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#284 +(77)- [X]

<ikkenai> what does sex in a boat and american beer have in common
<ikkenai> they're both fucking close to water

#360 +(1121)- [X]

<sphynx> crushes suck
<sphynx> i hate em
<sphynx> the dilemma, the desperation
<sphynx> the hopes dashed etc
<shirazz> the masturbation
<shirazz> hehehe
<bark> the masturbation is ok.
<Kyoto> hey.. the masturbation is good..

#429 +(831)- [X]

<thinkr> will the dvd have a special mode to remove jar jar?

#851 +(1067)- [X]

<BlackDeTh> this girl was taking e for the first time.. so i knew what i had to do.. i made it a night she'll remember. (and me too :D
<lux> she'll remember it as rape at the trial and you'll remember it as consentual

#861 +(696)- [X]

<rob`> <Satanic0> vai toma no cu filha da puta
<rob`> _________________________________________
<rob`> HELP ME

#3578 +(605)- [X]

<myzery> MIAMI -- An 81-year-old woman who arrived in court Thursday in a wheelchair plotted to smuggle 9,931 doses of Ecstasy in her luggage on a flight from London, authorities said.
<matts> hahah
<[prefix]> haha
<matts> What a doofus
<skycriesx> whered u read that
<myzery> the onion

#3588 +(348)- [X]

*** da-guvnor (~tonto@pc2-stoc4-0-cust224.mid.cable.ntl.com) Quit (If girls are made of sugar & spice......why do they taste of fish.)

#4914 +(377)- [X]

<clay> and i raped your mother %your.age years ago

#6200 +(719)- [X]

<barkode:#916> playing tribes for last 5 hours
<Pesto:#916> wow, you're still at work?
<barkode:#916> yeah.

#6527 +(157)- [X]

<CitizenC> The "P" in "#P-Raves" stands for "get the fuck out of our channel, bitch!"

#6596 +(54)- [X]

<Mr_Bandit> how come when ever i go in the sea it makes me scratch in my private bit

#6951 +(221)- [X]

<glasnost> i didn't have a life.
<glasnost> i had a BBS.

#7449 +(175)- [X]

<iec|brb> k why are my shoes wet?
<Lucid`> iec - cuz i missed yer cheek....

#7998 +(240)- [X]

<mewse> i bet she was really hot in preschool

#9209 +(349)- [X]

<Disco`Stu> fat girls need loving too
<kodos> someone has to take one for the team
<kodos> i vote its luke
<lukeiyo-e> damn you fuckers
<lukeiyo-e> alright.. someone pass me a torch

#15684 +(184)- [X]

<kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer pookie.. "Oh come
  on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats it... "

#15753 +(312)- [X]

<Xney> how goes the job search?
<Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
<Xney> oh you haven't started?
<Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
<Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
<fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business between posting
  the ad and my email to them

#17975 +(43)- [X]

A_Dab_of_Drunkey : so the lesson learned from that is if i hit someone with something, say....my dick, theyd blow it? watch out olsen twins!

#20782 +(164)- [X]

<Shastao> ...which is more disturbing, the fact we calculated a weird, weird way to go impossible distances in virtually no time, or the fact you can become a minister online? :P

#22429 +(143)- [X]

<ImotepReturns[WoA]> since this is a room full of whom i suspect are adaults
<ImotepReturns[WoA]> whats the best advice everyone has?
<ImotepReturns[WoA]> in life that is
<Caedar[SOT]> Uh.... "Don't try and write good code at 4 in the morning."
<Caedar[SOT]> ;)
<AnthraX101> Or, as it applies to IR: try and write good code.

#23096 +(471)- [X]

<nicks> I drew the most realistic cock you'd ever see on a graphic calculator yesterday in math class

#24663 +(685)- [X]

<DAL9000> man real life sucks
<Spec-Chum> sure does
<DAL9000> excellent graphics, no gameplay.
<Spec-Chum> like most games :p
<mcarp> my score is low

#34421 +(129)- [X]

KoG_Work> God damn it... "the westbound backup to the toll plaza is horrible! west 80 is slow from central, 580 jams up from lakeshore, and north 880 is slow from the grand avenue curve. the metering lights are on, and traffic on the upper deck is slow from the incline into san francisco" ~_~
* KoG_Work ponders taking the 92...
<KoG_Work> if it's backed up to lakeshore, can't even make a detour to Ikea like I normally do!
<St0rmD> you go to the furniture store so much you have detours and shortcuts to get there?
<DishHole> maybe ikea has a drive-through

#35634 +(1238)- [X]

<WillaCuz> everyone that rides in my car says 'i feel lik im in the batmobile'
<pagan> thats cuz you wear that fucking rediculouse outfit

#39310 +(636)- [X]

<PrincessLeia2> once i climbed on the roof at my old (upstairs) apartment and climbed in through a window when I didnt have my keys
<Shell Gh0st> I use to do that
<Shell Gh0st> you had a nice apartment

#40501 +(131)- [X]

<Guilty> In my politics class, my teacher said the reason crime is dropping today is because the abortions started in 1973 of single mothers of ethnic backgrounds
<Guilty> Hence all the kids who were never born, arent here today to be criminals

#44373 +(140)- [X]

<Guff> .l
<Guff> lol
<HipPriest> LOL@guff having a /l command

#45836 +(215)- [X]

•psynapse• pfft you think you kid is special?
•psynapse• when i guy cums he releases over 10 million sperm
•psynapse• at once
·seraph· wow
•psynapse• and you're amazed that ONE of these can fertilize an egg?
·Floach-· that's a lot of dead babies
•psynapse• heh :)
·Floach-· ;)
·seraph· ewww
•psynapse• i have let civilizations die on my chest

#49573 +(173)- [X]

Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat and what you can eat is blurred

#49797 +(1175)- [X]

<frenzaldude> I can't believe that around 60% dont want an XBox!
<frenzaldude> I couldn't wait to get mine. XBox is the best gaming console of all time, even look at the stats: http://www.xbox365.com/xp_consoles.shtml
<Flashman> To quote www.maddox.xmission.com, "Saying the Xbox is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made a great painting because you used the best set of paints."
<frenzaldude> not really, coz u might be a crap painter
<frenzaldude> anyway xbox has the best graphics and stuf, and u can put it onto the internet!!! thats my fav feature

#77636 +(280)- [X]

<neoMesis> thats like 11 year olds having sex
<aux_> i dunno but i like it

#96067 +(363)- [X]

<akim> man, i fucking hate my comtech teacher. he's always riding my ass about something
<akim> i'd like to slap him around with his stupid skullcap
<goojoe> oh is that the uber-jew teacher?
<akim> yeah
<akim> im starting to think it has something to do with the fact that my last name is auschwitz...
<mfer> ahahahahahahahahah
<mfer> i mean.. yeah man, that sucks
<akim> :/

#128423 +(380)- [X]

[quit:#] moodlet (Connection reset by peer)
<moodlet> thou shalt not unplug the hub to plug in one's hairdryer

#136804 +(416)- [X]

racer-x: i cant smell sarcasm over irc
ryan0: get closer to the screen

#141183 +(763)- [X]

<@Blaxthos> so apparently my 17yo cousin has VD
<@seiki> heh
<@seiki> Blaxthos: sucky
<@Blaxthos> yea, she's hot )-;

#177475 +(343)- [X]

<tuckt26> MD = farm land, DC = Gangs and concrete, VA = Wine, music, and the finer qualities of life
<Calisa> And what would OH stand for?
<aeonite> When you put KY in your VA you go OH.

#222456 +(476)- [X]

<ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
<Gino> I don't even wanna know this one....
<ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!!
<Gino> Oh how rite i was

#238812 +(761)- [X]

<raindog> I'll ring you when I head out...
<morgamic> <3
<raindog> lol
<morgamic> want me to pick you up?
<raindog> nice testicles
<morgamic> it's a heart you jackass.
<raindog> oh

#246605 +(476)- [X]

<DoCa-Cola> ALL rap is bullshit
<DoCa-Cola> all it is is "fuck that nigger, he fucked my woman, fuck that woman, she fucked my nigga"

#272726 +(2571)- [X]

[brianh] smaller boobs are cool
(Akira1) hmm
[brianh] like the kind that 8 year old girls have
[brianh] 18
[brianh] I fucking meant 18
(Akira1) hahaha

#399838 +(1037)- [X]

OriginalEmoo: haha someone lost her bronze medal for cyling cuz she failed doping test
OriginalEmoo: god damn if i end up taking drugs to perform better i am not getting my ass kicked by 2 people who didnt

#483316 +(503)- [X]

<Zeta7> man
<Zeta7> dont give me that guns are bad shit
<Zeta7> I have numerous guns and I dont remember the last time a life was taken with any of them
<[sq]> guns
<[sq]> hehe
<[sq]> you know i have blackouts like that too

#651411 +(236)- [X]

<Baloo> Supermarkets should have a newbie lane for the self-checkout.
<Baloo> "If you're a loser who hasn't seen the bag boy scan shit at the checkout before, and you've never bought a soda from a vending machine in your life, use this line."

#715093 +(1337)- [X]

MrHahn2265: she is my sister
MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard
MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint

#738981 +(1011)- [X]

<Bus> y = |x|
<JaxomZero> thats thinking positive

#745385 +(908)- [X]

<@Sadist> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Age_of_Consent.png
<@Sadist> data for age of consent all around the world.
<Dano> Is that in your bookmarks?
<@Sadist> its my home page

#754839 +(595)- [X]

< Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me a sysadmin zombie!
< Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and labeling today :-D
< daven> fun
< Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss

#827929 +(1776)- [X]

Seppukakke: You know, in the Old Testament, God was full of Wroth and Vengeance. You did bad stuff, he rained brimstone down on your ungrateful ass or harrassed your people with 7 plagues.
Seppukakke: In the New Testament, its like he has turned over a new leaf, you don't hear some much of the nasty things he did to his people (because if you believe in it, everyone on earth is his creation)
Seppukakke: You know what happened around the time between the New Testament and the Old Testament?
Seppukakke: He got laid.

#940365 +(1107)- [X]

<raylu> Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'

#962685 +(228)- [X]

<omglolbah> our official template database had a digital test logic page called "DIGITEST" (from the times when we used 8.3 filenames)
<omglolbah> so my coworker needed to create one for analog test logic <.<
<omglolbah> I got to write the docs for "Template: ANALTEST"

0.0678 21090 quotes approved; 911 quotes pending
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