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#611 +(95)- [X]

<subnet> anyone got a man nearby? will pay!

#722 +(679)- [X]

<MadHatter> if you want to meet girls, I'll take you out
<Ash> I want nice nerd girls, not coked-up models.

#2366 +(1363)- [X]

<asmcoded> anal sex is like hacking
<asmcoded> you go in through the backdoor and hope you dont meet a log

#2922 +(28)- [X]

<Snag> on another note
<Snag> you know any fake tan shit i can buy?
<eldee> fake tan shit?
<eldee> wtf?
<Snag> ya
<Snag> i have supah white arms
<eldee> go to a tanning booth, give the bitch 5 bux and stick your arm in the pipe dude

#4050 +(96)- [X]

<dean`> LunaRain: i can rape myself any time without going to prison

#5876 +(243)- [X]

<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"

#6006 +(397)- [X]

<Kaje> my friend at camp brought his psx and gathered us all into his room to watch him beat it

#9349 +(450)- [X]

<[DeViL]WaRzO> chufty decode this plz
<[DeViL]WaRzO> cerom: (11:22 PM) I know but talking with who speak's English as a motherlanguage.
<[DeViL]Chufty> it means "add me to your ignore list"

#10426 +(20)- [X]

<nwinter> i am personally more concerned about israel and palestine
cutting ties with each other than who's whipping who. :)
<nwinter> but perhaps i am being trendy in my concern for more interesting
issues. :)

#10965 +(20)- [X]

<Wilson99> omg thats so phat !! i never knew saw that
<T1Jr> yeah it is pretty overweight.

#14404 +(158)- [X]

<Rubicant> one day Im going to have a real woman over

#16362 +(185)- [X]

<SaraMarie> the houston texans
<SaraMarie> how original
<toast_> do they have an open container as a mascot?

#16371 +(314)- [X]

*** Quits: SkAtEcHiC (Life is the most precious thing u can loose)
<Stuff> the other day I lost 5 bucks, so I'll have to disagree

#17966 +(92)- [X]

<ALT--F4> im a irc nerd
<ALT--F4> i have spend up to 14 hours on here at a time
<ALT--F4> its my favorite thing until i remember that i have a penis.
<Majin-Buu> k you are weird
<Majin-Buu> ill have to take ur nick into consideration
Parts: Majin-Buu (none@h24-66-113-73.tb.shawcable.net) [21 users]

#23342 +(491)- [X]

<[SAD]Kuja> ppl like you are scum
<[SAD]Kuja> i hope you fucking choke you asshole
<[SAD]Kuja> if you died and ppl dissrespected you like that
<[SAD]Kuja> would you be happy ??
<pain> no. I would be dead.

#31109 +(34)- [X]

<Epsilon> You know you play too much FF7 when you play any of it at all.

#31939 +(456)- [X]

<pleb> hey how long does it take to get back the results from a fertility test?
<Ouroboros> Do you have a girlfriend?
<pleb> yeah
<Ouroboros> 9 months.

#39432 +(329)- [X]

<D4NG3R0U5> i hjad this really fucken scary dream dude
<D4NG3R0U5> i was walkin down this empty street
<D4NG3R0U5> and for some reason i looked up, and there was a big FATAL ERROR message in the sky
<D4NG3R0U5> and it turned out that god had a dev team scripting dreams, and my (faulty) dream was somehow published wo being tested...
<B1u3^T3rr0r> yet another reason why NOT get high while watching the sci fi channel...last night matrix was on, and after that nightmare on elm st III

#39955 +(656)- [X]

(G0th|CMaN): can anybody help me????????
(G0th|CMaN): can anybody help me????????
(HappyJoy): deja vu?
(G0th|CMaN): speak english pls i dont understand

#39978 +(26)- [X]

<#geekissues><ef~loosid> what i really love the best about this channel is the people sitting and espousing their theories on life as if they are fact and they know everything, its the best.

#42783 +(266)- [X]

<Dead_One> and when i restarted it it goes *there wasa problem with the registry*
<Dead_One> *would you like us to slam it in all at once, or inch by inch like a gentleman* ?
<Dead_One> and the *nicer* option was gr3yed out.

#43840 +(153)- [X]

<Statutory_Sam> some of us have real lives we must attend to occasionaly
<Statutory_Sam> ::read::"Doing Laundry"
<seafoodgod> real lives == alt-tab

#70543 +(134)- [X]

<mspencer> but when people say it's impossible to travel faster than light, they're probably right.  Some extremely interesting and surprising things would have to happen before that could be wrong.
<Wataru> mspencer: like my getting laid?
<Biggy> EXACTALY
<Biggy> IMPROBABLE, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. JUST VERY CLOSE.

#76362 +(118)- [X]

JasonMD325: hold up im workin support
JasonMD325: lemme finish this guy

#79051 +(664)- [X]

<Symantec> HAHAH
<Symantec> my dogs are humping each other, and they are both girls
<Symantec> I should video tape it and put it on Kazaa as "Hot Lesbian Sex"
<LuKe> ROFL
<LuKe> you sick sick fuck
<Extorted-> shut up Luke, you know we'll all be looking for that clip in a few days.

#81905 +(602)- [X]

<Allio> lol... when i woke up my arm was completely numb, cos i'd been sleeping on it... i tried to move it and punched myself in the nose... it bled for almost 30 minutes

#82142 +(228)- [X]

<soul|FL> say hypothetically yesterday i bought a life size buffy blow up doll and had sex with it

#88475 +(313)- [X]

<[Cable]KingKapalone2> anyone have a blackhawk down serial or key generator?
<Claus> 6uy-th3-m0v1e-1n5t3d

#98701 +(2158)- [X]

<@Exor[B-AFK]> yeah apparently a teacher in britain was arrested. on him they found a pencil, eraser, ruler, protractor and compass. They said he was part of the Al Gebra network, and that he had weapons of math instruction!
<@Exor[B-AFK]> HA HA.
* Exor[B-AFK] shoots self

#101881 +(2480)- [X]

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

#104893 +(53)- [X]

<ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
<ChemicalBurn> scarey!
* ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower

#105826 +(236)- [X]

<mercury> CANADA: WE PUT THE "U" IN SATIRE

#110001 +(218)- [X]

<splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and keith richards
<splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine voltron

#113533 +(352)- [X]

<Beltz> This condom in my drawer, it's about to expire. Two weeks left! And those things last for 5 years.
<Dindrane> ... wow.
<Dindrane> Tell me it's a family heirloom or something, passed down?
<Mickster> Just tell me it's not used
<Dindrane> Ya, cuz keeping a used condom as opposed to a packaged one makes you more of a loser?
<Kyatoru> I'd say so. That's a disgusting trophy.
<Beltz> My last 2 or 3 were in my wallet for so long they eventually had holes all over them and were brown inside due to dust. I started carrying one in my wallet at all times due to my last near-sex experience. I have such a wild imagination.
<Dindrane> Beltz - I hear of people having near-deather experiences... but near-sex? Holy shiznit, man.

#122512 +(701)- [X]

<stumpy> I saw my cousin naked one day, got some good use out of that later that night.
<momar> Fer god's sake man!
<momar> That's like eating peanut butter with a fork. It can work, it just ain't right.

#155158 +(388)- [X]

<+Coneja> and something about clitorises i dreamt last night
<+Coneja> a talking clitoris
<+Coneja> that's what it was
<+kevin> hahahahaah
< geekster> a talking clit... that would scare the utter shit out of you
<+preacha> geekster: it would probably diss you
<+preacha> "goddamn, you're doing it all wrong"
<+preacha> "oh look at you, big stud, she looks bored as fuck"
<+preacha> "hey, i think you've forgotten about something........ME!"

#429313 +(1837)- [X]

<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus is created when you masturbate in the bath and your sister falls pregnant by then bathing in the same water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus would blind and cripple random people. And give them leprosy.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus crucified the entire Roman Empire.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus makes you die for his sins.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can sink in water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can turn wine into water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus dares you to stone whores if you're sinner.
<Dharkbayne> He was born in a cave on Easter and was killed in a shootout on Christmas eve when three kings finally tracked him down for outstanding debts of gold and spices.

#522538 +(1349)- [X]

<minion> what should i get for lunch
<minion> i have $4
<keef> 8 packs of ramen and a 3 dollar hooker

#540426 +(1601)- [X]

xyzzy314: i got some rare footage of houdini getting locked out of his car

#556104 +(1524)- [X]

<themole> I was thinking of quiting my job at target
<soapy> you should look into getting a job at goatse
<soapy> I heard they have a large opening

#636765 +(738)- [X]

<selene|metro> and i thought that i saw you looting
<selene|metro> i thought that i saw you gate friends here
<selene|metro> thats me in the dungeon
<selene|metro> thats me in the twilight, losing my connection

#648665 +(897)- [X]

mcilhemnny: see, this is why I like bittorrents
mcilhemnny: Family guy, Seasons... 1-4 + the movie
mcilhemnny: Now thats fucking organisation
mcilhemnny: I don't have to do any work
mcilhemnny: I just sit on my fucking ass and wait...
mcilhemnny: for
mcilhemnny: 196.5 days...
mcilhemnny: awww... the simple life

#697534 +(805)- [X]

<Kalthare> Dammit, I'm losing my stack pointer somewhere in fat_mount(). :(
<Quazgaa> Kalthare: sounds like a bad date

#716192 +(160)- [X]

TaipeiSS: o.o I love the Harvard common app supplement.
TaipeiSS: they don't ask you stupid gay questions that you have to write essays to
zenith251: They don't want no Jibba Jabba.
TaipeiSS: the closest thing they ask is...
TaipeiSS: Briefly discuss one book that has strongly influenced you.
TaipeiSS: Briefly discuss.
TaipeiSS: That's like, a paragraph or two.
zenith251: But halfway through the space they provide "We said brief, damnit!"
TaipeiSS: Not "500 -750 words on a quote that means something to your life and how you exude it in every situation" like fuckin gayassed Cornell
zenith251: And if you keep going past that line, they don't read it.
TaipeiSS: and they get this big purple stamp that says GAY
TaipeiSS: and they stamp it on that part of your essay and print it and send it back to you in the mail
TaipeiSS: And they include a handwritten postit where they laugh at you and say you have no friends.

#736781 +(1139)- [X]

Niall: "There is no "I" in team." "There's no "we" either. However, there IS a "me". So piss off, you micromanaging twerp."
DMac: there's also meat
Niall: And meta.
DMac: and meta
DMac: .. meta-meat?
Niall: Transcendental sausage?
DMac: tame meta-meat
Niall: Farm-raised transcendental pigs.
DMac: tame meta-meat mate?
Niall: Female farm-raised transcendental pig.
DMac: better than mate meta-tame meat
Niall: Bestiality involving a pig raised on a transcendental farm.
DMac: team mate tame meta-meat .... /shudder
Niall: Gangbang bestiality involving a pig raised on a transcendental farm.

#811062 +(1220)- [X]

<MrAnthrope> Uhg. My graphics card keeps crashing.
<knoeki> you obviously have a drunk driver ;)

#839694 +(1356)- [X]

<DRPONEOS> pretty soon nike will open a shoe factory here if the dollar gets much more worthless

#846544 +(182)- [X]

<BillyM> If life were like IRC, my mom would be kicked for flooding and repeating text.

#903635 +(855)- [X]

<Merrick> Only reason I ever payed attention in economics was so I could learn how to merchant in Runescape

#910094 +(508)- [X]

<mitkok> Hey, guys. Is there an easy way to split an array of 100 integers for example and write 3 numbers per line separated by whitespace into a file ?
<Izhido> #include "realeasyfunctions.h"  /      Split100intArrayWrite3xLineWithWhitespaceInto(FILE* f);

0.0326 20982 quotes approved; 5624 quotes pending
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