#124 +(441)- [X]
<FuNGiSiDE> is xxdethxx givin out instructions to make that portable pocket pussy again
#408 +(138)- [X]
<EviL_Dr_BounCe> Heh ya moms got one tooth in her mouth and she snaps holes into doughnuts for a living....
#1143 +(736)- [X]
<MadHatter> I did a search for "madhatter efnet" on google and the first thing I see is:
<MadHatter> <MadHatter> I cut my tongue shaving
<MadHatter> that's great
#1826 +(399)- [X]
(Stacey```) justin can you please tell me where you work
(Stacey```) or teach me how to hack and find out
#1834 +(849)- [X]
[09:50] <Xerox> Hey, anyone who knows Japanese, what does "kikurimu" mean?
[09:52] <Squizzle> "I am a preteen with bouncing breasts."
[09:53] <Zonkto> There are probably three or four words for that.
[09:53] <Zonkto> Sort of like the Eskimos having so many words for snow.
#2028 +(119)- [X]
<_Bas> how come cars only have 4/5 gears?
<_Bas> if they make like overdrive on an overdrive
<_Bas> would you get much much gas mileage?
#3358 +(168)- [X]
<tril0gy> i think with my gov't tax return i'm gunna buy a redmav
<spicrx7> you're better off getting a shirt that says "I suck cock."
<ChronosGW> Then you and DMC can be mav-buddies
<spicrx7> same effect as having a red mav
<spicrx7> except the tshirt would be worth more
#3570 +(1514)- [X]
*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT
#3577 +(279)- [X]
<metroid23> you'll get it eventually...
<Corranfox> guitar freaks
<blazemore> it's not like it'd stand for girl friend.. this IS #bemani after all
#4838 +(412)- [X]
<Twingy> almost as annoying as you dal, except your hear longer
<DAL9000> that would be almost insulting if it were grammatically correct
#5275 +(454)- [X]
<zymurgy> #define NULL NULL /* because I can dammit! */
#5588 +(631)- [X]
<lusty_guy> any hot lady wanna role play
<+ladyfingerz> okay i'll be me and you be gone
#6056 +(382)- [X]
<Guyver3> koolaid time
<Guyver3> what today
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi
<Guyver3> strawberry kiwi lemonade
<Guyver3> mountain berry blast
<Guyver3> or blood of the preacher's daughter?
<kingmob> the blood one. definitely.
#6450 +(130)- [X]
<paper_bag> i have looked for so long for a channel that has x-dccs with white poeple music
#8924 +(155)- [X]
<un2> should i just settle for a bmw?
<Gen`Aku> settle settle?!?!?1
<Gen`Aku> don't use the word settle and bmw in the same sentance
<Gen`Aku> unless it's about the dust settling
#10434 +(167)- [X]
<bizzy> great, i get TWO doomed projects
<bizzy> "hey, we canned the guy doing this stuff too. Can you start work
on re-inventing the wheel asap?"
#13254 +(156)- [X]
<Arno> i got kicked off a cray at school for running "pine"
#21126 +(180)- [X]
<Calculus> ...YE GODS I have too many DVDs.
<Calculus> ...how do I have so many DVDs and so little money?
<Zibblsnrt> possibly because you have so many DVDs? *ducks*
#22298 +(741)- [X]
<Mojojojo> there was some poo on my bedroom floor
<Mojojojo> I DONT FUCKING KNOW
#23322 +(144)- [X]
<b22022> everyone that goes to public pools pees in them, its an animal instinct to leave your scent.
#31324 +(374)- [X]
<Dopefish> there is sometimes a denial stage in drinking
<Agg> no there isn't!
#34401 +(155)- [X]
<Macphisto> You guys keep an eye out for Chromatics new oreilly weblog titled, "How the power of perl couldn't stop Macphisto from breaking my legs."
#37187 +(218)- [X]
<richmond> you'll be marching in the band, won't you?
<richmond> some little shit threw a piece of candy at me last year while i was marching
<richmond> smacked me in the side of the head
<richmond> ...i've been hooked on ddr ever since
#37729 +(1053)- [X]
<@NeoPhoenixTE> I see mispelling and faggotry go hand in hnad
<@NeoPhoenixTE> .. fuck
#38787 +(212)- [X]
<+Ava|anch3> i was just banned from a hacker channel
<+Ava|anch3> i told him in german that i am his god
<+Ava|anch3> and he understood it
<+Ava|anch3> then i told him i loved him
<+Ava|anch3> and he loves me
<+Ava|anch3> now hes packeting me :/
#51758 +(334)- [X]
<LADYCHUMY> rebooting everyone
*** LADYCHUMY has quit IRC (Quit: U asked me whom I luv d most , i said my life, u cried n turned away, tears fell coz u left abt 2 say ur my life...)
<Viggo> that sentiment was ruined by AOL slang
#56785 +(571)- [X]
<Jeff> : (
<cabbage> your nose fell off
#58869 +(480)- [X]
<sCoTTiii> is there actually any nice gurls in here, who dont put out, and arnt sluts and are over 16 ? lol, msg me man
<My`Albanian`Ass> opposite to that, msg me :)
#61085 +(247)- [X]
<Oolong> <Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet = convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning, and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know jack about you
<Oolong> he forgot convinced they're japanese
<Oolong> "aya, Britney Spears no kawaii desu nyo! ^O^^^O^O^^O^"
#73043 +(183)- [X]
<JustinW> My girlfriend says Shaft sucks.
<Sigma> JustinW: maybe she just isn't doing it right.
#100470 +(765)- [X]
<Deepthroat> The thing that always got me about the goatse.cx guy is that he's wearing a wedding ring. Does his wife know he can cram a week's worth of camping gear up there? Does she know that her husband's gaping ass has become an internet super sensation? Is it a secret, or is she a part of his anal adventures? Did she clap when he managed to solve a Rubik's cube using only the muscles of his colon?
<StarDonut> Deepthroat: For all you know, she's the one with the camera.
#105474 +(149)- [X]
<fejed> I was soo about to smack some fuck over the head on the train.
<fejed> there was this guy, he said he was a hacker
<fejed> and like
<fejed> quoting him
<fejed> "dude, to get into a computer, you can guess a password, which is like a 5 in 1000000 chance, but what I do is guess the backdoor"
<fejed> he said alot more shit but got off before I could get to him
<fejed> and on the bus
<fejed> there was this retard
<fejed> saying he was a hacker
<fejed> and a nun goes to him "do you use email?"
<fejed> he says "errr, ddd yy yes.. out l ll llook express"
<fejed> then "hey, i have a jj j jjoke"
<fejed> "what does 'www' mean?"
<fejed> "ww w world wide wait!"
<fejed> I'm like "shut the fuck up you stupid fuck" and he started crying.
<fejed> the bus driver pulled the bus over
<fejed> got up and asked me to get off
<fejed> I was all hyped up from the fucks on the train.
#105475 +(579)- [X]
<synik> I just discovered how bad it is to mistake a can of black spray paint for deodorant
#109330 +(360)- [X]
* meek has joined #8-bit.theater
<meek> 3600 penises
* meek has left #8-bit.theater
<CanNinja> That was random.
<BrvFencer> That was meek.
#123569 +(681)- [X]
<Swap_File> hey, how many PSI are blow up dolls inflated to, generally?
#138418 +(37)- [X]
<bucket> The U.S. is strange!
<Ven99> - Iknow
<Ven99> - I was downt in texas and walked into a mexican abortion clinic.
<bucket> why were you in there???
<Ven99> - The sign in the front said "CRIME STOPPERS"
#158342 +(1616)- [X]
<goatasaur> what do you call a black guy flying an airplane?
<blah> i refuse to anwser that
<blah> im probably wrong
<goatasaur> a PILOT, you racist
#167574 +(400)- [X]
<kinkos> can you use a tesla coil as a sexual toy?
<Aegis`> yah, but only once.
<kinkos> once is all i need!
#190199 +(1156)- [X]
<Mooseka> IF GOD IS SO POWERFUL, WHY DID IT TAKE 7 DAYS TO CREATE THE EARTH.
<Mooseka> AND IF IT DID TAKE 7 DAYS, HOW LONG HAS IT TAKEN TO CREATE THE UNIVERSE?
<Mooseka> A PRETTY LONG TIME I'D THINK!
<Cef> to god a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is liek a day
<Cef> thats in the bible
<Mooseka> SO IT TOOK GOD 7000 YEARS TO MAKE THE EARTH?
<Mooseka> HOW THE FUCK IS HE POWERFUL THEN
<Mooseka> I COULD MAKE THE EARTH OUT OF LEGOS IN 7000 YEARS.
#240849 +(14196)- [X]
<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls
#245943 +(251)- [X]
[suxbad] im coming to visit asheville soon
[@teki] oh god
[@teki] maybe we not get arrested this time
#442703 +(725)- [X]
<Shiggy1> Ive just discovered something
<kFraction> the exclaimation key?
#486349 +(1021)- [X]
<Man_Loner> I had the best masturbation ever today too
<Man_Loner> I had the magazine open in front of me, at a really great picture
<Man_Loner> My eyes were rolling back in my head
<Man_Loner> I let out a deep moan
<Man_Loner> And then the man in the shop asked "Are you going to buy that?"
#537896 +(452)- [X]
<&dreams> I want a direct link
<@McRuMMy> everytime i dont feel like helpin you i look back on this pic of your boobs :>
#618396 +(908)- [X]
<zshzn> the other day my programming teacher said "Richaaaard....I have a technical problem"
<zshzn> I looked over to see that his tower was gone. just not there.
<zshzn> how that happened, I don't know
<zshzn> about four of us went and stood around his desk in quiet confusion
<zshzn> one of them was like 'at least you still have a mouse...'
#696389 +(1003)- [X]
< myren> feel like i'm gonna fucking die
< [mbm]> ?
< Wonka> to die fucking would quite sure feel better...
< [mbm]> wouldn't want to be the partner
< [mbm]> I mean, do you finish?
#698198 +(1176)- [X]
<Ivyshaur> No, we've been informed that listening to Rammstein is the best way to learn German.
<mrPants> You learn it very quick
<mrPants> The problem is that you only know how to talk about sodomy, canibalism, incest, and death
<granola> there are other things to talk about?
<mrPants> Not in germany
#743532 +(1874)- [X]
<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear
<raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.
#763963 +(3140)- [X]
<ez76> a mac vs. pc commercial you'll never see: "Whatcha doin, PC?" "I'm playing this new game." "Oh really, which one?" "Any." "Oh." (silence) (fade)
#773924 +(1239)- [X]
<IMlifelike> I flushed a bag of skittles down the toilet yesterday and watched a NASCAR race in 8 seconds flat.