#241 +(1483)- [X]
<SWM> if the average penis is 6"
<SWM> and the average pussy is 8" deep that means there''s about 2 miles of unused pussy in like New York
#762 +(221)- [X]
uuu join/#unix (Hes^GoT^LiNuXfirstname.lastname@example.org)..
<Hes^GoT^LiNuX> I Have Linux Perl Can i Download Gnome???
#1723 +(1470)- [X]
<k-rad-bob> i made an avi of me jacking off
<k-rad-bob> then i jacked off while watching it
* linKnee is afk: PUKING
#3703 +(385)- [X]
[dodgey ] wow!
[dodgey ] somthing fucken weird happened
[dodgey ] i just deleted porn :|
#4319 +(307)- [X]
<orion> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
#4351 +(1069)- [X]
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.
#4627 +(341)- [X]
<Ear> ARSENIC IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY BECAUSE IT KILLS CHILDREN.
<Ear> DEAD BABIES EQUALS PROFIT.
<Khross> LESS MINORITY KIDS = LESS WELFARE
<Khross> MORE PROFIT
<Ear> IT ALSO PROVIDES FREE BACON.
<Khross> YES, OF COURSE
#4934 +(181)- [X]
<jonathans> statutory rape is the one thing id be okay with having on my record
#6778 +(327)- [X]
<Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well.. looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly
#7103 +(1165)- [X]
<Rain|BW> sbot jesus
<Sbot> Jesus Saves! But Gretzky Rebounds, He Shoots, He Scores!
<CrashCat> jesus saves souls and redeems them for valuable prizes at the ticket counter
<gegi> Jesus saves, the rest of you take 5d20 damage.
#7318 +(52)- [X]
<dae> "my dixie wrecked" say it slowly now
#7990 +(357)- [X]
<Diamond> There's about 800 people tied up in my basement.
<Prophet> Oh my
<Prophet> What do you use them for?
<mordac> They really bring the room together, you know?
#8003 +(125)- [X]
<Jon-> imagine if your ISP pulled cable
<Jon-> what would you do?
<mewse> quit irc?
#8007 +(380)- [X]
<quacky> if you get carpal tunnel from giving handjobs, can you still get L&I from work?
<Captain_Tenille> Depends if it's job related, I guess.
<Buggy> hmmm... if the handjobs are for managers, maybe
<geekie> technically...you just have to give the handjob at work.
<geekie> and then management is responisble for said handjob
<Buggy> well, it's not really in my job description.. but maybe it's in yours
<geekie> no..if the accident occurs in the workplace, they are liable.
<Buggy> right, so if it's an accidental handjob...
<quacky> that's what I'm talking about.
<Buggy> or an accident occurs while doing the handjob
<quacky> only we're talking about handjob-related injuries
#8134 +(377)- [X]
*** Starlet is now known as StarBBS
<Jerub> as in dialup?
<Jerub> whats the number?
<Jerub> is it subscription?
<Jerub> got a large file section?
<Jerub> is it on fidonet?
<StarBBS> bbs as in be back soon
#8706 +(892)- [X]
<tom_> i heard that if you walk into a fridge and close the door you cant get out again
<tom_> im sure if i got stuck in a fridge i could get out
<tom_> im gonna fuckin try it
#10280 +(1721)- [X]
<Jesse> hello, I am Jesse, male, 28 years old, caucasian, and am looking for friends to chat with. I hope to see you online
<Amanda`> I HOPE TO SEE YOU FACE-DOWN IN A QUAGMIRE WITH A NINE IRON LODGED BETWEEN YOUR SHOULDER BLADES
#14359 +(178)- [X]
<^_-> DICK SMELLS LIKE PICKLES.
<^_-> PARTIALLY BECAUSE OF THE DRIED SEMEN.
<Funk> My dried semen doesn't smell like pickles
<Funk> It smells like bleach
<^_-> THAT'S WHAT MINE SMELLS LIKE WHEN IT'S WET
<^_-> IT'S LIKE BLEACHY-CHLORINE
<Funk> That was my excuse for jacking off in the swimming pool
<Funk> "But I thought it would make the pool cleaner :( :( :("
<wildkarrdex> THAT WAS YOUR COURT DEFENCE?
<wildkarrdex> YOU COULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS AN INVOLUNTARY SPASM
<Funk> An involuntary spasm that made me hold a 6 year old underneath me for the duration?
#16438 +(255)- [X]
<^bat-sai> i once went to lismore
<^bat-sai> for a baseball competition
<^bat-sai> when i was 13
<^bat-sai> i was mocked
<^bat-sai> because i was the only one who thought we were there to play baseball on the snes
#18475 +(154)- [X]
<\windows\system32\format> /run $me
#33702 +(1777)- [X]
<BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it.
<LULU> You wear pants don't you?
#34317 +(146)- [X]
<Lisanne> oh FFS now my cdrom wont close
<red_one> Lisanne: take the cup out first ;)
<Lisanne> har har
#36849 +(204)- [X]
<BTZ|EatingShit> Don't take my name literally.
#38732 +(211)- [X]
*** God was kicked by BlackYoshi (AHAHAHAHA!!!!)
*** ChanServ sets mode: -o BlackYoshi
<BlackYoshi> I guess that's what I get for kicking god. =(
#40521 +(1166)- [X]
TAAK24: you gamecube like yes?
gamecube4789: may i ask who you are?
TAAK24: i use aim
TAAK24: i find name in directory
TAAK24: you know where i get cheap gamecube?
gamecube4789: how much money do you have?
TAAK24: no much
gamecube4789: at least 100 right?
TAAK24: no :(
TAAK24: i need save for 3 months for 100 us dollar
TAAK24: i work at factory during week
TAAK24: money not good
gamecube4789: you talk like a baby
TAAK24: my english no good
TAAK24: why you make fun
TAAK24: i take this insult
TAAK24: i get factory friend slit throat
TAAK24: you no fuck with I!!!
TAAK24: YOU AMERICAN COCK
TAAK24: I KILL YOU FUCK
TAAK24: i ask friendly you make fun
TAAK24: YOU FUCK
gamecube4789: what? i don't understand what you are saying
#41025 +(401)- [X]
<jc> I have a dream.
<ailie> I had a dream.
<jc> Did yours involve fourteen twenty-three year old horny Amazon women?
<jc> Sadly, neither did mine.
<jc> I can't seem to get a grip on this directed dreaming thing.
#43132 +(374)- [X]
<Celia> la la la
* Archy` stretches and slowly moves arm around Craig
<Archy`> damn TAB
#45178 +(172)- [X]
<ManMower> I need like $800
<ManMower> to have 4 twisted peices of pain pulled out of my pussing mouth.
<g33k> ManMower: whoa. you going to an extra-value dentist?
<ManMower> g33k: what, it costs more than that?
<g33k> I paid $400, and that was only 20%
<g33k> so, $2000
<ManMower> $2000? I can get D cup tits and a 16" dick for $2000!
#45321 +(19)- [X]
<+Albator73> how I turn off away mode ?
<@eDRoaCH-nothere> albator- you type /quit away
*** Albator73 (Albator_7@ARouen-106-1-5-94.abo.wanadoo.fr) Quit (Quit: away -=SysReset 2.51=-)
#47627 +(398)- [X]
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on. try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time. i have better things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
#66206 +(145)- [X]
<downgrade> I should do something productive.
<downgrade> Is masturbation productive?
<downgrade> I guess it must be because it "produces" stuff
#78562 +(551)- [X]
<booyaa> i'm getting horrible pains thru my finger tips
<sy> booyaa: that's me attempting to kick your ass over the internet
#80624 +(187)- [X]
RobLuckettX: i wonder if the world took some massive vote, if we could exile Bush from America
Masqueradeuk: some people like him
RobLuckettX : like a sort of giant UN Weakest Link
RobLuckettX : hosted by Thatcher
Masqueradeuk : "George Bush you are the Weakest Link - Goodbye!"
#92024 +(422)- [X]
<LadyDragon> But I like to think that I have brains over bronze anyhow
#98043 +(201)- [X]
<Murr> DrForr, presumably the tank crew *knew* how to swim, but not how to escape from a tank with open hatch that had turned on its roof before sinking.
<DrForr> The tank flipped over -then- sank? Now that's rich.
<arkuat> what is this about? cisco is building tanks now?
<Winkola> arkuat: If they do, you can count on a lot of drowned newbie net admins.
<Winkola> "To report a drowning emergency, press 1, and hold for 27 minutes."
#98050 +(306)- [X]
<MEGA-Shrike> lat you off my xmas card list
<MEGA-Shrike> you now on another list
<LatinoReheat> list of "Who to make love to before im 30"?
<MEGA-Shrike> THE LIST OF ALMIGHTY PUNISHMENT, PAIN, DEATH AND GENERAL NASTINESS
<LatinoReheat> so shrike, the "Who to make love to before im 30"? then
#104531 +(761)- [X]
<Flirbnic> HAHAHA SQUINKY MADE A GRAMMATICAL ERROR.
<Squinky> HAHHA FLIRBNIC HAS A BIG BUTT AND HIS BUTT STINKS AND HIS HEAD IS HIS BUTT.
<Flirbnic> Stop it, I'm very sensitive about that. :(
#110790 +(77)- [X]
<turtletip> a seeing-eye dog was undressing me with its eyes, so I maced him
<turtletip> it got all frantic and ran its owner infront of a moving vehicle
<turtletip> pretty funny
#126740 +(840)- [X]
<amy25``> hey it's summer - bad time for passwords - get outside and stop masturbating!
<activexyz> better 1st stop masturbating and than go outside
<CrashFix> LOL ;-)
<CrashFix> timing is everything
#140791 +(2345)- [X]
NeoNess: My cell phone rang in the church and everyone looked at me.
I answered it and someone told me to turn it off.
I told them it was god and he was furiously angered at them, and he would smite them with his holy fist.
I proceeded to scream "Repent!" at the top of my voice.
long story short, I dont have to go to church anymore
#147274 +(248)- [X]
Dieldo: Heh no way, the best is Tantric sex
AnalRetribuiton: well i am the master of something i have come to call
AnalRetribuiton: it's where i have sex with a girl finish in 3 seconds and she goes "what the fuck?"
#165768 +(761)- [X]
<Galoot> Jesus! Stupid kids. It's always "Daddy, please spend time with us. Daddy, we love you. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Don't they realize I'm in a chatroom?
#171297 +(296)- [X]
<@DocGonzo> saying mac osx has 'the power of unix' is like putting whippets in your glovebox then saying your car has 'the power of nitrous'
#258383 +(954)- [X]
<kwigibo> Guns are for people who can't humiliate criminals with elaborate swinging paint-can contraptions
#373292 +(972)- [X]
Psychosis555: Dude who's that hot chick in the picture with you?
Psychosis555: The one with the nice tits
Jorden666 Sxe: Dude thats my sister!!
Psychosis555: I'm not related to her
Jorden666 Sxe: Dude she's 4!!!
Psychosis555: I stand by what I said
#441908 +(220)- [X]
[ @Jesper ] windows is really secure, they just hid the close exploits check box very well
#444349 +(484)- [X]
<FriedGold> Gentlemen... welcome to recursion club. The first rule is: you do not talk about recursion club. The next rule is: see first rule.
#622896 +(1616)- [X]
<PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing chess?
<PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me
<PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row
<PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has, "KILLING SPREE!@!!!"
#694493 +(576)- [X]
Brendan: A client of mine wants a cheesy backup solution
jbailey999: Cheese is no good as a data storage medium. It's unstable at room temperature.
#881393 +(2417)- [X]
<jax> I think the thing I've been most ashamed of doing with my penis
<jax> was trying to see if I could register it as a fingerprint on my laptops fingerprint scanner
<jax> JUST so I could login with a penis print
<jax> it didn't work :(