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#156 +(1155)- [X]

<||CHAOS||> they just jumped into bed when i showed them how i added a speaker to my ti-83

#557 +(354)- [X]

[23:34] [+xvize] c++ is made in borland

#652 +(494)- [X]

<TrUSoLDiA> since when was linux free?

#1413 +(409)- [X]

<TheVirus> i hate when im takin a whizz, and then im almost done, then i get those damned piss shakes. and my piss goes all over the damn place, then my cat comes in and licks it up. good cat =D

#3638 +(298)- [X]

<CoMBo> so for job titles, i should put Wholesale Distributor, Bookkeeping and ...what goes here
<jube> Village Idiot

#5489 +(3227)- [X]

<Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out

#6773 +(174)- [X]

<jabroni77> ANY FEMALES NOT BLOND 120 POUNDS AND MODEL LIKE??? ON THE NET?

#7503 +(262)- [X]

<djfisty> i woke up with samuel l jackson's hairstyle from 'unbreakable'

#9496 +(102)- [X]

<@[DO]-Fury-SLeep> fuck yes 
<@[DO]-Fury-SLeep> my ace of base is done downloading

#10724 +(1618)- [X]

TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m

#14443 +(294)- [X]

<Ria> Type in the search word,
<Ria> apply pressure to button,
<Ria> then read the results.
<Ria> it's a haiku!

#15224 +(300)- [X]

<Reiko> girl who sit on judges lap, get honorable discharge

#15680 +(154)- [X]

<PetrDoubt> Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail filter to deal with
  employee farewell notices.

#15776 +(81)- [X]

<neo-fs> does anyone have aim
<neo-fs> for the life of me i cant change my fucking password
<neo-fs> and its about to fucking piss me the fuck off
<gilma> my aim is good
<kryonik> my aim is good
<kryonik> when im whackin it
<kryonik> into some chicks mouth
<neo-fs> @_@
<neo-fs> your aim is weird

#16371 +(314)- [X]

*** Quits: SkAtEcHiC (Life is the most precious thing u can loose)
<Stuff> the other day I lost 5 bucks, so I'll have to disagree

#18468 +(72)- [X]

<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards <Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover? <FooMashoo> yes

#21124 +(166)- [X]

<Road|\{ill> anybody have that picture of that fat chick sitting on a chair with the little dog underneath it?
<Road|\{ill> i need it

#21817 +(198)- [X]

<gfm> barubary -- ok so you've spent 9 months on this, have nothing
      conclusive to show for it, and even if you did manage to find
      something, which we'd all bet large sums of money isn't going to
      happen, its useless except to a handful of warez kiddiez in #psx?
<gfm> Don't you have anything better to do?
<Barubary> nope
<gfm> oh
<gfm> well, ok then.
<gfm> good luck

#23822 +(398)- [X]

<GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
<GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details of raping an Internet window.

#25031 +(382)- [X]

<Axlar`cleaning> shhhhh
<pizza> i didnt make a sound... you ever hear a pizza make a sound?
<Wey> crunch?
<Goatman> i heard a pizza scream once
<Goatman> but maybe that was the kid i baked in it

#27791 +(451)- [X]

<Raenne>  Damnit, my cookies are only half baked
<Tungee>  Smoke em up a bit more then
<Futility>  Heh heh heh... half baked.
<Raenne>  I stuck em back in the oven :)
<Tungee>  Mazi
<Tungee>  Nazi
<Raenne>  ...
<Raenne>  They are COOKIES, not PEOPLE
<Raenne>  chocolate chip :)
<Tungee>  The nazi's didn't believe the Jews were people either

#28214 +(262)- [X]

<krisi> anyone from ireland?
<Tbodd> no, we're all sober

#29435 +(593)- [X]

<nastsm0m> jakob do me a favor?
<nastsm0m> never get married
<nastsm0m> never breed
<nastsm0m> in fact don't even date
<Greylark> don't ever leave your room
<nastsm0m> yeah that either
<jakob> you just described my life... :(

#40092 +(194)- [X]

<Logic_BomB> scary
<Logic_BomB> my brother just corrected the spelling of analy
<Logic_BomB> and i wonder why he has only male friends at times......
<Logic_BomB> and here i was thinking all the yelling from the vents i hear is just them playing quake3

#42678 +(348)- [X]

<danhon> overheard in the lab:
<danhon> "try doing javac first before you do java"
<Cringer> hahaha
<danhon> "what does that do?"
<danhon> "dunno, but it works"

#51746 +(121)- [X]

<Samantha> What bird was named for what was wrongly thought to be its country of origin?
<Kevyn> Turkey
<Samantha> Kev is da man
<Kevyn> It was either that or the Mexican

#82062 +(121)- [X]

<RSquared> You know, now that I think of it, God did directly influence my desire to draw...I used to doodle on the handouts for church all the time...

#94047 +(618)- [X]

* kenny has joined #php
* kenny quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<tractor> omg peer killed kenny
<therealpro> that bastard

#116902 +(861)- [X]

buservt: I was trying to find a tape downstairs, and I have diarhea, and I had to shit really bad, and I saw a copy of austin powers, and there was a picture of fat bastard on it when he is trying to eat mini me, and I thought (in fat bastards voice) "stay in my butthole" and I laughed so hard I shit all over myself
buservt: another pair of shorts ruined

#121465 +(927)- [X]

<CanyonMan> should it disturb me that the can of campbell's baked beans
            is labeled: "Now with more beans!"  ?
<CanyonMan> It's still a 12 ounce can
<CanyonMan> So they must have REMOVED something to have the
            same weight and volume, but more beans?
<waltman> maybe they're using smaller beans

#140546 +(179)- [X]

<MiKe> r0bz0r: u have to be a special member
<r0bz0r> Ohhh
<r0bz0r> Ok
<r0bz0r> I'm special.  My mum said so

#146993 +(204)- [X]

* Trust is back from "" (Away for 32330secs (08:58:50))
<elDiablo> O_O
* Trust is away "Upgrading Away Script" at Monday September 15th 2003 05:07:44pm GMT

#149134 +(343)- [X]

<xcham> as part of my CS experience, I'm going to debug java to try and meet geek chicks. :P
<xcham> then I'll e-mail Sun Microsystems and tell them "JAVA GOT ME LAID"
<jimmiejaz> java and chicks only go together at starbucks.

#153172 +(1603)- [X]

RogueRed1: you dumb
RogueRed1: your*
Xaimus: NOT MUCH BETTER

#215770 +(682)- [X]

<Indogutsu> I once got an e-mail from the former prince of Niger.
<Chocoboko> What did he want?
<Indogutsu> To know if I was interested in increasing my penis size.

#334679 +(637)- [X]

<^sWift> omfg
<^sWift> this shit is horrible
<^sWift> McDonalds now offering a free music download with the purchase of a Big Mac Extra Value Meal
<^sWift> "an average of 12 songs on a CD, so that's about 7200 calories you will need to consume in order to get an album's worth of music"
<^sWift> ahaha
<^sWift> People are willing to slowly kill themselves for free mp3s

#371438 +(2725)- [X]

* ^haksor^ has joined #pipari
<^haksor^> anyone have a serial for Soldier of Fortune 2???
<tiltti> Y34H-R1GH-TYOU-N3RD-4SS
<^haksor^> thanks

<^haksor^> not enough letters in that???
<tiltti> try adding -H0L3 to the end of it
<^haksor^> ok

#393812 +(1023)- [X]

<tegu> WANNA PLAY IRC TIC TAC TOE?
<tegu> 1 2 3
<slip> K
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7
<tegu> erm
<slip> LOL
<tegu> 1 2 3
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7 8 9
<tegu> you go first
<slip> 1
<tegu> 5
<tegu> UR TURN
<slip> 4
<tegu> 7
<slip> 3
<tegu> 2
<slip> 9
<tegu> 8 gg
<slip> gg

#420391 +(1628)- [X]

<Cyb> heh this guy I knew in high school forgot to write an english paper until like the day before it was due and it was supposed to be a work of fiction a couple pages long
<Cyb> so he wrote down the half-life sp story
<Cyb> and stretched it out as much as he could
<Cyb> and got an A

#455050 +(1419)- [X]

* Hawk boots up Windows
<Beyonder> It's like a million mac users cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced...
<suds|finals> lol
<Beyonder> wait.. make that 5000 mac users, let's be realistic
<Evs> LOL
<SysError> XD

#499474 +(886)- [X]

<chanman`> everyone at school is saving for a car
<chanman`> im saving for a server rack

#519771 +(1510)- [X]

<DrSeuss> My dad was calling me gay and shit.
<DrSeuss> He was like "Youre a stupid queer! You cant even get a girlfriend!"
<DrSeuss> Thats when I said "Shut up dad, you dont know anything about my life!"
<DrSeuss> ...
<DrSeuss> So I grabbed my pom poms and left :(

#526984 +(993)- [X]

Cooler1011: can you explain to me why i need to format and/or partition this disc?
Cooler1011: It does not make sense to me.
mrrc00: imagine a giant room
mrrc00: now, throw millions upon millions of identical things into the room
mrrc00: now these things can be used to make larger things, but only if they have some order to them
mrrc00: a filesystem, which you create by formatting, orders those bits
Cooler1011: yo, get a job
Cooler1011: you're qualified
Cooler1011: that really sounds like it came right out of PC Magazine
mrrc00: oh, I'm not surprised
mrrc00: I was pulling it out my ass, after all

#649536 +(229)- [X]

<NCommander> Its nothing like coming back from a two month vacation, and discovering a surprise in the toliet
<g4lt-U60> TMI
<g4lt-U60> in fact, you've left the TMI thoroughfare and entered the "why the fuck do you have free speech" turnpike
<NCommander> g4lt-U60: I didn't say that surprise was shit.

#698189 +(715)- [X]

[XClaireX]: i was masturbating the other day
[Childzy]: uh.. okay
[XClaireX]: i think i did it wrong
[XClaireX]: ..
[XClaireX]: i'm pregnant now :' (

#754254 +(1499)- [X]

<slifty> Your mom is so fat she sat on a binary tree and turned it into a linked list in constant time!

#804283 +(697)- [X]

<Elsa_chan> dont worry, i have enough porn here to get settled for the night, and my gf and bf are just next room
<SantaBJ> O_o
<mavhc> SantaBJ finds this statistically unlikely
<Elsa_chan> never met a bisexual girl?
<mavhc> but on irc?
<mavhc> if he sees pictures and finds out you're also hot he'll have a divide by zero error

#809282 +(131)- [X]

alienmonkeycult: cause i have the morals of a preteen angsty hitler
aMiLLioNpEopLe: no, not ok
aMiLLioNpEopLe: see
aMiLLioNpEopLe: Hitler banged his niece
alienmonkeycult: was his niece hot?
aMiLLioNpEopLe: NO
aMiLLioNpEopLe: that is what makes it so bad

#875590 +(605)- [X]

<_yoda_> I met two people from irc
<_yoda_> both were loser/weirdos
<_yoda_> the moral of the story is most ppl on irc are losers/weirdos
<amorfati> that's not really a large enough sample to draw any conclusions from
<amorfati> maybe you just got lucky
<amorfati> next person you meet might be a full-fledged psycho :D

#915822 +(517)- [X]

<derp>I'm pretty sure bash moderators just ctrl-f every quote for "penis, sex, masturbate, bash, nigger," and anything that doesn't generate a hit is rejected. They probably have an automated script, in fact.

0.0321 20982 quotes approved; 5099 quotes pending
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