#2460 +(591)- [X]
<Ortem> You see...My penis is very much like a sherbert dib dab
<Graeme> short, thin, soft and often in children's mouths.
#3358 +(161)- [X]
<tril0gy> i think with my gov't tax return i'm gunna buy a redmav
<spicrx7> you're better off getting a shirt that says "I suck cock."
<ChronosGW> Then you and DMC can be mav-buddies
<spicrx7> same effect as having a red mav
<spicrx7> except the tshirt would be worth more
#3557 +(199)- [X]
<mightyflo> and "what technologies do you like working with best?"
<mightyflo> that's an odd question
<redbatszu> dusteating nanobots?
<mightyflo> i should hook those up to the x10 remote
<mightyflo> i could clean the house from my chair
#6834 +(277)- [X]
<angst> someone off campus was looking at my penis.
<angst> i think i spend too much time analyzing people's actions in my webserver's logs
#9043 +(315)- [X]
<Dayv> I was also raised by women.
<Dayv> Soft mother and wire mother, to be specific.
<Dayv> I chose wire mother.
#9116 +(277)- [X]
<^cell^> he was one of those people that had to make multiple objects.. like.. he makes 1 tree, so he says "lets give him a little friend" and at the end there is like 50 trees and like 3000 squirrels
#10626 +(2256)- [X]
<CompuMan> The tragedy of Canada is they could have had British culture, French cooking, and American technology, but instead they got American culture, British cooking, and French technology.
#14944 +(590)- [X]
<erkdrvn666> I will one day overthrow Microsoft, I am a better programmer than that faggot bill gates...
<shadowylight> really... THATS COOL...
<erkdrvn666> Hold on a sec, someones at door
::: .email@example.com> erkdrvn66(firstname.lastname@example.org);
<shadowylight> brb kalling erik
<weezelpunk> sure thing buddy
<shadowylight> weird his phone is disconnected......
#20214 +(267)- [X]
-!- red_one has quit ["Netscape 4 turned 5. 5 years ago, my best friend wasn't even dating; now he's married and has two kids. Fucking upgrade already."]
#20446 +(168)- [X]
<freedumb> When i was like 8 my dad tried to teach me to count cards in blackjack
<freedumb> for when im 'of legal age'
#22640 +(220)- [X]
<jaff> once my heater caught on fire while I was playing t1 , but I had the flag so I was fucking torn, luckily I was on RW and organised a very quick hand off
#24764 +(269)- [X]
* phx just upgraded winrar
<phx> rather, i upgraded to a russian version of winrar
* phx does not speak russian
#26729 +(90)- [X]
<Dracostian> i just saw the worst movie ever
<spanker> your birth?
#34393 +(374)- [X]
<oyvind> what's a vegan?
<junk> something you should stab in the face
#37267 +(441)- [X]
<Hurricane_Hasney> fuck... that was not good
<Hurricane_Hasney> I put on winamp and added my MP3 directory
<ragnarok2040> O_O, winamp3
<Hurricane_Hasney> Forgetting that it has porn videos in it
<Hurricane_Hasney> I had ePSXe running as well full screen so there I am chatting away to my mum and playing Tekken
<Hurricane_Hasney> One of my songs finish and all you hear is "Uh, uh, mmm, right there"
<Hurricane_Hasney> so a quick stab of the reset button was inorder
#39594 +(804)- [X]
<AL9000> Hey, somebody try this, sit on your hands for a really long time until you have no feeling in them at all, then jack off, it's supposed to feel like you're getting a handjob from somebody else
<Tip> I prefer sitting on my penis for like 5 minutes and then jacking off, it feels like I'm giving someone else a handjob
#44332 +(197)- [X]
<Zeeker> God, I wish I can make this text larger
<Feren> I can smell new spam thanks to Zeek. "Increase your font size three inches with this miracle pill!"
#49309 +(358)- [X]
<Grimmel> STICKING YOUR PENIS INTO ANOTHER DUDES ASS IS DISGUSTING
<Grimmel> UNLESS ITS MARDOM
#49773 +(286)- [X]
<homerj> i'm going to see if that beam in the basement is big enough to hang myself from..if not, bbl
#50107 +(224)- [X]
<Pyro-> if he's childish enough to go on like it prove the better man and ignore him
<Aslan> yes, that would be a very mature and excellent solution
<Pyro-> Banning him only gives him the attention he wants.
<Aslan> I don't subscribe to 'turn the other cheek, though'... I am more like an Old Testament jew
<Pyro-> Where exactly does the old testament tell you to ban other people for calling you names over the internet?
<Pyro-> I'd love to hear it from THAT rabbi.
<Aslan> you have to look deep into leviticus
<Aslan> it's there... trust me
#50348 +(333)- [X]
* bitch has joined #lobby
<son_of_evil> hi *****
<Nehaal> hi *****
<Falkner|AWAY> hi *****
#50972 +(231)- [X]
<Bliss|CS> anyone got a good server
<Threeboy> for webhosting? yeah i do.
<Threeboy> no, i said GOOD.
#53346 +(109)- [X]
<Kruge> I think there should be a seperate internet for ugly bitches
<Kruge> suuuure, if you wanna take amateur porn pics of yourself, you go right ahead. But post them on the Ugly Bitch Web
#58967 +(135)- [X]
<The_Snowman> but as always, the kids got a ton of gifts.... :/
<The_Snowman> we've spent all day clearing out their room to get room for all the new shi.... toys
<Scarebear> We did the same thing yesterday. They got heaps! Yesterday was cleanup day
<The_Snowman> im really thinking of kick/banning grandparents from #xmas :/
#72873 +(359)- [X]
<Ludious> I think it's delightfully ironic that the aisle across from the valentines stuff at Walmart features family size bottles of vaseline.
#77324 +(183)- [X]
.!. @Risiken wonders where her cam is being hosted =\
.!. BoHolbrook wonders where his balls are being hosted
( Psy ) [BoHolbrook]: www.tiny.com
#84696 +(431)- [X]
* slippy drags you upstairs
<slippy> to bed..
<slippy> to sleep!
<slippy> after a bit
#89686 +(484)- [X]
<Wiecker> Running in the open just gets me killed.
<Semp> What game?
<Wiecker> Barbie detective
#89946 +(538)- [X]
<SJ> I'm playing "Raising Baby".... I got to the 3rd level ...
<mtngrrl> lol, whered you find that game?
<SJ> it was on backorder - took 9 months to come in
#91863 +(289)- [X]
<Looney> fucking alterego, cant end a sentence without a smiley
<WarPiG> HI I HAVE CANCER :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:P
#98107 +(114)- [X]
<@f0dd|away> !topic #ol - guns don't kill people; I kill people
*** nuff0r changes topic to '#ol - guns don't kill people; I kill people'
<Kwazy> Guns kill people, but at least THEY dont rape them afterwards
<Kwazy> *sick grin*
#98381 +(109)- [X]
<Duran`Mun> ... I've had a religious experience
<Lathian> Duran`Mun, did someone hit you with a bible?
<Duran`Mun> Lathian: No, I put in my new sound Card.
#104928 +(313)- [X]
<ANTIDEAD> I had a dream last night that I met you in real life, so we dressed up as zoro and smuggled drugs over the mexican border
<ANTIDEAD> Perhaps I should lay off the burritos
#147010 +(285)- [X]
+icnocop> any advice on what program to use to compare two files like windiff or something?
@theForger> how aobut windiff
@Wyatt> or something.
+icnocop> ok i guess it's good enough. thanks
+rottle> that was the most pointless thing ever
#149939 +(749)- [X]
<Algorithms> I just threw a squirrel carcass in a cardboard box and installed NetBSD on it.
#154049 +(109)- [X]
<amped> ok guys, i'm back
<lodg> im sure u were doing something important like watching ppl party from ur window
#164609 +(429)- [X]
<Legendre> I got two spams today - one for weight loss, and one for penile enlargement. I relplied to both, with cc: and asked if they could work something out to transfer my extra weight to my johnson.
#166363 +(613)- [X]
<Enigma> Anyone know what resolution our eyes run at?
#168093 +(16)- [X]
* Now talking in #israel
<Idiot-boy> Hey #israel! Soo... hitler.
#170210 +(396)- [X]
<SyntaxGlitch> ...Kuru, kindly shave those eyebrows off. They offend me.
#238133 +(443)- [X]
<Gandalf> at least you arent typical of most yanks here who hear the word africa and automatically think we drive elephants to work
<Dinxy> no you drive black people to work
#374943 +(72)- [X]
<booze> rice makes your dick gain strenght :p
<Margarita> if you shove it in your dick, sure, booze
#395881 +(230)- [X]
<WhiteHowler> When did the Swedes get so good at Track and Field?
<Cubby[history]> When someone put a keg at the end of their lane.
#652068 +(1179)- [X]
<yadrisil> Quit being emo.
<alexsavage> i'm not emo, the glass is half full
<yadrisil> Half full... with tears.
#733864 +(41)- [X]
<Wells> i upload my movies to snipurl.com as a series of urls
<Wells> base64 encoded
#740836 +(353)- [X]
<CptSage> Awesome error message
<CptSage> Best one ever
<CptSage> A network error has occured. This computer's Internet connection appears to be online. (-66559).
#928168 +(252)- [X]
<Xnoia> I chose to believe that argument drove him to drinking.
<Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory.
<@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense.
<Xnoia> I do.
<Xnoia> Damn it!
#945194 +(369)- [X]
<T> I couldn't decided what I wanted so I just got one box of each type of fruit snacks, some gummy bears, and 5 pints of americone dream ice cream
<T> When I went up to the checkout, the lady looked at me like I was crazy after she finished ringing me up
<T> I'm not sure if it's cause I spent $100 on fruit snacks, or if it was cause I had a sword
<T> Anyway, so I tie the bag handles around the hilt of the sword, cause there's too many bags to carry, and I set off down the road
<T> nobody tries to stop me
<T> I get about 3 of the 6-7 blocks towards home down when a police cruiser pulls up beside me and tells me to put everything down and put my hands on my head
<T> Luckily, as I've said before, the cops in the UC/Converse area are cool as shit
<T> It's only SAPD that sucks
<T> So the first thing the cop says is "Is that a weapon son?", to which I reply "It's a sword, officer"
<T> So, I reply "No officer, I just wanted some fruit snacks."
<T> Now he's really giving me a look, and puts his spotlight right in my eyes
<T> He says "Are you high son?"
<T> "No officer, just a little drunk."
<T> He's like "Alright, well since you've been honest with me, let's get you home. Let me see your ID."
<T> So I give him my driver's license, he tells me to hop in the back, and he takes me to my house and drops me off
<T> I ate an entire box of fruit snacks in the back seat of a police cruiser
<T> He even let me keep my sword
#951442 +(57)- [X]
<Goune> the other day i saw the headline : 'woman beats off rapist' and i thought.....
<Goune> that seems like a reasonable compromise
#954111 +(159)- [X]
<@Steempy> Any lettuce that isn't iceberg needs to fuck off back to Russia
<@Steempy> Goddamn communist hipster lettuce