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#1542 +(120)- [X]

<Evil_Kneival> I see.
<super`radish> dude
<super`radish> stop with the punctuation
<Evil_Kneival> Why?
<super`radish> because its like putting a rainbow cowboy sticker on your car bumper

#1611 +(616)- [X]

<tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a minimal octal instead of puging the cache

#1785 +(530)- [X]

<Weazel> stupid cops
<Weazel> always giving me shit

#1908 +(379)- [X]

<timmo> they need to make a 41oz
<timmo> so you can poor 1 oz to the dead homies
<timmo> and drink the 40

#3855 +(328)- [X]

<imsoemo> i should sell information on how to join irc on ebay
<CaliburX> Just make it sound complicated and expensive
<CaliburX> Have you ever wanted to talk with other sophisticated beings like yourself for free on your own personal computer? With this 42 step guide your dreams will become a reality and your life will be forever enjoyable.
<CaliburX> Only $99.99 plus shipping and handling

#4233 +(278)- [X]

<JoeyB> what would be better of a car to modify, a honda accord, or a toyota
<Focus2001> oh man'
<pagan> which is better, dog poop or cat poop?
<pagan> ;p
<coug_> LOL

#4919 +(38)- [X]

<CiXeL> if you have zillions of bbses in a billion ips using strong encryption all over, GAME OVER GOVT

#7348 +(165)- [X]

<trance> pj eats little kids for breakfast
<pUrPLe_jArGOn> I used to trance, but I cracked a tooth on a thighbone and the doctor told me I should move to more conventional foods

#7802 +(38)- [X]

<coma> wank carefully and do not destroy your penis :)
<xetlain> wise words.
<coma> for men with divine penises like us, yes

#10983 +(195)- [X]

<outlaws> that's so gay
<joyrekz> speaking of gay
<joyrekz> i watched the gay pride parade on tv just to see some lesbians, is that wrong of me?
<outlaws> nope

#13600 +(449)- [X]

<Mort-Hog> How do u spell Encylop(a)edia?
<Flirbnic> Insyklepudier

#13725 +(58)- [X]

<_emma_> I'm just like a Barbie doll, I come with all the accesories <Mort-Hog> And you have your underwear melted on to you? :)
<_emma_> Barbies in my day had no underwear
<Mort-Hog> What? My barbies all have their plastic underwear molded on to their bodies

#14024 +(384)- [X]

<Hayd1488> Any Intelligent Women here?
<grovibtch> yeah
<grovibtch> but they're not dumb enough to msg u

#14510 +(194)- [X]

<nightfal> diffused: Runtime().exec() is just a shortcut to
           ((Satan)System.getPropety("SATAN")).burnMyFaceOff(). Don't do it

#16230 +(267)- [X]

([m1]) teresa do you remember what i told you about the playground mentality of guys?
(resa) playground?
(resa) they only think about sex?
([m1]) no teresa
([m1]) that boys in elementary school would pick on girls they like
(Mog2) i'd hate to know how teresa connected the playground to thinking about sex

#22745 +(97)- [X]

<@Bikutoru|gone> well, you beat me
<@Bikutoru|gone> i'm out of ammo
<+Edwin> already?
<@Bikutoru|gone> damn right
<+Edwin> jeez no wonder men call you the "minute man" in bed
<@Bikutoru|gone> =|

#28978 +(14)- [X]

<GRiPEX> why am i getting packeted from ACA2CA99.ipt.aol.com
<GRiPEX> its killing my linux machine

#32381 +(1306)- [X]

<qurve> She's all like "We're in a relationship, you can't go around having
          sex with people"
<qurve> Then we get into this huge debate about what defines 'people'

#34773 +(329)- [X]

<Mxeil> You have a g/f right
<DakotaKid> Mxeil: No.
<Mxeil> DK: How can I guy as intellectual as you not have a girl!
<DakotaKid> Mxeil: Maybe because I have a boyfriend.
<Mxeil> DK: Your a girl?
<DakotaKid> Mxeil: Listen numbnut... I'm male. I have a boyfriend. Do I need to spell it out any clearer?
<Wrexen> dk I think you need to explain the whole 'plumbing' of having a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend

#40345 +(189)- [X]

*** Melchior (none@1df4f87e.a763dad.dragon.net.au) has joined #allniterz
*** Ass-Mastah sets mode: +a Melchior
<Orlyx> lol
<Melchior> what
<Orlyx> ur hostmsak
<Tripper> Melchior you, my friend, are gay
<Orlyx> what happened?
<Orlyx> *** Melchior (none@one.inch.killer.org) has joined #allniterz
<Orlyx> lol wtf
<Orlyx> whyd u get that as ur vhost
<Melchior> lol wtf!
<Orlyx> lol
<Melchior> i have no idea
<Orlyx> i bet if u quit and come back itll go away
<Melchior> i never saw it
*** Melchior (none@1df4f87e.a763dad.dragon.net.au) Quit (Quit: )
<Orlyx> lmfao
<Orlyx> god i love him

#41326 +(252)- [X]

<test4> ive been tied up before with ethernet cable to my bedpost

#43370 +(99)- [X]

*** Signoff: dejay (Quit: If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?)

#49236 +(20)- [X]

<Sirea> I want a daughter who has a tentacle fetish
<Sirea> I also want to be able to download new fetishes to her brain on the fly

#50101 +(465)- [X]

{+Maynard} Guys i have a queastion
{@Dark|gone} no you dont blow its just called that

#60105 +(303)- [X]

#83489 +(2677)- [X]

<Luigi30> someone ping flood
<Luigi30> he keeps trying to hack me
<Luigi30> nm
<Floach> This, folks, is why Mario always gets the Princess.

#98039 +(176)- [X]

<Tkil> chaos_ -- oh... and if you're a beginner... don't worry overmuch about efficiency.
<billn> if I wanted efficency, I'd put bigger tires on my truck, so I could get the whole cat in one pass.

#98045 +(717)- [X]

<Mutiny> I'm having this teeny problem and I want to know if somebody can help me with it..
<mjd> mutiny: Sever the main neck tendons before cutting through the spinal cord.  That will allow you more opportunity to separate the vertebrae prior to removing the head.

#101689 +(1132)- [X]

<@Pr|cK> oi shan on sunday last week at footlocker when i was buying new shoes
<@Pr|cK> there was this REALLY HOT chick working there right
<@Pr|cK> anyway i went in to buy shoes, and she saw my $500 sunnies
<@Pr|cK> and she gave me her number
<@cray> pfft that's nothing...i went into this shop and waved around my expensive gun, and the chick behind the counter gave me all her money

#110264 +(1029)- [X]

#139622 +(1901)- [X]

<Nash> YES&#8230;they caught the bastard who made the blaster virus
<Nash> looks like he will be getting 10 yrs max in prison
<DDR4life> serves him right
<DROSS> Someone is soon going to discover how strangely painful the shower hour in prison is
<FiringSquad> He&#8217;ll probably catch a different type of virus in prison
<LexiusTheGenuis> poor kids virginity is going to the recycle bin
<Sczoyd> cellmates will probably be giving him some rather large uploads
<Antibig> theyll be installing some new hardware in his rectum
<FiringSquad> looks like his unprotected port is going to be probed
<Sczoyd> I hope he doesnt mind other men using his hard drive
<JSP> a roll like him is going to get rolled a lot
<Sczoyd> his prison mates are going to have a lot of fun with their new laptop
<ShinKurro> someone will find out a new way to spread viruses
<Nash> okay, that wasn&#8217;t really called for.

#164979 +(243)- [X]

<Ice_Dragon> microsoft will always be around
<Ice_Dragon> I got news for you, Raede
<Ice_Dragon> when the nuclear weapons kill mankind and the cockroaches mutate into giants
<Ice_Dragon> they'll be using windows
<Ice_Dragon> cockroach windows

#167594 +(671)- [X]

<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?

#180081 +(10949)- [X]

<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

#212641 +(514)- [X]

<@GM`> My god damn script is disobeying me.
<@GM`> It's like I programmed a woman >:(

#218267 +(825)- [X]

<@Majistic> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 39 is:
<@Majistic>            (Geography) What is the basic unit of currency for Syria ?
<MEBKlaymen> children
<evol> women

#218577 +(755)- [X]

<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what decade

#379015 +(197)- [X]

SlythDra: Thou shalt not rewire the coffee maker to insult the parentage of anyone who uses it.

#400730 +(375)- [X]

strangeanya: yah he's a prick...
porter is a dick: men are such pigs
porter is a dick: show me your tits

#408882 +(1371)- [X]

<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating
<Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened
<Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table"
<Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..."
<Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha
<Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time
<Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting.

#454578 +(1194)- [X]

Opti: i was really bored... had 2 options... 1) watch paint dry  2) come to #general
Opti: i chose the paint...
Opti: but thats dry now :/

#476808 +(768)- [X]

<Khabi> Night. Don't let the bed bug bite.
<Groverton> Bed bug?
<Khabi> Yeah, there's just one, but he's FUCKING HUGE!

#606775 +(1603)- [X]

<Sarah> lol, i was at a speech and debate tournament in 9th grade at a public high school in albuquerque.  the counselor's office was right next to the culinary arts office.  on the counselor's office window, there was a poster that said "Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem" and on the culinary arts window there was a poster that read: "Use the right knife"

#607500 +(641)- [X]

Faustmaster300: OK, my sis asked how to spell danke, which is german for thx, so i tell her, iamaretard. she types it in and sends it to her friend. didnt even realize. i will never let her live it down.

#659570 +(621)- [X]

<Bobzilla> Curse this hooker website taking so long to load!
<Bobzilla> argh
<K Doc> ...
<Bobzilla> I can feel your judgemental stare
<Bobzilla> It feels good.

#696919 +(691)- [X]

<W-ll-am> well its nearly working
<BoltBait> You are aware, code that ALMOST works looks NOTHING like the code that ACTUALLY works.
<W-ll-am> dont tell me that, its due tomorrow

#776360 +(1217)- [X]

--> hindenburg (~ash@cloaked.rr.com) has joined #overclockers
<a474645> hindenburg like the german zeppelin disaster?
<hindenburg> what can i say
<hindenburg> blimpin aint easy

#806948 +(584)- [X]

bmp: I'm a strangulation risk
bmp: recall me
lord: contains small parts
lord: keep away from children (for other reasons)
bmp: :<

#858252 +(971)- [X]

Eldragon: seriously the level of public debate in this country is about the same as an elementary school yard
Eldragon: Wolf Blitzer: This just in from the tether ball Court, Obama's friend said Ms. Clinton has cooties.

#893952 +(474)- [X]

<billings> amazingly enough, putting my elbow on the keyboard isn't the proper syntax for this perl script. 
<jss> No, you need both elbows.

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