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#579 +(697)- [X]

[06:26pm] <shmoo> did you know if you deleate stuff you get your giggabytes back?

#2435 +(219)- [X]

<Skates> DOS was my favorite operating system, overall
<Skates> it was cool because it took skill to use it

#3614 +(52)- [X]

<Waters> I practice safe sex
<Waters> I masterbate with a condom on

#4019 +(230)- [X]

<drlion> squirrels have sexy tails
<drlion> like foxes
<[ric]> hmm.... define "sexy"
<[ric]> in fact, don't... I will leave it to my imagination.. :)

#7089 +(53)- [X]

<Kash> Biee, my modem cost me 8 bucks
<Bieeardo> Holy shit.  That's... oy.
<Kash> IT IS A CURCUIT BOARD AND A BELL
<Kash> circuit
<Kash> lol
<Bieeardo> Oh, so it's a hard-coded version of EQ?

#7120 +(59)- [X]

<AgentAce1> hmm
<AgentAce1> well that's interesting
<AgentAce1> actually...that's fuckin weird ass shit

#7801 +(990)- [X]

(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car

#8379 +(1044)- [X]

<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????///////////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude

#8735 +(592)- [X]

<arfmcbarf> i'm gonna teach you a lesson you wont soon forget
<arfmcbarf> i.e., how to integrate ln x from 0 to infinity
<arfmcbarf> first you get the antiderivitive
<arfmcbarf> of ln(x)
<arfmcbarf> i.e., 1/x
<arfmcbarf> then i forget the rest

#8836 +(69)- [X]

<D1> can't touch this.
<var> thats because were not gay and have no desire to d1

#9403 +(32)- [X]

<FOCK> god damn
<FOCK> every fucking one of these clients  blow
<FOCK> ugh... unknown internal command (/me)
<rude> hahah
<CIA> ./action
<rude> dude, throw that trash out
<FOCK> i need to lay the smackdown on this fucker
<rude> /ctcp #chan action :stuff
<FOCK> no BitchX for BeOS
<rude> maybe you don't need the :
<FOCK> *ANGERRRRRR*
<rude> what're you doin' on be?
<FOCK> no wonder this os hasnt taken off, no decent irc clients

#10345 +(538)- [X]

<AceAway> well later bitches of to the hospital
<SForce> that sounds promising
<AceAway> not really spend half my life going to them all part of being stuck in this damn wheelchair
<SForce> unfortunate
<SForce> makes me want to stand up

#10472 +(36)- [X]

<deimos_> so now i gotta get bitchx working the way i want
<deimos_> and modify the stats util for bitch log format
<deimos_> hh, bitchx rather
<Toast> yeah, I was going to say that hep doesn't HAVE  a log format..

#11117 +(439)- [X]

<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss
<@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach
<@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing
<@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself

#11146 +(337)- [X]

<spoob> drewb; it's been so long since I've had my cock sucked that I'm not sure it can handle less than one atmosphere anymore

#12164 +(229)- [X]

<Guyp> unreal uses the Super Mario Bros. engine

#22725 +(733)- [X]

<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a webcam and have to be naked

#25027 +(357)- [X]

<[avon]> oh man
<[av0n]> even vc++6 rocks
<[av0n]> after install
<[av0n]> do you want to reboot now?
<[av0n]> no
<[av0n]> the system must be rebooted click ok to reboot
<[av0n]> and i bet you anything when i alt+f4 the box
<[av0n]> i'm gonna reboot
<[av0n]> just watch.
*** Quits: [av0n] (justin@mask-2556.swbell.net) (Connection reset by peer)

#26766 +(198)- [X]

<Spink> man
<Spink> I shot myself in the neck, that sucked
<Minion> it's too bad you obviously survived
<Spink> yeah
<Spink> If only it was a gun
<Spink> I'd probably be happier
<Minion> We'd all be happier
<Spink> jizz on my collar :/

#26999 +(25)- [X]

<+MaNiAk> she cant use stuff like
<+MaNiAk> webcams
<+MaNiAk> since she has win95
<+Yamatto> why does your mom wanna be on webcam?
<+Munkey> lol
<+OGE> *coughcamwhorecough*
<@Magus> eww
<+MaNiAk> fuck you oge and i hope you balls rot off

#31131 +(179)- [X]

<ethanv> QUESTION #184: What is the largest lake in the world?
(trendwhore) Caspain Sea
<+BootsSiR> trendwhore's mom's bathtub

#40492 +(299)- [X]

<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

#46023 +(655)- [X]

<aen> I am so hungry.
<aen> Germs are shitting in my mouth.
<aen> And I can taste it.
<evilbob> oh. I misread that as Germans

#50269 +(246)- [X]

<taglin>   ok, so te pretty menu came up and is asking you to add drives?
<suds>   yeh
<suds>   done that
<taglin>   k... whats next?
<suds>   weee
<suds>   hang on a sec...
<suds>   need more rum+coke+spritz of lime
<suds>   :)
<taglin>   heh
<taglin>   i think some of the problems with this crazy install could be alcohol related

#50932 +(376)- [X]

*** Joins: Canadianpirate (java@=YEpe33-53-450-851.om.om.cox.net)
<@Oshi> Eyarrr, eh?

#51132 +(467)- [X]

<DN-Mark> touch and taste are basically the same
<Jude> Please... I dare you to go squeeze a donut in your fist until you can feel how sugary and sweet it is.

#51994 +(279)- [X]

* animosity`snow`boardin is now known as animosity`FUCKING`PARENTS
<tP-InfamousGadget> ewww

#58520 +(188)- [X]

* Mr`Anders is now known as MrAndersn
<TreOptik> mrandersn sounds like a pedophile biochemestry teacher
***later
<_spirit_> hmm mr anderson... that reminds me of highschool
<TreOptik> i said something like that too ..

#65120 +(4700)- [X]

<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<lasombra> tumult ?
<tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<tumult> he says bullshit
<tumult> i tell him to fuck off
<tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<tumult> sits back down
<tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
<tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<tumult> from my lip
<tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
<tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<zyko^> what did she do?
<tumult> punched me in the face

#76504 +(263)- [X]

<goatTRICKS> i used to go to this daycare
<goatTRICKS> and there was a big black retarded guy and he had nicknames for everyone that didnt make any sense
<goatTRICKS> and mine was Jukebox Brian

#76938 +(719)- [X]

<Anatole> Drug money supports terrorism. Oil money supports terrorism. Tax money supports terrorism.
<Anatole> I just cut out the middlemen and write a check each week for ten dollars, made out to "TERRORISM."
<Ein> sweet
<Ein> where do I mail my check?
<Anatole> Wherever. The terrorists will find it.

#80309 +(300)- [X]

<Callick> Thanks a ton man..
<Yoss> no big deal
<Yoss> sending to a 56k is like peeing in the ocean

#80413 +(1035)- [X]

<Spliff> What's the meaning of life?
<CrystalShard> To find out whats the meaning of life.
<Rivorus> woah
<Rivorus> deep
<CrystalShard> "We are the Universe that is trying to understand itself." - Delenn, Babylon 5.
<Rivorus> "I like chicken, I like liver" - Kitten, Meow Mix commercial
<CrystalShard> Woah.
<CrystalShard> Deep.
<Rivorus> hahahaha

#81434 +(222)- [X]

* The following takes place the day after the Second Gulf War began.

<@HEMI> kjfklsdf
<@HEMI> All hell is breaking loose!
<@HEMI> Things are falling apart at work. I just got back from lunch. Yay!
<@TenBaseT> god damn you
<@TenBaseT> I just hit refresh on 6 news sites because of that.

#103072 +(129)- [X]

<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick

#105457 +(287)- [X]

<fyre> i'd like to meet a CS chick, just once
<fyre> and ask her if she wants a headshot

#106643 +(208)- [X]

<Mr_Hanky> fubu = Farmers Used to Beat Us?

#115490 +(237)- [X]

<aen> That's weird. I thought someone told me .bins were better than .isos because you can repair them more easily or something, but also that it had compression.
<Gayo> He was a .bin propagandist, tricking you with his honeyed lies.

#134610 +(293)- [X]

<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_-

#162081 +(172)- [X]

<ByteSize> warez = abrv. from "where is"
<ByteSize> right?

#174774 +(160)- [X]

<Calvinosaur> I'm going to ethnically cleanse script kiddies. I'll call it "The Final Solution to the j00ish Problem."

#210645 +(1201)- [X]

<@a-arse> sheeit, think me mum saw pr0n
<@a-arse> alt-tab doesn't work when the other window is porn too :(

#283819 +(1015)- [X]

<ic3n3t> there is a bunch of girls playing soccer in the park
<uberartsyboi> im coming over.
<ic3n3t> i think they are 15
<ic3n3t> pedophile!
<uberartsyboi> im shaving the goatee then coming over.
<ic3n3t> i'll get the lawn chairs

#491664 +(2460)- [X]

<Zach> Is your Dad home?
<videogameaholic> yep
<Zach> You get any hot chicks on the internet yet?
<videogameaholic> wtf?  There aren't any chicks on the internet.
<Zach> You gotta do what I do.  I get onto one of them lesbian chatrooms and pretend to be a 19 year old girl.
<videogameaholic> I bet the other 60 "horny lesbians" in that room think they are just as clever as you.
<Zach> no no no, they're really women, they send me naked pictures
<videogameaholic> What do you do when they ask for yours?
<Zach> I send them a pic of a 19 year old girl.
<videogameaholic> ...
<Zach> No seriously, they're all lesbians.
<videogameaholic> If you say so...
<Zach> damn straight.
<videogameaholic> I'm sure you are.

#501650 +(1456)- [X]

<RobbiePaul> I'm going to work on an econ paper which states that walmart has hurt america, but not the way most people think
<RobbiePaul> i say by keeping prices low, people that shouldn't survive are able to

#635060 +(1930)- [X]

<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE

#789672 +(2484)- [X]

grosslack: Hell is a place of everlasting damnation and fire.
locokamil: Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.

#873806 +(507)- [X]

<Y\N> irc is just a google frontend with more insults

#891926 +(472)- [X]

<a_passerby> vmware should really sell t-shirts
<a_passerby> they could call it vmwear

#949335 +(212)- [X]

<M07w> you haven't been on the internet until you've seen a disembodied breast wearing a pair of panties

0.0565 20983 quotes approved; 978 quotes pending
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