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#224 +(982)- [X]

[deft-:deft@98A9C369.ipt.aol.com] at least i don't go on aol

#780 +(705)- [X]

<dizzy_working> you couldn't kick my ass if I gave you special ass-kicking shoes and bent over for ya

#788 +(593)- [X]

(sonique) i'm sensitive
(sonique) i cry at movies
(sonique) i change clothes 5 times before i go to school
(sonique) i also look at little boys with a glint of danger in my eye

#4182 +(325)- [X]

<Object> next thing you know she'll be sticking dildo's up my ass
<Object> that's just harsh
<[ric]> well it's harsh if it isn't lubed

#6899 +(206)- [X]

<NalezWork> aaw fuck
<NalezWork> I just did a rm -rf blah * instead of a rm -rf blah &

#7259 +(572)- [X]

<Jay> how do u spell nebour
<nc> neighbour
<nc> haha
<Jay> kthx
<Jay> how do u spell ritch
<nc> rich u moron
<DX> rofl
<Jay> well
<DX> u dum cunt jay
<Jay> so what if i cant spell
<Jay> i type it in spell check
<Jay> and im still so wrong it goes what the fuck no suggestions
<nc> MS never reckoned on Jay

#7890 +(66)- [X]

<rabbitfood> not for your brains fods, just your arse. :)

#8052 +(21)- [X]

<CactusJac> The only good thing the French gave the world was syphilis.

#8409 +(246)- [X]

<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a festering pile of its screaming kin.
<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able to interact with it

#11507 +(1259)- [X]

<Kurt> I will now make this man disappear!
***Exitium has been kicked by Kurt (Hocus Pocus)
<Kurt> Voila!
<jre> Hey, I saw you palm him and place him in your ass!

#11820 +(329)- [X]

<LL-> why did u msg me?
<marry> realy im searching to get married
<marry> can you help me
<LL-> why u wanna get married?
<marry> becuse i dont want to live in gaza

#13467 +(229)- [X]

<Krameras> i know somebody who doesnt want to watch the Simpsons because its "too derogatory"
<CyberThor> Yeah. It's offencive to yellows everywhere!

#14827 +(479)- [X]

(ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.

#16536 +(291)- [X]

<MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with a credit card out on the town. You can do anything.

#18253 +(264)- [X]

<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got?
<drunkers> i wash dishes
<[Piratez]> at a resturaunt?
<drunkers> no, at home

#20344 +(342)- [X]

<Hellace> \\\movies2\video clips\kitty stir fry.mpeg
<Hellace> thats fucken wrong
<Gothmog> im not touching anything with a filename like that
<Gothmog> work on your subtlety Hellace...
<Gothmog> call it "dinner.mpeg" or something
<Hellace> well its dodgy hey
<Hellace> its a cat getting cooked..
<Gothmog> yeah i figured that
<Gothmog> stirfried infact...
<Hellace> quote by levi "its fucken wrong"
<Zen> aarg
<Zen> that fucking horrible
<Gothmog> you watched it?
<Gothmog> LOL
<Gothmog> come on, something called that... you expected it to not be fucking horrible?
<Zen> well curiosity killed the cat

#22519 +(369)- [X]

<CrackZ> I'm gonna be getting a new boss soon too
<CrackZ> its a power hungry female
<CrackZ> ya know the type
<CrackZ> her 'can do' profile is going to clash with my 'can't be arsed' profile

#22704 +(156)- [X]

(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, & worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P

#22976 +(128)- [X]

<rei> only you can prevent forests! :)

#23279 +(31)- [X]

* Kirby-no-Osekkai attacks Fred with his mighty MAGE STAFF OF DOOOOOOOM
(Gaiden) Kirby-no-Osekkai attacks Fred hitting for 1 damage!

#23472 +(52)- [X]

<D1> theres no reason for me to smell good anymore.
<D1> so I tend to stick with the rancid odor since I don't have to impress anyone.

#23852 +(179)- [X]

(XBL-im): i have adelphia/time warner wires running side by side
(XBL-im): into my room
(XBL-im): appartently my adelphia one is creating a magnetic field that send the transmition into the air
(XBL-im): high enough that planes can pick it up
(XBL-im): *i live near a huge international airport*
(XBL-im): anyways, the FCC was looking for the problem
(XBL-im): and they found me
(XBL-im): they gave me this 30 min bullshit lecture on how it works
(XBL-im): and then they offered me an alternative to cable
(XBL-im): lol

#33606 +(857)- [X]

<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Saber, just imagine yourself being gangbanged by moths.  This is what will happen to you if you don't behave.
<Saber> what
<Saber> I didn't do anything
<Saber> and I have a bat
<Saber> I'll fight them off
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> That's not going to help a lot.
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Can't you just feel their tiny cocks writhing against your skin, Saber?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Just straining to reach an orifice?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Do you like it?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Does it feel good?
<Saber> That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me

#33834 +(22)- [X]

<Smokey> What are the advantages of Trillina pro?
<Amadeo> What are the advantages of you shutting the fuck up?
*Amadeo just got a whole list in the span in 2 seconds there

#33911 +(13)- [X]

<Pookachu> afghanistan threatens to retaliate
<Pookachu> they're gonna ride their camels into pakistan

#34862 +(140)- [X]

<TigerSun> check this out people, I saw someone's greet line on a bot today that
says "In God We Trust, everyone else get yourself an X.500 certificate"

#38223 +(243)- [X]

<Supe> <Beelzebub> www.xxxxxxxxx.com/gulfgirls2004 SeX SeX SeX !!
<Supe> beelze are you trying to harbour viruses?
<Beelzebub> nothing wrong with viruses
<Beelzebub> they are part of the natural selection process on the internet

#49289 +(11)- [X]

[gsf]Tomato: It's only rape if you don't take them out to dinner first.

#49870 +(554)- [X]

<Luckett_X> imagine driving down a highway, being pulled over in your Deloren, by the police whom question "Why is there a garbage can and chute on your car?" to which you reply "IT'S THE FLUX CAPACITOR!" to which you are immediately breathalised and convicted of drunk driving, all the while you scream "NO! I HAVE TO GET BACK! BACK TO...THE FUTURE! MAAARRRRRTTTTTYYYYY!"

#50212 +(601)- [X]

* Clef is watching The Mask with Jim Carrey
<Gothic> :O
<Gothic> Jim Carrey's at your house!?

#50938 +(261)- [X]

<RichiH> you could always use netbsd if you want maximum security
<RichiH> ppl are gonna nmap you and see that it is a netbsd box
<RichiH> so they will think "that's a propped-up toaster anyway, no use hacking it" and you are safe

#59595 +(321)- [X]

<chris> i have one guy arguing that init.d scripts need to support mixed-case arguments
<chris> "My first suggestion is to modify the way you match 'start' and 'stop' in
<chris> your case statement.  While technically, there is nothing wrong with the
<chris> way you match it, I prefer [Ss][Tt][Aa][Rr][Tt] and [Ss][Tt][Oo][Pp].  Using
<chris> this method, the matching is now case insensitive."
<reflector> I'd email him back: "[sS][hH][uU][tT] [tT][hH][eE] [fF][uU][cC][kK] [uU][Pp]"
<reflector> match that, asshole.

#153638 +(926)- [X]

<Ironfrost> IRC does something to people
<Ironfrost> if Steven Hawkings went onto IRC he would be talking about porn within 10 minutes

#185353 +(562)- [X]

<Caedar[SOT]> God, I hate people with no game experience who work at game stores.
<Kaelo[LoR]> yeah me too Caedar[SOT] ... You want what?  Gay Sex 2?
<Kaelo[LoR]> *sigh* nonono, DEUS EX 2

#187608 +(1036)- [X]

<Kris> fuck!  someone stole all my beer and drank it and left the empties all over my apartment!
<Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no real memory of anything after 21:00

#212739 +(187)- [X]

<sangre> what operating system do you use?
<sangre> which version of windows?

#238361 +(193)- [X]

<RealaNightmaren> that fucker is linking to our files
<RealaNightmaren> AGAIN
<dosdemon> reala who hosts sonic cult
<RealaNightmaren> dos: a friend of mine
<Sushi-D> reala... you should make one of those scripts..
<dosdemon> ah
<RealaNightmaren> i used to have one
<RealaNightmaren> i replaced it with htaccess
<RealaNightmaren> which unfortunatly doesn't cover the subdomains
<Sushi-D> that bites the bullet...
<Sushi-D> so....how are youe gonna correct this problem...
<RealaNightmaren> easy
<RealaNightmaren> I'll replace it with porn

#304168 +(632)- [X]

<Justin> What's your sign, baby?
<The_Gevil> Yield

#383093 +(463)- [X]

<Sebastian> My computer is more than a little confused
<Sebastian> My DVD player thinks it's a zip drive . . .

#393904 +(125)- [X]

<D1> ugh
<D1> they put me on lithium!
<sorbix> did they perscribe you batteries
<D1> not yet.
<D1> but who knows what they'll give me next time.

#449715 +(1919)- [X]

<dessman> man both Tesla and Newton were lifelong virgins
<dessman> am i the only one who sees the link?
<m0nd0m> you believe you're going to be a great scientist?

#482170 +(288)- [X]

DragonAtma: malware = spyware that hurt your computer
yayz muffin: ah
DragonAtma: so if you open ie and the homepage was changed to goatse.cx, the file that did it is probably malware
yayz muffin: probably was crashing my browser too
yayz muffin: >_<
DragonAtma: same think if you realize there are bookmarks to pages like "gay anal fisting", "horse rape", and "republican national convention" ;)

#549651 +(1113)- [X]

<Velk> I have my school pay phones on my cell contact list
<Velk> my friend and I plan to go to New York city and take down as many pay phone numbers as we can
<Velk> and single out a person, and every payphone he passes we'll call
<Velk> just to creep him out

#576116 +(1831)- [X]

<Quast> bbg: homosexuality isn't a badge you get after you fuck a guy in the ass for the first time
<Quast> or get it yourself
<xooz98> which badge do you get again?
<xooz98> the boy scouts system is so complicated

#598987 +(1632)- [X]

<Sceptic> I am not going to argue mideast history and politics here. I have better, more useful things to do--such as draining the ocean with a spoon.
<David> Just out of interest, where will you be putting the water?

#648341 +(16)- [X]

<Analyzer> I'm on the come-down
<Analyzer> I ran out of heroin at 10 this morning
<Breathe> You're gonna be such a good daddy :D
<Analyzer> You'll have to watch the police blotter to see just how good

#773023 +(1016)- [X]

<fr_gment> Bad grammar makes me [sic].

#865098 +(2894)- [X]

<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs

#954952 +(25)- [X]

< pooter> I just came up with an amazingly good simile for math
<+echobinary> does it add up?
< pooter> :|

#962756 +(164)- [X]

< ntc> is it possible to recover encrypted files from an ecryptfs container? i lost the passphrase
< scorbutus> ntc: you could try filing a foia request with dhs

0.0630 21064 quotes approved; 411 quotes pending
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