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#856 +(527)- [X]

<Gussy> Does anyone here know much about exercise?
<fs`> is that an emu?

#1267 +(542)- [X]

uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause

#1325 +(827)- [X]

<immi> a penny for your thoughts
<dr\gonzo> a nickle for anal with your mom

#2224 +(46)- [X]

<ViBeZz> thats the thing i dont wanna partition my hard drive
<|Z|> ViBeZz if you don't partition your HD, you're a fucking moron and you deserve to die

#4852 +(343)- [X]

<ryo-ohki> and it would be an understatement to say I AM FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND
<DCBastard> lol - what else is new?
<DCBastard> one day you should come into the channel and go "WOW - I AM TOTALLY FUCKING STRAIGHT" - we'd all be like "holy shit! that is amazing!"

#7749 +(419)- [X]

<ViViD> Dude I'm still getting 20ms pings!
<RTT> err thats normal
<ViViD> Yeah but I just doubled my upload bandwidth!
<RTT> Yes?
<ViViD> Well why hasn't my ping halfed?
<RTT> Dude doubling your upload bandwidth wont affect your ping
<ViViD> Shutup you geek

#8522 +(17)- [X]

<StoneCold> AND AFTER OL' STONE COLD IS DONE WITH THE ROCK, HE'S FIXIN TO WHIP HIS WIFE'S ASS!!

#11640 +(36)- [X]

<Aboshi> This girl at work changed the desktop to the student aide machine to a picture of herself. Talk about conceited.
<Temujin> Punch her in the face.
<Aboshi> I can't. She's Pakistani and would come back the next day and blow me up.

#12752 +(38)- [X]

<sneak> do you use gnutella?
<satman> no i use mirc

#12787 +(554)- [X]

<Wilke> LEMME SHOW YOU MY FORECAST
<Wilke> COLD WITH LOTS OF FUCKING SNOW AND LIGHTNING
<Wilke> LOW OF REALLY FUCKING COLD
<Wilke> HIGH OF REALLY NOT QUITE AS FUCKING COLD

#15181 +(268)- [X]

<red> just because something makes you briefly nauseous doesn't mean it's wrong
<mute> red, that's what i tell my woman

#17828 +(352)- [X]

<standby> i'm moving to my own office tomorrow
<standby> i feel so cool
<standby> i'll be able to mastrubate while i work
<standby> well i allready do but it will be easier

#19718 +(42)- [X]

<FutabaAoi> find me a life plz
<knee> that'll be $8.00
<FutabaAoi> if i had to buy 2 then like the ones he is selling must be defective
<mightyflo> naah, they're just 3rd party
<mightyflo> hk bootlegs
<FutabaAoi> god knows i wanna live like an hk fob
<FutabaAoi> ill pass k thx

#20537 +(198)- [X]

<Communista> I'm going to hell.
<Communista> I'm just a wicked person.
<Communista> I was on lunch with the trainees and a news story came on about the showing (funeral) of a man that drowned...
<Communista> and I turned to them and said "Wanna go see a dead body?"

#22193 +(107)- [X]

<@cvd> is it odd that i've watched so much porn that I recognize boobies?
<@axxessdenied> no
<@axxessdenied> its perfectly normal
<@axxessdenied> ...i hope
<@cvd> is it odd that i've watched so much porn that I recognize boners?
<@axxessdenied> OMFG GAYZ!!!!!!!
<+auero> I'd go to a doctor about that

#34070 +(887)- [X]

<melvin> you need a mullet piccolo
<piccolo> [Jan Johnston - Unafraid][3m52s/192kbps/stereo]
<piccolo> :/
<piccolo> [DeVision - Heart-Shaped Tumor (Icon Of Coil Mix)][5m38s/192kbps/stereo]
<melvin> don't make me turn my mp3 script back on >:|
<piccolo> [01 - Martyr][4m06s/224kbps/stereo]
<piccolo> [Fear Factory - Martyr][4m06s/224kbps/stereo]
<melvin> that's it assmunch
<melvin> prepare to be assaulted by fagotry
* melvin IS SENDING WINAMP DATA TO MIRC!! HE IS PLAYING Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus OMG OMG OMG!! I HOPE THIS ISN'T ANNOYING ^_^ KEKEKEKE HUK HUK HUK - NOW GET ON YOUR KNEE'S AND BOW BEFORE ME!! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus ! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus ! Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus !!!
* melvin dances! :D|-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
* melvin dances! :D/-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
* melvin dances! :D|-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
* melvin dances! :D-< Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus
<melvin> Please note as I (melvin) am playing Dillinger Four - Mosh for Jesus. It is currently 19:25:19 - 18/09/2002
<Kitsa> melvin: fuck off
<melvin> <3

#36514 +(669)- [X]

<dOink> brb gotta drop the kids off at the pool
<dOink> i mean... i gotta shit
dOink (dOink@vw27711.pacific.net.au) is now known as dOi[fOOd]
<logicalentity> wtf?!
<logicalentity> food?!
<logicalentity> I thought...
* logicalentity runs away screaming

#37505 +(417)- [X]

<Ray[RDN]> My skin is all pale, im like superskinny, and I smell bad.
<Ray[RDN]> I think i'm dead

#46541 +(791)- [X]

* Sep mst find a working free ISP for gods sack
<BlazeHedgehogAdvance> God's Sack? Isn't that..
<BlazeHedgehogAdvance> Sack-religious?

#46704 +(283)- [X]

<Swedishfish> he encodes to .rm
<Swedishfish> he cant say shit about divx encoded eps being shitty
<neclimdul> that's not even encoding
<EddyB43> RM is destruction.
<EddyB43> I might as well fire up BMP and draw crappy pictures of a show while it airs.

#48295 +(135)- [X]

<Shinvega>  Whether you want kids or not, eventually you're gonna slip one past the goalie ;)

#49147 +(557)- [X]

(timmo) #33375 +(-61)- [X]
(timmo) <jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
(timmo) <jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
(timmo) classic jestuh quote
(timmo) how can that be -61
[pHluid] Dunno, they must've thought it was a nigger joke.

#49322 +(78)- [X]

<Lestat> I should invent a way to make porn into music.
<Matrix_McCloud> yes
<Lestat> So you could be rocking out and looking at porn at the same time.
<Matrix_McCloud> oh
<Lestat> By like, rocking out to porn.

#62922 +(264)- [X]

<prevyet> in my search for martial arts-related channels on Undernet I came up with 5 white supremist channels and one martial arts channel run by a white supremist

#76569 +(347)- [X]

* Les16F is now known as guywants3some

#76887 +(881)- [X]

<Antioch> My penis is annoying.
<Antioch> "Ugh."
<Mitch> Howso?
<Antioch> "Morning sir! How are you today sir?"
<Antioch> "Shut up."
<Antioch> "I've got your coffee, sir."
<Antioch> "Shut up, I said."
<Antioch> "Slept well, sir?"
<Antioch> "Can you just stop standing up like that?"
<Antioch> "Can't, sir. I'm too happy, sir."
<Antioch> "Damn you!"

#90196 +(142)- [X]

<InVerse> Christ, I went to GameFAQs and didn't look at the poll question and was thoroughly confused when the first answer was Under 13"

#100322 +(815)- [X]

<Gareth> HOW DO I DOWNLOAD GAMES!!!
<TK421-> WHOA LIKE I CAN TELL YOU HOW YO!
<TK421-> Go to download.com and download a few game demos, depending on which ones you download they will combine to make different versions of MECHADEMO! *sings power rangers theme song*
<Gareth> DUDE FUCK YOU

#106566 +(436)- [X]

<ehk> anyone know what "PXE-E61: Media test failure, check cable" mean
<sta-hi> ehk: it means that your PXE-E61 failed
<sta-hi> due to a meida test failure
<sta-hi> you should check your cable

#124730 +(74)- [X]

<Roogle> You could ban the whole Arab Emirates, for I've never seen anyone on IRC from there
<Onyx> heh
<Onyx> ban an entire country :p
<Prometheus> I vote we ban belguim
<Prometheus> they're not trustworthy
<ian> yeah, then we can ban england and japan too.
<Prometheus> england is funny though
<Onyx> I say we ban the Swiss
<dn> *!*@*.fr
<UfoZ> I say we ban romania?
<Onyx> their neutrality is too suspicious...
<Kyou> lol
<Kyou> BAN THE FRENCH
<Prometheus> I bet the swiss are building an army like right now
<Kyou> yeah
<Kyou> neutral, my ass
<Onyx> nah, Kal's from France.  Probably the only cool person in the entire country though
* Fujiko sets mode: +bbbbbbb *!*@*.jp *!*@*.uk *!*@*.fr *!*@*.be *!*@*.se *!*@*.br *!*@*.ro

#137437 +(1598)- [X]

<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me. I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend, fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits". My second thought was, "Wow, so does he",

#146008 +(769)- [X]

<Winterhart> I just told my mom "AFK, I'm going to work"
<Winterhart> She's like, "What?"
<Winterhart> I told her it means "just so you know" in latin :/

#165682 +(364)- [X]

<_sdc_-> ok, so yeah. i think i set a new land speed record for killing hard drives.
<_sdc_-> it's fucked, and i have a lot of data to back up.
<_sdc_-> like 80 gigs or so.
<qDotWork> Ever thought about just like, writing everything down on paper?
<qDotWork> It's only 80,000,000,000 or so bytes.
<_sdc_-> yeah, those mp3s will sound great on a nice legal pad.
<qDotWork> Winamp for the mind, man.

#174725 +(220)- [X]

<MST3Claye> there's a site out there that shows people beating super monkey ball levels really really fast.
<Merlin> I plan on setting a new world speed record for Monopoly one of these days...
<Merlin> It's called we sit down, setup the game, I pull a gun and go "look bitches, give me all your money and nobody gets hurt!"
<Merlin> then I take the thimble hostage at the Water Works and force everyone to surrender to me, then I win the game.
<Merlin> I figure my friends suck so much, I could win it in about 30 seconds with that strategy.

#221367 +(1215)- [X]

<PasteyGamer> So, what class of character would you like to be?
<Malt_Liqa> Possibly a theif.
<PasteyGamer> Um, alright. There are many forms of that class like, rogue, assassin...
<Malt_Liqa> I'll be an assassin!
<PasteyGamer> Are you sure, there are some downsides.
<Malt_Liqa> Are you fucking kidding?! It has ass in it! TWICE!
<PasteyGamer> Why the fuck haven't I killed you yet?

#239081 +(982)- [X]

<Midnight> Telemarketers are sooo fun to screw with.
<Midnight> Like this one time, I got a call from one obviously trying to get me to change my long distance carrier or some b.s. like that.
<Midnight> The dialogue went something like this:
"May I speak person who is in charge of the phone services in your house?"
"Ummmm...We don't have a phone."
"Well, then what are you talking to me on?"
"A banana?"
<Midnight> I think they hung up after that.

#239995 +(1460)- [X]

<Drychtnath> csn hold sm u ajcp;pjp
<Drychtnath> *I cns hdol mu alclhoo
<Drychtnath> *can, *hold, *my, *alcohol
<getoutofmygalley> You should really go to bed, Dan. You're way too drunk.
<Drychtnath> butr i'm not
<Drychtnath> least i don't think dfo
<Drychtnath> dfo = spo
<Drychtnath> spo = os
<Drychtnath> os = so

#255630 +(1410)- [X]

<bullava> I was watching Conan one night and there was a scottish guy on and he was saying that the original kilts where used as a sleeping bag as well as clothing .... and that since the kilt was so heavy scottish warriors would take it off and run into battle butt naked
<BraveFencer> Makes sense.  Exit the world the samre way you entered.  Naked and screaming.
<bullava> and plus whats more scarier seeing a man painted blue and butt naked running at you
<BraveFencer> The above, only with an erection and a bottle of lube in one hand.

#328175 +(743)- [X]

Scrodule: i have an interesting obesrvation
ezeerB: ?
Scrodule: if you swing your finger by your ear really fast, you get this very low sounding "wfff" noise
Scrodule: hmm, that sounded more profound while i was thinking about it

#419733 +(829)- [X]

Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my friend

#421788 +(1260)- [X]

*** DickHead5 was kicked by TJ32 (3.80265176 10^-09 millenia long ban. (394 Served.))
TJ32 sets mode: +b *!*java@*.cos2.cable.ntl.com
<@DrLavaGoddess> LMAO
<@DrLavaGoddess> Now that's funny
<WhoaOutOfControl> Haha
<WhoaOutOfControl> how long is that ban
<@TJ32> 2 minutes.

#447596 +(746)- [X]

<@topsoil> The College Jeopardy winner wagered $1,337 in Final Jeopardy... seems more like the geek hero to me :)
<@topsoil> I was hoping he'd come back and lose and then Alex would be like, "Sorry to say this...but you wagered $1337 and lost, which now means, *holds up sign* 'j00 4r3 n0t 1337.'"
<@topsoil> Either that or Alex would just look at him and say, "pwn3d".

#478193 +(956)- [X]

[masterchris] oh wow. I love the way Norton backs you up against a wall and tells you that you have to reboot to complete the installation of these updates..
[masterchris] ..no 'reboot later' button
[masterchris] just 'okay'
[DRUFER] pfft
[masterchris] i wonder, if I hit the x, will it close it - or reboot it.
[Pickle_Weasel] just keep it in the background until you're ready
[DRUFER] get your virus updates
[DRUFER] be happy
*@masterchris is going to try the x.
[Pickle_Weasel] ping timeout
[Pickle_Weasel] $5 on ping timeout
[DRUFER] lmao
[masterchris] Norton wouldn't be that prickey and make the x button the same as 'ok' i would hope.
* masterchris [GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca] has left IRC
* @masterchris (GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
[Kraid] ahaha

#500338 +(1321)- [X]

<robotobon> i am a bastard operator from hell
<robotobon> i used to sneek into the server room and unplug ethernet at random and run
<robotobon> then 5 minutes later i'd get a call at my desk
<robotobon> and i'd fix it really fast and be a hero

#652212 +(681)- [X]

<fholmes> My 8 month daughter was given her first taste of Gentoo today.
<fholmes> Literally as she ate my boot cd.

#653125 +(368)- [X]

<Royall> Hey everyone, did you know it's illegal to destroy coins or bills?
<Royall> Those are the govenment's, they are just lending it to you.
<Monstro> Which means they can take it back at any moment!
<Royall> Yea
<Royall> It's called tax.

#654608 +(752)- [X]

Charmaine----: I'm a 26 year old single mom ;-)
Kolobos Psychi: Holy crap! a black women IMed me! @_@
Charmaine----: How did you know I was black?

#698198 +(1164)- [X]

<Ivyshaur> No, we've been informed that listening to Rammstein is the best way to learn German.
<mrPants> You learn it very quick
<mrPants> The problem is that you only know how to talk about sodomy, canibalism, incest, and death
<granola> there are other things to talk about?
<mrPants> Not in germany

#736510 +(472)- [X]

<Ryuusei> ok this intelligent face tracker thing is freaking me out <<
<Ryuusei> webcam keeps on following my ass

#778807 +(312)- [X]

Ademska: ....okay so is P. Diddy now just Diddy?
honestly x okay: I have no clue
honestly x okay: I can't follow all his names
Ademska: first he was Sean "Puffy" Combs, then Puff Daddy, then P Diddy, now Diddy
Ademska: next he is just going to be a syllable
Ademska: "Duh"

0.0620 21065 quotes approved; 629 quotes pending
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