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#26 +(360)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> 401k's are for homos who fucking intend to live until 65

#755 +(2204)- [X]

<saboteur> sometimes i wish i didtn have a penis
<saboteur> like when i get a wood standing up
<Damien> lol sab
<saboteur> and its hard to hide
<phase5> same
<phase5> or like, when your walking down the street
<phase5> and it hangs out the bottom of your pants
<phase5> and drags on the ground
<saboteur> haha
<saboteur> yeah exactly
<k> or when you lie down and planes crash into it

#890 +(332)- [X]

<EFX> I'm sick of people bashing kiddie porn

#1151 +(690)- [X]

<Synthrev> Ramen...coke is for pussies
<th0m> no, that's *cock*

#2238 +(586)- [X]

<DrWoody> List of things I have accomplished today:
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> That is all.

#3893 +(593)- [X]

<elliptic> does any1 else name their member set/get functions with "Please" in the end?

#3947 +(295)- [X]

<Digital-^> i love brits , every time i hear someone mention a fag break all i can think of is someone knocking on my door , picking me up , and smoking me

#5314 +(177)- [X]

<McMoo> i think i dislocated my esophagus
<orion-> fix it with everclear

#5625 +(297)- [X]

<Veen> if someone said they were 50% gay, would that probably insinuate that they are bi?
<quatoria> It would insinuate they want you to blow them.

#5643 +(218)- [X]

<anju> hell,not only do i not have brains. . . i have EXTRA BOOBS INSIDE MY HEAD instead

#6803 +(524)- [X]

<drdink> what are c31487-a and cc31487-a?
<drwiii> they are numbers, accompanied by letters and dashes.

#8543 +(11)- [X]

<DeadsouL> poke
<T-Broken\w> *giggle*
<T-Broken|w> *giggle*
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken\w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken|w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy

#10197 +(578)- [X]

<Trendarth> wb
<Yamatto> ta
<Trendarth> np
<@antix> why does everyone talk in two letters these days...
<Trendarth> dk
<Trendarth> because our society promotes slothenly behaviour
<@antix> ok

#11609 +(514)- [X]

<Lac> Whats so unfathomable of: Double click zip file, hit extract, click the C: Drive, hit ok.
<hmne> Slow down, double what?

#14722 +(39)- [X]

<meatpie> Cuz I'm a mean nasty cruel asshole who wants to make the entire world eat a loaf of his shit while he stands on high and has his schlong adored by a bunch of really hot red heads with bald snatch!!!!!!!!!!!
<dorqus> meatpie: you sound like marilyn manson

#14781 +(263)- [X]

<throwback> you mean to say that someone overreacted on irc?
<throwback> when the fuck does that happen?

#16529 +(1041)- [X]

<t_h_e_o-> why do u use a period at the end of every sentence?
<dager> ROFL
<dager> BECAUSE
<dager> ITS A FUCKING SENTENCE

#16617 +(111)- [X]

<Deke> hrm
<Deke> thats scary
<Deke> that hot korean chic from the world cup
<Deke> was a man
<|WaR|> i knew it!!!!
<|WaR|> i kept telling ppl...the neck dammit

#20408 +(350)- [X]

<marlana> sorry had another contraction

#31563 +(255)- [X]

<sin|away> wanna see a turtle ride a slug?
<sin|away> compile a vb program in wine

#34408 +(88)- [X]

<o_0--[Away]> is it true that i can get myself messed up from using the die command?
<annjo> you might die

#36700 +(118)- [X]

<Christy> People who talk in metaphors outta shampoo my crotch.
<FL3A|afk> people who shampoo crotches outta shave

#37343 +(227)- [X]

<`Raphael> <venomz> i broke my  finger playen halo 2 much!!!!!
<`Raphael> @_@
<`Raphael> HOW DO YOU BREAK A FINGER PLAING A GAME??
<Rann-chan> Jamming it on the game pad REALLY hard?
<`Raphael> How??
<Rann-chan> Either that or he, like, played it non-stop for 48 hours or something and his fingers were so overstrung that one fractured when he jabbed a button.
<RichardFox> Could be a stress fracture.
<`Raphael> He said he played it everyday for a month.
<RichardFox> Yup, stress fracture.
<Rann-chan> You know what can cure that? A LIFE.

#37372 +(373)- [X]

<Laity> this chick had her friend tell me, she's liked me since middle school
<Laity> that's over 5 freakin years
<Al_Koholic> haha
<Al_Koholic> Is she hot?
<Al_Koholic> "No."
<Al_Koholic> "She has a hot personality"
<Laity> i think she is
<Laity> well, not amazingly hot
<Al_Koholic> Just a good personality, no?
<Al_Koholic> "She's a great person"
<Laity> i put her pic on the net
<Laity> lemme find it
<Laity> (No, i'm not pathetic, i run our class website)
<Al_Koholic> haha, and that's not pathetic?

#40090 +(307)- [X]

<Kestrel> I'm hanging with the wrong crowd.
<Kestrel> One of my friends just asked me what woot meant.

#40484 +(163)- [X]

<Dude68> I just spent the last 15 minutes talking to an AI bot
<Homie22m> i think it was like 50 minutes
<Dude68> shhh.. I'm gonna pretend that it was only 15... so I don't sound lame...

#48016 +(918)- [X]

<Konsole> did your video card come in yet?
<pushit> nope.
<Konsole> those fuckers.
<pushit> my mother got a mop in the mail today though.
<Konsole> ah.
<Konsole> that should make up for it.
<pushit> yeah.
<pushit> it's a sweet-ass mop.
<Konsole> yeah.

#49122 +(163)- [X]

<DAnuba> omfg
<DAnuba> gay pride just came to my house
<C-rEs> ?
<DAnuba> and asked us to join their cause
<C-rEs> haha
<DAnuba> well
<DAnuba> i told them to fuck off
<DAnuba> they called me a fag basher
*later*
<DAnuba> i'm going to a weight lifting convention tomorrow
<C-rEs> heh
<C-rEs> so you did talk to the gay pride guys!

#49131 +(183)- [X]

<PACHUKA> dude, this chick is so fat, "ribbed for her pleasure" means masturbating with a waffle

#49486 +(232)- [X]

<cranky-> pagan: I just catch her when she's not looking
<cranky-> I'll buy her dinner first so it's not rape
<KK-> its just buying sex then
<cranky-> what do you think marriage really is?
<cranky-> it's long term financing on a piece of ass
<_overkill> WORD

#50482 +(150)- [X]

<yegz> styric : pick one question
<yegz> and ask
<styric> which question

#51189 +(164)- [X]

<exx> they're horrible drivers as is, lets not make them kamikaze's
<exx> I bet the jap fighter pilots were trying to land on those ships..

#99804 +(245)- [X]

<sev> i just watched american idol for 10 minutes
* blender pastes a homo sticker on sevr
<cryptonix> do you feel robbed?
<sev> clay sang an amazing rendition of "please let your son go down on me"

#100288 +(840)- [X]

<KZoo> COX
<devilboy> VAGINAL ORIFICE
<KZoo> thats not a service provider
<KZoo> well....i guess it is

#104025 +(332)- [X]

* kanis lost something for mouthing off to an admin
<Cybsled> I hope it wasn't virginity
<kanis> fuck you

#107283 +(180)- [X]

<KnacK|WorK> oximoron of the day "Microsoft To Teach Undergrads About Secure Computing"

#107490 +(494)- [X]

<Torke> haha, tgp couldn't score with a chick if she came right up to him and asked to suck his dick
<Torke> because
<Torke> that happened
<Torke> and he didn't score

#123660 +(959)- [X]

<punchcard_w0rk> i think i will form a computer addiction recovery group.
<punchcard_w0rk> call it "users no longer enslaved to electronic technology"
<punchcard_w0rk> or UnLeet

#196154 +(2051)- [X]

<APingLDer> So how did it go with that cheerleader from down the street that wanted to seduce you?
<naeblis15> Well, I was going to go along, but at the last minute, I had one of those 'Grinch' moments, when my heart went up past my level, and Satan's and Stalin's and Hitler's and a few more levels, to where it was something like normal, and I decided that I should wait until I could have a meaningful relationship, not just casual sex with someone infinitely more popular and beautiful than I am.
<APingLDer>...
<APingLDer>...
<APingLDer>And where was your brain at this point?
<naeblis15>I don't know, but when he gets back he is so fucking grounded

#201950 +(444)- [X]

<@sub> wow my uncle is a moron
! +Washu points ot at chr
<@sub> he got a pirated copy of WinXP and it wasent working good
<@sub> so he calls customer support..

#308569 +(913)- [X]

<Bopo> 10mbit <-
<@swelt> thats nice for you, and we are all glad you brought it to our attention
<@swelt> we admire your amazing connection, and assume that your penis is proportionally large too
<@swelt> we can only hope to attain such large connections (and genetalia) ourselves

#372174 +(2099)- [X]

<frogger> does anone know of an algorithm to generate random numbers in an increasing sequence?
<JubJub> Use the Pullit-Hofften method
<frogger> what's that?
<JubJub> Just ask cheesy how many times he's masturbated today
<CheeseZone> 11, why?

#374938 +(788)- [X]

<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather

#519623 +(1217)- [X]

<rom> if i was ever playing hide and go seek I would want Anne Frank on my team.

#572588 +(539)- [X]

<nerdBeer> so, I just dropped a book _into the toilet_
<ct> home or work?
<popsQ> heh, does it matter?
<nerdBeer> poop's poop, man.
<banquo> Ok,..WHY were you reading a book over a poop filled toilet? And what!? "Poop spotters guide"? "Pooping for dummies"? "The illustrated guide to What the Hell did I Eat"? "Flushing and putting the seat down (A husbands compendium)"?  
<banquo> If you have to stand and read it it has to be porn while your,.........Oh I see

#631598 +(1321)- [X]

<DooMGoaT> OMG
<DooMGoaT> SQUASH THE SPIDER AND WIN AN XBOX 360!
<DooMGoaT> shame none of the 360 games are as good as the spider squashy banner

#638691 +(1511)- [X]

<trent> Dude, did I leave my platinum cube at your house?
<44lark> Nope, I was in the basement today and didnt see it
<trent> shit, I dont know where I left it then
<44lark> ya, hope you find it, im gonna go play Super Smash Brothers
<trent> ok

#726333 +(821)- [X]

MasterH: They should make the entire world follow the same timezone. They could have like orbital mirrors which reflect the sun to every corner of the earth.,
MasterH: And have night at the same time.
Faethyr: And nightime would happen How?
MasterH: Turn off the mirorrs

#945605 +(469)- [X]

lemonlimeskull: Room-mate spends so much time strung-out that he hasn't been taking out the trash, so I just started leaving the full bags all over the kitchen floor.
lemonlimeskull: Was all fun and games for me until he called 911 about the 'black midget gang'.

#945825 +(1807)- [X]

0.0498 20983 quotes approved; 1397 quotes pending
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