#699 +(50)- [X]
<shockf00> anyone know where the fuck i can DL a bot for irc?
<shockf00> isnt it like named Poloris or some shit?
#2731 +(220)- [X]
<Camo> i licked the adhesive on the envelope cuz i thought it would be erotic
#3743 +(244)- [X]
<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy
#5729 +(1080)- [X]
<Lord-Data> god damn faggot game
<Lord-Data> why the fuck would i wanna pick up a corpse when im on 10% health, theres a minigun in front of me and im under fire
<Lord-Data> when i push use i wanna use the god damn gun, not fuck the damn corpse
#5750 +(619)- [X]
<TeNcHi420> i went to this store to buy a pipe, and there was only one left, and hes all "its unbreakable" so i was like thats pretty cool, but then he starts bangin it on the tble, and im like ok stop, but he says, "no look, you can hit it how ever many times and it wont break.." on about the 7th or 8th smack on the table the thing shatters....i almost knoked his dumbass out
#5863 +(2910)- [X]
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#7419 +(600)- [X]
<elite_chaR> butcher im sitting like right behind you at lanwar :D
<elite_chaR> SO NO FUNNY BUSINESS
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD NOISES
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SMELLS
<elite_chaR> NO WEIRD SPELLING
<butcher> dude, too late, I just f4rt3d
<butcher> that's a wierd noise, a weird smell, and a weird spelling.
#10877 +(303)- [X]
<Vod> that sentence is even more screwed up than even mine usual are
#11154 +(234)- [X]
<Tridon> hate cold water
* Tridon left the shower in a huff!
<Iksion> tridon ah your willy has shrinked in cold water?
<Tridon> this morning I had to talk him down, just so that I could take a piss... Now he's not even there any longer
#13545 +(251)- [X]
<graeme123> i dont understand
<graeme123> be more pacific
#20007 +(352)- [X]
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#20305 +(111)- [X]
<sara> i <3'ed george michael
<sara> he started wearing his goatee like satan
<[pele]> till he started sucking cock in bathrooms
<[pele]> that too
#24782 +(160)- [X]
<friar> that's a horrific thought
<friar> the white, pale flesh of your manboobs glistening with Bliw soap suds
<friar> brb wank
#27893 +(149)- [X]
<Rick^y>shit, one time, i jerked off into kleenex, but i didn't have enough time to through it out cause the phone rang
<Rick^y>so i forget about the kleenex, and couple hours later i end up wiping my mouth with it
#33897 +(373)- [X]
<chikster> orion thinks im mad fine
* chikster dances around room
<orion> you need more pics
<chikster> never knew that
<orion> and i need to shave
<orion> i look like i'm 30
<chikster> i will have more when i get my camera
<maff> dont shave dude
<maff> grow an inverse fro
<jestuh> yeah chik i think you're pretty hot too in an don't-arrest-me way
#36623 +(514)- [X]
<jessepence> look I can lick my nose
#38597 +(764)- [X]
<JtotheD> do you even know what mecca is
<Loopy1> a robot that people fight in
#43823 +(227)- [X]
<griffin> would you tongue fuck pagans asshole for 27.4 million?
<jstepka-w> i'd do a lot of shit for 27.4 million
<griffin> would you kill your mom?
<jstepka-w> would I get caught?
#43885 +(13)- [X]
<Resident0> when i was lil i put one of those square batteries on my tongue
<Resident0> and it shocked me and made my tongue blister
<Resident0> it owned
#44550 +(45)- [X]
<squall999991> whats a psx
<squall999991> what the psx look like
<squall999991> hey so is the psx beter than the playstation
#45281 +(418)- [X]
<Sonson> (picture address) ......scary part? this was last year.... my hair grows REALLY fast O_o
<Sonson> and I have fecal hair
<Ronald_MacK> Fecal hair?
<Ronald_MacK> What the hell have you been eating?
<Sonson> Fecial hair ^^
#46093 +(335)- [X]
<mhardyx> left one is either going to be shortened or removed
<mhardyx> and the right one is coming off so they can take the screw out
<[Bardell]> IS HE TALKING ABOUT HIS BALLS!?!?!
#46835 +(292)- [X]
<krypt> note to self: never tell a girl she's not tight
<Bigbacon> did you?
<krypt> i told her best friend last night
<Bigbacon> what was her responce?
<krypt> her best friend was like
<krypt> 'she wanted you to think she was a virgin' and i was like 'i never thought she was a virgin' 'she wasn't tight enough'
<krypt> then i was like
<krypt> 'she has small boobs with big nipples too'
<krypt> and her friend was like
<krypt> I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS STUFF
#49758 +(313)- [X]
<Cozma> if i had breasts i'd sit around and feel them all day
<Cozma> oh wait
* Cozma bbl.
#50174 +(512)- [X]
<schnorks> One time I used a sock as a glove.
<Rivorus> One time i used a glove for a condom.
<Rivorus> okay... five times
#51765 +(184)- [X]
<wanman2> c++ is so much more intuitive than any language i've learned
<wanman2> that's my thought of the night
<wanman2> and with that, good night.
<fib> let us bathe in its profundity
<wanman2> and lather ourselves with its wisdom
<lbandit> and watch it flow down the drain
<lbandit> amidst our pubic hairs and semen
<lbandit> and urine
<wanman2> and vaginal discharge
<fib> my bishop delivers no sermons in the shower
#52407 +(68)- [X]
<Ronwe> /slap -chainsaw "joojoo"
<joojoo> /slap -cock "Ronwe"
<Ronwe> it's not big enough to hurt
<joojoo> Text generally doesn't.
<Ronwe> interesting... your cock is text
<joojoo> Whoever said that?
<joojoo> Whoever said I was using my "cock"~#@E Q&!#*(
<joojoo> WOW LETS GET ANALLY TECHNICAL NOW =]
<Ronwe> Do me a favour
<Ronwe> Don't use the word anal when we're talking about cocks
#60866 +(564)- [X]
<@dustin> tonight is not my night
<@dustin> i was putting on some socks..and when i was pulled the sock up, my hand slipped and hit my nuts..then i fell over cause it hurt so bad and when i fell i hit my head on the counter
<@Patrick> wheres the fire?
<@Patrick> why were you pulling your socks up so fast
<@dustin> i wanted to get back on irc
#75249 +(670)- [X]
<CyberMind> ive been programming and using computers since my old days in the womb.
<CyberMind> umbilical ethernet
<SR71Goku> how fast do you get on it?
<SR71Goku> I'd imagine at least 1gigabit/s
<CyberMind> actually quite slow.
<CyberMind> network was flooded with protein and nutrient packets.
<SR71Goku> "Daddy once DoSed my connection..."
<CyberMind> ok im ending it right there.
#81779 +(158)- [X]
[Magus1] I don't crap regularly :(
[AmphibianKnight] You talk daily, don't you?
#82128 +(215)- [X]
<@Beebop> You know you're really addicted to CS when you stop masturbate cuz you think your neighbor has a wallhack
#115983 +(824)- [X]
<@Rob_Saunders> why do people dislike pop bands?
<+K_Praslowicz> Mecause it is mass-produced crap
<@Rob_Saunders> it's not all crap :(
<+K_Praslowicz> Maybe, But I'm not one to dig through piles of shit to pick out a good piece of corn to eat.
#121476 +(60)- [X]
<fearz> better than my case
<fearz> the police caught me with 20 cc's
<fearz> i got probation for a year
<xvx> that sucks
<fearz> and had to repay like $4000
<xvx> that doesnt look good on a record
<xvx> fraud at the age of 15
<fearz> hell, it looks perfect now with all the other shit
#135909 +(159)- [X]
<cdk> the computer admin at the office is just the kinda LINUX 0wnZ WIND0wZ nazi
<cdk> and he's goddamn paranoid
<cdk> and he smells
<@noosie> most linux guru's smell
<@noosie> linux before personal hygiene... that's their moto
<cdk> do most linux guru's whistle and make awful jokes and hysterically laugh at their OWN jokes?
#136517 +(1427)- [X]
<Booyaah> There's something making a noise outside my window
<Booyaah> Should I go check out what the heck is making that noise or just leave it alone?
<Booyaah> it's like a low sort of moaning
<ViewtifulJosh> call the cops, heh
<Booyaah> That's what I'd call it Frozen
<Elzie_Ann> So is this like a "People are having sex outside my window" type of moaning or a "there's an injured cat outside my window" type of moaning
<Frozen-Solid> could only be one thing... promiscuous sex... you could go out and watch if you want
<Booyaah> I'm gonna go with the injured cat thing
<Stormrider> It might be an injured cat having sex
<Booyaah> If people are having sex outside my window then it sounds like only one is doing a good job
<Stormrider> That may be the greatest thing you've ever said, Booyaah
<Booyaah> It's getting louder :|
<Booyaah> ok, I'm gonna go check
<Booyaah> I don't really want to have things like that going on in my yard
<Elzie_Ann> I don't have any other ideas
<Booyaah> I'm thinking there's a good chance it was a kitty
<Frozen-Solid> or carl's idea...
<Elzie_Ann> That's what I would think
<Elzie_Ann> Some kind of cat
<Booyaah> but my cat would notice...
<Booyaah> My cat = me
<Booyaah> It just lays around doing nothing
<Booyaah> you know if people were doing it outside my window
<Frozen-Solid> you'd have a camera Booyaah?
<Booyaah> Frozen, you're scaring me
<Booyaah> I suppose I could've taped it though
<Booyaah> it's starting up again
* Booyaah is away : Outside with flashlight
--- Booyaah is now known as Booyaah-away
** Time Passes **
<Booyaah> People in this town scare me.
<Elzie_Ann> Did you find out what it was, Booyaah?
<Booyaah> sure did
<Elzie_Ann> What was it
<Booyaah> some dude
<Booyaah> me: "What the fuck are you doing man?" him: "...nothing" me: "you aren't playing with yourself out here are you?" him: "Maybe" me: "well...I really think you should do that in your own home, not my bushes ok" him: "ok" me: "get the fuck out of here"
#147008 +(221)- [X]
<curse|sleeeep> i think i'm calling in to work tomorrow
<curse|sleeeep> i'm coughing up things that aren't even mine
<Zomb-mar> next time spit and dont swallow
#206281 +(674)- [X]
<gordo> who here knows their trance well?
<gordo> i need the title of that trance song, with the choir singing in the background
<gordo> (high pitch) la la la la la, la la la la
<gordo> (lower) la la la laaaaaaa, la (high) la la
<WardoG> Wow that's specific
#229921 +(461)- [X]
<warezfrea> can any1 tell me where I can download GTA Vice city?
<@Conz> buy it, rip it, put up your own ftp, download it
#254287 +(1568)- [X]
<jadedlphoto> Maybe the free masons control porn now.
<gz> the carnal cabal?
<firegod> the illuminaughty?
#375014 +(251)- [X]
<XvoiD> We need more members for the forums. I've told all my friends now tell all yours. Im sure they will love it here. Come on and help out the forums.
<debian_> What if people start to advertise and the forums get a flood of people like Ra... noobs.
<thomas> what if we became an elite group of forumers who took over the world by sticking together in a pack of small numbers, fighting the odds, and defeating cobra commander whenever possible?
#424370 +(523)- [X]
MycenaeSC2K4: Sigmund Freud once thorized that all male children have, at one point or another, want to have sex with their mothers.
MycenaeSC2K4: Now, one might think "OMG WTF?!"
MycenaeSC2K4: Until they get a look at Freud's mom...
Surfrider132: uhh, yeah
MycenaeSC2K4: Holy fuck, I'd want that!!
#448929 +(309)- [X]
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> i have to go now
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> au revoir
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> chin chow tay
* rohirrim-not-a-mofo was kicked by Sarumatt||Lurking (Or just plain "Goodbye.")
#477879 +(160)- [X]
<sme> i want an easier girlfriend :(
<sme> it's too hard
<sme> its on nightmare atm
<sme> need an 'i can win' girlfriend
#579685 +(1988)- [X]
Rude: holy shit people take everything the wrong way. I was having dinner, so when I get back to the comp my buddy asks what I was doing. so i told him, and he's like "oh yeah? that your code name for jacking off nowadays?"
Rude: then just now i was jacking off and someone asked what I was doing, so I told em i was jerking, and they're like "lmao, so what're you actually doing? making dinner or someshit?"
Rude: I'm just going to make shit up from now on :/
#637552 +(746)- [X]
<aamP> i named my two goldfish 1 and 2
<aamP> because if 1 died i still had 2
#713150 +(530)- [X]
Viki: chris.....say NO to peadophiles
Viki: oh fuck.. I walked into that
#715074 +(831)- [X]
SilverInsanity5: This girl next to me was looking up 'penis' on Wikipedia during English
SilverInsanity5: So I asked if she wanted some hands-on learning instead looking at a computer
SilverInsanity5: We got so many looks that day
#737527 +(162)- [X]
<Jenny The Xenomorph> I found a good example of why i dont talk to my parents much though. My mum found a picture of the sun my dad took a while back during the eclipse. had a large dark spot on it, which they were trying to work out what it was.
#787734 +(940)- [X]
Trey: for some reason IE is throwing a SHIT-FIT about where I'm using
document.getElementById("displayBoardSelector").innerHTML = html;
what the hell. explain your stupid browser.
Dakk12: did you properly light your incense?
Dakk12: in what order did you do the chant and throw the chicken bones?
#806949 +(707)- [X]
<Ryou> 360's are great but their hardware quality is pretty lol
<Kuraineko> it's called 360 because of the trip it takes
<Kuraineko> from microsoft, to you, back to microsoft, to you again