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#440 +(561)- [X]

<blazemore> we know your hand gets more action jax0ring than your feet do walking
<scar`1> yeah well that's also caused by the fact that i hardly walk

#1716 +(103)- [X]

<occifer> my penis was fat
<occifer> not to long ago
<occifer> so i employed a well known chineese remedy
<occifer> you simple tug and pull at it for a couple of minutes

#1732 +(410)- [X]

<nailhead> Ya, How come there's albinos in all races but theres no ppl that are
the opposeite? like "alblackos" or sumpin?

#1945 +(99)- [X]

<infinity> IT'S AN EAST COAST WEST COAST THANG..BEEEEYOTCH!
<al-x> east coast west coast for inf = russia and france
<infinity> stfu asswipe

#2479 +(825)- [X]

<Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days

#3160 +(82)- [X]

<Spin0ut> devvie: Hey, it may be short, but it sure is skinny

#6053 +(259)- [X]

<pupok> i need ritalin to make the perl bearable.

#7145 +(475)- [X]

<megaHAL> CHESS IS A FUN SPORT, WHEN PLAYED WITH SHOT GUNS.

#8363 +(610)- [X]

<JinBOT2000> beware
<JinBOT2000> or I will reveal my BIGGEST CREATION
<JinBOT2000> <")3
<JinBOT2000> A CHICKEN
<JinBOT2000> IN ASCII
<JinBOT2000> Dare you test me, boy?

#9190 +(572)- [X]

<heyyohey> Im having a lot of lag here. i cant answer the questions in time
<Damarr> Pressing Alt+F4 should help. It stops the client sending useless information to the server
*** heyyohey has quit IRC (Quit: Client exited.)

#10666 +(44)- [X]

<WAP> @find indonesian girl

#11206 +(246)- [X]

<fm> they say if you do the same thing over and over again .. you'll get sick of it. I've been cutting school for more days then I can count and I'm not sick of it yet

#14343 +(440)- [X]

<Paveourroads> in a multiplayer game, you can be all, "Look, I have cooler shit than you." in a singleplayer game, you're like, "OK, my stuff is cool." and you show people who come over to your house and they're like, "You're a loser." so you cry and die. >:(

#16771 +(33)- [X]

{ExDeath} If I had a baby like Shiv, I'd shove it back in and put stitches in my wife's vagina ;(

#17373 +(331)- [X]

<LoRdZephyR> i cant swim
<roboman20> i thought only people with down syndrome couldnt swim
<LoRdZephyR> WELL YOUR WRONG WHORE
* roboman20 hands zeph a chromosome

#33561 +(32)- [X]

<jmitch> fuk
<jmitch> my freakishly large 21" is too fn big >:O

#33988 +(342)- [X]

(Stunty): heh my gf gave me head yesterday while i was on irc typing
(dvast8): fun
(Stunty): she didnt find it funny when i started laughing at something i did on irc
(DownKaos): and they say there are only 10 ways you know your an irc addict

#34346 +(163)- [X]

* moeser looks you up and down   
* moeser whistles   
<moeser> nice transfer rates... yow!

#34528 +(180)- [X]

<pj325is> did you get a boner when your cousin told you about her lesbian experiences?
<BigMilla2> no
<pj325is> ok then
<pj325is> *coughliarcough*
<Cruzn15> are you impitant?
<pj325is> impotent
<StealthBuddha> important?

#36669 +(633)- [X]

<HoaX> did you get your ticket?
<FLB> No :(
<FLB> My dad got home to late.
<FLB> I will get it tommorow *he* says
<HoaX> mmhmmm
<FLB> He's kinda unreliable.
<FLB> Been smoking pot so long.
<HoaX> like your soldier in bed?
<FLB> Pardon me?
<FLB> Did you just comment on my sexual performance?
<HoaX> no... never
<HoaX> i wasnt so asleep during that camping trip
<FLB> That's what I thought.
<FLB> I jizzed in your water bottle.
<HoaX> it happens
<FLB> Yeah.
<FLB> Sorry about that.
<HoaX> no hard feelings
<FLB> It was there, and I didn't want to disrupt nature with my man seed.
<HoaX> but... why was it green and orange?
<FLB> I have issues.
<Peloquin> hahaha
<FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in my nuts.
* Peloquin changes topic to 'http://www.matazone.co.uk/kitty2.htm | <FLB> I have issues. <FLB> And Dr. Seuss lives in my nuts.'
<FLB> Would you jizz in her face? Would you jizz on her lace? Would you jizz here or there, would you jizz anywhere? Would you jizz FLB, would you jizz, jizz on me?
<Syfoon> You both need to see a doctor... a head doctor
<Peloquin> haha
* Peloquin makes it clear that he had no part in the conversation

#40497 +(250)- [X]

<TK-Work> Don't know if I should get 1 1,000 watt fog machine or 2 700 watt fag machines.
<Ouroboros> Whoa.
<Ouroboros> fag machines?
<Ouroboros> What do those do?
<TK-Work> bend over the trick or treaters as they come to the door

#43406 +(278)- [X]

ComTraXG3: i dont usually shave... but i got a haircut a couple of weeks ago, which was the first haircut ive had in almost a year. Now i have short hair and my beard looked dumb, so I shaved it off.
ocaJ+: Did you also get a new set of dice for D&D?

#43943 +(124)- [X]

<Bb|releaseme> Because memorization is an intellectual activity which stimulates the mind.
<Sharku-away> We're talking about Gwindor, Bb|releaseme
<Sharku-away> jk
<Bb|releaseme> LOL
*** Sharku-away has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<Gwindor> see, that is what happens when you insult my intelligence.  peers take care of ya

#51027 +(705)- [X]

[12:42am] <Convinced> darkvibe
<Convinced> what we talked about, i will work on it tomorrow, ok?
<darkvibe> whenever
<darkvibe> no hurry
<darkvibe> and much appreciated
<`rush> oh, way to spark the interest of the ENTIRE FREAKING ROOM.
<[vV]Criminal_Intent> hey `rush, that thing I said about that stuff, I am going to do it the day we planned exactly the way we discussed.
<`rush> [vV]Criminal_Intent: ok, but don't forget to bring that thing that we talked about. make sure it's heated to the temp we decided on. and the panties are the color you mentioned. do you remember the place we converesed about meeting?
<[vV]Criminal_Intent> i remember clearly, I got the panties but dont forget the accesories we discussed or the issues with law enforcment and animal rights
<`rush> ah ah.. right. i'll have to speak with the man who i told you about to clear up the issues we came up with. also, the club drugs i told you about will be X ammount of hours late, where X is equal to the number that we predetermined prior to this conversation.
<`rush> this is getting rediculous.

#52328 +(669)- [X]

*** klaas-sinterkla has joined #photoshop
<klaas-sinterkla> hellol
<klaas-sinterkla> who knows the programm photoshop
<@Anapaest> what kind of programm is it?
<klaas-sinterkla> It's about websites n stuff
<@Anapaest> better ask in #website-stuff then
<klaas-sinterkla> k, thx
*** klaas-sinterkla has left #photoshop

#61025 +(84)- [X]

I like 2eat tape: when i was in 4 th grade there was this awesome 5 grader matthew podawski, i rememeber, and he used to ride his bike to school and mis match socks and and i really wanted to be his friend but he was so weird and he thanked me for the offer but was like "one friend in the world is enough" he then transfered schools

#62407 +(486)- [X]

<kuribo> cacti: got any porn haiku?
<CactusJac> Ejaculation
<CactusJac> Spray your load onto my face
<MikeSweetser> It's what's for dinner.

#84743 +(444)- [X]

Ubergamer: I think the idea that good things come to those who wait comes from the fact that, due to probability theory, on a long enough timeline there is a good chance that at least two good things will occur
Ben: or it's a saying started by people who don't wait that want more good things for themselves
Ben: so they tell those who wait to keep waiting
Ubergamer: they should modernize that saying
Ubergamer: hot chicks come to guys who masturbate
Ben: haha
Ben: and said thusly, one can see the absurdity
Ben: we have successfully debunked an aphorism
Ubergamer: yay!

#98020 +(827)- [X]

<Blum> I was with a girl once and she pointed and laughed. She said "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
<Blum> I said "Me"

#104383 +(16127)- [X]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

#105388 +(64)- [X]

Lint: *beep* thank you for visitint ghte #macintosh store, we are currently replenishing our inventory of "you are a lozar get lost" shirts. press 1 to continue in statement, press 2 for an argument, press 3 for abuse.

#106643 +(211)- [X]

<Mr_Hanky> fubu = Farmers Used to Beat Us?

#113152 +(173)- [X]

<Acidfreek> Last time I was pimped I ended up being banned from Sea World and I had Herpes

#146982 +(314)- [X]

MasochisticAngyl: what i wouldn't give for some flesh or pancres covered in blood right now
XxJoeZeroxX: pancreas?
MasochisticAngyl: thank you for the correction
XxJoeZeroxX: wasnt intended as such, more as a question as to why this organ was singled out.
MasochisticAngyl: the sweetest one
XxJoeZeroxX: i somehow have the feeling being involved with you is going to get me in trouble one day.

#155048 +(5)- [X]

N e o N e s s 19:  i thought guns were bad
N e o N e s s 19:  FALSE
cleschc2:  dude
N e o N e s s 19:  did you know that jesus and moses used guns to defeat the romans?

#186343 +(39)- [X]

<SpAz> watch me rap
<SpAz> <rap>
<SpAz> yo yo yo
<SpAz> nigga bitch hoe
<SpAz> slap fuck bling
<SpAz> bling eskalizzle beeoch
<SpAz> yo
<SpAz> word.
<SpAz> </rap>
* McBilliam applauds
<Wyder> glad to see you listen to music.... (sarcastic)
<SpAz> thank you my record contract is in the mail with def jamz

#209228 +(481)- [X]

<Lannen> (>^_(>O.o)>
<Lannen> GAY KIRBY!

#239159 +(559)- [X]

<Dave> You know, Bash should merge with SomethingAwful. Then it could be a homogenous collection of stupid and unfunny crap
<Mobsta> Something Bashful?

#259326 +(452)- [X]

<Erin> does anyone else think that maybe dairy farmers have been tricking us, and that cows are really bulls, and we all buy bull semen by the litre?
<Erin> it's just whenever I see milk I think of semen that's all
<KateK> Um, maybe you shouldn't let your dad prepare your cereal anymore.
<Homestarrr> hellooo calcium deficiency

#333425 +(1389)- [X]

<Dr_Willis> I also got a "force feedback" mouse :P
AzMoo[w] [~AzMoo@eth4931.sa.adsl.internode.on.net] has joined #***
<Dr_Willis> wife hates it.. "It Bit me!"
<Dr_Willis> i had the Vibe set to max. she thohgh she was getting electrical-shocks
<Dr_Willis> :P
<AzMoo[w]> wow, I came in on the right conversation ...

#343901 +(1264)- [X]

<fugi> I put a note on our fridge saying "find what I peed in and win $1", roomates though it was funny, but a couple friends of ours refused to have some applejuice.

#374277 +(294)- [X]

Demonic: .............  Whoah, this conversation just took the offramp into Pervert Pike, going a good 80 mph even.
Demonic: Not that I'm entirely against such a happening.
YRS: niehter am I
YRS: lol
YRS: I could go for a good hentai right about now
Demonic: Good ole hentai, glossing over Japan's major social problems since 1946.

#400403 +(3351)- [X]

<SmilinBob> !8ball... what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Ask again later.
<SmilinBob> !8ball what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Outlook not so good.

#487300 +(752)- [X]

Magustol: what about a geek nightclub?
Adam r the God: what? instead of a dancefloor, just a bunch of DDR machines?

#705161 +(531)- [X]

NBnate14: GOD DAMNIT MY ROOM MATE IS MOONING ME
NBnate14: AND HE WONT STOP
MikeGinn440: kick his ass literally
NBnate14: damnit it's like live goatse

#756642 +(1612)- [X]

<SaxxonPike> shit
<SaxxonPike> I turned in a paper today
<SaxxonPike> and just now realized the title said "American Herpes"
<SaxxonPike> instead of "American Heroes"
<SaxxonPike> fuck

#788112 +(1574)- [X]

<Macko> helping out another customer with pc problems on the phone again today
<Macko> after he gave me his specs i told him "hold on for a second"
<Macko> three seconds later he's like, "ok, that turned my computer off"

#954191 +(268)- [X]

<aubnorch> how was I unaware of usb onaholes until now
<aubnorch> you plug them in to your computer and load up profiles of your favorite 2d waifus and they -change-
<flesy> are u trying to fuck a  usb port

#961647 +(108)- [X]

<Shoe> Saw the back of a semi-cab today.
<Shoe> It had the text: Jesus Never Tapped Out
<The_Purple_Bunny> No but he did get pinned.

#962726 +(478)- [X]

<@apexthief> Okay we have taco tuesday I need other food day of the week ideas
<@AltRhombu> taco wednesday
<@AltRhombu> taco thursday

0.0673 21096 quotes approved; 1920 quotes pending
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