#130 +(480)- [X]
<DigDug> qu:230; <blazemore> cause i don't care about video games anymore <blazemore> video games are a waste of money
<reptile-> What the hell?
<reptile-> someone replaced our blazemore with some Christian bigot.
#290 +(684)- [X]
<Evilspoon> Legalize cigarettes!
<Evilspoon> wait nm
#1088 +(287)- [X]
<homerj> it's hotter then the devil's dick in a pair of heated speedos here
#2052 +(428)- [X]
* Arsentia pets his cable modem
* [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups and string.
* PresWRK cuts Arse's modem
* Arsentia cuts Toby's string
*** Quits: [Toby] (...)
<Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :)
<[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string.
#2091 +(657)- [X]
<DMC[mav2]> human/animal hair can be stuffed inside panty hose and used to suck up oil out from an oil spill
<DMC[mav2]> did you faggots know that
#2589 +(326)- [X]
[Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good looking arse
#2912 +(480)- [X]
<IceWizard> What the HELL is up with these candy companies? Little teeny bars are called 'Fun Size'.. Damn, Whats so fun about a smaller candybar?!?
#3354 +(28)- [X]
<kolby> davek, stop trying to make everyone else become black
#4274 +(206)- [X]
<DeX`> i could eat a 4lb london broil and have room left for a small chinese woman
<Damaceles> after you ate her you'd have to eat again in an hour
#6395 +(45)- [X]
<st0w> I was just a tad intoxicated, man
<botnation> you got a got shot at me with the ole dildo in the mouth trick
<botnation> thank god she washes that shit
#6731 +(252)- [X]
<mynx> hahaha i had a construction worker holler at me today
<Wurzle> he said "YOU FUCKING HOMO GET AWAY FROM MY BUIDING SITE!"
#7609 +(159)- [X]
<xorg> If I say "Eject" and you say "What?", you'll be talking to yourself.
#8359 +(552)- [X]
<Tantalus|RO> No one can resist hot monkey sex
<Tovart> Except hot monkey females with a headache.
#10071 +(246)- [X]
<Zero> I had a totally hot chemistry teacher once. She used to always say "Uh huh." and show her ass. Win XP is like that.
#10226 +(599)- [X]
<True_Blue> You ever buy ribbed condoms?
<True_Blue> I always turn them inside out, I'm selfish
#13954 +(105)- [X]
<TripleAgent> well i didnt really, but ive poked my cats testicles...theyre are big...for a cat
#14683 +(97)- [X]
[:: The_Brain] --> ppp9-2.aquanet.co.il
[:: riksta] --> leet dialup
[:: riksta] --> i feer u
[:: The_Brain] --> its a vhost that makes you *think* its a dialup
[:: The_Brain] --> its actually an oc-48
[:: riksta] --> oc48 in isreal dont make me laugh
[:: riksta] --> u barely got electricity
#15792 +(112)- [X]
<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door)
#25290 +(328)- [X]
(SithAdmin): paper cut on tongue
([TeMpEsT]): how did you manage that sith?
(Rambozo): he tried to eat out a paper model of anna kournikova
(Rambozo): it came as a cutout in a magazine
(Rambozo): "Put tab A into slot B" "I sure will!!"
#36426 +(743)- [X]
<CheapSk8>Windows 98: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition.
#40798 +(185)- [X]
<Phucker> I just tried moving a box on my bed with my mouse
#43477 +(1467)- [X]
<JohnnyZZ> my friend use to put his cat in a pillowcase and throw it down the stairs when we were little. the cat's name was Oscar. i use to to call him Oscar the grouch, because he was grouchy a lot of the time.
<Padijun> Maybe he was grouchy because you fucking threw it down the stairs in a pillowcase, genius.
#43505 +(477)- [X]
<soulsuckingharpy> once i walked in on my mother fucking a clown
<killingtime> did like 20 clowns come out afterwards and do somersaults?
#44115 +(357)- [X]
< passagero> i'm romanian man,i have 18yers old and try to found some one who want to have a relation sheep with me
< passagero> is someone amateur?
< BSDgeek> passagero: the amater sheep are in your back yard, go mount one
#44775 +(152)- [X]
<-- Samah has quit (Quit: public boolean hasALife() return false;)
#46130 +(179)- [X]
<Para> OH BOY!
<Para> i just won a free disney world vacation
<Para> all I need to do is pay $99 per person, and buy the plane tickets
<Para> wow, what a deal
<Para> damn telemarketers
#52004 +(94)- [X]
twinturbo: hmm, why is my name green on the right?
Swinny0: coz it's teelin you that's YOU
barnz: to show which one is you
twinturbo: like i don't know?
Swinny0: some don't!!
#56749 +(346)- [X]
Jersey Seven: 2DAY IS NATIONAL PRESENTS DAY!!~! SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 30 OTHER PPL AND YOU WILL RECIEVE MANY PRESENTS FOR XMAS AND UR TRUE LOVE WILL FINALLY START TO LIKE U!!!~
U ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES SO U BETTER HURY!!!~
Chant320: Hey. Tomorrow is national shut the fuck up with the stupid chain letters day. It never hurts to get a head start.
#63087 +(870)- [X]
<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n films to wank over
<riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.
#72873 +(357)- [X]
<Ludious> I think it's delightfully ironic that the aisle across from the valentines stuff at Walmart features family size bottles of vaseline.
#74702 +(208)- [X]
<Black_Raven[CoS]> how would blasting cookies with fudge and marshmellows prove the xistance of elves?
#99350 +(513)- [X]
<Beelzebub> Necrophilia isn't rape, it's recycling
#126082 +(200)- [X]
RaceTM: yeah its really weird
it seems like every time i re-install, something goes wrong
RaceTM: i have yet to get a flawless ghost image
RaceTM: its pissing me off
RaceTM: and im sure its probably one dumb program i always install that messes things up
Veritech Ferret: hehe
Veritech Ferret: Windows
#138210 +(226)- [X]
A little overexcited about Silent Hill:
<Aremis> Who can take a fire sireeennnnn.... and make a symbol of fear and dread? Who can take a sweet town and fill it with the undead? Konami cannnnn... The Konami Corp. cannnnnn.....
<Aremis> The Konami Corp. can take a simple hospital and make it a hell of rust and bloooooddddddd......
<Aremis> Who can take a happy dayyyyyy.... and shove it full of fog and snow? Who can make monsters that die with one blow? Konami cannnnnn.... the Konami corp. cannnnnn....
<Aremis> The Konami Corp. can because people are addicted to fear and they have stockholders in North koreaaaaa.....
#147497 +(402)- [X]
<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'
#161963 +(236)- [X]
Cynicisity: My best friend said that going to Purdue is like having unprotected sex; it feels great to get in, but you're pissed that you came.
#165227 +(258)- [X]
<+perl> nerve trauma to the arm is nice
<+sm4k[X-D]> sounds like it
<+perl> im just happy i can still use my hand
<+[TC]Quicksilver> Yeah, I bet your penis is too
#171043 +(577)- [X]
<Calisa> "After his arrest in 1990 police found photographs that Black had taken of himself: one showed him with a wine-bottle up his anus, another with a telephone-handset, yet another with a table leg."
<FifthColumn> Sadly the inspectors drank from the wine bottle, talked on the telephone, and beat a minority with the table leg before they found the photographs.
#187673 +(120)- [X]
<Rhesirus|Work> yah, i could see how using a code would activate some buggy code that would cause it to malfunction, i don't see any way it could physically damage the media
<Tamutnefret> The special "read CD as if vinyl" code
#203571 +(520)- [X]
FFVI: I once told a friend to shoot me if I ever passed 3000 posts on AT. Total Posts Made - 8000...wow :/
arctic pirate: you once had a friend?
FFVI: One. But then his parents got a restraining order when I showed up for his kindergarten graduation.
#215032 +(124)- [X]
<[CNI]Smy> k now that i just relized that those were like $200 headphones
<[CNI]Smy> i am gona go out and buy some glue
<[CNI]Smy> and fix em
<[CNI]Goose> get crazy glue, it can even glue your arm back on, U can use it for emergency surgery in the field....
<[CNI]Smy> no i cant
<[CNI]Smy> cuz then i will have the urge to cut my dogs legs off and try to glue them back on.
#225866 +(234)- [X]
* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters" part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar
#345535 +(467)- [X]
[+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds....
[detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love big dicks :(
[+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh?
[detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :(
#348129 +(2275)- [X]
(sadik): nothing gayer than 2guys and a chick
([sic]): well there's two guys and no chick
([sic]): that's pretty gay
#352051 +(923)- [X]
<LS_Nick> there appears to be arse-cheek marks on my scanner...
<LS_Nick> tastes like my sister =
#367567 +(484)- [X]
<x`fearless> whoever's turn it is says like "never have I ever done this..." and if you've done it u gotta drink
<x`fearless> omg some girl was like never have I ever had anal sex and 3 girls at the table drank I'm like OMGOMGOMG
#631180 +(349)- [X]
EvILpYRoMaNiA: my dad tried to sit on my lap: he tackled me off my chair.
EvILpYRoMaNiA: that was the worst typo ever.
#673540 +(220)- [X]
<Sohcahtoa> When I first saw that image, I said "This is so obviously photoshopped. NOBODY has a nutsack that hangs THAT low."
<Yosh|Surf> how did my girlfriends picture get back into discussion?
#677113 +(1179)- [X]
<scalar> ok, UPS guy came, now I can shower :P
<Keneto> famous phrases to remember not to take out of context?
#945388 +(234)- [X]
<david> i carry a 12 inch dildo, condom, thumb tack, 10 grapes, and a time magazine from 1992
<david> things do get wild
<HorseZilla> you need a battery
<HorseZilla> candle wax
<HorseZilla> chains and a cinder block
<HorseZilla> oh and that speed glide lube that brad used to sell
<david> calm down macgyver
<david> im getting freaky, not escaping a haitian prison
<HorseZilla> you two are in vegas
<HorseZilla> and youre still fucking around here
<HorseZilla> what the fuck is wrong with you two?