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#399 +(294)- [X]

<gloone> america is the only country where people live in trailers.

#864 +(522)- [X]

<KidHype> i have pole position emulated in my pants
<KidHype> it asks my wife to prepare to qualify
<TonyD> how unusual

#1328 +(1700)- [X]

<Brinstar> If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.

#1976 +(641)- [X]

<__NoBoDy_> comp is slow as fuck right now freezin up a bit
<__NoBoDy_> heh
<__NoBoDy_> but im a gangsta and just dont give a fuck
<BC|HyDRO> jeah, real gangstas just let their comps run slow

#5611 +(574)- [X]

<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.

#6039 +(45)- [X]

<The_Freak> Jon's job sounds too much like a gay porn plot. I mean, come on, can you picture it? Jon pulling up in his bangin Taurus with the Jay-Z all the way up, rolling up to the Rutgers gay frat house and lysping "Hey boys, I brought the sausage!"...then when he was done, he'd say with crusted lips "Thanks for the tips!"

#7138 +(151)- [X]

<Prior_Tuck> We had a real Pron king at eaton though. He wad a 30 gig HD full of pron. He requests a new Hard Drive. We suspected he was downloading. He refused to give us his PC, but we insisted to take it...to install the new drive. I took his ten times embedded folder and clicked delete. Put the harddrive in my PC and gave hi his PC back. I told him his cache was full. hes got plenty of room

#7334 +(496)- [X]

<NihiMetal> I saw my first porno when I ws 11
<NihiMetal> It had tons of lesbian sex and stuff
<NihiMetal> I use to think that women did that shit with each other all the time
<NihiMetal> You never look at your mother and the preachers wife the same after that

#7949 +(150)- [X]

<Paeyl> Sometimes I yearn for the peace and simplicity of a low-stress startup job

#11170 +(248)- [X]

<niles> i just baught this kick ass afgan rug downtown
<niles> it has landmines, pistols and attack helicopters

#11607 +(143)- [X]

<@daedreem> and he was sooo sweet...
<ShockSMX> i think it would be more romantic if some guys pushed you off a cliff and he saved your life by jumping after you with a parachute.
<situationist> we'll have to make do with what we got

#11700 +(611)- [X]

<astroboy> I asked a japanese exchange student what kind of american TV he likes in japan.
<astroboy> he said full house.
<astroboy> I fear japan.

#14079 +(636)- [X]

<Mantis> Sorry guys, I've got to go and spend some time with the gf
<Mantis> brb

#18202 +(93)- [X]

<GrandTheftNintendo> wtf is an oligarchy
<confusedd> a cross between a monopoly and an orge

#30262 +(400)- [X]

<ash26> tip
<ash26> never call yourself an american in england
<ash26> claim your canadian
<ash26> it will be so much easier for you

#32659 +(2300)- [X]

<Tizitchy> you know what sucks
<Tizitchy> I was staring at this girls ass in the mall while waiting in line
<Tizitchy> she was by a trash can
<Tizitchy> and this guy was behind me
<Tizitchy> said "Get a good view?"
<Tizitchy> i was laughing and said "yeah"
<Tizitchy> he goes "That's my daughter"

#36508 +(160)- [X]

<MaDCoW> verdana is the best font ever
<Threeboy> its allright.
<Threeboy> for a web font.
<MaDCoW> well yea
<Threeboy> when it gets big it gets ugly.
<Threeboy> like a woman.

#41186 +(120)- [X]

<rTc|teDz> Thursday, Practice
<rTc|teDz> Everyone can make it ?
<rTc|miao> i can
<rTc|Teatime> i was planning to invite a whore, but i guess clan matter are more important than my sex life

#43931 +(454)- [X]

<forsaken1> Lesbians aren't sexy, in my opinion. I mean, if they're lesbians, I'm obviously not gonna get any, so why waste my time.
<microkid88> forsaken1: lesbos make good porn
<forsaken1> microkid88: But, it's a bunch of licking
<forsaken1> microkid88: I can go to Baskin Robbins and see that

#49485 +(376)- [X]

<[-FcG-]Digger> LOLOLOL, Some lady just called my cell and was like "Hi I'd like to place an order"  So I took it!  She's gonna be pissed when the pizza doesn't arrive.
<[-FcG-]Digger> LMAO CLASSIC
<[-FcG-]Digger> Oh man, I RULE!

#50263 +(1718)- [X]

* Joins: Pronto ()
<MSminion> PRONTO!! YOUR BACK!!!
<Pronto> I brought my front, too.
<MSminion> Whoa! Both of 'em? Wow.
* Pronto bows.
<MSminion> What about your left?
<Pronto> Nope. It got left, right over there.
<MSminion> Right.
<Pronto> No, it left.
<MSminion> No left or right, then?
<Pronto> Damn straight.

#56523 +(210)- [X]

<ZiR0> id jack off
<Dead_One> i would to, but that would make 15 times today
<Dead_One> oh, wait
<Dead_One> 01:34:56
<Dead_One> no, its a new day

#59927 +(19)- [X]

<KeeperX> <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
<KeeperX> <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
<Flaming_Duck> oh god
<Flaming_Duck> look at the JPG
<Flaming_Duck> that's so gay
<KeeperX> yes, that is gay
<KeeperX> external CDROM

#62981 +(699)- [X]

<DarkMistress> I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
<DarkMistress> I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella
<open24hours> I'm so goth my wrists slash themselves.

#79660 +(682)- [X]

<Shrike> those lesbians
<Shrike> is there anything they won't do
<Guardian_Latino> fuck men?

#81834 +(159)- [X]

<Izzy-chan> Update (MSNBC): Basra Surrounded by US forces.
<SirLudicrus> Update (my penis): Erect.

#105168 +(180)- [X]

<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that

#106645 +(156)- [X]

@(TekU4iA) btw
@(TekU4iA) its 195bpm
@(TekU4iA) thanks
@(TekU4iA) K
  (thebigo) 195?
  (thebigo) who do you think you are? squarepusher?

#109225 +(278)- [X]

<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to go hiking, but I'd have to get up...

#113333 +(560)- [X]

<Zaratustra> I am an agnostic Jehovah's Witness. I knock on people's doors, but I'm not sure why.

#138185 +(205)- [X]

<Sabrebutt> So, I started learning Java today.
<tacojon> eww
<tacojon> i hope you washed your hands afterwards

#150031 +(1030)- [X]

<dreamwraith> I am going to create a Nicotine Golem.  I will call him son and he will call me father and we will bond.  At night, I will lick him.
<dreamwraith> I WANT A CIGARETTE.  That is all.

#176783 +(1509)- [X]

<King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side "Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i feel a cold chill running down my legs...

#187385 +(844)- [X]

<mizery> woot, I so got owned
<mizery> my laptop is dead
<aabnusar> ?
<Rhodz> MOUTH TO HARD DICK RESUSCITATION
* aabnusar laughs at mizery
<Rhodz> lol
<Rhodz> HARD DISK
<Rhodz> LMAO
<Rhodz> omfg
<aabnusar> lol
<Rhodz> wow what a typo to make

#191171 +(345)- [X]

<xScoobyxDoo42ox> "My name is Saddam Hussein. I am the president of Iraq and I want to negotiate," he told the US troops in English, according to Major Bryan Reed, operations officer for the 1st Brigade, 4th Infantry Division.
<xScoobyxDoo42ox> hahaha
<xScoobyxDoo42ox> i used that on the cops last week

#199298 +(128)- [X]

<FyreDaug> fuckin ricers
<FyreDaug> civics are like tampons, every pussy has one

#201842 +(45)- [X]

<Spiff> I was wondering why Jews didn't celebrate Christmas the other night
<Spiff> and the answer I came up with was that it was like John Wilkes Booth celebrating Lincoln's birthday
<Spiff> It's just not right celebrating the birthday of the guy you killed.

#238276 +(720)- [X]

Dublyner: I was up in Winnepeg and some guy on the street asked me if I had two loonies for a toonie. I thought he was going to rape me or something.

#243500 +(803)- [X]

<Pesmerga> man, im starting to think that the more I take showers, the more i stink afterwards. so Im just gonna stop showering and see if it helps.
* AnArKi has left the channel
* BoZo has left the channel
* HeyPetray has left the channel

#244321 +(39223)- [X]

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

#284658 +(1630)- [X]

Quit: (+[WG]sPiKie) (Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].)

#421788 +(1260)- [X]

*** DickHead5 was kicked by TJ32 (3.80265176 10^-09 millenia long ban. (394 Served.))
TJ32 sets mode: +b *!*java@*.cos2.cable.ntl.com
<@DrLavaGoddess> LMAO
<@DrLavaGoddess> Now that's funny
<WhoaOutOfControl> Haha
<WhoaOutOfControl> how long is that ban
<@TJ32> 2 minutes.

#464125 +(2263)- [X]

<cancerpass> ever watched the monty python show/movies?
<over-thurr> yeah he's a very funny guy!
<cancerpass> i'll take that as a no

#627046 +(766)- [X]

<@generated> i wish i was dead
<@mehh_> generated: why? :(
<@mehh_> actually i really need to go...tell me some other time :)
<@mehh_> bbl

#638296 +(2709)- [X]

<kperpy> then i heard my mum at the door and naturally i panicked right, but luckily i alt+tab'd to porn and took off my pants before she saw that i was on the microsoft website

#639443 +(876)- [X]

< int0x80> oh man today is my lucky day
< int0x80> i ripped this fart, but someone sneezed really loud at exactly the same time
< int0x80> so nobody heard my fart
<@vom> int0x80: that means an angel got its wings

#693046 +(1129)- [X]

<Royall> My "e" k y is brok n
<Royall> Oh wait.

#699804 +(580)- [X]

<spree> downloading movies takes so freaking long
<videogameaholic> set it and forget it
<spree> i set it hours ago
<spree> i want to watch it before i sleep
<spree> i imagine it'd be even worse with chicken
<spree> if i stuck a chicken in the oven, there's no way i'd forget it
<spree> i'd be staring hungrily at it for hours
<videogameaholic> you kidding?  when I put a burrito in the microwave and push 90 seconds, I grab a bag of chips.

#707257 +(874)- [X]

<__20h_P9_> DOS is the OS of the future.
<__20h_P9_> It doesn't suck. :P
<spaceinvader> __20h_P9_: but it dosent have a decent windowing system
<spaceinvader> and no dos dosent suck, it blows
<spaceinvader> Is there anything that dosent suck or blow?
<__20h_P9_> Feminists

#759408 +(677)- [X]

<@Berryful> The typing is strong in this one
<@Berryful> but i fear he has fallen to the dvorak side

0.0607 21065 quotes approved; 737 quotes pending
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