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#135 +(2608)- [X]

<apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our fucking school
<apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
<apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on me

#317 +(788)- [X]

<Megumi> hahaha ASL nate :P
<NtG> yourage + 1/if you = female { me = male } else { me = female }/surrey

#602 +(50)- [X]

*** banned[sleep] was kicked by Syber (Lotto Mockery. Shut the fuck up You fucking soggy assed cock sucking mother fucking faggot. You're not even impressing your own mother with cunt-flapped shennanigans like that. No mockery, no cockery, no knocking me. BANNED! 15 minutes.)

#960 +(496)- [X]

<c-rOCK> man napster is like tupac, that shits never going to die.

#1592 +(193)- [X]

<parag0n> LOL I JUST HACKED MY SCHOOL
<trigg`> what exploit?
<parag0n> I USED ROOTKIT
<trigg`> um ok but what exploit?? and what OS do they run?
<parag0n> I TOLD U ROOTKIT, AND THATS THE FUNNY PART THEIR SO LAME, THEY RUN WINDOWS98!! LOL!!!
<trigg`> uh ok

#3163 +(1012)- [X]

<drlion> linux hacker 1: i'm bored.  linux hacker 2: let's re-write the whole kernel!  linux hacker 1: ok.  *hackety-hack*  linux hacker 1: wow, it's 0.00001% faster and takes up 1kb less space!  linux hacker 2: w00t.

#4769 +(290)- [X]

<kyle> if you are aroused by the sight of a penis, are you gay?
<Scofco> nope
<kyle> good
<Scofco> you're A FUCKING QUEER FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE
<Scofco> either that, or a girl
<Scofco> but even girls don't get aroused by penises
<Scofco> at least not MY penis :(

#5483 +(539)- [X]

<kkenn> Traffic lights
<kkenn> Remember folks. Traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also properly timed for 70 mph.

#6493 +(467)- [X]

<[Shinji]> Arrrr... bend over laddie and I'll show ye a fishstick that makes it's OWN tatar sauce....#($*

#8789 +(612)- [X]

<Stain> when i was 8 i still thought girls were the enemy. Now, 12 years later, i'm fucking one.
<HailBrak> stain: an 8 year old girl?
<Idioteq> WITH A KNIFE

#11686 +(339)- [X]

<Hydrac7> Bukkake!
<Clockwork> hahaha
<Clockwork> BUKKAKE
<Alice`> I don't know why people giggle so much when someone mentions bukkake, let me tell you there's nothing funny about the manseed of 182 guys dripping down your face.
<Alice`> Well you might giggle a bit afterwards, but you don't mean it really.
<pot-shot> yeah you giggle, its like anxiety laughter, because oh fuck you are alive, for the fucking love of god you are alive, and it tastes like rice pudding, delicoius perfect rice pudding and there is literally gallons of it around you

#13629 +(562)- [X]

<Flirbnic> The American dream is to move to Canada.

#14399 +(213)- [X]

<radii> i'm unRARing, listening to an MP3, AOLing, useing FlashFXP, Serv-U, AIM, mIRC and going to that wepage
<baloo_> aoling = molesting 13 year-old girls online?
<pagan> baloo: no it means your messaging them to come over and get molested
<radii> yeah, duh!

#14482 +(193)- [X]

<clay> i heard joey submitted the first rfc for irc
<clay> something along the lines of D00D WE NEED WAREZ TRADING 2 ORGANIZE N SHIT

#14600 +(194)- [X]

<Wilik> i'd download the .txt version of the bible
<Wilik> but it might corrupt my computer

#16798 +(613)- [X]

<+subzero> =)
<@nebula> ;)
<@wickeD> =)
<Guest62972> :D
<@sony> SHUT THE FUCK UP HAPPY BASTARDS ARR

#22658 +(388)- [X]

<nae> will you guys PLZZ stop that?
<nae> are there any mods around that can ban them plz?
<@Athene> nae: what is the problem?
<nae> correct me if i'm wrong but isn't this channel for d/l?
<@Athene> no, this is a chat channel
<nae> isn't htere any law against spamming?
<nae> slyspy hold 1 out of every two messages in here!
<@slyspy> nothing unusual in that
<@Athene> that is called a conversation
<@Athene> maybe you have had one before
<@Athene> or at least seen them in movies ;)
<nae> then can you plz convirsate in a new chat??? cause it blocks 0.7 of my d/l's speed!

#33104 +(1132)- [X]

<mem-out> .=~
<mem-out> flea with a flamethrower
<wob> ^- idiot with a keyboard

#33861 +(42)- [X]

<kaye> what, like EFnet has a monopoly on lamers? oh wait..

#34551 +(26)- [X]

<Averox> and I'm about to shove my fist through someone's head. Begins with an "L" and ends with a "ordship"

#34663 +(565)- [X]

<RushMore> Shit, i was in physics and near shit myself
<RushMore> THe place went black, and i thought i crashed
<RushMore> THEN a light came on, and i saw a ball dropping, but it was only at like 8fps
<RushMore> I thought "Shit, i need a new graphics card"
<RushMore> Then i found out, the teacher turned out all the lights, put on a strobe light at 8flashes/s and dropped a ball so you could see its accelleration
<RushMore> Dickhead.

#39617 +(206)- [X]

<DocGonzo> it's a nice world where you can apply for a job and send a resume without getting clothes on :)

#40345 +(203)- [X]

*** Melchior (none@1df4f87e.a763dad.dragon.net.au) has joined #allniterz
*** Ass-Mastah sets mode: +a Melchior
<Orlyx> lol
<Melchior> what
<Orlyx> ur hostmsak
<Tripper> Melchior you, my friend, are gay
<Orlyx> what happened?
<Orlyx> *** Melchior (none@one.inch.killer.org) has joined #allniterz
<Orlyx> lol wtf
<Orlyx> whyd u get that as ur vhost
<Melchior> lol wtf!
<Orlyx> lol
<Melchior> i have no idea
<Orlyx> i bet if u quit and come back itll go away
<Melchior> i never saw it
*** Melchior (none@1df4f87e.a763dad.dragon.net.au) Quit (Quit: )
<Orlyx> lmfao
<Orlyx> god i love him

#42390 +(922)- [X]

Thainthallas: oh... so... the other night, i go into software etc.
Thainthallas: and i walk up and say "i want to reserve a copy of metroid prime"
Thainthallas: the guy starts trying to talk to me about the game, and asking stuff like if i was "really excited to see the new metroid"
Thainthallas: i said "well... I'm really not sure about the whole thing, but the girlfriend said 'me wantie' so I buyie"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants metroid prime?"
Thainthallas: "yes, yes she does"
Thainthallas: "she also says i need to buy vice city"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants vice city?"
Thainthallas: by now, i start to realize that he's getting a little jealous
Thainthallas: so i just say "yeah, and she's hot, too!"

#45694 +(106)- [X]

<narby-away> fucking stoners
<narby-away> get high on life lol!
<Rottencrotch> lol
<Rottencrotch> no we have to get high BECAUSE of life

#49485 +(376)- [X]

<[-FcG-]Digger> LOLOLOL, Some lady just called my cell and was like "Hi I'd like to place an order"  So I took it!  She's gonna be pissed when the pizza doesn't arrive.
<[-FcG-]Digger> LMAO CLASSIC
<[-FcG-]Digger> Oh man, I RULE!

#49573 +(176)- [X]

Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat and what you can eat is blurred

#49660 +(218)- [X]

<Radiosity> Mom sells baby for $2,000, buys VCR and PlayStations
<Frizlefry> who'd actually buy a baby?
<Frizlefry> like I want to take care of someone else's kid
<Frizlefry> I mean, the only way I'd buy a baby is if I were a pedophile or a cannibal
<Frizlefry> BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME
<Radiosity> or both!
<Frizlefry> yes. tenderize the shit out of it before cooking

#56170 +(20)- [X]

TaniquaLoL: i stole my moms stash and sold it to her friend hahaha
EyezBloodshot: lmao
TaniquaLoL: shes all bitchy now though

#58097 +(204)- [X]

<mootlife> wtf
* mootlife prayers have been answered
<mootlife> bus full of hot chicks just came here
* mootlife goes outside

#59595 +(324)- [X]

<chris> i have one guy arguing that init.d scripts need to support mixed-case arguments
<chris> "My first suggestion is to modify the way you match 'start' and 'stop' in
<chris> your case statement.  While technically, there is nothing wrong with the
<chris> way you match it, I prefer [Ss][Tt][Aa][Rr][Tt] and [Ss][Tt][Oo][Pp].  Using
<chris> this method, the matching is now case insensitive."
<reflector> I'd email him back: "[sS][hH][uU][tT] [tT][hH][eE] [fF][uU][cC][kK] [uU][Pp]"
<reflector> match that, asshole.

#59612 +(576)- [X]

<blitz> i'm allergic to alcohol
<blitz> I drink a 12 pack and I break out in hand-cuffs

#69709 +(41)- [X]

*** Quits: Columbia (Connection reset by atmosphere)

#81394 +(8)- [X]

<RichiH> bathing supports terrorism

#83746 +(401)- [X]

(@Hektik) once i saw my grandparents have sex and thats why i dont eat rasins

#84556 +(316)- [X]

cougah66: dude, i am so uber fucked
cougah66: I mean, the uberness, of the fuckage....it boggles the mind

#98382 +(78)- [X]

<H> damn... i can think of that to hide pr0n but i can't remember mother's day... must work on priorities

#105708 +(269)- [X]

<timmo> its kind of weird
<timmo> my grandma dropped acid
<timmo> and hijacked a school bus full of penguins
<timmo> so its kind of a family crisis

#137523 +(285)- [X]

<@ryan> theres acpi crap in my kernel
<@jon^c> eat more fiber

#154501 +(1516)- [X]

<Neo> I woke up the other morning at 4:00 am to find some woman banging on my door. I was like, WTF?.... So I got up, and let her out.

#243000 +(1773)- [X]

<shaqzilla> I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

#402959 +(334)- [X]

Hyp3rHax0r: they say office romances never work out
Hyp3rHax0r: they're probably right
Hyp3rHax0r: what kind of weirdo falls in love with an office?

#498482 +(2099)- [X]

Crimson Seiko: Maybe a newer version of AIM obliterated the future?
Crimson Seiko: * feature

#595604 +(510)- [X]

<jeffrey> guys why does amazon.com suck so much
<jeffrey> it says my estimated ship date is jan 3
<jeffrey> yet on the product pages they both say usually ship within 24 hours
<cromicus> i hope you're ordering a copy of the dictionary that contains a definition for the word "usually"

#595681 +(87)- [X]

[@JigsWithoutWoodstock] Phil: Could you repeat that, I was distracted by a pig flying past my window

#647279 +(510)- [X]

creativeembassy: you know what's really, REALLY cool about the dvorak keyboard?
glotigerglo: what
creativeembassy: when you're playing hangman, all you gotta do is hit everysingle key on the home row, and you automatically kick your opponent's ass

#714459 +(95)- [X]

* Now talking in #schizophrenia
* Topic is 'Welcome to chat for suffers and family and friends affected by schizophrenia - a brain disease.'
* Set by para on Tue Nov 14 18:00:23
<CaffeineBoy> hey
<CaffeineBoy> so... do you guys make individual usernames for your multiple personalities?

#741630 +(1214)- [X]

<matt____> hey guys is there a way to patch an older redhat server??
<matt____> Linux devcvs 2.2.16-22 #1 Tue Aug 22 16:49:06 EDT 2000 i686 unknown
<Evolution> holy hell
<Evolution> 2.2.16?
<Evolution> just out of curiosity, what's the uptime on that antique?
<matt____> devnu11:18am  up 2287 days,  2:52, 25 users,  load average: 1.76, 1.26, 0.70
<Zathrus> gods

#805000 +(598)- [X]

<Quadlex> sparc: One of my mates works for a porn company and is keeping an ear open for vacancies
<moreon> Quadlex: I wouldn't hold my breath on that. I bet they plug every hole they find pretty quickly.

#835536 +(1276)- [X]

<korn> yeah so i got into ITT tech today
<possible> what did you have to do?
<possible> open the door?
<korn> up yours man

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