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#526 +(883)- [X]

<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes

#829 +(59)- [X]

<AnarKii> does Cel300 is fast?
<AnarKii> nyway
<AnarKii> where I could found NAME + romz ?
<AnarKii> pleazzzzzzzzzzzz

#1525 +(226)- [X]

(JazzSax) tim likes 8 year old girls
(JazzSax) he looks sooooo big in their hands.
(JazzSax) they like picture books
(tiko) rhonda: Think of me more as a childhood educator.
(dev-) um, I don't think sex ed lessons aren't supposed to be in the back of a white van

#3362 +(458)- [X]

<Dllem> "another expressed his desire to try "onal sex." We're not sure what that is, but it sounds kinky."

#6918 +(250)- [X]

<aer> I don't like pamela anderson type breasts
<xf> Their remote controls are annoying and not well documented.

#7116 +(52)- [X]

* *@michael decides that given two evils, x and y, where x=cherry jolly ranchers and y=apple jolly ranchers, y<x

#7292 +(224)- [X]

<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away :)

#7392 +(830)- [X]

<Dane> i picked ryk up one night when he was completely trashed
<Dane> and he was looking like spewing
<Dane> so i reminded him of my car spew rule
<Tippytoes> which is?
<Dane> "if you hurl you pay me $150 and you have to clean it up"
<KKKBitch> heh
<Dane> and he looked in his pocket
<Dane> and goes
<Dane> "I can cover that"
<Dane> "lets go get curry"

#8875 +(303)- [X]

<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?

#8962 +(317)- [X]

* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff

#10012 +(243)- [X]

<Cosmic_Bard> King-Bob: You're about as articulate as Johnny cochrane, born an epilleptic claustrophic retard, in a small room with a strobe light.

#11179 +(391)- [X]

<drastic> anyone know of a program that would display free hd space for multiple drives on the desktop or something?
<ninth> drastic: you could write down how much space is free on a piece of paper.. then scan it.. and set it as your wallpaper

#12891 +(172)- [X]

<JallakWriting> "mammario-fetishistic" is a memorably stupid sounding phrase. How about "tit-happy"?

#16234 +(19)- [X]

<@aba> plz call me alexander the great
<@aba> =[
<@ditz> hahahah
<@ditz> alexander the great almost conquered the world ;D
<@aba> yes
<@aba> i am going to conquer the internet
<@aba> and be called alexander the greatfux

#16796 +(33)- [X]

<Vash> wee-hee... I got two mroe week sof holidays = D
<^bat-sai> soldier of fortune holidays?
<Vash> eh?
<Samin> there the best kind

#20139 +(184)- [X]

* @Moot You probably don't want to know: mastur^H^H^H^H^H^Hwalking the dog

#20744 +(871)- [X]

(Duo): HOW HARD DO I HAVE TO PULL THIS STUPID JUMPER
(Rai): hm
*** Duo has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
(Rai): That was too hard.

#21830 +(316)- [X]

<MrSaturn> <Sergo_k> so you say that you r a good player in CS
<MrSaturn> <MrSaturn> Yes.
<MrSaturn> <MrSaturn> I am l33t beyond all mortal comprehension.
<Sergo_k> no way man
<MrSaturn> Yes.
<Sergo_k> i think you talk bvetter than pley
<Sergo_k> i think you talk bvetter than play
<MrSaturn> I certainly hope you play better than you talk

#22546 +(362)- [X]

<cams> red: yea, well i'll take your land
<cams> then lie to you
<cams> and give you deseases
<reddiwhipper> that was the native americans
<cams> no, actually, im doing my impression of a woman

#39442 +(299)- [X]

<@Master_Logan> few have achieved my level of enlightenment
<kiwiman> ..
<kiwiman> Jesus
<kiwiman> I so want to make fun of you
<@Master_Logan> If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
<kiwiman> Without them, we wouldn't have someone to tell us how enlightened he is
<@Master_Logan> youre really askin for it
<kiwiman> No
<kiwiman> If i was i'd be saying "Please kick me monkey"

#39448 +(227)- [X]

<Measure> hey cao how can I win back raltash's love?
<Measure> I think I pissed her off
<Caoilin> uhm
<Caoilin> stop saying she has a huge hairy clit for one
<Measure> yeah...
<Measure> good idea

#44305 +(489)- [X]

* Joins: Niro77
<Niro77> hi
<Niro77> anyone here?
<Niro77> ...
* Niro77 yawns
<Niro77> hellloooooo
<Niro77> Am I talking to myself?
<Niro77> you know.. the C in IRC means "chat"
<@quake> and the IR means "shut the fuck up, we're idling in this ".

#46472 +(179)- [X]

<magusXXX> I think it's funny that roxio wants to buy napster.
<magusXXX> "You steal it, we'll burn it!"

#53523 +(227)- [X]

<Volt9000> I had wood today
<Volt9000> I'm proud
<AL9000> Me too
<SROL> I did, too
<SROL> And I believe we all know what happened soon after
<AL9000> Volt's pet goat hid behind the couch

#58505 +(433)- [X]

<StillAway> omg i got spam saying 'someone at work likes you'. they really dont target this shit well do they, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB

#62781 +(34)- [X]

*** malapropy is now known as cd-german
<_mrT> ls pr0n
<Craig> lol

#75246 +(975)- [X]

<cuebol> I've yet to see the bald guy on Mr. Clean products come alive and help me with the chores.
<synec> inhale the fumes more deeply

#75466 +(134)- [X]

Geeno: I can put a man into a coma with a potato chip
Geeno: not really, but i told my gym teacher that when I was in 2nd grade or something

#76715 +(30)- [X]

<@Lufia> i'm bored so i'm fucking my server up
<@RATT> lol
<@RATT> Use a condom

#81730 +(404)- [X]

<mithrandi> In addition, U.S. citizens attempting to speak a foreign language are
<mithrandi> urged to curb their Americanisms.
<mithrandi> For example:
<mithrandi> Correct  : Est-ce que vous l'avez aux autres couleurs?
<mithrandi> Incorrect: Est-ce que vous, like, l'avez aux, like, autres couleurs?
<mithrandi> ROFL!
<Antish> is that supposed to be arabic

#83449 +(98)- [X]

<Samah> hmm the one bad thing about seeing cute chicks - it gets me depressed.... T_T
<@toe2toe> /j #suicide

#121764 +(725)- [X]

<Desiree> my room is clean!
<Junpei> mine... is far from clean
<Junpei> but i have a chai smoothie
<Junpei> so everything is oooooooooooook
<Desiree> neet
<p00p> chai smoothie?
<Junpei> yup
<p00p> WTF?
<p00p> why do you crackers steal everything from us?
<p00p> first it's our music
<p00p> now it's our food
<Junpei> i didnt steal anything from a pile of poop, thanks
<p00p> yes, but you stole it from my peoples
<p00p> =P
<p00p> and WTF is up with this "Punjabi MC - Beware of the Boys"???
<p00p> just because they couldn't pronounce that shit they had to translate it
<Junpei> and who exactly are you people
<p00p> it didn't even have Punjabi MC in it, it was just a remix by that tosser Jay Z
<Junpei> i didnt know poop orginated from india
<p00p> Indians
<p00p> did I ever say that?
<Junpei> well, you are poop
<p00p> your tiptoeing around everything else i said
p00p (asdfsdaf@firc-1691C69E.ipt.aol.com) is now known as Siddartha
<Junpei> and besides the chai i get wasnt stolen from anyone, its actually made in india and imported here
<Junpei> so how am i stealing
<Siddartha> your stealing a part of my culture
<Siddartha> and being a poser
<Siddartha> by trying to be "hip" and "ethnic"
<Junpei> im not trying to be hip or ethnic
<Junpei> i just fucking like chai
<Junpei> get off my nuts
<Junpei> and stop trying to pull the oppressed kid from another country act, get over it
<Junpei> thats like me saying YOU USE AMERICA ONLINE YOU CULTURE STEALING BASTARD

#127120 +(1136)- [X]

<kroike> oh sweet jesus
<AcidReign> threatened me and said I wasn't sharing enough
<kroike> semen feels horrible in open wounds
<@Knights> ...
<@|00Kevin|> wtf
<AcidReign> ...
<@|00Kevin|> that deserves more than a "..." people

#137351 +(591)- [X]

<jeebas> seems like i have quite a few kids on ebay
<jeebas> err bids

#162151 +(407)- [X]

<brainchasm> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and hang a little curtain

#166434 +(487)- [X]

<TheShadowHunter> Im still afraid to ask if I did anything unusual while on morphine. I dont remember it really affecting me at all but for all I know I couldve been running up and down the halls naked and pushing old people out of wheelchairs.
<TheShadowHunter> Thats something I prefer to do while entirely coherent.

#167145 +(245)- [X]

<@maroo> I jumped off a bridge into a river once... they asked me what I was doing... I told them I was LARPing a fish.

#192888 +(1445)- [X]

<Jim_McNeat> Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just trust me on that one" mode?

#194401 +(385)- [X]

<@HollowmaN> The goverment was sterilizing retarded people for a few decades but stopped in the 70's. luckily i was born in the 80's

#217251 +(500)- [X]

<Binkster> since I started using OpenBSD... I went from six to eight inches!
<BSDuser> stop lying and your nose will get back to normal

#304889 +(641)- [X]

* SamGamgee has joined #O-Gaming
<RavenBUSY> mister gamgee!
<SamGamgee> mister busy
<RavenBUSY> SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
<JDski> thats tattooed on my ex's ass

#395602 +(287)- [X]

<Kingsford> who is Psytrox?
<Turori> rejis's date
<Kingsford> an IRC date?
<Cockbill_Street> right
<Kingsford> you guys should go to #movies
<Kingsford> and then, out to #dinner
<Kingsford> and later, #backseatofthecar
<Rejistania> Are you implying that I should get a life?
<Cockbill_Street> you've found that out on your own. ;)

#457037 +(6624)- [X]

<Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago
<Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
<Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms
<Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep
<Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting
<Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly
<Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer
<Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
<Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
<Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
<Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use
<Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little ducks
<Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one
<Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick
<Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up
<Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair
<Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs
<Goatroper> speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> spinning in his office chair
<Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens
<Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand
<kr0nus> omg
<Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove
<Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"
<Goatroper> I said "Yep."
<Goatroper> held up the speculums.
<Goatroper> said, "I got bored."
<Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"
<Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
<Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up
<Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."
<Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed
<Goatroper> then the other day i go in again rofl and he just hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves
<Goatroper> i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck with him but I was afraid he'd give me some

#696554 +(1813)- [X]

<BiG_D> Every girl who has ever been attracted to me is a vegetarian!
<BiG_D> Try to explain that!
<WolfLord> you have no meat
<WolfLord> hehe
<BiG_D> hmmm
<BiG_D> fuck
<BiG_D> I did not see that coming
<BiG_D> Last time I tell that story!

#733088 +(2143)- [X]

<chilomen> *Now Playing: bathtub_lesbians.avi*
<zeddevil2> rofl dude i didnt need to know that
<chilomen> oh shit
<chilomen> lol :S ill change it
<chilomen> *Now Playing: nsync_tearin_up_my_heart.mp3*
<zeddevil2> ...
<zeddevil2> go back to the lesbians

#741748 +(854)- [X]

<fatcat> Someone wrote <shit> on the outside of a stall door in the bathroom, and </shit> on the inside.

#789709 +(1649)- [X]

<xchlathx> "Dumbledore returns from the dead and declares it to be hammertime, Harry proceeds to break it down, Voldemort is unable to touch this."

#790689 +(1317)- [X]

< evoxy> can anyone recommend a good php tutorial?
< Dynom> evoxy: goodphptutorials.com
< evoxy> lol i thought it was a bogus url
< Dynom> it works?
< Dynom> :-| wtf

#910098 +(735)- [X]

<Pahricida> and I never want to get rickrolled again by my alarm clock
<Linds-inClass> ROFL
<Linds-inClass> radio clock?
<Pahricida> yeah
<Linds-inClass> hahaha
<Pahricida> it woke me up with a rickroll
<Linds-inClass> that is pure awesome
<Linds-inClass> XD
<Pahricida> :S
<Pahricida> not if it happens to you
<Pahricida> you're like
<Pahricida> ztZZzzZzz
<Pahricida> "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOOOOOOOOOWN!"
<Pahricida> "AH SHUT THE FUCK UP"

#945148 +(26)- [X]

gstridg: When I die, you are allowed to make all sorts fun about it, because I will be dead and I will not mind, so long as you do it in a manner that does not upset my surviving family.
gstridg: That said.
gstridg: Universal Studios presents: AMY WINEHOUSE AND MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

0.0544 21047 quotes approved; 212 quotes pending
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