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#125 +(338)- [X]

<gloone> reptile is into older women.. and he gets his pics in #100%preteensexpix

#857 +(157)- [X]

<c0njurer> Forecast calls for Kickfest likely, with a slight chance of dickt4yt0r
<c0njurer> kthx

#1175 +(85)- [X]

<Loser> i just got an idea
<Loser> i bet noone's done this before
<Loser> get like 100 guys to come into a bottle
<Loser> and then pay a chick to drink it
<AlmtyBob> Loser: um, that's what bukkake is all about
<ryo-ohki> I have videos to prove it.
<ryo-ohki> We're talking like a fucking clear saucer FULL of spooge
<ryo-ohki> Like, she could pour some cereal on it and still not have enough cereal to finish the jizz off.

#1399 +(347)- [X]

<NCOIC> StarDog, you should see my electronic warfare arsenal. I've got virii and trojans and worms soo old they 'dropped them' from most defensive software...

#1673 +(281)- [X]

<LkTrout1> enex's underwear is big enough to fit over Hatter's ego.

#2039 +(301)- [X]

<hypr> joker is playing all his vinyl from 1998
<hypr> heh
<hypr> or somthing
<hypr> old ;P
<caspuh> hah
<caspuh> 98?
<caspuh> they had vinyal then?

#2667 +(605)- [X]

<eldee> uNF = universal noise of fucking
<BombScare> usually the only thing i hear when im fucking is "who the fuck are you"

#3358 +(161)- [X]

<tril0gy> i think with my gov't tax return i'm gunna buy a redmav
<spicrx7> you're better off getting a shirt that says "I suck cock."
<ChronosGW> Then you and DMC can be mav-buddies
<spicrx7> same effect as having a red mav
<spicrx7> except the tshirt would be worth more

#4236 +(408)- [X]

<SaeNoDa> but I wont
<SaeNoDa> i mean, whats the point in cheating, right?
<mightyflo> winning?

#6142 +(26)- [X]

<Quick1> ok, testing my quit message
*** Quick1 (~Quick1@ has left #fark

#6301 +(313)- [X]

<rewben> wh00t, i made online fax server yo
<rewben> it even w0rkz
<m0f73> @)!!!!!
<m0f73> theres no h in w00t

#7167 +(49)- [X]

<[7^11^Dropout]> i will put you in a wheelchair witha shpinning, half-twist, lebanese heel kick mate
<Mousey> if you were lebanese you would still be working at 7-11
<Mousey> lying cunt

#10445 +(441)- [X]

<Lokonopa> you know what would be the funniest thing to see? when those spelling bee contests come on tv, and the announcer gives a kid a really hard word to spell...and at that exact moment a guy in the back screams "HOLY FUCK!"

#13529 +(42)- [X]

<MrMonkey> an aura is the spirit that surrounds all of bodies
<MrMonkey> healers use it
<MrMonkey> they claim they can see how strong or weak one's aura is
<BlurNM> thought it was something like that (if it wasn't the northern lights)

#13592 +(302)- [X]

* Thirty-nothingster will kick the next person who spoils
<Pong64> Darth Vader is Luke's father. =D

#13921 +(78)- [X]

<kineticupid> asian + mullet = cant get better

#14658 +(360)- [X]

<Funk> Apparently Lisa Left-Eye Lopez would have survived that crash, only the hospital heard about her strict "no scrubs" rule.

#14729 +(249)- [X]

<Sin> there must be a better way to get money then to actulyl get a job

#16601 +(430)- [X]

<Weirdo> Sooty just brought a mouse into my room
<Weirdo> brb
*** Weirdo is now known as Weirdo|F00d

#16633 +(244)- [X]

<eller> i ate sushi today
<eller> i hoped that it would cure my hangover
<eller> but i just puked it up
<motardo> not good
<eller> raw fish is even more disgusting when it comes out of your mouth...
<eller> it swims in the toilet on its own.

#16719 +(202)- [X]

<eugenics/#help> hi, i was going to search for how to cook an omlette online.. but i dont know how to spell it

#17960 +(191)- [X]

<Kirke> I had interests too
<Kirke> But they all ended in court

#19883 +(354)- [X]

<@hypnotix> dammit this sucks.. i got Daikatana for my b-day

#20891 +(653)- [X]

<Fraud> hehe ill never forget in math class in high school back in the day, 2 negros get in a fight and one stabs the other with a screw driver right in front of me when im like a freshman, then some black girls stands up and screams OH SHEET HE STABBED CORNBREAD

#33568 +(125)- [X]

<DoctorRiff> darkNook> nope, no breast pumps in my purse
<DoctorRiff> WAIT I MEAN
<DoctorRiff> crap

#37191 +(126)- [X]

<goober> Man, my wrist hurts
<flatu_Lance> Start using your other arm.
<goober> What are you sayin', that I beat off too much?
<flatu_Lance> Hey, I'm just saying when you use the other arm it's like a stranger's doing it, and it gives your regular arm a rest.

#38244 +(269)- [X]

<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> have... to... get... out of... chair
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> argh
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> i have to go to the toilet but i've to go all the way down then
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> downstairs
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> i'm at the attick
* YoungBlood throws a pie down the stairs
* {GkC}-LiQ[na] runs after it
<Azzid> owned!! :D

#40490 +(1229)- [X]

<AMD_aTHLON_MP> mnajdi@microsoft.aint.nothing.but.a.system-crash.net
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> yeh
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i work for microsoft
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> oh ok
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> to u know l cracked the windows xp home
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> heh so what
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> many people crack our software
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> do u know the trick
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> once you try and install service pack 1 your ip will be logged and traced
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l work for the tnt2 cracker team
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> we cracked over 40 milon softwares
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> look man
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> we got a ip logging that gives u fake traces
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> microsoft already makes millions from coporate buyers
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> that how we cracked win xp home
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i already got your IP from IRC
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> @acc6-ppp29.hay.dialup.connect.net.au
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l, joking
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i can call your ISP and ask them who you are
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l not evevn useing win xp home
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l,m sorry
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l was only jking
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> plz forgive me
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l got a licesed copy of win98
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> plz forgive me

#41338 +(564)- [X]

<Heather21> hi
<negativepositive> who are you?
<Heather21> just a wife home alone
<Heather21> hubby is out
<negativepositive> good - start cleaning the house before he comes home and hits you some more

#43216 +(464)- [X]


#44204 +(168)- [X]

<TBNE> does it cost ?
<Adonai> TBNE, it's free as the black man in 1819

#45104 +(803)- [X]

<The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
<Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
<Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
<Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"

#45113 +(456)- [X]

<phr0work> redhat really fucked you in the ass
<`KArmA> not yet it hasn't, but its definitely giving me a bit of a rimjob and whispering it suggestively

#47627 +(403)- [X]

<tn> !@)#(%&#R
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> hahaha
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<tn> everything.,
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on.  try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time.  i have better things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
<Peon> ^^

#52969 +(178)- [X]

* @[b]elitE is away, bored [Pants:OFF] [Hands:ON]

#54543 +(998)- [X]

Tarja: TODAY in auto shop
Tarja: there was this giant spider crawling about in Penguin's engine and i insisted no one kill it
Tarja: then Penguin came back (it was his car) and i showed him it
Tarja: and he was like, oh yeah, that's the engine spider, he checks the oil and stuff
Tarja: makes sure everything's running ok

#56360 +(443)- [X]

<Mentar> why did hitler kill himself?
<JoltX> because he was deranged
<JoltX> and he didnt want to give the jews the satisfaction
<Mentar> wrong
<Mentar> he saw the gas bill

#71896 +(343)- [X]

<SirLudicrus> What are those hats that have beer can mounts on each side called?
<Kurin> Stupid

#74992 +(222)- [X]

<Corvis> dead girls dont say no
<Pulp|^^> Dead girls don't need to be bought a drink ^^
<Corvis> dead girls dont need valentines day
<Latino|Awayzz> dead girls dont care if you're finished in 12 seconds flat

#75307 +(553)- [X]

<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email, and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones.  Now I have 500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.

#91968 +(647)- [X]

<cae> i wonder what sales calls will be like with video phones
<DarthBong> at least then you'll be able to flip them off
<DarthBong> or hang up a porn picture over the camera
<cae> hehe...print out goatse.cx pictures and flash them to unsuspecting sales people
<DarthBong> hehe
<keetz> hahaha
<DarthBong> "hang on a sec, i can't remember where I left my credit card.... Oh, i left it in.. (goatse.cx guy) HERE"

#106390 +(240)- [X]

<Mad|Mungkee> I was playing everquest once and this guy killed himself with a shotgun and broadcasted it in East Commons
<Mad|Mungkee> pretty sad
<brasshorse> did his elf die

#162653 +(221)- [X]

Wryol: Ouch
Blood4Shame: What?
Wryol: Nothing
Blood4Shame: What is wrong hun?
Wryol: ......brb
Blood4Shame: Ok?
Wryol: Accidentally cumming on cuts burns and stings more than Peroxcide.
Blood4Shame: Aww...  Well it's calcium, so good for the bones, right?
Wryol: ...Remind me never to mention things like that to you again.

#301935 +(1289)- [X]

<Beer^Me> hey guys
<Beer^Me> i need to print stuff from phothsop and it has a lot of White
<Beer^Me> is their a way to NOT print the white?
<Beer^Me> caue the paper is white

#414341 +(424)- [X]

kevin: what did you do tonight
Lucious: worked you?
kevin: haha no no, you didnt work me...i wouldve noticed

#573856 +(80)- [X]

<seaster> this kid once said to me he was 10% gay and that he thought it was normal.
<seaster> i said to him "it would suck if that 10% was your cock"

#633515 +(1808)- [X]

<werro> damnit :/
<werro> my dad found my porn
<Bob112> So what? I bet my dad knows I have porn.
<werro> but my dad didnt know Im gay :/
<Bob112> Um, like, neither did I
* werro has left #hookerz

#655157 +(428)- [X]

<Eddo36> sometimes I feel like shit, you know, what sick shit I get off to. but I can't change
<Littlelisa> You know eddo, if you never said anything, people may like you
<Eddo36> if i never said anything, who would know me?
<Littlelisa> thats the point

#761842 +(1268)- [X]

<bofh> slugbug uh
<bofh> One time I passed this person driving
<bofh> One hand holding a cup of coffee
<bofh> the other hand holding her cellphone to her ear
<bofh> No hands on the keyboard.
<bofh> She wound up trying to merge INTO us.
<tgies> they call it a "steering wheel" I think

#937383 +(1471)- [X]

<woodenleg> what should i get my gf for her birthday?
<spherXz> your virginity
<woodenleg> lol, something i haven't already given her?
<spherXz> an orgasm
<woodenleg> i'll ask someone else...

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