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#68 +(1261)- [X]

<HomerJ> Microsoft could shit in a box, adn most people would buy it

#1331 +(538)- [X]

<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.

#2637 +(93)- [X]

<_Bas_> I want to be a database admin and part time mechanic when I graduate

#2681 +(313)- [X]

*** CSGpunk (CSGpunk@dialup-67.25.73.97.Dial1.Raleigh1.Level3.net) has joined #winprog
<CSGpunk> anyone live in raleigh, nc and know where i can get drugs

#2973 +(472)- [X]

<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice

#3600 +(277)- [X]

<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy

#5489 +(3263)- [X]

<Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out

#9645 +(298)- [X]

<reflexive> WHAT'S COOL ABOUT THIS JOB
<reflexive> IS THAT I GET ALL THE COFFEE I WANT.
<reflexive> ehehehehhehehe.
<|reptile|> coffee blackens your teeth, taints your breath, and thrashes your nerves.
<reflexive> ...where's the downside?

#11353 +(1029)- [X]

<guyen> holy shit i'm not going to be home this weekend, i have an online exam i have to take, but i'll be in LA
<guyen> there's a wedding going on so i won't be able to exactly just do it at my relative's house
<guyen> i'm looking for cybercafes and crap, the only thing i can find is some place called Yogi's Cyber Hut
<guyen> holy fuck i can't believe i'm depending on Yogi for my midterm grade
<xan> at least he's smarter than the average bear

#13018 +(775)- [X]

<Effyis> oh crap...
<Effyis> i just dropped the dip on the floor
<gleep> Oh, well.  Someone help KarbonCopy back up.
<KarbonCopy> me back up?
<KarbonCopy> what?
<KarbonCopy> HEY!

#17771 +(30)- [X]

<suffocate> i wanna know if thewre are any Visual Basic packets
<suffocate> under linux
<suffocate> ???

#26164 +(1221)- [X]

<azrael69> why do all goths express their individuality the same?

#31051 +(426)- [X]

<Synonymet> jestuh...hmm...I wonder if you can call your kid "George Bush" in Afghanistan?
<eric|work> no
<Nyphur> You can, but he'd be stillborn.

#33610 +(117)- [X]

<spiregrain> the worst thing about irc is that delay between finding the server, and getting logged in.  Why does it happen?  What can I do?
<spiregrain> the second worst thing is dumb questions like the above

#33832 +(213)- [X]

<active1> how to become a bot ???
<dieppiej> first you have to become a computer, then you have to get an 24/7 internet connection and plug it into yourself.. install a stable *BSD OS and then install the right application on yourself
<active1> it is so easy :))))
<dieppiej> I wonder how you are going to do the first step..

#36975 +(256)- [X]

<InstrucT> i need to upgrade the memory to 1 gig, considering just plugging in the dimm i mean seriously why do i need to shut down
<Path> instruct: you have won the "stupidest person ive ever seen on irc" award for 2002.
<Path> congratulations

#37622 +(346)- [X]

<Emerald> <green>Is IRC html?</green>

#47116 +(913)- [X]

<DruMorgan> Anyone remember Big Bird singing the song about the alphabet pronouncing it as one big word?
<DruMorgan> AbkaDefGiJekylmanopriqstuvixez
<MrSnazz> didn't that open up a gateway to hell or something?

#50213 +(616)- [X]

<eva> you ever notice that you dont sneeze when you pee?
<Rivorus> i actually sneezed while peeing just the other day
<Rivorus> and i was thinking about how people say that
<eva> Rivorus/ well did you BLOW your ASSHOLE OUT?
<Rivorus> the pee went all over my roommate's face
<Rivorus> I mean the toilet seat.
* Rivorus coughs
<eva> ...

#53478 +(280)- [X]

<Marand> My girlfriend's parents are paranoid.  They don't trust the internet and are extremely against chatrooms.
<Marand> if ($person == 'online') { $person = "pervert dograping kiddiefucker" }
<Marand> Maybe it's because they know me

#57644 +(243)- [X]

<iaruj> some idiot keeps unplugging lan cable
<seniaguol> is his name...
<seniagoul> whatever your name is?

#76154 +(280)- [X]

<Kitsa> I didn't know wtf he was talking about.
<Kitsa> and why drunk ppl always think they have so much insight
<Kitsa> OMG TRAIN POODLES TO RESCUE MINERS, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE THINK OF THAT BEFORE?!?!?!?!?
<Kitsa> I MUST GET ON IRC AND TELL EVERYONE
<Kitsa> WITH FREQUENT UPDATES ON HOW DRUNK I AM

#85183 +(61)- [X]

<CyberTech> ever seen tremors?
<CyberTech> hehe
<CyberTech> i do have thoughts on living in the desert
<CyberTech> in my own bunker
<Terron> as long as I had DSL, i would

#90196 +(144)- [X]

<InVerse> Christ, I went to GameFAQs and didn't look at the poll question and was thoroughly confused when the first answer was Under 13"

#105350 +(332)- [X]

<dora> I got one of those new penus razors
<rigel> ...
<dora> shit, I meant venus
<dora> BAD typo
<KAb0rN78> p and v are not even next to each other..
<rigel> now we all know what she's thinking about
<dora> :P

#140720 +(1962)- [X]

SweetPeaches708: i can hack ur comp and send u a virus if u dont tell the truth and dont stop scaring my friend
SweetPeaches708: s
SweetPeaches708: my dad works for aol
SweetPeaches708: i know how to do these type of things
aedenww2: omg
aedenww2: hahahahahahahahahaha
aedenww2: BASH.ORG

#142649 +(1083)- [X]

<JB> When I was a kid, you could just admire a naked woman. She didn't have to be defecating.

#147563 +(36)- [X]

<WI-RaZ0r> ok fuck u bitch
<ArmedFred> The only thing insulting about that sentence was the terrible spelling

#212627 +(272)- [X]

<budb> i find chicks in real life, and they are dating someone else, chicks find me online, and they are bisexual guys

#214384 +(439)- [X]

<Heem> [entropy], have you ever heard of WiFi?
<[entropy]> I don't listen to techno

#218575 +(143)- [X]

<D-FENZ> anyone know how much you can overclock the 2500xp before shit happnes
<Moonman> if u smell burning....then i'd slow down :P
<Malthius> sounds like sex really

#221128 +(1214)- [X]

<Rhodz> bah
<Rhodz> so sick of this superbowl crap
<Rhodz> they just cater to the lowest common denominator
<Rhodz> I half expect next year's superbowl to be a reality home improvement show where the two teams have to build the stadium and when they're done get voted off their teams one by one until the last two have to compete in a singing contest judges by that simon guy from american idol, and the winner wins the superbowl alone, and gets a free makeover from the queer eye dudes and then a week later finds out he was "punk'd" and he didnt really win anything
<Rhodz> ..
<Rhodz> wait...that sounds like an awesome show

#245797 +(1040)- [X]

<surreal> i've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my girlfriend to go swimming

#279100 +(1221)- [X]

<Rayn> if you had to pick between a compaq and a dell, what would you take?
<Draco> death

#335266 +(1001)- [X]

<lexa> anyone wanna buy some cheap tampons? 10p each
<lexa> no strings attached

#374938 +(809)- [X]

<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather

#403378 +(541)- [X]

<Darkening> something doesn't feel right on my system now i just upgraded my nivida drivers
<Borgs8472> do you sense a disturbance in the force?
<Borgs8472> "theses aren't the driver's you're looking for"
<Darkening> ^geek

#413285 +(1687)- [X]

<Teratogen> What did the drunk say to Jesus when Jesus dropped the cross?
<@James> uh oh
<Teratogen> "You keep dropping that thing and they're gonna throw you outta the parade."
*** You have been kicked from channel #bible (that was so not funny)

#436985 +(2193)- [X]

<Chewbacca> Raarraraaraarrrraarargh.
<Jordanis_Jackal> What's that Chewie?  Han fell into the well?

#466531 +(818)- [X]

* Bassfiend flicks to "The Avengers" for a bit of Uma...
< planetWayne> nah - shes a bit ... ugly..
< planetWayne> although I liked killbill#
* Bassfiend doesn't want to talk to planetWayne ever again.
< Bassfiend> Uma is my love!!!
< planetWayne> her eyes are not set properly.
< Bassfiend> Correct ...
< Bassfiend> ... they should be four inches above the level of my penis.

#477397 +(1599)- [X]

<Vash> /ctcp Bot doit passwd <command>
<Vash> try it!
<Kao> okay
-> [Bot] DOIT passwd msg #scripting I love babies
<bot> I love babies
-> [Bot] DOIT passwd /run shutdown -r -t 3 -c "byeeeee"
<Vash> ohhh
* Vash has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
* Bot has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)

#635335 +(904)- [X]

<Doc> All this pollen is killing me,  You can see the green clouds of it floating in the air.
<Doc> pollen is just tree sperm...
<Doc> I feel like mother nature just gave me a facial..

#672706 +(1523)- [X]

<Kaleidoscope> Alright, so this hermaphrodite walks into a bar..
<r3c0n> go fuck urself
<Kaleidoscope> Oh, so you've heard this one before..

#714584 +(441)- [X]

<Eir|food> Y'know, Taco Bell's "Think Outside The Bun" seems perfect for a hilarious anti-gay slogan.
<Eir|food> "Don't put your meat between buns!  Get it in a taco instead!"

#735790 +(563)- [X]

<atariboy84> I'm a little discouraged, I went to match.com and typed "sane." It came back "sorry, no results."

#735802 +(16)- [X]

narutomegafan: Yes...
narutomegafan: If I become next hitler type figure, I'll make sure you get high rank.
Pilotheplane: SWEET
Pilotheplane: I call the jews
Pilotheplane: u can have the blacks
narutomegafan: Sounds good.
narutomegafan: That'll get us money and weapons

#737859 +(255)- [X]

<marshmallow> i had a hard time trying to explain to mike what the orly owl was
<marshmallow> i mean how would you describe it to someone who hadn't heard of it
<__penguin__> the same way you describe what color is to a blind person
<marshmallow> HAHA IT'S PURTY AND U CANT SEE IT

#770991 +(711)- [X]

<Valheita> "I want to ravage you like Germany ravaged Poland in WWII"
<Valheita> O_O
<^QuickSilver> Well at least they'll pull out.

#894484 +(684)- [X]

<echoplex> do you type by throwing chopsticks at a keyboard that is spinning or something?

#936782 +(1091)- [X]

<+Kilonum> DID I MENTION I WAS MOLESTED? I'M PRETTY SURE I DID, ONCE OR TWICE, BUT YOU DID NOT OFFER TO DISCUSS THE MATTER WITH ME. LET'S HAVE A NICE QUIET DINNER AND HAVE A FRANK DISCUSSION ABOUT MY MOTHER'S BOYFRIEND'S DONG AND HOW HE PUT IT IN MY MOUTH AND ASS NOW AND THEN. ANYWAY, I'M CLEARLY THE VICTIM HERE AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T SUCK DICK. HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
<+Snickers> ... o.O
<+Kilonum> woops
<+Kilonum> wrong paste
<+Wormdundee> when is that ever the right paste

0.0775 21085 quotes approved; 526 quotes pending
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