COUNTER.

#4392 +(162)- [X]

<Alien> Licking lead is like inviting a bunch of friends into your mouth but then cancer crashes the party

#4924 +(1021)- [X]

<reuben> you're like people with bumper stickers.
<reuben> telling the same lines over and over and over again.
<reuben> anything witty is only witty once
<reuben> hey
<reuben> that would be a good bumper sticker

#5990 +(456)- [X]

<zer0man> i wish someone told me that having a girlfriend was going to be difficult
<zer0man> or if they told me that, I wish i listened

#6629 +(25)- [X]

<markd2> kompressor is not dancing
<evand> kompressor does not funk
<markd2> kompressor needs therapy

#8379 +(1039)- [X]

<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????///////////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude

#8679 +(31)- [X]

<toNe> Nall is like an xbox
<Nall> thank you
<toNe> big, heavy, not fun, and useless!
<Soopa> good graphics though...
<Soopa> and easy to develop for...
<toNe> and you have to pay extra to get all the features
<Soopa> and will be dead in a year
<acetonic> and Bill Gates spends Billions on it
<Nall> who will die

#12154 +(129)- [X]

<Kibe-Work> btw
<Kibe-Work> wednesday adventure world
<Kibe-Work> my work is going
<Kibe-Work> well most of us
<Semicidal> AHehAEh cool]
<Psycho1> heh Internet admins at adventure world be like Black people at a KKK meating.

#14083 +(466)- [X]

<Entwife>  I sometimes think we have one collective mind here that we just pass around occasionally
<Entwife>  when we aren't using it as a coaster or something

#14139 +(229)- [X]

<Choc> CARDIFF: Twelve people have been taken to hospital after Spanish world title contender Carlos Sainz's Ford left the road and hit spectators at the British rally here.
<morty> they were obviously cheering for another driver

#14449 +(1172)- [X]

<@harb> Sith are like the script kiddies of Force users.
<@harb> They all have silly handles.
<@harb> "Darth Maul", "Darth Sidious", "Darth Tyranous".
<@harb> "d00d ur most l33t l3tz g0 own sum j3di lol"
< mdxi> <ObiWan> Do not turn ot the Dark Side, Anakin
< mdxi> <an4k1n> STFU F4G
<@harb> <tyr4nous> d00d j0in m3 w3 c4n pwn 2gether!!
<@harb> <ObiWan> I'll never join you, Dooku.
<@harb> <tyr4nous> suk

#16900 +(8)- [X]

#20064 +(361)- [X]

<Prozzy> I would, i have a scanner right next to me, BUT THINK OF THE [FUTURE] CHILDREN. I'd hate to tell my kid with downs syndrome that they're fucked up cuz i scanned my nuts.

#27306 +(352)- [X]

(timmo) her boobies are fake
(timmo) ;[
[nyisles] hmm
[nyisles] are they photoshopped
[nyisles] ?
[Guilty] No
[Guilty] They're implants

#40498 +(527)- [X]

<cygnus> in windows
<cygnus> what it mean
<cygnus> if the folder has a hand underneaath it
<Sephiroth> means it is shared
<Sephiroth> across your network
<cygnus> how did you know that
<cygnus> i thought it meant it was heavy or something
<cygnus> like
<cygnus> it's got 10 gigs in it

#41652 +(335)- [X]

<skwerrel> sigh...sometimes i really wish i could just ignore my brain and become a christian

#43827 +(173)- [X]

*** NinjaStu listens to abba - dancing queen
*** suds listens to a-teens - dancing queen
*** EvilJoven listens to Bitchy Customer - My Webpage Isnt Working (Why wont you die remix)
*** Fraggy plays 'Trance Control - Welcome to the House'

#45913 +(223)- [X]

<@DocGonzo> yeh, my gf + monitor was 109lbs
<@DocGonzo> and it wasnt even trinitron
<usunoro> your gf weighs like 60lb?
<usunoro> she's TINY
<@DocGonzo> er, i mean g4

#47941 +(572)- [X]

<pagan> have you ever sneezed while taking a shit?
<pagan> explosive reaction, to say the least
<goatgirl> you even been inside a woman when she sneezes?
<goatgirl> major vagina clench
<Juxta> yay for vagina clentch
<goatgirl> i usually sneeze 5 times in a row
<goatgirl> just think, 5 vaginal clenches is quick succession
<pagan> im gonna throw ground peper in my wifes face tonight when im fucking her :D
<goatgirl> hahahah

#49474 +(26)- [X]

<sk8er^BzY> But i want to have Sex
<sk8er^BzY> when i press sex

#51758 +(322)- [X]

<LADYCHUMY> rebooting everyone
*** LADYCHUMY has quit IRC (Quit: U asked me whom I luv d most , i said my life, u cried n turned away, tears fell coz u left abt 2 say ur my life...)
<Viggo> hmmm
<Viggo> that sentiment was ruined by AOL slang

#52155 +(359)- [X]

<-- debutante has quit (This is for the guys who are mastrubating: LARGE BLEEDING ASSHOLE. (Hopefully that made you limp.))
<Pixelated> limp !
<Pixelated> that got me rock hard
<hardlined> you too?
<hardlined> Got a cam?

#58154 +(252)- [X]

<asdasd> spellig? excuse me asshole...I got a+ in englsih

#71979 +(616)- [X]

<Knives> YOUR RADIO IS BROKEN
<Knives> I DEMAND A REFUCK
<Knives> .
<Knives> REFUND

#82198 +(170)- [X]

<Alvaro> I'd tap you anytime Treen
<Treen|Dead> the dead are beyond blame...
<Treen|Dead> ...
<Alvaro> ...
<Treen|Dead> *uncomfortable moment*
<Alvaro> *awkward silence*
<Treen|Dead> SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY.
<Psychorider> does that make Alvaro a necrophiliac?
<Alvaro> So ummm, how about em Knicks?
<Zippo> Something.

#95090 +(357)- [X]

(mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
(mattwindu) while she was home alon
(mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to blockbuster
(mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
(mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing

#99700 +(85)- [X]

<Odo> his nick is mr_white, and his username is blackdub
<Odo> this gives me the odd mental image of someone dubbing a movie into ebonics

#103597 +(849)- [X]

<Ozymandias> WTF is an accronym

#105831 +(1130)- [X]

<F4T4L_3RR0R> I swear... I don't need to see commercials for tampons while cartoons are on
<F4T4L_3RR0R> "IT'S SO SMALL I DON'T NEED THE APPLICATOR! IT FITS TO MY CONTOURS!!" "YES!! MY LABIA JUST GRABS IT LIKE A BIONIC CLAW AND TRACTOR BEAMS IT IN!!"

#113319 +(637)- [X]

<Ratzilla> I rest my cake.

#136816 +(661)- [X]

<McRick> I was watching a program on TV, and someone with an English accent said 'And God bless all who sail in her" and the closed captioning read "[speaking in foreign language]".

#136937 +(579)- [X]

rebelustionist: and I accidentlu said fuck in class liek 20 times
Dekkar5: rofl
rebelustionist: luckily she was a cool teacher
Dekkar5: what did the teach do
rebelustionist: she gave me one fuck a week
Dekkar5: !
rrebelustionist: the word
rebelustionist: that is
rebelustionist: ....
Dekkar5: o that didnt sound right...

#172510 +(527)- [X]

<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.
<BChikapa> You'd have to chase it around.

#180952 +(1102)- [X]

<r4v3n> there is just NO good excuse, if caught in my gfs room in the middle of the night
<r4v3n> "hey mr c...was walking by your house and i dropped my penis...it fell into your daughter, but i've collected it now and will just be...on...my...way"

#238880 +(1449)- [X]

<LexMortis> have i told you about a dream i had?
<LexMortis> a lion attacked me
<LexMortis> and bit off my finger
<LexMortis> after the fight n all was over
<LexMortis> i looked at my hands
<LexMortis> and went like "great, now i can only count to 9"
<LexMortis> even my unconsciousness is retarded =

#395528 +(556)- [X]

(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN
(@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu
?? quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet) (Read error: EOF from client)

#543059 +(394)- [X]

<ag> Diablo-D3: Have you considered Front Page?  It's much easier, and you still get to look dumb.

#553301 +(1284)- [X]

#621403 +(268)- [X]

<Mak0> history class was hilarious today
<Mak0> teacher asks "can anyone name a law put into effect by a president that they dont agree with?"
<Mak0> my response: "the Emancipation Proclamation"
<Mak0> its ok though, its a honors class so of course no black people are in it

#652381 +(931)- [X]

Chutt: my wife drops an earring down the bathroom sink
Chutt: so i take the sink apart and get it back
Chutt: while i'm hooking everything back up, she helpfully cleans out the bucket i used under the drain
Chutt: of course, i called out "it's in the bucket" after she took it
Chutt: but apparently that didn't register.  so i got to take apart the basement drain

#676795 +(1018)- [X]

neeley_09: I just realized that I'm kind of a rarity on IRC...
diablo: What do you mean?
neeley_09: Well, I actually play aports sometimes, and I do things with people, except in real life
diablo: Hey, not everyone on IRC is a geek
neeley_09: What's the biggest thing you've done today?
diablo: I played Oblivion for a few hours, I guess
neeley_09: ....
neeley_09: You can't even lie about it?

#740656 +(584)- [X]

<Snojoe> Lemme ask you somethin
<Gnarly> Okay...
<Snojoe> If you date a two-headed chick, and you want sex, and one of them says no..
<Snojoe> is it rape?
<Gnarly> you dont have much free time, do you?
<Snojoe> Time is a factor here, man... need an answer

#820787 +(1267)- [X]

(Andrzej) I had a waking dream about a tsunami once
(Andrzej) except the tsunami was made out of clowns.
(Andrzej) and I was 5
(Andrzej) I didn't sleep that night

#951217 +(419)- [X]

<i_c-Y> im not just hard. im np hard, baby.

0.0466 20983 quotes approved; 411 quotes pending
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