#1931 +(461)- [X]
<luciddrms> boy irc is like a common link to everything fucked up on the internet
#2235 +(29)- [X]
<spid0r> my friend had #taliban for awhile...fuckin ragheads even get owned on efnet
#2539 +(314)- [X]
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#3319 +(291)- [X]
<Blaz_> zwhats the old bitches name on spin city
<Blaz_> heather locklear
<Blaz_> shes gota be 40 something
<WS666> Heather is something like 40 but I'd drag my balls across a mile of broken glass to do her
#4319 +(280)- [X]
<orion> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again
#5263 +(359)- [X]
<DCBastard> wow - either fairlight and deviance have absolutely pathetic suppliers or morrowind has some good copy protection
<DCBastard> i think it's absolutely disgusting that you can BUY a game before downloading it
#6208 +(505)- [X]
<skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill everyone
<pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
<pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way!
#7118 +(36)- [X]
<HowLeTT> if my back seat smells like pussy tomorrow, im going to be furious
#7845 +(431)- [X]
.... I love the way Microsoft follows standards. In much the same manner
that fish follow migrating caribou.
-- Paul Tomblin, alt.sysadmin.recovery
#9474 +(244)- [X]
<Undine> So he dumped her, "Nothing about sex should remind you of a cauliflower"
#10071 +(239)- [X]
<Zero> I had a totally hot chemistry teacher once. She used to always say "Uh huh." and show her ass. Win XP is like that.
#13282 +(264)- [X]
<Ferney> WTF??? benchmarks for a fuggin VIBRATOR?
#13726 +(140)- [X]
<Sumez> I must admit having two functional penises must have it advantages
<Darth-Phenom> You could fuck a woman and piss at the same time?
<Yolkhead> Would you really want to pee while having sex?
<Sumez> You miss to see the opportunities
#14214 +(818)- [X]
<Ryan> my mom was killed by mobile phones
<mal> she has only herself to blame
<Ryan> no really, she was using it in a storm
<mal> then what?
<Ryan> mobile phone truck ran her over
#14336 +(239)- [X]
[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies
#17861 +(21)- [X]
<ouija666> this gay guy was bitching about only being with guys with small dicks
<ouija666> which is pointless if you have a gaping queer anus
<ouija666> so i say like
<ouija666> he needs a tattoo on his ass that reads 'you must be this tall (arrow) to ride this ride'
#24333 +(174)- [X]
<Maven`> I'm god in 8 channels of the 8 i'm in. I own 228 sluts.
Preach> you're a fucking dork who needs to get laid
<Preach> nuff said
#24598 +(21)- [X]
<kojimyuu> "IT MAKES THE PEOPLE WANT TO FORNICATE."
#25502 +(325)- [X]
<dinarchvs> my friend sobel just had a great idea
<dinarchvs> fuck this 3d-accelerating game video hardware
<dinarchvs> we need smut-specific hardware
<dinarchvs> like an on the fly compression/decompression chip that specializes in compressing fleshtones in images to save bandwidth
<dalias> dude, go get some
<dinarchvs> or hardware-based algorithms to help render smut faster
<dinarchvs> like a nipple algorithm to accelerate nipple drawing
<dalias> you're developing a pr0n obsession
<dinarchvs> a special dick rendering chip
<dinarchvs> that can draw over 2000 dicks/second
<auspex_> there is pr0n specific hardware... gigabit ethernet
#33326 +(24)- [X]
<aggiN> kurupt.. u have a very limited taste in music
<Santana> kurupted has limited pube growth too!
<Santana> its like a nyc rain forest
#34656 +(181)- [X]
<+Psyko> I'm gonna go hump the couch
<+Yamatto> dude, your couch puts out?
<+Psyko> wall too
<+Yamatto> i want your house
<+Yamatto> unless you're like swapping wall for "mom"
<+Andaru> and couch for "little brother"
#40095 +(1095)- [X]
<Alwyn Aldarion> X are you deaf or what ?
<MegamanX2K> Yes. Yes, I am deaf. This makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to read anything written on screen, because I have trained a parrot to read whatever is on my screen so I can browse the web while at the same time spying on the cute girl next door while she's changing AND her equally cute sister who is also changing AT THE SAME TIME. So, yes, I was unable to hear your enlightening post. I apologize.
#45241 +(277)- [X]
<crikket> spyware is stuff that looks at where you go on the net and tells some market research group
<strangefour> hmm, market research now know I go to japanese websites that have scantily clad drawings of green haired women with glasses
<crikket> next year that's what'll be advertizing pepsi
<crikket> thanks alot s4
#47132 +(414)- [X]
<mikebeauc> man, there's a hot chick in the Java Lab..
<flawed> mikebeauc: go ask her "miss, are you lost?"
#52731 +(148)- [X]
(Munkee): ban MunkeeFucker
*** eek sets mode: +b *!*munkee@???.blueyonder.co.uk
*** yay sets mode: +b *!*ArseSucke@???.???.???.???
*** Munkee was kicked by eek (oof - don't use bad words)
*** MunkeeFucker was kicked by yay (oof)
#57804 +(811)- [X]
<OmkAR`> they should have a tv show, where ppl go from cable back to dialup for like a month
<OmkAR`> and they film it
<OmkAR`> like survival
#61351 +(324)- [X]
* @PsykoDave eats his King Sized Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodle
<@GregTG> Wow dave.
<@GregTG> That's a long way to go for a synonym of "cock"
#62407 +(467)- [X]
<kuribo> cacti: got any porn haiku?
<CactusJac> Spray your load onto my face
<MikeSweetser> It's what's for dinner.
#62507 +(284)- [X]
<PSX> my ex told me she was late one time.. i kept telling her "yea, its going to be ok babe" but in my head i was saying "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCCCCCK FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK!@#%"
<robs> psx: been there done that
<`Nemesis> they call "I'm pregnant, call me!" and then you fedex them a coathanger with a note that says "You know what to do.". They generally don't call back after that
#65919 +(257)- [X]
Tool2004: she said i seem "cuddly"
Espn0013: like a walrus
#83616 +(5)- [X]
<%quickman> i cant remember these chinese names for my history test
<%quickman> they were probably just named by their parents throwing a bunch of pots and pans down the stairs
#98324 +(791)- [X]
<@voh> ever seen the bristol flag in my room?
<@voh> it's about 80 cm wide and 300cm long
<@voh> big-ass flag :)
< SirGoblin> sounds like my penis
<@voh> the flag refuses to stand up straight as well
#105591 +(399)- [X]
<Kitsa> there used to be one doc who would put apple juice in a urine collection cup
<Kitsa> and walk into the patient room
<Kitsa> take a big swig
<Kitsa> and say "tastes fine to me"
<Kitsa> I always wanted to secretly switch it out with real urine
<Kitsa> the spit-take on that one would be great
#112807 +(598)- [X]
<Costilled> "I run Linux." T-shirts
<Costilled> availible in sizes L to XXXXL
#205797 +(620)- [X]
<Trigger> anyone here know what kind of virus would create about 100 directories that don't exist?
<Adam9> or a corrupted filesystem
<Rakoth> that's what I said ;)
#213947 +(1036)- [X]
<Burn132> How do I make it so that I can hear you guys talk and not just see the captions???
#238133 +(421)- [X]
<Gandalf> at least you arent typical of most yanks here who hear the word africa and automatically think we drive elephants to work
<Dinxy> no you drive black people to work
#278790 +(335)- [X]
<kraus> omg, dude i love you in a way that is illegal in most countries.
<pyro> in school i want you to keep atleast a one meter distance away from me. :|
#310706 +(505)- [X]
<SoberIRL> my gf is getting her tongue pierced soon :D
<Drewtetz> you can finally find out what it'll be like to have a rod and two balls in your mouth!
#372928 +(918)- [X]
Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that I would never want her to have
Yesterday Dying : like a penis
Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would be at the top of the list
#383093 +(444)- [X]
<Sebastian> My computer is more than a little confused
<Sebastian> My DVD player thinks it's a zip drive . . .
#393641 +(409)- [X]
isotec: so my dad decides to be nice and put a chocolate on top of my LCD monitor (its one of thoes ones with booze in it
isotec: so i come by l8r and im like cool
isotec: i pick it up as as i do so it starts to drip on the top of the monitor and some booze leaks out
isotec: im thinking well that was totaly smart dad now i have whisky or somthing and chocolate oozing around up there
isotec: but im like hey cant let that chocolate go to waste
isotec: i start to lick up the tasty mess and when im in mid lick my dad walks in and is like "Jesus son, i know you many like your computer but this is just rediculous!"
#397151 +(188)- [X]
<psychonate> A Mac is like a prostitute.
<psychonate> Sure they look good, but your wallet will feel a lot lighter after getting one.
#562582 +(1042)- [X]
<tumnus> i just set my clock the easiest way ever
<tumnus> i waited until it was midnight then i plugged it in and left it
#575848 +(449)- [X]
<myra> another accident?
<myra> what this time
<BWLaptop> 3rd grader running to catch the bus got hit by it
<BWLaptop> died at the scene
<karrde> guess he caught it...
#638999 +(648)- [X]
<HeatZync> what is the use of the calendar?
<RogueRunner> it's like DNS for days
#667868 +(846)- [X]
<demonotaku_> hate when you fall asleep and your cat jumps on your keyboard
<Facemaker> Yeah, they always talk about you on irc behind your back
#696364 +(706)- [X]
[Maverick] just imagine if it was a 10 dollar fee to get into heaven
[Maverick] and you died
[Maverick] but left your wallet in your car
[Maverick] so you couldn't pay the 10 dollar admin. fee
[BallsDeep] i would mug the next guy
#765549 +(4)- [X]
<%crazy_clown> php is like teh pron
<Keef> quick, dirty and cheap?
<%crazy_clown> and i fap over it
#768322 +(1088)- [X]
<gangstagurl> u wanna fuck with me then lets take it to the streets u little hore u woludnt last two seconds
<comfort> nor would you, in a library