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#105 +(1019)- [X]

<Theseus-> i love funk music so much... that sometimes i wish i was black and then i remember that i might want to get a job some day

#514 +(281)- [X]

<Lathari> jack your ethernet into my ass and we'll have ourselves a REAL Lan party.

#899 +(322)- [X]

<Amanda`> YOUR 'FLOW' IS AKIN TO THAT OF MY NASAL-VOICED 3RD GRADE TEACHER.

#2308 +(158)- [X]

<Pv> i like my women as thin as chopsticks
<Pv> so i can eat my rice with them

#2683 +(73)- [X]

<PolestaR> nah you can survive short periods
<PolestaR> in space
<PolestaR> but its cold isnt it aswell
<PolestaR> I donno for sure

#2921 +(464)- [X]

(Fungus): idler, define " life " please :)
(Idler): Fungus: Life is the thing that grows in my fridge
(Idler): Starting to get really big now
(Idler): Might have to kill it some day
(NX): did u try to eat it?
(Idler): NX: No, that's what I should have done a long time ago

#3026 +(60)- [X]

<kisama> you know what's hilarious
<kisama> leaving your fly unbuttoned
<kisama> then walking around all furtive
<DooD> ...
<kisama> hhahaha
<kisama> i did that today
<kisama> you'd think ppl would notice
<kisama> but i was in art all day
<kisama> with my zipper down
<kisama> and a long shirt
<DooD> they'd have to look at your wang area =P
<kisama> are they afraid of sensory overload or what?

#3111 +(1141)- [X]

(Brodie) If I go see a doctor and tell him I can't maintain an erection, will he give me Viagra?
(Brodie) I need viagra for my paln
(Samadhi) He may check you though
(Samadhi) Like give you a HJ to make sure you're telling the truth
(Brodie) Sweet
(Brodie) This is win win

#4291 +(130)- [X]

<_Deathbr_> u can update ur sblive value or gamer to a live 5.1
<_Deathbr_> i saw that at friends house and i was like whoa.. u come across some kewl shit while lookn for eprom reading writing info's
<travolta> you can also find a lot of cool pages if you search for the word "the"

#4869 +(81)- [X]

<l0wkey> im getting hemorrhoids
<l0wkey> from sitting on my butt all day ircing
<l0wkey> i should sue Khaled

#5971 +(447)- [X]

<Pseudonym> I got my mom addicted to GTA3 by accident ><

#6977 +(482)- [X]

<ZXPKNOBB> I should make a cereal, where it is potato chips.
<ZXPKNOBB> And you must eat it in water, not in milk.
<ZXPKNOBB> It'll be called Gross Flakes.

#7357 +(203)- [X]

<zeitgeist> or you could stick in some crap sendmail and root that
<zeitgeist> so many ways to get a shell dude :)
<lsd> hehe
<zeitgeist> and they arent illegal if its your box :P
<Fryboy> hehe
<Fryboy> "..and its not cheating cos its YOUR DOG"
<lsd> lol
<zeitgeist> and its not homosexual incest cause its YOUR stepbrother
<Fryboy> O_O
<Fryboy> and its not trespass to property, cos it was running SCO
<zeitgeist> lol

#13474 +(122)- [X]

<Rottingbeef> i live in "yawn" america
<Rottingbeef> but im only 11, so dont think im some serial killer

#14685 +(352)- [X]

<Abbadaba> man when i kick burn me and toss my ashes on some beach somewhere
<Abbadaba> yes
<Abbadaba> tan girls in thongs lying on me
<Abbadaba> something i could never have in life i get in death
<Abbadaba> amen

#16817 +(41)- [X]

<Nago> ... can you transmit aids from your hand to your cock?

#26524 +(188)- [X]

<Jon^D> ok three days of SMS and I'm still not laid
<Jon^D> stupid mobile phone relationships

#38395 +(307)- [X]

* byra bounces like a retard
<Argent-> Are you listening to something bouncy?
<byra> nope.
<byra> im listening to the hum of computers
<Argent-> Well, that always perks me up.
<Argent-> The comforting whirr of fans, the faint ozone smell.. ah, I love that new computer smell you get when you buy a new case.
<Argent-> The slick texture of anti-static bags..
<Argent-> the clink of mounting hardware
<countzero> -stop- you're turning me on!
<countzero> ooh la la.

#38699 +(871)- [X]

<Jikg> Might anyone have a CD burner that could answer a few quick questions?
<SinclairC> my CD burner doesn't talk to strangers
<SinclairC> >:(

#40217 +(214)- [X]

#44677 +(221)- [X]

<Killrbyte> In Oregon, they give food stamps on a debit-type card, called the Oregen Trail card.  But they're given in two ways: Either Cash or Food.  If its Food, then they can only buy Food with it, if its Cash (Which is rare), then they can anything, or even just cash out the card when it gets recharged automatically.  I'm not sure who gets which, but I know my tax money goes to it.
<Prozzy> The Oregeon Trail Card, do you have to shoot buffalo also if you have the card? What about your family, if they're starving or dying, can you just take them out back and shoot them?
<qrg> whev youve nearly run out of credit on your oregon trail card do you get to take a raft ride
<arse-poet> i love the really old school oregon trail game, where you go hunting and you like shoot a pixel at a blob of pixels representing a buffalo
<Prozzy> I know when I carry around my Orgeon Trail Card, Indians come out of nowhere and shoot arrows at my car

#48290 +(170)- [X]

<UFGailorJupiter> i'm going to go cleanse myself.
<UFGailorJupiter> i'll be bathing in the sacred hentai waters.
<UFGailorJupiter> well
<UFGailorJupiter> hentai game music waters.
<Bob_McBob> So what you mean is, you're going to download some porn and masturbate?
<UFGailorJupiter> Bob: YES!

#50940 +(119)- [X]

<Sn1p3r> Transferred 75 files totaling 3.41 GB in 01:20:20 (751.53 KBps)
<Sn1p3r> man, thats a lot of shit
<[Piratez]> be sure to flush
<[Piratez]> get a plunger while ur at it, i doubt 3.41gb will go down in one flush

#51054 +(8)- [X]

-ChanServ- Welcome to #Dynasty. Please note that these services have full help files and a quick /msg *Serv HELP (IE. /msg ChanServ HELP) will give you a complete listing. Please do not use any scripts in this channel. This includes but is not limited to, mp3 and system status scripts.
* Nice_Ghuy (~_________@202.155.106.DynastyNet-64857) has joined #Dynasty
<Nice_Ghuy> /msg *Serv HELP
* Nice_Ghuy (~_________@202.155.106.DynastyNet-64857) has left #Dynasty

#55882 +(189)- [X]

<Chernoskill> it's scary when people start measuring time in dowloaded megabytes...

#57443 +(105)- [X]

<Yaleman> omg.. you should see a netsplit / join on a warez channel with over 3000 people in it... intense
<Yaleman> OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
<Yaleman> it's like a rollercoaster ride man

#63886 +(205)- [X]

<Maksim> bash: rtfm: command not found

#66308 +(86)- [X]

<prawn> i bet your array of games consoles and ability to buy wrestling PPVs makes you really popular

#76705 +(493)- [X]

<NeoMatriX> Two friends, /exit and /quit sitting in the garden, /exit goes away,who is still there??

#80824 +(71)- [X]

<gaurav> ahh i feel sexeh
<airliner> irc is the only place you can feel sexy gaurav

#80833 +(167)- [X]

<cyberia> anybody know how to hack banks

#85363 +(360)- [X]

<@Megaman984> So, would the Old Testament be First Edition, New Testament Second, and the Koran Third?
<+MegamanX2K> yeah
<+MegamanX2K> which explains the crusades
<+MegamanX2K> they were burning 3rd edition heretics
<+MegamanX2K> good thing Jerusalem made a saving throw

#97901 +(178)- [X]

<deepspring> well.. my car just passed it's blueslip inspection and I mean just...
<deepspring> the mechanic said that he found plenty of "minor" issues that I would have to fix... luckily he let them slide
<deepspring> minor oil leak from the automatic transmission
<deepspring> bad hatch alignment
<deepspring> one of my driving lights (little halogen addon ones) was buggered
<LrdShaper> bad driver behind wheel
<deepspring> my ignition key can drop out of the ignition while the engine is running
<LrdShaper> right front wheel held on by masking tape
<LrdShaper> but the cathodes and led fans are what made himover look the problems

#105605 +(227)- [X]

<Kyou> lemme guess... i'm 12000 in binary?

#112686 +(185)- [X]

(oscarb) so uhm
(oscarb) a/s/l
(session_xo) 52/f/thailand
(oscarb) marry me
(session_xo) why?
(oscarb) because i like orange juice

#136485 +(34)- [X]

<Ralph`> u know teh way balck ppl talk?
<Ralph`> how tehy say "thur" stead of "there" and "hur" stead of "hair"?
<AXEiii> ...?
<Ralph`> how do you think they say "her" as in... "her"?
<DeAZNriDe> that bitch

#147008 +(228)- [X]

<curse|sleeeep> i think i'm calling in to work tomorrow
<curse|sleeeep> i'm coughing up things that aren't even mine
<Zomb-mar> next time spit and dont swallow

#147262 +(152)- [X]

<Robotzombie> love is never having to say I wish you didn't have a nutsack
<Robotzombie> well, maybe it's not

#153494 +(350)- [X]

<_Godless_> other night, was fucking hella drunk
<_Godless_> next day I'm thirsty and I see a cup and I'm thinking alright. I got that before I went to bed last night. Water on
<_Godless_> well the first sip tasted funny, like it was watered down really bitter beer
<_Godless_> then the second time I started thinking wtf, did I drop a fucking tylenol in it when I was hungover in the morning
<_Godless_> well I finaly decide to get up and change the water .. that's when I notice the nice yellow hue
<ravnus> rofl
<_Godless_> I just hope it was mine >_<

#181998 +(329)- [X]

<skunk>What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??

#200255 +(671)- [X]

<SSilver2k> he worked on a server called Servix in a college, he asked this girl to log into her "servix" terminal...you can see how that conversation went.

#387433 +(577)- [X]

<OppeSnopp> anyone know how to clear the history out of explorer's damned "textbox memory"? (dont
            wont my wife to get 'black monseter cocks' when she's going to do a google that starts          
            with the letter b)

#393574 +(764)- [X]

[sides] the other day my aunt and cousins were over my house for the night and them and my family were in the living room
[sides] some how we started talking about pamela anderson. my sister was like "well it's not like she's in porn or anything"
[sides] and they were all arguing over if she's in porn or not.
[sides] I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying to fix my dad's computer, which is in the same room. but I heard them talking about porn so I listened up
[sides] and when my sister said "no she's never been in a real porn or anything"
[sides] I spoke up and said "oh yes she has!"
[sides] everyone looks at me funny and I hadn't realized what I did wrong yet and my dad's like "how do you know that?"
[sides] so I just got up and went upstairs.

#393869 +(416)- [X]

<imanz> sorry about my server il get it up
* absynthe wonders where she's heard THAT before...

#459276 +(1148)- [X]

<LadyAerowen> I'm allowed to have my own opinion, burra :P
<burrahobbit> i dont know where you got that idea from but it is wrong

#482500 +(926)- [X]

<Nirvana000> So I went to Wal-Mart today to try and buy a copy of San Andreas.
<Nirvana000> I couldn't see any copies on the shelves so I went to the counter to ask. The girl didn't speak a word of English. I tried asking her "Do you have San Andreas for sale?" in a REALLY slow and clear tone, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Then she said something in Spanish over the speakers.
<Nirvana000> I was REALLY getting pissed at this point.
<Nirvana000> She must have called the manager, cos he came up to the counter and started asking me in poor English what I wanted.
<Nirvana000> Me: "Do you have San Andreas? SAN ANDREAS!"
<Nirvana000> Him: "SAN FERNANDO!?!?!"
<Nirvana000> Me: "WTF? SAN ANDREAS!"
<Nirvana000> Him: "AAH, SAN FERNANDO!"
<Nirvana000> He went into the back muttering something about San Fernando. WTF?
<Nirvana000> Couple minutes later he came out with a copy of Madden NFL 2004. He was waving it around, and he wouldn't stop saying "SAN FERNANDO! SAN FERNANDO!"
<Nirvana000> And then I just left.

#685827 +(1544)- [X]

<cheater> legal drinking age in poland is "i have 3 dollars"

#706089 +(835)- [X]

<splosh123> Just a question if anyone knows... How many wind power mill things do you need to power... say... Brisbane
<dazzawul> thousands
<dazzawul> and they will be noisy
<dazzawul> and push australia to the west

#874987 +(1446)- [X]

<imp0rt> guys i got some new spanish neighbours anyone know some spanish?
<niiiiike> im fluent :D
<imp0rt> K can you help me say
<imp0rt> I would like to welcome you to our neighbourhood
<imp0rt> sounds cheesy i know but they got some hot daughter :P
<niiiiike> erm..
<niiiiike> Me gustaria chupar los senos de su hija
<imp0rt> You sreious?
<niiiiike> Yeh, got it off translater tho XD
<imp0rt> K ty :)
<imp0rt> brb daughter flirting time ;)
*** Imp0rt has Quit IRC (QUIT: getting spanish pussy)
<|t34b4gg1n|> That isn't right is it?
<niiiiike> Course not XD it means i wanna suck on you daughters tits ahahahha
<|t34b4gg1n|> You, sir are evil XD
about 10 minutes later
*** Imp0rt has joined #Rand
<imp0rt> Fuck you nike fuckin tellin me bullshit
<niiiiike> WHAT?!?! Man you must have pronouned something wrong
<niiiiike> cos like
<niiiiike> if you say "sen" "os" it means somethin like rubbish
<niiiiike> so you would've insulted their house
<niiiiike> its pronouned
<niiiiike> "sien" "yos"
<imp0rt> oh, i didn't know :\
<imp0rt> ima go tell em again, hopefully they'll understand
*** Imp0rt has Quit IRC (QUIT: 2nd time)
<|t34b4gg1n|> i almosts feel sorry for him
<niiiiike> not me.

#949486 +(451)- [X]

<Me> the nigerian prince scam is old
<Me> today you do it like this:
<Me> hi, im an arabic dictator, and i have to get my vast fortune outside the country soon

0.0437 20983 quotes approved; 1069 quotes pending
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