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#349 +(1314)- [X]

<ping> oh, im ready for the upcoming school year
<End[gone]> i dont think it will be any different
<zxaxox> thats why you have to take a shotgun and MAKE it different.

#1772 +(166)- [X]

<blazemore> i like MSIE Champion Edition

#2208 +(259)- [X]

<Rico> I suppose. I wouldn't mind being that guy that makes it with all the Scouts.
<DigiGnome> Except you'd be ridiculously tired at the end of it, and if you don't please them you get CRESCENT BEEEEEAM'ed.
<Rico> Yeah, but what a way to go...
<Kayma> Uh oh, attacked with pink sugar hearts, blarg im dead.
<DigiGnome> You know exactly where they'd hang the wreath, too.

#2998 +(676)- [X]

<dboo> shit...i can hear the cat masturbating again

#5431 +(576)- [X]

<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count

#6842 +(70)- [X]

<{Work}Logan> It feels like quitting time, and one should trust one's feelings.

#6948 +(33)- [X]

<glasnost> 1040 ez e
<glasnost> peace to all my bruvas at the iRS

#7162 +(131)- [X]

<@Latino-Heat> when i was in school, during free periods i'd sit in the library cos i couldnt go home and i'd look up stds in encyclopedias
<@Latino-Heat> cos i had rashes everywhere

#7227 +(411)- [X]

<Prophet_Tenebrae> i am to porn what pot noodle is to snacks.
<Wesley> an insult?

#8565 +(1050)- [X]

<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass

#11624 +(90)- [X]

Solo Herron: they have some pistols with big calibers
Solo Herron: but if you add barrel length and large caliber then you have a bad ass pistol that breaks your wrist
Solo Herron: You would have to do lots of pre-emptive masturbation to get your wrist in shape!

#12080 +(630)- [X]

<@charlie_x> i have a command line program on my pc called dont.com
<@charlie_x> if you type dont format c:\
<@charlie_x> it says
<@charlie_x> "ok i wont"

#12865 +(256)- [X]

Jallak went to Hebrew school at this one temple for years...there was no rabbi, the head of the temple was the Cantor. He had long hair and he sang a lot. He would always give us long sermons about judiasm and goodness and all that, getting very very very passionate, his voice rising, tears nearly coming to his eyes as he spoke of God aa a "Great cosmic teddy bear"...
<Jallak> It's been years since I went to Hebrew school...today I found out the Cantor had been arrested...for running a prostitution ring

#13916 +(325)- [X]

*** tate|work is now known as tate
<chaoticset_Perling> Hey tate
<tate> yo, chaotic
<tate> I just did two of the dumbest things possible
<chaoticset_Perling> ...first?
<tate> the first was staying up all night as part of a plan to attempt to reset my internal clock
<chaoticset_Perling> ...and the second?
<tate> the second was laying down in bed two hours before work thinking I could catch just one hour of sleep
<chaoticset_Perling> LOL!

#15358 +(23)- [X]

<dR i l l 6 2> if it wasn't for the patience developed from windows,

#16108 +(616)- [X]

<goferdude> What's "hockey"?
<Funk> It's like boxing, except it's on ice and there are teams

#17162 +(107)- [X]

<\`es> fuck i just downloaded 5 crazytown mp3's. What the fuck is happening with me

#40125 +(264)- [X]

<KingV> whats the time difference between utah and arizona right now?
<Fico> 100 years of bad moral judgement

#47902 +(330)- [X]

<EvilJoven> the canadian navy has 2 submarines, the biggest mall in canada has 3
<EvilJoven> something is wrong with this country

#68522 +(289)- [X]

Number 3 Rugger: bitch fuck 1080
onkeybutt87: is that a skateboard trick?

#68627 +(31)- [X]

<Way> its all the same to you tho
<Way> u just stick it in his ass anyways ..
<Way> boy or girl
<Hiro> true
<Hiro> but with girls you can go front then flip over and pretend its a boy
<Hiro> double the fun
<Hiro> and boys squirm too much
<Hiro> Imean I want a bit of a fight but not while IM concentrating

#75319 +(390)- [X]

<Destruya> I joined the "Virtual March on Washington" even though I live 30 minutes driving time away from the White House.
<Destruya> I think I've reached the nirvana of laziness.
<Destruya> And probably sent my name to a CIA central database codenamed "FuckWithThesePeopleUntilTheyDie".
<Destruya> Of course, I'm not worried, since any server with a name that long has to be running NT of some form.
<Destruya> Which means they better write that shit down before it crashes.

#78858 +(265)- [X]

<Kaneda> im downloading furniture for my sims, they have more of life then I do.

#103202 +(417)- [X]

<OwnerDemon> It kind of sucks now that there are so many computer jokes and innuendos on bash.org that people like me can't understand them.
<TheOne> 7|-|47z (|_|z j0012 4 f|_||<1n9 DUMB4SS!
<OwnerDemon> Exactly.

#104799 +(270)- [X]

<xen0cide> Whats black and blue and hates sex?
<Cloud9> Jesus, what?
<xen0cide> Its not Jesus, its the 7 year old in my trunk.
<Cloud9> You sick fuck.

#104878 +(214)- [X]

* darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are just Bill Hicks quotes
<darkLem> cheating bastards.

#105320 +(273)- [X]

[Participle] Ever since I saw bukkake, I can't eat cinnamon rolls anymore...
[Participle] Thanks a lot, Japan!

#105939 +(167)- [X]

<MikeSweetser> I've seen DAP pics before.
<MikeSweetser> And DAFP pics as well.
<JamesFnX> Mike: DAFP?
<MikeSweetser> Double Anal Fist Penetration.
<P|MP> "find your keys yet?" :)

#107256 +(375)- [X]

Substitue Teacher> Alright class. Here's the next question. Spain was divided into what? Hint, Canada has these.
Dane> Umm... Canadians!
Kyle> ... Provinces you idiot...

#109111 +(508)- [X]

<Thel> "You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for your cooperation."
* SephirothTheOneWingedAngel (~uole@ Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* SporkBad (~LanceBad@ Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Sir_Spankspeople (PsychoSam_@ Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Ace|werk (~Cartoonis@ Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)

#113319 +(636)- [X]

<Ratzilla> I rest my cake.

#120100 +(405)- [X]

<MrWhippy> The term 'Bisexual' is the politicly correct way to say you fuck anything

#128511 +(219)- [X]

<Lethalmartini> i always worry im too pale but then i think of british people and i cheer up
<Pandilex> I don't understand the facination with lying under the sun burning yourself
<Lethalmartini> neither do i, but anything to increase the odds of having sex
<Pandilex> spray-on-tan
<Pandilex> failing that, money and power

#138004 +(2079)- [X]

<krulos> my bud had sex with his girl last night 4 times and in the morning she said,"He was the best she ever had."
<krulos> i told him i had sex with my girl 6 time last night and this morning she said,"I was God!" lol. how many times did u get it on last night?
<KavorkianKilled> once
<krulos>hahaha, did she say anything to you this morning?
<KavorkianKilled> yeah, don't stop.

#138019 +(164)- [X]

(@aoi|triviabot) 9.  What is a group of gorillas?
(@rifleman) rap group
(@ThunderBall) basketball team

#168917 +(513)- [X]

Kirby: So like this one time I was fucking this dude in the ass and then I threw up on his back.
ZAn3Yt: I didn't now you were gay Kirby...
katchup: He isn't, that was a shakespeare quote.

#245376 +(775)- [X]

<paroneayea> Oh man!  Oh man!  Oh man!
<paroneayea> I have to tell you people the funniest thing ever.
<paroneayea> This friend of mine, a theater major, walks into my room.  "Do you have a printer I can borrow?" she says.
<paroneayea> "Yes," I say, "but it's an old LaserJet 4L.  Is that alright?"
<paroneayea> "Should be," she responds.
<paroneayea> Then she hands me this paper.  It's like normal paper, but thicker, and... not friendly.
<paroneayea> I ask what it is and she says "cardstock."
<paroneayea> I raise an eyebrow and say, "you do realize that there's no way in hell my printer is going to print on this paper."
<paroneayea> "Oh."
<paroneayea> "Well," she says, "could we print it on normal paper and somehow transfer it to the cardstock?"
<paroneayea> "What, like print it out and literally cut it up and glue it on there?"
<paroneayea> "No, like, if you printed it out and then stuck it in your scanner, maybe we could print it out again on the cardstock?"
<althalus> wtf
<paroneayea> She couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard
<Wilf> lol
<althalus> that needs to go up on bash.
<paroneayea> agreed

#250661 +(1033)- [X]

<RSX-2003> my friend might get suspended from school
<RSX-2003> she's enrolled in child developement, so she has to work with the special kids on campus
<RSX-2003> and they had their own dance, and my friend cintheia was the DJ
<RSX-2003> and she put on the song by black eyed peas called "lets get retarded"
<RSX-2003> if she didn't start laughing she probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble

#395656 +(255)- [X]

* nickname has joined #mp3friendschat
<nickname>  word
<+bobbbit10>  excel?
<+Davman>  rofl

#395664 +(272)- [X]

<Spydie> ive been playing games too much, when i close my eyes i see gun fights
<NuGgEt|mIRC> i see naked men

#402212 +(2369)- [X]

<Ingo>I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of "Uninstall Shield"

#408973 +(2844)- [X]

<FoXeh> The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass
<FoXeh> Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
<FoXeh> Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
<FoXeh> Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
<FoXeh> Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
<FoXeh> Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

#619483 +(1953)- [X]

<Viperz> I don't know what to write on my college application for community service that I've done...
<SG> Priest in World of Warcraft

#627243 +(868)- [X]

* GLE has joined #motl
<implode> if you want to blow the dealer, thats your option
<{Excabus}> If I was a girl, I'd totally give head for magic cards.
* GLE has quit IRC (Quit: Note to self; stop coming here)

#635581 +(780)- [X]

< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now
< traicovn> until security comes and gets me
< traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to her room. 
< traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same up there so I turned her down.

#776488 +(578)- [X]

<Meltro> the song you are referring to is 'Dueling Banjos', as made famous in some hickish movie I don't remember
<Meltro> Requiem for a full set of teeth or something

#843987 +(1325)- [X]

sploich 1: You know what's funny?
sploich 1: From the late 1800's into even the 60's and I think 70's, women were fighting for their rights.
sploich 1: Now, we have women like Fergie.
sploich 1: It's like, they fight for almost 100 years to not be known as objects, then once they get that they dance in rap songs about male supremecy.
SALawncare: then there's ann coulter
sploich 1: He doesn't count.

#882587 +(615)- [X]

<+Lekon> Oddly enough in fable 2 I AM queerbait somehow
<+Lekon> All the gay guys in bowerstone are trying to marry my guy
<+HereticMachine> Sent.
<+Lekon> Its a Halo above my head, not a steering wheel for my mouth bastards.

#914636 +(1150)- [X]

<Roderick> the book I am reading, You Shall Know Our Velocity!, is one of those books you can't rush
<ninda42> is the subtitle for that book But you Shall never know our Position! ?

#948884 +(1811)- [X]

<&Siyo> i successfully stopped a print job once
<&Siyo> AM I GOD?

0.0326 20982 quotes approved; 5246 quotes pending
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